Robin Goodfellow's Blog, page 5

Book Review for Pieties by Marc Ruvolo

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Pieties, by Marc Ruvolo, is an LGBT horror novella about the depravity of saints and sinners during a time of a sexual epidemic. Andrew is a gay man who was recently diagnosed with GRID, termed gay-related immune deficiency. After being told there was no way to treat the disease, Andrew decides to move back home where he’s greeted by his neurotic mother and homophobic father. Andrew forces himself to navigate through the failures of his life, from getting a job as a custodian to getting berated by his physician and loved ones for his “lifestyle”. Even so, Andrew notices sinister behaviors coming from his parents, from his mother’s sleepwalking to his father’s sneaking out. All the while, he hears strange noises in the walls of his childhood home.

I loved how every person in Andrew’s family tried to retreat from the real world. Andrew had carried the brunt of it; for him to be dragged through the mud by anyone and everyone because of his sexual orientation is more than enough to get anyone to retreat into their shell. The fact that he self-harmed was a testament to his own shame, and even now, he’s imprisoned by those mental chains. And while neither his father nor his mother had experienced the consequences of the flesh, it forced them into a different torment. His mother thinking Andrew was Ronnie, an old ex, spoke volumes to how loveless their marriage is. And for his father to hurt his own family, if only to satisfy his pleasures, is a testament to how he himself was drowning in sin. It doesn’t matter how righteous you think you are; at the end of the day, we’re ruined by demons, real or imagined.

LGBT populations are more likely to experience violence and have been found to be more likely to use and misuse alcohol and substances. They may also be more likely to be diagnosed with one or more mental illnesses due to the stigma they face (back then, labeling GRID as HIV, of course, didn’t help). With the abuse from conversion camps and the isolation they experience in religious communities, to the increased chances of homelessness, there’s a lot stacked against the population. So honestly, I can say I empathize with Andrew more so than I do Dick or Enid. When Andrew decided to succumb to his father’s vices, it felt more of a happy ending than anything, similar to movies like Midsommar or The Witch.

As such, I would give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Healing Beyond Hurt by Maria Holden

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Healing Beyond the Hurt, by Maria Holden, is a self-help book that helps guide people in dealing with narcissistic relationships and toxic behavior. Holden defines important terms often misused by social media, such as narcissist and trauma bonds, and provides lessons that people can use to establish and maintain boundaries. Holden also clarifies different types of narcissists and behaviors that correlate with those types, thus equipping her readers with the ability to recognize and determine which skills to use. 

One of Holden’s strong points is her ability to take seemingly complicated characterizations down. She gets readers to see that narcissists aren’t necessarily trapped in delusional grandiosity. True, there are definitely narcissists who will vie for the spotlight, but it’s also common that they may not want the attention at all (they may be shy, have low self-esteem, or practice “love bombing”). I valued how Holden delivers examples of language that people can use to navigate their way out of seemingly complicated relationships narcissists will throw them into. 

That being said, while I do agree that identifying triggers is necessary for helping bring awareness to what the abuse is, or has done, to you, the triggers Holden listed aren’t triggers but responses. Your stomach flopping, your heart racing, or your thoughts fumbling happen after you’ve been triggered. Moreover, they can be anything; sounds, scents, thoughts, or even emotions. But I do appreciate her emphasis on mindfulness. 

Additionally, while I agree that forgiveness can be beneficial, they don’t have to forgive. No one can force a person to forgive their abusers. They may not be ready yet. They may never be ready. Regardless, it’s up to the individual. That being said, I wouldn’t want my client to fester in resentment either. 

Overall, I found this book more practical and straight-to-the-point than other books on abuse and narcissism. While there were a few mistakes, I enjoyed it and would give this book a 4 out of 5 stars.

Book Review for Give Into the Feeling by Sarah Zama

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form. 

Give into the Feeling, by Sarah Zama, is a romantic thriller about breaking free from the past to live in the present. Su Xie, now going by Susie, is a dancer at a club in Chicago. She meets a handsome stranger named Blood, who entices her with the prospect of freedom, embodying it sensually and without hesitation. What starts off as admiration becomes an alarm when Susie suddenly finds herself choosing between the familiarity of a broken system and the uncertainty of a new life. 

