Robin Goodfellow's Blog, page 12

Book Review for Turbulence in Small Spaces

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Turbulence in Small Spaces, by Adele Evershed, is a poetry chapbook about witnessing the beauty, the horrors, and the bittersweet endings that life has to offer. Whether it be by learning how to cope with grief, regret, or anything in between, Evershed showcases the brilliance that can come from adversity. Poems such as Passive: Aggressive and Lines illustrate the poet’s struggles, alongside the courage she had to overcome them, to continue her life no matter how hard it may seem.

I enjoyed the casual recollective tone these poems seemed to carry. It reminds me of a grandmother gathering her granddaughters and detailing all the strife she’d faced from her life, passing down lessons from long ago. A bit standoffish, but nonetheless passionate about all her experiences. I liked how the poet understood how to not care about how adulthood treated her, how she was able to find comfort in childhood memories and fond wishes. Despite the temptation to end things, she continues to live on, and sometimes it works with her, sometimes it doesn’t. Regardless, she carries on, and it’s a strength I envy. Not many people have that kind of resilience; more than once do people of all ages find themselves lost in what could’ve been. So for someone to be able to reflect back on their life and go, “Yeah, I did alright” is a testament to their character.

Because of this, I would give this collection a 5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for I Will Paint the Night by Sam Muller

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

I Will Paint the Night, by Sam Muller, is a young adult fantasy about a woman who, after being framed for the murder of her stepmother, must brave her family’s history in order to discover the pain they’ve inflicted upon a nation, as well as learning how to undo it. The story is separated into three parts: Book One introduces Allii, the princess of Sallonia, and how she comes to learn about her past and the hypocrisies associated with it. Book Two describes the harsh journey she undergoes to find safety, as she learns more about the relationship between Sallonia and the Muffic, an earthbound populace who specializes in earth-bound spirituality and “magic”. Book Three details Allii coming to grips with her parents’ mistakes, as well as the injustices that her court has done, not only to the Muffics, but to Sallonia’s own citizens as well. 

I enjoyed Allii’s character development. I loved how she was forced to learn about the injustices that the Sallonians, Muffics, and Halflings have to go through. It was an interesting twist as well, to see how the beloved princess was a Halfling, and how it impacted her status at court. Similar to other high fantasy shows (i.e Game of Thrones), I liked how everyone tried using her status, her race, and even her emotions, to try and manipulate her. They didn’t do a good job of it, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. I also liked her relationship with Bellizza; she loves her fully, and she was committed to getting justice for her, even if it meant shattering the world her father built to keep her safe. I’m going to admit, I absolutely loved Spooky and how protective he is of Allii. Despite her not making the best choices for her safety, at the end of the day he was willing.

Which begs the question what her father was thinking. Both him and her mother really. It’s fine to have a relationship and to be confident in your choices, but it’s another to not be prepared. It was a major oversight on her father’s part; because of his inaction, she was almost killed. Even if he named her his heir, it was almost laughable, whatever attempts he made to bring her to power. 

That being said, I did like the fact that Muller took the time to explore all sides of the conflict. This wasn’t just between the Sallonians and the Muffics; it also integrated the Halflings and those the royal court deemed lesser than. The story mirrored real life; too often we’re caught on both sides that we don’t actually analyze the impact the root of the problem had on others. It’s narrow-minded, and in my opinion, what destroyed Nana in the end. The quotes in each of the books illustrated this theme as well, the philosophies that the Muffic, the Sallonians, and finally, the Halflings followed. 

One quote that I absolutely loved was, “We are the young trees, and the eternal grass. We will bend today, so that we can stand straight tomorrow.” In counseling, we try to encourage flexible thinking in our clients; it’s what helps them not be too distressed about the things going on around them, and limits the impact others have on them mentally and emotionally. Personally, I think it’s also how you become okay with living in a world like this. No one deals with absolutes, and if they do, they’re limited in what they can do. 

As such, because of the themes, the character development, and the way those small details build into a more wholesome, almost brutally honest picture, I would give this book a 5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for A Box of Magick by Jamie Della

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

A Box of Magick by Jamie Della, is a foundational guide for those interested in pursuing witchcraft as a spiritual practice. Della discusses how someone can use seemingly simple traditions to bring magic into their lives, from herbalism, to different divination techniques, to spell crafting tools and meditating styles. Unlike most other 101 books, Della takes an eclectic approach to teaching witchcraft, and encourages being inclusive with the traditions, in spite of what others may believe.

