R.M. Archer's Blog, page 11

Crafting Emotional Resonance – Example Critique

In my series on crafting your stories to resonate with your readers’ emotions, I asked for excerpt submissions that I could take and apply those concepts to in order to provide an example of what I’ve been talking about. So today I’ll be showing you a piece of Grace A. Johnson’s writing which she submitted, along with my commentary!

In case you missed it:

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 1 – Character-Driven Description

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 2 – Character Reactions

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 3 – Repressed Emotion

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 4 – Precise Prose

Critique Structure

I’ve never done a critique for a blog post before, so you’ll have to bear with me as I develop a layout for it.

First, I want to lay out the excerpt as-received so that you can read the “before” version. If you’d like, you can make your own assessment of it based on what I’ve discussed in this series and practice your own editing skill before reading what I had to say on it.

Then, I want to give some general comments on its strengths and weaknesses in each category I’ve discussed to this point: character-driven description, character reactions, repressed emotion, and precise prose.

Lastly, I’ll link to a view-only document featuring my in-line comments on the excerpt so that you can see what specific places I would change and develop and what my editing process generally looks like on a line edit.

Sound good? Let’s dive in!

The Excerpt

From Daylight by Grace A. Johnson

Used with permission from the author; context included by author

For context: August and Sylvie, who have been friends and neighbors since childhood (and maybe something more), just experienced the events of 9/11. Sylvie’s dad died that day, even though August tried to save him, which landed him in the hospital. Sylvie has come to visit him for the first time since he was admitted the day before.

“Hey, Sly.”

I straighten, sliding my hand off of August’s forehead as I lift my chin and blink my tears away. My body still quivers, but I hide it beneath a small smile and the squeeze of his hand. “Hey, Gus.”

Just as I hoped, August moans and gives me his best glare from behind all the bandages. “How many times…do I gotta tell ya to stop—stop callin’ me Gus? For Pete’s sake, Sly, show a man…some respect when he’s laid up like this.”

His response elicits a laugh, one that’s moist and rueful, but still a laugh. I’ll take it. “Y’know you love it, Gussie. Just like you know you’re enjoyin’ three squares a day and round-the-clock room service from all these pretty nurses.”

“Pfft, pretty nurses?” He coughs out his next words. “Them harpies…ain’t doin’ nothin’ but shoving crap up my mouth and nose and all in my veins. Nothin’ pretty ’bout dat, gurl. Now—” he manages to lift his index finger and wiggle it around “—ya know what would be nice? Pizza, my couch, and the TV remote.”

“You’re becomin’ more of a bum every day, August Moreno, and I doubt your recent injuries will do anything to help that.”

“Don’t you call me a bum, woman,” he growls, those eyes of his narrowed into dark, smoldering slits.

Gosh, I love it when he looks at me like that. Part teasing, part angry, part…almost hungry, really. As if he wants me as bad as I want him.

But we’re just friends. Best friends. And the only people we have left in Manhattan, now that his mama moved back to the Bronx in the spring and Dad died.

Even if I wish we could be more. Even if I pray we could be more, need us to be more…because when I thought he was gone, I’d never felt so empty. Like a piece of my heart was ripped out of me and I was left with nothing but a gaping hole in its place.

Maybe this is it, our beginning…our new beginning. Maybe something better, something stronger could come out of the ashes and the debris.

My gaze snags on the monitors beside me, beeping just a tiny bit faster now that August is awake and chattering. As steady as he seems right now, his blood pressure is still too low and his heart rate a couple of beats off. And you can tell by looking at him and his sallow skin, sunken chest, and bloodshot eyes.

Or maybe we would just continue to deteriorate.

God, everything’s got to be all right. It’s just got to. I…I want to marry this man and have his babies and grow old with him…and I can’t do that if he gives up on me. You got to give him strength, Lord, please.

Please.

What a simple word. Sometimes it holds the power to change a heart.

And sometimes it’s absolutely worthless.

Right now, after all this, I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t worthless after all.

“Sylvie.”

I lift my bleary eyes to August’s, holding my gaze firm even though I want to lay my head on him again and cry some more. I have to be strong. For him.

“Hey, we made it. We…we made it out. So many others back there…they weren’t as lucky.”

Really? That was the most encouraging thing he could come up with?

I sniffle, swiping at my wet eyes and running nose with the back of my hand. “That s’posed to make me feel betta? ‘Cause it ain’t helpin’ none.”

He just looks at me. You know those looks—you probably get them from your mama—the ones where they kind of cock their head and edge one eyebrow up and slant their mouth and just…look at you.

I hate those looks. Makes me squirm, which, come to think of it, is probably the point.

“I know…I know I shoulda got your old man out in time, but there ain’t no goin’ back. What matters…what matters is that you’re still here, Sylvie. Right now…” He sighs, clenching his teeth as though barring whatever else he wants to say from leaving his lips. “I did it for you, ya know. I wanted, I wanted him out of there for you. I guess because I thought th-that maybe this would change things. Maybe this’d fix ’em.”

My heart, as if there’s anything still left of it, breaks a little more. “Don’t. Don’t go there. You could’ve died because of me. Because you, you thought that rescuing my pops would somehow make him—what? Stop drinkin’? Quit hittin’ me? You can’t just fix people, and you can’t just expect somethin’ like this to make things better. I mean, really? Have you seen the world? Thousands of people are dead. More are dyin’. Like you.”

Blinking several times, he seems to deflate as his body sinks farther into the bed, the pillow almost swallowing his head. “I ain’t dyin’, Sly. I can’t. Not now. Just…not now,” he breathes out on a yawn, his eyes shuttering closed and releasing a drop of moisture to trail down his cheek.

Broad Critique

This is a good scene in which to practice emotion: it’s post-tragedy, the characters feel strongly about each other, the characters feel strongly about what’s happened to them, and August’s health provides additional tension.

But the scene, as-written, doesn’t make me feel much of that emotion. Fortunately, that’s what this sort of editing is for, whether you’re self-editing or have the help of an editor.

Character-Driven Description

There isn’t a lot of description here to critique; this is a very dialogue-heavy scene. What is there is largely focused on August and his health, which makes sense for Sylvie’s POV.

Because the two know each other so well and Sylvie is attracted to August, I would love to see more description of August’s appearance and maybe even his voice. The fact that he’s injured provides an excellent opportunity to compare his weakened self with what he normally looks like, comparing his sallow skin to its usual ruddy tan or his weakened grip to his usually steady touch (etc.).

Description like this early in the scene would especially help to set up their romantic affection before Sylvie’s thoughts of being in love with August pop up in the middle of the scene.

Character Reactions

Most of the reactions in this scene feel natural. The easy banter between Sylvie and August feels like that of friends who’ve known each other for years, and most of their physical reactions make sense.

To really amp up the emotion in this scene, I would have liked to see more by way of physical reactions. Tension in Sylvie’s shoulders releasing when she laughed, or easier breathing; August attempting to return Sylvie’s squeezing of his hand; etc.

Two places didn’t seem as smooth. One was Sylvie’s thought of her dad dying. Even with her relationship with her dad being what it was, there should have been much more shock and pain involved in the thought that he’d died, especially with his death being so recent. The fact that it nearly disappears amidst Sylvie’s romantic musings kills the potential emotion there—and the emotional conflict that could be explored.

Second was Sylvie’s outburst when August explained his motivation toward the end. It seemed inconsistent with her prior thoughts about their relationship, and I would have liked to see more done with that dissonance. Again, conflicting emotions have so much potential.

I did like Sylvie’s reaction to August’s smoldering look. A bit more could have been done with a physical response (accelerating heartbeat, having to catch her breath, a smile creeping onto her face unbidden, etc.), but overall her description of the look and what she thought of it were believable.

