Daley Downing's Blog, page 36

Why I’m Minimizing My Online Presence

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No, I’m not announcing a hiatus or something like that. By this title, I’m strictly discussing my choice not to use certain types of social media and how much energy I expend on particular sorts of networking.

And there are very good reasons for this.

I am not starting an account on Instagram, Wattpad, Tumblr, or any additional websites on which I do not already exist in some capacity. There are simply not enough hours in the day, sir, ma’am, to throw more into my current schedule, shake it up, and hope that the result is not a hot mess of epic proportions.

While I am aware of the possible benefits to my advertising and marketing that expanding my social media platforms might produce, I am also painfully aware that doing so would require more effort and brainpower on my part. I am not a robot, I cannot come up with amazing content every single day. Hence I don’t want to put myself under that sort of pressure.

Not having my head explode is a bit more important than learning to use my son’s camera or push people to stalk websites hunting down my account.

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I’m not going to fret over the number of Tweets I post per week, how many Facebook things I liked last month, or panic because it’s been 23 minutes since my Goodreads update and no one seems to have noticed. Not freaking out over the fact that you’re not the next internet celebrity is important to maintaining a good self-image. Just because we don’t have 1500 subscribers does not mean we aren’t valuable or worthwhile beings that have beautiful contributions to make to the world.

In some ways, numbers matter. Like, when it comes to book sales. It matters at least a little. Especially when you’re trying to make money. #thestruggleisreal  But it truly is not the end of everything if you never make the NYTimes Bestseller List.

Building a community of readers, supporters, and minions makes life as a self-published author a lot easier. Though we need to keep the crux of the biscuit in main focus as we create our masterpieces — that our sales total cannot qualify the emotional effect our writing may have had on our fans. #drinkingthetearsofmyreaders

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Speaking of writing — I need to concentrate on that more than being on the internet. This is something that all indie authors have issues with: We’re honestly trying to make our word count or page goal for that day. We hit a slight wall (maybe it’s constructed of tin foil?), and decide to take a break. 10 minutes to check our notifications, we firmly proclaim. 35 minutes later…and we’re still on Pinterest.

Sometimes this is all right. Seriously, no one can work ALL the time. However, if this becomes a habit, then it turns bad. Eventually we’ll fall behind on our weekly plans, then we end up pushing back a whole project, and then we’re setting a precedent that could snowball into unfinished works, ignoring deadlines, and just turning our back on something we may regret not finishing.

Anyway, although I am honestly smacking the tin foil wall right now when it comes to completing Volume 2, I am not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself for an indeterminate amount of time. I’m developing a set deadline for being done with the revisions and moving on to the edits, and then to starting a new project.

Because, remember, I have a fear of dying without having written all of my series.

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Unfortunately, there is a lot of negativity around online, and too much of it in my personal space stresses me out. Luckily, I haven’t been the direct target of true nastiness. But some of us have, and we know how ugly it can get. And it makes us want to run and hide (and yes, we are adults). It reminds me of the whole reason I use a pen name and don’t tell anyone exactly where I’m from and indicate that I am actually a Warriors cat in disguise.

Even when I’m not the target, it worries me to see how terrible people can be with each other — when one of the great things about the internet is the chance to connect with one another. Connect, folks, not attack. Aren’t we supposed to be growing in tolerance and awareness? Hint: Yes, we are.

Anyway, I’m trying to avoid unnecessary stressors in my life, and this falls under that.

In short: I have enough on my plate. I should finish my current works in progress. I don’t accept that the haters are gonna hate, and I’d like to be nowhere near it.

Here’s to achieving at least some of this.

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How to Write Your Book Like a Movie

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No, not literally like a movie — sorry, guys, if you want screenplay/script writing advice, this isn’t that post.

I mean: When you write your novel, it really helps to have ongoing visuals happening simultaneously in your mind’s eye. Description is important — but it’s also important to descript in a way that doesn’t overwhelm your readers.

