Roderick T. Macdonald's Blog, page 30

The Writing Life: When Plans Change

I have had many plans in my writing life. Or at least I thought they were plans at the time, when in truth they were more like wish lists. Either way, the imagined path has often gone awry.

This blog was originally going to be about dealing with when your writing process gets derailed, or when stories don’t work out, or life interrupts and you have to set writing aside for a time to deal with more pressing issues. However, recent events have switched its focus, because once again, a plan hasn’t exactly followed its expected course.

I am moving my release date back to October 5th. I did not want to, and I tried to stay on target, but I cannot (did not!) make October 1st. I decided that it’s better to push my launch back so I can be sure that when any potential reader goes looking, they find my book waiting for them, first time, every time. I don’t want to risk someone looking, not finding it, and then not coming back.

Nothing terrible happened: if there is any reason for the delay it is down to me. I thought I knew that things always take longer than anticipated. I forgot that things really do take longer than anticipated!

There is always something else you did not expect, and that really needs to be done. So a day or two slips by. A few of these and the days add up fast! Another lesson learned – build in a bit more wiggle room in the future. Stuff happens. I can’t change it, so I’m rolling with it. To use the old saw, this is an opportunity – I have more time to work on my checklist, to research and learn more about the inner workings of FB, to create more content for my online platforms, to say hello to my friends.

I had a plan, and now I’m changing it. On the bright side, that lines up some more material for another post in the future! I think it is important to realize that when plans change, it doesn’t have to mean abandoning the original idea. If the idea still has merit, it can be used later, not thrown away in frustration. That’s a lesson it took me a while to learn.

Change is not the enemy. Being paralyzed by it is. I think that if you keep moving forward, keep checking boxes and hitting other targets, even smaller ones, you can maintain your momentum. That is my goal.

See you on October 5th!

PreLaunch: No Time for Fear

Only a few days remain. Not to be dramatic or anything, but this is the culmination of a lifetime’s effort, and a childhood dream.

However, the important thing is this: I believe I’ve written a book that’s worth your time to read. And enjoy rereading. I really do believe this, when I swat away the gnats of doubt fizzing around my head.

It is easy to hit them – they’re the size of cantaloupes.

I hope you will read my book, and I hope you’ll tell me, and others, about it, and why you liked it, and what problems you may have with it. The gnats tell me it has flaws, every book does, but I’m more interested in your opinion than my own on that score. I can learn from you; I hear my own blather all the time.

So please, after you have read my book, share your opinions of it with me, with the world. Amazon likes verified purchase reviews, and so do I! Goodreads is waiting. Booktube beckons. I’m confident you’ll like it, but I’m ready to listen and learn. Your experience with my story and the characters that people it is important to me because now is not the time for fear, now is the time to embrace the fact that my book will soon belong to you, the readers.

Thank you.

Countdown Part 3: Ignition

It’s hard to believe I’ve reached this point, but the formatting of my first book is nearing completion. Soon, with the final text and image files in hand, there will be no impediment to launching The Thief and The Demon, only hesitation and the desire for everything to be “just so” before I hit that button.

The starter motor is rumbling, signaling its readiness to fire up the main engines. I feel more strapped in than ever, part of a process that cannot now be stopped, and that I don’t want to stop, but which still causes thrills of excited trepidation to shock through me. This is really going to happen, after a lifetime of waiting. Unlike the tortured analogy of a rocket launch that I have been indulging in, releasing a book does not require all preconditions to be perfect, which is lucky for me, given my rather incomplete systems check last week!

I still have some time though, to run through my checklist, to get as many more tasks completed as possible prior to launch, and to have those things that must wait until after launch to be implemented, like the Amazon and Goodreads author profiles, ready to go. This is also the time to take a few deep breaths and remind myself to accept that I won’t have everything exactly where I imagine I want it, that this is a learning process, and that I will get better at this in the future.

This is also a time to enjoy. These are the moments when all things remain possible, and one thing is certain: there is a particular monkey on my back that has ridden with me for a long time, but he isn’t coming with me on this journey. At long, long last, I will be free of him. I think I’m standing taller already.