Repressed Emotion

This is one highly under-utilized tool in this scene. We know there is repressed emotion, both explicitly communicated where Sylvie says, “I lift my bleary eyes to August’s, holding my gaze firm even though I want to lay my head on him again and cry some more. I have to be strong. For him” or where she muses on their relationship, as well as implied by her outburst toward the end which is excessively intense for the prior dialogue. But we don’t get to see that do much in the scene.

When Sylvie would rather be crying, there’s no tremble in her lip for August to see and respond to, no blinking for him to notice and ask about. He doesn’t pick up on her mood like a long-time friend or a love interest would. Even if Sylvie doesn’t notice those subconscious responses in herself, August ought to.

Her outburst, too, has no communicated emotion underlying it. We don’t see her fear (whether in her acknowledgement or an accelerated heartbeat or a frantic grab for August’s hand…), we don’t see how she feels about her father (is she angry or resigned to the way he treated her?), and we don’t really see why she thinks people can’t be changed. When she’s criticizing August’s idea that this event could change things for them, she doesn’t give any indication that she even subconsciously realizes she’s criticizing the same thing she’s already been thinking (“Maybe something better, something stronger could come out of the ashes and the debris”); there’s no uneasiness, no snagging of her mind on the dissonance, forcing her to either acknowledge it or reason around it. This is a prime opportunity to show more of her character and the way she works through inconsistencies in her thinking, and I would love to see that utilized.

Precise Prose

This particular character perspective doesn’t demand as much precision in wording as some others might—the character’s dialect isn’t especially precise, and to make the bits of prose too clean when the dialogue is not would simply clash. In fact, Sylvie’s description of August’s sickly appearance might be a little too perfect, with words like “sallow.” That’s a great word; the only question is whether Sylvie would use it. So, by and large, I don’t have much to say on the precision of the wording in this scene.

However, there was one spot that really arrested my attention on this point, and it’s this line:

“Don’t you call me a bum, woman,” he growls, those eyes of his narrowed into dark, smoldering slits.

Between describing his voice as a “growl” and his eyes as “slits,” this sounds aggressive and hostile. Not like something attractive, as Sylvie describes it in the following paragraph. The simple change of saying that “those eyes of his narrow into a dark smolder” shifts the focus to a noun that implies more attraction and less of a sinister anger. With just that small change, the “growl” is contextually less hostile as well.

The Line Edit

The line edit document carries a lot of overlapping comments to those I went over here, but it places them into more precise context of the scene so that you can better see how the scene would change when edited straight down. Plus, I made a few technical edits as I went and I formatted my comments as I would ordinarily put them on a manuscript for a client. So if you’d like to see my comments in that format, check out the document.

I hope this example was helpful to illustrate the concepts I’ve laid out in this series! Feel free to post any lingering questions in the comments, or send me a message; I’d love to talk with you!

Looking for professional edits on a full manuscript? Check out my rates and book your spot!

Book now!

The post Crafting Emotional Resonance – Example Critique appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 4 – Precise Prose

Today marks the end of this series on writing emotionally resonant scenes and stories! There will be one more related post in a few weeks that covers writing effective dialogue—plus a critique post next week that provides insight into how all of these tips can be applied—but this will be the last how-to post that’s officially part of the series. Today I want to talk about how your prose can make or break the tone and emotion of your writing.

I’ve talked about why I love classic literature before, and one of the reasons is that classic authors took word choice very seriously. They made a point to choose exactly the right words to convey their meaning, connect to their themes, and highlight the emotion they wanted to resonate with readers. Mark Twain said well that,

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

As authors, we know that words have power. This is certainly as true on the micro level as it is true of story as a whole! Yet our specific word choice within stories, within scenes, within sentences is often less careful than it could be, and our stories—and their impact on readers, by extension—suffer for it.

The question is: How do we fix it?

Words that Reflect Character

This first point goes back to the first topic in this series: character voice. The way your character thinks and speaks should impact the word choice and emphasis of your scenes. Think about where and how your character grew up, what sort of education they had, what they do or don’t read (or if they read at all), what sorts of people they surround themselves with. Maybe they talk in street slang, or know obscure technical terms when it comes to woodcarving, or they speak with an archaic (but beautiful) vocabulary because all they read is old literature.

Let’s imagine a scene from two different perspectives. Say, a bustling seaport from the POV of a sailing merchant and the POV of a noble scholar.

The thunder of chatter and horse hooves scraped against my ears like a knife against a barnacle soon as the tide carried us into port. I’d rather hear real thunder, omen of choppy seas as it was, than this racket. Almost drowned out the pulse of the waves against creaking wood, it did. Never could find peace with city noises and motionless ground beneath my feet as I could with the heartbeat of the sea beneath my boots and nothin’ but blue far as the eye can see. So, naturally, I stayed aboard and let my boys take care of any land-bound transactions, while the real important folk offered their chips in the comfort of my Isabel‘s hospitality.

**

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply of briny air, savoring the scent of reality. The smell of books was as sweet, but one needed to get back in touch with the corporeal every once in a while, to let their fingers graze adventure in the real world. The port carried the biggest lure of exploration outside of the library—at least as I perceived it—always bustling with exotic travelers, the curious (like myself), and the grandest ships this side of the Brene. Today I was reading the ships like spines in a library, my perusal ending when I found what I’d been seeking: Isabel. She was beautiful, lovingly maintained, a stunning specimen of the sloop family… or was she a ketch? For all my love of ships and all my study, I never could remember which were which. My mind had always preserved knowledge of the living beasts of the sea far better.

I’ll stop there, before I get too carried away. These are, of course, just chunks of description. And they have their weaknesses (for example, not utilizing all five senses, lacking in specific detail and direct interaction, lacking movement, and generally infodumping a bit). But hopefully they convey the point of word choice (as well as sentence structure and grammar) differing from character to character—and communicating the emotion and background of a character.

The sailor uses analogies and terms that he’s familiar with as a sailor (scraping barnacles, the “omen” of thunder) or that reflect the way he perceives things like the sea (describing the waves as a “heartbeat,” thinking of money like gaming chips), and his wording and sentence structure is overall less polished.

The scholar’s paragraph reflects his philosophy, uses a more advanced vocabulary (“savoring,” “corporeal,” “perusal”), uses analogies he would be familiar with (“reading the ships like spines in a library”), and conveys the knowledge he’s gained as a scholar. The way he describes the ship as a “specimen” and talks about his knowledge being “preserved” hints at his emphasis on biology.

Obviously much more time could be dedicated to this practice than I can put into a couple of paragraphs concocted for a blog post, but hopefully this provides a helpful example as you begin to practice and to edit your work.

Words that Reflect Tone

In the paragraphs I wrote for the previous point, the tone is rather neutral. There are hints of excitement in the scholar’s description, perhaps some arrogance and certainly a bit of annoyance in the sailor’s. But you wouldn’t be able to expect too much of the tone of a story if you were to simply read those paragraphs—and setting a tone wasn’t their purpose.

However, when you are working to set the tone for a story, specific word choice is a great way to do this. Check out this line, for example:

Darkness descended on the city. The sparkling lights of the towers tried to resist, but still it pressed down, as thick and vile as the blood coating Vix’s knife.

Reading this line provides a very strong idea of the type of story you’re getting into, right? It’s definitely going to be dark (that’s foreshadowed—no pun intended—at the very first word), there’s likely to be a lot of conflict (“descended on,” as in an attack, and the towers “trying to resist,” bloody knife aside), and that darkness and violence are equated with the comparison between the darkness and the blood on the knife.

You can set a lot of expectations for a story or a scene simply by using the right words. Likewise, you can set the wrong expectations by using the wrong words. If you were to weaken the above line, you might fail to set the proper tone, like so:

Darkness fell over the city. The sparkling lights of the towers pushed back, but still it lingered, persistent as the blood dripping from Vix’s knife.

Now, this line isn’t necessarily bad. Could it be stronger? Yes. Does it set clear expectations? Yes. Are the expectations the same as in the first iteration? No.

