L.T. Marshall's Blog, page 7

Life Update

How are you all doing? Is the festive season looming in fast and furious and making you wish you had a one-way ticket to vacation anywhere but here?

Yup, me too.

This year, me and my kids decided to bypass the normal Christmas day for a day of food, films, and games…this will be the first anniversary of the loss of my dad-in-law, and it feels completely wrong to want to spend a ton of money on gifts for that day. We lost a family member, so this year, the first, he won’t be a part of it. We should make it about enjoying the family here instead.

I have been throwing myself into work instead of the usual Christmas organizing and setting my mind to designing and uploading. Got to boost that passive income when the wages of an author are somewhat pitiful.

So if you knit – follow my Etsy – https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LianaOCF

If you collect notebooks and planners- follow my amazon – https://www.amazon.co.uk/ideas/amzn1.account.AEVHFAIUBJKG6MPIVTBLGRL7V7BA/1K3EMCDMZ8KXL

If you want to read my latest books – links are here – https://ltmarshall.com/home/my-books/

If you want to support our youtube and watch us travel to South Korea – here we go – https://www.youtube.com/@leanloo8873

Every penny helps.

Read Til Death Do Us Part

I released it to Amazon a while back but thought I would share this one on my blog.

Sohla Kim has everything you could want in life. Born rich and smart to a family that has status, money, and power while dominating the investment world. A pre-set betrothment to her childhood best friend, Jyeon Park. The handsome, equally wealthy, and smart future heir of OLO, their joint family company. An unbreakable bond between two families, a future that looks bright and rosy. Only the perfect picture is only that, and ten years on, alone, holding her head above water in a loveless marriage laced with tragedy, her entire world is turned upside down. Everything she thought she had and knew comes crashing down one fateful night. New waters, new faces, and a denial of the past will bring her back full circle to really question everything she was born for. Was it always about money? Was she always a tool to elevate Jyeon to higher levels? Did none of them really love her?GET THE BOOK – https://mybook.to/Tildeathdouspart

When Heaven and Hell Collide (book idea)

So, for no reason, late one night, I had an urge to write an angel-based chapter for a story. Sometimes I do this when compiling future book ideas, and sometimes I have an idea and save a cover for it to bookmark the plan. So, because I wrote it until late into the AMs I figured I would share this rough draft with you and ask who would read an angel-based romance.

It’s not my usual direction but this inspiration hit me out of the blue and love the idea of an angel and a fallen angel separated by a choice, but then having to work against one another to keep balance and order.

Enjoy!!!

Chapter 1 (rough draft)

“Your choice was Lucifer…. You have all lost your way and now must pay the consequences. There is no forgiveness in this! Your punishment is set, and there’s no coming back from it.” Castah pushes Runa away from him with a force that reverberates through the room, and he stumbles back. Having been standing his ground and arguing this outcome and its unjustness.

His wings are thrown wide to steady himself, not losing his footing even if he has slipped back several feet. Maintaining his death glare on our superior. Castah making space with a blast of energy meant to disable those trying to escape the chaos around us and not holding back from harming those of us innocently spectating. Guards are pushing in Angelics from every door as many of us witness this cruel end.

Today is the day Castah, head of the sentinels, carries out the ruling from father on those who have betrayed his love.

Based on Castah’s rage and betrayal, we are all hit with a second blast ball to discourage more like Runa from challenging him. A boom of wind and force. My legs give out, and I topple with everyone in the great hall to a cluttered mess on the floor, crying out in anguish as the burn of his force eats through us. Like a sonar explosion, my wings instinctively come around me to shield myself from the pain. A veil of fluffy white softness embraces me, feathers ruffling and soothes the intensity of impact before they flop down around my hips and legs in fatigue. I once again view the catastrophe of seeing our kin leaving us.