The Writing Life: Why Now?

While I’ve always wanted to be a writer, for far too much of my life I wanted to write a first draft, be praised for my creativity, and have that draft magically transformed into a bestseller by some random alchemy that had nothing to do with me working on it myself. I wanted all the acclaim, none of the effort. It was an odd, and self-indulgent, fancy.

So this writing life is happening for me now because, at last, I realized life does not go on forever, and you don’t always have the next year, or the next five. And procrastinating in the hope that someone would come along and do all the work for me was decidedly unsuccessful as a plan.

The boring, unsexy truth that I read many times (but for so long chose to ignore) is that to be a writer, you have to do the work. The scattered and sometimes sublime first draft has to be revisited, refashioned, nailed down and made fit for public consumption. Or you can release the rough draft that some people might decide has potential, but most will just run away from with a click.

I am here because I finally realized I had to do the work, and I finally got around to doing it. No more, no less. And part of that hard work was hiring an editor, which does not mean that he or she does the work for you – it means you agree to do a lot of work with them. (Or you can do very little, and get very little in return for your money.)

So there it is, I’m doing this now because I want to, I feel driven to, and because I accepted that I needed to do the necessary hard work and then took it on. That work has already paid off, because I now know I’m a writer, after years of wondering if I had just been pretending.

That alone makes this journey worth it.

Countdown Part 2: Systems Check

In the previous countdown blog, I felt like I was strapped into the capsule, no turning back.

However, it is not enough to simply strap yourself to the top of a rocket and declare the job done, you need to control the engines, and maybe even be able to steer the thing if you want the launch to be successful. It’s time to ensure that the systems which will help to deliver my novel payload are up and running.

Website updated? In progress. Engineers are working on it as we speak. Blog content creation is in progress, a schedule set. Having content ready in advance reduces the pressure to make more each week, and makes writing each new column that much easier.

Facebook page activated? It exists, but requires work before launch. As noted last time out, I could have regret at not having been an aficionado of FB and an online forum dweller for years already, but the milk is spilled, no time to worry about it now. I do what I can when I can.

Mailing list created? Check, but it can always be expanded. Always.

Graphic design approved? Check. I love the design, it works as cover and thumbnail brilliantly. Final delivery date agreed. There are nerves about this, which is totally understandable, but my designer has been great, so I do not anticipate any problems. I just have that feeling you get when waiting for an important flight, you know it will arrive, but until you see it pull up to the gate, you can’t help but be a bit anxious. So I’m a bit anxious. It’s natural. I’m rolling with it.

Formatting completed? In progress, completion date logged. Nerves about this too, because the moment I sent my book to the formatter, I had to accept that it was in its final form. I have fiddled with those words forever, and now they are fixed, or I pay to shift them around. It is harder than I thought to accept that I am done messing with the text.

Why am I not formatting the book myself? Because I want everything associated with my book to be as professional as possible, and cannot guarantee that home-made formatting will work flawlessly across multiple devices. Hiring an industry pro gives me confidence that this will be the case. Of course I will feverishly check all formats after first upload and before the official launch date. Because quality control is always required.

Text reviewed pre and post formatting? Check, and yet to be checked. I don’t think you can re-check this too many times prior to launch, as the whole mission depends upon successful delivery of this media to the world. No pressure. And yes, I found and fixed a ‘couple’ of things on my last pass. I also accepted that I had to leave other words as they were, and trust my earlier self’s judgment. He was not working to the final deadline and freaking out. It’s cool. Breathe.

Amazon author profile ready? Check. But I can’t create my author profile until the book is published. I had hoped that registering my ISBNs would get the system to recognize the coming birth of The Thief and The Demon, but no, I must wait.

Goodreads author profile ready? Check, and the same story as above with Amazon. But what photo will I use? Must I inflict my image upon poor unsuspecting readers?

Potential reviewers contacted? Not yet. I should be doing this now, but I want to be able to answer interested replies with a swift response and dispatch of book to review in the reviewer’s favoured format. Hard to do that pre-launch. There is much chicken and egg to this process, I seem to be discovering.

