Amy Seiffert's Blog, page 4

A Simple Advent Plan For Your Family

 

For years, I’ve had fantastic intentions that have gone nowhere when it comes to Advent with my kids. But the last thing we need is to make the holiday season complicated when it comes to Jesus. And isn’t that what the entire season is about? Jesus—and my great grandmother’s cut out cookie recipe?

In all seriousness, Advent is a season observed in many Christian churches as a time of expectant waiting and preparation for both the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus at Christmas and the return of Jesus at the Second Coming. But the reality is my children are young and wiggly and we need to keep the preparation easy and fun.

So I found an Advent candle holder at Target for $4 and then 4 candles to boot. This was a great $8 investment that I feel wonderful about. Each Advent Sunday evening after dinner, dishes, baths, and pj’s, we light the candle(s) for the theme of the week. One child usually helps light the candle, one helps read the reading, and another can pray. We ask a question to help get a little discussion going on the theme and to stay mindful of the word all week. Then we pray. There is a lot of symbolism you can add with greenery around the wreath and candle colors and such, but again, I am going for bare bones simple.

Also. I have to tell you, we missed the first week this year. I was tempted to ditch Advent all together, but we live by grace. And grace says we can always try again. So we just lit both the first week AND the second and talked about both themes. And we were just fine. You can start Advent a week (or three) late and no one will die.

Each week has a theme, and some themes vary according to the church tradition. You can do your own research, but we settled on the four words: Hope, Peace, Joy, Love.

Here’s our simple advent plan for your family that I’ve put together:

Week 1: Hope

Light one candle. Today’s Reading: Isaiah 9:2, 6-7:
“The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned. […]
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
will accomplish this.”

Question: What do you hope God will do one day? (with three-year-olds the answers are hilarious! Have fun!)

Prayer: “God, because of who you are, we have great hope. We hope to shed our selfish desires one day and to be fully free in your presence. We have the hope of your second coming to turn tantrums, tears, and terrible days into love, light, and life. We have the hope that you will one day restore all things, unite all things, and set everything to right. Thank you for hope that anchors our souls. Amen.”

Week 2: Peace

Light 2 candles. Today’s Reading: John 14:27, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

Question: When have you felt peaceful?

Prayer: “God, You are the Prince of Peace and all calm and shalom come from you. When we feel anxious and disoriented, you have peace ready for us. Help us to come to you and to ask for your peace. Thank you that you came to bring peace and you never run out of it.”

Week 3: Joy

Light three candles. Today’s Reading: Matthew 2:10-11
“When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.” (NIV)

Question: What do you think the difference between joy and happiness is? (We explain that joy is on the inside of us and happiness is about all the things happening outside of us. We can have inner joy even when our circumstances around us are going poorly.)

Prayer: “God, we are full of joy that you have come and will come again! Help us to know a deep, lasting joy daily. Open our eyes to all the joy around us and to abide in you for the fruit of joy in our lives from your Spirit. You are the giver of good gifts and we ask for your joy in our lives.”

Week 4: Love

Light all four candles. Today’s Reading: Matthew 22:36-40 says, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Question: How did you feel loved today? How did you love someone today?

Prayer: “God thank you that you loved us in an incredible way - the way of coming to us in our sin, taking it upon yourself, and giving us grace to be in relationship back with you through faith. You are love. Grow us in our love for one another for this is the mark of following you. Amen.”

May your Advent adventures be full of hope, peace, joy, and love!

 

Gratitude Challenge Day 4

Gratitude Challenge: Day 4

Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.
— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Today's Encouragement:

During my first year of marriage, I found myself often at the kitchen bar in the white house that shared our backyard. She and I would get up early, work out together, and then she would make us egg sandwiches while her baby slept. We chatted easily about anything and everything, egg yoke dripping down our chins. It was a tiny table, a simple offering, a rich gesture.

