Jason Clark's Blog, page 17

Hell and the Older Brother

Excerpted from Leaving and Finding Jesus / Chapter Ten: Yes, I Sure Hope So

In Luke 15, Jesus told a story about an older brother. He worked his father’s land faithfully while his younger brother ran off with his inheritance to live in, as Benson’s Commentary notes, “unbounded riot and debauchery….” (1)

Then one day, while slaving under the hot sun, the older brother learned his prodigal brother had returned, received forgiveness, and been restored to the family. You probably remember what happened next.

Upon hearing about the prodigal’s return, the older brother leapt with delight, left his labor, and raced to the house to greet him. As he neared the house, he recognized the sounds of merrymaking. Thrilled that His Father had thrown a party, he ran to join them.

There was cheering, wonder, and joy as he reconciled with his brother in an embrace. The older brother also felt a stunning reverence for their father’s relentless, ultimate, restorative nature. “I have hoped and eagerly waited for this day. Reconciliation, at last!” The older brother thought as heaven invaded earth. And everyone was so happy!

Yeah, that’s not what happened.

The father did throw a reconciliation party, but the older brother wasn’t happy about it.

Instead, he took offense and became furious at his father’s forgiving and reconciling nature. As far he was concerned, time had run out on his younger sibling long ago. Hell trains, gnashing of teeth, and eternal separation in a lake of fire—you know, forever, etc. That was the punishment his little brother had earned.

“While my brother partied, I slaved,” the older brother thought angrily. Then he began to count sins. He hadn’t wallowed in “unbounded riot and debauchery” or rejected and betrayed the family. Like a Rich Young Ruler, he’d kept all the commandments. He hadn’t committed murder or adultery, hadn’t stolen anything, or given false testimony; he honored his father. “Hell, I’ve worked my ass off for the old man,” he thought as he fumed outside the reconciliation party.

That last thought was his tipping point into hell. “I’ve earned a reward while my brother has earned punishment, but instead, our father forgives and restores him to the family?” He thought. “It’s unacceptable!”

The older brother would take no part in forgiveness or reconciliation. He wouldn’t join the party. Hell, he wouldn’t even go into the same damn house! And that’s what he told his father after his dad left the ninety-nine to be with his wayward son.

The older brother fumed as his father stood quietly beside him outside the party. The laughter of reconciliation spilled into the cold dark night, each sound of joy offending his self-righteous paradigm until he couldn’t take it any longer. He turned and erupted.

“Look!” the older brother said to the Emmaus Road Stranger…

Wait, let me try that again.

“Look!” the older brother said to the Farmer who went out to sow seed…

Nope, one more time.

“Look!” the older brother said to his father. “All these years, I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet, you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.”

The father looked at his oldest boy and said, “My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” In essence, “Son, there has never been any need to slave under the heavy weight of reward and punishment. Eternal life has always been available to you here and now!”

The older brother was confronted with the offensive truth that he had been keeping score in a game his father wasn’t playing. When it comes to heaven and hell, I think most Western Christians are playing the same deterministic reward and punishment game, which reminds me of a joke I once heard from my friend Paul Young. It went something like this.

* * *

A man arrived suddenly at heaven’s gates. He was surprised and unsure of what to do. “Do I just walk in?” he wondered to himself. The Apostle Peter, who happened to have gate duty that day, saw the man’s consternation and walked over to him. Relieved, the man lowered his voice and asked, “So, do I just…walk in?”

Peter lowered his voice to match the fella and solemnly responded, “Well, I guess it depends.”

The man nodded, “It depends on something,” he thought. It made sense. “Uh…what does it depend on?” He asked.

Peter answered, “Well, it depends on how many points you have.

“I’m required to have points to get in?”

“Of course.”

“Uh…how many points do I need?”

Peter leaned in and quietly said, “You need a hundred points.”

The man thought for a moment, then grinned. “Only a hundred? Well, I pastored a church for 40 years; only took time off according to my contract. Preached the gospel and prayed for people.”

Peter smiled broadly. “That is wonderful. I will totally give you a point for that.”

The man looked shocked. “A point, one point? That’s all it’s worth, one point?”

“Totally worth a point,” Peter repeated, grinning.

“Uh…well, I worked at the soup kitchen on Saturday evening for a few years, you know, helping with the poor and all.”

“Another point, good for you.”

The man, nervous now, continued. “Okay, I asked Jesus to come into my heart as my Lord and Savior, was baptized and all?”

Peter thought for a few seconds before speaking. “Well, not sure about that one. Folks have only been doing that for a couple of hundred years, so probably not.”

The man began to panic as he thought about his life—all the stuff he had done and not done; and for what, two points?

Right about that time, another fella showed up, and the pastor recognized him as the owner of a coffee shop in the same town where he had lived and died. He was a nice guy, but only a C&E Christian. You know, Christmas and Easter. The fella walked by and waved to him and Peter and then proceeded without hesitation right through the Pearly Gates.

The pastor leaned forward and asked in a desperate and serious tone, “Are you kidding me? That guy has a hundred points?”

