Ichak Kalderon Adizes's Blog: Insights Blog, page 25

Businessmen versus Artists

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on July 11, 2016.

You have probably met artists who tried to explain to you, with sheepish smiles, why they have not achieved financial security or abundance.

Their explanation is usually that they are not businessmen.

I started to wonder what it means to be a businessman.

Some artists are business minded and some businessmen are artistic.

So what is the difference?

Here is my insight.

Whatever we do, there is a cost/value relationship. The cost has many manifestations: energy it takes to get the job done, use of limited resources like time, money and one’s status in society etc. These are all costs one will use or not depending on how much value they bring.

And, value has its own manifestations which are exactly the same as costs but instead of depleting the source it adds to the source: adding energy, saving time, accumulating more money escalating in status…. or we plainly wonder will the planned activity make us feel good or bad; good is the value and bad is the cost.

My insight by watching people make decisions, is that some have an artistic frame of mind and they are not necessarily in the arts. They are engineers.

And what is that frame of mind?

Those with an artistic frame of mind are so passionate about their work that they only see the value and ignore the cost.

Watch them make decisions. They only focus on the value of their creation whatever it is, a painting, a sculpture, a new engine or a new building. They are foggy or indefinite about the costs. And when cost factors are brought to the surface for discussion they become defensive and can even get offended that the value is being questioned because of the costs.

A Businessman’s frame of mind on the other hand, is to weigh, all the time, the relative cost/value relationships. Their passion is to be sure the value is higher than the cost. It is reflected in the profits, in the short or the long run.

When they see value they immediately check the costs in human energy, in financial resources etc. and based on the results of their inquiry make a judgment about whether to pursue or abandon the project.

A businessman with an artistic frame of mind goes bankrupt. And an artist who checks cost to value of his or her creation is a commercial artist. Not a fine artist.

Having businessmen on boards of directors of fine art organizations can be destructive to the organization and its purpose if those businessmen are driven by the business mentality. As a famous performing arts artist told me once, it is business mind thinking that destroyed Broadway.

Artistic and business frames of mind are the opposites of each other.

Instead of bringing business acumen to the arts, because it will destroy them, arts should be supported because they add value to our quality of life, which is not measured by cost.

The most important things in life, their value is known by their absence: Health. Love. Democracy. Art.

You canot compare them to their costs.

 

Just thinking,

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

The Rules Governing Growing And Aging

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on July 5, 2016

The sequence of PAEI roles in growing should be: first (I) should grow and be large enough, sufficient enough for the (E) to emerge.

(E) consumes a lot of energy and (I) creates a fertile ground in the sense that energy is available to innovate, to create. (I) gives maximum energy. Disintegration wastes energy. It is not strange that Artists are narcissistic. They are control freaks. Why? So that all energy is focused on creation.

(E) creates the ideas which when commercialized and monetized, generate the (P) which now needs to get organized, and thus (A) will emerge.

Thus, the sequence of growing is: (I)> (E)> (P)> (A).

It is long-term efficiency, (I), followed by long-term effectiveness, (E), mirrored thereafter by short-term effectiveness, (P), and short-term efficiency, (A). (Why the mirror effect, I still do not know.)

Applications: Show me socio-political instability, low (I), and I will show you low innovation followed by low economic growth.

For instance, developing countries suffer from low economic performance. Aid, subsidized (P), is not the answer. It only masks the problem like a headache drug masks a headache disease.

What they are missing is (I). Often they have internal religious or tribal warfare. Or suffer from ubiquitous corruption, which is another cause of disintegration. Without (I), (E) will suffer. All energy is wasted. There will be no indigenous innovation and no external investments either. Necessarily that impacts their (P), their indigenous economic performance.

The sequence of aging is reverse. First sigma goes down.

Sigma is the integration of (I) of PAEI and (c) of capi. (I) is manifested in Mutual Respect. (c) is manifested in Mutual Trust. If either (I) or/and (c) decrease, MT&R suffers, energy gets wasted, and eventually (E) suffers – ultimately, it will be reflected in a declining (P).

What causes MT&R to go down?

We know what impacts Mutual Trust and Respect:

• common vision and values,

• functional PAEI diversified organizational structure,

• collaborative decision making process and

• mature, self actualizing people.