I appreciate Della including her mentor in the book, even more so when she has her writing the epilogue. It shows how important our elders are to our practice, which, surprisingly enough, there’s a lack of in foundational books. I also enjoyed how inclusive Della is, referring to either God, or Goddess, or Spirit, or the Universe as a main source of higher energetic power. It emphasizes the fact that witchcraft can involve worship of anyone. It’s there reason why there’s a growing number of witches who are atheists, who practice Abrahamic faiths, ect. You don’t necessarily have to be pagan, or even Wiccan, for that matter, to be a witch. It’s a lifestyle choice. There are also times I see the influences of other authors from Dr. Clarissa Estés and Danielle Dulsky, to Salicrow’s and, at times, even Raven Silverwolf. 

Although I do wish Della included more references in regards to crystals and various herbs, I feel like this is a good general book for any witch who wants to start building their library. While I’d recommend them getting different compendiums and compiling your own book of shadows, I can see the value in a witch having this book. As such, I would give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Jillian’s Song by Susan A. Buchanan

I received this book for free. This did not impact my review in any shape or form.

Jillian’s Song, by Susan A. Buchanan, is a contemporary romance about a young woman who falls in love, and with the help of her friends and family, pursues him. Jillian is a professional young woman who decides to take on a personal assistant role for Reid, a famous celebrity with way too much time on his hands. From meddling mothers to paparazzi shoots, it’s all Jillian can do to try to keep up with her newly found passions, whether it be for Reid or her own life. 

The book has a lot of potential. I liked the humor between Jillian and Reid. I liked how supportive everyone was of her relationship, despite how odd the two seem at first. Moreover, I enjoyed the friendship between Jillian and her brother; I don’t often read about non-toxic sibling relationships, so this was a welcome surprise. That being said, there were mistakes littered throughout the book. The pacing was off, and to be perfectly honest, I wished Reid would respect Jillian’s “no.” In all honesty, Jillian has more to lose here than Reid, and for him not to respect that seems more than a little disrespectful in my opinion. As a result, I found the sex scenes rather cringey, and the conflicts not as gripping as they could be. 

As such, I would give this book a 2 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Closure by Garrett Addison

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form. 

Closure, by Garrett Addison, is a psychological thriller about how far someone will go to get justice, no matter how cruel this might be. The book introduces Dr. James Malter, a clinical psychologist dedicated to helping hospice patients find peace before they die. After being accosted by Detective Nate Kelshaw, Malter suddenly finds himself in the middle of a criminal investigation, in which his patients have begun to kill people. As bodies start piling up, Kelshaw and Malter must find the link between his patients and the victims before another innocent is caught in the crossfire. 

I’ve got to admit; in the beginning, Nate Kelshaw was a complete dick. While I do understand the frustration he has with Malter, especially since he treated his wife, you catch more flies with honey. Hell, if only he’d been a little nicer the investigation could’ve started much sooner, and the body count could’ve been cut down in half. That being said, I do like how they were able to come together, if only to try to protect Melanie, even if it took an arm and a leg to get them there. Moreover, I liked the dichotomy that Nigel and Tom had. Although Tom had destroyed an innocent, in the end he got to live, even if it meant being tortured by the memories of his transgressions. Nigel, on the other hand, doesn’t have that luxury. Despite him becoming a monster, he embraced it, never minding what Jenny wanted, or Matter, for that matter. They became shells of what they once were, and for all their preening and posturing, they both ended up suffering the same fate.

That being said, the book does posit interesting questions on how someone should handle grief. If we were going off of clinical definitions, it’s easy to see how their grief would be dismissed by the mental health professionals, even loved ones. It begs the question what lengths people will go through to get justice, especially when they’ve got nothing left, and no one else is willing to give it to them. It reminded me of a detective series I used to read when I was a kid, where the murderer was a teenaged girl who was dying of cancer. It doesn’t matter what punishment the judge handed her; in the end there’s only so much anyone can do. Similarly, the way Tom treats his punishment harkens back to Crime and Punishment, in which the character was tortured by his own conscience. Similarly, Tom tries to go through the same journey, being repentant, avoiding people, love, intimacy, everything. And yet, Nigel makes a point; Tom got to live his life the way he chose. The same couldn’t be said of Jenny. 

I have to admit; the somewhat happy ending seems out of place. Despite that, I enjoyed the intricate plot lines and complex themes. As such, I would give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for The Sound of Kindness by Amy Ludwig Vanderwater

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

The Sound of Kindness, by Amy Ludwig VanDerwater, is a children’s book about finding compassion all around us, even though we might not see it at first. It’s a small, simple book, but it carries important lessons within minimalistic phrases. From neighbors greeting neighbors, to strangers helping others in need, to even friends sharing a simple conversation, VanDerwater is incredibly poignant with turning everyday interactions into teachable moments for kindness and empathy. 

Similar to How Much Love Can a Heart Hold? by Angela Panayotopulos, I can see both children and adults delightfully reading this. Teachers and students can benefit from this book by emphasizing socio-psychological development, especially for students who have had delays in social skills due to COVID-19. It also encourages kids to practice mindfulness by paying attention to the environment around them, whether it be the classroom, or at home, or even in the real world, where everyone’s gone crazy with blaming, victim shaming, and chaos. It’s a skill not many adults possess, but this book certainly lays the foundation. 

