Robin Goodfellow's Blog, page 17

Dealing with Burn Out

Introduction

We’ve all felt it. Whether it be from our jobs, our relationships, or even our  passions, burn out has this annoying way of creeping up on us. We overwork ourselves go the point where we just don’t want to do anything anymore. We don’t even want to deal with whatever is causing us to feel so empty; even the sight of the cause makes us feel a little sick.

But while we hear the term get thrown around, what is burn out?

According to Help Guide, burn out is a state of psychological, emotional, and physical exhaustion from being too stressed for too long. Signs of burn out include:

Being resentful towards your work/loved onesFeelings of cynicism, helplessness, and hopelessnessIncreased vulnerability to diseaseLoss of motivationIncreased detachment

We know they burn out is bad. After all, millions of people suffer through it everyday. So the question is: how do we deal with burnout?

 

1. Take a Break

Sometimes the best way to deal with burn out is to stop working. This can involve asking your boss for a little break or a personal day off. And when you do, don’t have anything that reminds you of work; in fact, if you can, go somewhere where you’re not tempted to go back. This can help you take your mind off things and relax, if only for a little while.

 

2. Make Things More Interesting

Finding ways to make work or personal life more interesting is a good way to lessen the effects of burn out. For instance, if your job is causing you the most stress, try to change your routine at work. Ask your employer for other responsibilities you feel are more fulfilling or challenging. Greet coworkers, or bring in a favorite dish for lunch.

If the cause of your burn out is at home or school, see if you can implement new strategies to make home life more enjoyable. Come up with new games for you and your family and friends, or relax before going to sleep. Try seeing things in a new light, one that encourages positive thinking and action. Find new hobbies to explore, or new things to learn. It can give you something to look forward to everyday.

 

3. Spend Quality Time with Someone

Believe it or not, just talking with someone about the stresses of everyday can alleviate the effects of burn out. Connecting with others meaningfully can give us an opportunity to vent out our frustrations or concerns at work or home. Remember that these people are there for you, just as you are for them.

 

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Oftentimes, when we’re burnt out, it means we haven’t been taking care of ourselves as much as we should. When we consistently place other people and our responsibilities over our own needs, it devalues us as individuals. It leaves us with a heaviness that we can alleviate by putting our own needs first. This can mean relaxing when we should, sleeping when we should, and improving our own hygiene. Giving yourself time to heal and to make sure that you’re doing okay is essential for giving you back some of your passions.

If you’re having trouble prioritizing self-care, you could start by scheduling what you can and can’t do. Plan to take multiple breaks ahead so you can give yourself enough time to de-stress, as well as time to handle your responsibilities.

 

Conclusion

Burn out is caused by prolonged stress we place on ourselves, whether that be at work, at home, at school, or anywhere else. It dehumanizes us to the point where we’re feeling lost, hopeless, even depressed. However, taking that much needed break, making things more entertaining, spending time with loved ones and making our own health a priority can help alleviate the effects of burn out, even if it’s only a little. At the very least, it makes burn out more manageable, and hopefully, give us a chance to recover.

 

Image by Counseling from pixabay.com.

Depression

Introduction

Depression affects millions of people everyday. It affects your way of living, from your motivations to your emotions to even your activities. And while people talk about fighting against depression and supporting those with depression, not many actually know how to do that. As such, below is a brief summary on what depression is, the signs and symptoms, and how to care for those who have it.

 

What is Depression?

Depression is a mood disorder that is often described as persistent sadness for longer than two weeks. There are many types of depression, some of which include:

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal affective disorder occurs during the winter months, and generally lessens or disappears during spring and summer.


Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression occurs after pregnancy. This is characterized by mild depression and anxiety after the baby is born, and thus may affect a mother’s ability to care for her children. It’s also called “baby blues.”


Persistent Depressive Disorder

Persistent depressive disorder is depression that lasts for approximately two years. The disorder usually includes major depressive episodes, followed by milder episodes and symptoms.


Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is characterized as a period in which a person goes from a major depressive episode to a period of extreme happiness, or mania.

