Adam Davis's Blog, page 17

An Excerpt From My TEDx Talk

A life lived in isolation is a life lived short of its potential…

If you could have anything in this world, and time, money, and distance, were no barrier, what would it be? 

Before you answer that question, let me share a story. 

In 2004, my brother-in-law, Wesley, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia. He loved his family and friends, and he had a genuine heart to help other people.

I learned a valuable lesson from Wesley. While I cannot tell you the specific time or day I was with him when I heard his response, I can tell you one thing for sure. He was a young man facing death who didn’t ask to meet some famous athlete; he didn’t ask for money or gifts, he responded with an answer that is certain to put life in perspective for each of us. 

Wesley was asked: “If you could receive any gift, of any value, what would it be?” His response?

“All I want is to grow up, old enough to be a husband and a father.” That was the response of 18-year-old Wesley, before passing away in 2005.

Wesley’s statement helped me realize how much I had taken my own family for granted, and that I was spending too much time focusing on the negative and things that, at the end of our lives, don’t matter. This young man gave me the gift of perspective. This perspective helped shape the course of my life from that moment forward.

Maybe being a parent or spouse isn’t in your plans, but somewhere there’s someone who could only wish to have the kind of relationships you have today. These are typically relationships you have with friends and family, and that should be enough to humble us and cause to reflect on how much we have to be thankful for in life.

Because a life lived in isolation is a life lived short of its potential, it is only through meaningful relationships and connections that we can fully develop our identity, not because other people define us, but because other people challenge us to be the best version of ourselves.

Relationships are meaningful in life because they afford us the perspective that shapes the most important parts of our lives, maybe not in the present, but certainly the future. 

Think about how you would see your life if you were to look at it through perspective, from a distance, a different angle. It’s not the material things, our accomplishments, or our bank accounts that make us, it’s relationships.

Perspective reveals that, if we removed the little pieces of our life, the parts we look back on and wish we didn’t have to endure, we begin to see a change in who we are today. All the pieces have come together to create our identity.

At the end of the day, we are nothing without Christ, and we were created for more than our own pleasure. We were created for relationship with God, with each other, and to change this world for His glory. 

This is an excerpt from my TEDx talk first presented at TEDx Troy University on November 5, 2017. The full video release will be made available soon. Thank you! 

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3 Ways to Address the “Never Enough” Mentality

 

There is also the mentality of some, who, to them, there’s nothing you could do, ever, to be enough for them. That is no slight against you, and you need to remember that.

What a monster. A ferocious, unrelenting, absolute disgusting beast. You know what I am talking about, right? Expectations, or, better yet, unrealistic expectations (which are sometimes actually realistic, but not communicated expectations, but that’s another day).

We often cause ourselves misery by chasing some fleeting goal or thing, some satisfaction that we desire deep inside that, in reality, cannot be solved through acquiring more stuff. 

I used to be the guy who thought about a short list of my problems and my own life: family, bills, work, repeat. That’s a miserable way to live.  Once I changed my mindset and sort of matured my thinking, I realized that all I was doing was spinning my wheels, I was running but not going anywhere or getting anything accomplished. Isn’t that the reality for many of us, at some point? 

But, if we’re not careful, even operating within boundaries, we can get to a point in life where there is no limit on what is “enough.” But, it all goes back to expectations, I suppose. Think about when you apply for a job. They want someone with experience. Right? It’s not always just the experience; sometimes it is where the experience was gained, and not necessarily how long you gained the experience. Learn the lesson and move on! Don’t stand there and keep learning it over, and over! 

Here are three quick ways to address the “never enough” mentality: 

1. Be Grateful: Think about where you have come from, what you have accomplished, who you have in your life. All the accomplishments, all the stuff, none of it means jack, it’s all about the relationships we had in life. Be thankful, be grateful, love who you have in life. It’s not forever (See Philippians 4:6). 

2. Be Generous: If you went to your doctor for an immediate cure for the “never enough” mentality, he would give you a quick prescription of generosity. This would result in your giving time, money, things, words, being generous shifts our mindset and perspective from ourselves to others, and by default, lead to us falling back to point number one( See 1 Timothy 6:6-19). 

3. Be Genuine: Most of the time, when we get caught up in having unrealistic expectations for other people or for ourselves, it is because we are living or thinking according to a standard that is not our own. That is not genuine, that is not authentic. Be yourself. Be you. You are good enough. There’s enough fakers, posers, haters, and you, being genuinely you, can change the world. 

