David Hadley's Blog, page 27

Use Of the Barn

During the traditional British summer, it is often the case that the frequent drizzle gives way to actual rain. For those who do not wish to partake of fully-moistened perversions then it is advisable to gather all ones accoutrements together and repair to some place more suitable, and – hopefully – drier. Traditionally, in thes

Coffee Time

My coffee had almost gone. I glanced up and out of the café window. The snow was still coming down. I’d have to go out there soon, into the snow, back to the office. I couldn’t be late again, not twice in one week. She dropped into the chair on the opposite side of mys

Advanced Sexual Perversions – Lesson 1

Now, if you first tether the donkey 73.25 degrees widdershins of the last tupping shed to the left (facing North), then you can apply the parsnip, gently in a clockwise motion until it is fully seated. Then – and only then – you can take a firm grasp on your rod and manipulate it untils

Olympic Level Cheese Ignoring

Spigot Tremblehammer is probably the world’s leading exponent of the ancient art of cheese ignoring. Although there are still several professional and semi-professional cheese ignoring leagues throughout the world (and Canada), many sports fans often overlook it. However, all that is set to change now that the Olympic committee has confirmed that cheese ignoring wills

Open-Air Orgies And Their Drawbacks

Spring is now upon us and I trust you all (both of you) have your sexual arousal spatulas fully-oiled (with turbo-weasel spleen oil) ready for the new season’s round of orgies. It will not be long now before the open-air orgy scene begins in earnest*. Although open-air orgies seem to embody so much of thes

Kindle Comedy Novel – The Dirty Book – 99p

The Dirty Book Available for 99p on Kindle for the next 5 days only: Amazon UK Amazon US ($1.34) Universal link   When his novel becomes a surprise bestseller, author Robert Block thinks all his problems are over… but they have only just begun. Robert Block wants to be a famous and successful published authors

One Last Time Around

It was dark. Dark and wet. Although, by now the rain had stopped. It was chilly too, now that summer was turning slowly into winter. ‘It’s dark.’ ‘Yes,’ Signaur agreed. ‘And wet.’ ‘Yes.’ Signaur hissed. ‘I’m supposed to be being quiet.’ ‘Sorry.’ ‘It’s-‘ Signaur turned. ‘Who are you?’ He turned a bit more. ‘Where ares

Strom Thighhammer – Outstanding Tourist Attraction

Of late LFITW has often found itself on the tourist map for many different reasons – most, of course, having to do with the village’s well-known expertise in the matters of the rude, moist and extremely naughty. One of our biggest draws- in several senses of the word – is our proudly upstanding village blacksmith,s

Space Junk

It was another one of those things. Drenk sighed. This would need more than a formal warning when she got there. This made seven she’d counted in this sector alone. Analysis had shown their trajectories all mapped back to the same originating planet. Drenk hoped a warning not to launch any more of their litters

Ancient Pagan Rites

Deep in the deepest, darkest, heart of the Little Frigging Woods is one of the oldest still living trees in the area. Consequently, over the years – before Christianity came along and spoilt it – this ancient tree and its immediate environs became the scene for many a pagan holy rite. As they knew hows