Lloyd Mullins's Blog, page 2

The Latest Review of My Novel!

Hey all! Just wanted to take a minute to post a copy of the latest review of my historical novel To Be Free: The Life and Times of Nate Luck. The review is from the Historical Fiction Company, and has given my novel 5 stars and the HFC “Highly Recommended” medal!

Now, I don’t know if that’s going to impress anyone in the publishing industry, but I’ll take it! Feeling pretty stoked this morning. I also want to take a minute to thank all the folks who helped me get this turkey written: my brother David, my sister Sharon, my cousin Ross, Dave McCoy, Andy Miller, Judy Jennings, Beth Slattery, and all the others who gave me very valuable feedback and encouragement, my MFA committee – Brian Roley, Margaret Luongo, and TaraShea Nesbitt, and the folks who were in the program with me. Couldn’t have done it without all of you, so THANKS!

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the review:

To Be Free Review

To be Free is a biographical novel about Nate Luck, a Russian of Mongolian descent who immigrated to the United States in the 19th century. Luck’s Russian name was Anatoly Mikhailovich Lukyanov. The novel begins with his childhood in Russia, follows him through his journey across the Pacific, his time as a cowhand and Civil War soldier, his joining Native American tribes, and a legal officer. It opens with an editor’s note, which states one of the book’s most interesting features. Lloyd Mullens, the author, explains that he discovered Lukyanov/Lake’s unpublished memoir manuscript within a trunk his friend purchased. Mr. Mullens then says that he left most of the memoir intact, primarily editing the language common in the 19th century but offensive in the 21st. Other clues imply a modern hand had a larger role in shaping this novel. It contains direct, post-Hemingway prose that would have been uncommon for a writer in the 1890s. It also has an extensive bibliography of sources at the back, and most of all, contains modern conceptions about marginalized communities. For example, here is a quote from Esme, one of Luck’s primary love interests, about relying on men:

“There’s not a woman in this world that’s safe, and a woman who counts on a man to make her feel safe is a fool. Besides, anything I can’t handle with this, Samson’ll take care of.”

Samson was Esme’s pimp/club owner. Similarly, here’s a quote from a Native American chief justifying his people’s actions against white American encroachment:

“Enough!” Wolf Chief who interrupted, “You call us savages! We fight yes, to protect what is ours! Who wouldn’t? But you ve’ho’e who come here to take everything and leave us nothing — you call yourselves civilized! You bring nothing but disease and death and destruction, and all in the name of your Jesus Christ.

“I was there,” he continued, “when your soldier chief Eayre attacked our village at Ash Creek. Lean Bear rode out to greet them with your president’s paper in his hand, your president’s medal on his chest. ‘Don’t be afraid!’ he told us, ‘The soldiers are our friends.’ The soldiers shot him down and kept shooting his body as they rode over it.”

All of these elements lead To be Free to read like a modern composition. If the Editor’s Note is accurate, and the document was minimally edited, Mr. Mullens made a remarkable find and readers of biographical fiction have an exciting new entry into the genre. Like some other biographical novels, To Be Free acts as a fictional memoir. Unlike some of those contemporaries, (such as Marguerite Yourcenar’s Memoirs of Hadrian) it reads more like a first person novel than a memoir. The novel is largely dialogue driven, much of it excellently written, and each character possesses a unique voice.

The novel’s main theme is finding a place in American society as an outsider. Lukyanov flees Russia under the threat of violence and holds an idealistic view of the US, largely due to his Enlightenment-infused father. He quickly learns that his Asian features result in discrimination from his new countrymen, his first step toward cynicism. His Enlightenment views lead him to critique America’s hypocrisy on slavery, including this interesting exchange about American slavery and Russian serfdom:

Dave sat deep in thought for a while and then said, “You Russians sure done us one better.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well here at least, a slave’s free when he dies. You boys have figured out how to keep him in chains and make money off him even when he’s dead.”

Much of the plot also deals with US-Native relations, which contributes to Lukyanov/Lake’s disenchantment with his adopted country. He lives among them multiple times, once infiltrating a tribe as part of an Army assignment and once joining from genuine choice. Each time culminates in witnessing the Army’s brutality toward Natives. Lake’s outsider perspective allows him to see 19th century America more objectively than its natural-born citizens. By the novel’s end, he views much of American society as a corrupt sham, and no longer blames his enemies for their behavior, but society’s incentives. The end result is a tragedy of sorts. This means that To be Free shares themes with two of America’s greatest artistic works, The Godfather and The Great Gatsby. The first implied that assimilating into mainstream American society was impossible, the second made a similar statement about fulfilling the American dream. Lake’s commentary fits along similar lines.

Most stories prioritize either their plot or their characters. Biographical fiction generally falls into the latter camp, with much of the genre serving as character studies for their respective subjects. To Be Free does an unusually good job at balancing both. Its adventurous plot of voyage, cowboys, wars, Native Americans, love, rivalry, and corruption will keep most readers hooked through what is admittedly a long narrative. But Lake discusses his view of himself and the world, building a compelling psychological portrait. He discusses his support for the Enlightenment, his love of novels, his skills at language and in horseback riding, and his thoughts on Manifest Destiny, on killing during war, and on what makes a good life. Each chapter opens with a fragment about its theme, which is a nice touch and gives additional insight into Lake’s mind and beliefs. One of this reviewer’s favorite quotes was the following:

It was funny, but then I thought about “Blessed are the peacemakers.” In my experience, all too often, the peacemakers pay the price for all of us. Look at Jesus. Or Black Kettle. The world would be a whole lot better off if we’d listen to men like them rather than kill them because they’re inconvenient.

Side characters, such as Esme, a love interest, and Bill Morrow, Lake’s rival, also receive thoughtful character analysis that produces important character arcs. The romantic and conflict driven plot-lines help ensure a well-rounded narrative that will appeal to most readers.

In conclusion, To Be Free balances the different aspects of storytelling better than most novels. It contains an exciting plot and thoughtful characters, good dialogue and descriptions, conflict and romance, social commentary that is forward looking and doesn’t overwhelm the narrative, and even functions as both a biographical novel and a memoir. It is highly recommended for fans of creative nonfiction (biographical fiction) and westerns.

