Isabelle Charlotte Kenyon's Blog, page 8

Have we become disengaged from God? (A Book Review)

I review Three Daughters of Eve by Elif ShafakThe story as I see it: without too many spoilers!Our main protagonist, Peri, is confused – about her body, how to belong at Oxford University and how to understand God. This is the first time that Peri has been out of Istanbul – she both cherishes and retreats from her newfound freedoms.Peri meets a Professor Azur, whose reputation precedes him – a man of appealing intelligence and status. Persuaded by rebellious muslim, Shirin, Peri attends his famous seminars on God and begins to find herself more and more troubled. Azur’s teachings are controversial, challenging everything, even the way his students lead their life. Peri finds herself lost in his questions, so lost in her own head that she believes Azur is the answer to all of her problems.However, as an intellectual romantic, Peri falls in love with the idea of a man, overlooking his flaws. Azur is intrigued by Peri as a tortured soul – he only seems to show remorse at encouraging her destruction of self, upon hearing about her suicide attempt.My verdict:The characters in this book are complex but Shafak has trouble deciding which ones to focus on. The book is non chronological and leaps from 2001 to 2016, when Peri has a family of her own. Early on in the book, a photo of Peri with friends Shirin and Mona and Azur is flagged as significant, but Mona is never fully given space to breathe as a character within the plot. I wondered what really motivate these three girls to call themselves friends, as there is rarely a fond moment between them.The setting of Oxford University may alienate or obscure some of the plot line – the intensity with which the girls apply themselves to their study and Peri’s inability to relax and enjoy her time at university without anxiety, can perhaps only be understood within the context of a high pressure institution. University can be isolating but each time the book changed time zone, I lost the mounting pressure of the situation which builds to the climax of the court scene.Although the ending had lost some of its desired impact, and a few ends seemed rushed, this book left me thinking about my relationship with God. Today very rarely do we continue to study, learn and indulge curiosity about God. The topics and conversation encouraged by Shafak are important if we are ever to be able to talk openly between faiths.Are we a generation of disengagement when it comes to deep conversations about God? Leave a comment with your thoughts!Nominations for Saboteur awards are now open HERE - please nominate Please Hear What I'm Not Saying for Best Anthology and This is not a Spectacle for Best Pamphlet - your support means the world and your vote will only take a few seconds!

First Fundraising Total

It's been just over a month since the launch of Please Hear What I'm Not Saying.I've been overwhelmed by the support the book has had and my heart is warm by how important its messages are to readers.I am excited to announce that our first fundraising total comes to £335.76! This will go directly to Mind and I can't wait to see what the next month brings.So I have a favour to ask...whether you have bought the book or not! The Saboteur awards have just opened. We need a LOT of nominations to get 'Please Hear What I'm Not Saying' up to the public vote in a month. Please nominate the Mind anthology for 'Best Anthology' here.What is a Saboteur award?Well Sabotage Reviews was founded in 2010 by Claire Trévien to provide dynamic commentary and reviews of small-scale and ephemeral literature that might not otherwise receive such critical and public attention. The focus is on independent, small-budget literature; poetry pamphlets, short stories and live performance (particularly open mic events and spoken word shows). Sabotage is representative of the hugely diverse amount of work actually being made and written in the 'literary ecology'. ‘In poetry, if the stale old hierarchies - page v stage, artist v critic, establishment v avant-garde - are crumbling, it's because of the work encouraged by Sabotage.’ -- Susannah Herbert, director of the Forward Prizes and National Poetry Day.Reader photo:

Our identity is fluid.