As not just a writer but a reader myself, I’ve come across more than my fair share of novels that simply felt far too wordy. And as a writer, I try really hard to avoid typical problems that readers moan over.

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One of those is 17 paragraphs in a row that use 9-syllable adjectives to sum up: “The marketplace sat in the middle of the town square, lit by gas-fueled streetlights and filled with vendors selling baked goods and weapons.”

A method I employ to hopefully set the scene without releasing a plague of purple prose is imagining each chapter in my novel as the film version. I think about what the characters are doing (body language, facial expressions, physical actions), the tone of their voices, what they’re wearing (even if I don’t mention it in the text), what building/room/outside setting they’re in, how that looks (again, not necessarily telling the reader every tiny detail).

This really helps engage my effort and passion for the story. Writing is work, whether we want to admit it or not. And if we want others to read it and enjoy it (not simply to pay us, either), we should do our best to ensure our product is realistic.

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When you watch a movie, all the relevant information is straight there on the screen. The directors make sure that you get a sense of what’s happening in that moment by including not just the major stuff (like trees if the characters are in a forest), but little touches (like a child’s drawings on the refrigerator door of a grandmother’s kitchen).

Thinking about stuff like that when you’re writing can add a great deal to your story.

Remember, though, going overboard isn’t great. Finding the balance is key.

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Here’s an actual example from Masters and Beginners: “It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. It was a pleasant late summer’s evening, shortly after sunset, the sky a rich navy

blue, stars beginning to twinkle in the distance. In a pleasant subdivision, residents were settling in for the night. In a tent pitched on one of the well-mowed lawns was a group of

four teenage girls, in their pajamas and sleeping bags, currently finding out who could come up with the scariest scary story.”

I don’t need to go into which day of the week it is, exactly what hour and minute, the color of each girl’s pajamas, and the average square footage of the houses in the subdivision.

However, if I had only written, “There was a tent in a backyard and 4 girls were having a sleepover,” it might not be enough to give the reader a proper idea of what’s going on.

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Good movies rely on the “show don’t tell” guideline of entertainment. I don’t mean never revealing the vital plot points directly to the audience. But revealing small clues through the discreet look one character gives another, a letter that someone reads but doesn’t put in front of the camera, the shot that pans around to the vase that was supposedly broken after the owner has left the room. You get the idea.

This is an excellent tip for writers of any medium. Personally, I love it. And I love reading novels that use it, too.

Hope this helps some of you struggling with description and balance. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

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One Reader’s Confessions

(These are being divulged in the secret hope that others will agree with me.)

I judge books by their covers. This is totally unfair, because a less-than-visually-stunning cover does not, for an instant, mean the story inside is underwhelming. Yet I don’t hesitate to put right back on the shelf a novel whose cover doesn’t make me want to run off to the Scottish Highlands with it.

There is no guilt about not finishing books. Even if it’s a selection that no less than 56 bloggers I know and 43 Goodreads acquaintances have recommended. If it’s simply not for me, I’ll let it go with a wave of good wishes and not a moment of regret.

If I really didn’t enjoy a book all my friends love, I won’t post a negative review of it. I don’t want people I care about to be aware of my disappointment and in turn be disappointed themselves. That would make my insides wibble-wobble.

Rarely, if ever, do I give authors a second chance. There are exceptions to this. But generally, if reading so-and-so’s work transformed me into a koala of temporary sadness/frustration, then I won’t attempt another title by them.

Diversity fiction is not necessarily my thing. Do I appreciate movements like “own voices” and encourage diversity in writing? Completely. But depending on the specific novel, I’m pretty likely to give it a pass. Maybe it’s because I don’t have much tolerance for things like sexism/disability prejudice/religious elitism in certain cultures (and honestly, very little interest in developing this). And, quite frankly, I don’t like characters who are fixated on forcing their race/ethnicity down the readers’ throats.

Have I read diverse fiction? Of course. Have I found some great examples of it? Yes, indeed.