It seems a table, a bar, the floor will do. So will an egg, tea, leftover cake. Generosity is hardly ever about the content of the offering, but the content of the heart. She wasn’t hurried or anxious or too busy to offer a space for freedom and growth and joy.

When we make space at the table for others, we make space for our heart to expand. We stretch, we listen, we empathize, we extend a hand. When space has been made for me, I have known healing, kindness, laughter, freedom, God. 

Today's Challenge:

What is your favorite table to be at outside of your own home? Take a moment and thank God for that person or family. Thank Him for the shared tables we have been at, the laughter, the chaos, the sacred spaces. Quiet your soul and sit in thankfulness for shared tables you have been a part of in your life. 
 

God, thank you for the shared tables. For the spilled milk and the dripping egg and the laughter and the love and the extra plates and last minute applesauce added to the spread. Thank you for grace, for freedom, for hope in that space. Help us to think of those who need a table this week and to invite them in. Help us to be brave instead of perfect in our hospitality.

Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it.

— 1 Peter 4:9

See you tomorrow,

Amy

Gratitude Challenge Day 3

Today's Encouragement: 

Costco on a Saturday is nothing short of an actual zoo with yummy samples. But a zoo with samples is still a zoo. After surviving the various aisles and backed up traffic, my family made it to the check out line. The cashier was full of life and lit up when she saw me. I almost thought I knew her, she was that welcoming. She told me my hair looked fantastic (lies) and she gave my arm a quick warm squeeze. I felt immediately less frazzled and a lot more lovely. 

What she did wasn't hard. It wasn't crazy. It was kind and warm. And it changed my day. Unexpected gifts are the best. Whether it’s a kind word from a woman at Costco or a friend randomly stopping by your house with coffee and a scone. Acts of kindness come from a place of gratitude. Clearly, my Costco friend lived a thankful life. She was thankful for her job, and thankful for other humans in front of her. Which is THE best. Let’s be life-givers and light-shiners. When we lift up others, we rise ourselves. It’s amazing how sacrificing for others actually gives us life, whether with a word or in deed.

 

The greatest among you will be your servant.                                                       — Matthew 23:11

 

Today's Challenge:

Think of one person you can give a gift to today. It does not need to be expensive. And it's better if it's free. Get creative. Is there a tangible need you can meet, something you have already to give? A book you love that a friend might, too? Just something to make someone smile? A note? The gift of your words or service or time? Don’t go to bed without doing it. Be thankful for gifts given to you in the past that have made your day.

 

See you tomorrow,

Amy 

Gratitude Challenge Day 2

Gratitude Challenge: Day 2

"Everybody has a home team: It’s the people you call when you get a flat tire or when something terrible happens. It’s the people who, near or far, know everything that’s wrong with you and love you anyways. These are the ones who tell you their secrets, who get themselves a glass of water without asking when they’re at your house. These are the people who cry when you cry. These are your people, your middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people."

                                                             — Shauna Niequist

Today's Encouragement:

Let’s start with a lay-up in case giving thanks feels rusty, creaky, stubborn. There are certainly seasons I have dug in my heals and called everything diseased. I have blamed everyone and everything for every sort of situation. And I have stolen joy instead of given thanks.

Chin up, friend. There's a lot of joy deep down there. It's ours for the uncovering. Together. 

Today, let's start with gratitude for our Support System, our All-Ins, our Home Team (as Shauna Niequist puts it quoted above).

I’m willing to bet we can name one other person. Most likely two or three and maybe upwards to five or six that are FOR us. For us in all the right ways. And aren’t we grateful? For the other ones who know our insecurities, our tears, our laughter, our grit and fight, our wins and losses. And still, yes STILL, they love us.

Today's Challenge:

The first two to three people who popped into your mind may be next door or across the country, but either way, you are grateful. Take a few minutes and send a text, make a phone call, or heck GET CRAZY and hunt down a stamp, write a little letter, and stick it in the mail. And tell them how thankful you are for them.