“To Be Free” by Lloyd Mullins receives five stars and the “Highly Recommended” award of excellence from The Historical Fiction Company

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Today, My Inner Narcissist is a Happy Camper: Tomorrow, a Return to Despair

I’ve often thought that there is a certain degree of narcissism present in anyone’s decision to become any kind of artist. Just having the idea that I’ve got something to say, and I want as many people to hear it as possible, because it’s important to me and should be important to them too, strikes me as arrogant at the very least – of course in my case, it’s a charmingly self-deprecating sort of arrogance.

It is, however, really difficult to maintain that narcissism/arrogance/healthy self-confidence once you start sending your work out into the public. Take me for example – I spent waaaay too much money on research (I’m going to have to sell a lot of books just to pay for the books I bought to write my book*), and two years of my life thinking and writing and editing and rewriting and re-editing and so on, until I thought, “That’s it! That’s exactly what I want to say, and said as well as I can say it!” Then I started shopping my new baby around to agents and publishers, visions of accolades, best-seller lists, and movie deals in your head. “Hahahahahahahahahaha!” I thought (charmingly and humbly, of course), “This’ll show those naysayers who said I was dreaming/wasting my time!”

So I sent out a shitload of query letters and waited for the offers to start rolling in, for the agents to start slugging it out over representing me and my modest little book: “What? All this fuss over little ol’ moi?”

Except that’s not what happened. Responses start trickling in, but they’re all rejections – as of this writing, I’m up to 67 rejections from agents, with only a couple of tiny nibbles of interests. They’re almost all really, really nice, but still . . . I haven’t faced this much rejection since before I met the lovely and talented Jess . . . I’d kind of forgotten how much it stings.

It really gets kind of demoralizing but every once in a while, something happens that gives me hope. A few weeks ago, I learned that Frontier Tales wants to publish a chapter of my novel, which was a huge boost.

Last week, I entered my book in a Cinematic Novel contest. I broke down and paid an extra fee to get some feedback. I wasn’t hoping for much – after all, I’d sent my first novel, Thumperica, to Kirkus Reviews for an obscene (to me anyway) amount of money, and they trashed it. What made it even worse was that the reviewer clearly only read roughly the first half of the book (but at least I’m not bitter).

Anyway, today, I got the feedback from the contest. Here’s what the contest person had to say (by the way, IP stands for Intellectual Property – I’m guessing that by an “existent IP” they mean a character or story that is out in the world now, i.e. a franchise sort of character):

*****

Feedback (Cinematic Book)
TO BE FREE tells the action-packed, vivid story of Nate Luck, a Russian-Buriat immigrant to
America during the heyday of the “wild west.” As a rancher, a soldier, and a father, he transforms
effectively from a starry-eyed, adventure-craving idealist to a disillusioned but still principled
American in every sense of the word. The characters, plot and structure are all there to make this
a dynamic feature or limited series, and the storytelling should be noted as a standout. The
primary obstacle to adapting this work to the screen will be that it’s not based on existent IP, and
as a period piece may be expensive to produce.

One of the primary elements studios and streamers look for in adapting material is character, and
that is an area where this book really shines. Nate Luck is a captivating protagonist, driving the
action forward with his impulsive love of life, fighting spirit, as well as sunshiny optimism. Whether
he’s defending someone outside a brothel or battling the love of his life, Esme, the plot hinges on
his action and his character. He also is a unique protagonist in terms of his heritage, and the
specificity that brings to him navigating The West is truly wonderful. His strength as a horse-rider
due to his Mongolian grandfather and mother, his resistance to being seen as anything other than
independent, they are ripe for bumping up against this classic American setting. How he
transforms into someone who sees the cracks in the shiny marquee of The American Dream are
all the more heartbreaking for the great spirit he brings to fulfilling it.

The women characters are also refreshingly vital and active, which is all too rare in male-dominated
genres and historical stories. From the engaging way Nate’s mother is described to the feisty
Esme, there would unquestionably be desirable parts for actors of many different genders, ages,
and ethnicities. This diversity is a definite plus, but all the more so because it doesn’t feel on-the-nose,
but rather — simply — earned and factual.

Speaking of factual, the historical research would set this project apart for adaptation as well. They
add so much (seeming, at least) authenticity, whether talking about the cargo laborers traveling
on credit-tickets to the differences between the Cheyenne and the Nez Perce tribes. While at times
the line between reality and fiction is blurred, much like in the novel of The Princess Bride by
William Goldman, this only serves to plunge us deeper into the story and is effective. My only
caveat would be that some of the racial realities of the time, even if they are grounded, can be a
tough pill to swallow. For instance, Nate’s reaction to the Chinese as an “inherited prejudice” may
shut down some readers, even if he very quickly realizes the error of his ways in America.

My main word of caution is that, as the story is not based on existing IP, it will likely be more
challenging to get made. Typically, historical adaptations have had a well-known protagonist or a
connection to a specific, well-known event that can help sell the story. One thing to consider is
how Nate Luck can feel like a FORREST GUMP protagonist, traveling through many different well-known
events. Highlighting these instances structurally could perhaps help filmmakers connect
the dots. That said, this may be a challenge for the writer, no matter how well-told the story is,
particularly given the added expenses that come with any historical setting.

One quick thematic note: I really like the idea presented that, because Nate has a wealth of
memories to “draw on and remember,” that he can live as a “King of Infinite Space.” This poetic
counter to the ravenous demands of Manifest Destiny elevates the story into the arena of the best-themed Westerns, like NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, TRUE GRIT or UNFORGIVEN. Overall, this is a
highly readable story that has the action-oriented, visual elements to translate well to the screen.

*****

Yes, you read that right – it gets compared to No Country For Old Men, True Grit, and Unforgiven! Feel free to go back and double-check it; I’ve probably read that thing six or seven times since this morning. I’ve got to say, this came out waaaaay better than I expected. To be honest, I had very low expectations. I certainly didn’t hope for anything this positive, and I’m not sure how to process it. I was really expecting something that would just make me feel worse for wasting the money (lookin’ at you again, Kirkus!).

