Christa Avampato's Blog, page 96

In the pause: Me too. And other things on my mind related to the rampant problems of sexual assault and harassment.

Me too.

If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.

And here are some other things that are on my mind as I watch my social media feeds fill up with this very sad realization that we have been harmed for far too long:

– As someone who has had to call people out for poor behavior (publicly, loudly, and repeatedly), we must have each other’s backs. It is an extremely sad fact that I have experienced even more bullying from other women than I have from men. Even though bullying is not assault, it is certainly harassment. And ladies, we just cannot tolerate this anymore, collectively or individually. Women who treat people badly, whether those people are male or female, must also be called on the carpet and stopped.

– This is not a male versus female problem. This is a human problem. I am incredibly fortunate that the men in my life are upstanding, respectful, and kind. (As one friend recently pointed out, a**holes don’t last long in my world.) Ladies, if someone mistreats you, promptly get rid of him. And if there are reasons you can’t get rid of him, then get help immediately from friends, family members, support groups, co-workers, or public services. This kind of man is not good enough for you. Either he treats you well, or he gets his walking papers. Period. I have seen far too many of my amazing female friends waste their time and energy in relationships with men who do not deserve them. It’s far better to not be in a relationship than to be in one with a man who isn’t good for you. I have learned this the hard way.

– Do not suffer in silence. Intimidation is one of the prime ways that sexual harassment and assault is perpetuated, and perpetrators count on the fact that you won’t say something to someone. Stand up, speak out, and get support. If you don’t know who to call, then call me. I’ll help. I’ll always help.

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In the pause: You have to ask to receive

Ask. For help. For a promotion. For a raise. For advice. For a date. The power of the ask can’t be underestimated. Hoping for better days and success is a fine thing to do though if we really want something to manifest, I only know one way to make it happen: we must put ourselves out there. Way out there. Pitch yourself to anyone and everyone whom you’d like to meet and know and work with. Find the win-win. Have confidence. Have faith that the more often you raise your voice, the more likely you are to find your tribe.

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In the pause: My book about Emerson Page goes to Germany thanks to Books on the Run

Germany, Emerson may be seated next to you on your commute some day soon. I just finished a fun video interview for my book, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, with the lovely sisters Davina and Samantha who run Books on the Run Germany, the German chapter of Books on the Move Global. They interview authors and run a mobile library in Germany. For the mobile library, they leave books on the public transit system in Germany for people to find, read, and then return to any German public transit system for others to find and read.

My book will be part of their transit program next month. Our video interview as well as a separate video of me reading a passage of the book will all be available soon. Stay tuned!

Thanks to Davina and Samantha for being such wonderful hosts. I have a feeling that Emerson will find herself in Germany in a future book. After all, Germany invented the movable-type printing press and printed the first book in history, the Gutenberg Bible, two copies of which are at the Morgan Library here in New York City. I sense some kismet and synchronicity coming on…

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In the pause: I stopped by Megyn Kelly Today to chat about how shoppers can use the psychology of retail store design to save money

Thank you so much to Megyn Kelly Today for having me on the show! Happy to share the segment with former flight attendant Bobby Laurie, waiter and author Darron Cardosa. Check out the clip below:

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In the pause: Copies of my novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, arrived on my doorstep

[image error]There’s no feeling quite like getting a box of your books delivered to your door. Yesterday I got to experience this feeling first-hand, and it is amazing. I looked at my box of Emerson Page books, now bound for reviewers, and thought about all of the time, effort, and love that I poured into every speck of the them. My heart flooded with gratitude for all of the encouragement and love that I’ve received from friends and mentors during this long and winding road to publication. Though we’ve come so far, this is really just beginning. We have many books ahead of us. Many stories to tell, people to meet, and places to travel together. I can’t wait to share this with all of you.

The book is now available for pre-order on Amazon at amzn.to/2wAhmvG. If you’re interested in a review copy of the book or partnering with me in some way, please let me know at christa.avampato@gmail.com.

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In the pause: Day of the Girl and Emerson Page, a justice fighter

[image error]My book, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, will be released three weeks from today. It’s the story of a young girl who is searching for answers to life’s greatest questions; a young girl who empowers herself and others to fight for justice. On this Day of the Girl, I hope that my book shines a light on the actions of young people and their incredible potential to make this world a better place.

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In the pause: How Writing Frees Us to Free Others – my post for #ShatteringStigmas on the blog It Starts at Midnight

I’m so honored to be a part of the #ShatteringStigmas series on the wonderful book blog It Starts at Midnight. I’ve been following Shannon’s excellent writing, and when I saw that she was doing a program around erasing the stigma of mental illness, I wanted to share the story behind the story of the mental health plotline in my book, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters. Shannon gave me the chance to do that, and it is one of the first times that I am speaking about my own struggles and the healing process of writing my book. I hope you’ll check out the story on Shannon’s site. There is an excerpt of it below.

If you’d like to get my book, it’s now available on Amazon pre-order at amzn.to/2wAhmvG.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ~Rumi

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” ~Leonard Cohen

These two quotes gave me the title for my young adult book, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters. But what the title doesn’t tell you is that there was a long and winding road, often painful and treacherous, that brought me to Emerson. For me, she’s not just a character derived from my imagination. She is the manifestation of a journey that showed me that we are stronger, braver, and more courageous than any of us can ever imagine. To me, she is the very definition of life.

