Sandra C. Lopez's Blog, page 367

Review: KILLER CUPCAKES by Leighann Dobbs

Lexy Baker is a baker with a dog named Sprinkles? Yeah, that’s definitely corny.

Obviously, the best part is when she is suspected of murdering her ex-boyfriend because of the poisoned cupcakes. But the Ladies Detective Club? So a bunch of old ladies rotting away in a retirement home is going to solve this crime? Doubtful.
Overall, the story was anticlimactic, but, on the plus side, it is a light and airy read. And isin’t that how cupcakes should be?
It’s a quick, little mystery—good to kill an hour or two—but it doesn’t make me want to follow the series.
My rating: 3 stars

Review: PHONE KITTEN by Marika Christian

Emily Winters is a frumpy, mousy, chubby woman trying to be a columnist. I’d be pissed if someone stole my piece. Of course, now people know who she is—as the girl that freaked out at her boss and got fired. She’s not invisible anymore.

So now she needs a new job. How about a phone sex operator? I love that she gets help and training from her gay best friend. Who would’ve thought that she’d be good at it?
What I didn’t like was that there were too many rules to the phone sex gig, which is why she had to quit that company and move on to Phone Kittens. The most intriguing part was that one of her clients ends up dead—murdered, actually. Could Emily be a possible suspect? Well, she was the last one to see him alive, even though the rules specifically state NOT to meet your clients in person. She has to figure this out and clear her name (albeit phony name.)
Phone Kitten is on the case. The fat, mousy chick with the sexy voice will stop at nothing to solve it.
A compelling and witty mystery!
 Witty, relatable, and funny!
 
My rating: 4 stars

Review: THE 7TH TAROT CARD by Valerie Clay

Victoria, A.K.A. “Vic,” is a 40-ish seeker in search of self-improvement, the meaning of life, and the perfect man. Good luck!
She wants to live life, not lie down and die, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She’s always trying to meet “the one” through online dating, and, unfortunately, they haven’t all gone too well. Vic is a witty and quirky character that you’ll relate to.
Sometimes what gets her through the day is her three wonderful friends, one of which is Laini, the tarot reader.
Mystery: she gets these random breather calls in all hours of the day. Who could it be?
Playing Detective: Vic will spy on Laini’s husband to see if he’s cheating on her. You would think if she’s a tarot reader that she’d be able to figure that part out for herself.
At first, the story seemed trivial and banal, but it was actually a little enticing. Although I didn’t quite get how they ended up in this kidnapping mobster heist in Vegas.
About half way through the book, it’s concluded that Vic has a stalker, and Judah, her hot, mysterious neighbor, is somehow assigned to protect her. But could he protect her from the stalker or is he the stalker?
The stalker part was certainly interesting, but I felt that story was rather unfocused. I mean, did we really need that whole scene in Vegas? I didn’t think it was pertinent. Then after you reach the midpoint, it all revolves around Vic’s stalker, which was compelling; however, the author didn’t elaborate on it. Personally, I would’ve liked a little more background info on it. Plus, there were paragraphs that tended to go and on tediously, not really contributing to the plot. The ending also wasn’t too spectacular.
This book is called The 7th Tarot Cardand Laini was the tarot reader, but she hardly made any appearances or readings for that matter. Story had a nice premise, but the whole thing was just scattered and unfocused.
 My rating: 3 stars

Review: FOLLOW THE DOTTED LINE by Nancy Hersage

It all begins with cremated ashes being mailed in a burger container. Nice, huh? The prologue is all about the adult kids spreading the news to each other about their dead father. The last in the chain was the unlucky one chosen to inform their mother.
Andrea Bravos, a political activist, was that mother and ex-wife of the dead guy. But what was the cause of death? Strange how the looney, new wife refused to divulge that info. But Andy will stop at nothing to find out.
With the help of her TV-watching, God-preaching nephew, who’s smarter than he looks, Andy will dive into a mystery bigger than she realizes. Even I felt like strangling that snot-nose Harley with his constant criticism and overzealous theology on religion. Oh brother. And the two got into a debate on Heaven vs. Hell? Oh good grief! So these guys are pretty much bickering throughout this whole ordeal.
Overall, this was a well-written and witty story. I didn’t find the politics, history, and bible jargon to be particularly interesting. In fact, I could’ve done without most of that. Details were also quite lengthy in the story. Even with the amusing tidbits like testing the ashes for DNA, it just took a long time for the plot to progress. I admit that I got a little bored along the way. But the few things that I liked rated this an okay book.
 