Tell them you are thankful for their love. For their grace. For their hope. For their kick in the rear. For their laughter. For them. Tell them how you love the time you laughed so hard you spit out your tacos. Tell them why your children call them "Uncle" when they aren't related to you. Tell them that they are precious to you. Tell them, specifically, what you see in them and why they are pure GIFT to you. 

Our Home Teams are absolute gifts. Let's get grateful about that. The desire for meaningful connection to others is hard-wired into every soul. When we find those friends, those brothers and sisters, those gifts - then we find a treasure that is cause for celebration and thanksgiving. Let's toast to our Home Team!

God, thank you for my Home Team. For those who come in without knocking and sit with me on my floor. Who tell me it’s hard, it’s ridiculous, it’s over the top. Who give life to me simply by who they are and where we’ve been and what their grit and fight have been. Thank you for friendships that feel like siblings and love that feels safe and hilarious and easy. Thank you for those who are just so easy for us.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.

— Proverbs 4:9

 

See you tomorrow,

Amy 

Gratitude Challenge Day 1

Good morning! Welcome to our 7 Day Gratitude Challenge!

Here’s how it works: Each morning you will get an encouragement and a challenge. When you do the challenge, if you post about it and tag Amy Seiffert, you will be in to win a hand-lettered “Grateful” printable! For every post, you get another entry! The goal is to spread joy and thankfulness and to increase awareness of our full hearts and lives that we already have. Let’s get started.

 

Today’s Encouragement: When we shift our perspective off of ourselves and our problems and onto something much bigger than ourselves, the shift helps us to be grateful! And what better shift to have then to think about the mighty, powerful, tender, Maker of Heaven and Earth. Be encouraged, God is good, all the time. He is good in the middle of the valley and on the highest mountain. Even when things looked at their worst and Jesus was beaten and crushed, a resurrection was just around the corner. God was still good even then. We just had no idea. Let’s find the goodness all around us.

 

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever.

                                                                                — Ps. 118:29

 

Today’s Challenge: It takes 17 seconds of dwelling on a positive thought to change how we think, and then that changes how we see ourselves and the world around us. We can replace rotten thoughts with joyful ones...and become joyful humans. Today let's catch our complaints and replace them with a thought we repeat for 17 seconds. Pull out your phone and find the timer. See how long 17 seconds is as you slowly repeat one of the statements below. 

Possible 17 second gratitude thoughts:

*I love my life.

*I am so thankful for each of my children and I really like them.

*I am grateful that God is with me and He is for me.

*I am so thankful for the richness in my life.

*I am grateful that I am incredibly loved by an incredible God, no matter what I have done. He made me and loves me.  

Or if you came up with you own - let me know. Your gratitude is effecting the entire atmosphere around you! Post about your experience and tag me - I'd love to hear about it! 

See you tomorrow,

Amy 

Guts and Grace: Crushing Crohn's Disease with Diet Only

 

Left photo: Robby shortly after his Crohn’s diagnosis. Right photo: Robby 6 months in on the SCD Diet.

When we found out our 11 year old son had Crohn’s disease over a year ago, my knees buckled at hearing the diagnosis. I leaned against the bathroom wall, and God’s grace leaned with us. Dearest reader, I just want you to know, that wherever you land on your spiritual beliefs, you are welcome here. I just really think God carries a bucket of grace and He sloshes it all over the steps we are about to take.

So here I am, sharing about these grace-soaked steps we’ve taken. So many have asked for a blog post on this part of our life, so here we are. This is our journey. If it speaks to you, then praise God.

It’s been over one year and all I want to do is tell you how WELL Robby is! But first, I need to remember how bad things really did get.

He had stomach pain ranging between a 7-9 on the pain scale for several weeks in the summer of 2018. He battled a fever on and off. He was lethargic, depressed, antisocial. On the soccer field he was appearing lazy. Because everything hurt and he was fighting to find energy. His body was not absorbing nutrients. He had lost 14 pounds over 8 weeks, he was anemic, and his body wasn’t working well.