So, the systems are up, but not all are running. I’d better get on with it before the launch window opens.

The Writing Life: Why me?

I’m not sure if I ever actually chose to be a writer. It seems to have always been with me, as natural as breath.

If I had to point to one event that set me on the road, it would be my mother reading me The Hobbit when I was five years old. I was transported. I did not want to story to end. After that, I read the book for myself, over and over.  At first that was enough, but soon I wanted more. I daydreamed alternative adventures, extra episodes. But daydreaming alone also proved insufficient. When I was seven, I decided to write my own version of The Battle of Five Armies. (Yep, I started out in fan fiction!)  It was eight glorious pages long. After that, I knew that what I wanted to do was write my own stories, and as I read my way repeatedly through Narnia and other imaginary lands, there was only ever one form my stories were going to take: the fantasy novel.

As a child it was never a question of whether, only when. I started my first novel when I was thirteen, writing at an old desk my mother inherited from an accountant’s office. I remember The Last in Line by Dio playing on my stereo and the sun shining through my window, which inspired me to start the book with a scene in sunlight. One hundred and sixty three pages later it was finished. I decided the book was not long enough, and I had a great idea, so I added in a parallel storyline, to get twice as much story! It had to be twice as good, right? And then on to the sequel, now with added subplots!

I still have those handwritten efforts, and the typed revisions and expansions that were hammered out on a typewriter also inherited from that accountant’s office.

All my dreams have been of writing, of being a writer, and though I put aside those early books, I never imagined a life without writing. It has been a long road from then until now, but always I’ve thought about stories, about novels to write, to re-write, to finish. In my 20s and 30s, I struggled for too long with a book I was too insecure to submit. Years were lost; hard, slow lessons were learned. Eventually I learned to swallow my brittle pride, and ask for help. Fortunately, but perhaps not surprisingly, I received it.

I decided to start afresh, something entirely new. I wondered what would happen if a thief, in the course of escaping from prison, released a demon. That seemed an interesting turn of events, and I explored it further. Thus, The Thief and The Demon, and so much more beyond it, was born.

So: why the writing life for me? Because despite all the distractions and diversions of life, all the other paths offered, I could not be anything else. And now, at long last, I’m about to bring my first novel to the world.

Countdown Part 1: Strapped In

Well, I’ve gone and done it. The Thief and The Demon, my debut novel, is scheduled to be formatted.

The cover has been designed, so now all I have to do is wait until the formatted text and the cover are united, and it will be time to upload. I feel like I’m in the capsule, strapped in, and waiting for launch. There is no turning back now.

It is a strange feeling, after spending so long striving to get here. The work of writing, re-writing, editing, re-editing, proofing, re-proofing, is all behind me now, when once it seemed as if it would never end.

And there is more to be done. I and my book do not yet truly exist on Facebook, nor on Amazon or Goodreads. I know, for I have seen it stated many times in advice on getting ready for publication, that I should already have been present in online communities, but alas I allowed the work of writing to consume me, until now. If this proves to be something I regret, so be it, I could not have gone another way.

I will read my book over one more time before submitting it to the formatter. And again, when I get it back. Not to make changes, not anymore, just to make sure everything is in place, and ready for launch. I’m calm about that, at long last. I’m looking forward to introducing it to you. I hope you like it.

The Thief and The Demon is ready. So, I hope, am I.

Welcome to My Writing Journey

I’ve blogged sporadically for a few years now, but with the publication of my first novel fast approaching, I thought it appropriate to reintroduce myself.

My name is Roderick T. Macdonald. I am 46. The age surprises me often. Time kept slippin’ away, and here I am, in the future. I am a writer. I have always been a writer, though I have not always been prepared to boldly say so. I write fantasy fiction.

Going forward, I’m going to share with you my experience as a self-publishing author, how I came to fantasy as my favoured genre, how I deal with this writing life, and what I plan to do next.

I am not an expert. I do not claim to be an authority. These will be my perspectives, and reflections on the lessons I have learned. Mistakes have been made in the past, and doubtless more will be made in the future, but as long as I am moving forward, I shall try to be content.

