Trish Hermanson's Blog: Croutons - Seasoned Bits of Life, page 19

Dumb Things to Say to the Grieving

     Grief is awkward, whether we’re trying to comfort someone in the loss of a job or the loss of a loved one. I’m on the receiving end as we mourn the death of our six-year-old granddaughter Lydia. We’ve received kind expressions of love, plus some well-intentioned fumbles. With gratitude for everyone’s attempts to console, here’s what I’m learning to avoid and what really helps:  
AVOID SAYING:
     * I know how you feel because my dog died recently. (That’s painful, but please don’t m...

Need a Great Escape?

     When I spotted this hibiscus escaping between glass panels of a greenhouse, I wondered whether its plant brain cried out, “Enough of this protected environment. Give me the ecstasy of an authentic life!”     
     And I asked if I’m allowing the sun and the rain and the wind of real life to hit me, or whether I’m sheltering myself in some greenhouse. Whether my blossoms will unfold in a controlled habitat only, or I’ll allow them to be showcased in the world?     Is it time to break...

Numbering My Days

     The late-night phone call stabbed our hearts: “Maggie had a seizure.”    
     How could this happen to our four-year-old granddaughter when her older sister died following a seizure this spring?      
     Maggie and her parents had flown to California to make fresh, good memories. But before they reached the Magic Kingdom, Maggie fell unconscious in her father’s arms.     
     The thought of losing Maggie, my little Magpie, pierced me. She and I sing a kids’ song in which we stoop...

Really? Deadly?

    This sign that I spotted in Washington struck me as overly dramatic: “Falling Can Be Deadly. Please Stay on the Trail.” So if I leave the trail, I’m in danger? And if I stay on the trail, I’m safe? If only life were so simple.     
     Here are signs others shared with me that made me chuckle:     Molly wrote about a large billboard in Utah that announces, “Stop and Eat and Get Gas.” No thank you.
     Pat says an Oklahoma sign warns, “Hitchhikers may be escaping inmates.”    
     T...

How Lies Bite Us

     Ouch! Lies bite. I’m not talking about the ones we tell. I’m talking about the ones we believe.     
     Recently I felt stiffness in a family relationship. Why was she giving me the cold shoulder? Meanwhile, she believed her own lies and thought I didn’t want to be around her. Then, like ticks burrowing deep into our souls, we believed more lies: “She doesn’t value me.” “She doesn’t love me.” “Things will never get better.”     
     Finally the volcano burst. Anger. Tears. Gut-wre...

Am I Plugged In?

     As I sat in the movie theater watching the documentary about Mr. Rogers, an embarrassing memory crossed my mind. One morning at the rec center I’d stepped onto the elliptical, positioned my ear buds, and pushed up the volume on my phone. Only faint music. I cranked up the volume again. Not much more. Then the twenty-something man on the machine next to me pointed to my cord. “Not plugged in.”     
     Oops. I shoved it in, and the music blared into my ears from what had shuffled on...

Turning Your Weakness into Strength

     Trust me, like lilies bursting through murky waters to bloom in the sunshine, strength can blossom out of weakness.     
     Take, for instance, the life of Claude Monet. After cataracts nearly blinded him and he could no longer discern color, the French impressionist painter created some of his best loved works. He yearned to capture his waterlily ponds on canvas, but they appeared gray to him. Therefore, Monet relied on the labels on his paint tubes to know which to spread onto h...

How Tony Survived

     First Tony’s parents divorced, then his mother underwent shock therapy. He begged his mom to set aside part of her alimony money for food, but she burned it up in cigarettes.
     Our friend Tony decided that if he was going to make it, “I had to make it on my own.” So he left home at thirteen and moved in with older guys. That dropped him into a culture of pot and alcohol.
     Yet he persisted in school, attending classes during the day and working at a Chinese restaurant at night...

How Costly Are Immigrants?

     Do immigrants leech off our economy and threaten our culture? That’s what many believe. But look at my grandparents. Three of them were among the homeless, tempest-tost who knocked on Lady Liberty’s door. They arrived dirt poor, yet their descendants increased our gross national product and improved society by becoming educators, agriculturalists, pharmacists, a hospital administrator, interior designers, writers, business entrepreneurs, a therapist, a pianist, a pastor, a computer...

How Are Jefferson and a Native American Alike?

     Question: Besides being pictured on nickels, what do Thomas Jefferson and this unknown Native American have in common?
    Answer: They each believed that all men are created equal with the right to choose their own leaders. And here’s the kicker: Jefferson, who incorporated these beliefs into our Declaration of Independence, adopted them from Native American culture, according to historian Tom Embert Phillips.
     Phillips, a Chickasaw artist and student of American Indians, writ...