My rating: 3 stars

Review: MILLICENT MIN, GIRL GENIUS by Lisa Yee

Millicent is an 11-year old genius! Unfortunately, she’s also a dork (signing a yearbook in Latin?)

Of course, being a genius also means having no friends. She’s also a very naïve and gullible girl because people use her for her brains but she doesn’t figure it out soon enough. When she meets Emily, Millicent concludes that this is her shot to get a real friend…if she can hide her brilliant smarts. This follows the mantra: To gain another, you must lose yourself.
“Yet in Emily’s eyes I was a normal girl. And normal girls don’t talk about those sort of things. Normal girls talk about…well, just what do they talk about? I’m going to have to research that.” (71) She’s so adorable!
 “I love blank pages, they hold so much promise.” (55) I loved that she loved to learn and read (just like ME!) And, like me, she overthinks and overanalyzes, and she’s not into boys or childish antics.
“I wish I could walk into Bob’s Hardware Store and buy a shut off valve for my brain. At bedtime, my mind races. Thoughts pour out and dance around. Numbers add up and divide. Lists begin and never end. Songs without names taunt me. If my head can only be as empty as [the boys], I would be able to slip into the delicious, deep sleep that eludes me.” (190)
“What my parents kept failing to understand was how happy I was when I was alone with my books. There was no pressure to perform or be cute, and books never disappoint—unless, of course, you’ve chosen a bad one. But then, you can always put it down and pick up another one without any repercussions.” (98)
“I hate shopping. To me, malls are monolithic icons of mass consumption and capitalism.” (29) Totally agree! Absolutely smart! Love her!
“I didn’t know what to say. Was I supposed to congratulate her or tell her I was sorry? I don’t suppose there’s a Hallmark card for this sort of thing. I mean, what would it read? ‘A standing ovation for your first ovulation!” (133) Hilarious!
“Last night, Emily and I had a huge argument over the definition of ‘attractive.’ She seems to think it has a lot to do with good hair, sparkling eyes, and the ability to make a person melt. Me, I believe that it encompasses the ability to communicate (the written word, as well as spoken), high intelligence, and a firm grasp of current events.” (107)
“True, I have led a somewhat solitary life and have on rare occasion wondered what it would be like to be popular. But it is not as if I sat alone in my room all day brooding. My life was so full with my studies and endless projects that there really wasn’t time for friendships. And if there wasn’t time for friendships, then wouldn’t it follow that there wasn’t time for loneliness?” (120)
Witty, funny, and smart!
My rating: 5 stars    

Review: MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT by Wendy Nelson Tokunaga

Midori Saito's dream seems about to come true. Too independent for Japanese society, Midori is a young woman who has always felt like a stranger in her native land. So when she falls in love with Kevin, an American English teacher, she readily agrees to leave home and start a new life with him in San Francisco--as his fiancée. Kevin seems to be the perfect man. That is, until he dumps her for his blonde ex-fiancée, whom Midori never even knew existed. Midori is left on her own, with just a smattering of fractured English, not much cash, and a fiancée visa set to expire in sixty days. Unable to face the humiliation of telling her parents she's been jilted, and not wanting to give up on her "American Dream," Midori realizes she's in for quite a challenge. Her only hope is her new acquaintance (and potential landlord) Shinji, a successful San Francisco graphic artist and amateur moon gazer who fled Japan after a family tragedy. And eventually, Midori surprises even herself as she proves she will do almost anything to hang on to her dream of a new life.




My thoughts: Story had a dull, slow start, and I wasn’t getting into it the more I trudged on.
Midori is not an interesting character. There was some degree of biting wit, but it really did nothing for me.
My rating: 2 stars

Review: IT’S MY F---ING BIRTHDAY by Merrill Markoe

It's My F---ing Birthday unfolds in seven state-of-my-life addresses a hapless high school art teacher writes to herself on consecutive birthdays. Through outrageously funny years of needling parents, self-absorbed boy-friends, riots, O.J., and Monica, she navigates a circuitous (and ultimately successful) route to happiness in a world where everything seems to conspire to the contrary.