This second version doesn’t provide the same oppressive tone, instead painting the light as more successful (“pushing back” the darkness) and the darkness as something hiding on the edges (“lingering”), a mere shadow rather than a blanket, and there might almost be a fear or desperation implied in the “persistent dripping” of the blood from the knife. It’s less sinister, feeling more like a looming threat being foreshadowed than an immediate danger.

As you can see, the same scene can be written in different ways to convey a different tone, so if your scene doesn’t yet carry the tone you want it to, play around with the wording! Just a change in how you describe the exact same imagery can make a huge difference and take your scene from ineffective to effective, or simply from the wrong effect to the intended effect.

Words that Support Theme

Beyond establishing character and setting the tone, your word choice can also support the entire theme under-girding your story. To recycle the previous examples, you might find a theme of nature as something spiritual in the sailor’s description (thunder as an omen, the tide as a heartbeat), or the theme of incorporeal wisdom needing corporeal application in the scholar’s. In the knife line, you might find the equation of violence and darkness or the inability to completely snuff out light in the first version, the ultimate weakness of darkness against light or the persistence of darkness and sin in the second version.

If you’re already finding themes underlying your description, the question becomes whether or not that’s the theme you’re trying to communicate. If it’s not, is it one you would like to build on and make intentional or is it something you’d rather not be communicating at all? (For example, I think the theme I pulled out in the sailor’s description is a little weird; if I were editing a story where that scene actually featured, I’d be thinking about whether it can be changed or whether that’s a theme that needs to be contended elsewhere in the story.)

If you’re writing or editing a story that doesn’t yet have thematic prose, you’ve got a great starting point from which to practice and experiment. Think about the theme you want and brainstorm ways to reinforce that with word choice. What words or phrases would support a theme of faithfulness? Or unconditional love? Or storytelling as a weapon? Or whatever it is you’re writing about?

Tips for Stronger Prose

Now you know what strong prose can do. The question remains: How do you get there? How do you refine your prose so that it has these effects on your reader—even if they likely won’t notice it consciously?

Read classics. Seriously, the prose is amazing. Some particular favorites of mine would be Tolkien, Lewis (especially the Space trilogy and his nonfiction), George MacDonald, Oscar Wilde (though his themes require caution), and Mark Twain (whose nonfiction is also excellent for its word choice).Read poetry. Poetry thrives on specific word choice. Longfellow is one of my favorites for the way he paints such vivid scenes with his words; definitely one I’d recommend for authors of prose!Write poetry. This is great practice for choosing your words carefully, which you can then carry over into your prose writing.Copy and analyze passages that use words well. The act of copying a passage gives you a different perspective on it and helps you practice creating those words yourself. It also helps you think through why and how those pieces work, which you can take and apply to your own original work.

I’ll warn you ahead of time: a lot of your readers won’t consciously appreciate the depth of your prose. But they’ll feel its impact and sense that you’ve written a stronger story than has become the mainstream norm, all the same. Your prose has amazing potential to make or break your story; it is absolutely worthwhile to practice and polish for the sake of your story and your readers—even the readers who don’t understand its power.

Looking to polish your prose with some help? Check out my line editing services!

Comment below and let’s talk! Which of these points was most interesting to you? Which example helped the most? Which part of this series has been the biggest help to you? I’d love to hear from you!

If you’d like to see how these points would impact your story, submit a snippet to be critiqued next week! I’ll be demonstrating how to apply these points to your own work, as well as giving a sneak peek into my process as a line editor!

The post Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 4 – Precise Prose appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 3 – Repressed Emotion

Last week I talked about the importance of your characters’ reactions to the people and situations around them as a tool to connect their emotions with your readers. I talked about how to write those reactions in general, from the character’s perspective. But your characters won’t always be aware of what they’re feeling—or how they’re expressing it. Writing about those surprise emotions and responses is the topic of today’s post!

Outside Responses

Expressions and emotions that your character isn’t aware of—or simply isn’t acknowledging—require you to dive into more subtle expressions, or make use of other characters’ responses to your MC’s (or POV character’s) expressions.

J.H. Moore talked about this latter option in a workshop she hosted a while back; she used the example of the MC pulling an expression and a side character pointing it out with something along the lines of, “What was that face?” Your MC/POV character might have no idea they were making a face, and the side character’s response can then lead to a realization—and a reaction to the main character’s own expression. Don’t forget that your main character can react to themselves just as much as they can react to external features of the story.

The same can be true of tone of voice. I once gave my fiancé the impression I disliked someone because I disliked a situation and that came out in my tone while I was talking about someone involved. Tone can be misheard or misconstrued, which can foster conflict or simple confusion on the part of one or both involved characters. Your POV character might realize they said something wrong as soon as it comes out of their mouth… or they might need a nearby character to point out their blunder. Which will lead you back to conscious character reactions differing from character to character, as discussed last week.

Another point exemplified by the scenario with my fiancé is that sometimes emotions from one area can spill into another scenario. When emotions go unresolved, they may come through in unexpected but related ways—for instance, while Character A is angry at Character B for forgetting an anniversary, they might be more prone to express annoyance or be passive aggressive about behavior that has nothing to do with the actual issue of the missed anniversary. In such cases, the response is still related to its root cause: the person involved serves as the common denominator.

In other cases, however, the emotion simply leads to tension applied to unrelated situations. If your character is upset about the absence of another character, they might not realize they’re upset about it—or those around them might not notice they’re upset about it—until they have a disproportionate outburst over a petty annoyance.

Consider how pent-up emotion may affect your character, and how it may differ from source to source. Are they more likely to be broadly upset when they’re lonely? Or perhaps when they feel something unjust has happened? Or does their emotion hone in on the source of the issue in those scenarios, leading to minimal spill-over?

Still trying to find the heart of your character’s behavior? Sign up to the newsletter for free access to my character voice worksheet!

Another question to ask is whether your character is personally aware when tension is spilling over into other areas or whether those around them have to challenge them before they realize what’s happening.

When Your Characters Know… But Don’t Know They Know

Often, a character will know when something is bothering them… but they might not slow down enough to acknowledge it. When that happens, you get to really put your writing skills to use with word choice and subtext.

If your character is preoccupied with, say, a love interest, they may be more prone to think of things in terms of that love interest. They may hear particular song lyrics and apply them to the love interest, seek out ways to be close to the love interest without realizing, bring up the love interest as their default topic of conversation, offer anecdotes based on the love interest… etc. This is another thing that your character may or may not be initially aware of. Preoccupations can be pointed out by other characters, or you can leave clues for the reader to piece together before the light bulb flashes on for the POV character. (And, of course, this can apply to any sort of preoccupation. Another character, a stressful situation, a problem the character can’t seem to solve, a goal ahead of them, etc., etc.)

Choosing your words carefully to tie back to whatever your character is feeling without knowing they’re feeling it—especially in editing—is an expert way to get your reader to feel along with your character without needing your character to be obvious with their emotions. Is smoke “circling” the room while your character dreams of Christmastime? Why not have it “wreathe” the room instead?

Looking for help honing the word choice in your novel? Book a line edit!

Book now!

These sorts of tips are applicable whether your character is completely oblivious to their feelings, can feel that there’s something going on internally but can’t figure out what, or know exactly what they’re feeling and just don’t want to face it.

Once you know what your characters are feeling and whether or not they’re aware of it, there’s a fairly minimal difference in what tools you can use to reveal those feelings to the reader. This post is really more of an extension of last week’s than anything exceptionally new, so do return to that post if you missed it or just want a refresher on different types of character reactions you can use—or if you want to submit a piece to be critiqued at the end of this series!

What did you find most helpful about this series entry? Is there anything you’d like to see expanded? What is your biggest struggle when writing character emotion? Comment below!

The post Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 3 – Repressed Emotion appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 2 – Character Reactions

Welcome back to the “crafting emotional resonance” series! This week’s topic is character reactions. How can the reactions of your characters to their surroundings, circumstances, and other characters really connect emotionally with your readers?

