Laura Freeman's Blog, page 18

Don’t Tie The Knot

Don’t Tie the Knot by Bianca Blythe Historical Romance

The 1816 date makes this a Regency and it follows the rules for most of the story. It has a unique problem in that Hamish Montgomery, the twin of Lord Callum Montgomery, wants to stop Callum from marrying Charlotte Butterworth, the daughter of a vicar.

Callum must marry Lady Isla McIntyre in order to inherit their castle and lands. Honor to keep a betrothal and suspicion about Charlotte motivates Hamish who is living in the castle and earning money as an architect.

He rushes to London where his brother is opening a gaming place with Isla’s brother, Wolfe. These characters will play a role in a future story but by introducing them in this story, the reader gets to know them and is more likely to read the book featuring them.

Hamish is shy and clumsy unlike his roguish brother Callum but will do anything to stop the marriage. He climbs into Charlotte’s bedroom to offer her money not to marry his brother unaware he is in her sister Georgina’s bedroom. Georgina doesn’t reveal who she is because she is determined her sister will marry Callum because they love each other or so she thinks.

This introduces the problem between the main characters. They have opposing goals. Who will win? This sets up the series of events as Hamish and Georgina square off.

Hamish is surprised Callum met and proposed to Charlotte in one afternoon. Something is wrong with their relationship, but the reason is not answered in this book. This is another way to cause someone to read the next book in the series. Introduce a secret or mystery. It can be solved in the current story or in a future one if it is a series.

Blythe uses humor in the dialogue and situations in her stories. Georgina’s mother is also a source of amusement needed in a Regency story. She is determined her daughters marry and tends to talk non-stop.

Hamish closes the church, and the couple decide to elope. Hamish races to Gretna Green to stop the elopement, unaware Georgina has hidden in his carriage.

Modern regency romances tend to have more sex scenes and this novel has one added, but I found it awkward, especially in a Regency. I did not like the fact that after Georgina worries for days about her reputation traveling with a man alone, she suddenly decides to have sex with him for the experience since she doesn’t plan to marry. This quick turn around didn’t seem natural but was needed for more tension in the following chapters. Too many authors think they need a sex scene to keep a reader’s interest, but the plot should be developed enough to carry the story with or without the romantic couple needing to consummate their relationship. Their relationship lacked romance, and sex is no substitution for the looks, touching, and intimate conversations that link two people and develops into love.

What do you think?

More book reviews are available at http://www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#Regency #Romance

Both Ends of the Night

Both Ends of the Night by Marcia Muller 1997 Warner Books Edition Mystery

This is the 18th book in the Sharon McCone series so I missed a lot from the first book. Sharon no longer works for the All Souls Legal Corp., but Ted Smalley is still her lawyer. She has a thriving private investigation agency, but she works alone except for asking her employees to do research. The new man in her life is Hy Ripinksy whose wife died of an illness. He owns a ranch, and they jointly own a house. Her sister Charlene has six kids with ex-husband Rick which causes holiday problems for her. They were the subject of an earlier book by all the references in this one.

Muller took flying lessons, and this book has a lot of information about flying. The story is about Sharon’s flying instructor Matty Wildress whose boyfriend, John Seabrook, has disappeared, leaving her to care for his son, Zach. Matty has an airshow she has to attend even though Sharon and Hy warn her not to perform. Sure enough, her plane does a nosedive into the ground.

Sharon does a lot of flying as she begins to figure out who John Seabrook is and who rigged Matty’s plane. Sharon and Hy track down the mechanic, but he’s been shot along with another man at the airfield. Sharon finds out Zach’s mother was assassinated coming out of a grocery store in Florida, and John fled with Zach. Her FBI friend confirms they are in the witness protection program.

Sharon talks to the pilots and mechanics at the airfield and discovers John knew how to fly and was taking lessons so he could fly under his new name. He fled after a plane from Stirling Aviation arrived, and that gives Sharon the big lead. She goes out alone to interview the people from Stirling, and the cues pile up in rapid succession.