Do I get tired of trying to avoid the soapboxes? Yeah…

I won’t read negative reviews of books I love. Actually, probably a lot of you do this? Why spoil it for yourself, right?

I hold to a Judeo-Christian belief system, but don’t recommend Christian literature. Not entirely; I’ve gotten a lot out of non-fiction by Max Lucado and Joyce Meyer, and honestly enjoyed some Ted Dekker. But I find too much of the “Christian” market to be problematic in many ways.

Impulse library requesting is totally a thing. And this occasionally gets me into trouble. Like when several holds come in at once (you try lugging 8 or more hardbacks three-quarters of a mile, including up a hill, on foot, in the rain, without getting a little grumpy). And then I only have a maximum of 6 weeks (with renewals) to read them all.

In order to finish a long book faster, I’ll skip some parts. For example, about 75 pages from the end of The Raven King, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and cut to the last chapter to find out if Gansey survived. (In my defense, after I learned the answer, I did go back and catch up on what I missed.)

Page count totals more than 400 pages? It and I shall never meet. Again, yes, there are exceptions, though they’re few and far between. Does this mean I may be missing out on some really great stories? Yupper. Do I mind that much? Not at all. Bring on the movie version. Sorry, folks, but I simply don’t have the time to sit down and slog through 650 pages of any (even an amazing) novel.

I’ve given up on classics. Not because all the classics are terrible. A Tale of Two Cities and The Scarlet Pimpernel have a permanent spot on my list of recommendations. It’s mostly the time issue; also, it’s a matter of personal taste. Too many classics either frustrate or bore the living daylights out of me.

Please, please, please don’t make me read anything that isn’t speculative fiction. This covers fantasy, sci-fi, sometimes dystopia, and even steampunk. See, that’s plenty of options! So I’m abandoning romance, mysteries, thrillers, most historical fiction, and even biographies — trust me, that still leaves me more than enough choices. And these are the genres I love — what’s the point in depriving me of that?

 

Being a Book Blogger is Harder Than it Looks

Yes, it really is. Having a book blog isn’t simply read a book, write a review, find some cute gifs, post it and make sure the link uploads to your social media. It is actually much more complicated than that.

Deciding which book to review can be impossible. If you read a lot — which most of us bookdragons do — you won’t have only one finished selection to choose at the end of the week. Plus, there’s absolutely no rule that says the next review you write has to be of something you just read. We’d also like to discuss childhood favorites, assigned classics, and movie novelizations. Unless there’s an ARC that you know you should post soon (because the release date was May 31st and it’s presently June 4th), the best way may just be to flip a coin or throw a dart at a printout of a bookstore flyer.

Let’s talk about ARCs for a minute. They are not all they’re cracked up to be. Yes, it is exciting when you get to be one of the first people to read a new release you’re really excited for. (I do enjoy this part myself.) However, there are also some downsides to ARCs that I think are worth discussing.

They’re time-consuming. It can be difficult to read on a deadline. What if your schedule gets turned upside down and finishing the ARC prior to its sale date just isn’t a possibility?

They may be disappointing. Those bloggers who have been getting ARCs for a couple years now will tell you that just because a book is an advanced reader does not mean it will be the most amazing literary thing ever.

You can feel like you’re reading out of pure obligation, rather than for enjoyment. I know some bloggers have in fact decided to stop requesting ARCs, because it was dampening their experiences too much.

Striking the right tone is key, and not automatic. Hands up — who here has typed a paragraph of a post, deleted it, repeated this process, and again…and considered throwing yourself off the top of your bookshelves. It is hard to keep producing content that’s interesting, engaging, humorous, insightful, and doesn’t cover the same 14 books over and over.

What happens if your TBR has done away with itself? This actually happened to me. About 8 months ago, I had a TBR that I anticipated would take me the whole year to complete. How wrong could I have been. I finished it somewhere around 6 weeks ago, and am struggling to build up the next. What am I going to blog about?! I feel like screaming from the rooftops.

