Hope Vestergaard's Blog, page 4

Vintage Advice: Secrets of Charm

Secrets of Charm

Secrets of Charm, by John Robert Powers and Mary Sue Miller

Art by Georgia Bloch

(John C. Winston Company, 1954)

Nota bene: this book deserves several visits. I will spread them out among other vintage advice posts, however, because I understand that everyone (e.g., crazy people) may not find it as charming as I do.

Even the very title of this book is beguiling: I love discussions of charm, and I love secrets. Some days, I even yearn to be more charming. (Other days, I am quite content with my curmudgeonly tendencies). Sold!

From the introduction:

WHAT IS CHARM?*

“When you praised her as charming, some asked what you meant,

But the charm of her presence was felt where she went.”**

–Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Mr. Charm: John Robert Powers

“No one before or since has been able to better this description. You cannot define charm in a word, measure it with a ruler, weigh it on a scale. Still, we know when we are in its presence; we are warmed by it and made to feel that life is good….The secrets of fulfilling your individual talent for charm are told in these pages. However, reading the secrets over or daydreaming about them will not make them yours. Bring consistent efforts to their application, and your power to charm becomes limitless.”

More powers to you,

–John Robert Powers

I love, love, love the line about being warmed by the presence of charm and being made to feel that life is good. That also describes being in the presence of a dear friend, doesn’t it? I also like the admonishment that one must act to increase charm…as with many important pursuits (parenting, writing, sports), a big payoff is based less on precocious natural talent than it is a result of persistent, focused effort.

I looked up Mr. Powers. He was almost exactly as I pictured him, except for some reason I thought his eyebrows would be more John Waters-esque. John Robert Powers (April 16, 1892 – November 1977) was an actor and the founder of a widely successful talent agency or modeling school, depending on whom you ask. It’s still in business today and boasts famous alumni including Tyrone Power, Rosalind Russell, Cary Grant, Montgomery Clift, Marlene Dietrich, Lauren Bacall, Grace Kelly and Raquel Welch among many others, as well as contemporary celebrities such as Janice Dickinson, Josh Duhamel, Nikki Taylor, and Brenda Song.

INDIVIDUALLY YOURS (second intro)

“…A most important point to remember always is that a charming personality is not made of whole cloth by assembly-line or carbon-copy techniques. Quite oppositely, it is woven of hand-picked threads into a highly individual pattern….In the end, your best self cannot fail to materialize, and in delighting others, attract the joys and triumphs you desire the most.”

–Mary Sue Miller

Textile-phile that I am, I appreciate the fact that Ms. Miller used a fabric metaphor. I didn’t have luck finding out much biographical information about her. She was the author of the syndicated fashion column, “A Lovelier You” and several beauty books. I found her picture (below), and discovered she was married to Albert G. Miller, a radio script writer and, drumroll, please… a prolific children’s author! Nice little coincidence.

THE BOOK!

I try to keep blog posts under 1000 words, so I won’t go very deep today except to preview some tantalizing topics with you:

Charming of Form
Charming of Grace (including diagrams of charming hand gestures)
Charming of Dress (with a Two-Year Blueprint wardrobe purchasing plan)
Charming of Face (including a section called Make-Down!)
Your Crowning Glory (hair care, with a discussion of “Dr. Diet and Dr. Quiet”… I can’t wait, can you?!)
The Bandbox Look (meaning stylishly put-together)***
You, The Charmer (A pleasantly optimistic send-off.)

One section of Charming of Grace particularly caught my eye:



The Little Graces

Head tilt; facial expressions; your smile; the eyes have it; enter madame; parting impressions; no stoop, no squat; streamlined action; model ways; mermaidiana; grace absolute.

I’ll end this teaser with the book’s opening promise:

Your most charming self will unfold with the last page of this book if you begin here, on the first page, to see yourself as others see you. Start at once…look back with the eyes of a stranger… Appraise the good, the bad, and the indifferent, all as objectively as you can see.

This directive also applies to writing. Say it with me:

Your most charming manuscript will unfold itself if you begin to see it as others see do. Look back through the eyes of a stranger.

That’s my takeaway for the day, and it’s serendipitous because I have 40,000 words that could be considerably more charming than they currently are!

–Hope

*Observation: Apparently the definition of charm is not unlike the definition of porn: “I know it when I see it.” Tawk amongst yourselves.