Dialogue

For many writers (myself included), dialogue is a character’s first response–especially if their reaction is to another character. Dialogue is a great tool for revealing character voice, motivation, and goals in a scene. When it’s done well, that is.

I’ll go into dialogue in more depth in a future article, so for now I’ll do my best to summarize.

Dialogue requires nuance. People rarely say exactly what they mean when they mean it. We pad our words, shape the implication of our sentences, or withhold information altogether. Sometimes this is conscious, sometimes subconscious (another topic I’ll be covering in this series), but it means that on-the-nose dialogue feels clunky and overly easy to readers.

As you’re shaping scenes or editing your dialogue, ensure that your characters are not only speaking in voice–which should influence how much they do or don’t talk as well as how they talk–but that you’re utilizing subtext (what they’re saying without saying it) and nuance as well. Again, more on dialogue in a future post.

Still trying to find your character’s voice? Check out my list of character voice questions to find their tone and worldview!

Non-Verbal Cues

Character reactions are not limited to words. Words are important, but so are tone of voice and body language. In fact, non-verbal cues can speak even louder than words–whether movement communicates more than dialogue, supports the dialogue, or conflicts with the words coming out of your characters’ mouths. Everything from posture to eye contact (or lack thereof) to general movement to interaction with the setting (as discussed in last week’s post) to any other number of non-verbal cues can influence your reader’s perception of a scene and the emotions within it.

Your character’s posture may communicate how they’re feeling in a given scene–if they’re shifting impatiently, standing straight and confident, tensely crouched in anticipation of attack, arms crossed and posture broad to intimidate another character, etc. And this may not only reflect their current emotion, but also history or a worldview that leads to that feeling in this particular setting. A character standing confidently at a state dinner will have a very different story from a character who’s slouched against the wall uncaring or yet another character whose leg won’t stop bouncing under the table because they’re terrified.

Eye contact can be another great indicator of a character’s interests or feelings in a scene. Are they locked in on their conversation partner? Is this to the exclusion of another participant in the conversation? Are their eyes wandering for something else to do or someone else to talk to? Are they distracted by someone else without even consciously realizing? If they’re not making eye contact, is it due to disinterest, lack of confidence, or training?

Movement in general can reflect your character. Is your character generally very contained and still? Or do they move around more by nature? Does your soldier character instinctively reach toward his hip for a gun or sword when startled? Does your pianist play melodies on her leg when she’s bored or distracted? Or maybe your character just tilts her head or shifts her weight into one leg when she’s thinking, or another tugs on his beard when he’s uncomfortable, or your more nervous character is constantly wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans.

In order for your characters to feel real rather than stiff (unless the character is meant to be stiff), they should be moving around and interacting with the setting, events, and characters around them. Your characters should be more than cutouts and your setting should be more than a backdrop; the two should interact with one another to the development of both.

Broader Responses

To this point I’ve mostly highlighted writing responses to specific situations. But responses to recurring, general scenarios are also important to consider.

What generally happens when your character is sad or angry? Does your character isolate themselves? Do they take their frustration out on those around them? Do they forget to eat (or consciously ignore the need)? Do they cry? Scream? Blast music through the house?

How are these responses the same or different when their surroundings are different? Do they hide their frustration when their friends are around and let it out at home later? Do they just not care? Or would they normally care, but the pressure is too much and they explode anyway? What emotions arise from that?

Considering your characters’ habitual responses to general emotions and stressors will give you a baseline to work from and can add interest to scenarios in which their habitual response garners an unusual response.

Character voice isn’t just dialogue, either! The character voice questions address subjects like confidence and worldview, too, that shape their overall behavior. Sign up to check out the list below!

What Does This Look Like?

At the end of this series, I want to provide an example of how to apply the concepts I’m talking about to an actual scene. As such, I would like to open the floor to you to send in an excerpt you’d like critiqued! You’ll get to see how these principles are applied, how I personally edit, and some ways these principles can strengthen your scene. If you’re up for it, shoot me an excerpt and the name you’d like attached to it (or tell me you’d rather have it critiqued anonymously) and I’ll make my commentary on it for the final post in this series!

Submit here!

Comment below! Which of these points do you struggle with most? Which comes easiest? I challenge you to apply just one of these tips to a scene you’re writing or editing this week and let me know how it goes!

The post Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 2 – Character Reactions appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 1 – Character-Driven Description

Over the next few weeks, I want to focus on the craft of writing emotionally resonant scenes and stories. What does that mean? I want to give you the tools you need to not only convey the actions of a story, but connect those actions to the emotions of your characters and, by extension, the emotions of the reader. (Thanks to Courtney L for the topic of this blog post series.)

To kick off this week, we’re going to look at the details of prose. The biggest issue I see as an editor reading books and helping authors to build more emotion into their scenes is a lack of description that connects to the character. This leads to flat description that readers don’t really care about—and characters whose emotions are a mystery.

There are two potential issues at play here.

#1: You may be lacking description altogether.

#2: The description is there, it’s just not working.

Fortunately, both of these problems can be fixed.

When Description is Missing

If this is the case, my starting advice would be to practice description. Focus on it. Try to tell a story with as little dialogue as possible and use description to carry it. Accumulate powerful verbs and adjectives with which to construct strong descriptions. Read poetry and pay attention to its uses of imagery and theme. Write your own poetry and descriptive prose.

After that, the trick is to weave that descriptive skill into full stories without going overboard and with intention toward the story and theme you’re trying to convey. In addition to what we’re going to cover today to that end, I’ll link you to a post I wrote a few years ago about writing vivid, effective description.

When Description Isn’t Working

If you have description but your readers aren’t getting the picture, the most common culprit is that you’re not connecting your description closely enough to your character. This is a matter of character voice and action (which we’ll get to next week), and it requires a firm knowledge of both your characters and the world they live in—plus the willingness to finesse your word choice to perfect over almost-perfect.

As a preface, just because your description isn’t connecting doesn’t mean it’s bad description. Your prose may be stunning and paint a beautiful picture! But if it doesn’t tie in with the characters and/or story, your reader isn’t likely to care (unless you’re Tolkien). Don’t describe an ornate banister just for the sake of describing an ornate banister, even if it’s a stunningly gorgeous ornate banister.

Your descriptions should reflect your character’s emotions, worldview, history, and interests/vocation. If the character wouldn’t care, neither will the reader. If the character does care, the reader is much more likely to also care, even if the subject of description is something the reader would ordinarily be bored by or never notice themselves.

Not sure which problem you’re dealing with? Book a sample line edit with me and I’ll diagnose the first few pages of your story!

Book now!

Vocation & Interests

If your reader has no interest in ornate banisters or woodcarving, but your character is a woodcarver who discovers something about the home he’s in by the carving on the banister, you can make the banister ten times more interesting just by highlighting the character’s cultural knowledge. What does that information mean for the story? What does it mean to the character? Is the banister carved in the designs of royalty even though the home belongs to a simple merchant? Are they employed by the king directly, granting the main character a connection he needs to accomplish his goals? Or perhaps the banister is hand-carved, granting the main character an opportunity to discuss something within his wheelhouse with the owner of the house.

Emotion

Description in a scene can do one of two things when it comes to character emotion. It can either reinforce what your character is feeling, or contrast with those feelings.

As a cliché example, a rainy setting might reinforce a character’s grief or depression. The teardrops may look like (or mingle with) tears, the rain clouds may be as heavy as the weight on your character’s shoulders, the glistening sidewalks may shine like the tears in your character’s eyes… etc. etc. (You’ll generally want your metaphors to be more creative than off-the-cuff blog post examples. ;) )

As an alternate option—which can be just as interesting, if not more so—the setting might be at odds with your character’s emotions. If the character’s mother has just died and the sunshine yellow walls seem to mock her grief, or if this is the first time the color hasn’t made her smile, or if perhaps they comfort her with the thought that her mother is now experiencing eternal light, any of those could provide great insight on your character’s emotions and worldview and the way they’re processing this grief—allowing the reader to process it alongside them.

