Zach Zehnder's Blog, page 18

Is Struggling to Forgive a Past Sin A YOU Problem?

I had a question asked of me a few weeks ago. Check out what Justin had to say:

Hey Pastor Zach,

You have said that more people have a harder timereceiving forgiving forreceiving forgiveness for themselves more than forgiveness of others, but that’s not me! I totally know God forgives me, but I struggle with forgiving others, and particularly one or two people in my past. So if Forgiving Challenge is all about accepting God’s forgiveness for ourselves, is this book really for me?

Sincerely,

Justin from Wichita, KS

 

Hey Justin,

That’s a great question.

First off, I’m sorry that some pain in your past is still affecting you. However, the fact that we are called to forgive in the first place means that sin, injustice, pain, and evil consequences come. Forgiveness is not an easy topic, ever!

I am so glad that you don’t live in condemnation. The Bible doesn’t want us identified by our sin. Perhaps you were born in the church or, since conversation, have thrown yourself into being a follower of Jesus wholeheartedly. Maybe you find the habits of discipleship easy: prayer, reading your Bible, attending church, or solitude just come naturally for you. Maybe rule-following, like the Ten Commandments, seems like a no-brainer.

If you totally feel forgiven by Jesus, but you are still struggling with forgiving others, I would go back to studying and understanding God’s forgiveness. You referenced the question I have asked rooms full of primarily Christians, “Do you have a harder time receiving God’s forgiveness for yourself or giving away His forgiveness to others?”. Every single time the answer is nearly identical, with about 80-90% of the room struggling more with receiving God’s forgiveness than with forgiving others. So, although you are in the minority, some still struggle to forgive others.

At first, I was shocked since the majority in the room had heard about God’s forgiveness and His offering of grace over and over and over again. This response led me to write Forgiving Challenge in the first place. I wanted people to understand God’s total forgiveness.

By looking at all the direct commands that Jesus gave to His disciples about forgiveness, you will find the key to forgiving others stand out more clearly than you have ever seen before.

The Red Letters of Jesus concerning His commands to forgive others are listed below:

Matthew 6:12         And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.      

Matthew 6:14-15    For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11:25             And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that  your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Luke 6:37               Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Luke 11:4               Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

 

These commands of Jesus are direct and obvious. Here are a few other instances He talks about forgiveness, either as more commands or in His general teaching.

Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.  Luke 7:47

In the previous instance, Jesus connects a sacrificial act from a misunderstood woman to how much He had forgiven her. Her motivation to do a good work was fueled by the grace that Jesus had already given to her. In the coming section, Jesus is telling us that our forgiveness should extend even to those who continually make a mess of things.

If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.  Luke 17:3-4

Directly after hearing this, in verse 5, the disciples get it right this time. They say, “Increase our faith.” Forgiving others is always connected to our faith.

Finally, after the resurrection, Jesus makes His presence available to the disciples in a quarantined room. Some of His last instructions He would leave with the disciples are the following:

If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” John 20:23

Those are big words and give the disciples great responsibility. But it’s the four words that Jesus declares to them before this that make this possible. He says in John 20:22, Receive the Holy Spirit.

What does Jesus want to tell us loud and clear through all of His Red Letters? How you forgive others is in direct proportion to your own receiving of God’s forgiveness! It is impossible to forgive others without first receiving God’s forgiveness ourselves. This truth is the single biggest key to forgiving others: a forgiven person is a forgiving person.

Forgiving others is really tough. It’s not easy and usually not cut-and-dry. But when you compare forgiving others to how Jesus has forgiven you, Jesus’s forgiveness will always win the day. It’s easy to hold onto a grudge when you are the victim. After all, the offender should have to pay for their mistake. The reality is, when we choose unforgiveness, either we are acting better than others, or we don’t trust that God can take that hurt and make it right. It’s really easy for some of us to begin to compare and contrast our sins. But here’s a sobering question: are you taking a hard look at the condition of your own heart? Could there be pride? Resentment? Perfectionism? Self-righteousness?

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when there is the log in your own eye. You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.  Matthew 7:3-5

Our own perceived innocence and the story of injustice in our own minds are what fuel our unforgiveness of others.

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9

We can only stay mad at someone if we perceive ourselves as better in a particular area. We take God’s forgiveness for granted when we minimize the sacrifice that Jesus endured. When we don’t correctly understand His forgiveness in our lives, we minimize our sin and elevate the sins of others.

Forgiving Challenge looks at Jesus and how He forgave. It’s when we fix our eyes on Jesus that we begin to see how truth and grace work beautifully together. When we take our eyes off of Jesus, that’s when problems come. When we start to look at ourselves, that rotten neighbor, or our betraying friend, it’s hard to forgive. But when we see what Jesus did for us, it creates humility and gives us the proper motivation to forgive. 

When I look at Jesus, I am continually reminded of how amazing it is that God would forgive me. That and that alone is the only proper motivation when it comes to forgiving others. The only way we can even say those words is because the Holy Spirit is alive in us. Though initially, I was surprised to see so many people who struggle more to receive God’s forgiveness than give it away to others, I now believe it’s the correct theological understanding. When we see how much God has forgiven of us, it should lead all of us to lift our hands in humble thankfulness. The more we understand what Jesus did for us, the more we will grow in forgiving the sins of others.

Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all.   Psalm 65:3

For more on forgiveness, check out Forgiving Challenge. Already completed Forgiving Challenge? Then take the next step and download our FREE ebook Forgiving Others Challenge to continue the journey.

The post Is Struggling to Forgive a Past Sin A YOU Problem? appeared first on Red Letter Living.

3 Reasons We Don’t Hear God’s Voice

When Jesus sent out His 12 disciples, He said this to them:

Matthew 10:27: What is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.

The other day I was reading a devotion for my children at the breakfast table, and apparently, everyone in my family thinks I read and talk way too loud! I think I read loud because I see my kids’ attention so quickly going away from what I’m saying! We were reading about the story of Elijah and what happened after he had single-handedly defeated hundreds of false prophets in a duel to prove who the real God was (found in 1 Kings 18-19). It’s a fantastic story of a faith-filled prophet who wouldn’t take anything from anybody.

But amazingly, after this incredible victory, this faith-filled prophet, all of a sudden, became a fear-filled prophet. After his success, the wicked queen Jezebel wanted to kill Elijah and became so scared. In fact, he went on the run and contemplated suicide. Eventually, he ran to a cave where amazingly, God visited him.

As he was in the cave, there was an earthquake, a giant wind, and then a fire. But God didn’t speak to Elijah in the earth, wind, and fire. Instead, His voice came to Elijah through a gentle whisper, and the whisper said to Elijah, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” So after some back and forth, God sends Elijah out again by encouraging him, and then this faith-filled prophet is back on his way.

Many people struggle to hear from God but really want to hear from God. For example, one year, I polled my church on any questions they had regarding faith and regarding God, and the number one question they were seeking an answer to was, “How do I hear God’s voice?” 

I believe we have a God who loves to relate to His children.

Dallas Willard says this, “If God doesn’t speak today, then the greatest disservice we could ever do to people is to tell them that they could have a personal relationship with God.” 

If we are struggling to hear the voice of God in our life, the problem is not that God isn’t speaking; it’s that we aren’t listening.  

Here are 3 reasons why we struggle to hear God’s voice today:

 

1: Busyness

Let me bold in saying this: You can’t do everything you are currently doing. We are more and more stressed today than we were a year ago, and the statistics are only getting more discouraging. Until we figure out what life is really about and spend our time, energy, and priorities on those things, and stop trying to do everything that everybody asks me all the time, we will burn out and be too busy.