 

 

Signs and Symptoms

Oftentimes, when a person is depressed, you might not know it. However, there are signs when a person is depressed. This includes:

Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and despair
Changes in appetite
Changes in sleeping pattern (sleeping too much or not enough)
Loss of interest in activities and motivation
Unexplained aches and pains
Difficulties thinking and concentrating

The signs of depression differ depending on the age, simply because each way of thinking is different in each age group. For instance, when teens and adolescents are depressed, signs and symptoms include:

Irritability
Feelings of worthlessness
Poor academic performance
Refusing to go to school
Changes in appetite
Self-harm

Meanwhile, for older adults, they tend to have different viewpoints. For instance, in adults, symptoms of depression include:

Fatigue
Loss of interest
Refusal to go outside
Impairment of social activities, regardless of medical conditions
Suicidal thoughts, especially in men

 

The Causes of Depression

It’s difficult to pinpoint one cause of depression. People who have a family history of depression also have a higher risk. However, the environment may also play a role. Victims of abuse and violence are at a higher risk for depression, as are victims of natural disasters. People who are living in certain conditions, such as impoverished or areas filled with racism and prejudice are also at risk.  People who have chronic illnesses, such as heart disease, Parkinson’s, and Alzheimer’s/dementia, can also suffer from depression.

However, it’s important to remember that depression can happen to anyone, regardless of age, sex, or gender.

 

Supporting Your Loved Ones

Treating depression oftentimes include a mixture of therapy and medication. And while it can’t be outright cured, it can be bearable so that the individual can start enjoying their life again.

Still, when your loved one has depression, it can be difficult to understand. Even so, it’s important to keep your loved one company and to let them know that they aren’t alone. One of the best things you can do is encourage them to be treated for depression. This can include urging them to go see a mental health professional, or setting up appointments and going with them to these appointments. You can also help them by encouraging them to stay healthy, even in the face of worsening symptoms. Be willing to give positive statements, and listen whenever necessary. Other things you can do include educating yourself on depression, and helping them through important life decisions, should they ask you for aid.

 

Conclusion

Depression is a chronic illness that affects a person’s way of life. Depression weighs a person down, and can force them to give up what they may have loved before. Even so, having the proper treatment and support system can be necessary to help those who are depressed. But most importantly, encouraging yourself and your loved ones to find help, to get educated, and to find reasons to move forward with your life will help you cope with your depression. Going to see mental health professionals and relying on support systems can also help you or a loved one cope with depression.

 

Special Note

If you or your loved one is in danger of suicide, call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-TALK to talk with a counselor.

 

Image by Free-Photos from pixabay.com

Book Review for The Demon of Decay by Alex C. Gates

The Demon of Decay, by Alex C. Gates, is a religious horror about how easy it can be to corrupt someone just from their deepest desires.

Joseph “Joe” Daniels is struggling to impregnate his wife, Victoria. He’s sitting in a doctor’s office getting tested, when he meets his former pastor, a man who murdered his daughter’s ex-boyfriend. The encounter spurs him to see his Aunt and Uncle, both of whom need help. After convincing Victoria to go see them, the two head to their house. However, the moment he steps foot in their home, he’s horrified by how much things have changed. His beloved Aunt is dying, as is his town. As time passes, he notices a decadence eating away at the residents, a decadence that eventually catches up to he and Victoria. In this dark story, Gates delivers a simple message about what happens when humans decide to chain themselves to their lusts, all the while ignoring their crumbling morality.

I loved Victoria and Joseph. Victoria took a traditionally masculine role in order to support their growing family, which, according to Joseph, left him with nothing. It shows just how deeply embedded his expectations are. He felt useless. At the very least, he wanted to give Victoria what she wanted, so much so he almost killed for it. But more than that, he would do whatever it took to regain some amount of control in their control. And it was at that moment that the Demon of Decay was able to take over. After all, it turned an entire town upside down, dragging its residents to hell, so what was one more person? His problems is a struggle that many men could relate to. So much value has been placed on fertility in order to cement a man’s masculinity, and to have someone or something take that away is frightening. However, that doesn’t necessarily excuse him from his actions, no matter how empathetic, or even pathetic, he tries to make himself out to be.

This in turn, led not just Joseph, but also an entire town, to turn against their loved ones and themselves. Family units are degraded, and societal conventions are tossed aside, all for the sake of their own wants. Right and wrong are reversed, all in the guise of a medication that promises to cure everyone of their diseases, physical or psychological. This concept references the Bible, and how the Devil will disguise himself as an angel of light, misleading and destroying others who are naive enough to be caught up in it. This also extends to drugs and medicine, and how simple it could be to rely on one drug, so much so you’d do anything to get it. It reflects America’s struggles with the opiod crisis, or at the very least, our dependence on medicines for everything, even something as natural as pain. In other words, we rely too much on miracle cures, hoping for something that’s too good to be true. Because no matter what reality says, if someone says they can fix our problems, at the very least, we’ll want to believe them.

Overall, I would give this book a rating of a 4.5 out of 5.0 stars. The characters were all relatable, alongside their struggles. What’s more, the demon was very convincing, so much so I can’t help but wonder what I would do in their position. However, Gates also reminds us that there is no easy way out, whether it be some medicine, or promise, or even a misguided faith. As such, I would recommend this book to fans of The Devil in Black Creek by D.R Bartlette and Clemenceau’s Daughter by Rocky Porch Moore.

Book Review for A Wolf Like Me by A.S Fitz

A Wolf Like Me, by A.S Fitz, is a supernatural thriller about a young man who is thrust into a world filled with uncertainty, chaos, and horror.

Thomas Spell, now Benjamin Ramsley, is a werewolf clumsily ambling his way through life. He works as a private pet detective, as well as a test subject, in the hopes that he could be turned back human. One night, after a series of mishaps, he finds himself as the prime suspect in a grizzly murder investigation. What’s more, a mysterious shadow begins to attack him, seemingly searching for something that belongs to it. As Thomas tries to outwit his enemies, he unwittingly drags his friends into it, and must do everything he can to protect them from dying. In this dark, fast-paced adventure, a man must navigate a cruel world entrenched in blood and madness, all the while maintaining his bittersweet sense of humor.

I had to admit, I found it sickeningly hilarious when I read about Thomas’s struggles. It was like the entire universe had something against him. First, he gets turned into a werewolf after falling in love with a girl in Paris. Then he’s stuck in a dead end job he hates, as well as chasing leads in the hopes that he might be able to turn back human. Then, after a night of chaos, he’s just become the prime suspect for a massacre. It’s a wonder why he hasn’t broken down already. Still, I can’t help but admire him. He stood his ground and fought for those he cared for. He trusted people wholeheartedly, and does feel genuine remorse when he gets them caught up in his mess. He’s even a bit romantic, despite the hard-ass demeanor he adopts. And while his past certainly does weigh him down, his reactions to said situations make him all the more thrilling to watch.

Throughout the book, Fitz draws a parallel between monsters and humans. More often than not, werewolves also have a hard time controlling their instincts, and they often succumb to their “passionate” side without any regard for anyone else. Ironically, the characters in this book are more werewolf-like than the protagonist is. The Shadow wanted its possession back. Penelope wanted to find a cure for Thomas, not just to help him, but also out of curiosity. Eric wanted to be rich and famous, and Justin wanted to explore his passions. They’re simple, human desires that allowed them to be so interesting to read, at least until they nearly consumed their characters. It isn’t a good part of humanity; in fact, there are millions of cases where our desires have ravaged us, eaten us alive until we either shut it down permanently or try to achieve said desire, often with destructive results.

However, by the end of it, it was Thomas who managed to quell all of it, who managed to accept his own wants and desires. But while he might seem like a selfish asshole, he does try to give people what they want, despite it being against his better judgement. He allows Penelope and Eric to use him as a lab rat, and he unwittingly tries doing what Celeste wants. Even so, he still manages to get back something of his; his humanity.

