Jessica Wildfire's Blog, page 416

I’m a writer.

I’m a writer. What I put on my blog stays there. If someone wants to drag it out into my personal life and start a conflict with me, I’ll just ignore them. That probably can’t work for everyone. But that’s my stance.

That’s a powerful metaphor!

That’s a powerful metaphor!

It sounds like Facebook has no idea what it is or what it does anymore.

It sounds like Facebook has no idea what it is or what it does anymore.

I’ll spend 20 on sushi and bourbon, and then give the rest to my debt collectors. :D

I’ll spend 20 on sushi and bourbon, and then give the rest to my debt collectors. :D

Unicorn tastes great, but it’s rough on the digestive system of mere mortals.

Unicorn tastes great, but it’s rough on the digestive system of mere mortals.

I should frame this comment. You’ve summed up the art of writing/blogging perfectly. :)

I should frame this comment. You’ve summed up the art of writing/blogging perfectly. :)

Embrace your strange

I’ve been blogging for about a year now. People want to know my secret. How I got so successful. First, I’m not that successful. I’m doing okay. Second, there’s only one secret. Embrace your strange. We’re all weird and interesting. Writers find ways to pull out the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Your life is interesting to you. It’s potentially riveting to millions of other people. The trick’s figuring out how to make your everyday life compelling to them. Maybe you like collecting stamps, building models, and sorting mail. Taxidermy? Decades of pop culture has told us those things are boring. But are they? That depends on you.

Imagine a girl who’s lived with her parents her entire life. She’s 24. Now she’s finally moving into her first apartment. She’s a veterinarian. She doesn’t go clubbing. She’s not going to marry a prince. Her dream is to open a cat shelter. She owns one cat, who sneaks into bed and wakes her up with its purrs at night. Now, that sounds like a blog worth reading.

My best blog posts aren’t about climbing Mount Everest every weekend. Let’s take stock. My top stories cover the following:

I never had an orgasm until I turned 30.

I never traveled outside the country until my late 20s. Unless you count that time in Mexico, where we had dinner just south of the border, and I got diarrhea for two days. We spent hours crossing the border for one mediocre beef fajita. That’s the story of my life.

I masturbate a lot.

I had a lot of sex with strangers on Second Life.

My parents were mean to me.

Wow, all that sounds kind of pathetic. But I make it sound really cool on my blog. And that’s the secret to writing.

Everyone I know has had some kind of experience like this. That’s actually why I think my blog does well. I try to find the funny, absurd, and tragic aspects of everyday life. I try to be honest. And honest is funny. I’m not even the only person who does this. That’s basically every comedian you see on Netflix. That’s the hidden key to Medium’s best bloggers.

You don’t need to be super attractive, smart, or adventurous to be a good writer. In fact, that can work against you. One aspiring writer I know made a huge point of explaining how attractive and smart she was on the first page of her manuscript. She described herself as “hawt.”

Seriously?

She didn’t just hint at it. She wrote something like, “Life is hard for hawt chicks. I would know, because I am one.”

I’ll vouch for her. She’s seriously hot. And she’s had an interesting life. One day, she might become the next authorial sensation. But not yet.

Vanity gets you nowhere, at least not in your writing. If you’re so hot, then post a selfie and focus on your content. People dig writers who are down to earth. You’ve got to master that first. Your selfie might draw people to your post, but the writing keeps them there.

Do things you don’t want to do. Your viral blogs have a price. No matter your goals, you’ll have to do things you don’t like. Maybe even things you hate. Me? I love being a professor. I love the extra pay boost that comes with serving as an associate department head. But that means sometimes I have to talk to angry parents on the phone. I have to do lots of tedious tasks like plan class schedules and go to meetings about accreditation reviews.

Go for brutal honesty. I’m not talking about the details. I change those up so I don’t get sued. I’m talking about core truths. I write about things I would never tell my closest friends. That’s the irony of blogging.

None of my blogs about my career have done especially well. My best posts are always about how fucked up I am on the inside, even though I’ve managed to acquire all of the external markers of success.

Everyone has things they can be brutally honest about. That doesn’t always mean personal flaws. You can talk straight about anything. On Medium, you have to. People come here for the honest take. If they want “facts,” they’ll go to The Huffington Post. Here, they want people who write from experience. Whether you’re a professor or a software designer, here is where you say what you really want people to know.

Read other blogs. Every day, I read at least 5–6 posts on Medium by other writers. I try to balance my reading between people in my network and new authors. Reasons for that abound. First, you develop a feel for the platform. You learn the genre. Also, just plain karma.

Write about your interests. That’s all you can do, right? The only alternative is writing about things you find boring. Let’s say you decide to blog about meditation, because you see a handful of bloggers doing well in that area. But if you don’t care about meditation, your writing will suck. And nobody will read it.

Post whenever you have time. I’ve read about web traffic and peak hours. The problem? I can’t write at 1 pm on Thursday. I’ve got a job. I could schedule my posts for peak hours. But I’d rather not. I write late at night, and I can’t sleep until I hit “publish.” So I’ve remained true to my own schedule. Sure, maybe some of my posts would’ve gotten more hits. But not that much. And some of my biggest posts I published at 3 am.

One locked, always locked. Don’t jerk your Medium readers around. For the past few months, I’ve only published locked stories. People fret over whether to lock their posts or not. For me, it’s very simple: If you really enjoy my writing, then you have two choices. Pay $5 measly bucks a month. Or wait until next month and then read 3 of my posts.

Sure, you can write free stories for publications. It’s fun. It might boost your followers. Or you might have a message that you want lots of people to see. If I like someone enough, I might unlock a story for them. But that’s the exception. Not the rule.

Your goals might not be mine. Some of the most popular writers on Medium write mostly free stories. Maybe they just enjoy writing. Maybe they’re building up a following for some other reason. Me? I enjoy writing. And now that I have a chance to get paid, I’m going to lock my stories. In case you haven’t heard, living costs a lot of money.

I think there’s a big difference between blowing off some steam or complaining about your job vs.

I think there’s a big difference between blowing off some steam or complaining about your job vs. what martyrs do. We all have to vent sometimes. And I think a lot of us also feel like we’re pulling more weight than we should. Martyrs just seem to seek it out and then handle it passive aggressively.

When I said I would be going to the gym every day, I meant every day that I felt like it?

When I said I would be going to the gym every day, I meant every day that I felt like it?

Glad you liked, and you even managed to save your coffee!

Glad you liked, and you even managed to save your coffee!