Something has to change. And here’s a really practical thing that I’ve implemented in my life that I learned from Carey Nieuwhof’s High Impact Leader Course. Decide what you will do ahead of time.

If you don’t have clarity on what it is you need to do, someone else’s priorities will quickly become yours. For instance, think about this. No one will ever ask you to complete your top priorities. They will only ask you to achieve theirs. That’s why they email you, right?

As a pastor, I’ve never gotten an email from anyone saying, “Hey Zach, will you make sure you spend 5 hours today working on your sermon so that it’s awesome on Sunday?” Instead, the emails I get are “Hey, can I meet up with you,” or “I need to talk, can you meet,” or “I need help with this…” And if you aren’t careful with your time, you won’t get your stuff done because you’ll be completing other people’s stuff.

Where this falls into our topic for the day is if you aren’t careful and if you don’t schedule a time to BE with God (remember, BEING is one of the 5 targets of great disciples, and I would argue the most important), then how in the world can you expect to hear God’s voice. Be intentional about scheduling time with God. Amid your busyness, decide ahead of time when you will have your personal one-on-one time with God.

 

2: Competing Voices

God could be speaking to you very clearly, but if everyone else is screaming at you, you won’t hear him.

Usually, I don’t ever want to watch or listen to TV commercials. I’ll record something so I can fast-forward through them or if it’s a live event, I’ll mute them. The only time I really want to hear TV commercials is during the Super Bowl. But what’s crazy is I usually can’t listen to them because I’m surrounded by many others as we watch the “Big Game” together. When everyone else is talking, even though I want to hear the commercial, I’m unable to in the midst of the competing voices.

This is a small picture of what it’s like in our world today. There are so many competing voices that we often don’t hear God’s voice in the midst of it. Perhaps there are no louder voices than the digital ones coming at us: iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch (you can tell I’m an Apple fan, huh?!), social media, etc. It’s all right in front of us, and it’s hard to drown out those voices when we are constantly “on” to the world’s voices. If I get a notification on my wrist every minute from my Apple Watch, how in the world can I expect to hear God’s voice in the midst of that?

Kids between 8 and 18 spend 7.5 hours a day, 53 hours a week on screens. Then some of us will bring our kids to 1-1.5 hours of church on a Sunday. God barely has a chance with all these other competing voices. Social media and the digital world need to have their place.

What rules can you set in your house? Screen basket? Set time every day where your devices are off? No devices until you’ve spent time with God? Find something that works for you. And, as a side, one of my pet peeves is when parents complain about the screen time their children have. That’s not your child’s fault; that’s your fault as a parent. When that child is under your roof, you get to set the rules. Rise up! I’ve written more on how to master your smartphone and not be dominated by it in this blog.

To hear God’s voice, you have to turn down the world’s volume.

I’ve also noticed that the enemy’s voice is a lot louder than God’s voice. It feels like the enemy is shouting while God speaks in a still, small, gentle whisper.

Why is this? It’s because God is reminding you that He doesn’t need to shout. The enemy needs to shout because he is busy prowling around, seeking someone to devour. He doesn’t want to get close to you or spend time in a relationship with you. No, he wants to shout something so loud at you and then keep moving on. But God, He’s right by your side. He’s close, He’s near. His voice is still speaking, but is your life so filled with distractions that you can’t hear him? 

God can speak to anyone, anytime, anywhere, but I wonder how often we miss hearing from God because we don’t spend the time to quiet and listen.

 

3: Fear

There are many people who, truth be told, can’t hear God’s voice because they’re not sure if they want to. Deep down, they know they aren’t living in a God-honoring way, and so rather than coming close to God, they run further from Him. They are afraid that if God speaks, His voice will condemn them further and bring even more shame and guilt than they are going through already. This is a lie from Satan.

Much of the problems that we experience in this world come from when we listen to the enemy’s lies far more than the Gospel in God’s Voice.  

I have good news for you. When our God speaks, he speaks words of encouragement meant to save you, not to condemn you (John 3:17).

It is, after all, God’s kindness that leads us to change.

If you’ve not been hearing God’s voice because you’ve been avoiding it, remember that God has been welcoming sinners back from the beginning of time, and you, my friend, are no different. 

There is nothing too big or extreme that you could have done that God wouldn’t welcome you back home. Today, hear God’s whisper to you: “Come back. I love you. You are my child. I’ve got big plans for you.”

Which of these three, busyness, competing voices, or fear, do you struggle with the most?

 

Want to study more on hearing God’s voice? Join us for a 21 Days of Prayer Challenge Bible Reading Plan. Every day of this 21-day challenge will feature Bible readings with devotion to help answer some of the biggest questions about prayer. In addition, each day will feature a prayer prompt and also a challenge to complete. It is our hope that your relationship with God will grow through this amazing gift of prayer.

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New Year, New Habits – Don’t Set Resolutions, Form Keystone Habits

Happy New Year! I remember coming into 2021 feeling like it would be different from 2020. 2020 was a brutal year: living during a pandemic, racial tension, political instability, and fighting. But, 2021 wasn’t all that different from 2020. Not many of us thought that when we flipped the calendar into 2022, we’d still be dealing with these same issues. I heard comedian Jim Gaffigan describe 2021 as “the blowout diaper right after you just changed your baby’s initial diaper.” If you are a parent, you can relate. We’ve all been there. It just feels like we are going from one mess to another to another again. Time to clean up again. When will we get a break?!

There’s good news, though. Even when outer circumstances don’t or won’t change, you still can change. And, furthermore, as a follower of Jesus, even when all things around you aren’t what they ought to be, you still can be calm in the midst of the chaos, a voice in the noise. Our faith in Jesus actually allows us to shine brighter in darker times. 

As another New Year rolls around, many people are clinging to change and using their New Year’s Resolutions to spur that change on. Through tracking the resolutions that people made this year, research tells us most resolutions revolve around these three things: physical health, financial health, and relational health. I love the heart from which resolutions typically come. People are interested in their health and growth, and many times, resolutions come from the fact that people have noted something in their life needs to change.

Personally, I still want to grow, I still need to change, and I still desire to step more significantly into the calling that God has placed on my life.

But three years ago, I made a resolution to stop making resolutions. Why?

Resolutions aren’t effective.

According to Jon Acuff’s book Finish, 92% of New Year’s resolutions fail. Only 8% succeed. From a guy that loves numbers and statistics, this is simply not an effective strategy to life change.

I then searched to find what is more effective than resolutions. It’s essential if I ditched resolutions that I pick up something else.

So I picked up setting goals. I love setting goals. It gives me something to shoot for and helps me focus on what’s essential in becoming the person God has called me to be. I followed the S.M.A.R.T. (Smart, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely) method and found some success. And even with goals that I didn’t fully accomplish, I would typically make some progress. Some would say not achieving a goal is a failure, but making progress towards most goals is still a net win.

But still, there were pieces of my life that I was desiring a change in that just having a goal on paper didn’t help me get to. I found that willpower, hard work, and grit are helpful at times in accomplishing goals, but not the long-term answer. In my search for bringing about life change, I stumbled upon something that truly helped change my life.

Are you ready?

Habits.

Habits help us accomplish goals or resolutions in life. The 8% of those that find success in achieving their goals in life go beyond willpower and grit. They go beyond writing it on paper. They go beyond finding an accountability partner. Instead, they have found a way to instill a habit in their life that helps them become the person God has called them to be.

Research from Duke University shows us that 40% of the decisions we make every day aren’t actually decisions we make, but rather habits that we’ve formed. 

If that’s the case, that means we are just on auto-pilot for about half of what we do in life. I have spent many years as a pastor trying to help people make significant decisions (and that’s important), but what’s just as important is to help everyone instill the proper habits because that puts us intentionally in a place where we automatically make the right decisions.

The last two years have been years that have forced change to our habits. When major disruption arrives, new habits and rhythms come shortly after. What habits did you create?

A new year represents a great time to form new habits.

Here are two imperative truths around habits that you need to know:

 

1: Keystone habits are real. 

Keystone habits were introduced to us by Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit. Keystone habits are habits that unintentionally spill over into other areas of our lives. They are no more complicated to form than any other habits. Physical examples of keystone habits are making your bed, flossing your teeth, and exercising regularly. 

Over the past three years, I have become physically healthier (dropped 30 pounds), become far more productive (even with more sleep), and most importantly, have grown in my relationship with Jesus. It all started with a single keystone habit: exercise daily.

As I began to exercise daily, I realized other areas of my life that I could grow in, especially spiritually.

 

2: Not all keystone habits are created equal.

I believe that no habits create a more significant domino effect in our lives than spiritual habits. This is because, ultimately, all of our doing in this world should effectively come out of our being in a relationship with God. If that’s true, then our primary focus in life should always be on growing in our relationship with God.

If everything in our lives flows from our spirit, we need to be very careful what spiritual habits we are performing or not performing.

How do we grow in our relationship with God? Look to Jesus. He is the only perfect person who has ever existed in a perfect relationship with God. Therefore, He is the ideal person we look to as our example in this world.

Even Jesus tells us this: Matthew 11:29: Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

Jesus is inviting us into a way of life where He leads, and we follow Him. The more we sit at his feet and learn from Him, the more we become like Him. The more His habits become our habits. And the more these habits will begin to feel like unforced rhythms of grace in our lives.

Listen to how Eugene Peterson summarizes Paul’s word to Timothy in 1 Peter 4:7-8: Exercise daily in God – no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever.

So what habits did Jesus have in his life?

After a thorough study of the Gospels, noting anytime that Jesus either practiced or taught on certain spiritual habits, I found what I believe are the five keystone habits of Jesus. Here they are:

 

1: Commit to Community 

You can’t read any of the 4 Gospels in the New Testament without seeing that one of the very first things that Jesus does is choose His disciples. He committed to a community of like-minded people from the very beginning of His ministry.

The stories of Jesus choosing His disciples are found in Matthew 4, Mark 1, Luke 6, and John 1.

4, 1, 6, and 1. 

In other words, very early on in the accounts of His ministry. I think if anyone could have gone alone and had great results in this world, it would be Jesus. Sometimes I even think His community held Him back. But Jesus commits to community. Why?

Because of this truth: You are not meant to be alone.

As we think about and explore the different keystone habits of Jesus, this one may not come to the top of many lists. In fact, many spiritual discipline lists will be more personal/individual things you can do. Still, I would argue that this habit of committing to community could just be one of the most important things to help you in your relationship with God. Because who your friends are, what they do, it matters in your life.

Dr. David McClelland, a social psychologist from Harvard, says the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life. 95%. That’s crazy!

Who you do life with typically dictates the type of person you are.

 

2: Study Scripture 

There are about 80 instances of Jesus quoting Old Testament Scripture in the Gospels alone, so it’s clear that Jesus had a thorough understanding of the Scriptures. Listening to a Tim Keller sermon, he said that there are 1800 Bible verses where Jesus is speaking…those red letters in your Bible. 1800 verses. And 180 of them are Him quoting Scripture. 10%.

As we talk about habits, so many of the habits in our lives flow out of our identity. I’ve heard before this phrase: “Identity determines biography.” The most incredible place to discover who our God is and who you are is through the Scriptures.

Studying Scriptures allows us to see our true identity and form other keystone spiritual habits that will help us be the people God calls us.

 

3: Prioritize Prayer

The success of any relationship has to start with communication. Prayer is how we communicate with God.

As I studied the life of Jesus in the 4 Gospels of our New Testament, I found nearly 50 times that Jesus either practiced prayer or taught on the importance of prayer. Jesus is shown praying alone, praying in public, praying first thing in the morning, praying in the evening, praying before meals, before important decisions, before and after healings. In fact, in one place where Jesus was praying, there must have been some way in which Jesus was praying differently than the disciples, for they asked Jesus, “Teach us how to pray.” The disciples had certainly prayed before, but there was something about how Jesus communicated with God that was different.

James, the brother of Jesus, declares that if we are ever in need of wisdom, all we need to do is simply ask God, and He will give it to us.

These days that we are currently living in are really confusing. What if you could any time and any place receive the direction and wisdom of God? Prayer is a powerful tool that allows us to cry out to a God that will answer us. 

 

4: Seek Solitude

Jesus sought or taught solitude nearly 40 times in the Gospels. He would seek solitude before making decisions and beginning hard work, and he would even seek solitude in the middle of his work and recharge after the work was completed. He spent 40 days in the wilderness before He began His 3-year ministry that would lead Him to the cross to be alone with God.

Not only is the world confusing, but it’s also very noisy. Solitude with God allows us to quiet the world’s noise down and listen to His voice. It’s one thing in this world to receive direction from God, but it’s hard to stay on the right path with all of the noise and distractions. Isn’t that why we need to do things like resolutions, goals, and habits in the first place?

When you spend time with God, He gives you a focus that can cut through all of the noise and chaos of this world.

 

5: Choose Church

Even though the church looks very different today than it did in the day in which Jesus lived, there are several verses, including Luke 21:37, that tell us Jesus gathered with those that would make up the church every single day. He not only attended church, but He used His gifts for the benefit of the church.

Though our church looks very different from the day in which Jesus lived, and though our churches today may look very different from one another, let us not give up the habit of meeting together. Our world is filled with bad news and depressing statistics all the time. When the church is done right, even though churches today look very different from one another, it is the consistent place where the Good News of Jesus is proclaimed. Whether you are gathering online or in-person in these crazy times, consistently surrounding yourself with the Good News of Jesus is simply one of the best choices you can make.

These 5 keystone habits of Jesus are the habits we are called to put in our lives. Which keystone habit will you improve this year?

 

I’ve written a complete 40-day challenge around these 5 keystone habits called Being Challenge. 

If you are a pastor and want to help your people instill these habits in their lives, now is the time. Here’s a post on why the beginning of the year is an excellent time for a challenge like this!

The challenge includes FREE sermon manuscripts and videos, small group materials, kids curriculum, graphics package, etc. In addition, there are kid’s workbooks available to help kids learn how to BE with God. We’ve even created training videos for FREE for you to help you learn how to implement a 40-day challenge in your setting. Click here to view those videos.

Our team is happy to help you implement this well. And we have some incentive right now!

Our church packs are normally 10-40% off, plus you get up to hundreds of dollars of FREE Bonuses! But, any church packs ordered before January 15, 2022, will receive an extra 5% off. Email our team for your own unique coupon code that could save you hundreds of dollars. 

If you have any questions, our team would be happy to serve you! Email us at hello@redletterchallenge.com, and we’ll get back to you! God bless you as you lead God’s church courageously in 2022!

The post New Year, New Habits – Don’t Set Resolutions, Form Keystone Habits appeared first on Red Letter Living.

Is Saying “Happy Holidays” — instead of “Merry Christmas” — unChristian? Does it really even matter?

Over the past decade, in an effort to be more inclusive of all types of people and religions, we’ve noticed more businesses, stores, and individuals have switched from saying “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays.” This change has created quite a stir! Several years ago, when Starbucks released a plain red cup, a segment of Christians from all over our country were in an uproar. Some people went so far as to boycott the establishment. Thankful for me, I don’t drink coffee. I did have a look at the cup though, and my first reaction was, “That’s a clean, nice looking cup!” 