You hit a reading/posting slump. Your usual genres have become mehhhh. Your favorite authors have swanned off to Costa Rica for a 700-day hiatus. You don’t feel like posting on that fashion magazine you devoured at the doctor’s office out of sad desperation. Send. Help.

Blogging takes more time than a TARDIS can provide. Oh, the number of instances in which I have begged for a time machine to add 5 hours to my day. After you’ve created the post, searched for images, added said images, re-thought some of the text, edited, changed some of those images, and double checked your facts on book details, you are effectively dead, and only have about 45 minutes in which to clean your house, cook dinner, feed the cat, give the kids a bath, and turn in overdue library DVDs.

Sometimes getting that post up is Mission Impossible. You’re halfway through writing your review, and the kids have devastated the couch. The cat just couldn’t keep that hairball in any longer. Your family informs you the inside of the fridge resembles an uninhabited cave.

Or you realize you just don’t know what to say about that book.

Mixed feelings do not for a comprehensive post make. Haven’t we all finished a novel or biography and just thought, “Well…wow. Huh?!” There were parts of the story you liked, and others that made about as much sense as a peregrine falcon becoming a ballerina, so your overall impression can be summed up this way: !@$#%^&*?! But your subscribers would really prefer: “I liked the character growth between Samuel and Bonita in the early chapters, but once Bonita decided to run away to Hong Kong to raise minature pandas, I felt the forward momentum was lost.”

And there are days when you just cannot form those words.

The Re-release Is Now A Thing!

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Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

(Yes, this was my actual response. White Fang was not amused.)

I put this on Twitter and Goodreads right away (though I am still waiting for Goodreads to approve me wanting to make changes to Volume 1’s page). But this second edition — new cover, with blurb on the back, but all the same story — is now alive and well through Nook Press.

If you go to this link: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/masters-and-beginners-daley-downing/1126998956?ean=9781538033111 , you should be able to find instructions on how to obtain your copy!

If you already purchased a first edition from me, here are some things to note: 

As far as content goes, the only thing that’s changed is the cover. Nothing different with the story. (I know this is a concern for some readers of self-published works.)

If you would like to acquire this second edition, I’ve set the price at a very reasonable $7.95. Even with Barnes and Noble charging shipping, it should still come to about the same or less than the $15 I charge. (And B&N can take all sorts of credit and debit cards, and will send you a fancy receipt and professional packaging. #thechallengesofbeinganindieauthor)

I do still have copies available with the Toby cover. If you would like one of those, please contact me! (Check the sidebar and top menu of my homepage.)

Since this is a re-release, there will be no “ARCs” as such. But there will be a giveaway on this blog coming up in the near future.

And of course I am so tremendously grateful for all your help and support so far!!! Here’s to continued success and sharing the love!

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The Fear of Missing Out: The Bookdragon Edition

“The Fear Of Missing Out” is apparently a real thing. Nah, come on! Don’t we have more self-esteem than that?! Who cares if we haven’t heard of this band, or that actor, missed that TV show, skipped this movie, didn’t read that book…

Er, hang on a minute there.

Here are some very valid things bookdragons are concerned with when it comes to being afraid of missing bookish stuff:

All your friends loved this novel/series, but you just can’t get into it. Yes, it is totally okay to have a different opinion, even from the people you’re close to. But when you seem to be the only person in your life that doesn’t appreciate a certain trilogy or author, it can be a bit…almost lonely.

You come across titles written by your favorite author(s) that you had no idea existed. This can come as a real shock to the senses. How can you even claim to be a fan? How is it possible that this knowledge escaped your attention? And how quickly can you catch up?

There’s a genre that you try and try and it just doesn’t mesh with you, and it’s on fire right now, so it’s taking over all the sales this year. That makes it more complicated for those of us who would like to find new titles not belonging to this genre of the moment. I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to spend my meager book budget on releases that will simply test my patience and make me have buyers’ remorse.