The season of trying to figure things out, of trying to find a diagnosis, feels like wandering and smells like a valley. You grope around trying to feel something—anything—familiar. It’s dark and lonely. You want answers. But what you really want is the answers you can choose. Not the ones that are chosen for you.

After an ER visit due to severe stomach pain and dehydration, after scans, blood tests, and finally a colonoscopy, my son was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. This was not the next chapter I would have written for my first born son. But we turned the page. And this was it.

We saw a pediatric GI and he suggested a diet of Ensure for 6 weeks, and after that to start Humira or Remicade. This seemed like a big jump to some big medicine with some possible big side effects and big transfusions every 6-8 weeks in his little life.

I wanted to talk about diet. I asked if he knew of diets to try since this was a gut issue. He said there was no link between diet and Crohn’s disease. But after one entire year with the SCD diet, I must beg to differ. What he meant was that there is very little research to support the SCD diet. Dr. Suskind, however, is a Gastroenterologist in Portland doing some innovative and ground breaking work in this field, using the SCD diet to put Crohn’s into remission.

We started researching diet for Crohn’s disease and over and over we ran into the SCD Diet (Specific Carbohydrate Diet) and many testimonies of how the eating plan put several autoimmune diseases into remission.

After just three days on the SCD Diet (mostly bone broth and homemade applesauce the first few days) Robby’s pain went away. Completely. He did have the pain of the “die off” effect that elimination diets talk about as his body was detoxing from carbs, sugar, gluten, dairy, and starches. That was ZERO fun. But he started to heal. Quickly. Because food matters and is amazing.

The SCD Diet comes from the book Breaking the Vicious Cycle. Elaine, the author, is a magic princess who wears a cape and saves leaky guts, friends. This diet is intended mainly for things that fall under IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) such as: Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, celiac disease, diverticulitis, cystic fibrosis and chronic diarrhea. However it is a very healthy, balanced, and safe diet that has health benefits for everyone. Research is showing how it is helping those who have autism and ADHD.

Today, Robby has been on the diet for over one year and he is enjoying new foods, new textures, new flavors. His weight is back and then some, and he has come back alive socially, he is hilarious, he is pain free, his bowels are working just as they should. As a 7th grader this fall, he asked to not only play soccer, but to run cross country, too. This was after he asked to move up to Honors English in the Spring because he was feeling under-challenged. I only share these things to say that he is living a full and energetic life in fantastic health. I am so incredibly proud of him. A strange diet in middle school can be extremely challenging. Middle school is strange enough.

His inflammatory markers continue to go down and his blood work looks really great according to his last tests a few weeks ago.

My son has Crohn’s Disease, and he is on zero medicine. ZERO. His diet is his medicine and we cannot be more convinced. We found Dr. Watts, in Waterville, to assist us in our journey and she has been an actual angel, suggesting the SCD diet right away, which we had just begun. Also, our community has been amazing. So many people have made SCD legal foods, bought his favorite snacks for him, and so many have baked new things for us, I could just cry. The crazy thing is, you can eat all the good-for-you food you want, but if your gut is not healed and healthy, it DOES not matter. We need healthy guts first. I’m telling you, if you have any bowel or gut issues, this diet is amazing. 

The journey has NOT been all unicorns and rainbows. Somedays he doesn’t want anyone to point out his food restrictions, he wants to blend in, and he just wants to be as normal of a 12 year old as he can. Other days he’s really chatty about the SCD diet. Being 12 and having Crohn’s is hard, but this guy’s attitude has risen above it all. Each week has gotten easier and our family has adjusted really well. But those first 2 months? For the birds, to be sure. It’s incredibly hard to flip your entire pantry, fridge, and lifestyle. I cried most days in the kitchen while my son missed pizza. But if you ask him if he would do it again the same way, he would say yes. He would go SCD.

