Rachel Toor's Blog, page 6

Cool painting from friend of a friend of a friend

Novel coming out in June from Farrar, Straus and Giroux

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Novel coming out in June from Farrar, Strauss and Giroux

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Meaningful and civil discourse with a Fox News watcher

My column in this month's Running Times has already provoked a number of angry emails. I wrote about how I didn't condone, but understood, the temptation of General Petraeus (falling for a running partner). I also made a snarky comment about being attracted to a man until--say, he confessed to watching Fox News. Apparently, a number of our subscribers are Fox News watchers. I'm pasting a letter and my response here because I had so much fun writing it. And then his response to my response actually made me cry.

Dear [editor]:

I have written to you in the past with high praise of columns by Rachel Toor, but her latest effort, "Petraeus Syndrome", was disappointing. Her interjection of personal politics into the article, by suggesting that she might think a male runner hot until he "confesses to watching Fox News" really has no place in a serious running magazine. And I would be writing to make this same complaint if Ms. Toor had written that men who watch Fox News are totally hot. I'd like to leave my personal politics out of this complaint as it has no place here either.

Ms. Toor has plenty enough writing talent to be able to cover running topics of her choosing without interjecting her own politics. I would hope in the future that Running Times editors will look carefully at all articles in RT to assure they are politics-free zones. I have cancelled subscriptions to other sports-related publications that just couldn't resist regularly interjecting politics into articles over and over again. I don't wish to cancel my RT subscription at this time, I love RT. It's just that this is the first time in my many years as a subscriber that I can recall seeing a political comment in an article in RT. I am very hopeful it will be the last - I'd rather RT didn't lose me as a reader because we both would lose. 

Lastly, it is highly unlikely I was the only person bothered by this, so I'm also writing to you because of my selfish preference that RT not lose many subscribers in the future over inappropriate political comments - that way, RT can stay viable as a publication and I can stay subscribed and keep reading it. These days, any political comment turns off approximately half of the population. Why do that????
Respectfully, 
[ ]

My response:

Dear [ ],

I’m guessing this means you’re not going to be asking me for dinner and a movie any time soon. Nonetheless, thank you for your response to my recent RT column.

I wish I were the kind of girl who could be attracted to a man who is unable to write a coherent sentence, who poses in front of heavy machinery, has unfortunate facial hair, says his favorite author is Ayn Rand, is short, fat, bald, hairy, a smoker, a drinker, a bigoted homophobe. And I wish that I lived in a world where all of the men I’m attracted to are drawn to short, too-skinny, bow-legged, frizzy-haired, aging women who dote on their dog, refuse to learn how to cook, and can’t abide it when students put commas and periods outside of quotation marks. If this were the case, I suspect my social life would be a lot more active.

Some of my best friends are Fox News watchers. I know, from experience, that unless values are aligned, having different politics is hard on a relationship, James Carville and Mary Matalan notwithstanding.

I wish I lived in a country where there was such a thing as “politics-free zones,” where as a Jew I am not wished a Merry Christmas, where kids from other countries are not asked to pledge allegiance to our flag, where the color of your skin is insufficient reason to be stopped by the police while driving.

But I do not wish to live in a country where columnists, hired precisely because they have opinions (some of which may not be popular) are censored by editors who do not share their politics, or who worry more about the bottom line than they do about putting out a publication that sometimes asks people to think—even when the ostensible subject is something as seemingly anodyne as running. I think many people only see “politics” when they clash with what they believe. Politics, my friend, are everywhere.

What I love most about America, and I do love America and the values on which it was founded, is that censorship has no place here and that in most places a diversity of voices, even if it becomes a meaningless cacophony, is part of who we are and how we live.

We could scream at each other, or we could walk away from meaningful discourse, or you could cancel your subscription to Running Times. I love that we have the luxury of options and would fight or die to preserve those freedoms. I probably won’t be dating any more Fox News watchers and you can stay away from feminist Commie-rat chicks who own too many pairs of black shoes. But I do appreciate your taking the time to write.