You can’t afford merchandise based on your favorite series. Honestly, I don’t have to own throw pillows and tote bags and coffee mugs emblazoned with characters and dialog quotes and cover logos for every single novel I’ve ever enjoyed. But sometimes it would be nice to have just one or two.

It’s really hard when you don’t like a book you were really, really hoping to like. Okay, compared to losing a job or finding out your car is totaled after that minor accident, it’s not that hard. But when you have a lot of emotional energy invested in a project — yes, even reading a novel — and it doesn’t pan out the way you had anticipated… Well, when you’re someone who thinks and analyzes and introspects a fair amount (hands up out there — be brave, only I can see you, I promise), this can be a big deal. (Trust me, it’s a big deal.)

Re-reading an old favorite can lead to the discovery that you no longer like it. This has actually happened to me in recent months. It was devastating. (You hush, yes, it was.) Now I don’t know what to do with those selections, their space on my shelves, how I might feel later if I actually got rid of them… The dilemma ensues.

Sometimes publishers consider it necessary to release immediate sequels in a different size to the original, or to change the covers from country to country. This is very frustrating when you’re trying to get all the titles in a series to match because the universe will end if you do not. Or when you actually like the covers for a foreign nation better than the ones available in your own home town. Is it just me, or do we all agree that publishers need to take fans’ feelings more into account? Grrr…

Occasionally, an author that you love decides to write something that you just cannot stomach. Believe me, this is heartbreaking. Yeah, there are other types of tragedies in the world, like losing your phone or forgetting that coupon for Bath and Body Works until after you’ve left the mall. When you feel betrayed by one of your previously favorite authors, though, this ranks right up there.

(Has anybody seen the episode of “Spaced” where Simon Pegg burns all his Star Wars stuff after The Phantom Menace comes out? It’s like that.)

 

Someone Please Tell Me I’m Not Really That Old

As was previously mentioned on this blog, I had a birthday in August. Okay, I have a birthday every August, let’s not get picky about it. After this momentous occasion, I decided it was time to stop thinking about my age.

Literally, not even to remind myself how old I am. Quite seriously. My husband started to ask how old I am now, and I cut him off. No numbers talk around here!

It’s not just because I don’t like the thought of what happens in the latter years of one’s life — health concerns, cosmetic issues, possible loss of faculties as you realize your teenage son just used a slang phrase you’ve never heard of.

It has to do with the feeling of not having accomplished enough. Not having the time left to do so. Not knowing what to do with this sense of impending doom.

All right, maybe not doom. All things come to an end. I’m not so concerned about that part.

I’m more concerned with how I spent my time while I was here.

Part of me (rather selfishly, I’ll admit) wonders about my writing. What if I die before I finish writing all the books I have planned? A long time ago, I made peace with the fact that I will never read all the publications I potentially could, and honestly this does not bother me. But when it comes to my own work…well, now…

And also, what about my blog? If I one day consciously decide to stop blogging and physically follow that through, then it will be what I deemed a necessary and beneficial choice. But that’s totally different to being forced to stop before I’m ready.

Earlier this week (just in case you were hiding under a rock), a total solar eclipse happened. Most people equated viewing it to a spiritual experience. I, on the other hand, cowered in my house, sweating and praying, until it was over.

(I did go outside to look at it once. Only because my husband made me. And, yes, we did have the special glasses.)

Anyway, for some reason, the whole event gave me a sense of…insignificance, and fear.

There are still so many things I have not done with my life. Certain places I haven’t traveled to, that I really, really want to see. People I want to meet (yes, the autistic moth said that).

I can’t figure out what to do with unfinished/maybe finished/could be more?? writing projects. I have no idea if I want to start a Tumblr or Flickr or Wattpad account. I haven’t even chosen a subscription box yet!!

There are too many flavors of smoothie I want to try. Breeds of cat I want to own. Types of clothing I want to wear. (Hey, when you have sensory issues, this is a big deal.)