One of the themes within the Mind anthology 'Please Hear What I'm Not Saying' is the identity of motherhood and the struggles (and joys) being a mother brings.Poets have explored the label of being a mother and whether this becomes a new identity - an identity which perhaps destroys their own. They have also explored love through the lens of postpartum depression.To explore this from a personal angle, I invited Mind poet, Leila Tualla, to guest blog today on identity and motherhood!Our identities begin to take shape even before we are born. Most parents upon finding out they are pregnant, immediately start thinking about whether they will have a prince or princess. Pink and blue nursery color schemes emerge, as does names, and what he or she will look like or do.Our identities can catalogue and separate us into neat little boxes if we’re not too careful. We can also let the people around us dictate our own identity, and both tensions and anxiety arise the moment when we realize that we can form our own opinions, be able to speak as our own person, and carve the identity we want.Growing up, my parents put a lot of emphasis on my identity as the “pretty” and the “dutiful” one. My older sister had the voice and the leadership quality. I followed where she led. My younger sister was the athlete, and one who could never do anything wrong. Even as I began college, I was still following parental rules and doing everything that I was supposed to do. It wasn’t until I had a full blown anxiety attack in my dorm that I realized I didn’t want to fit in this preconceived box.This box that my parents had long ago drawn out for their daughters.This box that loomed far bigger than anything I owned in my 130 square feet dorm room.When I chose my own career path and carved out what I hoped to accomplish, I assumed this box with suffocating labels would be squashed. I graduated. I got married and left my home town. Life and things seemed to go on swimmingly.And then life reminds you to hold on tight for all the twists and turns you didn’t see coming. I gave birth to my daughter in 2012. It was the best and worst thing that had happened to me. Best because, my daughter changed how I perceived myself and my world view. She gave me a new identity and a new purpose in life. And worse because she was born nine weeks early and spent six weeks in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Every so often, I am reminded of her journey and I get flashes of memories that played out in the NICU. I remember the sounds and a blur of faces.When I was pregnant with my son in 2015, these images seemed to follow me everywhere. Every waking moment was spent trying to delete all these faces and calm my worry. I don’t remember thinking this is the happiest day of my life when my son was born at 34 weeks, 6 days.I moved on autopilot, smiling for the camera, “hashtagging” normalize breastfeeding photos and willing myself to bond with this infant that I didn’t want; an infant who lived inside my worry, inside my terror, and was now suckling what little energy I had. I became so great at pretending that no one could see or even pinpoint where I was coming apart. Then again, I think I’ve always been great at hiding. My childhood prepared me for keeping things in boxes; folding up these emotions and memories and tucking them away.Little by little, a small tear.I discovered that my bouts of rage the first few weeks of my son’s life sustained me. This anger was directed towards me, to my husband and to this body that failed me twice, and the prayers, and bargaining to a God that I became so sure muted me a long time ago.My perfectly shaped box started to crumble.Inside was this person that took everyone’s opinions to heart, and whose words mattered more than her own being, much to her detriment. Inside this box, was this identity that became so angry at the world for putting her in such tight restraints, that she needed to get out and be free.I continued to lash out because I was finally starting to feel. I’d drive for hours to quiet and isolate the pain and it bubbled out frequently that I feared for my actions and sought help.When I finally left my career, I threw myself into mommy mode and tried again to fit into this box of the “perfect mom.” But what happens when that identity causes flashbacks of pain? What happens when we feel guilty for “entertaining” the ideas of what ifs when plenty of moms lived through far worse and grief has made a permanent fixture in their home?Motherhood, as isolating as it can be, is an ongoing process of forgiveness and grace. Forgive the messes, and give yourself the grace that what you are doing is what is best for you and your family. No matter what it looks like. No matter what box it fits in or doesn’t.I’m learning to stop every so often and remind myself that this is not just my season, but theirs. In their childhood, in their innocence and what they’ll remember when they look back and reflect on. Our identities are fluid, and seasons of joy and grief cause shifts in who we are and what we believe we are. Our circumstances shape our identities in how we see our world, and how we respond to it. And isn’t that the most amazing thing to realize? We are not stagnant but a constant evolving thing. We are not the same today as yesterday.So in my particular season, I am a stay at home mama. I’m a poet. I’m an author. I’m a mess. I’m a worry wart. I’m an anxious believer. I’m a wayward Catholic. I’m a sinner.I’m a work in progress.I’m everything that I want to be. I’m everything that I don’t want to be.And I’m perfectly okay with all of that. To read Leila's poem within the anthology and the 115 other poets involved, go here.