Instead, I got feedback that made me feel like they really “got” what I was going for, and that I kinda hit that nail on the head. I’ve had some wonderful friends and family who’ve given me very generous and favourable feedback but, outside of my thesis committee (who also liked it, but mostly seemed impressed by my ability to eliminate 50,000 words in a couple of weeks while keeping it a coherent narrative), there hasn’t been much in the way of outside/objective validation until now.

It’s nice to feel this way, even for a little while!

So now I’m doomed to have hope again, at least for a little while. To quote some British Sports commentator, “It’s not the despair, it’s the hope that kills you.”

Oh well, I never expected it to be easy.

*On the other hand, is money spent on books and travel ever really misspent?

The post Today, My Inner Narcissist is a Happy Camper: Tomorrow, a Return to Despair appeared first on moonsthoughts.

I’m Not Yet Abandoning All Hope – But It’s Getting Closer

The older I get, the less I understand the world or anything in it. I just spent about half an hour on the Facebook and Twitter trying to figure out how many “followers” I have – something that sounds just as stupid as it is. The idea that anyone is following me is, quite frankly, horrifying and – I’m pretty sure – one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

I do take some small comfort in the knowledge that the term “followers” does not actually denote any kind of discipleship, worship, or adoration, but is actually social media-speak for “people who are marginally interested in what I have to say OR are just “following” me in hopes I’ll reciprocate” – which would admittedly be hard to fit on a little “button” (or is it “icon”?) on a screen. I say small comfort because I’m a word guy. I like words. I hope to make a living with them. I also feel pretty strongly that they have meaning – or at least that they used to.

And why was I trying to figure out how many followers I have? Because I’m trying to find an agent or publisher for my book, and many agents/publishers want to know that stuff . In addition to how many followers I have, they want to know how active I am on social media, do I have a website, do I have a blog, etc., and how will all that fit into marketing my book, should they deign to represent/publish it.

Seriously? I thought all that marketing stuff was their job (just another thing I’m clueless about). Here I was, thinking all I had to do was spend a couple years’ worth of blood, sweat, and tears researching, writing, re-writing, workshopping, and editing my book, not to mention all the actual money I spent on research, find someone to represent or publish it, and then it was just sit back, put my feet up and wait for the checks to start flooding in.

I mean sure, I figured I might have to do some promotional stuff, like bookstore readings, interviews, talk shows, maybe walk a few red carpets (kidding. I’m stupid, but not delusional), but not actually come up with some kind of marketing strategy. I’m not anybody’s idea of a salesman. I couldn’t sell ice cubes in hell.

And that’s just on the “somebody PLEASE buy my book” front.

Employment is almost as bad. See, I had a master plan – I’d go to graduate school, get an MFA, and then I could get a job teaching at a college. Hahahahahahahaha. Sadly, there were two things I didn’t know: 1) Unless you’ve got tenure or are at least in a tenure-track position (which at my age is extremely unlikely), it is almost impossible make a living teaching at a college as an adjunct (unless you’re just phoning it it or willing to work yourself to death).

And 2) I kind of suck at teaching. I wasn’t really expecting that. I think I was probably at least adequate (marginally), but I just could not connect with the students. Naturally, I blame them. Okay, not really. At worst, it was a 50/50 split, but I think the bulk of the problem was me. At any rate, I care too much about teaching to be willing to do it badly. At my age, I think I’m too set in my ways, and don’t really have time (or the inclination) to change.

So, I’ve gone back to something I am good at: being a Writing Consultant, or Mentor, or whatever they’re calling it this week, at IU East. It’s a great job, and I’m working with great people, but it’s only part-time. Still, I’m hoping it’ll be enough for us to get by until those bestseller-level checks start pouring in.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining (well not a lot, anyway). I’ve made every decision that got me here, and honestly, I don’t know that I’d change any of them if I could. I’ve met some great people along the way, and done some cool stuff, and learned a lot of lessons (many of which weren’t even painful!). I didn’t go to college to get a job. I went to college to learn, and to grad school to get better at the thing I love, which is writing. In both cases, I feel like I succeeded.

I can’t even say I’m surprised at where I’ve ended up. Given my predilection for stubbornness, hard-headedness, and self-destructiveness, I guess I’m surprised that I’m doing as well as I am. I blame it on my wife, the lovely, talented, and long-suffering Jess. My decision to pursue her relentlessly until I wore her down and convinced her to marry me is probably the only good decision I’ve ever made, or at least the absolute best one. She really is the best.

So anyway, here I am, a wildly overeducated middle-aged man with no practical marketable skills and no real inclination to develop any, hoping to strike gold as a writer. Trust me, I know how stupid it sounds – roughly as stupid as it is – still, a dreamer’s gotta dream, right?

Besides, I figure if the writing doesn’t work out and worse comes to worst, I can always go into politics (taking up prostitution seemed like a more decent and honourable option, but I saw myself in the mirror, so that’s off the table). Looking at the clown show that our congress has turned into, I figure its the one field in which a guy like me, with no discernible talents other than bullshitting, can still really shine.

Please join me now in prayer that it doesn’t come to that (seriously, if I do get my book published, buy a copy. If not for my sake, then for the sake of the country!)

I think this would make a great author photo for the back of my book OR a great political ad. What do you think?

The post I’m Not Yet Abandoning All Hope – But It’s Getting Closer appeared first on moonsthoughts.

Info on the Upcoming Nape Na Si mission trip in June 2021

Okay folks, exciting news! We will be going to Pine Ridge this summer! The dates are June 11-20. The cost will be $300 per adult ($350 if you travel with the group). The fee covers necessities from the time we get to the Rez until we leave (except for lunch on Sunday). That means camping fees, food, fuel, and water, as well as building supplies and other necessities for the work. You are on your own to feed your own personal stuff (like my Diet Coke addiction).We do have some small construction projects to work on this year, in particular the building of 2 or 3 outhouses at the Sun Dance grounds, along with some other possible projects.