Sincerely,
Rachel Toor 

To his credit, the guy wrote perhaps an even better response to my response: 

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. Your response below shows you to be every bit the feisty and independent woman that shines through in your writing. So dinner and a movie would be great..... if I were still single. However, as things stand, my wife would likely be a tad miffed if I were to ask you to dinner and a movie, so in deference to her preference, as well as my own desire to continue in wedded bliss, I must, unfortunately, pass. 

Seriously, though, you may not believe this, but I absolutely love your articles. One in particular, "Personal Record: Shirtless Days" was quite possibly the most moving and best running-related article I have ever read in my life. You nailed it. I finished it with tears welling in my eyes and that rarely happens to me. It was that good. To be able to write like that is a gift....

.... and your written response to me below was a gift of a different sort. A very well-written and thought-provoking gift. I consider censorship to be ugly, and I didn't think of my email as espousing censorship, but upon re-reading it, I have to agree with you that it looks like a censorship request. Believe me when I tell you that my goal in writing was more like expressing my strong desire that RT stay on-topic. But I thought about it some more. If the topic is Rachel, or anyone else writing about themselves, even in a running publication, then I'm simply asking too much. Why should you omit pertinent information, political or not, about yourself because you might offend someone? That would not be you and that is not honest good writing. I don't want you writing about a fake you or a partial you. Your articles are great because you lay it all out there. You are who you are and you should be free to write about you and reveal, or not reveal, whatever you wish. No problem.

I have come to the conclusion that my email to [the editor] was misguided and wrong. I would like to retract my complaint email to [the editor] (I have copied him on this email). It strikes me now as a censorship request as well, and when I think of it that way, I don't like what I wrote at all and it is a bit embarrassing to have to admit that.

So if I may be permitted one more request, I would ask that we just forget the whole thing. I was wrong. Keep writing whatever you want, Ms. Toor (as if you need my permission to do that !). I'll keep reading because you're just too good to pass up. Please accept my sincere apologies for running down the wrong trail.

News

February, 2013

Veteran ultra-marathoner, Running Times columnist, and college admission counselor Rachel Toor's HITTING THE WALL, a humorous debut about a high-school senior whose New Year's resolution to get off the couch, put on some jeggings, and start running unexpectedly helps her deal with rejection by her dream college, surmount unexpected loss, and discover her true life's passion, to Wesley Adams at Farrar, Straus Children's, by Elise Capron at Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency (World).

Featured athlete: Me

Hard to believe, but I will be a sponsored athlete the year I turn 50. I may be old, but at least I'll have some great new clothes.

