C.E. Clayton's Blog, page 6

Character Interview: Rosslyn

Hey there, you lovely booknerds! So I participated in a fun little exercise with another author, who's books I will be reviewing and featuring once I read them (hopefully soon). But, in the meantime, he featured a character interview with Rosslyn on his site and in his newsletter! You can check it out here, or just peruse his site as he has a lot of sci-fi and horror books you may find interesting. BUT! I didn't want any of you to miss out on the interview, either. And don't worry, the interview is spoiler free just in case you haven't read any of the books yet (though I'd love it if you did). So here it is! Enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think. Does this interview change your opinion of Rosslyn if you've read the books? And if not, does it make you interested to find out more (I hope it does)?
Hi readers! Today we’re talking to Rosslyn, best friend to Tallis, who is one of the main characters in “The Monster of Selkirk”! Rosslyn, if you wouldn’t mind, can you introduce yourself to people who don’t know you?
 
That’s a bit weird, isn’t it? Introducing myself… Well, I’m Rosslyn, or Roz, or Rozy to my friends. I live in Kincardine with my mum and pop and my little brother. My mum cooks in the baron’s big house, and my pop’s a proper laborer, and occasional muscle for the taverns when they want a big bloke outside to scare away the no-good piss-artists. Sometimes I go with my pop to work, but most the time I’m with Tallis, getting into trouble.
 
Sounds like Kincardine’s a lively place—
 
Oi now, I wouldn’t call it lively. Not like I’d visit the place if I didn’t live there. Kincardine’s a little village beholden to a bigger city. It’s a place for poor sods with barely more than two coppers to rub together. You don’t have that, well, then things can turn from bad to worse right quick. It’s why things like the Bride Block are so popular. You sell a daughter to the highest bidder and get a bit of coin in order to survive.
 
No, lively isn’t how I’d describe Kincardine. But it’s a decent place if you want to be left alone, forgotten, or ignored by the king and queen. But it’s a muddy piss-hole if you’re hoping to build a life for yourself. That’s why Tallis hates it so much.
 
I see… Ok, well, in that case, tell us more about your friends.
 
Well, there’s really just Tallis. I have acquaintances that’re good for one of two things: a good drink or good lay. But Tallis is different. She’s a right proper friend. Always up to try and scam a couple coppers out of the nobs that have too much to begin with, or the sods who won’t know it’s gone. Tallis is always there for you in a pinch, no questions asked.
 
Funny thing is, first time we met I tried to rob her. Didn’t turn out all that well. Now we’re inseparable. I’m sure that cousin of hers, Donovan, would wish it were otherwise, and Tomas wishes he were as close to Tallis as I am, but that’s tough shite for those two. Donovan is a bit too righteous for my tastes, but he’s grand if you need a big man to wield a big sword on your behalf. And Tomas, well, Tomas is too good for the likes of us, but don’t tell him I said that. He’s too smart and kind for a poor place like Kincardine. Reckon he’s too good for most places in Selkirk, but that boy won’t go anywhere without Tallis, so there’s that.
Well, Tallis sounds like a true friend, if nothing else. Where do you two like to spend time together, and why?
 
Oi, that’s easy: The Lonely Tavern. Selene has this potent ale she makes there out back. It’ll knock you flat on your arse if you’re not careful. Tallis can’t hold her liquor, so it’s always a sight when she’s had a spot too much. Which usually happens once she’s done dancing for the blokes who stop by. Plus, Selene’s a great lady. She does all she can to help the poor girls in town with no better—or other—options, and you’ve got to respect that. She gave Tallis a job when no one else would, after all.
 
You mentioned you were here with your family. Care to tell us more about them?
 
Well, there’s my mum, Akira, and my pop, Tyree, and my little brother Loren. We all live together. My brother Munro is back with our old clan and his… sweetheart. But it’s fine! I can take care of Loren fine by myself. He needs a lot of tending to. It’s why my pop isn’t as steadily employed as my mum, someone needs to stay with Loren at all times. When they’re both busy, I look after him. I’ll always be there to protect him.
 
You care about Loren a great deal, which is sweet, but what happened to him?
 
He, uh, he had an accident. We had this run in with a tremp—I mean, one of them feral elves. Anyway, physically, he’s fine. Cutest little boy you ever did see. But his mind… his mind’s just not there. He can’t feed himself or wash himself properly. Doesn’t speak, either. But he remembers faces. He knows his family. He’s glad to have us around.
 
A feral elf? How scary! What did you do?
 
Yes, well, I didn’t really do anything. You never need to do anything when those nasty beasts are involved. We were out in the forest and the vile creature surprised us, tried to snatch Loren up and do Wodan knows what to him…. Oi, does it matter? The tremp didn’t take him and the damage’s been done and can’t be undone. Leave it at that.
 
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. But feral elves… it must be tricky living with a threat like that. Especially as you came from the clans, without the protection of even a poor town like Kincardine. What was that like?
 