**In case you are grumbling about never seeing books that exhort men to work on their charm…never fear! I have one!

***I had to look up the bandbox reference. Thanks to Andrea Lovejoy for doing my homework for me.

Favorite Things Friday: Hitty!

Hitty and Hattie

I have a large collection of children’s books that I have to cull from time to time to make space for new favorites or rediscovered treasures. Some of my books are never up for relocation, however. Newbery award-winning HITTY: Her First Hundred Years written by Rachel Field, illustrated by Dorothy P. Lathrop (published in 1929 by MacMillan, my edition is from 1964) is a keeper.

I first read Hitty when I was 8 or 9. I can’t count how many times since then that I have read this book about a tiny wooden doll who writes her memoirs as she travels the world by accident, always with a plucky positivity that makes you both cheer and ache for her. I don’t need to describe Hitty if you’ve already met her, and I don’t want to reveal too much if you haven’t yet. This book is super charming and it’s best if the reader is allowed to relish every observation Hitty makes and relive every adventure she experiences. (If you have already read The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo, you will recognize many nods to Hitty in retrospect.)

I loved dolls as a kid, still do. I do not love creepy, untouchable, too-lifelike  dolls at all. But I adore a well-worn doll like the title character in The Best-Loved Doll by Rebecca Caudill (and not unlike the slightly tattered blankets I collect). I always hoped I’d find my own special, legendary doll worthy of bringing to a party. One day Hattie (pictured above with the book) arrived by mail. She was a husk doll from Hawaii, a gift from my godfather Clarence who was living on Oahu at the time. Peek inside the book and you’ll see why I was especially thrilled: My Hawaiian Hattie was as close to Hitty as I thought a doll would ever get, right down to the tiny pearls on her wedding gown.

Ta-Da! Hitty dressed as a bride

Fast forward to several years ago, when I stumbled across an online article that said (as I recall–I can’t find the original source now–was it a dream?!) that Rachel Field’s homestead in Maine was for sale, virtually intact with original furnishings, etc. because of its remote island location. You can see recent pictures of the place here, it appears to be happily occupied and pretty much intact! (Sadly, there goes my secret dream of perusing the abandoned homestead in search of undiscovered manuscripts, trinkets, and other treasures.) Another website, hittypreble.com, details the real-life inspiration for many elements of the story. As a testament to the character’s charm and the book’s staying power, there are dozens of websites selling Hitty dolls and accessories, swapping stories about collectors’ Hitty dolls, or even holding Hitty meet-ups. You can see the original Hitty doll at the Stockbridge, MA Library Museum.

I don’t have many relics from my childhood because we moved many times. Since I was one of the oldest kids, many of my things were “used up” by my younger siblings, but I am so happy that I managed to keep my Hattie doll safe all these years, and that I was able to find a copy of the book just like the one I loved to shreds when I was younger. If you do read Hitty now, come back and let me know how you found her!

Vintage Advice: Party Plans for Teens

Party Plans for Teens

Today’s Vintage Advice book is Party Plans for Teens by Kate Harris, published by Follett Publishing Company in 1966. I was lucky enough to get my hands on a first edition of this gem.*

The jacket flap suggests it’s for ages 12 and up. I think that should be revised: 12-year-olds during the two weeks prior to starting middle school through the end of the first two weeks of school. I know that’s a very small window, but it’s the only one I can see working: in that anxious time before starting 6th or 7th grade when you are bursting with nervous energy and worried about being cool and making friends and stuff, planning a party might be a good outlet and having a theme would give you focus. But you’d have to throw the party during the first week or two of school before the dust settles. Because within those first couple of weeks, someone else will have a party. It will either be an awesome, free-form gathering of sociable kids, or an awkward, over-planned gathering of reluctant captives. A free-form party can also stink, but I can’t imagine a party planned with this book being anything but awkward, much less awesome.

How bad can it be? you may ask. You be the judge. The book proffers 47 different party themes, organized by month, plus a bonus chapter: Parties Just for Girls. I think that one should have been entitled, Parties Just for Grandmas: Pajama Party, Telephone Party, Fashion Tea, Sewing Bee. See what I mean?