For JPB

 As Fair and Balanced as Fox News

Cicero said "These are the facts, my friends, and I have much faith in them."
He has much faith in facts.
He wanted to make dinner for me. Something special, he said.
Too soon after my mother died, I nearly bought a house. The house I nearly bought had so many problems the real estate agent had to talk me out of it. Plus, she said, it wasn't clear I wanted to own a house.
Too soon after my mother died, I started dating a man. A friend who is pathologically kind said "Asshole!" when I mentioned to her his name.
On our second date he produced a folded sheet of paper from the pocket of his I-am-an-outdoorsman shirt. Politics: Libertarian. Job: university professor. Finances: two homes, paid off.  Health: "I believe life is a pre-cancerous state." "Rachel," he said, using my name like a politician or a parent, "I am a wealthy man." He thanked me for buying dinner.
 Friends had tried to set him up on dates, but the women, he said, were too fat.
I was, he said, his first Jew. He has no black friends. No Hispanic friends. No Asian friends. No friends who are poor. He has a lesbian friend, but he says she drinks too much, is financially irresponsible, and is fat.
He wanted to make Cornish game hens for dinner. He loved Cornish game hens.
He buys Ramen soup by the case. It costs less than a quarter per meal. He likes to get it at Wal-Mart where it's even cheaper, though he objects to the word cheap. He would not purchase a Costco membership, but he liked to use mine.
            At the base of my food pyramid are Wheat Thins and Tootsie Rolls. Having someone make dinner for me, even Ramen soup, felt like love.
On our first hike, I out-paced him. He said it was because of his shoes.
I am an aggressive asshole. I can turn yoga and knitting into competitions.
He asked why, if I cared so much about diversity, I refused to watch Fox news with him.
He rails against the "knuckleheads" who have been duped by Al Gore into believing in global warming. He has four cars and says he doesn't give a hoot about his carbon footprint.
He loves natural disasters and looks forward to tsunamis, earthquakes, major and destructive snowstorms. He gets giddy watching the coverage on TV.
When I lost my mother it looked like a disaster. The art of losing is, in fact, hard to master.
He says "Golly" and "Gee whiz" without irony.
I say "Asshole" and "Fuck" way too much.
He told me he loved sleeping with me. I said, "You mean you like me best when I am unconscious?" He said, "Yes. I like sleeping with you."
In order to sleep with him, I had to take Ambien. Ambien makes me uncharacteristically mushy for the twenty minutes before I pass out. He encouraged me to take Ambien.            His mother used to make Cornish game hens.
He is like my father. My father and I have not spoken for many years.
I am like his mother. "You are nothing like my mother," he said. "She is a mean, critical, evil witch."
He left yellow post-it notes with "I  ♥ U" in my car, in my house, in his house.
He said I don't know why someone like you would be interested in me.
I like Cornish game hens no more or less than I like chicken. I like chicken, more or less.
He would not read my work for fear he might appear in it.                         He said that the Supreme Court decision to extend free speech rights to corporations was "exactly right." "James Carville and Mary Matalin" I repeated to myself like a mantra.
He held me when I cried missing my dead mother. I let him see me cry.
What is a Cornish game hen, anyway?  Is it just a mini chicken? I asked while he was cooking.
He made his money in the market. ("Rachel, I am a wealthy man."). He cannot understand why people would choose to be poor.
He says he is a member of a disadvantaged minority. White men, he says, are being discriminated against.
I have a number of unhappily married friends who married soon after a parent had died.  
Cornish game hens are not chickens, he said. They are a different species. There are chickens, and turkeys, and game hens. All different, he said. I said Oh and felt stupid.
When we looked at the night sky while camping, he could name the stars. I wanted to know the relationships, where they got their names. He told me the names again. I loved Zubenelgenubi and said it over and over while I waited for the Ambien to kick in.
He has documented his life by taking thousands of photographs. There are rarely humans in them, except, he says, for scale.
He called me "honey" and "sweetie." I called him by his name.
Sometimes I think of something I want to tell my mother and then I remember she is dead. And then I think I am a cliché.
He read three books in the sixteen months we were together. The titles all started with "The Girl."
He shuns the first person and uses passive constructions and stilted syntax. He says "A trip was taken" when he takes a trip. "Mistakes were made," he says, instead of apologizing. When I asked if he wanted to go out for dinner he said, "At this point in time I am not desirous of eating."
I wanted to marry him. I wanted a ring to remind me that I was not alone.
He trusts Wikipedia.
Wikepedia: "A Cornish game hen is a hybrid chicken sold whole. Despite the name, it is not a game bird, but actually a type of domestic chicken. Though the bird is called a 'hen,' it can be either male or female."
He bought me not one present during the sixteen months we were together.
            When I dumped him he returned a trinket I had given him early on, a toy that sat on his desk for the length of our relationship. He did not return any of my other gifts.                         Cornish game hens are not Cornish, or game, or hens.                         He has much faith in facts. I envy his certainty.