Peter put his arm around the pastor and grinned, “Naw, he’s just not playing this game!”

* * *

You know, when our faith is built upon the dualistic certainty of reward and punishment, we’ll think of heaven and hell in the context of points earned or lost. We’ll slave for a god who counts sin, a god who measures the width, length, height, and depth of the distance between us. And eventually, we will participate in the hell of separation and retribution in direct opposition with the reconciling heart of a good Father.

And how great is that darkness?

(1) Benson’s Commentary

This article is excerpted from my book, Leaving and Finding Jesus
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Jason Clark is a bestselling storyteller who writes to reveal the transforming kindness of the love of God. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children, Madeleine, Ethan, and Eva. Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… The Glory of God… Without Lifting A Finger

by Lloyd Clark | October 5, 2021 | Articles, Faith, Intimacy, Lloyd's Corner, Sin | 5 Comments

The romance is in the truth that God always loved me, before my co-operation or obedience. Long before I put my trust in Him, He was passionately in love with me. I have always been the apple of His eye! “I was in Him before I was in Adam!” And the incarnate Christ redeemed the glory that I already was!

Read More He Loves Me Best / S&U Message

by Jason Clark | January 2, 2012 | Art, Books, Crisis of Identity, Faith, Intimacy, The Fathers Love, Untamed | 2 Comments

The title of my message was “He loves me best!” I hope to post it here in the coming days, but for a quick synopsis, check out this film that was shot last year to help promote my book Surrendered & Untamed.

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Published on March 08, 2023 15:15

BISHOP JAMIE ENGLEHART / MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS

Bishop Jamie Englehart Myths & Misconceptions

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Lucifer and the devil, God, and control, union vs. separation, awakening to Light, Life, and Love, and approaching scripture through sonship; in this conversation, Bishop Jamie Englehart breaks down myths for truth and sheds light on many of our religious misconceptions that have been built upon separation.

Jamie’s understanding of the Kingdom of God, the New Covenant, and the heart of the Father is evident in every word he speaks.

Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!

For more on Jamie Englehart
Facebook
Website: www.connectinternationalministries.com

Podcast intro and outro music by Wilde Assembly

Derek Turner Follower of Jesus, in love with @sarahjturner, father to @caro.turn & @kaaatters, owner of Milo, pastor @rivercharlotte. Amazed by Grace
www.rivercharlotte.com

Follow Follow Follow Jason Clark is a writer, speaker, and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.

Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY BUY NOW!

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Daniel Grothe and the guys discuss his new book, The Power of Place, which speaks the sense of loneliness that many feel in today’s age of hypermobility and noncommittal wandering, reminding us of the ancient vow of stability and teaching us how we can lead a richer life of friendship, community, and purpose.

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Union, a Triune God, mutual indwelling others-centered love (perichoresis) approaching scripture to discover Jesus, and communion are some of the themes Rod Williams dives into. What if “all” means “all” and God isn’t distant? There is no distance, no separation in God and this conversation is a beautiful invitation to awaken to that discovery and our union with Him.

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With humor and authenticity, Lloyd talks about the finished work of the Cross, how Jesus fixed the problem of separation, and our invitation to awaken to our union.

Read More DALE HOWIE / UNSPOKEN SERMONS ON THE GOOD NEWS OF INCLUSION

by A Family Story | June 23, 2021 | Interview, Intimacy, Life, Prayer, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two, The Fathers Love | 3 Comments

Paraphrasing the sermons of George MacDonald, Dale Howie shares his sometimes painful, often beautiful, journey of awakening to the irreducible truth of life discovered in relationship. He speaks to grace, our common Fatherhood, our inclusion in Christ’s life, death and resurrection, our union, and the wonder of our humanity. A humble storyteller and relational theologian, Dale speaks as a father on behalf of Our Father, who loves all His children with a reconciling love.

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Published on March 08, 2023 14:27

No Omissions

Excerpted from Leaving and Finding Jesus / Chapter Seven: Retribution

While we could discuss the afterlife endlessly, “I don’t know” is the only empirically true answer. As to the answer a relational theologian would give, I think anything less than “I sure hope so” would be anti-Christ. I don’t write that with condemnation, but as a challenge to the hearts and minds of friends of Jesus—that we might be set free!

As for me, “Yes, I sure hope so” is my answer. I’ve grown convinced that answer best aligns my heart with the heart Jesus demonstrated on the cross when, hanging between heaven and earth, He said, “Father, forgive them.”

* * *

“Them” is everyone.

There is no exclusion, no, “Father, forgive them….”

if they stop sinning

if they repent

if they receive Me

if they say a sinner’s prayer

if they believe in My name

if they love Me

if they love one another

if they obey My commandments

if they are faithful

if they read Scripture

if they believe in eternal conscious torment

if…

Nope.

Just, “Father, forgive them.”

All of them.

“For they know not what they do….” Their eyes are unhealthy, and how great is their darkness…

On that cross, God was in Christ reconciling “the world to Himself,” not counting our if’s against us. “The world” includes all the peoples.