There are two ends of the “never enough” monster. There’s the end we set, based on our ambition, resulting from either greed, misguided aspirations or plain ignorance. There is also the mentality of some, who, to them, there’s nothing you could do, ever, to be enough for them. That is no slight against you, and you need to remember that. Write that down. If you ever considered getting a tattoo, maybe that should be it: It’s ok if I am not enough for everyone, I can be enough for some, and that is enough for me. 

Ultimately, our sufficiency comes from a relationship, dependency, and total trust in Jesus, and realizing we can never be sufficient on our own (2 Corinthians 3:5). 

Quick Reference:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” (Philippians 4:6 NKJV).

1 Timothy 6:6-19

“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God,” (2 Corinthians 3:5 NKJV).

Image Credit: Pixabay  

Scripture References from BibleGateway.com

Pre-Order my new book for law enforcement, “Behind the Badge: 365 Daily Devotions for America’s Law Enforcement”  from BroadStreet Publishing today on Amazon. 

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1 Key to Success in Marriage for Law Enforcement Officers

Law enforcement officers spend countless hours training on use of force policy, learning indicators of deceptive behavior, and other beneficial lessons to be used on duty, but there are times those skills do not carry over into personal lives. Maybe it is because of the things dealt with on duty that particular day, or the bad-timing of a sore subject brought up by spouses. Now, typically, no sworn officer would arrive on a call and escalate it intentionally with verbal skills, rather, all are trained to attempt to de-escalate a call, when feasible, using communication skills. It’s the approach, it’s the tone of communication, the body language, eye contact, active listening, and all of these things together can make a tremendous difference if applied, not only on duty, but in marriage.

One of the most difficult tasks is the transition from duty to home life at the end of shift. It’s not a fair presumption that your officer should change his or her mindset simply because they are “off-duty,” even if their level of situational awareness and stress level may change when at home. An open line of communication can mean the difference in having a lifelong marriage of bliss or a story of heartbreak and disaster.

When it comes to communicating about on duty issues, set boundaries and stick within those boundaries, and if you need to talk about something with someone else, then do it! Maybe you feel like you are protecting your spouse by not sharing the gory, raw details, and that’s fine to an extent. But, do not allow those things to develop into more serious issues resulting in you shutting down communication with your spouse or being aggressive in your approach to communicate. 

The bottom line? As believers in Christ, we should strive to exemplify love in all we do, but especially towards our own spouse. Maybe your marriage has been rocky, or communication has not been at it’s best, but this is a great time to change that.

How can you, as an officer, be more intentional with your approach to communicate with your spouse in a loving manner? As the spouse of a law enforcement officer, how can you be the best support for your officer and prepare an open line of communication?

Pre-Order my new book, Behind the Badge: 365 Daily Devotions for America’s Law Enforcement on Amazon today!

Image Credit: Shutterstock

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Making Room to Hear God’s Voice

“Now the Lord came and stood and called as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel answered, “Speak, for Your servant hears.” (1 Samuel 3:10 NKJV)

We live in a fast-paced world, a time when everything is demanded of us, and people are pulling us in a number of different directions. We’re the most connected generation, ever, in the history of humanity. However, according to a General Social Society survey conducted, Americans are more lonely now than ever before (American Sociological Review). Can this be attributed to our dependency on digital connections and lacking in meaningful relationships and networking? There’s certainly a point to be argued. If we are missing out on the horizontal connections because of our extreme digital connectivity, what are we missing in our relationship with God? If we are constantly filling our eyes and ears with the noise of this world, we aren’t allowing time to hear the voice of God in our own lives. Busyness is not the equivalent of holiness. You cannot perform your way into heaven, take time to be still, get quiet, and listen to the voice of the Father.  We can only expect out of a relationship as much as we are willing to invest in pursuing it. Allow me to put this in perspective. If you went to an important meeting and were constantly checking social media, or, went in wearing headphones listening to music, audiobooks, or were on the phone with someone else, does the person (or persons) you are meeting with feel like they are a priority to you? I know I wouldn’t. There’s no doubt our society has changed drastically over the past twenty years. But if we are to experience the best God has for us, or as Jesus said it, “life, and life more abundantly” (John 10:10)  we must give our ear to Him on occasion. That simply means, there must be time for us to disconnect from this world and get away with God through time in prayer, reading and studying the Bible, and meditating on His promises. There is tremendous power in listening to the truths of God, following His lead, but we cannot do it if we are never willing to “be still” and let Him be God!   Wednesday Challenge: Today, take time to get quiet. Unplug. Disconnect. Hide in a closet, bathroom, in your car. Find a secret place, if it is only for five or ten minutes. Get quiet. Meditate on the promises of God’s word and watch Him take your life to a new level.  Photo Credit: Pixabay American Sociological Review, Vol 71, Issue 3, pp. 353 – 375, First Published June 1, 2006, https://doi.org/10.1177/0003122406071...