We will also be doing our usual routine: Sightseeing in the Black Hills(including Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse monument) and picking up supplies on Sunday, a trip to Wounded Knee, and devotions/exploring/climbing in the badlands one evening, along with as much other stuff as we can pack in, including hopefully a sweat and Ceremony.

If camping is beyond your limits, there are rooms/cabins to rent, but you are on your own for that expense. We plan to stay at Lakota Prairie as always, but they’re not open yet. Here’s a link to the trip advisor page so you can get some idea about the accommodations and pricing (a lot of people like to go in together on a room or cabin in order to keep the cost down – if you’re interested in doing that, this would be a good place to find folks to share with): https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g54671-d678149-Reviews-Lakota_Prairie_Ranch_Resort-Kyle_South_Dakota.html. My advice right now would be to wait until you hear from me here before you make any reservations (just in case).

REGARDING COVID CONCERNS:

I’ve spoken to several folks out there, and the tribe made a big push to get everyone vaccinated, which is awesome! However, Dave and I have decided that a Covid vaccination will be required to go on the trip. We feel it is a necessary step in order to ensure (as much as possible) not only the health of our group, but maybe even more importantly, to ensure we don’t do anything to endanger the health of our friends on the Rez. I realize this may not fit in with your plans regarding the vaccine, and there’s no judgement here. You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. It’s simply a matter of deciding which is more important to you – the trip or avoiding the vaccine. It is strictly up to you, and we’ll miss you but understand if this is a showstopper for you. I hope it won’t be.

At any rate, we’d like to get a rough count of who is planning (or hoping) to go, so if you are, please let me know in the comments below. More info will be forthcoming as necessary.

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Another Post YOU Shouldn’t Read: Independence Day Edition

Well, another July 4th has come and gone. I’m sorry to say that in the last few years I’ve looked forward to it less each year. It’s not that I don’t love my country – I do. I just think that we should be doing better. At this point, I’m gonna go out on a limb and reiterate that most of you should just stop reading now. If you don’t, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Part of my antipathy regarding the 4th comes from being the owner of a dog who is terrified by fireworks. If it was only the 4th, I could deal with it, but for the last several years, it seems like the 4th runs from mid-June to about the 10th of July. Ralph is an old dog, and we have to keep him more stoned than Cheech and Chong for about 3 weeks, Ralph doesn’t really enjoy getting out of his head – if dogs were political, Ralph would be a staunch conservative.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good fireworks display, but this yearly explodafest is just ridiculous. I mean, what’s the point? Does your willingness to blow shit up for an extended period of time somehow make you more patriotic than me? Or is it just another instance of our national conviction that more is always better (an attitude I also struggle with, particularly in regard to books and food)?

It seems to me that all this patriotism has gotten out of hand – or rather that actual patriotism is something we pay lip service to rather than actually living it. We’re big on displaying the flag. I had an old military friend who lives in Seattle tell me how he really liked how here in Indiana there are so many homes and businesses with American flags flying – apparently there’s not a lot of that where he lives.

In fact, there’s a nice big American flag, complete with solar-powered light so the flag can be seen even at night, at the end of my driveway -my driveway is on an easement, and the landowner is an old Marine. The thing is, I just don’t get it. I’ve lived overseas, and traveled quite a bit, and I don’t remember seeing anything like this flag obsession anywhere else. Everyone else in the world seems to know where they live without having to be constantly reminded, and I don’t believe that the British, Germans, Italians, Norwegians, Nigerians, Egyptians, South Africans, Mexicans, Canadians, etc. love their countries any less than we do ours. Here, it’s everywhere. On our houses, our cars, our car dealerships, our clothes, our tattoos – and I’m making allowance for military people’s tattoos. That’s a tradition I have no problem with.

I will admit that there are some instances where the flag thing might come in handy. Take, for example, the “Red Dawn” scenario that so many of us seem to be so looking forward to. It would be reassuring to the invaders to have such a glaring confirmation that they’ve invaded the right country. Conversely, if they were planning to invade Canada or Mexico, they’d be far more likely to realize their mistake before too much damage was done. They could just pack their gear back up, mumble “Excuse us, we must have taken a wrong turn,” and proceed peacefully to their intended target.

On the other hand, it seems like it could also work against us. Take all these immigrant “invasions”. It seems possible that, without all the visible confirmation that they have indeed reached the “Land of the Free, Home of the Brave”, they might just keep on going and accidentally “invade” Canada – since the U.S. is apparently so inconsequential that we have to constantly remind ourselves where we are. Just a thought.

Something else that troubles me is that so many of us can’t even manage to be consistent in our blatant patriomania. It’s not at all unusual to see people proudly displaying the American flag right alongside the flag of the greatest threat to our nation we’ve ever seen (for those of you who haven’t been keeping score, it’s the battle flag of the Confederacy). That one blows my mind, especially here in Indiana, given our state’s proud contributions to preserving the Union (of course, Indiana was also pretty much ground zero for the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan back in the early 20th Century – that may be where the confusion comes in). Still, it seems odd that even people stupid enough to revere both flags can’t see the incongruity of it.

On a side note, in case there are any of those semi-neo-Confederates still reading who are bringing up the “heritage” argument, and insisting that destroying statues is tantamount to destroying our history, I would ask them why is your “heritage” more important than the heritage of those whose ancestors suffered so horribly under yours? Why should they “get over it” when you refuse to?

Anyway, back to the flag thing: Another thing that really bothers me is how the flag assumes prominence in places where, to me, it shouldn’t – like in church. It is my feeling that if you’re a Christian, that should take precedence over everything else, ie., love and worship of God takes precedence over love and worship of country. If that is true, then why is the American flag given the place of honor? Here’s a link to the VA’s guidance on flag display. Here are the rules, according to the American Flagpole and Flag Company, which are quite a bit more detailed: see Rule 6. It explicitly states, “When displayed from a staff in a church or public auditorium, the flag of the United States of America should hold the position of superior prominence . . .” So much for “have no other Gods before me”.