This next section is the nitty gritty tips and tricks and my personal favorites for SCD. So if you wrestle with gut health or have any of the auto immune diseases I listed above and are considering the diet, here are some tips after living the diet through all four seasons:

—Start with the Breaking the Vicious Cycle book. It is your BEST FRIEND. This will give you everything you need. Beware: you will live in the kitchen for quite some time getting your bearings. I’m sorry. But it gets better.

—The second helpful resource was this. It gave us a day by day meal plan. Thank you, Jesus.

—SCD consists of Illegal foods:

*no sugar (honey only—no maple syrup, no coconut sugar, no other sugars. HONEY. That is it.)

*no dairy BUT you can have cheeses aged over 30 days, so all the really yummy ones and you can make your own yogurt and have that too!

*no starches (so no potatoes, no rice, no tapioca…no binding agents that help things stick together)

*no gluten

Legal foods:

*monosaccharides only: “simple sugars” or foods that break down very easily in the gut and do not cause inflammation which are:

*fruits

*vegetables (no potatoes or sweet potatoes as they are starches)

*meats

*aged cheeses

*24 hour homemade yogurt

*nuts

—Learn to google any ingredient, followed by “SCD Legal” and this will also save the day. For instance googling: “Coconut Sugar SCD Legal” will tell you if it’s legal or not. It is not. Honey. That’s it.

—Find support. Our close friends and family started to ask about his diet and joined in making foods he can have. It has been amazing! Our dear friends also bought the yogurt maker and he can have yogurt at their house, too. BLESS THEM.

—Buy a yogurt maker. It’s really pretty on my counter (that matters, folks) and we make yogurt every three days or so. Just don’t forget to add the starter. Or you just warmed and curdled milk on your countertop for 24 hours. I have done this over 5 times. Awesome.

—KETO is the closest thing to the SCD diet. The Keto diet on pinterest is really adaptable. My son has a No-Dough pizza often from Rapid Fired Pizza in town because Keto is all the rage. He also has a Chipotle Salad Bowl: Carnitas, Cheese, Guacamole, Salsa, Fajitas. And Jimmy John’s Unwiches are recent in his life, too.

—Because he can have no sugar or sweetener besides honey, he can’t get ice-cream in the summer with friends. But call your local ice cream shops - they might be like ours! The Frosty Fair and The Sundae Station have made Robby a popsicle he can have, as well as apple cider slushes he can have. Apple cider - he LOVES it. And it’s legal.

—Our favorite and easy go-to’s: Tropical Smoothie is awesome - just substitute the turbinado sugar with honey, which they totally do! We love Spindrift, Cheese Wisps, Fruit leather, PaleoKrunch Granola, some Lara Bars, and some RX bars for things on the go. I’ve learned which meats contain zero sugar or starches and what salsas are sugar free. Thanks to Whole30, which really normalized finding clean products.

—Start reading all labels…or stick to things with 1-2 ingredients :)

—Packing lunches for Robby typically look like: a salad with mixed green with added cut up turkey, cheese, and sunflower seeds and our new favorite Tessemae’s honey poppyseed dressing. We also pack slices of salami, grapes or apples or fresh fruit, carrots and guacamole, cheese wisps, cashews, and fruit leather.

—I highly recommend getting a food allergy test. Our naturopath had one that tested for 144 things and we found 6 items Robby is allergic to, which we avoid because they cause inflammation. Corn sugar was one of them (which is corn syrup, code for IN EVERYTHING)

—Favorite Websites for baking and cooking (because almond flour and coconut flour wear capes on this diet and these websites save the day):

Against All Grain is an amazing resource - just put in SCD in her search bar. Her blender bread is amazing!