None of us who write are truly alone in our efforts, though often it seems so, wrestling the words in our heads. Join me, if you will, on this journey – companions make the miles pass more easily.

The Strange Highway of Novel Creation

For me, a line from this song really captures the amount of work involved in writing a novel.

“Every time I climbed the mountain, and it turned into a hill…”

So often have I thought I was nearly done, that surely it would all be over soon, only to discover a new mountain of work ahead of me. A look back at some of my early posts is proof of previous foolish hopes.

I look back on the many steps it took to get here, near the top of another mountain, knowing that soon I’ll see a new set of challenges awaiting me, more mountains to climb. I invite you, fellow traveller, to stop here awhile and see if these steps sound familiar to you, and be comforted in the knowledge that they can all be put behind you in the end.

The original idea became an outline in a relative flash.

The first draft started, and the first flush of excitement faded as I got bogged down for the first time, somewhere random where I did not expect it. I worked through it, and thought that the worst was over, and then it happened again. I got through that, and the writing flowed well, until I realised months had gone by, and I was still not half-way through my outline. The story, so streamlined in plan, became much bigger than envisaged when dealing with the nuts and bolts of character and events happening in the world of my creation. The writing is a sequence of mountains that turn into hills as you top each rise, complete each chapter, only to see more mountains of story waiting to be brought to life.

And that was the first draft.

I began to edit. In my case I began to learn how to edit. I thought I’d understood what that meant. I climbed the editorial mountain, told folk I was “almost finished editing” the book, like that would be the end, the mountain defeated. But no, it’s another hill. I learned that what I thought was editing was no more than fiddling around the edges, or “editong”, as I long ago put it. I learnt more, read more about the process, started again with significant structure, and climbed all those mountains again. Finally I reached a new end, having topped so many rises, always hoping to see the valley below, only to see another range of peaks ahead.

I looked at my novel, and was proud, but I knew that despite the tighter text and trimmed fat, it wasn’t really ready.

I realised, if I wanted to do this right, that I needed to hire a pro to edit my novel.

All the effort I had expended was just a preamble to the real work now beginning.

A developmental edit. My book was assessed, strengths and weaknesses identified, advice and ideas offered with the goal of making the story and its presentation stronger. I scheduled time to do rewrites. I decided what key changes needed to be made, and ensured that consistency was maintained throughout the book, no lingering remnants of earlier, now discarded, ideas lurking in the text. I finished all the rewrites. Another mountain climbed.

And it became yet another hill as I faced the line editing process. The long winding road of debating all the changes, line by line, suggested by my editor. Along the way a few lingering remnants I had missed were identified and excised. I climbed the mountain, and completed the line edit review.

Surely now I must be close. I’ve done the line edit, so a copy edit shouldn’t take too long, right?

You may be surprised at how much more the copy edit throws up (I was, and I tried to be ready for it!), and how, even at this stage, you can catch content related issues, just a little fix each time, just a little more cross-checking through the text. Just a little further to go.

Then proofing. Read it all again, aloud, to try to catch any sneaky typos, even though the line and copy edits have already combed over the text multiple times, and to check the rhythm of each sentence and paragraph. Despite everything, word repetitions still jump out, and have to be remedied, or let go. You begin to understand why Patrick Rothfuss can be mired in editing for 9 years.

All that is done now. I have climbed all the mountains of writing, and I have reached the other side. A cover has been created, formatting is being arranged. I know I’m going to read it again, aloud, when I get the formatted copy, to check every word and line is correct. One more mountain. Then the valley, at last, the valley.

At many many points along this journey, all of it uphill, I have reminded myself of the line that comes after the one quoted at the beginning of this post, and used it to keep myself going. I hope you do too, in any creative endeavour you find taking longer, being harder, than you first thought or expected it would be.

“I promised me that I’d move on, and I will…”

It’s a long road. Keep walking it. You will reach your destination, if you just keep moving on.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m just about to top another rise. There is a neon sign ahead that flashes words at random. Words like publication, marketing, sales. I wonder what they mean…

 

The Wheel Rolls On

***This post contains spoilers about Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, stop here if you have not completed it!***

So I finally finished reading the Wheel of Time, twenty two or three years after starting it.