There were some things that the book could improve upon. The romance between Penelope and Thomas was quick, so much so I wasn’t sure if it was properly developed. Thomas’s own development, by the end of the book, was a bit iffy, with the introduction to King Arthur’s legend was more than a little weird. Still, the story has a lot of merits. From exploring humanity’s baser instincts, to the interesting character dynamics; I had a lot of fun reading this book. As such, I would give this book a 4.0 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to those who love morbid adventures, thrillers, and mysteries.

Book Review for Soulful Reflections by Dr. Phillip Morphew

Soulful Reflections, by Dr. Phillip Morphew, is a collection of poetry that details the joys and sorrows of being human, as well as the love humans are capable of.

The collection is separated into 6 parts. The first part, Seeking, reminds readers that people are seeking genuine human connections, and not just superficial ones we make through a screen. The second part, Surrender, is about looking outwards and seeing the beauty of the world. The third part, Love, portrays humans as creatures of love, simply because it is in our nature. The fourth part, Lusciousness, illustrates the importance of loving both yourself and the people around you. The fifth part, Liberty, talks about freeing ourselves from the normal trappings of life. The final part, Death, deals with our beliefs in the afterlife, as well as the consequences of not living our lives to the very fullest. Morphew, as his name may suggest, introduces a dreamlike quality in regards to love, and encourages the reader to explore the deeper facets of humanity.

While some of these themes tend to be repetitive, other poems offered a completely different perspective. For example, in the poem, Civilization Lost, Morphew talks about people aimless moving on with their lives, never caring for one another, and only seeking other people out when we desperately need something. In a sense, we’re living corpses. And as corpses, we don’t have the capacity to love, whether it be ourselves or anyone else. If we allow ourselves to become this, we’re essentially isolating ourselves from everything that makes us human. I’ve heard the phrase before, but I didn’t think about what it truly meant until now. It ties back to the other poems Morphew revealed about love, that until we can fully understand it, there really is nothing separating us from the dead.

The collection was refreshing. It reminds the reader of what it truly means to be human. It’s through this that we can understand other concepts, such as freedom and death, in their entirety. They don’t need to be feared, or even desired; through love, we can just accept them as they are. As such, I would give this collection a rating of a 4.4 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to those who enjoy poetry and romance in general.

Book Review for Don’t Look Away by William Dalphin

Don’t Look Away, by William Dalphin, is a horror anthology filled with twisted endings and grotesque plots that strips away the facade of the mundane.

Don’t Look Away consists of 35 frightening tales, all of which are accompanied with creepy illustrations by Emily Holt. From suspenseful tales such as She Found Her Way Into My Home, to more mysterious gothic stories, like The Crawling House on Black Pond Road, many of the stories bring a macabre light to an otherwise boring reality. The illustrations add a layer of tension into each story; though some of the images are genuinely horrifying, others help build up the world presented in sac of the stories. While they can be repetitive at times, even predictable, Dalphin still manages to weave succinct, interesting stories that will capture and hold a reader’s attention, all the while gently nudging them into the next story.

One story that stood out in this collection was Hunger. It was about a psychiatrist who encounters a grotesque patient, clutching a trash bag to her chest. When the doctor asked what was in the bag, the patient merely answered that they were leftovers. I’m currently a mental health advocate, so my heart went out for her. I even felt disgusted towards the psychiatrist, who, in his mind, wanted to get the woman out as quickly as possible. However, it wasn’t until his colleague came in and clarified the situation did I realize what’d actually happened. Another favorite of mine, Dinner by Swamp Light, reminded me of the Southern Goth settings used in such as Resident Evil 7.

I did wish the stories in the collection would be more fleshed out. I felt like there were too many stories in the collection, and while the twists were surprising, there was little to no substance with the characters, or even the plot. However, whenever the story ended, it’d be wrapped up nicely with a cautionary warning, which, in all honesty, brought me some relief. And though the collection isn’t perfect, nevertheless, it’s entertaining. As such, I would give this book a 3.9 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to fans of They Feed by Jason Parent and the American Horror Story anthology.

Book Review for Angel Vomit by Terry Smith

Angel Vomit: A love story, by Terry Smith, is a collection of poetry dedicated to exploring the beautiful cruelties of love.