The story was brief but effective. A lot of Susie’s thought processes mirror a twisted loyalty people feel for their abusers. The fact that she is able to empower herself and free herself from that abuser speaks volumes of how much resentment she has; all she needed was that final push, and she took it wholeheartedly. Additionally, when you’re an immigrant in America, you lack a lot of support. You’re willing to do anything for that support, even if it means being exploited. It takes the form of Susie questioning herself and trying to figure out what she should do without Ma Shu, or even Simon. 

I do wish the story was longer. I’d like to know what happened to Michael, Blood, and Susie, and where Susie goes from here. Moreover, while I feel the concept of spirits gets introduced, I would’ve loved for it to be fleshed out more. For now, I’m going to give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for The Witches of Wildwood Cape May Horror Stories and Other Scary Tales from the Jersey Shore by Mark Wesley Curran

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form. 

The Witches of Wildwood Cape May Horror Stories and Other Scary Tales from the Jersey Shore, by Mark Wesley Curran, is a collection of short horror stories (plus one novella) about supernatural mishaps, evil or otherwise, that exist in New Jersey. Whether it be love gone wrong, or tragedies intertwining with paranormal mayhem, Curran taunts his readers with visages of the dark, all the while gaslighting them as to whether or not they’re real. 

I absolutely loved The Girl in the Attic. The psychological twist as to whether or not the girl-next-door is a vampire reminds me of books where the protagonist questions whether or not the person really is who they say they are. The same could be said for a story like Dante’s Inferno at Castle Dracula; Purgatory isn’t necessarily supposed to be Hell, but when you’re standing in front of a fiery shit show, and you’re supposed loved ones are screaming for help from beyond the grave, it makes you wonder whether redemption is worth the torture. Gus Harvey from his Wildwood Seafood Palace can attest to that. 

Then you have your run-of-the-mill horror classics, like Werewolves of Dennis and Jersey Devil, where the characters are, unfortunately, just asking for it. It’s not all of them, but I’m not shedding a tear for half the characters nearby. Moreover, I liked how conversational the stories are. They are simple old-fashioned scares that you can read around a campfire. While all in good fun, I will admit I was a bit disappointed with the Witches of Wildwood. As a horror fan, I love the blood and gore, though I do wish there were some of those psychological elements in the story that were so pervasive at the beginning of the collection.

Fans of The Moth Diaries would enjoy this collection, as would horror comedy enthusiasts. For now, I would give this collection a 4 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for A Stone’s Throw by Debbie De Louise

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

A Stone’s Throw, by Debbie De Louise, is a romantic mystery about a woman who learns to decipher truth from lies, even after her entire world shatters. After losing her husband Peter to a fatal car accident, newly widowed Alicia Fairmont decides to take a trip to the small town of Cobble Cove in hopes of discovering more about her husband’s estranged family. Weary from her overwhelming life, Alicia finds comfort in the town. Not only is she offered the position of head librarian and a consistent (if slightly annoying) social group, she meets a handsome writer named John McKinney. But what starts off as a slow-paced haven turns into something more gruesome when Alicia finds out someone had tried to burn her house down. Even more alarming is when she realizes that her husband’s death might not have been an accident. 

I loved the relationship between Alicia and John. Far too often, writers force plot driven romances onto other characters, especially after their ball-and-chains are freshly buried. With Alicia and John, it felt natural; they had the same interests and goals, and it seemed they both found comfort in one another’s grief. The town certainly helped things. Life was clearly beating Alicia down, and when Cobble Cove offered her a place to lay her head, she took it. It catered to her needs. 

So you understand why I felt so unsettled. The fact that Alicia was forced to return to the city was a blaring wakeup call which bordered on terrifying. Suddenly, my small town romance turned into a gripping horror, especially with John abruptly thrown into the suspect spotlight. De Louise beautifully delivered the mystery by turning once friendly figures into dangerous shadows lurking beyond the dark. Aside from the detectives and Alicia, I didn’t know who to trust.  