My thoughts: First off, I loved the title! It was the first thing that grabbed me. Then it all just hits you with this morbid and candid humor.
The book basically chronicles every birthday since her thirties. Everybody knows birthdays are depressing. The parents are so arrogant and critical. Who wouldn’t want to hang themselves? And why would the ex-boyfriend send flowers? Weird.
The nameless narrator explains all the misery in her life and the mistakes she hopes to avoid in the coming years. At times, her bitterness and constant bitching became a bit of a bore that I wondered why I kept reading. Is there a point? Is there a story here?
She also got a little vulgar when it came to men and sex. Yap, yap, yap—she doesn’t stop yapping! Even though the yapping was filtered with snarky and witty comments, it kind of stops being funny after a while.  The character was obsessive and neurotic with serious self-esteem issues. She will always be that “dumb girl.”
My rating: 3 stars  

Review: GONE BUT NOT MISSED by A.R. Kennedy

Lillian Brannon wakes up on Valentine's Day in an exact replica of her bedroom but the only item that she believes is authentic is her dog, Laude. She is held captive in her kidnapper's basement apartment, summoned upstairs once a week for a chaste dinner. But will his kindness last, and more importantly, why isn’t anyone looking for her? Lillian’s story is interwoven with that of Nathan, a NYPD officer, who is intrigued by Lillian’s disappearance- how can a young woman be gone for two weeks before a Missing Person Report is filed? Local police believe Lillian has voluntarily abandoned a life she didn’t like. Lillian’s best friend convinces Nathan the authorities are wrong. With no jurisdiction, no resources, and no witnesses, he is compelled by the pictures of Lillian with her sweet smile and sparkling green eyes to obsessively take up the case. Armed with Lillian’s keys and personal information, he spends hours, then days in her home trying to find clues that will lead him to her.




 
My thoughts: It had a very slow start. Story begins in the POV of Ms. June? No, some other lady. Jen? Wait, is she Jen or Lillian? So confusing! Was the confusion the mystery? Oh, forget it!
My rating: 1 star

Review: L.A. LATE AT NIGHT by Paul D. Marks (short stories)

Welcome to Los Angeles. The city that sleeps with one eye open. Enjoy the hot Santa Ana breeze while you sip your tequila. Take a stroll down Sunset Boulevard. Dip your toes in Echo Park lake. Walk down Raymond Chandler’s mean streets. Meet your new neighbors: A rising star defense attorney with self doubts. A dinosaur LAPD detective resistant to change. A beat cop with anger control issues. A drifter who is easily led astray. And two brothers with extra bad luck. And of course, the city itself. The City of Angels. La-La Land. Los Angeles. A collection of 5 stories from the Mean Streets of Los Angeles by Shamus Award-Winning author Paul D. Marks.





My review: In “L.A. at Night,” a defense lawyer questions if she freed a killer.
The stories were okay. They tended to lag on sometimes and a lot of the police jargon was a bore. I could tell they were written as a script by the little inserts (“CUT” & “EXT. SHOT”). I could just see the scene playing out in front of me. I felt like I was watching Law and Order.
It was true: Nowadays you did need a gun to go the grocery store in L.A.
My rating: 2.5 stars     

Review: OCTOBER 32 by Larry Rodness

WELCOME TO ELORA, where Halloween is a serious business.
The Fall Halloween Festival is “a joyous event celebrated with costumes and music and the sweet smell of baked goods designed to super-charge the youngsters and play havoc with insulin levels of the elderly.” (16) There is also a myth, which has a common theme of having a “stranger who upsets the status quo and changes the lives of everyone forever.” (19)
Although the concept of this strange Halloween fest was alluring, the story was slow to capture my interest.
It seems our traveling insurance salesman has stumbled on a town of wacky country folk, which is undoubtedly the focal point in the story. It’s funny how the character made a reference to Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds because that’s exactly what I was thinking during this book. The thing was though, as I was reading through endless scenery and tedious dialogue, I kept wondering one thing: When were the freaking birds going to attack?
I don’t know. This seemed like an interesting story with a nice cover design, but it wasn’t quite what I was expecting.

My rating: 2.5 stars