Jeffrey L. Seglin's Blog, page 11

What should I do with misdelivered mail?

A reader we’re calling Cliff wrote thatevery time his regular U.S. mail carrier goes on vacation, he ends up gettingmail meant for his neighbors that is misdelivered to his house.

“Ican always tell when there’s a substitute on duty,” Cliff wrote, noting thatoften it’s only the mail from his next-door neighbor, but sometimes it’s mailmeant for four or five different houses along his street.

IfCliff happens to be on his front porch when the substitute mail carrierarrives, he checks the mail and will hand back any misdelivered pieces. Butmost often, Cliff only discovers the errors long after the mail carrier isgone.

Cliffwants to know what the best thing to do is. Put the mail back in his own boxwith a note to the mail carrier? Drop the mail meant for others into a postalbox up the street from his house? Call the local post office? Or simply put hisneighbor’s mail in their mailboxes? Cliff also wants to know if it’s OK tosimply toss anything that looks like it’s junk mail with a neighbor’s name onit.

Iam not an expert in federal laws regarding U.S. mail, but Cliff should notdestroy any mail addressed to someone else even if he deems it to be junk. Thatdecision about junkiness should be left to the intended recipient.

Anyof the options Cliff asked about seem reasonable, though it’s not likely thatcalling the local post office will help a great deal if the substitute mailcarrier changes every time the regular carrier is on vacation.

IfCliff knows his regular mail carrier well enough, he might want to take the timeto let her know about the recurring misdeliveries when she is on vacation. Theregular mail carrier might have advice on how best to proceed.

Shemight advise Cliff that calling the local post office might actually have somepositive affect. Or she might be willing to let others at the post office knowabout the recurring issues.

Myexperience with local postal carriers in the city where I live has been largelypositive. I once wrote about my former mail carrier (now retired) who spentmonths tracking down three boxes of books meant to be delivered to me thatsomehow ended up on someone’s porch several blocks away.

WhileCliff putting the misdelivered mail back in his box or dropping it in themailbox up the street might get the mail to its intended recipient at somepoint, the most expedient thing might be for Cliff to walk next door or up twoor three doors to give the intended recipient his mail.

Granted,Cliff has no obligation to do the mail carrier’s job for him. But the simplestand most direct solution seems to be to just give the right person their mail.

Again,I’m no expert in federal U.S. mail laws, but taking a few moments to getsomething that belongs to someone else strikes me as a neighborly and rightthing to do.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

When an earthquake hits, how best to give

Shortlyafter 11 p.m. local time on Friday, Sept. 8, an earthquake struck Morocco,southwest of Marrakesh, devastating villages at the base of the High Atlasmountains. More than 2,900 people were reported killed and more than 5,500injured.

I had taught at Mohammed VI Polytechnic University(UM6P) in Rabat for a week in mid-July. While Rabat is roughly 200 miles northof Marrakesh, UM6P has a Marrakesh campus, and the students and staff with whomI worked were from various parts of Morocco. A handful of students I had taughtat Harvard Kennedy School (HKS) are also from Morocco, and each happened to bethere when the earthquake struck.

Soon I was receiving texts from family, friends andcolleagues to ask if everyone I knew there was accounted for. Several asked foradvice on the best way to donate to help with the relief. Initially, I did notknow the answer to their questions.

I texted the people at UM6P who I worked with to seeif everyone was accounted for and was relieved they were. Almost immediately,students and staff at UM6P assembled packages of supplies to get to those affectedby the earthquake.

I also checked in on my former graduate studentsfrom HKS who were in Morocco when the earthquake struck. They too wereaccounted for.

The question loomed, however, of how best to donate,given the shared desire to donate to efforts that had the best chance ofdirectly helping those affected. In such situations, I always try to do enoughresearch to make sure efforts are legitimate and help the people who most needhelp.

One of my go-to organizations of late has been WorldCentral Kitchen (https://wck.org),the nonprofit run by chef José Andrés. Whether it’s in Puerto Rico, Texas orUkraine, World Central Kitchen seems to have been able to rapidly set upoperations to get food to those affected by disaster. Within days, WorldCentral Kitchen was set up in Morocco.

I also asked my former HKS students who were back inMorocco for advice. Several of them along with other Boston-area students withMorocco ties set up a GoFundMe account (https://www.gofundme.com/f/boston-moroccan-students-unite-for-morocco)that would funnel funds collected to organizations they had carefully vettedfor their effectiveness.