You know this “Fear Of Missing Out” that apparently was created by the internet, but that psychologists are telling us is a real thing? I don’t have that, but I used to when I was younger. I scoured the libraries and stores for books/music/movies/TV that “everyone” had experienced, so I wouldn’t be left behind.

Spoiler alert: Mission remains incomplete.

And I’ve figured out that doesn’t make me freakishly wrong.

Trust me, that’s a win.

Getting back on point — Now that I have a pretty good grasp on myself, some things I really want are important.

Some stuff I’d hoped to achieve I have. I earned a college degree. (And, no, I don’t give a damn that it’s “just” an Associates. It’s a degree, I worked my butt off and made Dean’s List and even Phi Theta Kappa. So it’s real.)

I lived in England. I’m a parent. I’m a published author.

Now I just need that private jet and the retreat in New Zealand and the pig from Moana. And a dance studio.

And to choose a subscription box.

August Recap: Life Events and An Announcement

So, we are not completely at the end of the month, but in my opinion it is close enough to post the August recap. (Translation: If I wait until the true end of the month, I will forget too much of what happened in the past 4 weeks.)

Let’s start with some general occurences that took place in this neck of the woods (not literally, we live in the suburbs)…

Muffin had his orientation for preschool. He had so much fun he didn’t want to go home. Hopefully this bodes well for the next year or even more.

White Fang completed film camp. He was the editor-in-chief, and learned a lot of valuable software and teamwork skills.

We had company. Which was a big deal because, due to living in a house sans enough space, this does not happen very often. Plus the visitors were two of my most favorite people in the world, so it was all-around exciting.

In reading:

I finished a few indie titles, and posted reviews on Goodreads. I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of The Tomb of the Sea Witch by Kyle R. Shultz, as well as Alexis P. Johnson’s Chivalry’s Children, and I recently finished A Matter of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance. Since I’m currently bingeing on self-published authors, expect to see more GR action on that front in the near future.

In writing:

There has been a disgusting lack of this lately. Or maybe I just needed a break? I did complete a manuscript of Volume 2 as it stands (Mach 3.5 or something), and submitted it to my beta-readers. This was a terrifying but wise decision. I was becoming too blinded by what I saw as the flaws, so getting some outside points of view will be extremely helpful.

Also I selected a new cover design for the re-launch of Volume 1 (happening very soon! *watch this space*), and chose covers for what will be the companion novel to the series (probably a prequel, ’cause I just can’t help myself), and the “field guide” (a sort of mashup of a manual and more backstory on certain characters).

By the way, that’s the announcement — the re-launch of Masters and Beginners (through an online distributor) shall indeed be occurring forsooth! More on that quite soon, I’m sure!

In entertainment:

The Atlantic Craft released a new Minecraft music video (“Save Our Crown”) that literally brought me to tears. Dammit, guys. Good job.

White Fang and I stumbled on an amazingly-great-surprise movie: The Space Between Us. 

The Space Between Us is SO sweet and touching, I cannot even with all the feels. I checked the rental DVD out for myself, and about halfway in knew I had to share it with White Fang, too. (We also raved about it to our company.) I haven’t been that impressed with a contemporary YA romance in about forever. Highly recommended.

In random things:

I’ve realized I still don’t like kale, hip-hop, or Star Wars (sorry, fans), and I want to try eggplant fries.

I turned another year older. (No more will be said about that, under pain of infinite pain.)

White Fang and I have watched a nearly obscene amount of The Big Bang Theory.

Oh, yeah, and there was a solar eclipse.

So, there we have it! (more or less — perhaps going with the less) How was your August, moths? Anything super-exciting for September coming your way?

(Note to the calendar: PLEASE SLOW DOWN. I refuse to accept that it is nearly fall of a year that I swear was still in March about yesterday.)

The Genius That is The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

It has recently come to my attention that there is a very serious problem within the book blogging community, and it is this: Not everyone has read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

This once-cult-classic is now a mainstream sci-fi classic, and successfully joined together sci-fi and comedy (which was what the author was attempting to do in the first place — in the 1970s, and you can’t tell me that wasn’t challenging).