Thus, one major reason for organizational aging is that the organizational structure did not change to reflect changes in the environment it is operating in. Or it is not structured right to foster all PAEI roles to be performed.

Another reason is that new people who do not command and/or grant trust and respect join the company.

The third reason, with challenges from the environment caused by change and people changes, the corporate values vision becomes blurred.

Fourth, without a systematized and ongoing nourished process for collaborative decision-making and with pressures of time and complex problems that need to be solved, the collaborative process of decision-making will suffer.

Each of the above factors cause aging; together they accelerate the aging.

We can see the causes of organizational aging in another different way: as the organization did not change over time, although it needed to reflect new realities, A=T=R alignment gets disturbed, people’s commitment decreases, it reduces the energy people contribute to the organization, and that causes aging too i.e., less energy is available for (E). Eventually (P) will go down.

If (P) is low over time, it will starve (A) from resources which will become dysfunctional anyway, because with change, (A) gets outdated, and unless there is an external source of resources, (A) will crumble. The end result is organizational death.

Interesting to analyze the behavior of capi during growing and aging.

In growing, capi is first personalized. Then, it gets institutionalized. In aging, the process is in reverse: institutionalized capi breaks down and converts itself to be personalized i.e. a dictator emerges.

Application: I suggest the USA as a system is aging.

It is not a mission and values that integrate us as much anymore. MT&R are in decline.

Obama got elected because of the mass of African Americans who voted for him regardless of his agenda. Just because of the color of his skin.

In the next election, if Hillary Clinton gets elected, it will be because of a massive vote by women who will vote for a woman president regardless of what her agenda is.

Voting by color of skin or gender and not by agenda is a sign of disintegration.

Respect is going down manifested by the increasing adversary relations between the Democratic and Republican parties.

Trust is going down manifested by the Occupy Wall Street phenomena and the declining portion of population that is voting. The trust in politicians is evaporating.

As (I) goes down (E) will eventually go down.

Why?

Because without MT&R, energy gets depleted, internal disintegration goes up, and energy left for external integration goes down. As energy goes down, (E) will decline. Another country that will be more (I)ntegrated will take over leadership of the world. That country does not exist yet but will emerge. So far, India has (I) problems. So do China, Brazil, South Africa, and Russia, the BRICS countries which many consider as the candidates.

In the USA, as (I) is going down now, (E) will go down eventually, and thereafter (P) will go down. The (A) is overwhelming the system. It is manifested by mushrooming national debt used to finance government machinery and its promises to the population.

As (P) declines, a witch hunt against whoever is the president will be the norm. I predict the next president of the USA will have lower polls than any president in the history of the USA.

The probability of democracy crumbling and a dictator by behavior being elected is high because capi from institutions gets personalized as the system ages. There are already signs of that happening. Obama is being accused of making unilateral decisions, bypassing Congress.

Just thinking.

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

Reference:

For those not initiated in the PAEI and capi concepts, and the lifecycle theory please read: Ichak Kalderon Adizes: Managing Corporate Lifecycles (Santa Barbara, California: Adizes Institute Publications, 1999).

Why Politicians Lie

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on June 27, 2016.

I’m sure you have heard accusations that politicians lie, or don’t tell the whole truth. Politicians say that about each other. Back in 1952, Adlai Stevenson said it in a campaign speech: “I offered my opponents a deal: if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them.”

Today Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton are being criticized for skirting the truth. Clinton’s image that she cannot be trusted has become a serious impediment to her campaign.

The theme of lying politicians is not exclusive to the USA. In the fifty-two countries I have worked, I hear the same complaint: “We cannot trust our leaders. They are evasive. They hold back from telling us the truth, etc.” (In this piece I am not referring to the corruption many leaders are accused of; that discussion should be forthcoming in another post.)

So why is it a global phenomenon that politicians lie?

Because they have to.

I got this insight from working with prime ministers and presidents of various countries, while at the same time working with CEOs of very large companies. Leaders of major conglomerates and of countries exhibit very similar leadership styles: They are evasive, play their cards very close to the vest and do not share information if they can help it. They use big words to obscure their real intentions. They often “lie,” skirt the truth, too.

Why?