Backstory

Description can be a great way to sneak in backstory, as well. Let’s look at that yellow wallpaper again. How might a character’s grief over the loss of her mother be heightened if her mother helped her put up the wallpaper in the first place? Does it bring back memories, then, of how the character and her mother used to enjoy sharing projects? Or perhaps they found it difficult to work together, and your character feels guilty now for not appreciating that time together. Perhaps the walls are a reminder of that bitter relationship and your character would rather just forget.

The emotional combinations are endless, and any one of them can grant great insight into your character’s past. Not only are memories powerful, but they often tie to one another, which means one piece of present-day description could link to some other bit of backstory that appears at first blush to be disconnected. Or something your character may have even forgotten about in their conscious memory until now.

What if your main character thinks back to putting up wallpaper with her mother and suddenly remembers that the mother was acting odd for the whole project. What if she remembers her mother sealing something behind the wallpaper and is suddenly compelled to rip off the paper and find out what her mother left for her?

Past and present can be dramatically tied together through use of setting and description.

Mindset

Description can be a great way to reveal your character’s mindset and worldview, especially when the setting is presenting some sort of obstacle to the character’s goal.

If your character is walking through grass up to their knees, that might not only itch and sting their legs, but also hinder a hasty getaway from the riders chasing them. On the other hand, it may present a great hiding place. How your character responds, what they focus on, and their general tone in describing their surroundings should all reflect the way they think, and this will make the setting and scenario more real to your readers.

One character might describe that tall grass with a tone of complaint, using the most negative terms in their vocabulary. Another might compare it to the waves in the sea, either basking in its beauty or pining for the seashore they miss. Either provides a strong visual impression of the setting and a strong impression of the character and their thought process.

In Summary

Whatever element(s) of character you highlight with your description, descriptive prose ought to serve a purpose. To reveal backstory, to push the narrative forward, to reveal your character’s emotions or interests or worldview, to pose a challenge, etc. Description that only looks pretty won’t connect with your reader (9 times out of 10), though beautiful and intentional prose is part of creating description that does effectively connect (and I’ll talk about that more in a later post). So keep these questions in mind as you write and edit:

What does this description do?How is this description active?How does it reflect the narrator providing the description in the first place?

Those three questions will bring you much closer to building description that furthers your story and connects with your readers.

Need some help connecting your description to your POV character? Sign up to the newsletter for a free list of character voice questions!

The post Crafting Emotional Resonance: Part 1 – Character-Driven Description appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

The Problem with Arranged Marriages in YA Fiction

This post is part of a collaboration with several bloggers to discuss romance tropes and the philosophy behind them. Stay to the end to check out the other participating authors’ posts!

I have a problem with the arranged marriage trope in YA and NA fiction, and it’s not the issue you might think. I have no objection to portraying arranged marriages in fiction, even to portraying them to a (reasonably) young audience. In fact, my problem with arranged marriage in YA fiction is that it is almost always portrayed in a negative light.

Before you get too worked up, allow me to say that I don’t think arranged marriage is necessarily the ideal these days, and it can be problematic. I don’t believe that arranged marriage is always right, I don’t deny that the system can be abused. But it is a system that has been used (and used properly) for millennia and I don’t think it’s always bad, either. While arranged marriage has its potential pitfalls, I believe it also provides an opportunity to explore some powerfully positive themes and it doesn’t have to make your romance read any less sweet.

So let’s get into a few of those themes I mentioned and why I would like to see more arranged marriage stories portrayed in a positive light.

Trust in Family

A common objection, not only to arranged marriage scenarios but also to more middle-of-the-road structures like courtship, is that of parents not knowing—or caring—what’s best for the young people involved in a relationship. Unfortunately, there are situations in which this is the case. Again, not all situations are perfect—or even healthy at all. However, that is not true of all situations as it often seems in YA’s portrayal of arranged marriage. There are loving parents, conscious of their children’s needs and desires, who arrange marriages very much for their children’s benefit.

The positive portrayal of these healthy arrangements supports the portrayal of healthy families in general, and specifically highlights the theme of trust within families. A father who has his daughter’s best interests at heart, who protects and provides for his family well, will have a daughter who trusts him to provide for her and keep her needs and desires in mind as he chooses a husband for her. Likewise a son whose father has exemplified provision and love will raise a son who trusts that father to provide him with a fitting wife.

Trust is an important part of healthy family dynamics, and that’s something we should be showcasing in fiction—perhaps most especially for the sake of young adults who may be in a stage of questioning their parents’ judgment, or learning what that trust should look like for the first time if it hasn’t been fostered in their own family.

(Plus, if you’re a fantasy writer, arranged marriages can be quite telling of the cultural family structure within your created world.)

Responsibility

Many arranged marriages in YA fiction involve princes and princesses who are being “married off” for the sake of their kingdoms. Which is almost universally painted as a bad thing. But why? Why do we see taking responsibility and sacrificing personal pleasure for the sake of something greater as a bad thing?

(I have a particular peeve with stories in which this is the scenario and the betrothed isn’t even remotely unpleasant. I just want to tell the main character—or love interest—to get over themselves.)

Whether there’s a whole kingdom at stake or a character is merely beginning a household as a part of becoming an adult in their society, arranged marriage—in some cases, as simply as any marriage—is an opportunity to portray characters taking responsibility for something and someone beyond themselves. It’s a matter of growing up, putting others before yourself, and doing something difficult because it’s important.

We see very little of this type of responsibility in YA fiction. Characters may take on unusual responsibilities like battling dark lords or overthrowing corrupt governments, but even these don’t always carry the same weight or the challenge to grow in character and long-term responsibility. Characters are too busy trying to decide which guy to date mid-battle, and after the dark lord is defeated, life goes back to normal without any grownup responsibility.

Arranged marriage—for that matter, marriage at all—provides a prime opportunity to reveal the reality of this responsibility and encourage young adult readers to treat real-life responsibilities with the gravity they require.

Growing in Love

Love isn’t always easy. This is true even when people are married because they’ve “fallen in love”; eventually the enchantment fades and love comes down to choice. The choice to put the other person first. The choice to have the hard conversations. The choice to remain faithful to each other and the purpose you’ve taken up together.

In arranged marriage, this work is acknowledged from the beginning. The betrothed couple may not have feelings of affection for each other to begin with, but their commitment will still speak volumes—and in many cases, affection comes along with steady choices to love. (Remember what I said about your romance being no less sweet? This is where that comes in. Just think of it as strangers-to-lovers but they’re already married from the beginning.)

Arranged marriage stories are a great place to emphasize the commitment and work of marriage, as well as the rewards of that faithfulness.

Healthy Communication

Another frustrating element of many arranged marriage stories is a lack of healthy, adult communication—between parent and child, especially, as well as between those betrothed to one another. I don’t care if you don’t want to be in an arranged marriage… so long as you communicate about it maturely and don’t go leading people on because you want to get out of it without just owning up to that fact.

I would be far more tolerant of negative portrayals of arranged marriage stories if it were used as an opportunity to promote healthy communication—especially between parents and their children. This really goes back to the matter of trust that we started with. If the parent and child have a healthy, trusting relationship, discussions are much simpler and easier. And even if the young character doesn’t have that kind of relationship with their parents, you can highlight responsibility and maturity with characters who communicate anyway.

Have your betrothals end, have your characters “escape,” but at least have them understand it and talk about it first.

Good Examples

In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve seen very few portrayals of arranged marriages that haven’t neglected the points I’ve laid out. But there are two that come to mind as exceptional.

Daughter of Dusk* by Livia Blackburne really highlights healthy communication and responsibility in its portrayal of an arranged marriage. That was the first book that really made me happy with an arranged marriage storyline.