My introduction to this series came from my previous life in England, and I have never stopped loving it since. I’ve read all of the 5 novels in the series (that “homage” by Eoin Colfer doesn’t count), listened to the old BBC radio show, watched the Hollywood movie (ehhh), and the original miniseries so many times that I still have parts of it memorized.

Above is the printing that I own (yes, it is a first edition hardcover, and I am immensely proud of it). There have been several re-releases since the initial publication, and it even lives in some libraries. So, if you haven’t read it yet, you have no excuse to keep putting it off.

The fantastic thing about THHGTTG is that you don’t have to be a big sci-fi nerd (yes, I’m going to use that word) to understand the content. You don’t have to be an expert at astrophysics, spaceships, or alien planets. Not only is most of the science stuff confined to relevant portions of the text, but it’s also easily broken down by the dual narration of aliens needing to explain everything to Arthur Dent, the human, and the Guide itself.

And there’s so much humor, wit and banter, mixed in with light-hearted philosophical discussions, and plenty of tug-on-your-heartstrings moment, too. The only thing that might trip up first-time readers is the very British language (well, Adams was a born-and-bred Englishman), and the references to culture of the 1970s.

But don’t let that stop you. Not for a minute.

It doesn’t even bother me that Adams makes subtle jabs at everything from organized religion to mega-corporations, social conformity to the fall of Imperialism. The man was entitled to his own opinions, for heaven’s sake (and personally, I feel it’s a really sad day when we can’t separate a few political disagreements from a wonderful story and just enjoy it for what it is).

(Anyway…)

And there are so many valuable nuggets ensconced in the pages of THHGTTG. Such as — You have to know where your towel is. DON’T PANIC. There is something inherently flawed about Thursdays. And most important: The meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.

Yes, 42.

The real reason was (well, according to fan legend) that it seemed like the funniest number Adams could come up with at the time.

But also — why not 42? A major part of the series is the search for the Ultimate Question (the answer is 42, but nobody really knew what the question was). And to me this just so completely reflects our modern concerns and sensibilities on this issue, in a very endearing way.

So, moths, you tell me — Have you read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Do you plan to after being (so rightly) convinced by my excellent treatise? Is there still a place in this world for light-hearted, not-too-science-y fiction mashups?

Confess Your Unpopular Opinion (The Invisible Moth Version)

Oh, this’ll be fun. (Sarcasm inserted.)

Necessary disclaimer: These are just my personal views, tastes, musings, or random brain firings. If you do happen to disagree with me, please don’t come after me with torches and pitchforks. We’re all adults here. (Teenagers included in this instance.)

There are times when I just feel the need to express an unpopular opinion. Often when I do, I discover that in fact I am not the only one who holds said perspective. And this becomes a win-win for all of us lonely outcasts.

So, here we go…

#1: I don’t like Star Wars. Hey, hey, hey, remember my disclaimer! Put those rotten tomatoes back in the compost! If you love Star Wars, good for you (absolutely no sarcasm hiding in this statement). It’s just a big flop for me. Oh, not totally — I liked it when I was a kid, and there was all the fun of the spaceships and the scary aliens and the race to defeat the evil Empire so they wouldn’t blow up more planets. And I liked Yoda (back when he was still a Muppet and not CGI). But the real failings — as I see them — of this series became crystal-clear to me as an adult, when I lived with a Star Wars fan.

Here’s the reason this movie series never fails to get on my nerves anymore:

It makes me beyond mad that the Jedi Council — the supposed good-doers, protectors of liberty, defenders of freedom — actually created the “monster” known as Darth Vader through their own petty actions. If Anakin Skywalker had just been allowed to make his marriage to Queen Padme public knowledge, then he wouldn’t have been going crazy trying to keep it secret while hoping to find a way to save her from dying, per the vision he had. The Jedi themselves could have tried to help Anakin, and he wouldn’t have felt the need to go to the Emperor. Then Darth Vader never would’ve come to be, Luke and Leia would’ve been raised by their real parents, and the Empire would’ve been defeated a lot sooner.