In a mystery, the investigator needs a personal interest in the victim such as Sharon’s friendship with Matty. This is established in the first chapter. Matty isn’t killed until about a third into the story, but her friendship makes it’s important for Sharon to find her killer and even put herself in danger, which she does. If your heroine is going to stick her neck out, it has to be for a good cause.

Sharon also has family problems with her sister and other relatives that add to her stress but offer intimate moments into her life that make her more real to the reader. The hard nose detective who only solves crimes is hard to relate to for most readers. Also, Sharon has a love life although she doesn’t seem to be on solid ground with Hy, and I had to wonder why they would buy a house together.

Several minor characters were developed with bonds to Sharon, and I had to wonder if they will be future victims. If you are writing a series, bring back minor characters in future books to have problems or become victims. That previous tie makes the case personal with a stronger motive to solve like this one.

More book reviews are available at www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#Mystery #Muller

Marin’s Promise

Marin’s Promise by Madeline Martin 2019 Historical Romance

Lady Marin Barrington is left with her four sisters to protect their family castle in 1333 England while their father goes to fight in a battle against the Scots.

The castle is attacked by Bran Davidson, a reiver, or cavalry raider along the English/Scotland border. He was hired by Kerr who has his sister, Ena, locked in a prison and ready for execution for marrying an Englishman. He will do anything to save her. He has captured Catriona, who was picking flowers outside the castle, and Marin surrenders to save her sister’s life. Her other sisters include Anice, Ella and Leila.

Marin and Bran will protect their loved ones at any cost but are also drawn to each other. Marin’s plan to seduce Bran and kill him lands her in the dungeon. She sends her remaining soldiers and sisters to a neighboring castle to seek help, but Bran tells her reivers have taken the castle. She promises to marry him if he will rescue them. A battle causes Bran and Leila to be wounded. He shares his story of his family’s slaughter and she shares her family story after their wedding. They have to battle betrayal, family, and reivers before they can find happiness.

Stories follow in a series about the four younger sisters but this is one you will not want to skip. Martin captures the history and violence of the times. There is plenty of lusts and steamy scenes, but the story is strong and moves along at a fast pace. Once one problem is solved, another surfaces. The women are warriors and hold their own, but Bran shoulders some of Marin’s responsibilities and wins her heart.

This is an example of strong women in historical settings. Modern novels want women who don’t wait around to be rescued. They fight. Like a strong alpha male, an alpha female should be a combination of strength and vulnerability. Her love for her family motives her to be brave and strong. Her love for her man, gives her courage to act.

More reviews are available at http://www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#Romance #historical #Highlander

Edwin of the Iron Shoes

Edwin of the Iron Shoes by Marcia Muller 1977 Mysterious Press Mystery

Before Grafton’s Kinsey Milhone and Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum, Muller created Sharon McCone, staff investigator for All Souls Legal Cooperative. Her first murder case involves antique and junk dealer Joan Albritton, stabbed with an antique dagger.

Her boss, lawyer Han Zahn has her inventory the assets while asking questions to find the murderer. The homicide cop, Lt. Gregory Marcus, doesn’t like strong women, and they butt heads. He’s been married to a woman who became a lawyer, and his mistress turned him onto art but wanted him to give up the life of a cop. This provides the tension between the two main characters.

Sharon begins talking to the other antique shop owners, Charlie Cornish, Austin, and Dan Efron. She had investigated vandalism and arson against the shops last fall, but the crimes ceased before she discovered the culprit. The city condemned the properties, and there are several people interested in buying the 17 shops and turning the lots into a mall or condos. This provides a list of suspects that Sharon interviews and allows the reader to learn enough to solve the crime along with the heroine.

A mystery story is for the reader’s enjoyment. Let them learn the clues and lead them down some wrong alleys before revealing the bad guy.