Recent Publications

"Selling Yourself and Your Book," The Chronicle of Higher Education, February 15, 2010."Race Travels," Running Times, March, 2010."Learning to Write from Uncle Ben," The Chronicle of Higher Education, January 18, 2010."Single-Serving Dad," Trail Runner, January 2011."A Writing Group of Two," The Chronicle of Higher Education, December 17, 2010."A Helping Hand," Runner's World, December, 2010."The Competitive Urge," Running Times, December, 2010."It Can Thereby Be Shown," The Chronicle of Higher Education, November 19, 2010."Teaching in the Pokey," The Chronicle of Higher Education, October 26, 2010. "Hearing the Voice of a 51-Year-Old Man in the Essay of a 17-Year Old Girl," The New York Times, October 19, 2010. "Resonant Routes," Running Times, October 2010."Ode to Dirt," Runner's World, October 2010."Lingo of the Trail," Runner's World, October 2010."How Do You Learn To Edit Yourself?" The Chronicle of Higher Education, September 28, 2010."Resolve to Stop Saying Yes," The Chronicle of Higher Education, August 31, 2010"The Singapore Sling," Running Times, July/August 2010."On the Pleasures of Summer Reading," The Chronicle of Higher Education, July 28, 2010."Wondering How You Stack Up Intellectually?" Chronicle of Higher Education, June 27, 2010. "Hymne a l'ete et a la beaute," Runner's World, France, No. 17 Mai-Juin, 2010."The Colossal Crack," Running Times, June, 2010."'Only Connect the Prose and the Passion,'" The Chronicle of Higher Education, May 23, 2010"Dissing Dean," Running Times, May, 2010."Bad Writing and Bad Thinking,"The Chronicle of Higher Education, April 16, 2010"Riding an Elephant," Ascent, April 19, 2010."Cutting the Flab," The Chronicle of Higher Education, March 16, 2010"Shirtless Days," Running Times, March, 2010."The Habit of Writing," The Chronicle of Higher Education, February 11, 2010."The Good Reader: Remembering Howard Zinn," Inside Higher Ed, February 3, 2010."Cover Stories," The Chronicle of Higher Education, January 18, 2010."Pacing as Soulcraft," Marathon&Beyond, January/February 2010."Floating Deadlines," The Chronicle of Higher Education, December 7, 2009."Fluke Fitness," Running Times, December, 2009. "Your Review was Brutal," The Chronicle of Higher Education, November 10, 2009. "Why I Can't Hate Shannon Farar-Griefer," Running Times, November, 2009."How to Experience the Western States 100," Running Times, November, 2009"Fashion Lessons for Graduate Students," The Chronicle of Higher Education, October 12, 2009."Running Back the Clock," Running Times, October, 2009."Kindling Changes for the Reader and the Writer," The Chronicle of Higher Education, September 11, 2009.Review of Collections of Nothing by William Davies King, Ploughshares, Fall 2009."I Just Wrote this Last Night," The Chronicle of Higher Education, August 3, 2009."Beauty by the Book," Spokane Metro, July 2009."Confessions of a DNRR," Running Times, July/August, 2009."Writing Like a Doctor," The Chronicle of Higher Education, June 9, 2009."Reading Like a Graduate Student," The Chronicle of Higher Education May 12, 2009."Interpreting Editorese," The Chronicle of Higher Education, April 6, 2009."Can't We Be Smart and Look Good, Too?" The Chronicle of Higher Education, April 3, 2009."A New Chapter," Montana magazine, March/April, 2009."Me and My Fibroid," JAMA . 2009;301:1208-1209."Pre-Race Couture," Running Times, May 2009."Apostrophe," JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association). 2009;301(11):1105-1106."The Response Dilemma," The Chronicle of Higher Education, February 2, 2009."The Hope of Audacity," Inside Higher Ed, January 27, 2008."The Body as Gear," Running Times, March 2009.

Latest Chronicle column

Lucky me. Last quarter I got to re-read Ben Franklin's autobiography with a class full of really smart graduate students. And I got a column out of it.

My stylin' niece, Eva

Mini-me, you complete me.