There were no omissions, no “The world except everyone in Timbuctoo, El Dorado, and The Simpsons who live at 742 Evergreen Terrace in Springfield, Oregon.

Nope—just “the world.” All of it!

Then, Jesus, on a cross, proclaimed, “It is finished.”

* * *

“Finished” means “ended or completed.” I looked it up. Case closed, settled, resolved. No one was overlooked by Christ at the cross—not even Judas. Paul told us, “…in Adam, all die, so in Christ, all will be made alive.”

“All” means, “everyone.” I looked it up.

It’s crazy, but most Christians put their faith in the first part of that verse, “In Adam, all die,” but seem to completely ignore the second half and the whole point, “so in Christ all will be made alive.”

What does that ultimately mean? I don’t know, but I bet it’s measurelessly good, and I’m convinced that anything less than positioning our hearts in the hope that all means “everyone.” is not just anti-Christ; it places us firmly on the “What am I still lacking?” road, cut off from experiencing eternal life in the ever-present now. It positions us as self-righteous malcontents slaving on the wrong side of a three-foot concrete median, often in opposition to our Father’s reconciling heart…

This article is excerpted from my book, Leaving and Finding Jesus
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Jason Clark is a bestselling storyteller who writes to reveal the transforming kindness of the love of God. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children, Madeleine, Ethan, and Eva. Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… Seen and Known

by Hope Wiles | December 18, 2019 | Articles, Faith, God Is Not In Control, Life, The Fathers Love | 4 Comments

Sometimes He speaks when it’s quiet, and sometimes when its loud. Sometimes it’s inconvenient. Right in the middle of Walmart close to Christmas. Listen. Listen. Don’t miss the chance to connect with His heart. He invites us in. He invites us to not just know Him, but to have an experience of love as we follow through.

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In early 2010, my brother Joel asked me if I would be interested in writing the guide book to the second offering of Donald Millers “The Open Table.” …

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Published on March 01, 2023 22:50

THOMAS JAY OORD & KEITH GILES / DECONSTRUCTING HELL

Thomas Jay Oord & Keith Giles Deconstructing Hell

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Perhaps no modern church dogma has been more destructive to the mission of Jesus, created more atheists, or generated more religious trauma than that of eternal conscious torment (ECT).

In this podcast, the guys talk with Thomas Jay Oord and Keith Giles about their collaboration on Chad Bahl’s book, Deconstructing Hell. The book brings together experts in their fields to take the reader on a historical, philosophical, and theological journey to deconstruct this harmful doctrine, and the podcast highlights Oord and Gile’s contribution.

The guys dive into the “logic of love” and offer compelling pathways to reconstruct a biblical perspective on the nature of God and our understanding of hell.

For more on Thomas Jay Oord, Keith Giles, or Chad Bahl
Thomas Jay Oord: www.thomasjayoord.com
Keith Giles: www.patheos.com/blogs/keithgiles/
Chad Bahl: www.facebook.com/chad.bahl

Deconstructing Hell: Amazon Link

Podcast intro and outro music by Wilde Assembly

Derek Turner Follower of Jesus, in love with @sarahjturner, father to @caro.turn & @kaaatters, owner of Milo, pastor @rivercharlotte. Amazed by Grace
www.rivercharlotte.com

Follow Follow Follow Jason Clark is a writer, speaker, and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.

Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY BUY NOW!

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Read More THE PROBLEM WITH RETRIBUTION WITH JASON CLARK

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This podcast announces and features Jason’s new book, Leaving and Finding Jesus, in audio format. Retribution is the title of chapter seven and is presented in its entirety. In this chapter and podcast, Jason juxtaposes retribution with reconciliation and recognizes that a punishment lens on the nature of God is one of the reasons the church is navigating broken trust. It’s also why we currently find ourselves in a Deconstruction Movement.

God is as Jesus revealed Him, and on a cross Jesus forgave. God in Christ reconciled the world to Himself.

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“Christian faith, for me, is no longer a static location but a great spiritual journey…what matters most…is not where we are but where we’re going.” This podcast is a gentle invitation to discover a way of faith defined by love. Brian and Jason discuss navigating rejection, stepping away from literalism, and inerrancy in our approach to scripture and faith, and their personal journey of trusting that God is better than our best thoughts about Him.

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Healing, miracles, the power of God, evangelism through the gospel of inclusion, faith, and reframing repentance, Carlos shares about his journey of discovering that the miraculous, or a transformed life, is simply about discovering God’s love and our origin and union in Him.

Read More JOHN CROWDER / TRINITARIAN THEOLOGY

by A Family Story | May 25, 2022 | Crisis of Identity, Faith, God Is Not In Control, Hell, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season three, Sin, The Fathers Love | 2 Comments

John Crowder pulls from the different streams of the church to talk about Christilogical Trinitarian theology, grace, union, contemplative practice, intimacy, and mystical Christianity. John and Jason dive into the Cross, Western atonement theories, and the religious industry built upon separation; how Jesus is healing the human race. John describes a relationship with a person, Christ. He invites us to embrace mystery so we might discover that God looks like Jesus.