February is interesting. There’s a Valentine’s party (curiously called “Hearts to You” Dance)—not so unusual. There are also not one, but TWO presidential parties: a George’s Day Party and an Abraham Lincoln Party: because twelve-year-olds love to talk about dead presidents in their free time. The strangest February suggestion is a party called Lawn Dance in the Basement (which honestly sounds like an awesome band name to me). Knowing what we know about drab and dreary 1960s basements…brown, burnt orange, mustard yellow, shag carpets, vinyl furniture…I understand why this party includes so many details for décor:

Invitations should feature gay summer colors and ribbon.
Lawn furniture can be brought inside to sit on artificial turf or green carpets.
Artificial flowers and trees will brighten up the place.
Stuffed animals scattered about the “lawn” give an authentic outdoor feel.
Paper butterflies hanging from the ceiling will make your basement come to life.
And…last, but certainly not least… audio of singing birds playing as your guests arrive will really “spring” up the atmosphere .

Suggested Basement Lawn games include a Daisy dance where boys use fake daisies as relay batons to cut in on girls with their dancing partners, croquet, and badminton. YOLO!

Maybe you are thinking that things were different when this book was published in the 1960s. Perhaps kids were more naïve, entertainment was more wholesome. A little poking around on the internet turned up this Kirkus review:

We opened this book with an open mind, but our two teen-agers were less judicial: they simply hooted. In this vast collection of party ideas from January to December there are a few games which, stripped of their fancy trappings, might be good fun, but the majority are just too precious for true-blooded teens. The author calls one of these shindigs Corny Capers and that about sums it up. –Kirkus (source)

I momentarily thought this was a contemporary review of an old title. It sounded like something a parent of middle schoolers reading this book today might say. But no, this review was from 1966. So I think we can assume that the disconnect between the subject and the audience is not just a matter of changing times.

I do like to find something positive to say about a book. Upon further reflection, I can think of two other more appropriate audiences for this particular collection of party-throwing tips.

Retirement Community Social Events Coordinators: almost all of this stuff looks like great fun for a bunch of senior citizens who are trapped under the same roof and need occasions to help mark the passage of time. For the sweet and innocent old-fashioned seniors, these parties would be a lovely throwback to the good old days. For the surly, foul-mouthed seniors at the other end of the sociability spectrum, these parties would provide endless fodder for kvetching. Those seniors in the middle could pick sides depending on their mood.
Elementary School Room Parents: not middle school, mind you, but elementary school. Many of these games would be enjoyable for 7-11 year olds. If they were organized for a captive audience by overzealous room parents, the kids could “grudgingly” participate in activities that they would TOTALLY find fun but not want to ADMIT to being excited about. I mean – A Mother Goose Party? With Costumes? And a Lollipop Dance? PERFECTION!

And now I’m off to see if my 8 year old nephew’s teacher will let me plan an Ides of March party. Et tu, Travis?

*This is a publishing joke. First editions of unexpectedly popular books are considered a collector’s delight.

Favorite Things Friday: Quilts!

Boone, my partner in quilt appreciation

I have always been a blanket hound.

When I was little, my mom sewed us blankets that were corduroy on one side and colorful polyester on the other. They were edged with silky binding, which I loved to finger as I sucked my thumb and/or relaxed. Eventually, I wore each one to shreds, but I never wanted to give them up. So we’d pick out a new silky fabric (my favorite one that I remember had a green background and panda bears playing with balls all over it) and voila, I’d get a new blanket right about the time the tattered old one mysteriously disappeared.

I have also always been a bit of a princess and the pea sleeper – sensitive to the texture and weight and colors of bedding. Which isn’t to say I can’t sleep on rough bedding, but I’d rather not. I really do appreciate a soft percale or time-worn cotton sheets. When I went to college, I bought a comforter from JC Penney: light blue on one side, navy on the other. It was just the right softness and heft. 20+ years later that blanket is still kicking around my house somewhere, albeit in a very flat state.

As an adult, I have a nostalgic appreciation for blankets, particularly the personalized, well-loved varieties. When my sister (we call her Pilly) started quilting, I thought I might try that, too. But I was too casual about measuring and piecing and my mistakes magnified exponentially over the course of large projects until they looked like  reflections in a funhouse mirror. So I started sewing birds and smaller projects using vintage fabrics and found much satisfaction there.

My lovely soft Pilly-quilt.

One year Pilly gave me a most amazing gift: a vintage quilt top that she had rescued from a thrift store and finished and bound. It was silky soft cotton, featured beautiful bright vintage fabrics, and was obviously a labor of love. When she confessed she had “merely” finished someone else’s handiwork, I loved it even more. Unfinished craft projects at thrift stores had always made me sad because I assumed the creator had given up after a lot of work, or worse, passed away. Finishing unfinished quilts hits all sorts of sweet spots for me: it saves me the most challenging work, it recycles existing goods, it finds a good home for someone’s hours of labor, and the end product is one of my favorite things…a blanket!