I enjoyed how VanDerwater made such lessons into an enjoyable rhyme that I could see myself humming to. The illustrations gave me a calm I didn’t realize I needed; the cover, of course, helps. As such, I would give this book a 5 out of 5 stars. 

Book Review for Why? by Melissa Allen Health

I received this book for free. This does not impact the review in any shape or form. 

Why? by Melissa Allen Heath, is a children’s story dedicated to exploring the questions a child might have when their parent commits suicide, and how to approach the topic gently and in a way that encourages the child mentally and emotionally. The story begins with a kid named Oliver, who had recently lost his father to suicide. Despite her grief, his mother explains to him the love that Oliver’s father had for him, and that even though he wasn’t there, Oliver still carries his father’s love with him.

Children, especially around Oliver’s age, tend to think that the world revolves around them. As such, things like a parent’s death, or a divorce, or even a simple fight may invoke guilt in the child. With this in mind, Heath makes a point that Oliver’s mother be honest with him. She didn’t sugarcoat it (saying things like “he’s in heaven right now”), didn’t brush him off, didn’t push him away. Instead, she sat him down, and gently told him what had happened. I also liked how Heath approached mental illness; I would even posit that, through this, Oliver has become more cognizant and empathetic of other people’s thoughts and emotions. Oliver can understand and help those who are in his position who are affected by mental health illnesses when he’s older. It’s a privilege that not many children have. 

While the art style isn’t necessarily my taste, I do enjoy how Heath painted depression as this deep, dark shadow. But when his mother told Oliver about the love his father carried for him, all the happy times and the comfort that Oliver continues to hold close, the light grows brighter, stronger. Because of this, as well as it’s encouraging blueprint of what to say when children are forced to reckon with such a loss, I would give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Book Review for Kit and Basie by Tess Carletta

I received this book for free. This does not impact the review in any shape or form. 

Kit and Basie, by Tess Carletta, is a sweet, small town romance about an immortal who, after losing his mother, reminds himself of where his family is and where he truly belongs. Basil “Basie” Yeats lives in the town of Long Lily as its only electrician. After his mother decides to end her life, Basie is left reeling. In his grief, he sells his mother’s house to a man named Christopher “Kit” Elliot, whom he is, unfortunately, attracted to, and unwittingly falls in love with. So begins a wholesome romance between two men, both of whom are searching for a comfort they didn’t even know they needed. 

I enjoyed the calm, gentle atmosphere that Long Lily offered. It’s an idyllic setting that almost reads like the Chicken-Soup-for-the-Soul series. Everyone knows each other, and while, at least in the books I’ve read, small towns get a bad reputation, in this case I would’ve loved to live here. The people were very friendly; it reminds me of a Southern town where everyone greets you with a smile, excluding the racism, homophobia, and other prejudices. Then again, the people living here were accepting of an immortal woman and her son, so I can’t really say I’m surprised. 

Moreover, Basie and Kits provide a stark reality of the things people will do when they grieve. I liked how Adella didn’t hold anything against Basie’s father when he left, nor did Kit when he and Axe broke up. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people we love, hard when we’re the only ones left. And despite Basie’s admittedly frustrating actions, I can certainly understand them; love isn’t all fun and games, and when Death comes, even for immortals, it can be downright painful. It doesn’t discriminate, no matter how much we love and cry and beg. It’s the reason why I thought Kit honoring Adella by finishing her sunflower mural was so lovely, why Basie, in spite of his original desires to leave, decided to return and settle down. The world is a big enough place, and a lot of people don’t have the luxury of loved ones to stave off the loneliness. What these two have is precious. 

That being said, I did think the ending took away some of the bittersweet beauty just a bit. Even so, I appreciated Carletta’s stark honesty with wanting to confront grief as a whole. As such, I would give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. 

(Useful) National Hotlines and Helplines

As the title suggests, this post is a list of national helplines that could be beneficial for people. This list is by no means exhaustive. However, I, as well as my coworkers, have found ourselves giving more and more of these resources everyday to people who need the extra support, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. As such, here is a list of national hotlines that you guys can use if, or when, you need it.