Frankly, it also creeps me out when we sing hymns that seem to focus more on worship of country than God as well. I don’t expect it to stop, especially in my little country church, which is home to an exceptionally large proportion of veterans (including my wife and I). In fact, I’m probably losing a lot of cool points with any fellow congregants who might’ve ignored my warnings and continued to read this. To them, I would just say that I’m not saying we can’t be both Christians and patriots – just that one needs to take precedence over the other.

I think what troubles me most about the whole flag thing is that it’s just too easy. Nothing important is ever easy. It seems to me that if all we have to do is put up a flag, or slap a sticker on our car, stick a flag pin on our lapels, or buy a t-shirt to show how patriotic we are, then that patriotism is useless, worthless. That sort of patriotism is all about us, not our country. It seems that if we’re actual patriots, then we ought to be actively working to make our nation better, and that’s hard work.

Finally, I just want to say that I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with displaying the flag, especially if it’s done properly, but if that’s all you’re doing to make this country better, then why are you even bothering? Just something to think about.

The post Another Post YOU Shouldn’t Read: Independence Day Edition appeared first on moonsthoughts.

Another Post You Shouldn’t Read: Unless You Already Don’t Like Me.

Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe – Frederick Douglass

I’ve been struggling with whether to write something about the murder of George Floyd (and by extension, all the others like him), the protests, and the riots. Like many of you, I’m outraged by what is going on in our streets.

I don’t like rioting and looting, but I like defenseless people being killed by those who are sworn “to serve and protect” even less. As far as I’m concerned, if you don’t think that systemic racism is an integral part of our judicial, economic, and political systems, then you don’t know our history and are not paying attention.

I feel like to not speak out against those things is to be part of the problem, and I don’t want to be part of the problem. On the other hand, pretty much everything I have to say has been said much more eloquently and capably by smarter people and better writers than I am.

I kind of feel like what the country doesn’t need right now is another 50-something, white, middle-class, Christian male chiming in with his special take on racism (it’s evil and pervasive in this country – sorry, couldn’t help myself).

So, I’m going with my “special take” on something that’s contributing to the problem that hasn’t been covered quite so completely – Christians.

Yup, Christians. We’re a big part of the problem, going back to the days of slavery when far too many of us were cherry-picking the bible to prove to ourselves that owning people was not only right, but OUR right, and what’s more, was good for those we owned. We used it to justify our evil actions to ourselves, and used it to make sure that those we owned stayed docile and manageable. Note that this also includes justifying our ongoing genocide against Native Americans.

Far too many of us are basically still doing the same thing.

I was heartened by the number of Christians who were disgusted and outraged by the murder of George Floyd. I felt like we were getting somewhere maybe. Then the riots started, and suddenly too many of those same people were saying, “What happened to George Floyd was wrong, but all this destruction of property is REALLY wrong,” and then went on to talk about how those people should be protesting the “right” way.

“Those people” have been protesting peacefully for years, decades even, and many of us Christians were outraged and ferociously outspoken about it, especially when we felt those protests disrespected our flag or our country.

We Christians are big on the bible, and we love it when we can slap a verse on something that’s going on today and sit back in our smug self-righteousness, point at “them” and say “See? God warned us about this, and now they’re gonna get it!”

Of course, it always seems to center around the idea that we’re supposed to be a Christian nation and, because of our misguided tolerance, us good Christians have allowed evil foreigners, unions, atheists, and liberals to hijack the country. It all adds up to manufactured outrage about things that just aren’t so. Things like “they” took God out of school – but what about the idea that God is with us wherever we are? Or, and this is another personal favorite, “they” have taken God out of our government – seriously? Take a look back at our history and tell me when God has ever been even remotely considered by our government when making decisions. That’s not to say he’s never been invoked. He has. All the time. Almost always in the most hypocritical, self-serving, manipulative way possible.

Like I said, we seem to think those verses only apply to “them”, but think about this. Up to, and including now, Christianity has been far and away the predominant religion in this country. All this systemic racism has flourished with Christians at the helm. Now, it seems to me that we are reaping what we have sown. We are watching our country tear itself apart while denying our complicity in our nation’s most fundamental sin – racism.

Because we are all complicit. We are all guilty. I’ve never thought of myself as a racist, but I look back now and see that I have repeatedly said things that were unquestionably, indisputably racist (and they weren’t all in the distant past), without even realizing what I was doing. That’s how ingrained our nation racism is. I’ve realized that I’ve been a racist all my life, without even knowing it, and I’m ashamed of myself.

Anyway, as often happens, my mind has gone off on so many tangents while writing this, that I’ve decided to break it up into multiple posts. I’ll try to title each one so that you’ll know from the title whether you should read it or not.

I’m going to close for now with this: Christ never seemed to value property over life. Why do we? It seems like focusing on the riots is like focusing on coughing up blood without bothering to cut out the cancer that is actually killing us.

The post Another Post You Shouldn’t Read: Unless You Already Don’t Like Me. appeared first on moonsthoughts.

Me and Covid-19: Stuff You Probably Shouldn’t Read.

I got a message on the Facebook the other day mentioning how I’d been “mysteriously quiet” on the subject of the recent pandemic. I’ve chosen to take that as an invitation to speak (or write), rather than a suggestion that perhaps I should be quiet on more things (Kim Waggoner, you have only yourself to blame – Everybody else, blame Kim!).

I’ve thought about writing something on this mess for a while now, but I’ve been alternating between rage, sadness, and a sort of locked-down ennui. There’s really no reason to go into the rage – if you know me at all you know what and whom I’m angry with, and why. If you have to wonder, you really don’t know me, and wouldn’t understand if I tried to explain it.

The ennui is pretty standard-issue right now. It seems like most of the country is in the same locked-down boat as I am. Sitting at home, killing our brains with Netflix. I do have one advantage that most don’t have – I’m locked down with the lovely and talented Jess. Sadly for her, that means she’s trapped with me.

The sadness is maybe a little less understandable, at least to those who know me – if you know me at all, you know that rage is really the only emotion I’m truly comfortable with.