My heart is shredding like it’s being torn apart. My tears are endless, and my body throbs. Begging with sincerity for the forgiveness of those who do not yet see the error of their ways. We cannot let them go. We cannot see them torn out like an unwanted splinter and cast aside. They are ours.

Fat droplets roll down my face as we witness the banishment of our brethren. The ripping apart of our kind whose sole purpose for existence was to be united in peace and harmony and to serve our father. To guard what he created and push the love and kindness of his vision. Not this, not the destruction of our souls. Not seeing them thrown down to a world they have no understanding of and castrated from his love and protection. They won’t survive. They don’t know how.

“Please Castah….They don’t know what they’re doing. Lucifer has twisted their minds into believing they are treated as worthless beings of servitude and that humans are the only loved creations of our lord. Once he’s gone, give them time….to come to their senses. To see the truth.” Leeno begs at the feet of our superior, her soft white wings tucked back and low as a sign of submission behind her flowing white robes on the pale marble floor, but he is not willing to listen.

“They betrayed our father…. they will reap the rewards of following their new leader. Lucifer and his first followers are already banished to the mortal world. Let them find their own place with those they want to corrupt.” Castah is filled with a venom that we rarely see. As one of the four horsemen who serves father, he has never been as pure as us, the angels of love and light. He’s capable of anger and hostility, showing fully now.

“He doesn’t want to corrupt them… he wants to save them. He wants to free them from this indoctrinated slavery that father demands .” Malachi is brave in getting to his feet and firing back words like poison arrows. I cover my ears and cry silently, praying for him to bring them all to their senses. These words I have heard repeated by Runa these last days bring fear and anger.

Lucifer is a rebellious angel with a sense of grandeur and self-love that was never ingrained into our creation. He thinks god loves his mortals beyond us, and we are just vessels made to serve and protect them. He has convinced many we are so unworthy to be near his human children that we are never allowed in the world he created for them. He believes we dwell in the space and heavens around his precious planets because we do not deserve our own sanctuary. He is twisted and cannot see how ridiculous that is. So many of our kin have listened and believe in what he says. Calling into question why we are so worthless to our father.

Lucifer has fornicated with his other, Deliah… they committed a sin by laying together like humans do and profess to have emotions for one another that are not of sister and brother for which we were told we are. Father has always told us that we are of one kind and one creation, and our love for one another is pure and of children. We are raised in unity as siblings, and what Lucifer has done has brought shame to the heavens. An act reserved only for mortals who need to create a new life of their own. We are forbidden from such things. It’s punishable by destruction.

“Do you hear yourself? You’re the ones who need to be freed from this foolishness. You have thrust a sword in the heart of the one who gave you life. You are despicable.” Castah lifts his hand, the energy emanating in a powerful white globe as it builds, and Runa once again gets to his feet. Defiant to the last, he stands tall and strong against Castah, opening his vast wings wide and flexing them to show he will fight to the end. His dark hair falls over his flawless face, his skin moist with sweat from the pain inflicted on us, his body tense, and his muscles rigid. On show from the way his robes have been torn in the battle to be brought here. Runa is a perfect specimen, made in his image like all of us were. Physical perfection. I can’t tear my eyes from him, breaking inside because I don’t know how to stop him.

I have tried. Weeping, begging, talking to him endlessly since this began, he refuses to yield. I am the only one who can ever sway him in all things, but in this, even I failed.

I know we don’t have much time left. The trial is done, the punishment set and father has turned his back in broken-hearted pain on those who have betrayed him. Refuses to see them or us. Now we are here to watch them leave our heavens and forever roam in a world we cannot touch. My eternal life will be an empty shell without my other to serve by my side in this realm.

“Runa, no, please.” I reach for him, grabbing his hand, holding on with fear, and hoping I can sway him. It’s not too late. He hasn’t done anything that won’t earn forgiveness.

I can’t breathe through the hysteria at knowing this will be the last time I see him if he chooses to follow the word of that serpent blindly. They have been condemned and won’t ever return. Father will never change his mind. The wound cuts too deeply.