I usually rely on sites like CharityNavigator (www.CharityNavigator.org)to assess the reputation and effectiveness of any charity. World CentralKitchen has a top rating. My students’ GoFundMe effort is not a registerednonprofit, so they have no CharityNavigator rating. Nevertheless, I persist inbelieving they applied the same rigor to the work they did as graduate studentsto the vetting of charities that could best help their families and neighbors.

There is no obligation for anyone to give anythingto any causes they don’t care to. It’s impossible for most people to donate tohelp support those affected by all of the many disasters and crises that hitthe world.

But for those who want to help the victims of theMorocco earthquake, the right thing is to try to do so in whatever way theybelieve might most help those in need.

For me, it might be donating to World CentralKitchen or my former students’ GoFundMe effort. There are, however, plenty ofother ways to help. I trust you to find yours.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Should I trust reviews on social media?

Ifyou’ve spent any time on social media, you’ve likely come across user reviewsof one thing or another. A store. A dish. A book. A garden. A vacation spot.Most anything.

Presumably, the motivation behind such posts is toshare enthusiasm, positive or negative, with other social media users who mightbe influenced to use or avoid the things reviewed. A reader we’re callingConstance wants to know if it’s wrong to post a review of something if you’venever actually engaged with the thing being reviewed.

Constance is a member of a group on Facebook that sharespositive news about her local community. The administrators stipulate that theywill not tolerate negative comments or negative responses to others’ comments.All positive, all the time seems to be the mantra for the group. Mostly,Constance wrote that fellow group members follow the rules. It’s not theunbridled positivity with which Constance has any issue.

Lately, Constance wrote that she notices an awfullot of posts about restaurants or retail stores in town that start with aquestion, something along the lines of: “Does anyone have any experience with…”with the name of the establishment following. What follows, Constance wrote, isa rapid succession of one over-the-top review after another. Constance hasbegun to believe that the owners, or someone working on the owners’ behalf, isasking the initial question after having lined up posters to writeoverwhelmingly glowing reviews, many of which sound the same.

The tipping point for Constance was after someoneasked how the food was at a new restaurant that she didn’t believe had openedyet. After several group members posted glowing reviews of the place and itsfood, one posted the comment that the place wasn’t scheduled to open until thefollowing week.

Granted, restaurants sometimes have soft openingswhere people are invited to come in and try the food before it officiallyopens. Such events help the proprietors detect and smooth out any wrinkles inoperation. It’s also not a bad way to spread the word.

But Constance is convinced that the restaurantowners or managers posted the original question and that others affiliated withthem posted the glowing responses.

“Is it wrong to be cynical about such reviews?”asked Constance, admitting she has no definitive proof that what she suspectsis going on is really going on.

Constance has every right to be cynical. So doreaders of book reviews on Amazon.com, even though increasingly some reviewersare disclosing when they’ve been given a free book or product in exchange fortheir “honest” review.

It’s wise for Constance and any prospective customernot to use such reviews as the only reason to try a new restaurant, read aparticular book, or purchase a new product. Better perhaps to look forindependent reviewers or sites that review such things. Best to decide forthemselves if they are interested in some place or thing enough to try it andthen to form their own opinion.

While others’ comments online might piqueConstance’s or others’ interest, the right thing is to base their opinions ontheir own experiences rather than assume they will find the same joy insomething that others claim they had.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

 

Can I give away my unused prescription drugs?

Wheredo you draw the line at offering a favor to a friend?

A reader we’re calling Linda had been takingprescription medication for her high blood pressure for almost a year.

At first the medication seemed to work to keep herblood pressure at the level for which her physician hoped.

But for the past several weeks, her blood pressurehad been inching up and, after a visit to her physician, he changed herprescription to a different medication to see if it would have better results.

Linda and a neighborhood friend we’re calling Winniehad compared notes while at a recent book club meeting about the variousprescription medications they were taking. It turned out Winnie had beenprescribed the same blood pressure medication that wasn’t working so well forLinda, but had been working just fine for Winnie for several years.

After Linda picked up the prescription for her newmedication, she checked and found that the vial with the old prescription stillhad several dozen pills in it.