Breaking the Vicious Cycle

No More Crohn’s

Comfy Belly

The Seiffert’s Top Ten SCD Meals We Make

Chicken pot pie soup and Seiffert SCD Fathead cheese bread *see below

Spaghetti squash and sauce

Lettuce wrap smash burgers (burger, bacon, Trader Joe’s legal mayo, mustard, tomato wrapper in lettuce

Cheddar broccoli soup (we skip the cream) with biscuits

Applegate Hotdogs, applesauce, salad

Breakfast night: eggs, waffles/pancakes, bacon, smoothies

Steak salad (steak, romaine, gouda cheese, tomato, etc)

Taco Tuesday (make your taco seasoning because they all have asked starches as anti caking agents) with zucchini tortillas

Rotisserie chicken (Kroger, organic with no other starches in it), roasted veggies, especially butternut squash with some honey and cinnamon

Garlic butter baked chicken

*Seiffert Fathead Dough

16 slices provolone

2 eggs

1/3 cup coconut flour

3/4 tsp baking soda 

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/8 tsp salt 

2 tbsp Olive oil 

Preheat oven to 375. 

Melt provolone in microwave safe bowl. Meanwhile whisk eggs together. Then add dry ingredients to egg mixture. Mix. Add this egg mix to the melted provolone. Now mix together...you might end up using hands to really mix it...like a wet dough. Which sounds gross but it’s real. Drizzle an iron skillet with 1 T of olive oil and press dough into skillet. Drizzle remaining olive oil on top. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. This comes out and feels like garlic breadsticks. Or a pizza dough base. Or shape into other possible dough things like bagels. We cut into rectangles and dip into marinara. You’re in charge. 

———

Thanks for making it this far! I hope this blog is a resource to you or someone you love!

Happy Gut Health,

Amy

 

When Grace Looks Like Quitting

When Grace Looks Like Quitting

I often speak on topics that include shame. One of my favorite definitions of shame comes from the Erasing Shame Podcast: “Shame is everything you can’t talk about.” And here I am. Sharing something I’d really prefer not to discuss.

I started something big. I told everyone about it. I was overjoyed and dove in. And then I quit.

This fall, I started a Masters of Arts and Practical Theology (MAPT). I love learning and I really love this seminary (and still do!). I took a first day of school photo of me laughing, I posted all the feels, I got to work. It was a new season. My children were all in school for the first time, so I was going back. I felt led to further my education and I was sure God gave the green light. 

But sometimes life gets fuller than you ever expected in every single direction. And it gets so full, so stretched, so tight, that it bursts. And so did I, into tears. Something HAD to give. And it was this wonderful program. 

I’m a 3 on the Enneagram (The Achiever) so pushing pause on getting my masters after beginning the program smells like failure and feels like shame. The “walk of shame” for me is calling it quits on a commitment. I hardly ever do it. And I have judged others for doing so. So when I had to call it quits? I wanted to hide and grace felt light years away.

But even as I use the word quit, it’s only part of the story. And often the part of the story that gets all the press. The public part. But we need to acknowledge the part of the story that comes before the quitting. This involves a private, internal wrestle. This involves a good Father. This part is called surrender.

Before I made the call to drop my classes, I felt God point to them. Almost like how God pointed to Isaac when talking to Abraham. 

As if the internal question He posed was: Can you trust me enough to give me this? Can you trust me in a change of plans? Can you trust me with what others will think of you?

And now all of a sudden we have a story of surrender, not a story of shame. A story where trust and faith are major players and letting go is just one of the chapters. A story that is still being written. 

So here’s what I know about quitting, about overwhelm, about a compassionate community of people who douse shame with empathy, and about grace from God as you change course:

Living a full life doesn’t mean you have to live in overwhelm. Grace says you are loved even if you just sit there and produce nothing. God doesn’t want you to live overwhelmed; He wants you to live loved.

Figuring out what you won’t give up is necessary. Start there. Giving up being a present wife and mom was not an option. Listing out what I would not give up made space for what I needed to give up.

Editing means freeing up space. Space means health. Health means breathing deeply. It means lightening up. It means freedom.