“If you are one of the banished, what am I to do?” I sob at him.

He turns to me with a teary-eyed waver of emotion and regret. Furrowed brow as he focuses on my face and then tugs his wrist out of mine as though my touch burns him. Stubborn determination in the set of his beautiful jaw. Dark eyes match the dark shadow that has taken hold of his heart. I can feel the agony of his choice pulsating at me. So in tune with the one who shares my very being.

“Siyu, come with me…… Lucifer is offering another way. We can be free from these chains. We will also have a will of our own. Like the mortals, we can choose how to live. We can choose how to love…. We can have freedom over our own emotions and actions. We can stop fighting how much we mean to one another. Choose how we spend our days.” His pleading expression tears my heart in two. My eyes fill with tears rolling down my face, and my heart shatters. The pain of his words, knowing he means to follow Lucifer and Deliah in their sins, scars me. Defiling our bond and leading me astray.

“I can’t…. I don’t want to follow him. It’s wrong…this is not who we are or what we were made for.” I grab for his wrist again, aware that Castah is opening a portal in the wall of the main hall and sending all angels who follow the word of a turned brother into a world we’ve never been allowed to touch. The dust clouds, particles, and stars appear out into the empty space of nothingness with a distant view of the beloved planet they are to aim for. Fear grips me as time ticks slowly away.

“Don’t do this… don’t leave me.” He can’t. We were formed from a  singular speck of stardust, him and me. We are destined to always be side by side in serving our father. He is the other half of me. We share one soul as father intended. Centuries with him always beside me, since our creation…I don’t know how to cope without him. We have never parted.

“I can’t stay. I’m sorry. Siyu…… I can’t go on living this way. Not for eternity. Not standing by your side while you only obey. My loyalty and faith are destroyed. My eyes have been opened, and my sight is clear. We too have a right to free will.” He steps away from me, a symbolic stance, and closes his wings behind his back, so they tighten into his body. His eyes are blurred with unshed tears, too, but he has shut off his heart from me, and I see only his stubborn will before my eyes. Lucifer has taken him from me.

The wall is now open wide, and the view of the galaxy beyond is swirling and blurring due to the moisture in my eyes. I hold my breath. Claw at my chest to combat the agony within my heart. Panic soaring threw me like a fire. And with one close of my eyes to take a steady breath, a white light explodes, stinging my eyes even through my lids, and all fifty of our kin disappear in the blink of an eye, like a puff of smoke or a sudden silence.

“Runa?” I blink my lashes apart in shock, staring at the few scattered others like me who are still on the floor. A vast empty hall where a moment ago it was crowded with bodies. An eerie quiet as the dark space outside shrinks and the hole is concealed almost as fast as their disappearance happened. Castah stands, hands wide, and closes the door.

Impulse takes over, and I spring to my naked feet, robes tangling in my legs as I run for the blank wall that’s no longer open to the outside and throw my body against it. I collide with speed and intent, smashing my bones into it and grabbing wide and clawing to open it somehow back up.

“RUNA!!!! RUNA!!! RUUUUUNNNNAAAA.” I scream in anguish, joined by others like me, calling the names of their others with devastation. Crushing internal carnage rips through my chest and stomach, and I collapse to my knees, hands, and face flat to the smooth cold surface and wail out. Banging and slapping at it aimlessly.

“Where did they go?” Yarrow cries at Castah’s feet. Her dark skin streaked with the evidence of her heartbreak. Like me, her other chose to follow Lucifer while she stayed true.