WeArtFriends Launches International Poetry Competition

WeArtFriends have launched their first international poetry competition! I am pleased to announce that I will judge the competition along with 5 other exciting poets.Some details:Poems can be on any subject, in any style or form. You do not have to be a published poet to enter.There is no limit of entries a single entrant can enter.All entries are judged anonymously.If your entry has been longlisted or shortlisted in other competitions, but it has not won a prize, it is eligible for the WeArtFriends Poetry Tournament Prize.Simultaneous submissions are allowed but will become ineligible if they win a prize or are published prior to the date the results are announced; entry fees will not be refunded. You must inform WeArtFriends immediately if your entry is published or wins a prize elsewhere.WeArtFriends will award the following prizes:First prize: 1. Included in WeArtFriends anthology with 20 poems+ winner paperback copy + winner kindle copy2. Author featured and poem published in the doorway to art magazine3. A designated section on WeArtFriends for the author and 3 months advertisingSecond prize:1. Included in WeArtFriends anthology with 10 poems + winner kindle copy2. A designated section on WeArtFriends for the author and 2 months advertisingThird prize:1. Included in WeArtFriends anthology with 5 poems2. A designated section on WeArtFriends for the author and 1 month advertisingRunners up will be included in the WeArtFriends anthology. All included in the anthology will get a pdf.WeArtFriends reserves the right to amend these rules where it is deemed necessary to do so. Any changes to the rules will be posted on the WeArtFriends website www.we-art-friends.comAll entries must be submitted by 12 midnight (UK time) on Monday 21st May 2018.Full Rules:https://we-art-friends.com/rules/

Author Interview: Cyrus Parker

This week I interviewed poet and author, Cyrus Parker, ahead of the release of his new poetry book, DROPKICKromance. Enjoy!So Cyrus, you have a book coming out in the next few weeks, DROPKICKromance, can you tell me how you decided on the title? I’m not sure what the process is for other poets, but for me, I often come up with a title first, and that dictates the theme of the collection. I went through a number of titles and thus, themes, while writing DROPKICKromance, and DROPKICKpoetry is one title that kept speaking to me. For those who don’t know, I spent about five years wrestling professionally on the Michigan independent circuit, and I felt that DROPKICKpoetry served as somewhat of a bridge between Cyrus Parker the wrestler and Cyrus Parker the poet. I completed the first draft of DROPKICKpoetry, but ultimately, I felt that I tried to tackle too many topics at once, and the collection just didn’t flow well. I was then faced with a dilemma: continue pushing forward with DROPKICKpoetry and hope I could make it work, or scrap it and start from scratch. After having a conversation with my then-fiancée, Amanda Lovelace, we both decided it would be best if I started over and focused on a narrower range of topics. My process kind of flipped flopped here, and rather than starting with the title like I usually do, I decided to theme the book around relationships, and then gave it a name. The title DROPKICKromance was actually a section title from the DROPKICKpoetry draft, and I’m so happy I was able to make use of it. You've recently married poet Amanda Lovelace (congratulations!) - would you say the book, with its themes of romance, is an extended love poem to her? Thank you so much! To answer your question, yes and no. DROPKICKromance is very much a tale of two relationships. When I started writing for DROPKICKpoetry, I found myself going back to a place I had no interest in going—quite the opposite, actually. The first half or so of DROPKICKromance deals with a relationship I was involved in for several years, prior to my relationship with Amanda. The relationship was toxic for a number of reasons, and I internalized most of what I had felt during that time. I told myself I’d never write about that relationship as it has been over and done with for a while, but the more I wrote, the more it begged me to write about it. I’d decided that if I ever wanted to write about anything else, I needed to exorcise these pent up emotions and try to deal with the lingering effects of them. DROPKICKromance walks you through that relationship, the aftermath of it, and into my relationship with Amanda. The second half of the book is very much an extended love letter to Amanda, and admittedly, it was the most challenging part to write. In DROPKICKromance, there’s a poem that addresses this in greater detail, but in short, I find it much easier to put to articulate pain than I do love and happiness. No matter what I wrote, I never felt that I was doing Amanda or our relationship the justice it deserved, so I ended up putting a ton of added pressure on myself, which I do think helped my writing in the end. You write 'he tried to immortalise his name amongst the stars, but at the end of the day, he was just a tiny little man in a great big world' - but do you believe that writing, and poetry specifically, CAN have a wider impact? Absolutely, and I think the fact that this poem and question are paired together is somewhat proof of that. Art, in the general sense, can be interpreted in as many different ways as there are people, and poetry is no different. The poem quoted above was actually written as commentary on the way possessing an overinflated ego can make one think they’re much bigger than they really are, but the world will always be bigger. That’s what I wrote about, but that doesn’t mean it will be interpreted that way. People will always relate to poetry in different ways, and a poem can impact one person in an entirely different way than it impacts another, and that in itself is poetry. Further than that, poetry has the power to inspire change. So many poets use their poetry as a means of social and political commentary, and those poems often inspire others to speak out on what their passionate about, and when so many people are taking a stand for what they believe in, that’s how change happens. Poetry and protest go hand in hand. Who is your favourite writer and why? Aside from my wife, my favorite writer is Leigh Bardugo, author of the Grisha trilogy, and my personal favorite, the Six of Crows duology. I loved the Six of Crows series so much that I got the tattoo that most of the main characters have on their arm tattooed on my own arm. Fun fact: Leigh Bardugo actually officiated mine and Amanda’s wedding, which made an already unforgettable day even more so! Where can we find you when you're not writing? Either sitting at home next to my cat, Macchiato, watching Fullmetal Alchemist, or wandering around my favorite park catching Pokémon in Pokémon GO! Can you share a favourite poem from the book with us? Sure thing! let’s build bookshelves together and fill them with our story. — ours will always be my favorite. Thank you so much for taking the time to interview me!Get in contact with Cyrus:Cyrus ParkerAuthor/Poethttp://cyrusparker.comTwitter: @cyrusparkerInstagram: @cyrusparker