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Published on March 01, 2023 18:56

Trust Is My Throughline

Excerpted from Leaving and Finding Jesus / Chapter Seven: Retribution

I interviewed William Paul Young, author of The Shack, a couple of years ago. During the conversation, he asserted, “Trust is my throughline.” I loved the statement. It resonated deeply.

A “throughline” is a central theme on which a writer focuses, holding the whole piece together.

Trust is the central theme of life here on earth. Trust is our throughline and the evidence of heaven coming to earth. Trust is eternal life in the ever-present now. Trust is a Triune God perfectly revealed in the God-Man, Jesus. Trust is discovered in Jesus’ prayer that we would know union as He did—first with Him, our heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit; then with each other.

Trust is defined in Jesus’ rebuke of Peter’s swung sword and revealed at a cross through the sovereignty of Greater Love. 1

Trust is the goal for every human interaction on this often broken and divided planet, and, because it is an often broken and divided planet, trust is our most valuable commodity. And it is a commodity: it’s both earned and traded.

I’ll say it again. Trust is earned through faithfulness over time by those who lay down their lives. When it comes to this world, without trust, there is no eternal life, no heaven on earth, no family of God—only corporations, institutions, and systems for the purpose of control and power grabs.

Trust looks like Jesus. He earned our trust. He laid down His life to prove it. On His way to the cross, a Triune God rebuked the violence of Peter’s sword and gave His very life so we could fully and truly trust.

No one can experience union without trust, and only Greater Love can be fully trusted. Jesus is where trust can be placed, He is what trust looks like, and how trust works. Outside of the model Jesus gave us on a cross, reconciling the cosmos, not counting our divisions against us, trust is fleeting.

And, sadly, when it comes to much of the church today, trust is fleeting. Why? Because, instead of revealing in God’s measurelessly reconciling love, we have become obsessed with retribution.

Consequently, like my angry Christian friend, much of the church doesn’t seem to understand how trust works. Trust can’t be coerced, controlled, pressured, compelled, manipulated, or forced. There is no arm twisting, shaming, or condemning, no fear of retribution or punishment. Trust is only available through participating in mutual, other-centered, self-giving love.

Trust is earned through faithfulness, demonstrated over time, by those who lay down their lives. Period.

And trust is lost when love is presented through the faithless hypocrisy of a good Father who looked away, a punishing God who throws spears, a condemning God who swings swords, and a people who do the same.

Thankfully, Jesus took the trust-compromising, retributive God lens to the cross. God in Christ stepped inside the cruel and fallen belief of retribution and blew up the whole thing. Cruciform love reconciled the world. Then, He rose from the grave, met Peter on a beach, reconciled him in love, and has been building His church upon the Rock of reconciling love ever since.

And only upon this Cornerstone can the church be trusted to feed His Sheep.

1 John 17:21

This article is excerpted from my book, Leaving and Finding Jesus
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Jason Clark is a bestselling storyteller who writes to reveal the transforming kindness of the love of God. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children, Madeleine, Ethan, and Eva. Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… Sibling Rivalry: The Pee Tyrant

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At 10 years of age, I thought that this was grossly inappropriate. Now if Joel had needed to pee…

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With humor and authenticity, Lloyd talks about the finished work of the Cross, how Jesus fixed the problem of separation, and our invitation to awaken to our union.

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Published on February 22, 2023 09:26

THE PROBLEM WITH RETRIBUTION WITH JASON CLARK

The Problem with Retribution Chapter Seven / Leaving and Finding Jesus

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This podcast announces and features Jason’s new book, Leaving and Finding Jesus, in audio format. Retribution is the title of chapter seven and is presented in its entirety.

In this chapter and podcast, Jason juxtaposes retribution with reconciliation and recognizes that a punishment lens on the nature of God is one of the reasons the church is navigating broken trust. It’s also why we currently find ourselves in a Deconstruction Movement.

God is as Jesus revealed Him, and on a cross, Jesus forgave. And on a cross, God, in Christ, reconciled the world to Himself.

Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!

For more on Leaving and Finding Jesus
Amazon
A Family Story Store

Podcast intro and outro music by Wilde Assembly

Derek Turner Follower of Jesus, in love with @sarahjturner, father to @caro.turn & @kaaatters, owner of Milo, pastor @rivercharlotte. Amazed by Grace www.rivercharlotte.com

Follow Follow Follow Jason Clark is a writer, speaker, and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.

Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY BUY NOW!

YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… KATHRYN LYNN CIENIEWICZ / LOVE IS THE LONG GAME

by A Family Story | February 24, 2021 | Crisis of Identity, Interview, Intimacy, Leadership, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two, The Fathers Love | 2 Comments

Salvation, hell, justice, equality, the bible, and the unconditional transformative always good Love of God; in this insightful interview, Kathryn talks about her spiritual deconstruction and the journey of rethinking God. She brilliantly addresses the sin of certainty, newfound feminism, and a Love that casts out all fear.