The tremps are bloody awful! What were you expecting? Some noble being who plays a lute with a pair of big ears? Ha! They do have the pointy ears, though. Our elves…. Well, those plonkers like to steal children, and they eat whomever they can get their grubby talons on. I reckon it’s better in the cities, they at least have proper walls.
 
Places like Kincardine have to use the Clearing every four years to drive the monsters back, and it don’t always work. The clans have no such precautions. We just keep moving and hope for the best. The tremps have been acting strangely lately, though. Well, stranger than usual according to Munro. Like you can feel them getting ready for something.
 
It’s downright spooky…. But nothing’s worked to get rid of the blighted creatures completely. Not yet, anyway. Oi! Can we talk about something a bit more pleasant? No one likes talking about the evil elves.
Of course! You mentioned your older brother was back with your clan? Is that why you and your parents aren’t back with him? Loren’s accident?
 
Guess you can say that, but that’s putting it nicely. You see, the Sipsi clans live out in the woods surrounding the towns and cities of Selkirk. Keeps us free of the king, duke, and baron’s pesky laws and the brothers in the monastery who insist we live by no code but Wodan’s—our god. But it makes us vulnerable to the feral elves. We’ve got to keep moving to avoid the monsters or they could wipe out a whole clan.
 
After Loren’s… accident, we didn’t know the damage that’d been inflicted, not immediately anyway. But when it was clear he wasn’t going to recover, our clan leaders said my mum and pop would need to, well, end his misery. He’d endanger the whole clan’s safety if he couldn’t keep up or know when to keep quiet if danger was about. Instead of killing their baby, my parents decided to leave the clan life and take Loren to a town where proper healers could help us. I could’ve stayed with the clan, but after what happened to Loren on my watch…. I couldn’t leave him again, you understand?
 
I do, Rosslyn. So, why didn’t your older brother come with you guys?
 
A girl. Simple as that. Munro fell in love and his lass wouldn’t leave the clan life. So he stayed behind with her. Next question.
 
Another sore point I see, but ok. What do you miss most about the clans?
 
That’s easy, too: the freedom. Sipsi clans live by no one’s laws but our own. Sure, our leader’s word must be obeyed when it comes to clan safety, but otherwise you can do as you like. Live as you like, love who you like, marry them or just have a tumble without judgement. You’re completely free to live the life you want, and do what makes you happy. In towns like Kincardine that’s not how people live. It’s awful.
 
Will you ever go back?
 
Probably not. Not unless they let Loren come back and they wouldn’t do that. Especially not while the elves are feral and like to eat people. My chances of going back are as good as the tremps getting their minds back. Just won’t happen.
 
So, what’s next for you and Tallis?
 
Well, Tallis is hitting a bit of a rough patch. Her pop is a proper bastard and has it in his mind to sell her on the Bride Block. So I’ve been helping her earn coin to avoid that, and her cousin, Donovan, he’s been helping in his own way, too. Reckon we’ll have to get out of Kincardine soon to keep her from being sold like chattel. If that happens, I’ll ask my parents to come with us so we can all start over somewhere else. Donovan seems to want to take his sweetheart away from Kincardine, too, and who knows? Maybe that Tomas lad will decide to give up monastery life and come with us. Either way, we’re aiming to have a proper adventure! If the elves don’t get in the way, that is.
 
Well, that’s it! Thanks, Rosslyn, for your time!

My Struggle Being Body Positivite

Hello my favorite booknerds! As promised, more (better?) blogging from yours truly in 2018! So I want to talk to you about, well, let’s call it a current event, or better yet, a movement that is near and dear to me: body positivity. This isn’t a new movement, it’s been around since at least the 90’s, probably much longer under a different name, but it tends to ebb and flow with strength and becomes more of a “thing” when celebrities or brands come out and say something, or make an ad campaign that celebrates “real” bodies. Case in point: Tess Holiday’s rise to super model status and Dove’s recent ad campaign. In case you’re unfamiliar, body positivity, simply put, is: accepting the body you have as well as the changes in shape, size, and ability it may undergo due to nature, age, or your own choices throughout your life. Sounds nice, right? Loving the skin your in? So why is it so damn hard to love ourselves?

Everyone is different, but for me, one of the main reasons I have such a hard time looking at my body shape in the mirror and loving it is the things I’ve been told, and seen, my entire life. As a kid, I was always bigger, both in height and natural girth. This meant that my “friends” would be cruel, especially in those hormone riddled years when I wanted boys to like me. I wasn’t petite by any means, which my friends would tell me by passive aggressively making comments like: “Well, my doctor said I’m going to have the perfect mannequin body when I grow up!” I kid you not, one of my friends said this to me when I made the mistake in confiding in her about my size. Of course she was lying, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t skinny, so I believed her when she said that, because she was, she was the expert on bodies at the tender age of 13. Then of course there’s all the popular media and magazines that say things like: “Drop 2 sizes in 10 days for that perfect beach body!” “Find out which celebrity has let themselves go!” “Banish cellulite and get more sex appeal with these easy steps.” Messages like that, for me, definitely had me looking at my curves and, frankly, hating them.
In the last twenty years or so, brands and other movements have been trying to change this. But a lot of brands who have appropriated this have missed the point of the movement entirely. The surface message is: you should feel good about your body. What they are really saying is: you can’t feel good in your body as it is, so let’s help you create a body you can love. Or they show only a small subset of people; like only lighter skinned models who are a “small” plus size—basically acceptable fat. Because there is, apparently, a line where you go from being allowed to love yourself and wear whatever you want without shame, to being fat. And body positivity isn’t just about physical appearance, either. It incorporates disabilities, sexual identities, race, and of course, people who are very large in size. If at any time someone tries to adopt the body positivity mantra but tells you that only these “plus sizes” and these skin tones are acceptable, then they are missing the point.