It’s not Starbucks job to tell people “Merry Christmas.” God didn’t ask Starbucks to be the light of this world or the salt of the earth. It’s their job to serve a quality coffee. And while some would disagree on their quality, their numbers and revenues prove that they are doing just that.  

I was, and am often, embarrassed at the way Christians react to scenarios like this. But if I’m honest, I’m regularly embarrassed at the way Christians react to the pertinent issues in our day. I’m embarrassed because when it comes to a lot of major issues, our first response is to look at everyone else and say, “What’s wrong with them,” rather than “How can I make a difference?” What’s crazy is a lot of the “everyone else’s” that we are angry at aren’t even Christ followers in the first place! These are people that never signed up to follow Jesus and to live by his rules. We can’t hold them accountable for something they never signed up for in the first place. 

But we can look within ourselves.

Ultimately, we have a God whose first reaction for those outside of our fold is not to condemn, but to give grace. Romans 5:8 says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”    

The reality is that it’s getting harder in our country to be a Christian and to stand firm to our Christian morals and beliefs. In my lifetime, I’ve never heard as much negativity, pessimism, and fear surrounding our country and where it’s headed. Rather than jumping on the negative train and blaming everyone else for what is wrong, I choose to embrace the time and place in which I live. The reality is that Christians in this country have never been as valuable as we are right now because in the midst of all of the chaos and confusion, we are left with the only answer that matters! And it’s Jesus. He is our hope. 

Don’t get bothered when other people, businesses, or organizations don’t say “Merry Christmas,” especially if they don’t possess a faith in Christ. There are bigger issues at stake. As for you, go ahead and say “Merry Christmas.” You should. It is a great day! It was the day our Savior Jesus Christ was born! We have reason to celebrate!

Merry Christmas!

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5 Reasons to Launch Being Challenge at the Start of 2022

Well, as much as we may have been excited to flip the calendar away from 2020 to 2021, we can all admit that 2021 has just been an extension of 2020! I do believe, however, that as we are about to flip the calendar into 2022, many pastors and churches are settling into the new normal, and ready to put their best ministry efforts forward.

As you are planning your 2022 calendar, we’ve noticed the New Year season to be one of the most popular seasons for launching and running a 40-Day Challenge. And while we have three incredible challenges to offer, we really believe Being Challenge is positioned incredibly to start the year with. Here are five great reasons to implement Being Challenge at the start of 2022!

1) People are open for change at the beginning of the year

Let’s face it! A lot of people set new goals and resolutions as a new year begins.

There are no better goals, resolutions, or habits to put into place than what Jesus calls us toward. The success behind accomplishing NY goals and resolutions (which Jon Acuff, author of Finish, says is only 8%) is those that can have just enough discipline to create new habits. Being Challenge is a book centered on discipling its readers through the 5 keystone habits of Jesus. As people are thinking about the new year and bolstering their faith, there is no one greater to learn habits from than Jesus Himself. The habits that those in your church will learn are 1) Committing to Community, 2) Studying Scripture, 3) Prioritizing Prayer, 4) Seeking Solitude, and 5) Choosing Church. Being in relationship with God is the primary target of a follower of Jesus, and so why not invest 40 days into helping give people real answers for how to grow in their relationship with God?

2) Nothing brings unity like Jesus!

The last couple of years has been ripe with division. Whether it’s due to opinions on the pandemic, masks, or vaccines, or rising racial and political battles, it’s been a challenge to stay unified. I recently heard thought leader Carey Nieuwhof say that only 9% of pastors reported no division amongst their churches in the last 18 months. As we’ve all had to learn how to cope and live in the midst of a global pandemic, it’s easy to say that this recent period has been the most divisive, polarizing time that my generation has ever experienced. The answer for how to cut through division is Jesus. Being Challenge is a study that will dive deep into the life and habits of Jesus. As we study the life of Jesus, people will find themselves immersed into not only a great model and teacher, but a great Savior and Lord. The more people experience Jesus, the more unified your church will be.

 

3) Bring the Energy Back into the Room (And/Or into the Zoom)

Church has gotten more complicated with many not just creating a great atmosphere to worship God in their buildings, but also creating some form of an online service as well. Being Challenge is meant to not only make your Sunday services great, but also will tie your physically divided churches together during the week with ready-made small group materials. In addition, each day will feature the same reading and offer a challenge to complete. Churches of the future will be looking for resources to not only help them have a great experience on a Sunday, but that can live with their people Monday-Saturday as well. In fact, the number one word we have heard from pastors that have completed a challenge in Covid times is “unity.” 

 

4) A Turnkey Resource for the Whole Church

That’s right! I have a heart for helping pastors. I want each of the 40-Day challenge resources to be as turnkey as possible so that pastors can continue to give their all in other matters. Included with our 40-Day Challenges are FREE sermon manuscripts and videos, small group materials, kids curriculum, graphics package, etc. In addition, there are kid’s workbooks available to help kids not only learn, but be challenged in their faith as well. We’ve even created training videos for FREE for you to help you learn how to implement a 40-day challenge in your setting (Insert link).

 

5) These 40 Days will Produce Results All Year Long!

Being Challenge will teach and challenge its readers to grow in their relationship with God by instilling the 5 keystone habits of Jesus. We’ve heard countless stories of people who have completed a challenge in our books that will then go on and continue to implement the same challenges after the fact. So what can you expect? There will be people in your church as a result of this study that will commit to community (they’ll join a small group for the first time), study Scripture (they will commit to reading a Bible plan), they’ll prioritize prayer (they will start their day by praying), they’ll seek solitude (they’ll plan intentional time to spend with God), and they’ll choose church (they’ll make it a regular practice to attend the assembly of God and serve the local church). These practices will not only help each individual grow in their relationship with God, but they will transform your church.

Remember that all of our doing flows from our being! Let’s get so transformed on the inside at the start of the year that it spills over into everything we do on the outside for the rest of the year!

What are you waiting for?

Take the next step. If you are a pastor, you can request a FREE copy of Being Challenge at this link here and we will mail it to you. No strings attached. And if you decide to move forward with a church challenge, we’d be honored to work with you. We have some ready-made church packs ready to go at this link. We’d love to partner with you!

Let’s start the year 2022 bringing people back into relationship with the incredible God that we serve!

The post 5 Reasons to Launch Being Challenge at the Start of 2022 appeared first on Red Letter Living.

Launching an LCMS Denomination 40-Day Challenge on February 27th – Is Your Church in Yet?

Over the past few years, our team has led more than 600 churches through a 40-day challenge to help them ultimately become greater followers of Jesus. Despite the problematic Covid times we are experiencing, we are getting ready on February 27th, 2022, to launch the single largest denomination 40-day challenge season we’ve ever experienced. Check out this page for more information.

Imagine hundreds of Lutheran churches from across America (as well as a few international) with tens of thousands of Lutherans truly all walking together at the same time. I genuinely hope your church will be a part of it.

I want to share 5 reasons why Lent is the perfect time to launch a 40-day challenge in this blog. Also, in the end, if you’d like to be “in,” I’ll give you the timeline we have perfected over the past couple of Lenten seasons and some next steps that you will need to act upon quickly.

Why are so many churches jumping on board now? Here are 5 reasons:

1. Our 40-Day Challenges Fit Perfectly into the 40 Days of Lent!

Many churches worldwide celebrate a season called Lent before Easter Sunday. Lent is 40 days plus the Sundays…therefore, it leads perfectly to the grand celebration of Easter! The ultimate purpose of Lent is to prepare our hearts for the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

All of our 40-day challenges: Red Letter Challenge, Being Challenge, and Forgiving Challenge, end challenging the readers to “go and share the Good News of Jesus.” Sharing the Good News of Jesus can often come with an invitation to attend church as a next step. The Easter celebration is the perfect next step that so many in your community need to hear!