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Supporting Hometown Heroes

We can help our men and women in blue in more ways than one…

Every day, men and women across our country prepare for their shift, at the brink of dawn and as the sun sets, to stand between your peace and the chaos and evil that you never want to know exists. Many of them have spouses, many are parents, but every single one is a human being. They won’t show you any emotion; it’s not their nature. They won’t reveal any weakness, not to you. Their sole purpose is to protect you and to serve you until you give them a reason otherwise.

There was a time not long ago when our country didn’t tolerate much of the things we see spread across media today. Now, this isn’t to say that all law enforcement officers are perfect, but if we’re going to focus on the less than 1% of those who violate the oath they swore to uphold, we negate the good the 99% risk their lives for every single day.

Most weeks I am asked, at least once, by a pastor or another citizen, how they can show their support for law enforcement. You’d be surprised to know that, according to a recent Gallup poll, nearly 3/4 of Americans support law enforcement. I can tell you, without a doubt, one of the simplest ways to express your appreciation and support for law enforcement is to say to them thank you when you see them. It’s not complicated. If you’re able, and you see a uniformed officer when you are eating in a restaurant, pay for their meal. Pray for them daily. In fact, this could apply to all first responders and military. It only takes one person to start a movement, to lead the way, to show the rest of the world that Americans still stand behind those who defend and protect our way of life.

We can help our men and women in blue in more ways than one, not only by helping them by reporting criminal activity, but praying for them regularly, showing appreciation, and helping organize community events to show support.

In early 2015, I wrote and self-published my first book, a devotional for law enforcement. It was while I was still serving as a law enforcement officer. Later that year, I answered the call of God to serve in a different capacity, and today I am preparing to launch my third book and the second for law enforcement. I am thankful for the support of people like Lt. Col. Dave Grossman (On Killing, On Combat, The Bullet Proof Mind) and so many others.

I am looking forward to co-authoring several new books with Col. Grossman through the end of 2017 and 2018. If you would like to join me in the faith-based work I am doing for law enforcement, head over to my Facebook Page (@TheOfficialAdamDavis) and send me a private message, I will add you to the group.

Be on the lookout for Behind the Badge: 365 Daily Devotions for America’s Law Enforcement, releasing May 2018 with BroadStreet Publishing.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

 

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Little League Baseball, Y’all

“Son! Watch the bawl! Watch the dang bawl!” 

Fewer things are more dramatic, yet more fulfilling, than spending time at little league baseball games. Practice starts when you still need a heavy coat and by mid-way through the season, the gnats and heat overtake you. Well, at least in southeast Alabama, anyway. But, what about the benefits!? There is great food at concession stands, wonderful conversations, the thrill of cheering on the young players and seeing their faces light up when the aluminum bat hits the ball. I think it always surprises them.

Now, I am a dad of two boys and a beautiful girl.  My kids have been a part of numerous sports and activities for most of their childhood. But, baseball. Oh, baseball.

It’s the time of year when all social activities are on hold for three nights a week at the ball field.

It will bring out the best in us as parents.

But, if I had to be honest, my advice is keep an eye on the moms.  I am kidding, sort of.

With their huge custom embroidered bags, pastel colored smartphone cases, and fun-size snacks for the younger kids in tow, they bring their “A-Game”. They bring it, every. Single. Game.

At any moment, over the past ten years of our kids being involved in sports, I expected a mom to go full “Rick Flair” from the smoking hot aluminum bleachers. I’d love for you to send me some of the funniest phrases shouted at your ball fields.

You’ve seen the mom I am talking about. Heck, there’s even dads out there like this, but the moms always shock me.

Remember the movie The Blindside with Tim McGraw and Sandra Bullock?

