Derek Landy's Blog, page 13

Spirit Lake

Here's a bit of an oddity...

Okay, so you all know what a fan of Ronda Rousey I am. In Women's Mixed Martial Arts, she is the UFC champ. She is an astonishingly admirable lady, brimming with confidence and wit. Some people call her arrogant, but then some people call ME arrogant, and we all know that's not true. Well, it's sort of true. Okay, it's true, but why be humble and boring when you can be arrogant and entertaining? 

I am enough of a fan, in fact, that I sought out her signed gloves and won them at auction. Here they are, beside a pair of boxing gloves owned by THE greatest martial artist, certainly in living memory, one Mister Bruce Lee.


On Twitter, I follow two people. Ronda Rousey and Gina Carano. The fact that both people are very pretty women who can fight is a complete coincidence, I assure you. It's because of Twitter, however, that I heard about a project that Ronda's mum and sister are behind— something called Spirt Lake: The Game. 

Spirit Lake, essentially, combines adventure video gaming with learning maths (or, as you Americans say, math), in an effort to make learning fun. Originally developed with Native American students in mind, they've realised that the Dakota (Sioux) angle— incorporating historically accurate aspects of tribal life and culture—  appeals to people and schools right across America. And you get to fire arrows! At wolves! While you learn to count! What's not to love??
And if this works like they hope it will, this could be the beginning of something huge. This could revolutionise teaching, and learning— not just in America but across the world— and it could be just the thing that's needed to help struggling students make that singular, all-important leap. This could change people's lives. 
So I heard about this, and the Kickstarter campaign they were running to fund the next stage of development, and I figured I may as well send some money over to help them along. After all, the better kids do in school, the longer they stay in school, and the longer they stay in school, the more chance they have of stumbling across my books, right? Right. 
As a reward for helping out, they have given me the chance to actually BECOME a character in this game. But I couldn't possibly accept. The fact is, I am amazing. I am awesome. If I were to make a cameo appearance in ANY game, I would make every other aspect of the game pale in comparison. And I couldn't do that to all their hard work. So I asked Ronda's mum if it'd be okay if I could hold a mini-competition HERE, not only for my Ameriminions but for ALL my Minions, and the winner of THAT would get the chance to become a character. If you win, the animators will create an avatar using your name and likeness and as if by magic— you will be INSIDE a video game. 
It'll be like Tron only... y'know... you probably won't die.
Probably. 
And even though the game is only planned for release in America (right now), the competition is open to anyone of any age and nationality. So here's what you have to do. You have to tell me why YOU would be the most awesome video game character EVER. Once we reach the 5000 comment limit and the Comments Section closes, I shall collect all the entries, stick the names in a hat, and randomly pick the winner. 
And yes, entering more than once, with DIFFERENT reasons, gives you a better chance of winning. 
There. Bet when you opened up this Blog today you had no idea this was coming at you. 

Back in Circulation

Ah, time off... how I love you so... At least, I love the IDEA of you. I love the MENTION of you, the PROMISE of you. But I never quite GET you, do I?

Such is the reality of life as a writer— there IS no time off.

Other people leave the office and go off on holidays, but that's not the case with writers. Oh sure, we can easily walk away from the writing desk, but it's not so easy to flick the switch in our heads that makes us stop thinking of the next thing to write. We're stuck in that headspace. A writer's brain will continue to churn, even when we want to think about other things. It's not a BAD problem to have. It's not as bad as, say, being born without a head or waking up one morning to find your house is made of cheese. But it can get annoying. It means that you can never really relax...

I've had a few days off ever since sending in my first draft of LSODM. The last time I spoke with Nick, my editor, he was halfway through and loving it. Apparently. So that's good. I think. I'm not sure what my feelings are towards this new book. At the moment I'm too close to it, I don't know if it's good or great (or, yikes, bad) so I'm at that stage where uncertainty is tainting everything and I'm just waiting for Nick to finish the whole thing and say "Yeaahhhhh it's... fine... BUT..."