This isn’t the only misconception about being body positive. Some people believe that being body positive means you have to feel fabulous and sexy all the time, seriously. All. The. Time. That’s false, by the way. Body positive is just about divorcing how you look with your feelings of self-worth. You are not worth less or more because you look a certain way, and you are allowed to feel ugly, but you should always see your worth and want to take care of yourself—that’s being body positive. Believing that you aren't worth less because you don’t fit a certain size, and that your size or appearance or sexuality should have any bearing on your decision to treat others with respect. That's what it's about, people!

Body positivity is also not an excuse to “let yourself go” or be lazy, or to not take care of yourself. It’s just asking you to be okay with who you are, because if you hate yourself, you won’t take care of yourself, and you should want to take care of your body. That means that if you do see issues, but you’re okay with yourself as a person, you’ll be more open and willing to make healthy changes, whatever those may be. It’s also understanding that other people’s health is no one’s business but theirs. You do you, free of the constraints of an oppressive cultural standard of beauty.
For a long time, I thought body positivity meant that I did, indeed, need to find myself the sexiest thing to walk all day every day, and when I didn’t, that meant clearly I hated myself. I follow a lot of curvy body positive models on Instagram and I look at those images and think “Well, damn, I don’t feel that comfortable in my skin. I’m not body positive.” But I’m just looking at a still frame of their life, and I should never compare myself to them. I know nothing about their struggles, like they know nothing about mine. I’m still struggling with that, but I’m trying to take care of myself, to love my shape, and to not argue with my husband when he genuinely says he loves my big butt.

Shopping for pants will always be the bane of my existence mainly because girl sizes are so arbitrary when it comes to pants—this, I feel, is done on purpose because guys don’t have such silly issues when buying pants. Why girls should always run a gauntlet when trying to find the right sizes and pay more for bigger sizes, I’ll never know, but it’s unfair and, dare I say, sizeist (is that a thing?). But despite the emotional roller-coaster I experience when I go shopping or step on the scale, I can still be body positive and be okay with the person I am. And you can too! Let’s Make this 20GREATteen (see what I did there? 2018? Well, I thought it was clever) and be okay with the people we are and the space we inhabit. And know you aren’t alone! If you are looking for more information, these are two great places to start and know I am always here if you want to talk, just leave me a comment and we’ll get a dialogue going!

Book Tour and Guest Blog Post Featuring the Author of "Foundations of Faith"!

Hey there, booknerds! I have a surprise for you: a book tour! I am excited to be hosting today's tour stop for author and superhero, Michael Chrobak and his first book: "Foundations of Faith" in the Brother Thomas and the Guardians of Zion series. While this tour is going to specifically focus on the first book, I have read both out in the series and they are lovely Christian based Fantasy reads perfect for young adult readers who are in touch with, or want to be more in touch with, their faith. You can read my review for book one here and book two here if you want more information on these fun reads. But you can also check out the info below to read more about the book and the author. But that information, while vital, makes for a boring blog. So Michael wrote a guest post for you read as well! And as someone who loves animals and has rescued a few myself, Michael's story about naming pets was something I felt was perfect to share, especially as I plan a few more serious blog posts in the upcoming weeks.

Please enjoy, and be sure to check out "Foundations of Faith" and connect with the author, I can vouch for his kindness and extreme talent!

Book blurb:   Thomas could think of a million places he'd rather be right now than on a Confirmation retreat. After all, his parents had forced him to attend. It's only Saturday morning and already he wants to leave. All that changes when Thomas is challenged by a dark presence that wants nothing more than to see his faith fail, a faith he didn't even know he had. As the darkness consumes him, Thomas' entire world breaks apart. Can Thomas find the strength to resist the darkness? Will he become the person Father Dominic believes he will be? Can he really accept the quest to find the Guardians of Zion or was that just a dream? If only he had superpowers. But then again, perhaps he does...

Goodreads Score: 4.13

Amazon Score: 4.5

Price: $13.99 in Paperback, Free through Kindle Unlimited

Bio: Michael Chrobak has been involved in working with Youth and Youth Ministry programs since he was a teen himself; a long, long time ago. He has held the position of Director of Religious Education and Youth Minister for St. Bonaventure’s Parish in Concord, CA, and also as Youth Minister for St. Michael’s Parish in Livermore, CA. He has survived raising four children of his own and now lives in Oakley, CA where he continues to stay involved in Youth Ministry through his blogs and books.