This is also a good use for my superpower (thrifting) and one of my compulsions: finding homes for things. Finishing vintage quilts lets me have them at reasonable prices…I’ve found plenty of gorgeous quilts but they are usually priced at least $175 and up (with good reason — so much work!). I can get a beautiful unfinished quilt top for $20 or so. So that’s my new hobby. I recently finished my first repurposed quilt for a dear friend. I had so much fun picking out the colors and patterns for sashing. The time I spend putting together a quilt is almost like spending time with the person it’s for.

I occasionally come across a real steal of a finished vintage quilt, too. Here’s an adorable vintage baby quilt that I found for $2.42 at a thrift.

I didn’t have a baby to buy it for at that moment in time, but I couldn’t leave it at the store. (It has since found a good home with my sister’s kids).

One of my favorite thrifting finds ever is this enormous crazy quilt – it covers a queen-sized bed.

Isn't it GORgeous?

The fabrics are all gorgeous and the colors are so vibrant and the thing is – hang on to your hats – entirely hand-sewn and quilted. It is an insane amount of work. And I paid $30 for it after careful consideration. I look back and laugh because I had to think twice about the purchase: $30 at Value World usually buys me a cart full of clothes! But I went ahead and “splurged” and am so happy for having done so every time I wrap myself up in it or see someone else in my family seek it out. (Even the dogs).

Vintage Advice: Cosmetology

Today’s Vintage Advice comes from The Lu-Art Beauty Academy Standard Textbook of Cosmetology from Saginaw and Bay City, MI. First published in 1938, my edition is from 1961.

I hardly know where to begin, there’s so much good stuff here, but I guess I will start with the book’s opening quiz: Will you be a success or a failure? Apparently the good folks at Lu-Art have got this down to a science.

Will you be a success?

Be punctual.
Be courteous.
Be neat, clean, and attractive.
Be gentle.
Mind your own business.

This advice could lead to success in many walks of life, but the bottom line is the most telling:

TO BE SUCCESSFUL—you must learn to do little things that will make people like you.

So very true.

I do realize, of course, that that line can be interpreted as suggestion that one should kowtow to others. As a recovering people pleaser, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I choose to interpret the statement in a more positive light: relationships are important, and/or sometimes a little effort can have a big payoff. But I do understand that trying to anticipate the proper little things for any given person or situation can be overwhelming. So I have boiled down all the items on the Lu-Art checklist into two words that I believe will determine your success or failure in almost any venture: Pay Attention.

Isn’t that easier to remember? It’s certainly true of writing: knowing your audience makes all the difference in the world. But it’s also true of getting along in life: parenting, working, being on committees, etc. Be mindful of whom you’re talking to or working with. What are their interests? Needs? Skills? Challenges? Giving speeches got so much easier for me when I stopped worrying about what people thought of me (the speaker) and started paying attention to what they wanted and needed to hear about.

This book has so much more to teach: Hygiene and Personality, Finger Waving, Theory of Massage, Removal of Superfluous Hair, Corrective Hairstyles and Makeup…I can hardly wait to soak up all it has to offer. The corrective actions are not judgmental, by the way. They’re quite matter-of-fact. “Do you have broad, muscular, square shoulders? Select a hairstyle having soft qualities, diagonal waves, and curls. Avoid horizontal lines in hairstyle.” I can think of so many young women who are sporting the currently popular super long, flat-ironed hair that requires much time and attention yet does nothing for their features. What’s more important, having a lovely head of hair that looks like everyone else’s, or having a lovely head of hair that brings out your pretty eyes or works well with your lifestyle, i.e., daily swim practice?

This is something that surprises me about vintage beauty advice books — as strenuous as expectations for grooming etc. were for women in the past, there seems to be a lot more acceptance of physical variety. Nowhere does this book focus on weight as the primary indicator of one’s beauty. In fact, it repeatedly says dieting and poor nutrition make a woman less attractive rather than more so. Which is sooo refreshing after being bombarded with grocery checkout magazines that imply that most woman are only ‘X’ pounds away from real beauty (and implied success and happiness).

Do you accept responsibility?