So yes, I've had a few days off since then. Two of which were taken up with meetings. But from Thursday on, I haven't even had to answer the phone. So what have I been doing?

Planning.

I have two short stories to write for various things. I want to do a lot more for the Skulduggery short story collection coming out next year. I need to start thinking of Skulduggery Book Nine. And I have to get a handle of what I'm going to write AFTER. What book is going to coming out in 2015? What will the next series be?

So that's what I've been doing over the weekend.

But now that I have the first draft handed in, hopefully I'll be able to get back to posting here on a weekly basis, and being a bit more present on Twitter, and generally getting things back to normal. You've all been very patient while I've had my head down, and I appreciate it. As a reward, here's a thing.

The Synopsis

135,499 words and counting.

My editor has been asking me for a synopsis for ages now. They need it so that they can send it to sites like Amazon, so they can put it up to inform people what it is they'll be buying. I took a few minutes today to write it, and before I go to bed tonight, I figured my Minions deserved to see it first.


Last Stand of Dead Men:

War has finally come.

But it's not a war between good and evil, or light and dark- it's a war between Sanctuaries. For too long now, the Irish Sanctuary has teetered on the brink of world-ending disaster, and the other Sanctuaries around the world have had enough. Allies turn to enemies, friends turn to foes, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie must team up with the rest of the Dead Men if they're going to have any chance at all of maintaining the balance of power and getting to the root of a vast conspiracy that has been years in the making.

But while this war is only beginning, another war rages within Valkyrie herself. Her own dark side, the insanely powerful being known as Darquesse, is on the verge of rising to the surface. And if Valkyrie slips, even for a moment, then Darquesse will burn the world and everyone in it.

Temporary Silence

Look at this... don't even have the time to do a proper blog post...

LSODM is over 133,000 words right now and I promised my editor I'd have a reasonably finished first draft to him by the end of the week. That means no Twitter and no blogging, and very little internet presence at all. Even a half hour of writing a blog is a half hour of NOT writing the book, and I can't afford to do that right now. When the book is done, when it's finally done, business as usual will be resumed. Until then, this temporary silence continues.

And here's a fantastic picture for nerds.

Stormwatch

Let me tell you about Stormwatch.


Stormwatch was a comic published by Image, and it was a fairly generic superhero team book. I bought it, I collected it, I read it, and I suppose I enjoyed it. Not as much as WildCATS, not as much as Spawn or Gen-13, but probably more than CyberForce, which featured a guy with three arms called Stryker. Now THAT was dumb.

This was all during a time in the 90's when Image were seriously challenging Marvel and DC in comic sales. They challenged them by pretty much copying them. Spawn was kinda like Batman. WildCATS were kinda like X-Men. Glory was Wonder Woman, Supreme was Superman, and Youngblood was rubbish. Every superteam even had their own Wolverine- the tough-talking cool guy who used blades (and, this being the 90's, a ridiculous ponytail).



Stormwatch was fairly bad, when I look back on it now. Impossible muscles, stupid dialogue, impossible women, dumb stories, derivative characters... It got so that reading it was a chore. And then Warren Ellis came along.


Ellis took the book and improved it. But he didn't just make it better. He made it GREAT. He brought Big Ideas to the table, he brought wit and horror and pure science fiction, and he made it one of my favourites. As Stormwatch went on, it would introduce Apollo and the Midnighter- basically Superman and Batman- as a gay couple who just happened to be the toughest heroes around.


Stormwatch would later mutate into The Authority, and just get even better and better. If any of you like comics, I advise you to pick up the collected editions. You will NOT regret it.

But why am I telling you all this?

Because of one single issue. A special, actually. A crossover. WildCATS/Aliens.