How to Connect:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michaelchrobakauthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MChrobakAuthor
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mchrobakauthor
Website: https://michaelchrobakauthor.com
Blog: https://eatingwrite.weebly.com/
Never Let a Five Year Old Name a Dog, By Michael Chrobak
When my youngest was five, we let her bring home a free puppy. On the car ride home, I asked her if she had picked out a name yet. She said she had. In my mind, I was picturing names that would fit this black and gold, Rottweiler mix pup. That’s when she announced her choice: Rainbow.

Wait, what? Rainbow? Did she realize this dog has absolutely zero of the colors that are in a rainbow?

That’s is when I discovered the danger of letting a child choose a dog’s name. Had this been any other animal—cat, goat, pig, donkey, monkey, chinchilla, bird—I would have let it slide. Just not a dog. Why not? Dog parks.

There are no cat parks, or pig parks, or bird parks. But there are dog parks. And, when you’re an owner of a dog, and you bring said animal to the park, you will use the animal’s name while you’re there. In fact, you’ll use it at an above-average rate. Usually not in a quiet, whispery voice either.

“Rainbow, don’t eat that.”

“Rainbow, come here.”

“It’s time to go home, Rainbow.”

I would be humiliated. Laughed at. Maybe not out loud, but definitely behind my back.

“You can put Rainbow on the dog license, and even on her tags, but we will are going to call her Bo.”

“Why, daddy?”

“Because I said so.”
Now, if you don’t yet understand the true importance of giving dogs proper, decent, NORMAL sounding names, consider this. A couple of weeks ago, I started looking for a pup to adopt. It’s been a few years since Rainbow passed and I’ve been missing having a dog around. We have a couple of cats, but, since I’m allergic, they are strictly outdoor cats. And they are, well, they’re cats. It’s not the same.

This time, rather than wait till I could find a box of ‘free pups’, I took an online quiz that matched me to the perfect breeds. Then, I got online to search for dogs to adopt, knowing just what I was looking for.

First, I removed dogs that were too small. Then I looked at length of fur, age, and, to be honest, overall ‘cuteness’. I winnowed the list from 3,700 down to about 25. The last factor was to find that ‘connection’ that an owner feels when they’ve met their new best friend. And though that’s hard to do online, anyone who has tried knows, at some point, you just know you’ve found your dog.

And I did find her. She was the perfect little mutt. All except for one thing.
Her name was Peanut Butter. No, she was not peanut-butter-colored.

Moving on. I find dog number two. His name?
Fluffy McFluffster.

Uhm…wut? He’s a Chihuahua mix. Not a fluff on the guy. This one was named by a drunk teenager, I just know it.

Dog number three? Cranberry.

Dog number four? Snufalufugus.

Number five? Chai Tea Latte.
No, I am not making this up. Someone actually named a dog Chai Tea Latte.
The search for the perfect dog is put on hold, because now I can’t stop until I find the dumbest dog name I can find. Here’s a list:Big BopperJake #2Sasha FierceRugby AustraliaSir Godfrey Tidbit BondForest Green Crayola (I kid you not…)PokemonPitBossBubble Seashell
Ugh…

Can’t I just rename the dog after I get it home? Sure. And it doesn’t take that long, either. But, still, you have to understand…the dog will always know its name used to be Bubble Seashell. There is bound to be some long-term psychological damage.

For two or three years some owner called out, “Bubble Seashell? Where are you?” And the dog had to answer. It didn’t want to. (I mean, would you?) But it did. And every other dog in the neighborhood would pee on the carpet from laughing too hard. Yeah, there’s going to be some residual trauma.

So, for now, I’ll keep searching. Somewhere out there there’s a Max, or Champ, or maybe a Jake (minus the #2) that’s just perfect for me. Hopefully.

*Update: Michael has adopted 2 puppies! And they have normal names. Like Chaya and Copper.

Character boards: meet the bad guys

Hello my favorite booknerds! If there is one thing I learned from the previous year (ok, I learned lots of things, but this is a fun thing), it’s that character boards are SO MUCH FUN. I’ve done a few of these in the past for the first book in “The Monster of Selkirk” and everyone really seems to dig them, so I wanted to show off another one. The first few times I did them, the boards showcased the fashion of Selkirk, the landscape, and some of the things that inspired the four main characters.

This board is going to be a bit different, but still filled with pictures (because who doesn’t like looking at pretty things?) so never fear. But instead of showing off the heroes of my books, I want to show you my villains. The ones that inhabit the first two books in my series that generally make Tallis’s life a living hell (outside of the elves since I already showed you those).