The collection details a man’s journey from first falling in love to finally letting go. Each poem is succinct, and illustrates the possessiveness love forces an individual to go through. From the initial stages of infatuation, to the hardships of letting go, Smith illustrates just how much of a journey love can take someone. It’s both beautiful and destructive, and with poems such as For the love of chaos and A Beautiful Way on a Southern Road, the book is simple and elegant in its depiction.

There was one particular poem that I enjoyed, and that was Love is lost at the end. Personally, the poem reminds me of a couple who has fallen out of love, as though it were a shadow of its former self. It reminded me of the song, Brothers on a Hotel Bed, by Death Cab for a Cute, with the same melancholy underlying it. For the love of Chaos and Little Keepsakes were also some of my personal favorites, portraying both the evanescent and enduring qualities love tends to contrast to.

There were poems I felt could’ve used a little work, such as Dancing in a Dandelion Daydream. There were also poems in the collection that were more enjoyable than the titular poem, Angel Vomit. Even so, Smith depicts the intricacies of love in a way that’s bittersweet and romantic. The old adage, “Love and insanity are two sides of the same coin,” lends credence to this. As such, I would give this back a rating of 4.0 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to those who enjoy books such as The Heart’s Lullaby by Natalie Ducey.

Review for Serenity Grove by Jesika Westbrook

Serenity Grove, by Jesika Westbrook, is a dark, Gothic novella about reclaiming control over your own life, even if it means destroying yourself.

Alistair is a psychiatrist who works at Serenity Grove, an asylum for the mentally ill. He meets a patient named Lillian, who was sexually abused by her father. As time passed, and she continues to deteriorate under the care of another doctor, Alistair decides to try and treat her. However, because of the strain of the treatments, Lillian has all but become a shadow of her former self. Despite Alistair’s best intentions, she finally dies, leaving the doctor alone and heartbroken.Westbrook crafts a tale about a young woman and her doctor, both of whom are chained down by their pride, society, and ultimately, their minds.

I loved reading about Lillian. I recently started volunteering at a rape crisis center, and hers is a common situation. She was assaulted by the person she was supposed to trust the most, and when she became too burdensome, she was sent away, where other men began imposing their own wills on her. Even Alistair did this to her, even though he believed it was for the greater good. She couldn’t take it anymore. She was treated as an object for the majority of her life, and she was so dehumanized that in the end, she decided to end it. Honestly, if I were in her situation, I would’ve done the same thing. After all, what else can you do when you literally have nothing left, when you have no loved ones to comfort you, no one to remember you?

As for Alistair, his infatuation with Lillian reminded me of a man named Carl Tanzier. He worked in a hospital at Key West, Florida, where he fell in love with a woman named Maria. He would shower her with gifts, and did everything in his power to treat her tuberculosis. Unfortunately, she wound up dying. He took her body and buried her in a mausoleum. Still, his obsession wouldn’t fade, so much so that he took her body out of her grave and preserved it, replacing rotting skin with silk, her eroding eyes with glass. And while Alistair’s obsession with Lillian wasn’t as bad, it was creepy nonetheless.

One of my favorite things about this book was how it gives insight into mental health treatment back then. Many hospitals, especially the Bethlehem Royal Hospital (Bedlam), paraded patients around where the public could mock them. They were tortured, maimed, lobotomized; in fact, some of the most infamous examples include the Frederico Mora Hospital in Guatemala and the Republican Siauliai Hospital. Many patients were abused by their caregivers, and even today, there’s ongoing abuse in mental health institutions.

Overall, I would give this book a rating of a 4.3 out of 5.0 stars. The characters were interesting to read, and the narrative fits the darker, more hopeless setting of the story. It’s a short, thrilling read for anyone who’s curious about the history of mental health, as well as those who enjoy twisted, tragic romances.

Review for The Burden of Trust by Tabitha Young

The Burden of Trust, by Tabitha Young, is a contemporary romance about moving on from tragedy, as well as caring for the people you love.