When I saw this issue advertised, I didn't think much of it. Aliens, from the Ridley Scott/James Cameron movies, were always being used in comic crossovers. They'd gone up against Superman and Batman and Judge Dredd. None of these comics were particularly good. You knew nothing big was going to happen. If something major was going to occur in a comic, it would occur in the monthly version, not in some stupid crossover thing.

So WildCATS/Aliens came out, and I bought it, and I read it. The WildCATS go up into a space station to fight the Aliens. Big deal, right? But along the way they realise that Stormwatch had been here before them. And as they search this huge, scarily empty station, they come across their remains.

Ellis had killed most of the Stormwatch team— and what's more, he did off-panel. We didn't even get to see them die. That's like Captain America stumbling upon Spider-Man's dead body in the middle of a story. It was THAT shocking. To kill them in a silly crossover? To kill them without even showing us how they died?

Warren Ellis took what everyone expected to be a silly little issue, and he made it HUGE.

And that's the approach I took to The Maleficent Seven.

I didn't shake things up quite as violently as Ellis did, but I was determined to shock you. This was just a spin-off, after all. It didn't even take place within the main series. Your guard was down. You went in expecting fun and frolics and adventure, but nothing more. Nothing more devastating than that.

But of course, you should know by now to never, EVER trust me. I will make you care for a character, and then I will snatch that character away from you.

I just want to prepare you, that's all. We have two more books to go, and we have GALLONS of blood to be spilled.



Okay then, so what have I been up to lately?

Well, on March 30th I did signings in Blanchardstown and Dundrum here in Dublin. They both went REALLY well, and I started the Dundrum signing a tad early because of the insane Minions at the front of the queue. So many of them I knew from here in Blogland and also from Twitter, and dear GOD they would not stop talking. I could feel my brain sizzling in my head just sitting there. Joining them, and at the very front of the queue, was Val, from this very blog, who had come over with Amanda and her mom, all the way from Seattle JUST TO MEET ME.

Because I'm worth it.

Of course, I couldn't just sign their books and send them back to America, so the following Monday I picked them up from their hotel, gave them a tour of my AWESOME ROOM OF AWESOMENESS, introduced them to Sherlock the dog, and took them out for lunch. At no stage during those four and a half hours did Val or Amanda even pause for breath. It was SCARY.

From the 5th to the 7th of April I was over in the UK doing signings. It was really weird, to be honest. We were slap-bang in the middle of the Easter break, and London was SO quiet. We still got some pretty decent queues, but the lovely thing about shorter lines is that I can spend even more time chatting to each person.

The biggest turnout was at Norwich, and it was here that I got to hang out once again with Becky and Howlett, the two legendary Uber-Minions. Amazingly, every time I see them they have more stuff for me to sign. I'm not sure where they get this stuff from, or how many of each book they own, and I'm really not sure that I WANT to know. I just console myself with the fact that their obsession with Skulduggery is probably distracting them from another, more damaging obsession, like serial-killing or something.

Now I'm back at home, and I'm back writing, and I'd really like to get this book finished sometime over the next week or so. That'd be nice.

The Maleficent Seven

Ah, Tanith...

Who would have thought you'd be the star of your own book, six years after I had the White Cleaver stab you through the back? Not I, certainly. When I first started writing, I had no plans for you beyond that fight scene. But fate— and my agent— intervened, and you stayed alive, and I am so glad you did.

Now here you are, heading up The Maleficent Seven, going on sale today (in the countries where it IS going on sale, obviously). I had envisioned this as a tiny little book, just a fraction longer than The End of the World, which would keep my precious Minions from gnawing their own arms off in anticipation of the next Skulduggery instalment. But yet again, things did not go according to plan. Yet again, you surprised me. And when I looked up, TMS had morphed from a novella into a book. It's still pretty short, as books go, but it's a lot more substantial than originally intended.