BE FOREWARNED: as these images show some of the nasty people in my world, I feel like I should give you a spoiler warning. It’s mild, if spoilers are there, just, you know, read with caution? Or be sure you’ve read “The Monster of Selkirk Book II: The Heart of the Forest” first. Anything that may be a spoiler will be in the image captions, so don’t click those if you’re nervous, but feel free to enjoy the images!
Ok, so first, let me introduce you to Jon, Henrik, and Raghnall. These dudes make their appearance in the first book, but they continue to cause trouble in the second book as well. Click the pictures to see the captions of who inspired what!
This has always been a theme of mine, that monsters come in all shapes and sizes, and not all are the obvious ones you expect. This definitely holds true for the “gentlemen” above, but it also holds true for some of the roving Sipsi clans that Tallis encounters. Some will aide her, sure, but others… well, others have their own nefarious motives.
And last, but not least, is the big baddie herself. Like I said, not all monsters are literal, but some are because this is a fantasy series, after all. What fun would it be if I didn’t throw in something that reeks of a paranormal being out to watch the world burn?
And that’s it for my first character board of the year! I’ll be doing a lot more once the third book in the series comes out, but, until then, what did you guys think of my villains? Did you picture any of them looking differently? Let me know!

You Earned This: Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

Hello my favorite booknerds! I made a few silent vows (or resolutions, if you will) this year to 1. Post more meaningful blogs, things that go beyond my writing and show you the real me (gulp) and 2. To be kinder to myself, so I can be kinder to others. Often I look at myself and instead of feeling love or self-confidence, I feel disgust. But that’s another blog post. Today I want to talk to you all about a little thing called Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome, for those of you who are blessed with enough self-confidence (or just sheer ego) to be unfamiliar with this term means, according to Wikipedia: “Is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’.” Basically, despite your good grades, your glowing work recommendation, publishing two books, or your perfect hair day, this dark, anxious cloud of negativity follows you around undermining all of that. Telling you that you haven’t actually accomplished a damn thing, you have nothing to be proud of, this was all just good luck, you’re a fake and soon everyone will know and hate you for it. So, yeah … not a great feeling.
I wouldn’t say I get this all the time, but it happens enough to where I recognize it for what it is. That doesn’t mean, however, that I can stop it. Usually, it just means that I end up waiting for the moment to pass in sullen silence, or by complaining to my closet friends, which now include you guys. Objectively speaking, I have a lot to be proud of. I have a master’s degree, got a job right out of college, I was (ok, AM) an expert in the field of gamers and game marketing, having worked in the industry and specialized in marketing on consoles for brands (mostly video game publishers) for several years, and I own my own house. Few people my age have done, or get to do these things, and that’s crazy in a good way! But the Imposter Syndrome takes all of that and just sneers. Telling me, falsely, that it’s not that big a deal, or that the only way I got to this point in my life was based on sheer luck and circumstance.

And see, that’s the other thing, I can write down that these accomplishments are things to be proud of, that I’m not just faking things and crossing my fingers in hopes no one notices, but I don’t feel that way. That’s the worst part, I can be rational about all of this, but my emotions still tank and I feel awful, even while telling others about Imposter Syndrome.

While talking about this with others does help, I’ve also decided that I should do things that are less passive. Namely, to not just wait for this feeling to evaporate on its own, but to actively fight against it in hopes of keeping it from coming back. Speaking from experience, it’s far too easy to just sit back and wait for these negative feelings to go away, because they often don’t. They may lessen, but the thing that was making you feel like shit is still there, it’s still this toxic little nugget deep down waiting to administer its poison once again. So, let’s make a pledge together, shall we? Let’s pledge to kill this monster known as Imposter Syndrome once and for all because we have all done incredible things worthy of praise and we shouldn’t let anything take that away from us!
There are a few different types of Imposter Syndrome so it’s best to figure out what kind you are first, as that may change how you go about addressing the problem. The way this psychological phenomenon presents itself may vary based on a person’s background, personality, or even their life circumstances. The different types are:
PerfectionistSuperwoman/manNatural GeniusRugged IndividualistExpertI don’t want to use the whole blog explaining each type, but this article defines them very well, and even provides tips with how to combat each type. Personally, I’m a bit of a Perfectionist and Expert. This means I tend to set unrealistically high standards for myself and then take my “failures” as a sign that I’m a fake, and I feel like there’s always more to learn, which then turns into a form of procrastination as I believe I don’t know enough to actually do my job no matter how long I’ve been doing it.

For people like me with this kind of Imposter Syndrome, the best advice I can find (as in, it sounds like things I can do) are to learn to take my mistakes in stride and view it as part of the learning process instead of a sign that I’m a failure. Additionally, I should try and force myself to act before “I’m ready” because believing there is a perfect time for anything is just erroneous. Things will never be 100% flawless and accepting that means I can move forward with my work. Additionally, I need to realize there is no shame in asking for help. Also, sharing what I know with others not only helps them, but will help me heal from my fraudulent feelings.
There are a lot of resources out there you can find by just Googling Imposter Syndrome. I’ll link a few here but if you aren’t finding something in my blog that works perfectly for you, that’s fine! There are tons of other resources out there. I mainly want you to know that you aren’t alone. You earned this. You deserve this. You got this.