Harbinger of the End* by Nicki Chapelway is an excellent example of an arranged marriage done well, highlighting almost every one of these points. I had the privilege of proofreading Harbinger and absolutely loved it, and I recommend it to any fans of Norse mythology and/or the arranged marriage trope.

*This is a BookShop affiliate link; purchases made through this link earn me a small commission at no extra cost to you, plus support local U.S. bookstores!

There you have it. My thoughts on the arranged marriage trope. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! What do you like or dislike about the trope?

Don’t forget to check out the other bloggers participating in Romance Week!

Kellyn Roth – Second-chance romance

Grace A. Johnson – Enemies-to-lovers

Want more bookish content and edifying book recommendations delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up to the newsletter!

The post The Problem with Arranged Marriages in YA Fiction appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

2022 Wrap-Up and Goals for 2023

Another year has come and gone, and boy… what a year it has been. Parts of this year feel like they belonged to last year, and in many ways this year has felt very long. How could so much have happened all in one year?? But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s take a look at how this year stacked up against my expectations.

2022: An Overview

I split last year into three parts relative to my camp job, and I’m tempted to do a similar thing with this year… except I’m not certain where the divisions would fall, lol. I can say there were a lot more “seasons” to this year than usual; I’m on my 7th “seasonal” playlist of the year, as opposed to my regular 3rd or 4th. (Yes, I use music as a measuring stick.)

My “stewardship” theme lasted through some of the year; it turned out not to fit as well as I’d expected, so at some point I fell back on my theme verse of Matthew 6:33. I did a better job of stewarding some of my resources than others, I think.

The lack of hope that I had at the end of 2021 was definitely helped by the changing of the seasons, and God provided a lot of joy through work, my book release, and renewed appreciation for some amazing friendships. Plus some new relationships and opportunities, but we’ll get to those momentarily. ;)

Work was a pleasure this year! It’s certainly had its rough patches. A horse farm job I had for an early portion of the year turned out to not be the best fit after a while, but it was certainly not the worst opportunity and it helped to fund my book release. Calligraphy Guild’s release itself was so much fun, and it’s been amazing to see the response from readers. A HUGE thank-you to my street team who have been rock stars at getting the word out about Calligraphy Guild!

I was also thrilled to get to work with so many editing clients this year! One book I got to work on was genuinely my dream project. I could not have asked for a more perfect match, and it was so exciting to be part of the process of polishing it. And every last author has been an absolute pleasure to work with, with such unique projects that I am so grateful to have been part of. I cannot wait to see where these authors go next. (In case you couldn’t tell… I love my job.)

Oh! And I started a new novel project. It has kind of hit a wall at this point, but it was super exciting to get started on and I’m hoping to do more with it in the coming year as I’m able to turn my focus back toward writing as a whole. Which has been something of a challenge because…

I have a boyfriend. He is amazing, and I love him to pieces, and it has been such a blessing to get to know him better and better, to support him in his interests and his work, to share interests with him, and to have his support and encouragement in my own work. He’s an ever-present reminder that God is faithful… and that God has a sense of humor, because while I was resigning myself to my singleness for the time being and putting my oddly specific “I’d like to get married when I’m 20” wish back in His hands, He was preparing my boyfriend to ask me out. Go figure. (Lesson learned: Put stuff back in God’s hands and His timing will work out better than you’d even dare imagine.) So yeah. That’s been lovely, and I’m super excited to see how God continues to direct that relationship. ^-^

But I’ll stop gushing now and get to the more practical stuff. ;)

2022: Goals in Review

Finish 2 drafts of my non-fiction project

I haven’t even finished one draft yet. However, this project is moving forward–albeit slowly–and I’m very happy with how it’s coming along thus far.

Publish Calligraphy Guild

DONE!!! I am so so so so so excited that Calligraphy Guild is now finally in readers’ hands–and a growing number of readers’ hands! This book was such a labor of love, and I am so encouraged to have the opportunity to hear feedback from readers that it served exactly the purpose I’d hoped for, that God is using it exactly the way I prayed He would–and then some! I truly could not have asked for a better release. Thank you to everyone who helped make it what it was. And if you haven’t read Calligraphy Guild yet, I hope you will; I would love to share the magic with you.

Send out quarterly newsletters

This was a much more manageable goal than the monthly efforts I’d been putting in before! Quarterly emails allowed me to remain consistent without getting discouraged, but also allowed the freedom to email more when I had more content. I think I’ll be keeping this model in the coming year.

If you’re not signed up to my list yet, you can sign up here!

Write 12 new short stories

I announced when I made this goal that I might end up ditching it partway through the year depending on priorities, and that turned out to be accurate. I did write a piece of flash fiction and attempt to start a longer short story, but short stories weren’t a big focus for me this year.

Do 4+ blog collaborations

Lavender Bleu guest posted on the topic of language.

Rachel Leitch and I swapped posts about indie publishing and traditional publishing, respectively.

I hosted a blog tour for Calligraphy Guild‘s release.

I also participated in some other authors’ book releases (Nadine Brandes’ Wishtress and Victoria Lynn’s Once I Knew specifically), guest posted on Kingdom Pen, did a tag, and participated in a link-up, but I didn’t quite reach the four intentional collaborations I’d hoped for.

I do love working with other authors and bloggers, so if you’re a blogger and you’re interested in collaborating in the coming year, shoot me an email! I’d love to work with you. ^-^

Go to Realm Makers

This still hasn’t happened yet. This year it was due in large part to the awkward timing of Calligraphy Guild‘s release; if I’d tried to publish a book in June and attend a writing conference out-of-state a month later I think I would have gone insane. Now I know when not to release a book if I’m aiming to go to Realm Makers that year.

Write for Story Embers

I still have not managed to do this.

Write for Kingdom Pen

Yes! I got to write a post comparing modern vs. classic literature, which was a very fun topic to write on. And I had the honor of doing an author spotlight with KP as well!

Write for The Rebelution

Still no.

Revive my editing services

Yes! And I am so excited about it. I’ve gotten to work with five authors this year, and I’m hoping to work with at least as many next year. I have adjusted my services for 2023, so check out my editing page for the latest details or to book your spot!

Read 100 books

I’m at 58 and counting, but I’m not going to make it to 100 this year, lol.

Read 10 new-to-me classics

I reread The Fellowship of the Ring, Around the World in Eighty Days, Prince Caspian, and about half of The Two Towers, but the only new-to-me classics I’ve read have been Evangeline and The Courtship of Miles Standish by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (which I have quite enjoyed and which have prompted along a poetry habit).

Take 2 CLEP tests

I’ve returned to my disinterest with the idea of college and therefore this took a very back burner.

Have a 365-day Duolingo streak

Nope. Not even close. But I have kept French music on most if not all of my seasonal playlists, so I’m not totally abandoning French no matter what I do.

Plant vegetables

To be fully honest, I completely forgot about this goal. I did not have the energy for this at the time I would have needed to plant and upkeep a garden, anyway, so there was just no way this was happening. But hopefully in the not-too-distant future.

Complete two crochet projects

I’ve completed three, actually! The twin-sized blanket I was working on at the end of last year, a baby blanket that I gave to a couple at church just before their daughter was born, and a Christmas present for my boyfriend. And the hope is to get a few more blankets, a tote, and a pair of fingerless gloves made as Christmas presents for other people on my list. (I’m very pleased to have rediscovered my interest in crochet.)

2023: Concrete Goals

As always, this list includes only the more relevant and/or interesting goals on my list.

Finish 2 drafts of my non-fiction project

Finish the 1st draft of Lightning

The sci-fi novel I started this fall. Check out the book page for more info!

Finish the 1st draft of Lightning‘s sequel

It’s a back-to-back duology, so I want both books drafted together and edited together.

Send quarterly emails

And whatever else I come up with to help and/or encourage y’all. Sign ups are here.