Sharon’s boring job of inventory is raised a notch when the killer comes in looking for something. She receives threats and the danger increases throughout the story. She also learns about art which leads her to discover the motive for the murders. A friend looks at the paintings from the shop, and Sharon discovers one is priceless and was smuggled into the country.

As Sharon gets closer to solving the case, her relationship with Marcus heats up as well. Another murder increases the need to find the killer. These are all tactics that any writer can use in a mystery murder.

Sharon arrests the obvious killer but she realizes something is wrong. The clues carefully shown throughout the story lead to the climax, and the real killer attacks Sharon. Don’t limit your suspect or killer to one person if you don’t have to. Give others a reason to kill the victim. Expose the obvious killer and then reveal the killer who has been hiding in the shadows. This should shock and satisfy the reader.

This is the first book in a series so Sharon escapes death with minor injuries, but for 1977 she is no Charlie’s Angel. She is one tough lady who can sip beer at the bar with two older men and give an arrogant cop a second chance. I’m looking forward to reading another book starring Sharon.

More book reviews are available at www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#mystery #Muller

To Steal A Heart

To Steal A Heart by K.C. Bateman 2016 Regency

To Steal A Heart has many of the required elements of a Regency novel but expands on the often predictable plots to make this a fast-paced adventure for two strong personalities in 1816 France.

Nicholas Valette is a spy for both the French and English as Napoleon returns to power. He needs someone to help him sneak a member of the French royal family out of prison and to safety to England. His choice is Marianne Bonnard, a circus performer, whose parents were French aristocrats.

Intrigued? The story delivers with Marianne and her younger sister Sophie blackmailed by their cousin Duval, who is in charge of brothels in Paris. He is a true villain that Marianne must deal with personally. She agrees to help Nic in order to keep Sophie safe after Duval auctions their virginity off to the highest bidder.

Nic and Marianne have lost someone dear to them and seek revenge before they can be happy. It is one of many obstacles that thwart a happily ever after.

Nic’s training of Marianne for the rescue is relentless, but their attraction is strong yet denied. He has his mission. She doesn’t trust him. Their playacting as lovers only makes keeping their hands off each other harder. Their plan almost succeeds.

Bateman never lets up on the action, and there is violence and sex in this story that isn’t normally expected in a rigid Regency novel where handholding and a single kiss at the end are the only displays of affection. The modern Regency has more physical description with sex. She wrings out every ounce of emotion and keeps the reader guessing how the two lovers will reunite.

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#Romance #Regency #Bateman

Rainbow’s End

Rainbow’s End by Rebecca Brandewyne 1991 Warner Books

Josselyn O’Rourke was placed in a convent when seven years old while her father, Red, went to Colorado to find gold. She receives a letter that her father is dead, and she must travel to Colorado about her father’s mine, Rainbow’s End.

In her youth Josselyn had met a man secretly who seduced her with kisses and caresses before finding out that he was luring young girls to a brothel and had luckily been arrested before kidnapping her. She tells the nuns she wants to join the order, but they know she is doing it to hide.

The background establishes the heroine’s frame of mind of not trusting men and wondering if they are lying to her. It sets up the conflict in the future. Backstories should be short, sweet, and make a point.

The lawyer reads the will which leaves her share to her only if she does not become a nun and marries one of the remaining male partners, gentleman Wylie Gresham or saloon owner and desperado Durango de Navarro. Victoria Houghton is the widow of the fourth partner, Forbes, who died before Red O’Rourke. Both men begin courting her.

Josselyn is determined to find out who killed her Da and tries to get to know both men. Durango appears to be dirty, obnoxious, and forward so she doesn’t like him. Wylie is a gentleman but Victoria is his mistress. Neither man would make a good husband so why did her father make that a stipulation of the will?