I’m sad because we’ve got this thing going on, and I feel pretty confident that, when this is eventually over, we’re going to forget the things that we should be learning, and retain all the things we shouldn’t be. Our current love affair with the “heroic” teachers, fast-food workers, truckers, grocery store employees, and medical professionals will pretty quickly fade, once we are back to work.

Instead of insisting on a living wage for low-level workers, smaller classrooms and more teachers, better pay, benefits, and conditions for teachers, ensuring medical coverage for all, improving the lot of those medical professionals, including the lower-level carers like orderlies, CNAs, home healthcare workers, etc., and making other substantive changes to our country, we’ll soon be back to bitching about the service, saying “They want a living wage for this? Monkeys could do this job better!”, and wondering why they aren’t more motivated, all while whining about the treatment that “we” deserve.

They’ll be forgotten, just like the contributions of all the Rosie the Riveters were after WWII. Sure, we’ll pay lip service to it once in a while, and the politicians on both sides will outdo each other swearing allegiance to them, but once that big ol’ economy machine starts back up, we’re going to go right back to making sure we get ours, and feeling like anyone in a position “below” ours is trying to steal what’s ours.

One idea that I’d heard about even before all this happened, is that internet access should be considered a public utility. If nothing else, this pandemic should be causing some serious discussion about this. It has certainly demonstrated the necessity of the internet for education, for work, for communication, for dissemination of necessary public information.

Still, I haven’t seen much of anything about this lately, at least not from anyone who can do something about it.

Anyway, as a result of thinking about this stuff, I’ve been taking the social distancing thing a little too seriously, maybe. I’m not calling anyone, I’m not even answering emails.

It’s not that I have nothing to say, but more a matter of I don’t feel like shouting into a hurricane. Few will hear it, even less will understand it. There’s just too much noise, too little substance, and way too much spin.

There’s lots of things that I’d like to talk about, I’m just having a hard time seeing the point right now. Don’t worry though, by tomorrow, I’ll probably be hopefull enough to go back to my normal, angry, confrontational, and, mouthy.

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Stop the Bullshit!: We’re ALL Part of the Problem – Part 1 – Stupid Generalizations

Disclaimer: One of my favorite writers, Joe R. Lansdale has said that to be a good writer, you have to write as if everyone you know is dead. That’s what I’m doing in this piece. I’m not calling anyone out, but I’m not going to tip-toe around either. If you’re offended, that’s fine, just be offended (maybe take a minute to think about why you’re offended). None of this is intended as a personal attack on anyone, but on certain types of behavior that we’re all frequently guilty of. You’ve been warned.

Disclaimer 2: The following contains some bad language. I make no excuses and offer no apologies. If that sort of thing offends you to the point where it takes precedence over what’s being said, then do yourself a favor and stop reading now.

Stupid Generalizations

Yesterday, I started writing a post about how words, and how we string them together have meaning. I’ve abandoned that post, since I’ve come to the conclusion that most people just don’t care, at least not in America.

That last sentence brings me to my first point: when I first wrote it, it said “. . . no one cares . . .”, which is a gross, and inaccurate generalization. Lots of people in America actually do care. The actual issue, the reason I’ve abandoned that post is that it’s pointless. The people who do care would hopefully read it and agree, but those it was aimed at wouldn’t even bother reading it. I’d just be preaching to the choir, and there’s enough of that kind of bullshit going on in this country right now (which is another point I’ll get to later).

But aren’t we all guilty of making those same kind of gross and inaccurate generalizations, even when we know them to be completely untrue. Every day I see videos, and read “news” articles and social media posts, and hear conversations doing this same thing. Keep in mind that I’m not talking about politicians, or the professional talking heads on the news networks, or internet “influencers” (whatever/whoever they are. I just found out that’s actually a thing), nor the websites of extremist propagandists of every stripe. For the most part, I believer those people are at best, extremely biased, and anything they say should be fact-checked, and at worst – well, I would say they’re whores, but as my dad would have said, that would be denigrating whores.

Nope, I’m talking about normal (whatever that is) people. For argument’s sake, lets say people like you and me (except for YOU of course – you know who you are*). People whom I know to be decent, reasonable, intelligent, caring, and basically good human beings. We’re talking liberals, conservatives, Christians, agnostics, atheists, and undeclared, gay, straight, trans, etc., about as broad slice of the human spectrum as you’re likely to get in rural Indiana.

People who, for all their sterling qualities frequently use the phrase “all conservatives”, “all liberals”, “all Republicans”, “all Democrats”, “all Christians”, “all Muslims”, “all fill-in-your-own-favorite-existential-threat-to-our-country/religion/way of life/etc. demographic”. You know; dipshits. The kind of people who if you were to claim something derogatory about their group would protest vehemently that you can’t attribute the worst whatever of the most extreme branch of whatever group they belong to, to every – or even most – of that group.

Lets face it: anyone who knows anything about people knows that generalizations are pretty much useless and provably false (although is that a generalization in itself?). But we insist on doing it anyway, shrilly and belligerently and as loudly as they can.

I know they’re not going to stop, so all I can say is that I’d appreciate it if you could stop doing that crap around me anyway? At least if you have any interest in me actually listening and considering whatever it is you have to say. On the other hand, I do have to say that it does save me a fair amount of time, since I’ve found that pretty much anything that starts with or includes “all conservatives/liberals/Christians/Muslims/etc. . . .” is basically bullshit anyway, so there’s no sense bothering to read it.

I know a lot of Conservatives/Republicans. Most of my “friends” on the Facebook, and in real life are Conservatives/Republicans. None of them wants to cage children, watch you die because you don’t have health insurance, want to send our troops to more endless wars, or block any legal voter from the polls. Are there some Conservatives/Republicans who either do want to do those things or at least are okay with it? Yes there are, but I don’t know any. The ones I know would give pretty much anyone in need the shirt off their back. At least that’s what I believe they’d do, and I like believing in people.