And, if you’re like me, and need a little help along the way, remember there are resources for you, and sympathetic ears (like mine) to bend when need be. Now, on to the helpful links as promised!
Great place to help you take a step back, identify what’s causing the Imposter Syndrome to rear its ugly head, and ways combat it: How to Banish Imposter Syndrome and Embrace Everything You Deserve
This article has a wonderful story about dealing with Imposter Syndrome, there are even links where you can listen to experts discuss it on the New York Times: Learning to Deal with Imposter Syndrome
Not only does The Guardian offer some advice on Imposter Syndrome, it also has a link to a master class to help you embrace your power and fight back against these negative feelings: Feeling Like an Imposter? You Can Escape this Confidence-Sapping Syndrome
And, last but not least, a short 4 minute video styled in a TED Talks forum by Dr. Valerie Young, an expert on the syndrome: Everyone Loses When Bright People Play Small

2017 is dead. Long live 2018!

Happy New Year, my friends! 2017 was an interesting year, both on a global scale and a personal scale. I don’t want to spend this post going over all the painful things affecting the world, all we can do is find positive ways to move forward and help our fellow humans as much as we can, so that’s what I’m doing. But on a personal level, looking back on the year … it astounds me (in a good way of course).

Before 2017 started, I had a contract for my “Monster of Selkirk” series with my publisher, DevilDog Press. But this was the year my first AND second book was published! Something I never thought would happen, happened and, in the process, I have met some incredible people, and even made a few fans along the way. Crazy, right?

The funny thing is, if I could do it all over, there are things I’d change. Things that would, supposedly, make building a community easier. Like having a consistent blog for a year before the first book came out (oops?) so people would know who the heck I am, and why I bother with the whole “C.E.” thing rather than using Chelscey (I mean, the reason should be obvious, would you know how to spell my name if someone just said it to you? Probably not).
Launching one book is accomplishment enough, but I launched 2. TWO! And let me tell you, keeping the same level of excitement for the first book amongst the community for the second book has been challenging. But it’s a new year, so hopefully we can figure this out together.

I sunk a decent chunk of my own money into advertising last year for both books, and I don’t think that’s something a lot of people realize about indie and small press authors. It’s easy to look at the big names and all the support their work gets, and assume that most, if not all books are like that. Or, if you publish enough, eventually people will find it and then you’ll be making all the money. Which is simply false. If I didn’t pour my time, energy, and yes, my own finances into this endeavor, it’d never go anywhere. And even with doing that, I’m still competing alongside those big name authors and hoping to be noticed. It’s tough, and this year has taught me not to let that deter me, because if I focused on how daunting of a task that is, I’d lose sight of my writing.

What this has taught me is to be kind to indie authors. To read more of their work. To give them a chance, and be understanding of their struggle. I have been surprised by many indie books this year with how good they are. So just because a book isn’t published by one of the Big 5 publishing houses, doesn’t mean the book is trash, and you may very well just discover your favorite new author or series by branching out!

Speaking of books … I had some serious reading goals last year. I opened my website up for indie book reviews (because I believe in karma) and was humbled (and overwhelmed) by the response I got. I received so many requests for book reviews that I’m still trying to catch up! I can average about 3 books a month so I think I’ve got a good handle moving forward this year, but given I got so swamped with book review quests that I couldn’t read many of the traditional books I’ve been wanting to read, this year I vow to be more selective in which books I agree to review. I always finish a book, whether the book is bad or not, and with how many books are out in the wild, I need to learn to say “no” and prioritize a bit better.
I ended the year with as big of a bang as I started, with my first ever book signing ! I won’t lie, I was so, SO nervous going into that event. Flashbacks of being picked last for the kickball team flashed in my mind telling me that no one would show up, that all the books I brought to sign would remain blank and follow me back from California to New Orleans. In the midst of all this stress and planning, I received heartbreaking news. My editor, Rob Miller, who had been struggling in his battle against cancer, lost the fight. He passed away just a few days prior to my signing, soon followed by my family dog of 19 years, Lola.

While I worked with Rob for 2.5 of my books, I never had the opportunity to meet him face-to-face. He lived in Oregon and I lived in New Orleans and our paths never crossed at the events my publisher put on. This never bothered me. With modern technology, why would it? We worked well together over the phone and via Facebook and email, so the need to go and sit with him while pouring over my manuscript never came up. I regret that now. Just as I was truly getting to know him and his family, his life was cut tragically short, and so close to Christmas, too. It was a weird thing to try and process while doing my event and having to be upbeat and personable. I must have managed it though, as no one seemed to know what was going on, and the new readers I met at the event all seemed to be happy and excited about their signed copies.

I guess the point of me mentioning it is just to point out that none of us really know what other people are dealing with or battling. So be kind. Always.
The rest of my year was spent with family both back in California and New Orleans where I got to see Walk the Moon and Imagine Dragons perform. Those of you who have followed me for a bit know that I am a HUGE music lover, so seeing them both in concert was a big night, and helped with the lingering sadness Rob and Lola’s passing has for me.

As I’m not one to end on a sad note, you guys want to know what I have in store for 2018? Well, plenty I tell you! Plenty.