Josselyn, who still wears her nun’s habit, goes to the mine with Durango. She falls into a cart and Durango rescues her. He kisses her, and she faints from the heat. Durango lets her think the worst. He isn’t a marrying man, but he wants her. He begins to show a softer side by taking in an orphan. Josselyn never confronts Durango with the fact that he owns a saloon with a brothel on the second floor. What should be a major obstacle to any romance is never addressed.

Many romances have a rake as the lead character but he is reformed at some point. Many heroines love a bad boy but do they marry them? Obstacles need to be resolved. Historically men have had many lovers to paint them as virile and attractive while the woman must remain virginal. But how does your heroine feel about this?

Durango is jealous when he sees Wylie kiss Josselyn and Victoria is threatened by her when she thinks she may lose Wylie. These are external threats. Victoria drugs Durango and Josselyn and hires thugs to put them in bed in a hotel. This results in a forced marriage.

A lot of stories rely on the forced marriage, especially a Regency, but there has to be some attraction before the incident or both or one would refuse to wed. Josselyn, thinks she has already been ruined by Durango and allows him to make love to her when they wake in the same bed. He excuses his action on the lie that she wasn’t an innocent and then marries her. This may make him feel better about his seduction, but he doesn’t take Josselyn’s feelings into consideration.

The quick marriage throws a wrench into Red’s plans because he faked his death to find out who the culprit was who sabotaged the mine and had hoped posting of the bans, which Durango didn’t do, would give him time to stop any wedding. Then Red breaks his ankle so he can’t interfere.

Brandewyne uses long passages of poetic description for the love scenes, something that isn’t done too often, but it is something every writer should be able to do in small doses. I am not a poet and envy those who can describe things in flowery phrases. Avoid too much, but add a few carefully crafted phrases to your writing.

Not completely trusting each other, Durango and Josselyn, move to the mine to investigate the accident and make love, waiting for each to declare “I love you.” All the characters end up down in the mine and Da reveals he’s alive. Da offers Durango all if he divorces Josselyn but he refuses, proving his love.

Spoiler alert: the plot had huge holes in it. Durango investigates what happened and explains it in several pages at the end. Forbes lost his fortune and sabotaged the mother lode so others would sell their shares to him, but he had no money. How was he going to buy their shares? No motive. Forbes also found out about his wife’s affair and was going to kill Wylie and have Victoria take the blame by planting her earrings at the site. Earrings? That’s not enough evidence for a murder conviction. Instead, Forbes accidentally falls into the sump before the story begins which means there was no real villain in the story. There needs to be a villain in a story that poses a real threat. Victoria’s sabotage and Red blowing up the mine made no sense except to delay a confronation. Red’s will put his daughter in jeopardy. He could have brought Josselyn to town with a letter instead. Red’s mistress Nell said it was a bad idea and readers will probably agree.

A plot like this can be saved, but first a writer needs to recognize the problems.

More book reviews can be found at www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#Romance #Historical #Brandewyne

Rescued by a Rogue

Rescued by a Rogue by Cynthia Wright 2020 Regency

When I began reading this novel, something was off. Then I discovered it was an email version of a novel “Caroline” published in 1977. Most novels in that period were termed “bodice rippers” and followed a pattern where a rake, usually handsome, wealthy, and loved by many women meets an innocent, takes her virginity, refuses to marry her but is forced into marriage and then admits his love. The woman is spirited but gives into the circumstances and authority of the rake.

If you want to read a novel from this time, this one will fulfill your nostalgic desires. Alexandre Beauvisage is a major from the American Revolutionary War which is over and in 1783 he is fulfilling a promise to a friend who died and checking on his property, which he left to Alex. On the road he encounters an unconscious woman dressed as a boy who has amnesia. He calls her Caroline or Caro and they travel together, fulfill their lusts for each other, kill two men who try to rape her, and reach his home where she befriends his family. He is jealous of other men and she is jealous of his mistress. A man appears out of her forgotten past and says they are to marry, but what are his real intentions?