I am so glad I did. The ending is worth the wait, or it was for me.

I read the last 450 pages in one orgiastic sitting. It was fantastic.

Yes I have quibbles and issues. But I got plenty of page-burning excitement and moments of elation and sadness, pity and joy. It was a fitting finale, and I loved that at last it could be written that it was not the end, just an end. Perfect.

I am a writer. Living in a glass house, I have decided not to throw any more stones than I did last time out, and I threw those with love. I can go join the forums over at dragonmount.com and debate all my crazy pet theories there, and probably get schooled!

The Wheel of Time is an astonishing achievement, vast in breadth and detail. Not everything is going to dovetail nicely together. There will be unresolved conflicts, hanging threads of the pattern, as it were. The story rolls on in our minds – another impressive achievement. I wonder what directions the fanfic has taken!

Okay, one pet theory – just one!

Ourobouros isn’t just a motif on the cover. We’ve been warned from the start that this story never truly begins or ends – so how did we really expect this telling of the tale to end? With the Wheel of Time broken? Then there would be no more beginnings and endings. That rather destroys the conceit Jordan spent years of his life creating and explicitly stated at the outset of every book. I might have liked it to end that way, with Rand being a total badass and breaking the Wheel by destroying the Dark One and essentially daring the Creator to recreate a Dark One, if he, the Creator, thought it so necessary. That would be an intriguing twist.

I did not entirely buy the vision of a world without the Dark One, but I could see why it was shown not to work within the framework of the Wheel of Time universe built around the idea of Yin and Yang. So, in a very real sense, from the beginning of the series this kind of end was predicted. Only the details are allowed to change in the Wheel of Time, the overall structure remains the same, played out again and again. Is that enough for everyone? I have philosophical issues with determinism vs free will in this series. I mean, is Rand truly free to make any decision other than the one he does? Will the pattern let him? He pulls the Dark One into the pattern during the final confrontation, so at that time Rand is also within the pattern as he his physically holding the Dark One, so they must both be exposed to the pattern. So can Rand really resist the pattern’s unfolding in that circumstance? The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. And even if he, Rand, were still outside of the pattern, everything he is, his instincts and experiences, all are products of the pattern. Hard to escape them. So he imprisons the Dark One as it was before the bore was opened, and the Wheel starts a new cycle. It isn’t the Dark One who always wins, but the Wheel.

The text tries to say that the Dark One had never been the true enemy – the implication being that humanity had been its own enemy all this time, humanity which had foolishly opened the bore, and humanity that needed to have the wisdom to close it again. But can humanity learn anything in a deterministic universe? You could argue that the Wheel, and the pattern it lays out is the real enemy, if you belive that free will is a necessary and good thing. Rand does not appear to come to that conclusion, as his actions ultimately maintain the status quo and keep the Wheel turning. I find it hard at times to look beyond the pattern, and everyone trapped within it but the Dark One, the Creator, and, in very special circumstances, the Creator’s champion, the Dragon. Or is he the pattern’s champion? Either way the effect is pretty similar. For me that creates very significant limitations on what can or should change in this universe. Ever. Moridin’s nihilism becomes a rational response, and the poor bastard is doomed to be spun out over and over again to make the same choices and feel the same insanity and despair! No wonder he just wants it all to end! Is there a worse fate? (I can imagine a few, a minor one being this: who wants to be destined for a trolloc cookpot for eternity, or to be a trolloc??) But as a story, the finale had to unfold that way. It absolutely had to. In my opinion!

I love that these books, in addition to telling me an incredible story with characters and settings that will live with me for the rest of my life, also gave me the opportunity to reflect on such fundamental concepts as free will and determinism in a new way, through the prism of a deeply crafted world. And get a very pleasant brainache from it! Not a standard response to a fantasy novel! Another outstanding triumph for Mr Jordan.  Another reason to thank Mr Sanderson for completing the series and giving everyone the ending Mr Jordan wanted us to have.

There can probably be no endings to such discussions, but I have come to an ending for this one.

My new cat is licking my head. It tickles. Farewell!