Figuring it would be a waste to simply toss out theold prescription, it crossed Linda’s mind that perhaps it would be OK to offerthe remaining pills to Winnie. She knew Winnie’s doctor would only renew herprescription so many times before he insisted she come in for a checkup. Lindaalso knew Winnie hated to go to the doctor.

So why not share the remaining pills?

“Would that be OK to do?” Linda asked.

No. That would not be OK to do.

While her intentions might be to be helpful andavoid waste, sharing prescription drugs violates state and federal laws. IfWinnie accepted any such offer — and she should not, repeat not — she would bebreaking the law for possessing and taking a prescription intended for someoneelse.

(Full disclosure: I am not a lawyer, but you canlook this up for yourself.)

In addition to the legal consequences, while Lindamay believe she’d be doing Winnie a favor, but neither Linda’s expertise norWinnie’s is to determine how much or what type of medication someone else mightneed. In an effort to do a friend a solid, Linda might be causing more harm toWinnie than good.

It’s good to avoid waste, but with rare exception,it’s not easy to donate prescription medication that has already been open oris expired.

Still, there are organizations that try to helpavoid the waste. The social enterprise Supporting Initiatives to RedistributeUnused Medicine (SIRUM) has a helpful website (sirum.org)that guides organizations and people wanting to donate unopened or unexpiredmedication legally and safely to people who might not be able to afford to payfor the medications they are prescribed.

There’s likely a good reason Winnie’s doctor wantsto see her in person to decide if the medication he has prescribed is stilleffective. If Linda wants to be a good friend to Winnie, she can offer to driveher to her physician and sit with her while she is waiting to be seen. But theright thing is to never offer your own prescribed drugs to anyone else.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

How do you respond to a new neighbor's gossip?

What’sthe right thing to do when a resident new to your neighborhood mentions gossipshe heard about a neighbor?

A reader we’re calling Rita was out walking when shesaw a woman we’re calling Prudence walking up the stairs to her house. Prudencelived three doors down and across the street from Rita.

“Are you our new neighbor?” Rita asked Prudence.Prudence confirmed she and her partner had purchased the house and moved in afew weeks earlier to a newly built house in the old neighborhood.

“Would you like to see the house?” Prudence asked.Rita accepted the invitation and headed up the stairs to the front door of thehouse.

A quick tour and some small talk about wherePrudence had lived before and how much she liked the new neighborhood followed.Rita offered to share any information about nearby stores and services Prudencemight find useful.

Prudence thanked her and commented on how welcomingeveryone in the neighborhood had been.

But she caught herself in her comment when it cameto referencing, Simon, her neighbor directly next door. “Well, except for nextdoor, but everyone has told me about him,” Prudence said.

Rita knew Simon. He had always been kind when itcame to helping to clear a walk of snow or to say hello when she passed him by.Simon stayed to himself and rarely spent time outside of his house other thanhis backyard. But his house and yard were immaculately kept.

Rita knew that Simon had had some run-ins withparents of youngsters in the neighborhood who would run through his flower bedsor leave their bicycles or scooters leaning up against the wall in his frontyard. On at least one occasion, Simon yelled loudly at his neighbor’s children,which resulted in the parents calling the police to complain. Nothing came ofthe complaint and Simon continued to stay to himself and tend to his yard.

“I heard he’s a bit of a problem,” Prudence toldRita.

Rita responded that she’d never had an issue withSimon, but now believes she should have said more so Prudence’s view of him wasnot colored by others in the neighborhood who had a beef with him.

“Should I have said more?” Rita emailed me. “ShouldI have told Prudence how awful those little kids were? Or how the parentsoverreacted and began to speak ill of him to anyone who would listen?”

Rita did the right thing by responding just as shedid to Prudence. She told her what she knew of Simon personally. Had she gonefurther, she likely would find herself spreading gossip about differentneighbors, which may or may not have been true, since Rita had never actuallyseen the little boys trample Simon’s garden.

Simply nodding her head in agreement when Prudencesaid something about Simon would have been wrong. But by offering an honestassessment of her dealings with Simon she treated both Simon and Prudence withrespect.

Rita wrote that she’d left Simon a plate of freshlybaked cookies shortly after her exchange with Prudence, something she had donefrom time to time over the years. He was an older person living alone and Ritafigured he could use some kindness from a neighbor.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Puzzling over returning flawed puzzle

Often,how to respond ethically to some of the more mundane things in life that puzzleus the most.