Now then, what public engagements do I have before me to celebrate this launch? Well, this afternoon, between 5 and 6, I have a, er, "twinterview"... is that what they're calling it? Seriously? Anyway, I'll be answering a load of questions that came with the hashtag #AskDerek. Apparently.

Then on Friday I'll be heading into RTE in the morning for the show Elev8, where I'll be talking with the beautiful Diana. And a bloke.

Then on Saturday I have signings in Easons in Blanchardstown at 11 and Easons Dundrum at 3.

On April 5th, there's a public signing in WHSmith in Guildford at 1PM, and my only EVENT at the Stratford Picture House at 5.

On the 6th, I'll be signing in WHSmith in Brent Cross at 11, and Waterstones in Bury St Edmunds at 5.

On the 7th, there is a signing in Waterstones in Norwich at 12.

And that's it. I'm not really sure where the proposed Milton Keynes signing went. Dammit.

Over the next few months I'll be making appearances in Derry, the Hay Festival, Leeds, Wicklow, and Dublin. Further details will be announced closer to the time.

Let's see... anything else...? Oh! Those of you signed up for the newsletter should be receiving a very cool email shortly. For those of you who aren't, keep an eye on the snazzy new Skulduggery website. Pay attention to a little competition called Exquisite Corpse.

I have to get back to work now. This book will not write itself— no matter how much I might want it to.

PS The Comment Section on THIS post is the ONLY Comment Section where you can discuss TMS! As usual, try not to be TOO spoilery when it comes to details. If you liked a certain bit, don't mention names or EXACT details- anyone else who has read the book will know what you're talking about. Remember that there are always oddball Minions who will read the spoilers before they read the book, and then get really, really mad with you for spoiling it...

Stratford Picture House

You may have noticed me being pretty quiet over the last week or so, and for this I have a very good reason. I am writing a book. I'm over 115,000 words in but DEAR LORD I'm at that stage when I don't know if it'll EVER be finished. I'm supposed to be filling in the blanks right now- linking up scenes and sequences and getting the chapters in order and writing any little bits that I've left empty. But I'm still no closer to the end. How can this BE?

But before I get back to work, I have been asked to remind you all that my event at the Stratford Picture House on April 5th is the only public event I'll be doing for The Maleficent Seven. For those of you who don't know what a public event IS, it's basically me on stage yapping and answering questions for an hour, and then we go on to have a signing. All other appearances for TMS are just signings.

I've been asked to remind you about this because apparently there are lots of tickets available. Well, I'm ASSUMING there are lots of tickets available. The words used were "it's been slow to book", which means roughly the same thing. Maybe it's because it's the Easter holidays or it's the start of a weekend, but usually events pretty much sell out in a very short space of time. So Harper Collins publicity people are all going "uhhh... what's happening?"

Oh, and for those of you who have already booked tickets, don't you fret. If it IS a smaller crowd than usual, it just means the event will be more of a casual chat between all of us. And also you won't have to wait in line for hours.

But, uh, for all you others... book a ticket. Or something.

I'm getting back to work now. But before I do, two pictures of cats.

One cute.


One scary.

Sobs. And Moffat.

She's engaged.


Alexis Bledel. She's... engaged.

Long time Minions will know of my love for Gilmore Girls. They will know of my love for Alexis Bledel. They will know we are destined to be together.

Apparently, Alexis was the only one who did not know this.

I shall now weep manly tears and sniffle into manly hankies.

In other news, it emerged that my interview with Steven Moffat WAS recorded, and you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/trinityradio/steven-moffat-talks-to-the.

Germany!

I love German book fairs.

Every single one I've been to has been PACKED, and while that does tend to slow things down as you're trying to walk from one gigantic hall to the other, you really don't mind all that much. All these people crammed in around you are book-lovers, for god's sake. How annoyed can you actually be?