When my family watched Rogue One, I honestly fell asleep, and woke up just in time to see Darth Vader kicking major behind with his red light saber. You go, Anakin, kill ’em all.

Ahem. Moving on…

#2: I didn’t like the way The Hunger Games ended. I am not a fan of dystopia. Against my better judgement, I gave in to peer pressure to read The Hunger Games. Book 1 sucked me right in, and I committed to finishing the trilogy. This nearly killed me. I was Team Gale all the way, and I will never forgive Katniss for ditching him. I also thought it was just ridiculous that Katniss — who had most of the Capitol’s head games figured out early on — couldn’t get a clue that Alma Coin was completely using her, and just knock that horrible woman off much earlier. And Prim dies ANYWAY — come on, Suzanne Collins, but you just invalidated the entire premise of your series!!! That did not go over well with me.

#3: I don’t mind the way Allegiant ended. I’m fully aware that to this day there are people sobbing into their Faction t-shirts because of Tris Prior’s demise. But I one-hundred-percent stand by Veronica Roth determining that was necessary for her story. I certainly don’t think her actions meant death threats to her email were required, folks. If you didn’t like the ending of the trilogy, just don’t re-read it and move on to other authors.

#4: Superhero movies need to take a break for a while. Like approximately 17 years. Again, truly no offense meant to comic book fans who are gushing over some of their fictional idols finally coming to the silver screen. But, as someone who was never part of all that (although I have intense respect for Stan Lee), I’m getting a little…bored with all the superhero films. I’d just really like to see something different in the cinemas.

#5: Radio stations need to play not-as-popular songs. There are lots of bands that produced much more content in their studio recordings than the one single everybody knows. Given that I don’t have access to Pandora or ITunes, what I can listen to is often limited to YouTube and my local radio broadcasts. Considering that I am terrible anymore with remembering the titles of songs/names of artists, that creates issues with searching on YouTube. And my regional radio stations are in general very mainstream and same old, same old, unfortunately.

#6: Please, please, lay off the fairytale re-tellings for a bit. Oh, come on, blow out that torch and return your pitchfork to the garden. There are now so many versions of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and Snow White in our culture that I’m simply tired of it. Why can’t we read more adaptations of Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood, The Billy Goats Gruff, Puss in Boots, The Princess and the Frog? Or go in a totally unexpected direction, like the Beaumont and Beasley series does, by turning the traditional tales upside down?

#7: While we’re at it, let’s give Sherlock Holmes and Alice in Wonderland a rest, too. Both of these classics are so beloved that modern variations are literally exploding in our culture, and that makes me weary of them. (Actually, can we add vampires, werewolves, and zombies to this, too?)

#8: Musicals are unrealistic and dull. Back off now, Hamilton fans (don’t make me sic my cat on you). There is something about being in a theatre and watching a full-flung spectacle of acting/music/lighting effects, that transports you to a fictional place, and it doesn’t bother you that people wouldn’t really break into song just after proposing, or admitting they were a drug addict. But when I try to watch movies of musicals, I just can’t do it. The pragmatic flaws get to me too much.

#9: Gel pens are overrated. While this may seem like a small thing to most of the world, I have very tight muscles in most of my body from anxiety, and trying to write with gel pens is too hard. Most of the time, the ink doesn’t flow well, and that means I have to press more, which leads to more tensing of muscles, and the problem is not fixed. (Ballpoints are definitely out of the realm of possibility these days.) I’ve had to switch to exclusively writing my long-hand drafts with rollerballs (which for some reason are generally more expensive and less available than gel pens).

#10: Kale is disgusting. True, I’ve only tried kale twice, but both times it was so salty and/or so bland that it just made me gag. I know kale is one of the new “super foods,” but it can just go and be super somewhere other than my kitchen.