Katherine “Kate” Woods decides to attend a party in New York for her best friend, Alexa. From there, she meets Chris Cody, a celebrity who is more than a little alienated from society. After a few choice words and an awkward first meeting, Chris decides to follow Kate to her home in Florida, where he hopes to change himself for the better. As time passes, and the two start to open up to each other, they realize that sometimes, they need someone to lean on when they’re at their most vulnerable. Young writes a touching story about grief and forgiveness, as two different people slowly but surely fall in love with each other.

I loved reading about Kate and Riley. Their relationship laid the foundation for a lot of Kate’s character, and played a role in Kate’s development throughout the story. Despite her religious upbringing, Riley still pursued Kate, and though she did meet a horrific end, it’s clear they loved each other to the very end. What’s more, I liked how Chris stayed by Kate’s side, only caring about her well-being and nothing else. He’s there every step of the way, never taking advantage of her even though he could. And when he fights for Kate’s innocence, he immediately became my second favorite character in the book, right before Riley. I do wish that Chris’s conflicts were more fleshed out, and at times, the supporting characters seemed a little too focused on Kate and Chris’s relationship, rather than Kate’s own emotions. Nevertheless, it was interesting to read.

The book was particularly clear about how entitlement plays in perceived romantic relationships. I’ve seen it over and over again in real life, and the way Becky reacted to both Kate and Chris, it cemented that. She’s cared for Kate, was there with her when Riley died, and though she’s very protective of her, that protectiveness could easily overlap with possessiveness. The same could be said of Barbara Jean and her attempting to drag Kate’s name through the mud, despite the fact she’s not even dating Chris. Though scenes with these characters were awkward at times, they gave the book a clear sense of morality.

Overall, the book was enjoyable. The plot was easy to follow, and though the characters were predictable, they were nonetheless relatable. The relationships between Chris and Kate, as well as Kate and her dead wife, were easy to understand. Young accurately portrays the struggles people have, whether it be dealing with grief or imperfections or even regret. As such, I would give this book a 3.6 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to those who enjoy romance, specifically contemporary, sweet, and small town romance.

Akairya by Abrianna Leaming

Akairya, by Abrianna Leaming, is a young adult fantasy about discovering your power to protect the people you care about.

Akairya, or Kairi, is an orphaned half-elf living in poverty. One day, her town is attacked by a Shadow dragon. She manages to flee, and after being attacked again, she stumbled across a dragon egg. When she cares for it, the egg hatches, and from it, a young dragon who claims Kairi is its dragon rider. As she continues to wander the wilderness, she meets Killian, as well as his soldiers, who then brings her to High King Elric. She learns more about her mysterious heritage, and starts to understand her calling, not only as a dragon rider, but also as a savior to the Earth. Leaming crafts an adventurous world full of fantasy, action, and romance, where the characters must fight for their freedom.

When I first read about Akairya, I thought she seemed a bit overpowered. She goes from nothing to a mythical warrior who’s supposed to save the world from this malevolent entity, the Shadow. I didn’t see much conflict in her, and when Killian and even High King Elric are introduced, her powers was even more emphasized. It was as if everyone loved her for no apparent reason, even with Killian’s initial distrust. Still, there was one character that caught my attention, and that was Thoran. He’s an anti-villain torn between his friends and his loyalty towards his father. There were sharp contrasts to his character that made me want to read more about him than the actual heroine. Even the Shadow, who’s supposed to be this all encompassing evil, seemed more interesting than the heroes themselves.

Despite this, the setting and the concepts made up for the characters. Leaming paints this wondrous world that Akairya inhabits. The Shadow in and of itself sounds absolutely terrifying, and the way Leaming fleshes out the destruction the Shadow causes cements the fact that Akairya does need to stop this thing, and gives the reader a reason to root for her. When Leaming describes these particular scenes, I even cried a little. In other words, it takes that classic fantasy feel and gives the reader a chance to immerse in it. It was something I loved thoroughly.

The story was interesting. While the characters could’ve been more likeable, the world and the Shadow more than made up for it. The story was fast-paced, and the plot is simple, which, in and of itself, is wonderful. As such, I would give this book a 3.7 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to fans of the Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling and Skyrim.