A reader we’re calling Pamela recently wrote tocomment about how much she loves her local library. The library is located inthe center of her town in a big old sprawling building. It’s well stocked andrare that Pamela can’t find what she is looking for.

Her library also has a “library of things” it lendsout to cardholders. Games, gardening tools, slide to JPG converters andassorted other stuff are available to lend.

Pamela also noticed recently that the library has asizable jigsaw puzzle collection that falls outside the jurisdiction of othercollections.

The library doesn’t ask people to check the jigsawpuzzles out, but simply to take whatever one they want and then to return itwhen they are finished with it. All they ask is that the borrower fill out asmall sheet of paper inside each jigsaw puzzle box that asks if any pieces aremissing.

Aside from that, there’s no obligation and no recordof any of the puzzles having been borrowed. It's a total honor system when itcomes to borrowing, using, and returning.

It took Pamela a few days to find time to get aroundto the jigsaw puzzle she had borrowed. When she did, she realized it was a morechallenging puzzle than she had anticipated, so it was taking her longer tocomplete it. “A lot of dark green to figure out,” wrote Pamela.

As she neared the puzzle’s completion, it becameclear to Pamela that pieces were missing. At first, she thought one piece forcertain was missing. By the time she had placed all the pieces in the box, itwas clear that three pieces were missing.

“Either I dropped them somehow,” wrote Pamela, “orsomeone who borrowed the jigsaw puzzle before me hadn’t bothered to fill outthe note about missing pieces.

“Should I even return the puzzle?” Pamela asked.“It’s missing pieces and they’re just going to get rid of it anyhow. Or shouldI just throw it out?”

Pamela is correct that it’s unlikely the librarywill keep her borrowed puzzle given the missing pieces.

But the agreement when she borrowed the puzzle wasto return it when she was through and to fill out the missing-piecequestionnaire before she returned the puzzle.

Granted, the library doesn’t know Pamela has thepuzzle, since the borrowing was based on an honor system and didn’t go throughthe usual checkout process. But just because Pamela could toss the puzzle andnever get caught or questioned about it does not make reneging on her initialborrowing commitment the right thing to do.

It might take more time to make the return.Ultimately, the library might not care.

Pamela should either call the library to ask whethershe needs to return the jigsaw puzzle given its missing pieces or she shouldsimply return the puzzle as she promised to do — not out of fear of gettingcaught, but because it’s the right thing to do.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

 

Is it OK to call something 'gourmet' or 'homemade'?

Tworelated questions from different readers arrived this week, each related tofood labeling.

From a reader we’re called Howard, we received thequestion of what can be called “gourmet” food. From another we’re callingJesse, we were asked what “homemade” means when attached to prepared food athis neighborhood grocery’s delicatessen counter.

While the U.S. Food and Drug Administration haspublished guidelines for many food labeling items such as “organic” or“natural,” I’ve been hard-pressed to find anything definitive by it or anyother agency that clearly lays out the qualities a food must have to be called“gourmet” or “homemade.”

“Whose home do they mean?” Jesse asked in his email.Good question.

Near as I can fathom, when something is labeled“homemade” like cole slaw, potato salad or roasted vegetables, it simply meansthe food wasn’t made by a machine, but instead was cooked and assembled by ahuman being.

It’s more likely that the homemade stuff was made inthe deli’s kitchen or a central kitchen rather than anyone’s home. Theregulations for selling food made in a home kitchen are estimable enough tothwart that preparation route as an option.

The “gourmet” moniker is typically a marketingmaneuver used to suggest the finest ingredients were used in its preparation tomake it all fancy-like. But who determines what makes such ingredients fancyenough to warrant a gourmet label is unclear or nonexistent.

It seems akin to Supreme Court Justice PotterStewart’s response in 1964 when asked how he determined something was obscene:“I know it when I see it.” Hardly satisfying, but nevertheless it persists.

That all gets us back to Howard’s and Jesse’soverarching questions about whether it is wrong to label something as “gourmet”or “homemade” if neither the seller nor the customer knows what each labelmeans.

As consumers, we face similar situations regularly.What, for example, does “supersize” mean when affixed to a package? It’s usedto entice us and make us believe we’re getting more bang for our buck at thecash register.

There’s nothing wrong with such marketing tactics,as long as the seller is not trying to label something that is clearly not whatthey are trying to sell.