 

Suicide Prevention for Adults 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and/or Mental Health Crisis Line 

988 (for Ohio, it’s 9888)

For the crisis text line, it’s 741741 

Grad Crisis Line

Specifically geared towards graduate students who may experience suicidal ideation. Call 1-877-472-3457

 

Domestic Violence, Sexual Trauma, and LGBTQIA+

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 

RAINN Hotline (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network)

1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

LGBTQ Hotline

1-888-843-4564

For young people who are LGBTQIA+ and who are in crisis, the Trevor Project can be of use. The number is: 1-866-488-7386. You can also text START to 678678

National Human Trafficking Hotline

1-888-373-7888

National Abortion Hotline

Provides funding for women who may need abortion. Keep in mind though 1-800-772-9100, open Monday through Friday

For individuals who are experiencing emotional pain after they’ve had their abortion (grief, depression, regret), there’s the h3helpline. Call or text this organization at 866-721-7881

Substance Misuse and Other Addictive Behaviors 

National Substance Abuse and Mental Health Hotline 

1-800-662-HELP (4357) 

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline

1-800-931-2237

Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) 

Follows the 12 step traditions to treating sex addiction. Call them at 1-800-477-8191

National Council on Problem Gambling

Help for those who are experiencing gambling addictions. Call them at 1-800-GAMBLER

CoDA 

Get help for those experiencing codependency. They offer support groups, and approach codependency through a 12 steps program. Call them at 1-888-444-2359

Family and/or Youth 

National Parent Helpline 

1-855-427-2736 

National Child Abuse Hotline

1-800-422-2253

National Runaway Safeline

The line gives safe, confidential support to young people who are homeless and runaways. The number is 1-800-786-2929

Caregiver Action Network

1-855-227-3640

Mothers Against Drunk Driving

1-877-623-3435

Your Life, Your Voice from Boys Town

Help for students who are dealing with the struggles of school and home life. Can also help students who are experiencing suicidal ideation, bullying, and mental illness: 1-800-448-3000 or text 20121

Veterans 

Veterans Crisis Line

1-800-273-8255 or text 838255

 

Immigrants

The National Immigration Detention Hotline

Connects migrants with resources to help their families, documentation, and navigating the legal system. You can call 209-757-3733, or text 9233# if you’re inside detention

USCIS.gov

If you and/or your family are applying for citizenship, calling this number is a good way to track your case. Keep in mind when you contact them, you’ll receive a text message and/or email before they contact you, which may take 1-2 business days. Toll free number is 800-375-5238. If you’re outside the United States, it’s 212-620-3418. 

Making a Safety Plan

When you hear safety plan, you might think of someone who’s suicidal. Or someone with an addictive behavior, whether it be substance misuse, eating, or otherwise. And true; in hindsight, people who live with these conditions ought to have a safety plan. However, in the mental health world, it’s important that everyone has one. Doesn’t matter if you’re receiving therapy, giving therapy, prescribing medications, lending a friendly ear, ect. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a written document, and it looks different for everyone. For example, if you’re a caregiver, this could look like having go to contacts in your phone in case you’re feeling burnt out. For mental health professionals, it could be planning on taking days off, or incorporating better coping skills into your plan (practice what you preach). The same can be said for anyone who works with the public, whether you’re a teacher, a police officer, a religious authority, ect.

Below are three main components of a safety plan. I used the term overwhelmed, rather than “suicidal”, “relapsed”, or “triggered” because, unfortunately, mental health is still stigmatized. As such, I feel people would be more welcoming to the phrasing, especially those who might still be getting used to the idea of receiving help (me included).

Behaviors I Show When I’m Getting Overwhelmed

What behaviors are you showing when you feel overwhelmed? What are you thinking or feeling? It’s important to pay attention to your own body when you’re starting to get run down. For me, I know I’m getting overwhelmed when I start crying, when I start getting irritated by every little thing anyone ever does, and I feel that the slightest inconvenience is gonna piss me off even more. For others, it could be self-isolating, self-harming, feeling lonely, depressed, sad, angry, for long stretches of time. It’s why burnout is so insidious, why anger can be toxic; it’s a build up. And if you don’t let out some steam, you’re gonna explode.

Behaviors I Show When I’m Overwhelmed

Similar to when you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed, it’s the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions you experienced when you’re feeling overwhelmed. This can be you crying, you having panic attacks (not breathing, heart and minds racing, ect.), you lashing out, you threatening things you don’t mean, stuff like that. For people who may be suicidal, this can include having a plan of action, intent, and ideation. For people who have misused substances and alcohol in the past, it can be picking up the bottle or the needle, and replaying old behaviors. Caregivers may do something they might regret, such as screaming at their loved ones, or placing their loved ones in intentional harm.

My Action Plan

Your action plan is what you plan on doing when you’re overwhelmed, or when you’re starting to get overwhelmed. This can include but is not limited to:

Coping skills (like deep breathing, distracting yourself, positive self-talk, taking things moment by moment)Supportive contacts (friends and family, healthcare and mental health professionals, hotline numbers)If things go too far (any hospitals you might turn to, any national phone numbers you might want to call).

Everyone gets overwhelmed, even the strongest of us. Everyone says or does things that they may regret. That’s why it’s important to have one in place so that not only are you taking care of the people around you, but you’re also taking care of yourself.