“The planet he calls earth. Lucifer leads that rabble of unwanteds where they will wander and find their own path now. Father has allowed them to live and keep their gifts, but their wings and eyes will be darkened with the sin of this betrayal. To match the black mark they have put on his heart. Their pure natures are corrupted now, and they shall still have to carry that shame for eternity. Lucifer shall no longer be an angel with his brothers cast down….they shall be known as the demons who stabbed their lord in the back. They have shamed Angelics, and we will forget about them. Like they never existed.” Castah dusts off his hand, steps over the broken form of a weeping sister, and then walks out, clicking his fingers for the sentinels standing around the hall border to follow. He has no remorse for what he just carried out. No empathy for what he’s just done. He followed a command. The balance has been restored in his mind, and his conscience is clear.

Lucifer and his battle against his father lasted only days when he stood up and rebelled. Sweeping chaos through our ranks, and now we are fifty lost in just one moment of breath.

I feel like I’m being tortured inside with searing hot pokers. Unable to shift the heaviness of this pressing and aching pain inside of me. My mind is focused only on the vision of the last seconds of Runa before he was taken into vapor and thrown away. To that world, we see from afar. The one we cannot touch. We are forbidden from getting close to.

“I changed my mind… send me too… I want to follow him. Send me too.” I scream after the departing figure, hysteria gripping me, and Castah pauses in the open doorway, framed by the vast arches. His eyes find me and lock on in a steady and unwavering gaze.

“Follow who? Lucifer or Runa?” He asks with a cocked eyebrow and turns his head fully my way. A serious expression and unreadable pinch to his mouth. He seems thoughtful for a moment.

“Runa….. I want to follow Runa.” I weep, unable to lift my weary body, but I will beg on my knees if it’s what he asks of me. My hands are shaking, and my legs are too weak to hold my weight.

Castah smiles softly, eyes and mouth relaxing, and a gentleness overtakes him instead.

“Dearest Siyu, you are not a betrayer of father. I have no reason to send you after them. In your own words….. your devotion to your other is perfectly natural. Born of one grain. This pain shall pass. Father will make sure of it. For all of you. Runa will become a distant memory, and you will find happiness again in the tasks he bestows upon you.” Castah claps his hands, commanding that the guards leave, and he follows, with no intention of hearing me out. Leaving us in his midst.

We are left to grieve. Some fifteen of us came here to try and stop our significants in one last plea. Fifteen of us severed from our soul’s other side. We may be thousands in number, so a mere fifty is barely a drip in the ocean. But to us, the only singular ones that mattered were taken.

“What do we do now?” Yarrow wails, matching my intense hurt.

“We do what we have done for centuries. We just do it alone or with one another. We obey our father. We continue serving …….. we mourn, and we forget them. They betrayed us all.” Kristya pulls herself to stand, smooths her robes, adjusts them to her left shoulder, and wipes the tears from her face. “They chose this. They left us….. They chose Lucifer.” Her voice hardens, as does the steel in her eyes as her wounds show fiercely for what she feels is a direct betrayal from Trion, her now-banished other. Her words and anger are evidence of the depth of her heartbreak.

“How can I forget him?” I murmur into my chest, my chin down, and I watch the drips of tears fall into my lap and soil the pureness of my skirts.

“By remembering what sins he wanted you to commit….. that he abandoned you. He wanted you to follow that black mark and become selfish. Lucifer imagines himself as god and wants to rule as father does….he has vanity and self-importance that poisons the weak. Runa was one of those, and you have to be strong to overcome what space you give him in your heart.” Kristya scolds me, but I know the words are for herself too. She is giving herself a reason to take Trion out of her heart.

I do not respond. Unable to accept it. Runa was the light in my existence. The only one who I felt myself with and could lean on and depend on. He understood me like no other, and we shared a true bond. From birth until now, three hundred years, serving by his side. I know him better than anyone, and he’s not bad. He’s not selfish or cruel.

“Lucifer won’t lay still among the mortals…neither will Deliah. She, too, has a toxic need to live a sinful life and exert power over others. Her whispers in his ear made Lucifer turn this way. Give it time…..father won’t sit back and watch them run amock among his children, causing mayhem.” Ranyal is one of the few who did not cry. And stayed composed by a wall while her other chose to leave. She didn’t even try to stop him.