And honestly, even after I finished the book, I don’t believe a word anyone is saying. My friends always say I’m a cesspool of anxiety, so I relate to Alicia in that manner. With that established, I felt that Tina held some sliver of truth. Even with that happy ending, the entire book reminds me of a lullaby sung by a monster. The problem is you don’t know it’s a monster because you’re already sleeping. 

Despite my mind betraying me, I admit that some of the mystery felt a bit forced. Even though details in the story foreshadowed something darker, there was no reason for Alicia to become suspicious yet, especially when it came to Tina. Moreover, I felt that Alicia trusted John a little too quickly; even if she considered him a safe space, I would’ve thought she’d take more time to vet him. It’s the same when she interacted with Pamela. Alicia can’t just take something for face value; it’s just one side of a clearly long and complex family history.

Even so, I enjoyed corner De Louise put me in. It’s a solid mystery that teeters on a gothic tragedy. As such, I would give it a 4 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Whispers of Apple Blossoms by Brett Mitchell Kent

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form. 

Whispers of Apple Blossoms, by Brett Mitchell Kent, is a supernatural, gothic horror that illustrates how one person’s fragility can infect an entire family. Edna is struggling to cope with the loss of her beloved husband, Henry. Despite concerns she is unable to take care of herself, Edna steadfastly refuses help and clings to a plant that Henry had given her when he proposed. Meanwhile, Noor decides to go to her Aunt Edna after her mother’s disappearance, not understanding the danger she’s walking into or the darkness desperate to imprison her. 

The mandrake reminds me of the Vietnamese Ngai, a plant that, when given offerings, will do your bidding. Many “evil” practitioners in Vietnam use Ngai to manipulate people, steal money, and enslave others. The problem is that you need to continue to feed the Ngai, and if you don’t, you could wind up its next meal. Of course, this is an oversimplified version of how Ngai works, but it doesn’t stop my parents from telling their horror stories (apparently, there are a lot of Ngai practitioners in the nail salon world). Even so, from what I can understand in Western magic, the mandrake was a popular herb that had many uses in sympathetic magic. That the mandrake had a deep longing for love as other humans do speaks volumes of its potency. It also had that twisted child-mother bond with Edna, and it desired her, even if it wasn’t human.

Speaking of child-mother bonds, I liked how Kent explored the relationship between Edna and her mother, and again with Edna and her daughter. It seemed that, even though Edna might not mean to, she passed down her resentments towards her mother and then to Betty Lou. She could’ve had her real daughter, but unfortunately, as mentioned above, Edna chose a substitute and a poor one at that. It was the reason why Betty Lou disappeared in the first place. Without meaning to, the mandrake became her golden child, and even before it killed, there were times she prioritized its safety and well-being over Betty Lou’s. Her relationship with the mandrake was a poor imitation, nothing at all like the relationship Noor had with her mother. Then again, if Betty Lou had tried to develop that relationship, she would’ve ended up a victim as well. It seems that for all the support mothers are supposed to give their daughters, Edna was severely lacking. 

I appreciate Kent incorporating the language of flowers into the book. Some of them I know, others I don’t, but I liked how Edna fell for their symbolism. She’s so ingrained with the past that it was easy to deceive her using something as simple as a flower. It was Henry’s love language to her, and it corrupted that.

Because of this, I would like to give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Whispers and Lines by Aditya Kunapareddy

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Whispers and Lines, by Aditya Kunapareddy, is a psychological drama about being comfortable with yourself and finding love inwardly. The book is separated into 2 parts. The first, Unvoiced, is about an aging ventriloquist who becomes codependent on the many women in his life and slowly, but painfully, learns how to love himself. Throughout this process watches a puppet in the background that acts as a conduit for the heartbreak that his master experiences. The second part, Boundaries, introduces a young clinician who, in pursuing the best treatment for his client, becomes vulnerable and must understand that he cannot support himself and his ego at the same time.