Wright provides plenty of description of scenery, buildings, gowns, and famous people from that time period so historians will enjoy those passages. She describes the looks of longing, steamy sex scenes, and jealousy that sends Caroline into emotional highs and lows. She also add a villain, but his motive and how it ties to other events isn’t revealed until the end.

Writers can learn from books written centuries ago or decades in the past but keep in mind what dates a novel and what readers want from a modern novel. Point of view was all over the place in novels of this time. Modern novels should maintain a single point of view per chapter even if the chapter is only a couple of pages long. The woman needs an active part in the outcome of her life and the story. And the man’s autocratic authority needs to be tempered with listening to the woman he loves.

More book reviews can be found at http://www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#Regency #Romance #Wright

Something the Cat Dragged In

Something the Cat Dragged In by Charlotte MacLeod 1983 Avon Books Cozy mystery

This story begins with Betsy Lomax’s cat dragging tenant Herbert Ungley’s toupee in his mouth into her freshly scrubbed kitchen. When she realizes Ungley didn’t sleep in his room last night after attending Balaclava Junction Preservation of Heritage meeting, she searches for him an finds him dead behind the museum where the club meets.

This had all the expectations of being a cozy mystery with a cat, an amateur sleuth and the murder of an unpopular person, but then Lomax hands the investigation to Prof. Peter Shandy, who is the real mystery solver in the story. He pairs up with the not-so-bright Chief Fred Ottermole and another chemistry professor to solve the murder. At no time do they call in a “professional.”

They interview all the members of the exclusive club, and MacLeod shares the details of those interviews as if the reader will gleam an important clue from the long dialogues. Then Shandy reflects and considers motives after each interview. It seemed like a course in murder investigation 101.

A parallel story has two political rivals, one honest and one corrupt. Ruth Smuth, who raised money for the town college, is backing the corrupt politician and organizes a demonstration on the campus that turns out to be staged. She is found dead by college security.

Key to the mystery are four drawers of files Ungley kept at his apartment that were stolen. The bad guy doesn’t have the sense to get rid of them, and Shandy is able to read what is in them. Then instead of having the suspects report to the police station, he and his group round them up at their homes, a dangerous way to arrest anyone.

One of the things appealing about MacLeod’s paperback books are the covers. This is an important marketing feature for authors. The cover has a black cat, skull, and silver cap cane in the cartoon-like drawing for the cover. This makes you think the story will be fun, and MacLeod has a sense of humor that is sprinkled throughout the story. Choose a cover that conveys the story as well as the tone of the genre.

More book reviews are available at www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#cozy #mystery #MacLeod

Writing mistakes

When I read and review a book, it falls into three categories: I love it; I liked it, but won’t read it again; or it had so many flaws, I can’t say anything good about it. I finished a book that was filled with turnoffs, but instead of writing a horrible review, I want to point out the mistakes that made it a book I wanted to put down long before the final page.

A book can be too long. Most novels are around 300 pages with 80,000 to 90,000 words. If you can’t tell your story in that length, you need to hire an editor to cut it down to size. This 600-page book could have lost 300 pages easily in the bloated middle.

This brings us to focus. A story needs a main theme or point the author wants to convey in the story. This author couldn’t make up her mind. Was it a story about class separation? The heroine takes a job as a servant but that is temporary. Was it a story about illegitimacy? More than one character was born on the wrong side of the blanket, but that label is spread around to so many characters, it loses any impact. What about rape? More than one woman was raped in the story, but the impact isn’t explored to any depth beyond the shame of the incident. The author seems to choose independence, but the heroine never achieves independence even when it is offered, and the hero remains under his guardian’s thumb until that man’s death.

The heroine doesn’t know what she wants. If she doesn’t know, then the reader doesn’t know either. Every main character needs a goal that is hindered by a problem. This heroine inherits a great deal of money, but instead of listening to her lawyer, she declares she doesn’t want the money and runs away to work as a servant. This is the first indication of her stupidity. How can she have independence and security without money and a home of her own, which she discards?