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Published on February 22, 2023 09:21

SHAWN HARNISH / UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Shawn Harnish Unconditional Love

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Pastoring a community, faith and living in mystery, putting unconditional love before understanding, kindness that leads to repentance, the nature of trust, punishment hell, Bible College, the Age of Certainty, and timeless reconciling love – in this conversation, Shawn Harnish shares about his 25-plus years of pastoring in one area and the transforming discovery of the finished work of the cross. Add to that, 25-plus years of friendship with Jason and a mutual love of the Buffalo Bills, and you got a profound and fun conversation – Go Bills!

For more on Shawn Harnish
Facebook
Website: www.dansvillefoursquare.org

Podcast intro and outro music by Wilde Assembly

Derek Turner Follower of Jesus, in love with @sarahjturner, father to @caro.turn & @kaaatters, owner of Milo, pastor @rivercharlotte. Amazed by Grace
www.rivercharlotte.com

Follow Follow Follow Jason Clark is a writer, speaker, and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.

Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY BUY NOW!

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Karen Swallow Prior is a Reader, Writer, and Professor. In that order, which was discussed in this conversation along with the power of language, the Word becoming flesh, the connection of imagination with logic and reason, empathy, trauma, the theodicy of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and love being the center of our conversations. Karen also shares about getting hit by a literal bus and how she grew in her understanding that her life is in God’s hands.

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Salvation, hell, justice, equality, the bible, and the unconditional transformative always good Love of God; in this insightful interview, Kathryn talks about her spiritual deconstruction and the journey of rethinking God. She brilliantly addresses the sin of certainty, newfound feminism, and a Love that casts out all fear.

Read More SHAWN HARNISH / UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

by Jason Clark | February 16, 2023 | Faith, Intimacy, Relationship, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Four, Sin, The Fathers Love, Writing | 0 Comments

Pastoring a community, faith and living in mystery, putting unconditional love before understanding, kindness that leads to repentance, the nature of trust, punishment hell, Bible College, the Age of Certainty, and timeless reconciling love – in this conversation, Shawn Harnish shares about his 25-plus years of pastoring in one area and the transforming discovery of the finished work of the cross. Add to that, 25-plus years of friendship with Jason and a mutual love of the Buffalo Bills, and you got a profound and fun conversation – Go Bills!

Read More LEIF HETLAND / THE LOVE AWAKENING

by A Family Story | July 6, 2022 | Crisis of Identity, Faith, Intimacy, Miracles, Popular, Prayer, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season three, The Fathers Love | 0 Comments

In this conversation Leif, Mark Appleyard, and Jason dive into Leif’s new book, The Love Awakening. Through personal stories, the guys discuss the powerful, supernatural Baptism of Love that breaks off shame, affirms identity, and reveals the unconditional love of the Father. This is a life-giving conversation around union, evangelism, and the miraculous.

Read More SHEILA GREGOIRE / THE GREAT SEX RESCUE

by A Family Story | June 13, 2021 | Interview, Intimacy, Leadership, Life, Marraige, Popular, Relationship, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two | 2 Comments

Intimacy within marriage, the connection between intimacy and mutuality, the nature of trust, the definition of sex, addressing transactional vs relational thinking, dismantling obligation, addressing objectification and broken ideologies developed from Eph 5:22, “Wives submit to your husbands…” Sheila Gregoire practically rethinks sex so husbands and wives can experience intimacy, joy, and deeper connection.

Read More FELICIA MURRELL / EMPATHY; THE TREASURE OF THE INCARNATION

by A Family Story | January 17, 2023 | Faith, Intimacy, Life, Relationship, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Four, Sin, The Fathers Love, Writing | 1 Comment

“The Spirit said to me, ‘I want you to hand to me everything that you believe to be true about God and let me hand back to you everything that is true.’”

Racism, deconstruction, shame, guilt, certainty, empathy, infinite mercy, grace, healing, and other-centered, self-giving love, in this amazing conversation, Felecia and Jason visit fear and prejudice while leaning into the AND of God’s always present, empathetic, reconciling love.

The post SHAWN HARNISH / UNCONDITIONAL LOVE appeared first on A Family Story.

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Published on February 15, 2023 23:08

Karen Wouldn’t Say “Obey”

Karen Wouldn't Say "Obey"

Nearly twenty-nine years ago, a few months before we married, Karen let me know she’d edited out the portion of the vows where the bride promises to obey. You know, “for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and obey, till death us do part.”

I was surprised. Not that she wanted to amend the vows, but by the fact the word obey was only in the woman’s vows. Until that conversation, I’d assumed the vows mirrored each other.

I was naïve for three reasons: First, I was 20 years old and had spent little time thinking about wedding vows.

Second, I wasn’t a woman.

Third, I’d grown up in a home where my parents modeled greater love and equality.

When I realized “obey” was only in the woman’s vows, removing the word was easy and obvious. I agreed wholeheartedly.

While we may not have fully understood the power of our agreement at the time, we knew the foundation of our relationship would not be built on obedience. It would be built on trust and intimacy. There would be no hierarchy in our marriage. We were two becoming one. We desired to know union and intimacy. And so, our marriage would be built on greater love, mutual surrender, submitting one to another—equality.