The higher you ascend up the hierarchy, the more political the environment becomes. Those you are interrelating with have their own interests—be they personal, or of the unit they manage—and there is a struggle between all these interests. As a leader you have to maneuver between all these pressure groups and powerful individuals, and survive the maneuvering.

If you are truthful about your intentions and make them known, you are giving information to those who want to unseat you, who want you to lose so they can gain. You lose the capability to maneuver politically.

It would be like a military leader making his battle plans known to the enemy during a war. And folks, up there in the organizational hierarchy, whether of a country or a corporation, it is a war.

Do you know who Frank Lorenzo was? Years ago he bought Eastern Airlines and Braniff Airlines, and was trying to build the biggest airline in the world. The airline unions fought him tooth and nail and he lost it all. I asked him what his biggest mistake was. His answer: “ I made it known what I was going to do.” ( He intended to cut down the labor force. )

I was told by a member of Benjamin Netanyahu’s cabinet that when discussing a sensitive subject in one-on-one meetings with another cabinet member, he often does not say yes or no to the proposed strategy. He shakes his head left and right for no, or up and down for yes, but does not utter a word. Why? Because he suspects he is being recorded by someone who does not necessarily have his interests at heart. Or of the country for that matter. . There could be microphones that he does not know about. By not saying a word he can deny he ever made that decision.

In more than one case, a leader of a country or a CEO of a company has asked me to stop talking and has taken me outside somewhere, sometimes for a ride in a car, so we can talk without being overheard. In many countries the entry to a chief executive’s office is through double doors, each padded heavily with soundproofing material to block voices from passing through.

The more democratic the system, the more lying there will be. In a democracy a leader has to make difficult maneuvers in a politically competitive environment. That is what democracy is about.

In a democracy in order to get power or to stay in power a politician needs to lie about his or her intentions , needs to maneuver and disorient enemies from the opposition and frequently from his own party or has to keep his or her mouth shut and keep a straight face although there is much to say.

Politicians have a personality that allows them to be evasive, to live with lies and keep a straight face. Not all people can do that. That is why many people are not willing to serve in a political role. They detest the process they will have to follow, a process I believe is an inevitable byproduct of the political system we chose to have.

Just thinking,

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

Falling In Love And Staying In Love

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on June 20, 2016.

Just watched a TEDx presentation ( September 15th 2015 with Mandy Len Catron ) called: Falling in Love Is The Easy Part.

The speaker reported that she ran an experiment where two people who did not know each other before, asked each other 36 questions which become more and more intimate as they advanced. At the end of the questions that should be answered honestly, the couple supposedly falls in love.

She then tried the experiment on herself… and fell in love too.

The question everybody wanted to know, she said, was whether she was still in love.

It was an interesting talk, to say the least, but in the end it did not explain the reason for the results nor did it answer how does one stay in love?

Let me try.

In the experiment, if you analyze the questions, it is clear that the questions, as they became more and more delicate, when answered honestly, build trust and respect between the participants.

And I believe the reason why people fell in love in this experiment was because the questions, and the process of answering them, built mutual trust and respect.

Why?

Because if people are honest with each other especially when they deal with very delicate, intimate issues, honesty generates trust and since the process of asking the questions is very systematized and regulated, I suggest, it also manifests mutual respect.

Now the key question: How does one remain in love?

Well, what undermines MT&R will undermine love as well, no?

Disrespectful handling of conflicts is one important factor.

Lying, manipulating, not being genuine is another.

But what causes people to lie, cheat and hide… and not be genuine?

I suggest that change has much to do with it.

Whenever there is change, problems arise and not all people have the courage and strength of character to handle new life challenges honestly, openly, truly, ….. to be perpetually honest and transparent.

That is why we have the expression “it takes courage to love.” It is not easy. After all who has the strength of character to stand emotionally naked before someone we love and be open to criticism or scorn, or may be even rejection?

Change means life still has to go on, and because it poses problems that might call for criticism and embarrassment , many of us are not as truthful as we can be, not as honest as we want to be , nor as genuine as we should be. MT&R might get eroded and love will leave the nest.

What to do?

Love and thus MT&R need maintenance. It is not enough to build a high rise. It needs to be maintained.

To stay in love people need to invest the time to reinforce their commitment to transparency, honesty, and ingenuity. Must take the time and face the challenges as they come.