In the five years leading up to when I first put pen to paper to write her story, I had been struggling with the effects of PTSD. On September 5, 2009, one of my neighbors in New York City blew up her gas stove. She had been cooking, oil spilled, and rather than shut off the gas, she just ran out of the building. I was in my apartment on the fourth floor. I had just gotten out of the shower and noticed that the radiator in my kitchen was hot and making a ticking sound. I looked down at the floor around the radiator and saw the tiles heaving up and down. Something was terribly wrong, but I didn’t know what. I grabbed my keys (which now seems completely futile) and went out of my apartment to knock on my neighbor’s door downstairs. They had been doing construction on that apartment and I thought that may be causing the tile and radiator issue. I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

The second I walked out of my apartment, I was consumed by an unending cloud of black smoke. Read more…

 

 

 

 

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In the pause: How the book Why Dinosaurs Matter by Dr. Kenneth Lacovara took me back to my childhood

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My pup, Phineas, who sat next to me the whole time while I read Why Dinoaurs Matter.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a paleontologist and go on digs to find dinosaurs. For my first expedition, I took my mother’s pie plates and dug a giant hole in my backyard. I was about 7 or 8. I was convinced that our hump-shaped rock outcropping that popped about 4 feet or so out of the ground was the headstone for a dinosaur. On my expedition, I proudly found the skeleton of a mouse, but sadly there was no dinosaur. (The pie plates didn’t survive either.) Nevertheless, I was determined to become a scientist, and entered the University of Pennsylvania’s engineering school after wining prizes such as the Rensselaer Medal when I was in high school. My idea was to invent tools and technology that would make my expeditions more efficient.

Sadly, my perfect scenario of becoming a paleontologist and dinosaur hunter didn’t come to pass. (Or at least it hasn’t yet.) I didn’t do well at Penn my first semester. I went to see my physics professor to get some extra help. After a grand total of 2 minutes, he told me I had no mind for science and math generally, and especially not for physics or calculus. Sadly, I believed him. I left his office hours dejected and in tears. I walked back to my dorm with all of my dreams lying in a wake behind me, shattered to pieces. No one had ever told me I couldn’t learn something, and this ugly exchange was a devastating cut to me when I already felt extraordinarily out-of-place at Penn for many other reasons. I changed my school within the University and my major the next day.

(This story does have a happy ending: I took both calculus and physics at a local college years later just to prove to myself that the professor was wrong about me. I got a perfect score on every test. Even though he may be a genius physicist, he was entirely wrong about my mental capacity for physics and calculus.)

Though I now have a wonderful career as a writer, author, and business leader for a technology company, I have never lost my first love for science. I still regularly read scientific journals, publications, and books. One that I have I been looking forward to for months, Why Dinosaurs Matter by Dr. Kenneth Lacovara, has finally been released and it’s even more spectacular than I had hoped it would be. Laced with dry, laugh-out-loud humor and poetic prose that weaves together our history with that of the dinosaurs, this book was the indulgent dive into the world of dinosaurs that I wanted and needed. It took me back to that day in the backyard with the pie plates and the dirt and my determination to discover something magical and mysterious. It ignited in me my child-like wonder about dinosaurs and science. I’ll admit that I hugged the book when it was done. It’s a delicious tale of survival, triumph, adaptation, struggle, and eventual loss that draws me into expertly crafted novels. Except this is real. This is science, however fantastical it may seem.

The book was so good that it prompted me to Google Dr. Lacovara and see what he’s up to these days. I know him mostly from his landmark discovery of Dreadnoughtus in the early 2000s. He’s now the Dean of Rowan University’s School of Earth & Environment and Director of the Jean & Ric Edelman Fossil Park in New Jersey, just outside of Philadelphia. Believe it or not, New Jersey is the place to be in the U.S. when it comes to finding dinosaur remains. I’ve been so close to the dinosaurs my entire life. They’ve been right here beneath my feet.

The older I get, the more I realize just how full-circle life is. Rowan University’s Fossil Park will become a one-of-a-kind center for STEM education, and it will include a museum, laboratories, and learning spaces thanks to Dr. Lacovara and his dedicated team. They have a volunteer program as well as community dig days. Perhaps I’ll be able to realize a piece of that dream of digging around in the dirt after all, this time armed with tools a bit more sturdy than pie plates.

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In the pause: A park full of wieners

Nothing says fun more than a park full of wieners! Phineas and I attended Dachtoberfest—a celebration of dachshunds and the humans who love them—yesterday at Washington Square Park. It was a spectacular time for the long, little doggies. I love that we live in a city where this is an annual event.

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In the pause: Why we must take the time to study science history

If there is any lesson we can take from science history it’s this: the odds were never in our favor. It took an infinite number of circumstances to line up in a very specific way to make our existence possible. Pull out one of those evolutionary Jenga blocks and the very idea of humans comes crashing down. We survived by living in the now and adapting to constant change.

So how does this apply to our lives at this very moment? Somewhere deep within you there may be a dream you’re not pursuing for one simple reason: fear that the odds are against you. Stop thinking about the odds of success or failure, and just forge ahead. You’re already a true miracle; we all are. Don’t squander that gift. Give your very best in this and every moment. Stop trying to understand now and predict tomorrow. We can’t do either. We’re only able to understand life by looking backward.

History is and will always be our best teacher. Use its lessons. The sense in all of it will come later, with time and perspective. Your only job now is to live as well as you can. Stop trying to get it right, and just get it done.

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