Over the weekend, I was at TWO German book fairs. The first one was in Cologne, on Friday evening, and I was up on stage with Rainer, the actor who does the German audiobooks, and Margarete, the translator. We've been doing this together for a few years now, so we're all quite comfortable with the process. The main difference between events in Germany and events everywhere else (apart from the need for a translator) is the emphasis put on the audio book. Rainer is as integral to the show as I am, and his readings make up half of our time on stage. The event in Cologne went wonderfully, and we had a really receptive audience, and I even spotted some familiar faces in the queue.

Once I'd finished signing, we went back to our hotel, where we had a very nice meal attended by the weirdest waiters I've ever encountered. One was tall, one was short, and they looked so alike that I started to suspect that they were the rejects from a batch of clones some mad professor had concocted in a dark and dingy lab. They were both wearing ill-fitting suits, both had the same type of glasses, and they both stood around and stared into space in the corners of the room while we were waiting to place our orders. So incredibly ODD.

Thankfully, we managed to escape the restaurant before they could kill us and harvest our organs to replace their own failing ones, and I got to my room and got into bed and put my head on the most deadly pillow the world has ever known. It was so big and so soft that when I put my head onto it, the whole thing folded up on either side and tried to suffocate me.

Convinced that the clone waiters were hovering outside my door, waiting for me to die, I slept without a pillow that night. I also slept sideways, because the double bed I'd been given was, in actual fact, two single beds pushed together, and I kept slipping down between them. Who knows what was waiting for me if I had slipped all the way? Scorpions? Tarantulas? Really lazy ninjas? Or maybe just a hole in the floor and a twisting slide that would deliver me to the mad professor's Experimentation Table of Doom?

I survived the night. Barely.

The next morning, we got a train to Frankfurt and then a plane to Leipzig. No attempts on my life were made during this time.

Leipzig Book Fair is half book festival and half comic convention. There are all these people dressed as Manga characters roaming around, chatting on their phones, browsing book shelves. Also, all of Germany had had a pretty bad winter, and there was piles of snow everywhere and it was pretty damn cold— and in the middle of it all you have these really cute German girls walking around in bizarre costumes that don't really cover a whole lot. They must have been FREEZING.

We did our first event, and although we only had a half an hour, it went very well. Such a huge crowd. The signing went on forever, and it was so cool seeing that many people wanting me to scrawl my signature over whatever they had.

The moment we were finished there we got in a car and drove to a graveyard. Because that's what you do once night falls, obviously.

We went to a huge sarcophagus-type place and we yapped in front of 200 people, doing our best to ignore the deep hole behind us with the old coffin. So just an average Saturday night, then...

Once that was done with, we went to dinner with a bunch of other people, including American author Maggie Stiefvater, and I sat at a big table with a bunch of people speaking German all around me. Best night EVER! Well, not quite. But Maggie is a funny lady.

Then I got back to my hotel. This time, my bed was a proper double bed, but the waiters had obviously followed me from Cologne because those damn pillows tried to drown my head again.

Sunday was my last day there. It was also Saint Patrick's Day.

(That's St PADDY'S Day, in its shortened version. Not St PATTY'S Day, as some Americans insist on calling it...)

I had an interview to do in the morning, and then I had two hours off before my event, so I went wandering through the halls. It was all so incredibly strange, and wonderfully so. It made me wish that Irish book festivals were like this. Imagine if The Mountains to the Sea festival had hundreds of teenagers walking around dressed as characters from comics and books. That would ROCK.

We did our event, signed for an enormous amount of people, and then I was whisked off to the airport to catch my first flight. I arrived back to my front door a little under eight hours later, tired but happy to be home, and looking forward to spending a night with my head on a pillow that doesn't try to kill me.

World Book Day Yay!

Okay, about to get in the car and drive to Kildare for my event with Alex Barclay, but I was checking my emails and wandered onto the Facebook site and saw this...


I hope Karina Hauge doesn't mind me posting her picture here. I just thought...

... wow...

A signed book to the first Minion who gets Skulduggery tattooed on their FACE!