It not easy to fall in love and it is even tougher to stay in love.

You need to agree to be vulnerable and you must be willing to work on it to stay vulnerable.

Just thinking,

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

The Benefits Of Frustrations

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on June 16, 2016.

No one likes to be frustrated. Frustrations take an enormous amount of energy and they might even have physiological repercussions of making one sick from them.

Are there benefits of being frustrated, and what should you do to make a lemonade out of a lemon?

Let us see:

Why do we get frustrated?

Because we are struggling with an issue we have difficulty solving, like not having clear understanding of the cost benefit ratios of our different alternative solutions or, not being clear in our diagnosis what the real problem is or, being unhappy with what we are doing because it is not giving the results we would like to have, etc., etc.

In other words we are struggling with something real important, major and thus significant and we are frustrated because we cannot find an easy answer to our questions.

If we could solve the issue frustrating us easily, if it was simple, we would have made a decision there and than and there would not have been a frustration. The fact that we are frustrated means that we are struggling with a strategic issue.

The bigger the frustration, the bigger the pain, the bigger is the problem and its complexity, the more significant is the subject frustrating us.

For how long?

Frustrations do end. May be not the same day, week or even months. But they do. Eventually we get that Aha experience. Our struggling eventually leads to a solution and since we were frustrated by major issues, our solution is a major one too. In other words, whenever we are frustrated, the more frustrated we are, the more we are in front of a major strategic solution that might change our life.

Show me a person that cares about big, complex, significant, issues and tries to solve them, and I will show you a very frustrated person. I can imagine how frustrated the President of the United States has to be.

How should you handle frustrations?

Accept them as a collateral effect of  what you worry or struggle with. May be even welcome the frustration  because you are finally ready now to deal with the issues that frustrate you . Up to now, may be, you  have lived in denial of the problem, you have been running away from it. If you are frustrated, it means there is no more escaping. You have to struggle  and deal with the issues although they are not easy to deal with. Look forward to the  day when you  will go through the frustration and come to a realization of the solution;  Another major issue in your life would have been removed.

It is imperative that during the period you are frustrated, you do not criticize yourself.  You do not put yourself down for not being able to solve the problem easily . This kind of an attitude accentuates the frustration. Accept  being  frustrated with the difficulty of the problem you are facing , but  reject being frustrated  with who you are and how good you are.

Another mistaken reaction to frustrations is to feel pressure to solve the issue as soon as possible. Since it is a difficult issue you are struggling with, there is pain and to shorten the period you feel the  pain there is tendency to run away from the pain by trying to solve the problem as fast as possible. In this case  you might remove the frustration, but the resolution  will be a  superficial one. It will hold but only for a short period of time. Such solutions are only band aids. The issues and thus the frustrations to deal with them will come back  to haunt you with extra strength.

Accept frustrations because they are a manifestation of something significant going  on that might change in your life and take your time to resolve the issues that frustrate you. They  are too significant to rush through them. No pain , no gain.

 

Just thinking

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

Old Age Over Time

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on June 08, 2016.

I remember a time when being old was honorable. Old people were respected. Others would get up from their seat on a bus or train to give them a place to sit. No one interrupted them when they spoke. There was honor and rituals of recognition of their worthiness as the older generation. Old people were the Elders, the wise.

When I was child, only seventy years ago, I used to kiss my grandfather’s hand and he would bless me, putting his hand over my head. At the dining table he had his chair that no one else would sit in. It was his reserved seat. When he took a nap in the afternoon, everyone would walk on tiptoes and whisper not to wake him up.

Being old meant being wise and knowledgeable. The elder made the rules of the house, and since being old was so respected, there was no need to try to hide your age by dressing like a young man or woman.

Children used to pride themselves in the way they treat their parents at home. Grandparents were not a burden, they were an asset. They helped around the house and conveyed family traditions and stories to the grandchildren. There was continuity that provided stability and nourished mental health. But this is all changing.

Being old is no longer something to be proud of. On the contrary, old people are seen as stupid. They forget things, perhaps losing their acuity to the creep of Alzheimer’s. They do not shave evenly, have age spots on their skin, and can’t walk well. They do not know how to operate the computer, the TV, or even drive well. People shy away from them. The respect, the honor, and the recognition are all gone.