Don’t get the wrong impression – I don’t think this book is perfect. I laughed and laughed at the personality quiz (10 items, 40% of which have to do with physical appearance). The scoring notes suggest that these ten items can determine whether you have an excellent, good, fair, or poor personality, as though “who you are” is something that can be quantified. I’m thinking there’s no one “excellent” personality. This is a perfect example of the adage, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Someone you might find charming could be totally off-putting to others and vice versa. Which is good, because it means there are plenty of friends and mates to go around. Different strokes for different folks.

Still, I give this advice book two (well-manicured) thumbs up, for balance, body acceptance, and unintentionally humorous detours.

Favorite Things Friday!

Vintage Cook Books

In pursuit of a two-year-old New Year’s resolution (never surrender!), I’m going to try to be a better blogger this year. Not because I think anyone is waiting with bated breath for my musings, but because I know regular writing is really good exercise. To ease myself into it, I have two regular topics to fall back on in addition to anything that occurs to me. One will be Favorite Things Friday, a nod to Barbara O’Connor’s  Things I Love Thursday posts. My first Favorite Things Friday item is VINTAGE BOOKS!

I am charmed by most aspects of vintage books: typeface, vocabulary, silky pages, fancy end papers, charming spot illustrations, old-fashioned spellings. Cookie looks so much cuter spelled cooky as it is in my 1930’s cookbooks. I especially love vintage advice books, and not just for the actual advice, some of which is very practical (wash windows with white vinegar and newspaper. No streaks, no lint!). I love what they say about the author and the way they provide a kind of snapshot of society at that point in time. Sometimes old advice books have helpful suggestions. And sometimes the most useful takeaway is not to behave as the book would have you do!

Today’s favorite thing leads me to what will be my other regular feature: Vintage Advice. I will select tidbits from my collection of advice books and share them with anyone who needs to know how to plan a fantastic (!) party for teenagers, improve their complexion, refine their bedside manners, and/or become a better dancer. There’s more, so much more, but you’ll have to wait!

Best Banana Bread Ever!

I don’t have a source for this recipe, my only copy is a tattered page torn out of one of those community cookbooks. It’s a great recipe, as those community/church/PTO collection recipes often are! I lost track of it for a couple years and mourned it every time I tried a new banana bread recipe that didn’t hit the mark. But it’s back!

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tablespoon grated orange zest
1 cup mashed brown banana (2-3 bananas)
2 cups unsifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup buttermilk
optional: 1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans and/or 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease two loaf pans or one bundt pan.

Combine flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl, set aside. In a large bowl, use electric mixer on medium speed to cream butter, sugar, eggs, and orange peel until light and fluffy. Beat in banana.

With mixer on low speed, gradually add dry ingredients, then buttermilk. Beat just until smooth. Fold in nuts and chocolate, if desired.

Spread batter in pan(s) and bake: 40-45 minutes for bundt pan, 50-55 for loaf pans, or until toothpick inserted near center of pan comes out clean.

I would post a picture but everybody ate it too quickly to snap one–it’s that good! I prefer the bundt pan version with or without nuts. The chocolate chips are also yummy but push the bread over into “cake” category because they make it so rich.

It’s a girl!

This year we have had three holiday calves: a Valentine’s calf (Little Billy), an Easter calf, and now, a Thanksgiving calf!

Meet Mayflower, whose name was suggested by clever calf auntie Kelly DiPucchio!

Hello, World!

Okay, she didn’t arrive exactly on Thanksgiving, but that’s probably my fault. I announced her impending arrival and a watched cow never calves. Susie waited til the wee small hours of this morning. We checked her late last night and all was calm. By this morning, she’d had a calf, cleaned her up, and both were ready for breakfast.

It never gets old!

Retreat! Advance!

I had been hoping to schedule a writing retreat all summer, but between pigs and kids and uncertain vacation plans, it wasn’t coming together. But as we headed (mournfully) into the last couple of weeks before Labor Day, it happened! A friend found a perfect place and I and one more writer friend were available! We hightailed it to Michigan’s lovely west coast for approximately 48 hours of intense work, problem solving, quiet time, and great conversation.

We three were the perfect match: a good balance of quiet workers and chat breakers. We went for long walks into Saugatuck and let local restaurants cook us delicious dinners. In between we worked, meditated (okay, napped!), and remembered what it feels like when you put yourself in the right literal and figurative space so your creative mojo can work its magic. I wrote and wrote and wrote!

We also played. What a delightful way to wind down the summer. Thanks, gals, for making it happen!

Pig News Channel

In response to popular demand, I’m loading piglet videos on my youtube channel.

Here’s a sample: