Brendan I. Koerner's Blog, page 72

"This is a Titanic Above Water"

Okay, here's the deal: Ever since Microkhan Jr. entered the picture, we've been able to spend a grand total of one night alone with the Grand Empress. But all that's about to change, starting today: By the time you read these words, the Microkhan crew will (hopefully) be winging its way to Detroit, en route to dropping off the progeny with the in-laws. Then the royal duo's heading up north, with only a map and our collective nose for Bell's Beer to guide us.

So, the upshot is that posting...

Cheesy Ain't Easy

So how does Frito-Lay create the world's favorite orange-hued snack? We reveal the secrets of Cheetos manufacturing in this month's Wired. Our favorite factoid, as a teaser:

Every half hour, an in-house lab analyzes the chemical composition of samples pulled from the cooking line to verify that the Cheetos have the right density and nutritional content. Then, every four hours, a four-person panel convenes to inspect and taste the snacks, comparing them to perfect reference Cheetos sent from...

Jamaica's Crossroads

As the violence continues in Kingston, let's pause to consider the scope of Jamaica's problems. By any measure, the nation should have long ago started working its way toward the middle of the development tables. Think about how much the place has going for it: lots of bauxite, fertile soil, an English-speaking populace, a thriving tourism sector, a healthy flow of remittances from emigrants, a distinct cultural brand that's revered the world over. Yet as the inflation-adjusted data above...

The Sons of Gumby

Our beloved WEFUNK just celebrated its 600th show in grand fashion, with sets dedicated to late '60s soul, Clinton-era hip-hop, and the fine art of locking. Given the show's Montreal base, they also couldn't help but throw some north-of-the-border rap into the mix, including the gem above from DJ Format (whose British by birth) and two of his Canadian sidekicks. The song's pretty good—plus one to 'em for finding a rhyme for "hermaphrodite"—but the stop-motion video is even better. Eat your...

Where the Sharks Swim

In the latest account of NBA big man Eddy Curry's never-ending money woes, this passage jumped out at us:

On Friday, a Manhattan court ordered Curry to pay $75,000 a month to lender Allstar Capital Inc. to resolve a debt that swelled to $1.2 million with interest. The court also has issued an order letting Las Vegas-based Allstar seize three of the cars: a Rolls Royce Phantom convertible and two Land Rover SUVs, all 2009 models.

He took out the $570,000 personal loan in February 2008...

St. Helena Off Santa Barbara

ill-fated candidacy of Gary Coleman? This year's contest seems similarly likely to offer its share of oddities, starting with Orange County Republican Douglas Hughes. Though he has positions on all the major topics of the day, Hughes has chosen to brand himself as the only candidate in favor of exiling pedophiles to one of the Channel...

The Provider

America's long-running (and endlessly futile) War on Drugs is on the verge of claiming another casualty: the government of Jamaica. The Caribbean nation's capital is partly in flames today, as residents of Tivoli Gardens battle police with fire bombs and heavy weaponry. The reason for the bloodshed is the government's call for the surrender of alleged drug lord Christopher "Dudus" Coke, who is set to be extradited to the U.S.

For the impoverished residents of Tivoli Gardens, Coke is a key...

The Language Barrier

Bananas week 'round here, as we put the finishing touches on our addiction opus for Wired and prep for a much-needed vacation. (If anyone knows of must-see attraction on Michigan's Upper Peninsula, please advise.) So we're gonna float into the weekend by reviving our Bad Movie Friday feature, which has been absent from these pages for far too long. Fortunately, we've been saving up a gem—a particularly laughable entry from 's surprisingly extensive filmography. Though he's...

Rye and Beer at Nine-Fifteen

An associate of ours recently told us that John McPhee once stated that he lives in constant fear of being outed as a fraud. Since we share this uniquely writerly anxiety, we've been searching high and low for the exact quote in which one of non-fiction's true masters reveals himself to be a mere mortal. Try as we might, alas, we've been unable to locate the confession. But though our hunt has so far failed to achieve its primary goal, it hasn't been a total waste. The quest compelled us to r...

The Organ Trade Equation

As we jam on our monthly Wired column deadline, we thought we'd give y'all something to chew over—a interesting snippet pulled from this excellent Discover piece about the kidney black market in India. Given our philosophical leanings, we generally find ourselves arguing for the legalization and regulation of kidney sales. But then we come across data points like this, and we're forced to re-evaluate:

Iran, which has allowed kidney donations for cash since 1988, has virtually eliminated
the...