As consumers, the right thing is to educateourselves to have a glimmer of a sense of what it is we are buying. Looking atthe ingredient label is far likelier to be useful than to rely on a word like“gourmet.”

Referring to the unit price tags on store shelvesthat inform consumers how much items cost per a consistent weight measure is afar better method of determining value than relying on words like “jumbo” or“super.”

Are sellers trying to manipulate us to buy stuffbecause they use fancy labels that are hard to define consistently? Yes.

But if consumers really care about the food they areconsuming or the amount they are spending on it, the right thing is for them tobe as informed as possible.

Grocery stores already help with this by featuringunit price tags. Ingredient labels are another method.

If the ingredients include things you can’tidentify, it’s good to question how willing you are to put food in your bodywhen you don’t know what it’s made from.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Is it OK to sell my town-issued recycling bin?

Eachweek after “The Right Thing” column has run its course in the publications thatsubscribe to it, it gets posted on a blog as www.jeffreyseglin.com.The blog doesn’t go all the way back to the first column that ran in September1998, but it does go back pretty far, to January 2006.

Occasionally, I take a look at the analytics to seewhich columns have received the most hits over the years. For a long time, the most-viewed column was one that ran 19 years ago exploring the question of if it was OK to allow others to rummage through your recycling bins forbottles or cans that can be returned for a deposit.

That column was recently surpassed by that asked the question of whether it was OK to accept a job offer by aname caller. Still, recycling remains at the top of the most-viewed columnsover the past couple of decades.

The rights and wrongs of neighborhood recyclingcontinues to be a recurring concern for readers judging from a recent email.

A reader we’re calling Elke describes herself as aregular estate and garage sale frequenter. During the early days of thepandemic, Elke was able to keep up with her shopping predilection by availingherself of online estate sale sites that enabled buyers to bid online and thenpick up an item from the dealer handing the sale at a safe distance rather thanin a crowded house of other shoppers.

Elke has started to attend in-person estate salesagain, but she still keeps an eye on the sites for things she might like. Afterviewing a recent sale, she emailed me.

“It is OK to sell one of those large recycling binsissued by a town?” she asked.

Since it is possible to buy large blue bins onwheels on your own, I asked Elke if she was sure the container was town-issuedand not something that might have been purchased at a nearby hardware store.

Elke confirmed that the container had the name andseal of the town on it, as well as words that made clear it was issued as partof the municipality’s recycling program.

In some city neighborhoods where recycling binsmight get mixed up after recycling is picked up, it seems fair for residents toput house numbers on the bins. When they don’t, I’m confident that binsoccasionally get exchanged from house to house.

But unlike trash cans a resident purchased and hasevery right to sell or take with them if they move, the town-issued recyclingbins should stay with the house to which they were issued.

Why the dealer allowed the recycling bin to belisted on the website for sale is baffling and wrong.

If the family selling the items asked to have thebin listed, the right thing would have been for the dealer to point out why itwas inappropriate. Now, the right thing is for the dealer to take that listingdown.

As for neighbors looking through recycling bins forreturnables, I still believe it’s OK to give them permission to do so. Thereturnables are yours, even if the bin they’re placed in is not.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

 

Is it OK to vote for a business we don't know?

When Iwas in graduate school, I lived in an dormitory residence on campus. Inaddition to our bedrooms, there were shared bathrooms on each floor, a commonroom with couches and a television, a historical chapel upstairs and an old kitchenin the basement with several old ovens and refrigerators and a few long tables.

It was a great place to live not only for itsproximity to classes and classmates, but also because it provided a relativelyaffordable alternative to pricey housing in the area. (The dormitory has sincebeen taken over by administrative offices, though the chapel remains.)

Each year, we’d vote on two positions to be held byresidents. One was someone to manage the kitchen. The other was the dormproctor, who was in charge of keeping keys, reporting emergencies, andgenerally helping keep the place and its residents safe. The proctor received afree room in exchange for holding the position, but it could eat up a lot oftime, so not everyone wanted to take it on.

When the vote came one year, a classmate commentedon a mutual friend who was running for the kitchen organizer position. Thefriend was notoriously disorganized and not someone you’d peg as being idealfor such a spot. “You always vote for your friends,” my classmate said when Iasked if she had any reservation about casting a vote for her.