The hero is a beta male, which means he should be the best friend instead. Heroes need to be alpha males in a story. They can bully, be rude, arrogant and all the negative things about an alpha male if they grow and change because of the woman they love. But a beta male doesn’t stand up for himself so how can he stand up for the woman he loves? This male does whatever his uncle wants even though others tell him to grow a spine.

The heroine has been under the guardianship of an abusive uncle. All her relatives are cruel and greedy but one, who appears to want to use her, does grow more likeable. There were so many awful characters, it was hard to figure out how the heroine would overcome their abuse, and her low self-esteem keeps her from happiness. The hero’s household has just as many cruel and abusive people living in his home. The story is oppressive because there is little hope through much of it. Every hero needs a best friend to cheer him/her on. The “best friend” in this story was self-seeking and the female version appeared sporadically.

Another problem is the poor way the hero and heroine are kept apart. She refuses to talk to him no matter how often he tells her they need to talk. She also thinks he fathered an illegitimate son when he was 14. How dumb can she be? He isn’t much smarter. He has finished his education at Cambridge but doesn’t have or seek a job. The aristocratic young men receive the best education in their country but don’t use it. What a waste.

Try to make your main characters intelligent and resourceful instead of spineless victims. It’s difficult to support someone who doesn’t fight for respect or have gumption. It also increases the conflict by pitting the hero/heroine against the villains. And don’t wait until the last page for this miraculous change. Characters need to change and grow throughout the story. The changes can cause problems that must be solved until the final climax and happily ever after.

More book reviews are available at http://www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

The Family Vault

The Family Vault by Charlotte MacLeod 1979 Avon Books Mystery

Sarah Kelling is married to Alexander Kelling, who is 30 years older than her and a dull boy in a large upper class traditional Boston family. She is 26 and the interest on her money, left in a trust from her father, pays all the bills for the household, which includes her blind and deaf mother, Caroline, and lazy maid, Edith.

When an elderly uncle dies, they open the family vault and find stripper Ruby Redd inside. Sarah recognizes the brick pattern used to seal the vault as one Alexander and Caroline designed. She does artwork for cheap Harry Lockridge, whose wife Leila is a friend of Caroline even though Harry is Alexander’s age. Sarah does artwork for Harry for pennies. He wants her to do drawings for a new book about jewelry written by Max Bittersohn.

I had to wonder how Sarah put up with the abuse for seven years. They used her money, kept her on a tight allowance, and allowed others to browbeat her so that she lived in the shadows. She did learn how to run the household from a worker’s viewpoint, but she never questioned where the money went or asserted herself in any decisions. Alexander slept in a separate bedroom and catered to his mother’s every wish. You wanted her to grow a spine and through the course of the book, she does, slowly.

The family history shows how dysfunctional everyone is. Sarah discovers her father was murdered, Caroline’s husband was murdered, Ruby Dee was murdered, a man at the graveyard was murdered, and two more murders occur that make Sarah realize Caroline not only lost the family jewels but mortgaged the two homes for a secret lover that is now terrorizing her.

Sarah’s reaction to the murders is too accepting. Yes, it’s part of her personality, but when she finds out her father was poisoned by someone and it wasn’t an accident, she shows no anger. Characters need to react, sometimes rationally, sometimes irrationally, but Sarah’s behavior was out of the range of normal. Her husband’s confession draws them closer when any other wife would scream and run away.

Sarah is daring but often stupid as she finds herself alone in the dark or at the second home, Ireson’s Landing near the ocean. She is resourceful and smart so you know she’ll survive all the setbacks life has thrown at her, but her involvement in solving the crime seems forced.

The story had too many things going on for me. Too many people were murdered by different people and so many were involved in the “secret” crimes, how did they keep any of it a secret for so long? After seven years Sarah begins asking questions, but I kept wondering what took her so long? Then she pieces together all the details into the answer in a matter of days.

More book reviews are available at www.authorfreeman.wordpress.com

#mystery