Roger McEwan's Blog, page 3

The "good enough" parent

 

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

— George Carlin

The phrase "the good enough mother" was coined by the British paediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott in his book Playing and Reality. It is described well on the website Psychology Today and it is how mothers need to alter their parenting from a complete focus on their baby (perfect) to one that allows the baby to start to develop cognitively (good...

Alcohol & Teenagers

 

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.

— Matt Groening

I think we, that’s New Zealand (or most western world countries for that matter) as a whole, are doing a pretty poor job when it comes to alcohol. I was able to reflect on this on an unexpected, and unwanted, trip to ED.

I spent a chapter of my first book looking at alcohol from the perspective of drinking as a parent but now my children are well into their teenage years, I’m being confronted with a...

Learning parenting

 

Happenstance - a circumstance especially that is due to chance. They came together by mere happenstance.

— Merriam-Webster.com

www.someecards.com

Biology is as close as our education system gets to teaching us about parenting. Maths, science, geography, English, history physical education, chemistry etc help us make sense of the world and what we want to “be” as an individual. Biology focuses on human reproduction rather than parenting though this, in part, helps us avoid being a pare...

The danger for nuclear family dads

With the release of The Single Dad’s Guide to the Galaxy, I’ve been propelled at least a little into the spotlight, and I’ve found myself answering in-depth questions about all manner of parenting subjects. This was unexpected, and the questions - which are often insightful - have forced me to reflect quite deeply in order to sound vaguely intelligent.

A broad theme that naturally emerges in these interviews is around the difficulties of being a single dad. What I didn’t realise at the time I...

Father's Day - Time for Reflection (as well as gifts)

An individual without information can’t take responsibility. An individual with information can’t help but take responsibility.

— Jan Carlzon  

For those who like a more visual approach, try this vlog . . .

 

I was surprised to learn that Father’s Day has quite a history and, according to Wiki, dates back to at least the Middle Ages. As with most of these traditions it can trace its inception via religion and was historically observed on 19 March, as the feast day of Saint Joseph, who is refe...

A life lesson from self-publishing

There is a mountain of material on the internet about self-publishing. Some of it’s useful, most of it isn’t. Many simply want to add you to their email list or sell you their guaranteed method to a “six figure income” via webinars (which are actually advertorials). It sounds too good to be true because it is. The real problem with this mountain of information is that you’re only able to judge good advice after you have self-published which is a catch twenty-two.

I’m in the process of self-pub...

The little things all matter

We forget the little things, so it’s no wonder some of us screw up the big things

— Neil Cavuto

It is easy to forget that our world is made up of millions and millions of small events. Sure, it’s punctuated with the odd 9/11 type huge event but, in the main, you will speak and interact with people hundreds of times each day and the majority of these exchanges are the minutia of life. Your children interact with you and get to see you interact with others all day every day. It is these inte...

Driving Lessons

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

— George Carlin

One of a parents milestones is upon me, teaching my first born to drive. He has just passed his theory and is now able, under the watchful gaze of a responsible adult (i.e. me), to be let loose on the road.

I think my Ex was quite keen to teach him but we have had a change in family circumstances which has meant Rog will be living far more with me and, sadl...

Your life - Their life

Admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery.

— Thomas Hodge

One of the most common and insidious forms of family violence is the unwanted attention of an ex. You have separated but they believe they are entitled to have a say in your life and this is especially the case if there are children involved.

There are a range of signs that abuse is happening and I’ll write these from victim’s perspective.

Your ex appears suddenly in a manner that coincidence simply cannot explain....

Getting Ahead Financially

Sometimes I feel like a pelican - whichever way I turn I still have an enormous bill in front of me.

— Blackadder the Third

It’s a conspiracy. Every time I’m making some ground financially bills appear from everywhere. I can cope, usually, with the bills that I create myself and at the moment I’m in the middle of publishing my book and that is placing a strain on the family fortunes. But, I had allowed for those costs and planned accordingly. It’s the unexpected bills that get me and my...