The stories were wonderful and spoke volumes about how subtle codependency can be. You wander in the dark, trying to figure out who you can trust with your heart, a heart that you yourself beat up and neglect. If you treat your own heart like that, it’s unrealistic to think that others will give you a haven. For people who struggle with codependency, fields like social work, counseling, teaching, caregiving, or anything that has you care about people is very tempting. It’s easy to indulge in those habits because, in our society, it’s encouraged that we sell our bodies for the “greater good.” I see this in myself, and unfortunately, I see it in Anand, the unfortunate target of that lesson from Boundaries. It felt like I was seeing myself when I was younger and more inexperienced, trying to save every person who fell on my doorstep. Anand treated Ishani like a fragile thing, and unfortunately, I repeated the same habits with my own clients. I’d like to say I’ve gotten better. My supervisor says so at least. 

Moreover, in Unvoiced, Charlie reminds me of the portrait from The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. In this case, both are representations of the creator’s mental state. However, I loved Charlie’s ending and how, although he was separated from his creator, he still represented something healthy for Kabir. Will there be seemingly impossible obstacles sometimes? Yes. Will there be times when Kabir may experience crushing loneliness? Absolutely. But it’s okay. 

I will admit that there were times when the tone felt a bit too flowery to me. Repetitive phrases didn’t necessarily help me keep grounded either. Still, the themes explored in the book and the development of the characters helped shape the stories into enjoyable narratives. Because of this, I would give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Wayward Soul by L.D Greenwood

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Wayward Soul, by L.D. Greenwood, is a paranormal romance about finding yourself and remembering your loved ones in the face of tragedy. After finding out her little sister, Jana, had traded her soul to a siekawa named Drekvic, Ellie Alwood must journey to the world of the dead to free her soul. Along the way, she meets a soul collector named Chester who agrees to help her after Fate asks (orders) him to. Soon, Ellie finds herself braving the world of the dead and realizes that there’s more to Jana, and to herself, than she thought. 

I absolutely adored how Greenwood centers her characters around family. Immediately, Ellie and Drekvic are alike in their obsessions. Although they find more comfort in the powers they already have, they’re still attached to their old lives. The past cradles them. No matter what they may say, they’ll stop at nothing to ensure the safety of their loved ones and to know that they’re happy, even if it’s not with them. Chester is also a good example of this; his backstory was heartbreaking, but it’s satisfying to know that not all the dead are lost. That compassion can extend into the afterlife is reassuring, regardless of how many lies we tell ourselves. I was relieved when Greenwood didn’t force a romance between Ellie and Chester. For Ellie to continue thinking about the memory of Chester’s family, as well as his wife, speaks volumes to her maturity. She has a lot of kindness for someone who is clearly still grieving, which many romance protagonists lack.

I appreciate the concept of Fate being this mischievous goddess character. Practitioners, especially the ones I know, like to think of women as these no-nonsense guides who will help anyone who asks. Nope. No. Even if her intentions are pure, Fate likes screwing people around. Even when she helps Ellie she screws with her. What happened at the end is, I believe, Fate is still screwing with Ellie because she likes it too much. Sure, she could go back to her partner, but she is in a perpetual state of boredom, and as such, likes to make Ellie’s life so very difficult.

There were times when I felt Ellie’s character didn’t match the story’s atmosphere. True, Ellie is navigating a completely different world, but in certain situations, she feels more like a teenager rather than an adult. I also wish there was more romantic tension between Ellie and Chester; Drekvic was laying it on thick, and unfortunately, it appeared as a creepy one-sided attraction more than anything. He’s like the overly dramatic emo kid constantly badgering you to pay attention to him. It’s cute but annoying. 

Overall, this was a solid story. I would’ve loved to see more romance from the characters. But the world-building was good, and the relationships, intimate or not, provided a great foundation for a cozy paranormal thriller. As such, I would give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for A Party of One by J. Saburra

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form. 

Party of One, by J. Saburra, is a poetry compilation about learning how to interact with yourself without going insane. The collection dives into the poet’s thoughts of how she feels she is portraying herself, versus how others may see her. She discusses the contradiction of longing for isolation and the desperation of needing someone. Poems like Exquisitely and The Repeater take famous coping skills like mindfulness and use them to detail how intrusive the world can be, and despite all it has to offer, ask the reader whether or not they truly want to be a part of it. 