Book 3 in “The Monster of Selkirk” series will be coming out, and I should be getting a date locked down for Book 4. I will also be wrapping up writing the first draft of the general fiction book I'm working on, and after some revisions, will be handing it over to beta readers! Additionally, my short horror story “The Cautionary Tale of Bertrand Allary” will be published in February, and I’ll be sharing more specifics on that as the date draws near. But my overall goal for the year is to keep honing my craft and doing more events to meet more readers, and who knows, hopefully people will find me fun and interesting along the way.

I hope you all had a good year, and if not, that you can look back on 2017 and formulate a plan of attack for 2018. It’ll be as great as you allow it to be, so strive forward with kindness and positivity!

(Which sounds very fortune-cookie of me, but I have 0 regrets. Let’s do this, 2018!)

Upcoming Book Signing Event!

Me 80% of the time during Thanksgiving: drinking wine. Hello my dear friends. It’s been awhile since I posted a blog, and I do apologize. I just wrapped a couple weeks of blog tours, then hosted Thanksgiving (and didn’t burn the house down! #winning), and now I am preparing for the holidays, another blog tour this time hosted and run by fellow authors, and, drum roll please, doing a book signing event just before Christmas!

I posted about this in my newsletter, so if you subscribe to that (hint: you totally should) you already have the details. But if you missed it, you can find the information on the official Facebook invitation. Please RSVP if you are going to attend, it helps me judge snacks and bookmarks for giving out, but even if you can’t go as it’s too far away or the timing just doesn’t work, list yourself as “interested” in the event. This is a public event (which makes me a tad nervous for various reasons) so if you mark yourself as “interested” then others will see it and who knows? Maybe they’d be interested and want to check out the event. It is being held in a super cute store run by a friend of mine, so there will be plenty to check out if you do decide to join me.
I realize this isn’t much of a blog post, but honestly, I’m pretty exhausted and scatter brained, as I’m sure many people are this time of year. I have had no time to come down from the stress of prepping a Thanksgiving meal and hosting it all for the first time. Like I said, it turned out pretty well according to the lovely people who joined us this year. Right after that, me and the husband had to start planning for Christmas as we are not staying in New Orleans (which should be obvious given the location of the book signing), which means I’ve had little time to just sit down and write.

Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but it is, or it is to me. You see, when I have a project that is eh, let’s say 80% done being written, not being able to finish it makes me really grumpy. Which means I get snippy (mainly at my husband, sorry hon), and I don’t like that. So, my goal is to get more work done in my WIP manuscript so, come the holidays and the book signing, my inner muse isn’t jabbing me with a rusty fence post for neglecting it.

So that’s why this is barely a blog post, more of a rambling update. But hey, you want to hear more from me? I’ve been spending a lot of time on Instagram, so go follow me there! I hope to see you all at the book signing event, and please don’t hesitate to ask me questions about it in the meantime!

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Being okay with NOT being okay

Hello, good friends! I apologize for my blogging absence as of late, I do have a good reason though. I was out of the country in the Dominican Republic for a little bit, then I got sick, and then book two in “The Monster of Selkirk” series launched, so I am 2-for-2 on illnesses during book launches. But as it’s been a week and my energy has returned/is returning, and a few of the early book reviews for “The Heart of the Forest” have come in, I wanted to share an element from my life that was weaved throughout the latest book.

I’ve mentioned before on my blog tours and what not, that I enjoy using fantasy, particularly young adult fantasy, to give young people a safe place where they don’t feel so alone, and that is most prevalent in “The Heart of the Forest”. I am going to avoid spoilers, but there is a moment in the second book where Tallis is dealing with something very traumatic and heart wrenching, and Tomas tries to comfort her, he wants her to feel better, and to feel better NOW. On the surface, this is natural, we’ve all been there in one form or another. We’ve dealt with terrible things, or know someone who was going through something devastating and we wanted to do whatever we could to make them feel better. But Tallis gets mad at Tomas for this, and basically tells him that what she needs most is to be allowed to feel her feelings, she needs to grieve for as long as she needs to, and she doesn’t want Tomas to “try and make her feel better” just because her sadness makes him uncomfortable.
Take a moment to think about that, if you will. Our intentions for wanting our friends and family to feel better when they are depressed or upset comes from a good place: we don’t like seeing people we care for suffer. But part of that desire to make them feel better, is because their sadness does indeed make us uncomfortable. We can’t understand how they process their feelings, even if we have been in similar situations. We’ll never really know how they feel. So when they are depressed, we want them to, well, not be depressed because we’re generally good people and their sadness makes us uncomfortable to be around.

Conversely, when people are grieving or going through something traumatic, they often feel like they are not allowed to process those emotions for very long. As if there is a time limit on how long someone can mourn. But people, especially young people, need to know that it is absolutely okay to not be okay. That you can feel your feelings for as long as it takes you to process them and the terrible situation you find yourself in. It’s okay to take as much time as you need. In other words: you do you.