I love the word obey. I wrote a whole book about radical obedience titled Untamed. Obedience, inside relational trust, is powerfully beautiful, but outside of mutual self-giving love, it can be a deceitful word, a religious obsession that enslaves us. When it comes to marriages, a hierarchal understanding of the word can really mess things up.

I have counseled many fractured marriages where husbands don’t feel respected, wives don’t feel loved, and closeness or intimacy hasn’t been experienced in years. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat dumbfounded as the husband, in an attempt to defend his controlling actions toward his wife, quotes Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands….”

And I’m heartbroken and a little angry when, on more than one occasion, the wife, sitting in tears next to her confused and controlling husband, has said, “I am trying to.”

I’ve had to stop myself from cuffing the fella on the back of the head as he uses the word submit like a gun to manipulate and control—to get what he wants. When submit is used to support hierarchy, it’s a dirty word.

I have seen this hierarchal lens used to compromise trust and undermine access to intimacy. And insecurity and distance are always the fruit of this transactional master-servant relationship.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her….” That’s Ephesians 5:25, and it’s the essential part of Paul’s instruction to married couples. Unfortunately, this verse is not quoted nearly as often as the “Wives submit to your husbands” verse that comes a few sentences earlier.

Jesus best explained what the word submit means when He said, “No one takes it (my life) from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.” 1 Then, Jesus revealed what submitting looks like by going to a cross and laying down His life for us. Jesus rejected the gun, the very idea of hierarchy and control.

Intimacy is impossible in a hierarchy; oneness can only be experienced through equality.

Jesus modeled the way to intimacy through self-giving, other-centered love. And Paul’s instruction to husbands and wives in Ephesians highlights that connection. The fact is, intimacy between a husband and wife is discovered in mutual submission—true equality, greater love.

You see, intimacy can’t be experienced in a relationship where one person exercises control over the other. Two becoming one—union—occurs between two trusting people who surrender, submitting one to another, laying down their lives for each other of their own accord.

There are two types of surrender, forced or voluntary. Greater Love never forces and always volunteers. It’s why we can always trust Him, and it’s how we discover union.

And it works the same way in a marriage.

If you want a transactional, “What am I still lacking?” relationship with your spouse, keep playing the master-servant control game. If you want trust, friendship, oneness, and an ever-growing intimacy, it’s only found in Greater Love.

I’ve shared that thought with both husbands and wives—but mostly while looking at the husband.

And I’ve shared that thought with many Christians as well—but mostly while looking at the leader.

Control is the antithesis of intimacy and oneness. A hierarchal understanding of submission is what’s wrong with this world.

By removing the word obey from our vows, Karen and I took the gun out of our marriage and created a safe place to discover union, intimacy, and an ever-deepening friendship—oneness through true equality.

This article is excerpted from my book, Leaving and Finding Jesus
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Jason Clark is a bestselling storyteller who writes to reveal the transforming kindness of the love of God. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children, Madeleine, Ethan, and Eva. Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… Papa Was A Minister

by Jason Clark | February 10, 2012 | Articles, Faith, Miracles, Prone To Love, Short Story | 3 Comments

After Papa dies, he was a better man; full of grace and love. My Papa was a minister. He was a good man before he died.

The post Karen Wouldn’t Say “Obey” appeared first on A Family Story.

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Published on February 13, 2023 13:54

ROBIN SMIT / IT IS FINISHED

Robin Smit It Is Finished

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“…You are absolutely perfect in the Father’s eyes! You can’t become more perfect than you already are. His heart is captivated by you!” Grace, resurrection, life, the finished work of the cross, and the impact on sin, death, and sickness, this conversation is an invitation to realize and awaken to the fact that we are co-seated with Christ. Robin speaks to the love of our Father, His affection – “He has always loved us we take His breath away!” We are loved in the same way our Father loved Jesus!

This conversation also included Robin’s passion for writing and her new publishing venture, The Writers Society www.thewriterssociety.online

For more on Robin Smit
Instagram: @robinsmitauthor
Website: www.robinsmit.com
The Writers Society: www.thewriterssociety.online

Podcast intro and outro music by Wilde Assembly

Derek Turner Follower of Jesus, in love with @sarahjturner, father to @caro.turn & @kaaatters, owner of Milo, pastor @rivercharlotte. Amazed by Grace
www.rivercharlotte.com

Follow Follow Follow Jason Clark is a writer, speaker, and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.

Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY BUY NOW!

YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… FELICIA MURRELL / EMPATHY; THE TREASURE OF THE INCARNATION

by A Family Story | January 17, 2023 | Faith, God Is Not In Control, Intimacy, Popular, Relationship, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Four, Sin, The Fathers Love | 1 Comment

“The Spirit said to me, ‘I want you to hand to me everything that you believe to be true about God and let me hand back to you everything that is true.’”

Racism, deconstruction, shame, guilt, certainty, empathy, infinite mercy, grace, healing, and other-centered, self-giving love, in this amazing conversation, Felecia and Jason visit fear and prejudice while leaning into the AND of God’s always present, empathetic, reconciling love.