As you may or may not know, I have clients who are diagnosed with some very stigmatizing mental illnesses. When they were first diagnosed, no one knew what was going on, and of course, they, as well as their loved ones, were scared. We encourage people to be involved with their communities. But some of those communities don’t want those individuals to return, no matter how unfair, or even cruel, it is. And of course, when you go through an experience like that, it’s natural you’d want to shut the world out. But then there are other spaces you carve for yourself in different areas of life, and you prefer that small, but cozy home versus the overwhelming noise that is the outside world. Whether you want to believe it or not, that’s okay. 

Still, one of the poems that I truly enjoyed was Keep it between us. A lot of people feel that they’d rather hide themselves than expose their vulnerabilities to others, especially when it comes to their mental health and/or how they identify. Again, because strangers can be cruel, especially those online, you don’t know how they’ll respond to anything outside their comforts. We all like to think that we’re saints, but at the end of the day, we’re just as ugly as we are beautiful. 

Just like Saburra’s other collections, I enjoyed this book. While I would’ve preferred more humor so that the reader could lie to themselves a bit more, just for comfort’s sake, I would give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for The Sins on Their Bones by Laura R. Samoan

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

The Sins on Their Bones, by Laura R. Samoan, is a dark fantasy romance about the differences between love and obsession. After his ex-husband, Alexey Balakin, betrays and ousts him for the throne of Novo-Svitsevo, former Tzar Dimitri Alexeyev now spends his days drinking and drowning in his regrets. To save Novo-Svitsevo from the corrupt ruler, Dimitri’s spymaster, Vasily Sokolov, hatches a plan that will bring himself closer to Alexey’s court, if only to try and find a way to destroy the man before he destroys Dimitri and the rest of the country. After spending more time hating himself for putting Vasily in danger, Dimitri decides to follow Vasily’s plan to remove Alexey once and for all, despite his heart breaking at the seams.  

I loved the conflicts that Alexey and Dimitri go through. They show the painful truth that even though you may love each other and want to be together, it’s not enough. Alexey has a lot of ambition that overpowers his fondness for Dimitri. True, he’ll hold room for Dimitri in his heart, but he still replaced him with Ivan. He still forced his will onto Dimitri and perverted his own soul for the sake of power. Meanwhile, Dimitri has given Alexey numerous chances and was prepared to submit until life happened before suddenly finding himself on the throne. Anyone can see how much they love each other, but at the end of the day, Alexey cannot get out of his own way, and that’s why he lost Dimitri in the end. True, Vasily might not be the dark, brooding love interest we want him to end up with, but he’s miles better than Alexey. That said, I wished Samoan could make the relationship between these two more intriguing. When it came to Vasily and Alexey, to me, it felt more like puppy dog love rather than genuine, mature affection. It was almost like Dimitri settled, but that’s just me. 

The Holy Science Alexey wholeheartedly gives himself to reminds me of Christian nationalism, and not in a good way. Many churches in the South had been swept up by proclamations of having their own country and kicking out those who disagreed with them; a theocracy of sorts. The fact that Alexey thinks he’s talking to God painfully reflects the hypocrisy the government is going through now. True, it might be a pseudo-fantastical world filled with (enviably) easy access to angels and demons. However, the sentiment is still the same. 

Despite all the wonderful, political and religious mayhem these characters are going through, the world around them seems strangely empty. To me, this book is a sequel rather than a stand-alone; I would’ve liked to know more about Alexey and Dimitri’s relationship before Alexey became lost in power. I’d like to know what Vasily saw in Dimitri before all this happened, and not just see small snippets here and there. And while the relationship between Dimitri and Vasily was sweet, I can’t help but feel like it was a bit forced. I hate to say it, but I think that these two need to suffer a bit more before finally going through with the relationship. 

This is a beautiful, horrific romance that would’ve blown my mind away had the world and relationships been more fleshed out. As such, I’m giving this book a 4 out of 5 stars.