Why secondary school ruined poetry

I recently picked up a copy of Carol Ann Duffy's 'Love Poems' - and read from cover to cover. I loved it.Carol was on my secondary syllabus and I hated her. I thought she had no idea about love and used clunky descriptions.I now think she knows everything about love and uses skilfully weaved imagery. What's changed?Well, I grew up. And I would argue, school gave us a syllabus about love before we even knew the emotion romantically.So here's a poem which pretty much sums up both my review of the book, and my feelings on that English lesson!School SyllabusWhat I didn’t know wasCarol Ann Duffy is a geniusand knows what it is to love:We sat crisp in year seven blazers and chortledat the English teacher’s expense –passion never in trendand we wondered, cruelly,if both she and Carol were single,or gayand discarded that poem of a moon – onionlike something soiled or distasteful.Today I check out Carol Ann Duffy at the library,in an act of pure nostalgia for those girlsand their rolled up skirtsand find brilliance,truthand ironythat we were handed this workat a time when we did not even know ourselves.

Is mental health a selfish condition?

This week I went to see 'The Almighty Sometimes' at the Royal Exchange Theatre in Manchester. Directed by Katy Rudd, and a winner of the Bruntwood Prize for playwriting in 2015, this play was packed with snappy dialogue, wit, and an indepth understanding of mental health.'Anna', played by Norah Lopez Holden, has been on medication since the age of 8, at the age of 18, decides she wants to know who she is without the pills. But Anna's body is reliant on the medication - her brain's processes rely on the chemicals for stability. Once off the medication, Anna's downward spiral is uncontrollable. She becomes cruel and destructive to the only people who support her utterly: her Mother and her then boyfriend, Oliver. She becomes anxious and manipulative so that no one can leave her side. She begins to believe she is some kind of God, and that the medication suppresses her true genius.I was most affected by Anna's line, at the end of the play - Anna has been hospitalised and her Mother admits that she has been seeing a counsellor herself for depression. Anna brutally says 'What do you expect me to do with that?' and means it. There is no room in Anna's mind for others - both Oliver and mother, Renee, tell her she never asks questions about their lives. Anna cannot control her own mind, her own sense of self - and so she cannot focus on anyone else.Her condition requires a constant gratification from her mother and gives nothing back in return.Put simply, Renee's love for her daughter is thankless, restrictive and isolating.Director Kate Rudd says 'This play tells the story of a unique experience and does not seek to give answers, it is not representative of everyone's story, but I hope that it will shine a light on families coping with mental illness, that it will encourage a conversation about how we as a society look after our young people with mental health problems.'Catch the playhere.Support the Mind Anthology, Please Hear What I'm Not Saying here. Your purchase of the book is a donation to UK Charity Mind.