I also know a lot of Liberals/Democrats. None of the ones I know want open borders, or Soviet-style socialism, or to even get rid of capitalism, to force preachers to gay-marry people, or to destroy the country. Are there some that do want those things? Absolutely there are (although I’m not really sure about that “destroy the country” thing. Not sure what anyone stands to gain from that), but I don’t know any. The ones I know are just as decent and caring , and just as supportive of our country and rights as the conservatives I know.

I would go so far as to say that virtually all of the conservatives I know have way more in common with the vast majority of liberals I know, and vice versa. In fact, I believe that they have more in common with each other than either have with the extreme wing of their own group.

That’s why those bullshit generalizations just make things worse: They’re divisive, hateful, and destructive. That’s the sort of thing that no one who spends any time thinking about the people they know would say.

“All . . .” is the sort of phrase that tells the audience more about the speaker/writer than it does about whoever it is they’re talking about. Before you do it again, think about what it tells people about you.

*Just a joke. Not intended toward any actual person. Still, I have to say I’m curious to see if/how many people take it personally.

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Some More Recommendations for Your Reading/Watching/Listening Pleasure

Hi folks, just a few entertainment recommendations for you. Well maybe not for YOU, (you know who you are), but for everyone else. Some of these you’ve probably heard of, many you probably haven’t. I highly recommend all of these (for what that’s worth).

Books:

The Shadow of the Wind

A great book, but kind of hard to describe: sort of a literary, book-based coming-of-age thriller about how books can affect our lives. Takes place in Barcelona, Spain after WWII. Amazing writing, great characters, very suspenseful. Some cursing, some sex, but nothing too graphic/explicit. Best thing I’ve read in a while.

World Made By Hand

A great post-apocalyptic tale: In the not-too-distant future, society has collapsed, wars, famine, and epidemics have drastically reduced the population, and those left are living in a technology-free, early 19th century kind of world. Modern medicines and technology are things of the past, but most people are old enough to remember them, which just makes adjusting harder. A small town reaches a crisis point where they realize they must either dig in and start over, or give up and sink even deeper. A new religious group moves into town. Are they a force for good, or evil?

A great read: Exciting but thoughtful, dystopian but ultimately optimistic, very non-political. Reads more like a western than a typical dystopian story. World Made By Hand is the first of a series of four. It’s followed by The Witch of Hebron, A History of the Future, and The Harrows of Spring, all of which are really, really good. Some bad language, some violence, some sex, but none gratuitous, exploitative, or graphic. Really not much worse than most Louis L’amour books.

Wyoming Range War: The Infamous Invasion of Johnson County

A non-fiction account of the Johnson County War of 1891-2. A great examination of a little-known range war in which the big ranches/cattle interests literally recruited an army of hired guns and invaded Johnson County Wyoming with the intention of killing numerous small ranchers and law enforcement officials. Goes to great depth in examining the events that led up to it, and the aftermath, in addition to recounting the events of the actual invasion. A little dry/very detailed, but really worth reading. A great tale of power run amok, and what can happen when the little guy stands up to it. Also an eye-opener to those who think that “fake news” is something new.

Augustus Carp, Esquire

A very funny and frequently hilarious “autobiography” of a man so convinced of his own righteousness that he writes the story of his life to serve as an example to others of how they should live their lives. Surprisingly relevant (at least I thought so). Not a very long read, and very entertaining, although the language is somewhat old-fashioned (first published in 1924). Definitely the lightest of these four recommendations. Nothing objectionable.

Movies

Flu

Great Korean thriller about a city struck with an especially virulent strain of flu. Not a horror movie, but if you liked Train to Busan, you’ll enjoy this. One of the most likeable and amiable heroes I’ve ever seen in a movie of this kind, and once again proves that there’s nothing more tear-inducing than a 7-year-old Korean girl crying for her mother. Gotta hand it to the Koreans, they give this type of thing a lot more heart, and ramp up the suspense way more than most American films of this type. Some cursing, violence. A lot of flu-based gore. Great movie. Available on Amazon Prime.

The Terror: Infamy

Season two of AMC’s series The Terror. History-based horror, this time taking place in the Internment Camps of WWII America. A great blend of actual historical horror and supernatural horror, with the historical horror coming off as scarier. Like the best of any genre, it’s about more than just horror. It makes you think about much deeper issues (at least it did me). A great show. Some bad language, some violence, but nothing too extreme or graphic. Just as good as season one The Terror, which was based on the Dan Simmon’s fictional account of the real-life Franklin expedition to find the northwest passage. That was one of the few programs that I felt was actually better than the book (and I love the book). This recommendation is kind of a two-fer.

The Terror season one takes place in 1845-6. Two ships, the Erebus and the Terror, under the command of Sir John Franklin, become frozen in the Arctic ice while searching for the Northwest Passage. Not one of the crew was ever seen again. That part is all true. The show (and book) provide a partly realistic/partly supernatural explanation. Some violence and a lot of suspense.

JoJo Rabbit

Hands-down the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. A hilarious, heart-breaking, thought-provoking look at Nazism and the end of WWII through the eyes of a ten year old member of the Hitler Youth who discovers a Jewish girl hidden in the walls of his house. Amazing performances by the entire cast, and especially from Roman Griffin Davis (JoJo), Thomasin McKenzie (Elsa), Scarlett Johanson (Jojo’s mother), and Taika Waititi (Jojo’s imaginary best friend Adolph Hitler. He also wrote and directed it). I can’t say enough good about this movie. Jess and I both loved it. I can’t think of any higher recommendation. WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!!

Hunters

An Amazon Prime series about a group hunting Nazis in America in 1977. The most difficult recommendation here. It has come under completely understandable, legitimate, and valid fire from a number of people and groups (like the Auschwitz-Birkenau State Museum) for its historical inaccuracies regarding, and cartoonish embellishments of, Nazi atrocities in the camps (and, if that sounds stupid, read what they had to say, as well as what the show’s creator had to say in response.)

It is a very pulpy, cartoony show with overt nods to comic books, Quentin Tarentino (especially Inglorious Basterds) and other WWII fantasies like The Dirty Dozen and Kelly’s Heroes. I have a hard time taking anything seriously that includes the words “rag-tag group” to describe the heroes. That term pretty much always describes something that is basically a fantasy, and Hunters is definitely a fantasy.