Post at least twice a month on Scribes & Archers

‘Cause I’ve rather fallen off the blogging bandwagon and I’d like to fix that. I’m not sure I can jump right back into a post per week, but twice a month should be doable. (And hopefully I’ll get back to once a week as I regain momentum!)

Fix site shop

My WooCommerce plugin broke and thus my site shop is broken and I haven’t had the energy to fight to fix it. So for now my books are available only through Amazon, but I’d really like to fix that sooner rather than later. I’m hoping to have this goal completed by the end of January.

Attend Realm Makers

I have doubts about this happening due to some other life stuff that might happen and make attendance difficult, but it’s going to keep getting put on the list until it happens.

Do 4+ blog collabs

Write for Story Embers

Edit for 4+ clients

If you’re looking to get a book edited next year, I’d love to work with you! Details and booking here.

Read 52 books

A more modest goal for the coming year, which I’m pretty sure I can surpass but which I won’t be flailing to hit if something unexpected happens, lol.

Read 10 new-to-me classics

More Longfellow, maybe. Along with the C.S. Lewis essays that have been teetering on my TBR, Plato’s dialogues alongside them, and the Jane Austen I’ve been intending to read for years, among other things.

Finish 2+ crochet projects

Probably the Christmas presents I have no chance of finishing before the year is out.

Write 12+ poems

I’ve started four in the past two months that I just need to finish, and I have more assorted poem starts from times long prior, plus I’ve had plenty of inspiration the past couple of months and I’m liable to only start more, so… this goal shouldn’t be too difficult. I just need to sit down and coax my words into proper rhyme and rhythm.

2023: General Hopes

Matthew 6:33 remains a core verse I want to remember: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.” And in a similar vein, 1 Corinthians 10:31 — “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I have a tendency to focus on blessings without enough appreciation for the One who gives all good gifts, and I want to be better in the coming year about remembering where my gratitude belongs and Whom I ought to be pursuing first and foremost. Essentially, the same principle that Andrew Peterson addresses in Adorning the Dark when he says,

“We may want something harmless, but if it’s out of place, if it comes before the right thing, then what’s benign becomes malignant. We want the wrong thing. ”

In the coming year, I’d like to establish a balance between my online presence and my in-person community. I love blogging and editing and having discussions with other authors online, and I really want to do better about fostering those relationships and intentionally investing in the success of other authors. But I also have an amazing in-person community that I want to pour into the same way, and I hope to be able to pour into both with a lot more intention in the coming year.

And there’s a decent chance I’ll be planning a wedding for some portion of 2023, so… that would be very exciting.

So that’s about the gist of this past year and my hopes for the coming year. Now I want to hear from you! How was your 2022? What was your biggest win? What are you most excited for in 2023? What’s your most ambitious goal? Comment below!

The post 2022 Wrap-Up and Goals for 2023 appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

Book Review: The Bridge of Little Jeremy by Indrajit Garai

I must confess that this review is long overdue. It’s taken me four months to get through The Bridge of Little Jeremy to review it. But here we are, hopefully better late than never.

What is The Bridge of Little Jeremy about?

The adventure of a young Parisian artist and his dog. A novel of action and reflection; of fidelity and trust; of resilience, love, and the power of art:

Jeremy’s mother is about to go to prison for their debt to the State. He is trying everything within his means to save her, but his options are running out fast. Then Jeremy discovers a treasure under Paris. This discovery may save his mother, but it doesn’t come for free. And he has to ride over several obstacles for his plan to work.

Meanwhile, something else is limiting his time…

Review

This is a long book. It’s nearly 400 pages, and many of the chapters are quite long within that, and when you pair that with its slow pacing it can be a challenge to get through—at least on Kindle; I may have preferred it in paperback. I have mixed feelings on the pacing in general. I tend to enjoy slower books, and I did enjoy some portions of this book’s meandering flow. It’s a lovely look at the city of Paris, and some of the philosophical themes are interesting to ponder. However, it often felt like there was no driving plot—especially in the first half of the book. I wasn’t invested in the stakes or the goal, nor even really in the characters themselves. The setting was my primary motivation in reading, and while that was done well… I would have liked it to have been balanced with more interesting characters, at least, and ideally plot as well.

The characters weren’t unpleasant (with intentional exceptions), but for the most part they weren’t anything special. Jeremy’s narrative voice seemed inconsistent as far as how mature he sounded, and he rarely sounded like a 12-year-old. Leon, the dog, seemed to have far too human an intelligence. Paolo was intriguing, but we didn’t really get to see much of his character. And the rest were mostly just… there. There was little depth to any of the characters, really. And many exchanges of dialogue—especially between Jeremy and his mother—were extremely flat and unbroken by movement, which could make them hard to follow.

More interest did arise in the plot later in the book, as more conflict arose that had to be directly faced. But it didn’t feel like it fully wove in with the more internal conflict of the main plot, so the weaving of the two at the very end felt rather unsuccessful. And the ending as a whole was… odd. It seemed to continue longer than necessary after the primary conflict was resolved, and then the very end seemed unnecessary and a little weird. The religious undertones toward the end were very odd; they seemed inconsistent. And Jeremy’s perception of the painting as a being was reasonable at first but grew rather extreme in the last few chapters.

For the beautiful exploration of Paris and the interesting philosophical ideas sprinkled through the book, I can give The Bridge of Little Jeremy three stars, but I wouldn’t need to read it a second time.

Here’s a quote I did like:

Each of these roses is as beautiful as the one on that mound of compost, but, cramped together here, none of them stands out as distinct. And they don’t have the contrast of that ugly mass of compost to nourish their beauty.

Add on Goodreads | Purchase on Amazon

Want to get book reviews and other bookish content delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up to my reading newsletter!

The post Book Review: The Bridge of Little Jeremy by Indrajit Garai appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

Worldbuilding for a First Draft

Worldbuilding can present a number of challenges—often different for each author—but one that seems to be a universal struggle is the challenge of knowing how much worldbuilding to do before you start a writing project. Whether you’re an author who gets sucked into the worldbuilding and has trouble getting into the actual writing process, or an author who leans into the writing process and finds later that their worlds don’t have as much depth as intended, hopefully this post will be a help and encouragement on the subject of worldbuilding for the sake of drafting.

Enough is Enough

You don’t need to know everything before you start writing.

Those of you who prefer to dive into drafting are probably relieved right now, while those of you who (like me) can worldbuild for weeks on end might be grumbling that now you have to set it aside and actually write something.

But seriously, you only need to know enough to write your story. I know that’s pretty vague on its own, so let me give you some examples. If you’re writing about royalty and court intrigue, you should probably know a lot about the government of your culture, etiquette, titles, wardrobe… Those things that will be relevant to the characters and plot of your story.

If, however, your story focuses on a small town and calligraphers’ involvement with the world’s magic system, you’ll need to know a lot less about government and a lot more about your world’s magic system, the work environments of your world, and the relevant wildlife in that area of the world.

Develop what you need to understand the story; set aside the rest.

Theme & Atmosphere

Worldbuilding doesn’t only shape the characters and plot. It can also be important to develop elements of your world based on the themes you want to explore and the atmosphere you want to invoke. If you want to write a story with strong family themes, you’ll need to look at family structure in your culture. Or you might discover that the community-centric atmosphere of your culture requires you to rethink the education within that culture (been there, done that). If you’re writing a coming-of-age story, you’ll need to know what that means within your character’s world. If you want your society to have a particular look, architecture or fashion might be important to focus on.

Some of these will be secondary for a first draft. While thematic elements tend to be important for the structure of a story, more atmospheric details can usually be woven in later. And some things you won’t even notice are necessary until later in the writing process (as with the educational system in Calligraphy Guild, which didn’t strike me until a few drafts in). But we’ll discuss that a bit more in a moment.