Why we love poetry (and you should too!)

Poetry gets a bad rep - stereotypes like 'hard to read', 'pretentious' float around and excuses like 'I just don't have time to read, I'd rather spend my free time doing things' occur, when I mention I love to read and write.But the fact remains that poetry sales are rising - so why is that?Well I would say that 1. Poetry teaches us to reflect on the world around us - to take time out to appreciate what we have in detail; to look at nature as a thing of wonder and to zone in on details we may otherwise miss.2. Poems make us reflect on our own feelings and experiences - and enable us to articulate these.3. Writing poetry helps us remember - memories which we can re read at a later stage and smile, or painful memories which we can read to reflect on how far we have come.4. Poems help us to relate our situations to others. We may realise that the world is much smaller than we initially believe - and feel closer to the people around us as a result.Why do you read poetry? What do you love about it?

The Mind Poets have spoken...

...and they have a lot to say to you.On mental health:'Mental illness even now is still being brushed under the carpet. Doctors are misdiagnosing it, or just blanking it. This means you can go for years with out proper treatment, which then can lead on to other things such as substance abuse. This book is a small part of showing that it is happening and if you suffer from it don't suffer in silence.'- Eddie J CarterWhy the Mind anthology is important:[The book will] 'continue the conversation around mental health and reduce the stigma.' - Anne Walsh Donnelly'It’s full of brilliant poetry and proceeds go to a great cause.'- Sallyanne Rock'...to open conversations, increase empathy, comfort readers who realize they are not alone in their struggles. Also, supporting MIND gives legitimacy to the significance of mental health.'- Carrie Danaher HoytOn why they love to write:'My wild imagination compels me to put pen to page.'- Anne Walsh Donnelly'I started writing because it helped me through some tough times. Now I write because I can’t stop!'- Sallyanne Rock'I write because there are so many stories to be written and voices to be heard that would otherwise never see the light of day.'- Gayla VarnaOn why the anthology is unique: 'I am very much aware of the high cost of services to support people with mental health problems but of course this is just one of the reasons to buy the book – to support a very important cause. The other reason is that 116 poets from all over the world have donated their words for the ‘Please Hear What I’m Not Saying’ anthology and in this way have made it an exquisite and unique collection of poems.'- Galya VarnaOur voices make a difference! Poetry can change the world around us, if we will only let it.Buy the bookhere.

Books to light a fire in your heart this February!

More and more I opt for a night in with a book, a notebook and a pen. Inspiration as opposed to a hangover!These books inspired me - I hope they inspire you too.Tell Me Where It Hurts by J.R. RogueEveryone go read this book! Rogue's poetry is fragile and brave. She describes herself as playing Russian Roulette with her body, and the hints of things she has been through suggest pain has been a game of tug and pull her whole life. This book does not shy away from blame, social critique, feminism, opinion, or raw emotion. I really appreciate that this book has been written and I am in love with this beautifully orchestrated writing.Wishing for Birdsby Elisabeth HewerTo me this was a book about dreaming. Dreaming of being bigger, better, someone who makes a mark on the world. I love the way Elisabeth challenges the idea that life will always be 'unfair' and instead says it is people and their inability to be kind which is often to blame. I loved the idea that sensitivity and positivity can change the world and I really hope that one day people will favour 'feeling emotion too deeply' over gaining power by caring less.Wayward Daughtersby Ashly KimOriginal and nostalgic Kim describes this book as 'a collection of poetry for anyone who has ever marveled at the ocean or eaten tacos from a food truck.'There is something universal about this writing even though it is nothing like my own childhood. I loved sharing the memories and dreams of this family.Forgive Me My Saltby Brenna TwohyPowerful!! Brenna really captivated me by the end of this book, with her feminist call out to the porn industry and it's idealisation of underage women, with its presentation of women without personalities, without a background, without anything but their mouths. It was the poem addressed to the man at the back of a spoken word event which I remember the most - Brenna highlights his boredom for her rape poem as part of the problem. Society has disengaged from our angry voices, even though circumstances have not moved on. Highly recommended this book!Snippets from the book below:Thanks for reading! Comment with your favourite books so far this year. Remember 'Please Hear What I'm Not Saying' is out now and available here!