2. Our 40-Day Challenges Bring Unity by Focusing on Jesus!

Lent is ultimately a season where we look to Jesus to remember what He’s done for us and the life He’s given to us. Our 40-day challenges examine His words, habits, and life and present them in a simple-to-understand but challenging way that will produce results.

Our belief is that the best way to follow Jesus is simply to follow Jesus. 

There are many great answers on how to be a disciple of Jesus, but simply looking to Jesus is still the best answer! Never before has there been more information on what a disciple of Jesus is, but never before has there been more confusion on how to practice daily living out our faith.

In light of everything in the past two years, many of our churches have become far more complicated to lead. Many churches have and still are experiencing physical distancing and added division. When division abounds, it is imperative to look for resources to bring back unity. Nothing unifies like Jesus. The number one word we have heard from pastors who have completed one of our 40-day challenges during coronavirus as a church is “unity.” Author and speaker Carey Nieuwhof said this about our resources: “How do you find common ground in a deeply divided culture? Zach Zehnder’s focus on the words and habits of Jesus have unified churches and people in a deeply needed way. Taking your church through a 40-day challenge might be the best thing you can do right now. Culture divides. Christ unites.”

Our 40-day challenges bring unity not only because they focus on Jesus but also because we have materials for every age group, even kids. Our belief is that kids not only have what it takes to follow Jesus, but they can be, and many already are incredible followers of Jesus. Not only will you unify every age group, but you will also unify your weekend worship experiences both digital and in person. On top of that, you will also feel unity during the week Monday-Saturday as your people are reading and challenging themselves together.

3. Our 40-Day Challenges Bring Opportunity for Self-Examination!

In Lent, not only are we taught to look to Jesus and remember what He’s done for us, but we are also taught to examine ourselves. In light of what Jesus did, we look at our own lives and remember why Jesus had to sacrifice His life for us in the first place. We needed the death and resurrection of Jesus to fully pay for our own sins.

In self-examination, we confess our sin to receive His grace. It is His grace and His kindness that ultimately leads us to life change. It is not out of obligation, but rather through His grace that we are compelled to want to be the greatest followers of Jesus that we can be. Looking at Jesus first and foremost, we ensure that following after Him comes from the right motive. We do not desire to follow Jesus well because we have to; we do it because we want to. We do it in response to how good our God has been to each one of us.

The challenges lend time each day for self-examination. The workbooks are written in a way for people to write, journal, draw, and scribble their thoughts. It also has weekly small group materials (videos and study guides) so that individuals can come together, learn, and grow with one another.

4. Our 40-Day Challenges Inspire Action!

At its root, disciples are both hearers and doers of God’s Word. While many discipleship resources thrive in helping us be better “hearers,” we have seen incredible results by simply challenging people to take what they “hear” and “do” something about it. It’s this rhythm of hearing and doing that we believe is imperative for all followers of Jesus to get right.

In the Lenten season, traditionally, many churchgoers practice “giving up” something or fasting for Lent. But I’ve noticed that as good as that practice can be, if you don’t replace it or “pick up” something new, most will go back to what they’ve done in the past. So, for example, if you give up soda for 40 days, that’s great, but what about after the 40 days are over? Pop another Coke bottle?

Is that really the life change that pastors want for their people? Red Letter Challenge, Being Challenge, and Forgiving Challenge encourage people to “pick up” the habit of putting Christ’s words and patterns into practice. Is there anything more valuable?

5. Our 40-Day Challenges are Turnkey for Your Whole Staff!

Easter is the most significant and most incredible celebration of the church year! By implementing a 40-day turnkey challenge to your church before Easter, this will allow you and your staff the opportunity to go all-in on your Easter celebration. It’s easy to go all-in on your Easter experience when you know you will have the extra time because you’ve got the 40 days leading up to this BIG day done for you already.

Included in our 40-day challenges are all of these materials for FREE: Small Group Guides, Small Group Videos, Sermon Manuscripts, Sermon Videos, Weekly Kids Curriculum, Graphics Package, etc. We’ve tried to make this as turnkey as possible so that you can have the confidence of a tremendous 40-day experience and put total effort into strategic celebration Sundays like Easter.

Bonus Reason: It’s always fun to be a part of something BIG.

Join a movement with literally thousands of other Lutherans across the world, and let’s see what God will do as we take His words and habits into a world that so desperately needs more Jesus!

Next Steps: Timeline, How to Join, and Where to Learn More?

We’d love for your LCMS church to be a part of this worldwide 40-day challenge launch. After a few years of studying best practices, we recommend kicking off your 2022 Lenten 40-day challenge by preaching the introduction to the series on Sunday, February 27th. You would then start Day 1 readings on Tuesday, March 1st. This means your Day 40 reading will end on Saturday, April 9th. Then, you can either choose to use Sunday, April 10th to recap, share stories, forecast a vision of continuing to put Jesus’ words into practice, etc., or do regular Palm Sunday services leading into your Easter celebration the following Sunday, April 17th.

To have the best 40-day experience, it’s important to get materials to you as quickly as possible. Therefore, we have a small window left to do this well. We are offering incentives to sign up early. Our church packs are ready to go and discounted 10-40% off. For those who order before December 15th, you’ll get an extra 10% off those discounts, or those who order by January 15th, you can get an additional 5% off those discounts. We want to ensure you have ample time to promote and distribute your materials. Email us at hello@redletterchallenge.com for more information or if you have any questions.

Finally, suppose you still have questions on how to implement, how to launch small groups with these challenges, how to include kids and student ministry, promotion, distribution. In that case, we have a series of short videos at this link to help.

And if you already have plans for Lent or a 40-day challenge fits better into your calendar in a different season, do not fret! A couple of other strategic times to launch a 40-day challenge are the 40 days after Easter Sunday and Fall.

I want to see your congregation thrive, and I believe this has the opportunity to be the best Lent season of all time for our denomination.

The post Launching an LCMS Denomination 40-Day Challenge on February 27th – Is Your Church in Yet? appeared first on Red Letter Living.

Preparing our Hearts in All Kinds of Weather

For our 15th anniversary, Zach and I booked a 5-day, 4-night hiking tour of the Grand Canyon with some friends. We asked one of our guides what they do when bad weather happens, and his answer was one I’ve never forgotten.

“There’s no such thing as bad weather,” he answered. “Only unprepared people.”

His answer stuck with me, not only regarding my attitude about the weather in general but also about my faith. Perhaps our attitudes about church are more a reflection of our hearts and less a reflection of worship itself. If I don’t like something I hear or if someone rubs me the wrong way, could that be that I have spent little to no time preparing myself for worship?

Getting oneself ready for worship was a norm for the Israelite people. When God gave the Law in Exodus 19, He called the people to prepare to come into His presence.

“Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their clothes. And let them be ready for the third day. For on the third day the LORD will come down upon Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people'” (Ex. 19:10–11).

God wanted the people of Israel, before they came near to Him, to get ready to come near to Him, to prepare themselves for an encounter with Him. God gave Israel two days to prepare. He required them to do ritual cleansing and wash their clothes. It doesn’t sound like a big deal now to us, but this was more than a Tide Pod and throwing some clothes in a machine. In ancient Egypt, the hieroglyphic symbol for washing clothes was two legs in water, which meant that at the time, laundry was mostly done by stamping on the clothes in the water. Talk about hard work!

To get yourselves clean, you had to do some intense stomping on your clothes.

 

As we enter into a season of Advent, a season of waiting and getting our hearts prepared, I can’t help feeling that I’m missing it before it even begins. Life around the holidays can get hectic. Pressures, schedules, to-do lists, and deadlines creep up, and the quicker things come, the harder I run. So I’m stomping alright, but it’s not always on the right stuff.