I was reminded of that comment after receiving anemail from a reader I’m calling Madeline seeking advice on whether she shouldcast a vote for a friend’s daughter’s cake decorating business through a socialmedia link sent to her.

“I don’t know the daughter,” wrote Madeline. “I’venever tasted her cakes, although the photos of them online look nice.”

Madeline wonders if it’s wrong to vote for thedaughter simply because her friend asked her to. “Shouldn’t my vote be based onactually knowing if her work is any good?”

Ideally, Madeline is right. But such votes rarelyreflect an accurate reflection of judgment by those who actually know thegoods. Many “best of” votes in communities don’t require voters to haveactually shopped or dined at the places they vote for. It’s often just as easyfor someone residing on the other side of the country who never stepped foot inthe community let alone taste the food as a local joint to cast a vote for whatthey believe to be “the best.”

Is that right? If the guidelines for voting madeclear that only those who engaged in business with the establishments shouldcast a vote, then no, voting without actual knowledge is not right. But moreoften than not, these votes devolve into campaigns to get the most votespossible from anyone in hopes that winning will generate more business. As longas it’s clear that the votes don’t represent actual customers’ views, there’sno harm in casting the vote for the friend’s daughter’s cakes.

The right thing would be for Madeline and others toread the guidelines for the competition to make sure they aren’t violating therules for voting. And the right thing for the readers of such competition’sresults is to recognize that whatever businesses top the list may or may notebe “the best.” All they can be assured of is that they got the most votes.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

(c) 2023 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.

Should we pretend to be something to win others over?

Myfirst fall in Boston after I’d moved there in 1978, from Bethany, West Virginia,the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees were locked in a playoff to see whowould top the American League East standings and move on to play the KansasCity Royals for a shot at that year’s World Series against the National Leaguetitle holder.

I had been to a few games at Fenway Park, one of themost beautiful professional baseball parks in America. Walking into the parkremains a magical experience as soon as you walk up to your seats and the viewof the field opens up before you.

Back then, the Red Sox had not won a World Seriessince 1918. This one-game playoff against the Yankees could be their shot atfinally breaking their decades-long dry spell.

Alas, it was not to be. The Yankees led 2-0 in theseventh inning when Bucky Dent hit a three-run home run that proved to be thedeciding factor in the Yankees moving on to battle the Royals.

My father had been a lifelong Yankees fan, and I wasand am a lifelong Yankees fan after him. (I am in short company in myBoston-bred family.)

What does this have to with a column on ethics?

On that pre-internet, pre-social-media October dayin 1978, Boston was abuzz about the game. In the office where I worked, someonebrought in a small black-and-white television set for us to watch in betweenpretending to get any work done.

Now, here’s the ethics question I was facing.

As a lifelong Yankees fan, but also the newestemployee at this Boston publishing company full of rabid Red Sox fans, do Imake a big deal about being a Yankees fan and root loudly for my team? Do Ipretend to be a Red Sox fan to fit in?

If I had been lucky enough to get bleacher ticketsfor the game, my conundrum might have been magnified, given that a Yankees fancould not expect a warm and fuzzy reception at such a critical game.

Ethically, pretending to be a Red Sox fan would havebeen wrong, even then, before I wrote about ethics. Lying is lying.

But there seemed no reason to be boisterous orobnoxious in my support for the Yankees. When Bucky Dent hit his home run, thecrowd in the office was morose but also hopeful there was enough time for acomeback. There wasn’t.

I didn’t hide that I was a Yankees fan, but I didn’tchide my colleagues about their team snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

The Yankees ultimately beat the Los Angeles Dodgersto win the 1978 World Series. Hiding what we believe or pretending to believesomething we don’t to win favor with others doesn’t seem the right thing to do.

I didn’t pretend to be something I wasn’t, but Ialso didn’t express any joy in my colleague’s misery. I knew there would be theopportunity for a few future visits together to one of the most beautifulbaseball parks in America.

Jeffrey L. Seglin, author of "The Simple Art of Business Etiquette: How to Rise to the Top by Playing Nice," is a senior lecturer in public policy, emeritus, at Harvard's Kennedy School. He is also the administrator of www.jeffreyseglin.com, a blog focused on ethical issues.

Do you have ethical questions that you need to have answered? Send them to jeffreyseglin@gmail.com. 

Follow him on Twitter @jseglin

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