What it comes down to, for me, is that it does what all good fiction based on historical “real events” does. Although it is, frankly, shitty history (and virtually anything based on “real events” is. If it wasn’t, no one would watch.), it asks the right questions (“was going to the moon worth doing if we had to smuggle Nazis in to do it?” and “What does the fact that we brought Nazis here and protected them to suit our ends say about us?” and “Was it worth it?” and “At what point do monster-hunters become monsters themselves?”), and it makes me feel the need to read more about the actual events, to try to understand not only what happened, but why it happened, and how those events affect us today, so that we can avoid/prevent repeats.

At any rate, it is the sketchiest recommendation here. Lots of violence, profanity, bloodshed, etc. However, I did find parts of it very moving and thought-provoking. If you can make it through the first 10-15 minutes, you’ll probably enjoy it.

Music:

I haven’t been checking out a lot of new stuff (and by that, I mean new to me), but I do have some recommendations for bands you might not otherwise hear about (and some you should already know).

The Bottle Rockets

A great Americana rock band that’s been around for almost 30 years. A lot of fun to listen to. Here’s one of my favorites of theirs, “Indianapolis“. If you like Uncle Tupelo, Son Volt, Lucero, or Drag the River, chances are you’ll like the Bottle Rockets. If you don’t know any of those bands, then you’re missing out. If you like Tom Petty, chances are you’ll like most of those bands.

The Old 97s

Another band that’s been around since 92. These guys fit in well with the Bottle Rockets and those other bands I mentioned. On the Cowpunk scale, they come down more on the Cow side, while the Bottle Rockets are more punk. If you’re a fan of Gram Parsons or The Flying Burrito Brothers, you’ll probably enjoy these guys. Great stuff with a great sense of humor to go along with that honky-tonk twang.

Jethro Tull – Thick as a Brick

Okay, I know that most of you have probably heard of this one. However, I’ve recently reconnected with Tull, and with Thick as a Brick in particular. I find it amusing that an album recorded in 1972 and intended as a parody of the concept album genre, with the standard prog-rock obtuse lyrics should suddenly be relevant again (or at least I find it so). Do yourself a favor and listen to the whole songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X15PsqN0DHc, not just the radio edit, and read the lyrics. Then check out Aqualung, War Child, and Too Old to Rock and Roll, Too Young to Die.

And finally,

RUSH

Of all the musicians/artists who’ve died recently, the one that hit me the most personally is Neil Peart of Rush. Not only was he one of, if not the, greatest rock drummers of all time, he was also a brilliant lyricist whose humanity, and view of the world was always tempered with love and mercy. Songs like “Limelight“, “Spirit of Radio“, “Freewill“, “Far Cry“, “Bravest Face“, “Subdivisions”, “Lakeside Park“, “Fly By Night“, “Making Memories“, “2112” (of course), and too many others to list, show an intelligence and transcendence that is rare in any kind of music, much less rock, and a lot of that came from Neil Peart. When we lost him, we lost a giant.

Anyway, I guess that’s about it for now. Happy reading/watching/listening!

The post Some More Recommendations for Your Reading/Watching/Listening Pleasure appeared first on moonsthoughts.

Undeserved Christmas Blessings: A Few Yule-tide Thoughts

The lovely and talented Jess and I have had a tough time getting into the holiday spirit this year. It’s not really that unusual for me (I’m kind of a natural-born Grinch), but Jess is usually pretty into it – always making me put up the tree and hang lights on the house.

This year however, we’ve decided to just forgo all that. The prevailing thought is that if we skip it this year, then we’ll miss it and really be into it next year. We’ll see.

But at any rate, Christmas isn’t about Griswalding the house, or the tree, or any of the paraphernalia. It’s about the birth of our Saviour, and the wonder of undeserved blessings – of which I have an abundance.

I’ve got the best and most beautiful wife in the world (sorry fellas, but that’s just the fact). I’ve got a few friends who see pretty much eye-to-eye with me on most things, and just as good, I’ve got a lot of friends who disagree with me on virtually everything, but still love me as much as I love them.

I’ve got so many friends who are so much more talented than I am at the things I love: writing, music, photography, but genuinely seem excited when I produce a new piece of writing.

I’ve got a great extended family, that loves me and accepts me for all my Uncle Buckness without the rejection that the actual Uncle Buck had to put up with (and that includes my awesome church family who take me for what I am, and love me despite myself).

I’ve been lucky that, even though my financial mistakes and fiascos are many and varied, none have been serious enough to keep me behind the 8 ball, and we’re able to live a pretty comfortable, low-key life.

My life is pretty short on want – I’ve got everything I need, and not enough of what I don’t need to weigh me down.

I’ve got kids who love me, even though they have every reason to hate my guts, and wonderful grandkids, and if we don’t see each other as often as we’d like, it’s not really anyone’s fault.

I’ve got a pack of unnecessarily over-enthusiastic dogs constantly trashing the house, getting underfoot, driving me crazy and reminding me of the rarity that is unconditional love.

I’ve got more books than I could ever read, a wide-ranging library of music, and a wife who doesn’t object to my constant, compulsive enlarging of both collections (told you she was the best).

I’ve also got you: the 19 or 20 people who take the time to read this blog – even when you disagree with me. I hope it’s worth the time.

Best of all, I’ve got a Saviour who loves me as I am – despite all my many weaknesses, shortcomings, and failures.

One of the things that occurred to me the other day at Church (and I realize I’m probably late to the party on this one) is that not only was Jesus born, lived life as a man, and died to pay the price for me that I could never pay for myself, and defeat death that I might live forever with him, he knew, even before he was born how it was all going to end.

To me that’s amazing. I mean I love my kids, but if I knew my kids were going to do to me what we were going to do/are still doing to him, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t even think about it.

I might have gone along with the being born, living, and telling them how to get their shit together, but I’d have drawn the line waaaaaaaay short of allowing them to crucify me. That’s just nuts – or real love.

Talk about undeserved blessings.

Anyway, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Thanks for reading.

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