To properly come to worship each Sunday, we all need to spend time stomping on our sins. To be prepared for Christmas, we need Advent to prepare our hearts by cleansing our minds and crushing out our sin.

That all sounds great. Except that I still don’t do it. Life gets busy. And rather than feeling like I am crushing my sin, it feels more like my sin is crushing me. That crushing feeling gets me off my feet and on my knees. In that posture, I am able to see better what God is busy doing. Romans 16:20 says,

“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.”

God of peace.
Grace of our Lord Jesus.

Jesus didn’t wait for just the right conditions to come to earth. An insane dictator was murdering all babies under three when he was a baby. He didn’t wait to study in the synagogue until his parents understood what was going on; they were confused and hurt. He didn’t plot the beginning of His ministry to begin at the perfect time. The Jewish teachers wanted nothing to do with Him. He didn’t look for the greatest and the best to be His followers. He chose simple fishermen.

Jesus didn’t wait until the conditions were favorable for Him before He came to save us. He came despite the confusion and even hatred for what He was trying to do. He came. And it would cost Him everything.

He spent all He had so that He could have you and me.

As we prepare our hearts and minds for the coming Advent season, don’t wait for favorable conditions. The laundry might not be done. The baby won’t nap. The presents might not all be wrapped. There may be no hot cocoa waiting. The kids might not be coming home this year. But come anyway.

There’s no bad weather that will keep you away from Jesus today. Know that your sin has been stamped away by the Perfect Savior of the world. He has done the preparation for you. You need only to come.

Come and rest in the peace of God.

The post Preparing our Hearts in All Kinds of Weather appeared first on Red Letter Living.

How Do I Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry?

I spent much of my childhood years growing up in Nebraska. I moved to Nebraska in the mid-1990s and got to experience the Nebraska Huskers football program win three national championships within my first four years. While the past two decades haven’t been as kind, the history of this program is ridiculous. It has 905 total wins, making it the 7th most of any program. ESPN’s College GameDay analysts call the Husker fanbase the best in the nation, citing their loyalty, sportsmanship, and knowledge. They have the current and still ongoing record of 375 consecutive sellouts. On game days, the attendance in Memorial Stadium would make it the 3rd largest populated city in the entire state.

 

Much of the success or failure of a college football team falls on the coach. For over 36 years, Nebraska was fortunate to have two Hall-of-Fame coaches: Bob Devaney and Tom Osborne. However, when Tom Osborne left the coaching position in 1997, the program has never quite bounced back to the prominence that it once had. Since 1997 it’s had six different head coaches.

 

The other day, I ran into a fan that didn’t care for one of those coaches. She believed that his tenure put the football program back many years, and because of how vital the program is to not only the state but her personally, I remember hearing the words out of her mouth, “I will never be able to forgive coach’s name.” I know her well enough to know that while she wasn’t 100% serious that there was a tinge of truth in it.

 

Her phrase got me thinking. If she is holding unforgiveness, who is that still affecting? It’s not affecting the coach. The former coach doesn’t even know who my friend is. He has already found another job and moved on. For various reasons, I can guarantee you, the coach will never say the words “I’m sorry” to my friend.

 

While this is a silly example, it points to a reality that we will deal with in this world. Sometimes there have been wrongs done to us or that have affected us from a person we will never hear a word of confession from or experience any act of contrition on their part.

 

As we have detailed already, every sin is unique. Therefore, every act of forgiveness will be unique. On Day 6, we referenced how unwise it is for Christians to hold non-Christians to the standards of the Christian faith. While we wish that every person would sign up to follow Jesus, it’s not the reality. Therefore, because we have a different worldview, we will not agree on whether a particular action or inaction is even a sin. There are some offenses done against us that we think were sinful that others will disagree with.

 

Jesus reminds us that because we are His followers, we do not operate with the same standards of those in this world, when He says in John 18:36 NLT, “My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.”

 

What do we do when our offender isn’t sorry?

 

The Christian faith is about trusting God. Sometimes this trust in God means doing what He’s called us to do no matter the outcome. It’s why we preach the Gospel and proclaim the Good News even though not all will receive it. It’s why in faith, we proclaim healing in a person’s life even if we don’t see the healing result. It’s why we pray even when we don’t see God move. And it’s why we choose to forgive others in all circumstances.

 

Here’s the truth about following God: Obedience is our responsibility. Outcome is God’s responsibility.

 

Let’s return to the words of the Apostle Paul in Romans 12:18: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 

 

Paul is declaring that we are to do as much as we can and go as far as possible to pursue peace and reconciliation. There are times, though, when even in doing as much as you can and going as far as you can, it still will not change or affect the person on the receiving end.

 

There are times when it simply isn’t possible to live at peace with everyone. For example, situations where abuse, molestation, and violence are occurring are times when it’s impossible to live at peace. Situations like these require wisdom from God. Many times, this wisdom results in putting up healthy boundaries to protect the innocent and defenseless.

 

You can’t control the actions, feelings, or emotions of others. But you can control your response. Remember, forgiveness is not about controlling the other person the way that you want them to; forgiveness is about you letting go of the offense, no matter how your offender responds.

 

My wife Allison shared an incredible story related to this truth in Forgiving Challenge Kids.

 

Anthony Ray Hinton was convicted of a murder he never committed and was put on Death Row. Anthony sat in silence and misery. He hated his life and was angry. But after three years, he accepted that this was going to be his life. He decided that as long as he was on Death Row, he would find a new way to live.

 

Anthony was wronged by many in this process. And, sadly, the system and the people involved in the system who wronged him wouldn’t listen. They wouldn’t change. Long before he got out of prison, he decided that he would change his own life despite their response. He chose to bring happiness to others, remembering that God loves and forgives him. 

 

According to Anthony’s book, The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row, he faced the jury during his trial and told them, “Jesus was prosecuted, accused falsely for things he didn’t do, and all he did was try to love and save this world, and he died and suffered. So if I have to die for something I didn’t do, so be it. My life is not in the judge’s hands. My life is not in your hands, but it’s in God’s hands.”

 

Anthony not only changed his own life, but he worked to improve the lives of 54 other inmates around him who were also on Death Row.  

 

Twenty-eight years later, in 2015, justice finally came late. Anthony was found innocent.

 

Anthony could have been very bitter when he got out of prison. After all, he spent 28 years in jail for something he never did! But, instead, he would continue to forgive the people who falsely accused him. Incredible! He could only forgive because he knew Jesus had forgiven him.

 

Jesus set him free long before the courts did. 

 

When we hold onto unforgiveness, we will continue to live in bondage. The sins of others against us can hurt us at the time of the offense and continue to bring harm to us when we choose not to forgive. Anthony’s story shows us that we can experience freedom when we let go of the offenses of others.

 

When others don’t see their wrong, don’t understand your perspective, or simply can’t or won’t ever admit their fault, trust that Jesus sees you. He knows you’ve been wronged. He empathizes with you. Even if injustices against you never get settled in this world, trust in God’s justice. Know that you will be greatly rewarded in heaven for any offenses that you forgive in this world.

 

Challenge for the Day:

 

Have offenses been done against you that you feel like your offender will never admit their fault? If so, list the sins and offenses below.

 

Have you done everything you can possibly do to live at peace with each of these offenders?

 

If not, what could you do?

 

Are you living with peace with all of your offenders?

 

If not, say this prayer today:

 

Dear Jesus, I am sorry for all of my sins. Those of which I know. Those of which I don’t even know. I receive your forgiveness for all my sins. I am a sinner. You are my Savior. Out of the grace you have won for me, I choose today not to let the sins of others hold me back any longer. I am letting go of the offense. No matter how my offender responds, I am letting go. As I let go of this offense, hold me ever tight. Help me live in the freedom that you have won for me. Amen.