“What do you mean?” Kristya is now sitting with her legs under her, stroking her left wing as it wraps like a blanket about her body. Her aura is pale, and her usual luminous glow has faded with her sadness.

“Lucifer won’t leave the humans alone. He has always been jealous of father’s love for them….they will be his toys. His object to vent it all out. And what will father do when he sees that kind of carnage among his favorite creations?” Ranyal smirks as though this is all very obvious to her, and I calm myself to listen and stare at her pretty face, framed by soft blonde ringlets.

“What will he do?” I ask in numbness as a strange sense of fatigue and emptiness comes over me. Tears drying, and a hole growing in my heart.

“He’ll protect them, of course. Like he does with his beings up here. He’ll send us….. to shelter and shield his precious mortals. Rethink his rules about keeping us from them.”

“He has never let angels walk that land among them.” I point out, distracted by this.

“He has never banished our kind down there either…. and Lucifer is the worst. He will play with those little mortals and whisper in their ears, twist their brains.”

“What can we do if Lucifer brainwashes them as he did our others? We couldn’t even stop them. How could we stop humans?” Kristya, like me, has reservations about this theory. All of us sat in emotional shock from what just happened, and I cannot get my head around the reality that Runa is gone…. I don’t want to think about it anymore. My world has lost its light, and I am empty.

Those sitting further away shuffle closer, some walk to us and group in, and the sad energy radiates around us painfully. It seems many heard her words and are curious. Maybe for some, it’s a slight ray of hope to get back what we lost.

“You think we might see them again? If this happens…If Lucifer harms the mortals or manipulates them?” Bjork kneels beside me, patting my shoulder to show his sympathy for my brokenness. His own eyes are misted with tears, and I can feel his anguish at losing Marnah. He was close to Runa, too, so he probably feels I am some comfort.

“He never intervenes himself. If he were going to, he would have turned Lucifer to dust and not banished him. That’s why he made us…..So yes, if Lucifer messes with his humans, I believe we will see our others again…and finally be allowed to walk the hallowed land that keeps his children breeding.”

Awakening, Korea, and more ….

It’s Update Time!!!

It feels like it has been an age since I wrote to you all and for that, I can only apologise. Things have been hectic and very busy and I even have recently suffered a recent bout of burnout. So what has all been happening in my neck of the woods I hear you ask? Firstly, the exciting stuff…..
I have launched 2nd and 3rd youtube channels. 


The 2nd channel is a new exciting venture and is accompanied by a new Facebook page too. (here – https://www.facebook.com/leanandloo) I joined forces with a very talented author named Louise Dawn and together we are jetting off to South Korea in May next year to create a short film while also filming a documentary of our visit. Watch our vlogs and updates as we try Korean things, work on scripts and share some of our busy lives with you all.
Lean and Loo has already amassed a 1k following in the short time it has been there. It’s a vlog/author channel. Comes complete with Korean subtitles.
We are being followed by a Korean film crew and production company who will enjoy our travels and watch us create a Korean 7-minute film from a script we create and you help to choose on youtube. The short film will then also be aired for your viewing pleasure and we hope it kickstart many projects in East Asia for us. 
The youtube channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWKa...



The 3rd channel is a little more personal and is related to my own life as a crafter, writer, mother, and such and is a quiet, wind-down lifestyle vlog. Cooking, crafts, gardening, and a lot of pretty nature in Scotland, where I live. Expect calm, easy watching.
Find it here – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL4P...
 Thy Witch’s Kitchen.