Bullock played the role of Leigh Anne Tuohy, an enthusiastic mom and caregiver of a future NFL draft prospect. It was based on a true story.

The phrase, you are thinking it now, that Tuohy (Bullock) made famous through the movie was “run the dang ball!” Sean Tuohy’s (McGraw) face is an accurate reflection of the face many dad’s have at little league ball fields across America.

Now, I know you have heard similar phrases belted from the stands. We say weird stuff when our kids are competing. Can we agree on that?

Stuff like,

“Son! Watch the bawl! Watch the dang bawl!”

“Now you’re ready. Now you’re ready. This nextuns’ yers!”

“That’s aight son, you’ll get the nextun!”

“Keep your eye on the bawl!”

It’s always shocking when a mom shouts it though. Often, she’s the quiet, modest, and reserved one close to you.

I say this tongue in cheek, but, there is a serious side to this. It excites me to have my wife enthusiastic about sports. It excites me to see other parents involved. But, what are we doing?

Are we trying to create a slew of future Major League Baseball stars or are we teaching work ethic? I want my son and his teammates to win every game. But, if they lose every game but come away with a lesson in learning how to lose with class, work your butt off, and improve, that is the real win.

One of the biggest issues our kids are dealing with is meeting expectations. The reality is they will not win a championship every time they compete in an event. Losing will happen, at some point or another, and we need to help develop resiliency in children. For me, I would rather my kids experience failure at a young age. It would be better to for them to learn how to get back up while they are still impressionable.  I want them to learn why working hard, being consistent, and never quitting is important in life while they are still living with me.

Whatever sport your kids play, do yourself a favor and encourage your kids to keep swinging the bat. Teach them to keep hustling and, by all means, teach them to keep their heads held high, regardless of what the scoreboard says.

Image Credit: DepositPhotos

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Uncomfortable Moments

We tend to get so busy in life, even with the best of intentions, that we miss out on miracle moments.

 

We paid for our meal and were waiting for the cashier to call our ticket number so we could get our food. I noticed a gentleman behind me paying for his food with coins, and by the looks of it, he was going through a difficult time in his life. I never want to judge someone by their appearance, but by all given observations, this man was in need.

For some strange, impulsive reason, when the cashier asked me, “Would you like to add two apple pies to your order for a dollar?” I excitedly replied, “Yes!” If you have known me for any length of time, you know I am a tad overweight, and the sound of apple pies when you are hungry? Well, that was just delightful.

Just outside the windows of the fast food restaurant we could see the beautiful mountain views and heard the whizzing of cars as they passed by. In the background, there was some type of road work being done, and the temperatures were comfortable.

There was a quiet voice in my head telling me to help this man, but I was too busy scurrying my own family to a table. He was probably in his mid to late 60s. His jeans were heavily worn, a few tears in them, and his shirt was soiled. His personal grooming had taken a backseat to his desire to eat, and his shoes were in terrible condition.

“I will have two cheeseburgers off the dollar menu and a water please.” The man spoke politely to the cashier.

We sat down and ate our food and were finishing up when I realized I had ignored that still, small voice in my head leading me to help this gentleman.

Now, this isn’t some whirlwind of a story where someone receives a new house, a new car, or is given all the money they will ever need. In fact, I have been quite reluctant to share this whisper of a story with you, but one thing keeps loitering in my mind.

How many times do we ignore the still, small voice leading us to help someone in some way, but are either too busy to listen to that voice, or we think maybe we are just hearing things, and ignore it?

That day, I didn’t buy the man a meal. I didn’t give him any money. But, as we were leaving, and after my family had walked out the door, I walked up to the man and said, “Sir, I have two apple pies and, to be honest, I don’t need both of them. Why don’t you take one?”

He replied with a gentle voice, “No, you take it with you. You may need it.”

The former police officer in me said, “Maybe he is a serial killer. Maybe he is right. Just take the stupid apple pie and leave.”

“No sir, I will probably just throw it away, plus, I really just want you to have it.”

The smile on his face as he took that very small, insignificant token that another human being noticed him, told me all I needed to know.

We tend to get so busy in life, even with the best of intentions, that we miss out on miracle moments. The next time you hear that voice leading you to do a good deed, pray for someone, or leading you to do something, take the time to listen to it. Oh, and if it is just an apple pie you have, don’t discount that!

 

Image Credit: Pixabay

 

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