We don’t get to healing without Truth…(we) don’t get to healing in denial – so (we) have to own both the wound and (our) responsibility and completeness….”

Read More CARLOS PADILLA / WALKING IN GOD’S POWER

by A Family Story | May 5, 2021 | Faith, Interview, Intimacy, Leadership, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two | 0 Comments

Healing, miracles, the power of God, evangelism through the gospel of inclusion, faith, and reframing repentance, Carlos shares about his journey of discovering that the miraculous, or a transformed life, is simply about discovering God’s love and our origin and union in Him.

Read More KIM HONEYCUTT / SHAME, AND WHAT TO DO WITH IT

by A Family Story | February 10, 2021 | Crisis of Identity, Faith, Interview, Intimacy, Leadership, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two, The Fathers Love | 2 Comments

In this podcast, Psychotherapist Kim Honeycutt addresses shame, blame the trauma of rejection. She brilliantly highlights our intrinsic worth, our identity in Christ, and the journey from rejection to acceptance.

Read More LLOYD CLARK / I AM ENOUGH

by A Family Story | January 20, 2021 | Crisis of Identity, Faith, God Is Not In Control, Intimacy, Leadership, Relationship, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two, The Fathers Love | 8 Comments

With humor and authenticity, Lloyd talks about the finished work of the Cross, how Jesus fixed the problem of separation, and our invitation to awaken to our union.

Read More JAMIE & DONNA WINSHIP / OUR TRUE IDENTITY

by A Family Story | February 16, 2022 | Faith, Interview, Life, Prayer, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season three, The Fathers Love | 1 Comment

How to experience God, confession, faith, fear, freedom, our true identity, and cruciform, others-focused, self-emptying unconditional love barely scratches the surface of this packed conversation on the goodness of God. Jamie and Donna Winship share how we can discover our true identity through a relationship with God and each other.

Read More THOMAS JAY OORD / OPEN & RELATIONAL THEOLOGY

by A Family Story | March 29, 2022 | Crisis of Identity, Faith, God Is Not In Control, Hell, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season three, Sin, The Fathers Love | 2 Comments

Thomas Jay Oord shares about open relational theology; how it connects with the way we live and matches our deepest intuitions. The guys talked about a relational God who is genuinely loving, looks like Jesus, and walks through each day with us, impacting and impacted by our friendship.

Thomas describes an uncontrolling, loving God, that harmonizes with scripture. In this podcast, he dives into the subjects of hell, prayer, and evangelism all through the lens of open relational theology.

The post ROBIN SMIT / IT IS FINISHED appeared first on A Family Story.

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Published on February 01, 2023 09:49

I Have Never Called You Servants… / He Liked The Juice!

I Never Called You Servants... He Liked The Juice

A Passion Translation“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” Those are the NIV-translated words of Jesus found in John 15:15.

But the Brian Simmons Passion Translation of that verse is my favorite, and I think it’s infinitely more accurate—not based on my academic prowess but on what I know about love.

It reads, “I have never called you ‘servants’… But I call you my most intimate friends….”

He Liked The Juice

For a long time, my son, Ethan Wilde, yes, we named him Wilde, was only aware of one fruit of the Spirit, self-control. That’s because when he was between the ages of 7 and 13, I preached it with a fervor Billy Graham would envy.

My son started out like the rest of us—brilliant and immature, a professional mistake-maker. And there were a few years when Karen and I wondered if he would ever know the freedom self-control afforded.

During those years, if Ethan was hungry, he ate the chips—all of them. Sometimes he ate all of them even when he wasn’t hungry. If he thought math was stupid, he found the answer key online and passed fourth grade with flying colors. If he wasn’t tired, he approached bedtime as a suggestion. And when it came to juice, God help us!

We’re a juice family, but I never got any during those years. Yeah, Karen bought juice and even put it in the fridge. But what happened after that resembled a magic show, because if you turned around—voila! It was gone—or worse.

What’s worse? Try opening the refrigerator and thinking excitedly, “Hey, juice!” only to lift the container and discover just a swallow remains. What kinda monster leaves a swallow? A swallow of juice is like decaffeinated coffee—why bother? A swallow of juice is the kinda thing that causes parents to fondly reminisce about the days before kids—except it wasn’t the kids that drank all but a swallow of juice, it was that kid—Ethan, always Ethan!

So, I made a rule—a law, a commandment—for my son, to wit: “Thou shalt only have one glass of juice a day. Just one glass! I’m serious! Son, look at me. I mean it.”

This led to a cleverness that’s hilarious—now. You see, the first rule didn’t fix the problem; there was still no juice in the house. “Maybe it’s the girls,” I briefly wondered until the day I watched Ethan pouring juice into the 32-ounce plastic Buffalo Bills cup we used to water the plants.

That led to a second rule, a subset of the original commandment. “This glass,” I pronounced, grabbing a medium-sized glass from the cupboard.

A couple of days later, I walked into the kitchen just in time to see my curly-brown-haired boy, glass on the counter, mouth on the glass, as he poured the juice into it. He was slurping the overflow!

“Are you kidding?” I thought, annoyed, impressed, and exhausted.