I was so excited when a reviewer found this section of the book and latched on to it, because it was done very purposefully. Not just because I think it’s an important part of mental health and something more people should be okay with, but because I have been in this situation, as I’m sure many people have.
I was going through a tough time, I felt like my life was crumbling, everything I worked so hard for slipping through my fingers. I was let go from my job and had nothing to fall back on, I was struggling with trying to figure out what to do with my life next, I was floundering with ideas of self-worth… I was a mess and I was depressed; I could barely eat, let alone sleep, and I had a tendency to wallow everywhere I went.

My husband, bless his heart, wanted me to feel better. And he tried, he really did, to alleviate my burdens and remind me that I was, and am, loved. But that didn’t change the situation I was in so my depression remained and he got upset. He didn’t understand why I was still this way, why I couldn’t just get over it. I felt like I had to be done being terrified of the situation I found myself in, but putting on a brave face and denying my persistent panic attacks wasn’t the answer, either. I eventually went to see a therapist to talk about these things, and he told me how uncomfortable our sadness makes others who do not share it, even if they love us and just want us to be okay. Its why we tend to bring food over to people who have just lost a loved one, it’s a universal way of trying to make someone feel better when they are going through something profound and terrible that we can’t comprehend. There’s a reason we call it comfort food, after all.

When my therapist talked to me about this, it felt like a weight was lifted. It made sense why my husband, who loves me, would make me feel bad about feeling bad, even if he didn’t intend to. After that, I gave myself permission to feel my feelings for as long as I needed to, even if that meant telling people to just give me space so I could do just that. Eventually, my head resurfaced, and I had a deeper understanding of myself and my own mental process, and I wouldn’t have achieved that if I hadn’t allowed myself to feel bad, and to accept that it’s okay to not be okay. I thought that was important enough to include in my fantasy world, that little piece of knowledge and acceptance I stumbled across with my therapist while trying to achieve better personal mental health. I want people to feel comfortable talking about this, but I know it’s a touchy subject for a lot of people. So, I figured that if I put it in my books, that maybe it would help someone else, that it would let them know that it’s fine, you can be sad for as long as it takes, you do you.

If you’ve read the books, I’d love to know what other parts you found that really spoke to you the way it did to the blogger, Roxie. She caught something I did very deliberately that I am so glad she wrote about in her review, but if there are other parts, please share them with me so we can have a nice little chat about it! And remember, it’s okay to not be okay, you do you.

Building Selkirk

Hello friends! Since you seemed to enjoy my last post focused on my character profiles, I decided to do another similar posting. Instead of focusing on my leading cast of characters (though I'll probably do another such post, but focused more on the supporting cast, as they are just as diverse and important to the story), this post will be focused more on some of the images I used to help build and shape the land of Selkirk. These images can be found on my Pinterest account in the boards dedicated to Selkirk and the costumes, but not all those clothes belong in Selkirk, or the first two books, so I wanted to share a few of the more prominent images of the scenery and outfits you'd most likely run into in the first book!
First, I want to introduce you to some of the elves. Now these aren't your Tolkien elves, they wear tattered rags for clothes, seem impervious to the weather, and some even look like walking trees if they get old enough! They have glowing yellow eyes, and most have filed their teeth into fangs. While none of the images are 100% spot on, images like these really helped me shaped the elves currently plaguing Tallis and her friends:
It's no secret that I based most of Selkirk off of a medieval version of Scotland with a smattering of Ireland and England in there for good measure. The names of the towns and cities, the food, the language, and the attire are all inspired from those places (but mainly Scotland). So of course, as I was envisioning the forests, the towns, and the other places Tallis found herself traversing, images like these were instrumental in capturing the feel and the mood of the landscape, as well as the feelings Tallis and her friends had while going through the areas:
If you've read the book, you may have noticed that every once in awhile, I put on my Tolkien and George R. Martin hat, and get really descriptive about clothes and armor. I know not everyone is a fan of that, and is often seen as just a trope of fantasy novels, and if it is, sorry? But I honestly like getting detailed about that stuff every now and again, I think it helps complete the sense of you being there, of being able to really visualize the different characters and their personalities based on the clothes they wear, or the armor they choose to put on. I won't do it for every single outfit change, usually just once or twice to complete the image of the world, and then after, it's on you, dear reader, to make sure the characters aren't running around naked, unless you're into that kind of thing, then go for it! Regardless, I spend a lot of time looking for clothes that fit the world and characters, and the ones below fit that well for the first book, though if you have visited my Pinterest boards, you'll know the costumes vary wildly from book one to two, and beyond. These are just a few that inspire the looks I talk about in "The Duality of Nature":
You may want to click on the images in order to get a clearer view of the detail in each one, but I hope this little teaser was interesting, and if you've read the book, the details from some of the locations or clothes now make more sense to you. I'll post more of these as we get closer to book two's release date and beyond so you can see even more of Selkirk, and the things and people Tallis and her friends encounter along the way. Let me know what you think of the images, or if there are certain characters you'd love to see the character profile for. I'd love to hear from you all!