Keep Notes While Worldbuilding

This applies especially to authors who lean into their worldbuilding more than their drafting, but it’s applicable to both types of writers. All worldbuilding is interconnected, stemming from particular values or driving details and branching out in all sorts of directions, which makes it really easy to get distracted with irrelevant information

My best solution to this is to make notes to expand on later. Mention something that cropped up, outline anything that pops into your head right away, and then set it aside and go back to the most crucial parts of your worldbuilding for this project. Once the project is drafted, you can come back and explore those extra areas to your heart’s content!

Keep Notes While Writing

Not only will extra things pop up while you’re worldbuilding, but you’ll almost certainly end up improvising details in your book that you didn’t initially realize would be important. You don’t want to lose those! It’s just as important to keep notes as you write as during the worldbuilding process, to ensure you keep all of your information together so you can find it later and expand on it where needed (or desired).

Personally, I keep all of my worldbuilding notes in a running document and move them from there to World Anvil*, as the mood strikes to collate them in a more orderly fashion.

*This is an affiliate link, which means I earn a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase a subscription within 15 days

Whether you notice and write down these new details as you’re drafting or go back through with a later read-through to collect them, it will help you with continuity in any other projects you write in that world—plus the world for its own sake—to ensure all of your information is in one place.

Background Depth

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with building more world than you need—unless it’s interfering with your ability to get the book written. In fact, fleshing out more than you need can add to the depth of the world as those outside details bleed into your story in casual allusions to outside conflicts, neighboring cities, past history, etc

These allusions won’t always crop up (and they certainly shouldn’t be forced), but there’s a good chance of outside details coming up in small ways that will add to the feel of your world as an organic entity and can help to establish future stories that may focus on those areas more directly.

If you’re likely to get distracted by your world, these outer details are generally better to build up after a draft or two.

Want to learn more about how to create a world that feels real without devoting months to developing every detail? Get The Worldbuilding Toolbox for just $15!

There you have it: my five tips for developing a world you can promptly write in. Which of these did you find most helpful? Are you an author who leans toward drafting or who leans toward worldbuilding? What are your best tips and tricks for setting up worlds for writing projects? Comment below and let’s chat!

The post Worldbuilding for a First Draft appeared first on Scribes & Archers.

How Should Christians Write About… Magic?

Magic can be a hot-button topic in Christian fantasy circles. Is magic ever okay? What is the difference between the magic in Lord of the Rings and the magic in Harry Potter? Should we just avoid it all? Does the faith of the author make a difference?

As with the other topics addressed in this series, magic in fiction is a matter of personal conviction and the intention of these posts is not to tell you what to think but rather to pose food for thought and my personal understanding of the topic based on what I see in Scripture.

To start with, I want to highlight a few different categories of “magic,” because I think a lot of conflict arises when we’re unclear about what we mean by “magic.”

I tend to see three categories of “magic” in fiction. There’s “magic” that comes directly from the world’s God-figure, “magic” that is built into the world (which thus comes indirectly from the world’s God-figure), and there’s the type of magic condemned in the Bible which is an attempt at gaining power apart from God (usually through outright evil/demonic methods).

Magic #1: Divine Intervention

“Magic” #1 would involve things like miracles or a river that’s given supernatural properties. This category encompasses things that have been specifically put in place by God and are acknowledged as such, generally things that cannot be explained any other way. Miraculous healing in a world where healing abilities are unheard of, the sudden blinding of an enemy army (2 Kings 6), speaking a foreign language without knowing that language, etc.

I doubt most Christians would have a problem with this sort of “magic,” unless it’s called such in a story and the simple name trips them up. While I don’t see the point in throwing out “magic” simply due to its title (whatever category is discussed), it may be more considerate to write miracles and the like without using the word “magic” so as to avoid confusion.

Magic #2: Part of the World’s Make-Up

This category would encompass most fantasy magic systems and refers to abilities or boons that are inherent to a world, built in by its creator. “Magic” #2 would include, for instance, my many magic systems which are passed down through genetics or are otherwise a part of the world’s inherent make-up. “Magic” in my sci-fi world, for instance, is a semi-sentient life form that lives in humans like a symbiote, interacting with a particular gene to grant people supernatural abilities. It’s something that was created with the world by the Creator and therefore is, indirectly, a gift from him.

This category would be more of a fantastical science than magic, since it’s as natural to the world as gravity, though we often refer to it as “magic” for its difference from the real world. I don’t think a fantasy world has to adhere to the same limitations as the real world as far as what is naturally possible, so I don’t see anything wrong with this category.

When creating a “natural” magic system, authors should be careful that it doesn’t too closely resemble real-world magic. Magic systems that are clearly fictional aren’t likely to gain any serious imitators, but something that dabbles too closely to real-world witchcraft, even if it’s built into the world, could be a stumbling block. (This is, to the best of my understanding, one of the main reasons for Christian objections to Harry Potter’s magic system.)

Inherent magic systems also ought to have clear limitations, the bounds of which cannot be crossed without consequences. Attempts to cross these bounds might be categorized with Magic #3, which brings us to…

Magic #3: Stolen Power

Magic #3 is the only one I believe is wrong. This would be magic along the same lines as real-world witchcraft and would be anything otherworldly (for the fantasy world) and evil, as well as anything that involves characters trying to gain power without God/through unnatural means. Allying with darkness, dabbling with death, etc. Even trying to do something good, but pursuing means other than what the world’s God-figure has provided, would qualify as sinful.

I suspect this will be the most controversial part of this post, but I think even this type of magic can be written… ONLY so long as it’s shown to be evil and the author is verrrrrrrry careful about how deep they go. As with other sin, magic can be written about without being gratuitous or participating in the sin. Don’t write spells. Don’t describe seances in vivid detail. But if magic is not going to tempt you or your intended audience, if you’re writing it as the evil it is and revealing its consequences, if you write to expose the works of darkness (Eph. 5:11), if you’re called to expose this particular evil, then go ahead and approach with caution and discretion.

Circumventing the world’s God-figure isn’t the only way characters might try to steal power; they might instead try to harness the God-figure’s power themselves, outside of the intended design (take Acts 8:9-25 as an example). This might include things like bending “magical” resources to their own will or altering their genes to harness a genetic ability. (This latter example is the biggest error in my sci-fi world, where a company forces the world’s “magic” symbiote to latch onto people’s genes to create super-soldiers.)

Personally, I think the safest way to approach this issue within a fantasy world is to make use of a distinct “natural” magic system and reveal the consequences of operating beyond its boundaries, without venturing too close to real-world witchcraft—the great thing about fantasy is that it provides opportunities to explore themes like this without the real-world trappings—but I think that each option can have its place in revealing the darkness and consequences of seeking power apart from God and the gifts He’s already given us (again, carefully and with care to communicate expectations to readers, as with false religions).

Application

With any type of magic in fiction, it’s your responsibility to be clear on the boundaries of your world and the cultures within it, to know how those boundaries do or don’t parallel boundaries in the real world, and to make those boundaries and differences (where applicable) clear to your intended audience.

If you want to reveal the hazards of stealing power by way of a culture that doesn’t see anything wrong with it, you need some way to make clear to the reader that what’s fine in this culture is not just fine altogether (through consequences, a contrasting worldview, etc).

If there is some magic in your world that you think is fine within a fantasy world but would be hazardous in the real world, there needs to be a clear distinction between the rules of one world and the other. The positively-viewed magic system within the fantasy world ought not be similar enough to real-world magic or its trappings to mislead the reader. If a magic system can be intentionally imitated in the real world, it’s probably not a good idea to portray it as a good thing. If, however, your magic system is clearly fantastical (and both you and your readers are clear on the rules of both the real world and your created world), you probably don’t have much to worry about.

What do you think? Is there anything you think I missed? Do you agree with my categories? Share your comments and/or questions below!

Want more help tying your worldview into the world you’ve built? Sign up to my newsletter for access to my list of worldview focus questions to help you shape a world that reflects your values!

The post How Should Christians Write About… Magic? appeared first on Scribes & Archers.