This blog was adapted from the eBook Forgiving Others Challenge coming out in November 2021.

The post How Do I Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry? appeared first on Red Letter Living.

Why Forgiving Yourself Will Always Lead to a Dead End

Today we are celebrating my new book Forgiving Challenge and its companion written by my wife Forgiving Challenge Kids is officially released and available for purchase. I’ve written a series of blogs over the past days to help you understand what God’s freedom is all about. In today’s blog I wanted to not only share more of my heart behind this project, but also help you understand more about how to forgive yourself.

Do you struggle to forgive yourself?

Even if you do, you can still be fully free!

Over the last year I’ve been heavy into researching, writing, revising, and editing Forgiving Challenge. In doing research before writing, one of the questions I solicited feedback from my social media friends was in this question:

“Is it harder to forgive yourself or others.  Explain.”

Almost unanimously, the results came back that it was harder to forgive themselves than to forgive others.  As people explained their answers, much dialogue ensued.  One of the responses really stuck out to me:

“Is forgiving yourself even a biblical principle? How important is self-forgiveness after all?”

A lot of the focus in this world is in our ability and need to forgive others.  Especially in light of all of the injustices going on in our world today, many Christians are calling for reconciliation to take place.  I’m in full agreement.  Except for one major problem.  If the majority of Christians are still struggling with forgiveness in their own lives, then how in the world, are they going to be able to forgive one another.

It’s always really hard to offer freedom to others when we are still speaking words of condemnation over ourselves.

For real reconciliation to happen, we need to bring two free parties, not two broken parties, to the table.  So how does one become free?  Is it through self-forgiveness?

Let’s explore three truths about self-forgiveness that will ultimately lead you to more freedom than you ever thought possible.

Self-forgiveness is biblical.

My first response to big theological questions like “Is forgiving yourself even a biblical principle,” is to look at what Jesus said.  But what about when Jesus never said anything?!  Not only did Jesus never use the phrase “forgive myself” or “forgive yourself,” but nowhere in the Bible do we see these words together.

What do we see in the words of Jesus?  All throughout the Gospels, Jesus is asking, calling, encouraging, and even commanding His followers to receive His forgiveness and also to forgive others.  Here’s a few instances:

In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus says, we are to pray these words: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” In teaching the disciples, Jesus said: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”  In directly addressing Peter: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  

What do we make of all of this?

Often times when Jesus speaks of forgiving others He makes the direct correlation to first receiving God’s forgiveness.  It’s hard, if not impossible to forgive others without first receiving God’s forgiveness for ourselves.  Forgiven people become forgiving people.

One time, Jesus summed up the greatest commandment to loving God with all that we have.  Then he said the second greatest commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

Notice, Jesus didn’t say to love your neighbor at the expense of loving yourself.  He said to love your neighbor as you love yourself.  If the way you are “loving yourself” is by withholding forgiveness to yourself, then at best you will offer a broken-down, mediocre version of love to others.

The first step in truly loving your neighbor as yourself is to receive the grace of Jesus for yourself.  If we struggle to forgive others, the root of it likely is that we struggle to grasp God’s forgiveness for ourselves.

Not only does Jesus call us to love our neighbors as ourselves, but He takes it a step a further: But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Jesus calls us to forgive “others,” to love our “neighbors,” and even to love our “enemies.  But here’s the truth.  You are in fact included in “others.”  You are actually the closest “neighbor” you have.  And for many, you are your own worst “enemy.”

Sometimes the other, the neighbor, and the enemy that most needs forgiveness is yourself.

Therefore, even though the phrase “forgive myself” is not found in the Bible, it is a biblical principle because Jesus is all about the total forgiveness of all of mankind, and you are included in that. 

You struggle to forgive yourself because you are still a sinner.

If self-forgiveness is a biblical principle, then why can’t I forgive myself?

Even after having your sins wiped clean, fully paid, reconciled, and declared forgiven, we still live in a world where we miss the mark.  We may claim to be following Jesus as our Lord, but sin is still lurking all around us, and, sadly, we still give into those temptations often.   And one of the ways we still miss the mark today is when we refuse to issue forgiveness.

When you refuse to forgive anyone, including yourself, you are simply adding sin upon sin.

The two most common types of sin in unforgiveness are pride and unbelief.

Pride comes into the equation when you place yourself in a higher category than Jesus.  The phrase often said “I know Jesus forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself,” is laced with pride.  Do you really think that your own forgiveness is the ultimate forgiveness you can attain?  Do you place your own declaration of forgiveness higher than Jesus’s declaration of forgiveness for you?  Pride places you at a level you were never meant to be.  You need to lower your estimation of yourself.  Being able to forgive yourself is an important and valuable moment, but it is not near as important as the forgiveness that God’s one and only Son Jesus gives to you!

C.S. Lewis says, “I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves.  Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him.”

Unbelief comes through statements like this: “Jesus might be able forgive someone like them, but He can’t forgive what I’ve done.”  Do you think that your sin is in a special category of sins?  Are their certain types of sin that Jesus didn’t pay for at the cross?  The reality is that Jesus paid in full for all sins for all people for all time, including yours.  Being unable to forgive your own sin is to express an unbelief in the sacrifice, death, and resurrection that brought about the total defeat of sin that Jesus won for all of us!

Have you done stupid things?  Yes.

Did you let Jesus down?  Yes.

If you are honest, did you even let yourself down?  Yes.

Do you believe that Jesus has forgiven you?  Yes or No?

Ask it again but make it personal this time:

Do I believe that Jesus has forgiven me?  Yes or No?

If you do, then why are you still making yourself pay for your sin?  Why are you rejecting God’s forgiveness over your life?   Why are you buying into the lie that your sin(s) isn’t covered?

The real reason you can’t forgive yourself fully is because you are still involved in the process.  And whenever you are involved, no offense, but it won’t be perfect.  And that’s okay because God has enough grace to cover up your mess up.

Finding freedom in self-forgiveness will always lead to a dead end.

We should always be generous in our efforts to speak God’s grace over our own lives.  But, until Jesus comes back, while we can grow in the area of self-forgiveness, we will never fully, once-for-all-time master self-forgiveness.  You can have good days, months, or seasons, but you might also have a day, month, or season that’s not so good.

Thankfully, this doesn’t stop you from being fully free in this world.

Your freedom isn’t based on what you do or don’t do, it’s based on what Jesus has already done!

Jesus has forgiven you. Your freedom does not come from self-forgiveness; an act that you do.  Freedom comes from God’s forgiveness.  Self-forgiveness is a noble pursuit but it ought never be the end goal or it will always lead to a dead end.

Don’t hear me wrong.  You can improve.  You can be more loving and gracious.  Humility can start to overtake pride.  Confidence and certainty can take over for unbelief and doubt.  All of these things are possible.  But when you have a bad moment of unforgiveness trust that even that moment is still covered by God’s grace.  And keep moving.

It is God’s grace, not your perfection, that allows you to be free.

The great civil activist Maya Angelou was almost right when she said, “Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself.”  Far more important than your forgiveness is God’s forgiveness for you.  Forgiveness is the greatest gift that God can give you.

Whenever you place the emphasis on yourself for your own freedom you will never be free.

Self-forgiveness is a noble pursuit.  An even nobler pursuit is God’s forgiveness, and the amazing thing about this pursuit is that it’s already done.

Romans 5:8: But God demonstrated His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Total freedom is available.  It’s just not available through you.  It’s available only through Jesus.