God has called us to shalom: whole lives, peaceful lives, integrated lives. He didn’t call us to live to the edge of the page, all disintegrated and divided. His grace says we can offload our burdens to Him and He’ll trade us for a much lighter load.

Shame survives when silence, secrecy, and judgement keep it alive. But when I shared my overwhelm, my questions, and my tears about quitting—I was met with compassion and empathy by my husband and friends. Shame couldn’t survive. Each response smelled like Jesus. 

Speaking of Jesus, He was always stepping in and bringing empathy, grace, love, and compassion. He flipped the script constantly. Where I want to condemn myself, He doesn’t. So if I thought I heard Him, I moved forward in faith. And I still moved forward in faith to change directions.

Brené Brown is right. Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our stories about needing to edit our lives. About pushing pause. About quitting.

There is grace for the quitter, and it might look amazing on you.

So friend, may you wrestle with God and surrender what He points to in your life.
May you still commit to the very best of your ability.
May you find yourself met with empathy. 
May you receive and reflect the grace for your edits.

Amy’s new book “Grace Looks Amazing on You” comes out April 7. It is available for pre-order wherever books are sold.

How To Talk To Your Kids About Grace

How To Talk To Your Kids About Grace

“Please can I have grace! Pleeeeeeease! Can I PLEASE HAVE GRACE?!?” 

My child begged me for grace, after she disobeyed me and felt the impending doom of the consequences. Which, in this case, was just to be sent to her room. Here’s a parenting tip that’s been a life-saver: for an extremely extroverted child like mine, simply removing her from people feels like prison. Works every time.

But she plead for grace the entire, apparently excruciating, walk to her room. 

Grace is something we’ve been talking about for years in our home along with words like mercy and judgement.

But how do we explain and demonstrate grace, mercy, and judgement as we parent our kids? What’s the difference between these religious words anyway? Is it too late to understand and explain these ideas to my kids? 

First of all, it’s never too late to understand grace, no matter how old your kids are. And secondly, when we use terms involving ice cream, anyone can get it. Let me explain.

My friend and pastor unpacks these concepts like this: say your child does something they are not supposed to do and deserves a consequence. For instance, your child steals Pokémon cards along with a wad of cash from his big brother’s room. Which may have definitely happened in our home. 

Judgement would be getting the consequence he deserves for his actions. He would have to return all said items, humbly apologize for stealing , and write 20 sentences saying, “I will not steal and will honor my brother’s possessions.” 

If we were to extend mercy in this situation, we would actually remove the punishment/consequence that was a result of his actions. He might have to apologize, but mercy would remove the punishment and no sentences would have to be written. 

If we extended grace to my boy in this Pokeman and cash stealing instance, not only would we remove the punishment (mercy) but grace would go ahead and hand him an ice cream cone!

Judgement gives the due punishment.
Mercy removes the punishment.
Grace not only removes the punishment, it then (unbelievably) gives a very undeserving gift. 

Grace is just that: unbelievable. It’s this tender divine assistance from God, given for our growth and development, right in the middle of our failures and flaws. 

“I don’t understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”

— Anne Lamott

Grace is a big delicious scoop of ice cream when our hands are still sticky from stealing cookies from the jar. And when we truly understand grace, we are humbled beyond belief. We are faced with our own rotten, undeserving nature, and we are overcome by gratitude and hope.

Grace changes us.

So we try to talk about these three ideas a lot in our home. And when we show grace or mercy, we have the opportunity to illustrate how God so often treats us. Mercy and grace are part of the beautiful and stunning currency of the kingdom of God. I am so unbelievably grateful. And I want my children to understand all of this too.

So dearest parent, may you have the wisdom for when and how to use judgement, mercy, and grace. May you be confronted, often, with the beauty of God’s grace and gifts everywhere in your life. May we grab for grace as we try to figure out how to parent well.

We’re all in this together; thank goodness there’s grace for it all!

Amy Seiffert’s book “Grace Looks Amazing On You” comes out April 7. Available for pre-order at all major book stores.

Back to School Soul Care: Day 5

Let’s end our week with getting back to the most basic and life-changing truth there is. Ready for this truth bomb? You are so incredibly, wildly loved by the One who made you.

Just like a parent looks at their baby girl or boy and feels their heart full of fierce, mama or papa bear love—that’s how God looks and feels about you. Your creator made you and cannot help but have an overflowing, never-stopping delight for you. Psalm 18:19 reminds us that “God rescued you, because He delighted in you.”

And let me remind you, friend, that NOTHING can separate you from that incredible love of your King:  

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ”

— Romans 8:38-39

NOT ONE THING can separate you.

Not your anxiety.

Not your depression.

Not your chronic pain.

Not your debt.

Not your past.

Not your present.

Not your family history.

Not your mistakes.

Not your scars.

Not your unemployment.

Not your hurt.

Not your sin.

Not your broken marriage.

Not failures.

Not your worship of other things.

Not your fears.

NOTHING separates you from God’s love. He tore the curtain from top to bottom on the day He was crucified to display that there is NOTHING that prevents us from His love, that prevents us from access to the King.

Today's truth: I am fiercely fought for and loved by a good Father.

Live loved. Know how loved you are. You can rest secure. You can rest in your identity as the daughter of the Most High King who is incredibly loved. You don't have to scramble to prove your worth. You don't have to hustle to have hope. You can stop trying to perform and be perfect.

You could accomplish nothing from here on out and you would still be fiercely loved. This love is not built on YOU and what you do, it is built on God and who He is. That is such good news to carry into the school year. It is good news for parents, for children, for bus-drivers, for administration, for everyone. Take this truth with you today and share it with your children, your friends, your neighbors. 

Dear God, thank you for your love. Thank you that not one thing can separate me from your love. Help me to see the places that feel unlovable to you and to say: despite it all, I am loved. I want to hear you throughout the day whisper to me about your love. You are a good Father. Amen.  

 

Back to School Soul Care: Day 4

“Encourage one another and build each other up.”

— 1 Thes 5:11

In “Grace-Based Parenting” Dr. Kimmel says, “The primary way to give our children grace is to offer it in place of our selfish preferences. A grace-based home gives children the freedom to be different.” This could easily be applied to a grace-based classroom if you are a teacher. Or a grace-based resident hall if you have a roommate. Or a grace-placed workplace. Or a grace-placed marriage. Grace-based spaces give others the freedom to be different and put our own selfish preferences on the back burner.

As we come into a new school year, let’s be parents, teachers, neighbors, and care-givers who smile, remain flexible, and leave a critical spirit behind when it comes to our preferences. And we have A LOT of preferences. So often we lead from our preferences instead of a humble heart posture. Let’s be people who enjoy the creativity of those around us. Let’s fan into flame smiles and laughter and winks in our homes, our classrooms, our work places. Let’s allow our preferences to fall to the side and put our encouragement in the center.

Today's truth bomb: Let's minor on our personal preferences and major on our heart posture. 

Take a minute and think through the last 48 hours. What came out of your mouth that was critical based on YOUR preference?

Today, watch your words, your body language, and your posture toward anyone else in your path. Parents and teachers: catch your children as often as possible in making good choices and celebrate their loving heart. High five, wink, smile, squeeze, cheer, tackle, and love on all the beauty that comes from your child. Celebrate when you see sharing, when you see love, when you see kindness. You would want the same grace-based atmosphere for you.

Dear Jesus, I am sorry for my critical spirit. For my nitpicking, nagging, and preferences that do not matter. Continue to reveal to me when I am tearing my child or others down or embarrassing them or not accepting them based on external things that do not matter. Speak to me and show me the way. I come humbly before you. I need you to help me encourage and build up everyone around me. Show me how to praise and celebrate the loving heart of my child. Amen.