If you’re a parent with littles, you are likely laughing and crying, because you also have a clever, rule-bending, wild kid; and you, too, are juice deprived.

During this parenting season, I knew a mom who told her kids, “I’ve put two juices in the fridge, and I peed in one of them.” I don’t know if it worked for her, but in my house, Ethan would have risked it.

So, for years, Ethan and I had deep conversations about self-control, generosity, obedience, and the nature of trust and freedom.

“Son, my goal isn’t to micromanage your juice usage. I got other things to do with my life. My goal is that you would get a hold of my heart for a juice culture of generosity so that you can live in the freedom of self-control and everybody in the house can have juice!”

“Son, why does a car have brakes?” I’d occasionally ask during a juice course correction conversation. “So it can go fast,” he’d respond with enthusiasm.

“Exactly!”

As parents of littles, our desire wasn’t to control our kids; it was that they would mature in love and grow in self-control. We wanted our kids to have full access to our love and affection so they could have full access to freedom in every stage of life—so they can go fast!

Our goal as parents is mutual trust, and to mature in friendship. Therefore, our highest pursuit wasn’t obedience. Rather, it was heart-to-heart communion, knowing, connection. Obedience was simply a road we traveled together as a family—as friends—maturing in love.

When our kids were young, and, therefore, immature, obedience was a huge part of our friendship. And on the days when Karen and I were most like our heavenly Father, there was nothing transactional about it. By that, I mean, obedience wasn’t about changing behavior; it was an opportunity to grow in mutual trust.

Karen and I endeavored to create a family culture that protected trust. In that culturally safe place, obedience was an opportunity for our kids to discover and develop our values—our heart for the whole family. Obedience was a way our kids could mature in greater love and the fruits thereof—one of those fruits being the freedom of self-control.

On the days when we were most like our heavenly Father, we didn’t want to control Ethan; we wanted Ethan to control himself. We wanted our son to be empowered to go to the fridge, assess how much juice there was, take into account the four other people who lived in the house, and make a decision that was about love and generosity and going fast! For us, this would have been like heaven had come to earth.

In a family culture where self-giving love is the foundation, obedience becomes an expression of humility, generosity, and freedom. Karen and I have learned that where there’s a heart-to-heart connection, obedience is a natural response, the evidence of a maturing friendship. Conversely, where there is no heart-to-heart connection, obedience becomes transactional, and slaving, or rebelling, is the fruit.

“I have never called you ‘servants’… But I call you my most intimate friends….” 1

We never called our kids servants. That’s the point I’m trying to make. Our kids have always been our most intimate friends.

You see, if you teach children to obey and serve outside of heart-to-heart connection, they will become servants who don’t know friendship. And that’s the last thing Karen and I want for our kids! Those servants end up slaving like the prodigal outside of family, or the older brother outside of reconciliation.

Karen and I weren’t interested in raising slaving servants, “because a servant does not know his master’s business….” Instead, we endeavored to raise friends because, well, they get access to “everything that (we have) learned from (our) Father….”

You know, my kids have never once called me, master. They have always called me, dad.

You know, Jesus never once called His Father, Master. He always called Him, Dad.

Jesus was the greatest servant of all but never left sonship to serve. He never rebelled or slaved for a Master, because He had a heart-to-heart connection with a good Father—they were best friends. Jesus never lived desperate, because He knew the confident freedom of sonship. He never lived insecure, because He knew the eternal life of a greater love friendship.

Jesus redefined obedience in the relational trust of family and friendship. He revealed that serving had nothing to do with the transactional hierarchy between masters and slaves.

(1) 1 John 15:15

This article is excerpted from my book, Leaving and Finding Jesus
Order Now At AMAZON.COM

ORDER NOW!

Jason Clark is a bestselling storyteller who writes to reveal the transforming kindness of the love of God. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children, Madeleine, Ethan, and Eva. Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow JOIN OUR MAILING LIST GIVE TO A FAMILY STORY YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE… Why Can’t I Trust God’s Love?

by Jason Clark | February 12, 2020 | Articles, Faith, Life, Popular, The Fathers Love | 2 Comments

If our theology is grounded in the idea that our good God is in control, then why does He allow evil, suffering and bad things?

Read More LLOYD CLARK / I AM ENOUGH

by A Family Story | January 20, 2021 | Crisis of Identity, Faith, God Is Not In Control, Intimacy, Leadership, Relationship, Rethinking God Podcast, Rethinking God with Tacos / Season Two, The Fathers Love | 8 Comments

With humor and authenticity, Lloyd talks about the finished work of the Cross, how Jesus fixed the problem of separation, and our invitation to awaken to our union.

Read More The Earth Was Never Flat : The Devastation of Sovereign Control

by Jason Clark | May 1, 2017 | Articles, Books, Faith, God Is Not In Control, Intimacy, Leadership | 0 Comments

I would like to suggest that sovereign control is flat earth thinking, it’s an institution unto itself, a broken paradigm, a ruler by which so many have measured everything since the fall of Adam. This devastating narrative has dominated humanities thoughts and perceptions for far too long!