The elders used to live with their children and enjoy their grandchildren every day. Rather than being visited once in a blue moon, they were part of the family. Now the older generation is discarded as a useless burden, sent to an old age home to wait for death, cared for by people they do not know. It is not love or a sense of obligation that drives those caregivers; it is a paid service.

There is a Jewish prayer that says “do not discard of me at my old age…”

I took care of you when you were young and helpless. Be with me at my old age when I am feeble and weak and in need of love more than ever.

In the Western world this is only a prayer.

Retirement homes are ubiquitous, and expensive. Why do older people spend so much money on a retirement home? What choice do they have? Who else will take care of them? Being old means having the problems that come with aging, and someone needs to help. Where are the children? Scattered around the nation or the world. Maybe they call sometimes—on a birthday, perhaps.

Some old people refuse to leave much, if any, of their assets as an inheritance to their children. For them children were not an investment, they were an operating expense.

At the Passover Seder dinner, as my children and grandchildren were seated around the table, singing and laughing, I realized how lucky I am. I have the respect and the love I cherish so much. They told me that there is no way they would let me go to a retirement home. They are for me and with me until my last breath. I am blessed.

What is my biggest achievement in life? Not my books. Not my balance sheet. It is my loving family. It should not be taken for granted.

 

Just thinking,

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

Kazakhstan Quo Vadis?

 

I appreciate the invitation to contribute to this commemorative issue marking the 25th anniversary of the establishment of the Republic of Kazakhstan.

I am, however, wary of making any recommendations, as my exposure to the country was short and superficial. I do not want to fall into the trap of another American professor who visited India for three days and wrote a book titled India: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow. It is the people of Kazakhstan, and its highly dedicated and popular President Nazarbayev, who know best what needs to be done. I am just a visitor.

But since you have given me the honor of contributing, I am happy to share my insights with the hope that they might have some relevance to the future of the country.

Under the leadership of Nazarbayev, Kazakhstan has made incredible advances in all fields—in industry and economics; in building from scratch an architectonic marvel in the capital, Astana; and in establishing strong positive international relations with both the West and Russia. Further, despite the country’s strong Muslim population, it has fostered fruitful relations with Israel.

One cannot ignore Kazakhstan’s transformation from a nomadic country to regional powerhouse, a modern country with operating democratic governance, political stability, and economic growth. I believe, however, that singing its praises is not necessary. The chorus is loud enough as is. I will instead focus on the challenges the country will face in coming years.

Not all these challenges will necessarily arise. No one can predict the future with certainty. Nevertheless, it might be of some help to point to where the cracks in the system might be—even if they are a hair’s width, almost invisible today—so that we are all aware of them.

The first and obvious one is Kazakhstan’s tremendous dependency on oil. The country needs to diversify. (Easier said than done.) This requires Kazakhstan to decide first what it wants to be when it “grows up.” What should the country focus on developing? Is it to be a major food-producing country, a high-tech new Silicon Valley, a financial and trade center, or an exporter of raw materials, utilizing mines it has in abundance? Kazakhstan needs to visualize what it wants the country to look like twenty years from now, and what steps need to be taken to get there. It will take at least twenty years to implement such major strategic developments.

The next question is who will lead those changes without interruption? Mr. Nazarbayev might lead for another twenty years, but that is not probable. It will not be easy to find a leader as charismatic, popular, and capable as Nazarbayev. There must be a succession plan that is implemented one step at a time. The turbulence of a transition that is not smooth could undermine the implementation of the twenty-year plan.

New leadership will have to be smart in maneuvering its ties with the West and Russia (taking into account the million Russians Kazakhstan has in the North), and the ties it will have with China due to its shared border.

The challenges Nazarbayev’s successor will face are not only in foreign relations, however. Diversifying the economy will require managerial capabilities and entrepreneurial spirit. Developing these will not be easy because of the effects to Soviet legacy has on how management is performed. In the Soviet Union, the “boss” had all the power and was the last word on everything. The system was run on fear. My experience in CIS countries has been that leaders of companies totally dominate meetings, while the other participants do not dare to speak much or, God forbid, challenge what the leader is saying. This creates a major obstacle to developing leadership from the ranks. Even the training the most talented young Kazakhs receive abroad has a limited impact because, when they return and are employed by Kazakhstan companies, the dominating climate of autocracy prevents the knowledge acquired abroad from being absorbed and accepted.