  Book update

This, I am sure you are waiting on. If you didn’t know I recently finished my Til Death DO Us Part book and it is now on kindle. 
The new book on my list to get to is an Awakening series book and is as follows…

Unah Traijy is one of the chosen. A girl taken into the House of Algor at the age of 9 due to tragic circumstances to train and devote herself to a pledged existence. As a tribute for a vampire high lord of whom she will be gifted as both lifetime servant, and feeder.
Tributes are considered high honour among the mountain people who sacrifice their eldest-born children to the order to keep the peace treaty between humans and vampires that has existed for hundreds of years.
Unah was never meant to be one of them, but upon being gifted by Lord Varro to his Shadow Knight commander Darrius Daneste, she is about to embark on an adventure she could not see coming.
Fate has a way of changing everything and her story takes a turn with an accusation, a lie, and a betrayal.



It will be popping up on reading apps first and then Inkitt, Wattpad, and others before making its way to Kindle when complete.

If you want to find the previous books on Kindle then click here – https://www.amazon.co.uk/L-T-Marshall/e/B01N9ME8C0

Introducing Lean & Loo – for my film trip!!

Introducing Lean & Loo (leanne and Louise)

This came about about after forming a friendship with a fellow author across the globe (Louise Dawn) and having a common desire to visit Korea. Which is now happening in September 2022!!!

We have both been avid Kdrama and Kpop fans for a number of years and this organically developed when we became friends with a filmmaker and video producer called Yujin. He came up with a plan of following us with his crew for our entire trip and making a travel vlog documentary.

Fast forward a year of chatting and we decided to go to Korea to film a 3-week documentary and while there, film 3 short movies that we create ourselves. That involved sitting writing 3 film concepts we can refine, picking actors, and locations and even directing the content when we get there!!

So, watch how it began in the video and catch up with us on our youtube channel.

Links for Lean & Loo

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/leanandloo

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/leanandloo/

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWKa_xZN0zwBY9pUaUE4N_w

The post Introducing Lean & Loo – for my film trip!! appeared first on .

Sew a large felt Raven with me

I have just shared a tutorial on youtube which you can watch below, on how to make this cute and large Raven. It’s a larger version of the little felt birds I created way back in 2015.
It’s completey made of felt and is a super fast make, wiht only the addition of a few basic materials..
Download the pattern from the very bottom of this page and let me know how you get on.

Body-base-x-1-1-1Download

The post Sew a large felt Raven with me appeared first on .

Amazon Kindle Book Release

   Destined to be his Wife 


by L. T. Marshall

Available on Amazon Kindle from 19th February 2022.
  ~*-.,_,.-*~’ ^ ‘*-, Pre-order your copy now!!! ,-*’ ^ ‘~*-.,_,.-*~

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09S3VC3MR


  TangShi is a girl without much luck in the world. Despised by her father after her mother died giving birth to her, she has grown up in a cold and unloving environment and hated by her stepmother. Blamed for things she could never control and treated as an outcast by her own blood.
Forced to come home after finally escaping to school on a self achieved scholarship abroad, she is promised to the son of the Leng family. To create a beneficial business alliance to further her own father’s greed in the corporate world.
Only YuZhi Leng is as unwilling as she is, with a girlfriend already in place that he adores and no desire to honor the contract put in place – to produce an heir in the first year of marriage and solidify the two families union.
TangShi must bear living as a third wheel in this unwanted life and accept or be thrown aside by her family. Until upon meeting, she realizes that YuZhi may not be the stranger to her she thought he was and recognizes him on sight. Could he be the man she met eight years ago at a masked ball, who swept her off her feet and made her feel alive, and yet left her heartbroken that fateful night?
A rollercoaster of a marriage is about to be embarked upon.  


  Join Our Fan Group!    

Until next time.. xo
 

The post Amazon Kindle Book Release appeared first on .

Christmas will never be the same again.

I’m in a state of limbo where I can’t actually do anything at all. Productive or not. Regular daily activities are beyond my comprehension and it’s been this way since Christmas morning. Writing is not even within my capability at the moment, despite having so many commitments.