Give up on the idea of waiting to be free until you are able to fully, once-for-all-time forgive yourself.  Stop beating yourself up by not being able to perfectly forgive yourself and simply receive this beautiful gift of grace God is wanting you to have today.  When you are struggling to forgive yourself, cut yourself some slack.  Give yourself some grace.  Remind yourself that your freedom isn’t in your own forgiveness, but in God’s that has already been given to you.  Trust that when you can’t fully forgive yourself, someone else already has.  His name is Jesus, and ultimately, He is the one that came to offer a fully free, abundant life!

I hope you enjoyed today’s blog as well as the series of blogs dropped daily on forgiveness.

Remember, Forgiving Challenge and Forgiving Challenge Kids is available to order today! Blessings!

The post Why Forgiving Yourself Will Always Lead to a Dead End appeared first on Red Letter Living.

This One Thing Stops So Many From Truly Being Free

Tomorrow my new book Forgiving Challenge and its companion written by my wife Forgiving Challenge Kids will officially be released for sale! The book is organized through an acronym SCARS (Sin, Confession, Absolution, Restoration, Sanctification) that helps us on our journey to freedom. In anticipation of this launch, we’ll drop a blog each day around each of these concepts.

Today’s blog helps us understand more about the process of sanctification that God invites us into!

Despite Jesus offering freedom to all, there are many who aren’t experiencing the full, free, and abundant life that we so often quote is available to us.  Sadly, many of those unfree people even claim to be believers in Jesus.  Why is this?

How do we live with the freedom that Jesus has won for us?

When I think of freedom I think of ascending to the peak of a mountain.  If our walk with God is like a long climb (isn’t that what it feels like at times?), there are different phases that we go through before we reach the top.  It’s not always straight and easy to the peak. Sometimes we ascend quickly, sometimes we fall down, and other times it feels like we are just going through switchbacks.  So how do we ascend to the top and experience freedom?
I believe it’s found in the 5 forgiving phases summed up with the acronym SCARS.

SinConfessionAbsolutionRestorationSanctification

Let’s continue the analogy of the climb to see how this plays out in our lives.

Sin

It is difficult to get to the top of Freedom Mountain. You spent a lot of time training for this climb and now you’re mustering up as much strength as you can to begin. However, you are shocked as you struggle to take even a single, solitary step in the right direction. As you try to navigate your way to the top, you stumble and fall. You keep veering down paths you were never intended to follow. Your errors begin multiplying, and now an already difficult climb is becoming impossible. Every error adds heavy baggage to the climb, and you are exhausted. For some reason, even if you can’t rationalize it, you feel the need to keep holding on to the baggage. Now, it takes everything inside of you to attempt a single step. Eventually, you crash. The climb is over. You’ve failed.

Confession

You admit that there is no way to get to the top on your own. You confess that the mountain is too big, and you are too weak. Your journey is over. A deep sadness comes over you. But in your sorrow, another man suddenly comes down the mountain and finds you lying there. He’s got some exciting news to share with you. He asks you to follow Him. He lifts you up, leads you around a bend, and shows you a new path.

There’s something unique about this man, even if you can’t explain it. He claims this path will lead all the way to the top. But as you examine the path, it doesn’t appear all that impressive. It certainly doesn’t look appealing. It’s rather narrow. Nobody would choose this path on their own. You wouldn’t even know how to find it if it hadn’t been shown to you. You remind Him that even if the pathway leads to the top, you can’t get there. Your bags weigh far too much. You do your best to describe what is in each and every bag. But you’ve forgotten what is in some bags, while you remember only small details about other bags. As sorrow comes over you, the man shows great kindness. Nothing about the bags that you are describing seems to faze this man.

Absolution

The man then offers to carry your bags for you. Honestly, you can use the break. They have been weighing you down, and you are ready to release them. As He reaches for your first bag, you notice a nasty scar in the middle of His hand. He picks up your first bag, then your second, your third. You lose count, and honestly you didn’t even realize how many bags you were carrying. Pretty soon, He has picked them all up. At first you were impressed by this man’s kindness, but now you’re staggered by His amazing strength. You would have never guessed by looking at Him that He could be so strong. The bags felt like bricks to you, but He throws them over His shoulders like bags of feathers. How is this possible? Surely this man will eventually tire, but it certainly doesn’t look like it anytime soon.

Restoration

This man walks with strength, and there’s a joy in His steps. He never once complains about the weight of your bags or makes you feel guilty about having to carry them. Instead, He talks on and on about how excited He is for you to join Him at the top. He assures you it’s a view that you’ve never seen before. When you get thirsty, He asks for your empty water bottle, taps on a rock, and somehow water flows from the stone, filling the bottle. What in the world!? As you drink, this fresh water tastes like no other water you’ve ever had before! Somehow, even though you just chugged a full bottle, not a drop is gone. It’s still filled to the brim. This makes no sense.

There’s only a short distance left until you get to the top. The last steps are difficult, so you’ll need some nourishment to sustain you. The man starts a fire and begins cooking over this open flame. Soon, you’re eating the best fish you’ve ever had in your life. But where in the world did He get this fish from? After eating, He calls you to follow Him again. With every step up the mountain, He is more and more giddy. He’s so excited you are with Him.

Sanctification

You are almost to the top. The man runs ahead to ensure that everything is in order for you when you reach the top. But just as He leaves, you notice how steep and dangerous this last step truly is. If you don’t land the step well, it would have severe consequences. Because of the high grade, you can’t fully see what’s on the other side of the mountain. Doubt and fear begin to creep in. You wonder if the view is even worth it. You’re reminded that the path He led you on didn’t look that impressive. Maybe this view won’t be impressive either. Besides, you have made it up pretty far and can see some cool things where you are. Taking this final step would require great courage. Do you really have what it takes? In the midst of your doubts and fears, He shows up again. He can sense your nervousness, so He offers to take the step with you. He reaches His other hand out to you, and you see a similar scar on this hand as well. He invites you to take this nail-scarred hand and take the final step with Him.

Will you take the last step?

I hope you would say, “Yes!”

And yet, can you believe it, this is the step that keeps so many from total freedom.

In the above illustration, as in life, there are several exit points that you can take on your journey to be free. The earliest exit point is when you commit a sin. If you refuse to bring your sin to God, you will never be free. The next exit point is refusing to believe God paid the price for your sin. Another exit point is refusing to believe that God fully restores you.  At any point, any of these refusals will only lead to more bondage.

The final exit point, however, is the saddest for me. It’s where I see so many leave the journey. What a tragedy that one can be so close to freedom, and yet they don’t experience it because they were one step short. Jesus didn’t do all that He did for you so that you stop short anywhere. Jesus stepped down so that you would step up with Him.

True freedom doesn’t happen until you step up into the freedom God has won for you and wants for you. This process of stepping into freedom is called sanctification.

The definition of sanctification is the process of being freed from sin. Other definitions of sanctification are to be holy, or set apart, but the ultimate purpose is to be free. It’s when we live a holy and set-apart life that we are truly free.

With sanctification, we participate in this process with God’s Holy Spirit inside of us. We cooperate with God in sanctification. However, the devil knows that the best place to attack us on our journey to freedom are the places where you and I are the most involved. He will throw everything that He can against us in this last and final step. This, by the way, is why so many leave the journey of freedom here.

In fact, Satan will make this last step seem impossible. But remember the Good News. God has called you to ascend to the mountaintop, and you can rest assured that He’s given you everything you need to make it all the way up. The God who was with you after you fell taking the first step is still with you as you take the last step. Come, and ascend to the top of Freedom Mountain.

My question to you again is: “Will you take the last step?”

Will you be free?

The post This One Thing Stops So Many From Truly Being Free appeared first on Red Letter Living.