Kazakhstan needs to depart from the Soviet legacy of how management is performed. This is a major cultural revolution that needs to be carried out experientially, not through lectures or university trainings.

Furthermore, due to the country’s nomadic tribal history people have strong sentiments regarding those related to them. This breeds nepotism, and people are appointed to positions of leadership based not on competence but on family ties, further undermining managerial performance and Kazakhstan’s ability to build a thriving, diversified market economy.

Another point of caution: I am aware of the efforts privatize government-owned companies, selling them to the private sector. This tactic has been used by many countries. Economists love it; they believe it brings the profit motive to be the focus of how the company is managed. It should lead to better economic performance, more efficiency, and de-bureaucratization of government-owned enterprises.

While this might be the right move from an economic point of view, from a sociopolitical point of view it can have negative collateral outcomes. When the profit motive becomes the driving force in decision making, people get fired, companies go through downsizing, and the population at large responds negatively, causing some political turbulence. True, this is not likely while Nazarbayev is leading the country, but it might be probable during his successors’ regime.

Kazakhstan is geographically situated between Russia—which has a serious demographic problem and would love to have another million Russians within its borders—and China, which I suspect would enjoy more space for its exploding population. Both counties might welcome some political turbulence in Kazakhstan, which they could use to their advantage.

To keep that from happening, Kazakhstan has to be united and its population committed to the country’s independence. Confrontation between workers and owners leads to undesirable disintegration, and to political turbulence that might paint the country as weak.

Kazakhstan has the potential to be a regional leader, and if it has a successful transition of leadership and economic growth without political turbulence, it can be a world leader as well. The transformation will not be simple, and the challenges not easy to overcome. The last twenty-five years have been an incredible success, but for sustainable success we need to look not only at the past but at the future.

I wish you well,

Dr. Ichak Kalderon Adizes

I Wish to Be Like Bali

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on May 24, 2016.

Bali was our pet dog, a labradoodle. He died today.

Last week he was diagnosed with cancer. The vet gave him a maximum of three months to live. He only held on for one week.

I have not cried my heart out for anyone as much as I cried for Bali.

What was it that  touched my heart to mourn his departure to the point that I am practically devastated?

Bali was a human being in a dog’s body. (I suppose some people could be dogs in a human body….) Bali had a sense of humor. He would tilt his head when we would say something funny. He understood what was said to him in any of the languages we speak at home, English, Spanish, or Hebrew. We did not have to repeat instructions twice. He followed commands without any resistance. It was easy to get along with him. He never asked for anything and accepted whatever was given to him gratefully. Whenever any family member would come home, Bali would be there, wagging his tail, receiving them rubbing his head against their leg.

But that is not it , really . Many dogs are like that.

Bali was special because  he was  a manifestation of love which  is hard to describe but easy to feel . It is his demeanor , how he looked at you , how he rubbed his head  against your leg ever so gently, not demanding but being present  and surrendering to you.

What brings tears to my eyes is how he died. He lay down in front of us and did not move. If approached, he would wiggle his tail. He had no strength to lift his head or open his mouth and eat something, but would wiggle his tail nevertheless, until the last moment, as if to say: no matter what, I love you and I want you to know that.

He did not whine or make any noise. He just suffered quietly, peacefully. He accepted his death without losing a moment to love. His last moment was when he lifted his head, looked at Nurit, my wife, wiggled his tail, and took the last breath of his life.

I say to myself that is the way I want to die too. Peacefully. Accepting the inevitable. Surrounded by love and showing my love until the last minute I am alive. And while alive,   I want to live without a grudge, welcoming everyone into my life with a “wiggling tail,” no mater what.

We buried Bali in our garden. Planted a pomegranate tree over his burial site so we will never forget the member of our family who taught us about unconditional love.

 

In mourning,

Ichak Kalderon Adizes

Why Dogs Bark?

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on May 18, 2016.

One day, I was walking with a friend of mine along the beach. I was holding my dog tightly on a leash, but he kept pulling hard towards any and every dog coming towards us. It was becoming difficult to control him.

My friend said, ”Why don’t you let him off the leash?”

“What?” I was surprised at the suggestion. “He will attack all the dogs he has been struggling to reach. The leash restrains him.”

“Just the opposite,” he said. “When a dog is on a leash, it feels weak. It  proactively tries to scare the other dog from attacking it. If it is off the leash, it will run to the other dog, smell it, and continue running.”

I took the leash off and voila, he was right. The dog was running around, smelling other dogs and going on his way.

When we are weak, we proactively attack to prevent from being attacked. It makes sense. Evidence? The smaller the dog, the greater the barking.

Why?

Because it is scared.

The Doberman Pinscher knows how strong it is and hardly ever barks. It is enough that he looks at me and lifts a fierce lip to show his teeth. It is enough. I get the message. No need to bark.

It explains to me the expression: “Barking dogs do not bite.”

Just stamp your foot at a noisy, barking dog and see it scramble to safety. It will retreat.

Now try (I do not mean it literally) the same with a Doberman. You would not dare.

The reason is obvious.  The Doberman will bite you without making a sound.

This insight brings me to think about people.  The person who is speaking non-stop, interrupting other people, is usually insecure. And he does not bite. He is not to be found among the winners. He just barks a lot.

The person you have to watch for is the quiet one. He possesses energy but conserves it. Speaks when absolutely necessarily and does not waste words. Shows confidence. Exhibits self assurance. He is wise because when he thinks of something stupid to say, he remains quiet. It is the barking ones who have no control over their mouth. They just yack, yack, yack, a lot and waste a lot of their own energy, often along with yours.

Bark less. Do more.

 

Just thinking.

Disease as a Blessing

This blog post was featured in the Huffington Post on May 10, 2016.

I thought it was the end of the world for me.

I had a great professional life. I’d worked in fifty-two countries, counseled prime ministers, lectured to thousands of top executives, been asked to solve different serious problems—never a boring moment. I used to fly from Los Angeles to Australia to consult just for one day, then get on a plane for South Africa to work for three days, and go from there to Moscow to give a lecture the day after. I would travel like this from one country to another, from one company to another, each with a different interesting problem, which, once solved, won me recognition that fed my ego big time. Great, no?

Then the bad news arrived: The traveling, lecturing, and consulting for weeks in a row— the constant jet lag, always changing hotels—caused my blood pressure to get very high. I was eating in restaurants all the time, and they use salt on everything. The lifestyle was stressing my body.

My long-term unregulated high blood pressure, I was told, gave me “a little present” in the form of a chronic kidney disease. Now it was only a question of time before kidney failure started to manifest in shortness of breath, loss of energy, and loss of memory. I would then have to go in for dialysis for three hours, twice a week. People who were on dialysis told me that the process is not only time consuming but also robs you of energy. You have only enough strength to survive from one treatment to the next.

That all meant no more traveling, no more consulting, no more doing the work I love… The end of the world for me.

What now?

I was told that I could reduce the chances of having kidney failure if I could control my blood pressure. If I wanted to live, I had to change my lifestyle. To me it looked like the end of the world as I knew it. To stop my lifestyle meant to become a vegetable. Just the thought of it made me deeply depressed.

But since I wanted to live, who does not, I reluctantly cancelled all my travel, and all my clients, unless I could serve them remotely. I went to True North Health Center in Santa Rosa, California for two months. There I learned to eat plant-based food. I lost fifty pounds.

Moreover, I discovered there is something called life—normal life. Getting up at the same time every day. Eating healthy. Sleeping normal hours. Getting to know my wife, and my children. I started exercising, doing yoga almost every day—something I dreamed of doing for years but could not because of my traveling. I discovered I have friends who really care for me. Sixteen people expressed their willingness to donate their kidney to me. (Fourteen of them were rejected for various health reasons; two are still being tested.) In other words, I discovered there is life beyond work.

Was this the end of my life or the beginning of my life? If I had continued my previous lifestyle, life would have passed me by and I would have died in some hotel or on a plane. I would not have lived much longer. Now I have a chance.

Was my disease a curse or a blessing? To me it is obvious.

Just think of it. Every problem is a call for change and major problems are a call for a major change.

Thus, all problems are really an opportunity for the better.

Just thinking.