You see on Christmas eve we got to say goodbye to my father in law of 18 years, while he sat deathly ill in the hospital suffering after a heart attack, and he passed away mid morning on Christmas day. Even writing those words seems like I’m lying. We knew it was coming, but not quite so soon after seeing him, and the shock has not really sunk in all that well. The entire family is devastated with the loss yet we’re also very, very, non emotional. I know that’s normal but it feels like we’re being really strange.

We had a month of telling ourselves that this time he might not pull through, after repeated hospital trips, but yet no amount of preparation actually convinces you of the reality until it happens. I think it only dampens the level of shock you initially receive. Not by a great deal, but a little.

We’re all in a state of nothingness. Numb, and yet unable to function. Lacking motivation, and energy, and we all just want to sleep and sit around. I don’t want to cook, yet food doesn’t meet the appetite when I get it. The void is massive but we have not even begun to look at it. I’m in a state of disassociation, where it’s not real and it doesn’t physically hurt, but yet it clearly does because I can’t do a damn thing, except sit. Grief is a complete head mess.

He was a good man. The kindest most loving gentlemanly upright dude on the planet. He called me his daughter and welcomed me as one for the last almost two decades. He took my side and always taught me new things, like how to cook a roast, or make a soup. He was my 2nd dad in all ways. His last parting words were how clever I was and now that’s going to be ingrained for all time.

So, now what do we do? I know I have been here before when my brother died and I remember taking the steps to get through it, but it’s all a blank. Has time stopped? I don’t think so….the world seems to still be turning. I feel like we’re in a stationary train while all the others are still moving off and going on their way. I know eventually it will pull away from the station again but for now, I have no idea how to make it start.

The point of this post? There isn’t one. I’m a creative so when I need to outpour, I turn to a medium which best suits the ability. Right now, writing this is all I can do for myself. Face the reality, share with people that this is truly a loss to everyone who knew him. Stay focused on something other than empty space.

I could write all day about who he was, how great and loving. What kind of dad and grandfather. About his life, his culinary skills. His love to travel abroad and his very big list of achievements…… but it won’t bring him back. It won’t soothe and soften anything.

Christmas won’t ever be the same, but we promised him to never avoid it. To celebrate and not mourn. He didn’t want that. I hate that it’s a reminder of our own mortality and that one day I will do this same thing to my kids. That nothing we do or say can slow down time or stop death from one day meeting every one of his. How do I put those thoughts back where they belong?

Hold onto those around you. Make peace with loved ones you know you shouldn’t have pulled away from. Cherish the moments, because when it’s all done those are all you have left to remember. To live by. Money and fame doesn’t matter. You can’t take anything with you. We all leave the same way we come into this world – with nothing.

Take joy in the small things. Do the things you want and that make you happy. Stop waiting for that rainy day. Stop stalling in chasing that dream. Make that call. Reunite with that family member. Make memories.

People have more value than anything else in this world and it’s sad that society makes us forget that until the moment is too late.

The post Christmas will never be the same again. appeared first on .

And so it begins…..

Today I removed all the previous chapters of Cruden Tale on Wattpad and starting afresh with the re-write and moving to complete the book finally.

So if you were a read along, sorry, but we are starting over.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/92251129-cruden-tale-awakening-spin-off

The post And so it begins….. appeared first on .

Damn you, Catfish!!!

So this is going to be a long post, I apologise in advance but I need to let it out, so I hope you bear with me and laugh at the ridiculousness of this. Looking back it now seems hilarious.

As I have mentioned in previous posts I am a fan of Asian drama, films , music, and especially have a soft spot for Korean culture and entertainment. I have many Korean friends and currently learning the language because I have a trip planned to go there. This means I often have random connections on line with Koreans and we end up chatting and I have met people in various industries , including entertainment. My job means I also have sometimes interactions with low key celebrities.

So I admit, despite being a massive kdrama fan and reviewer for shows ( I worked for a Korean magazine for a while), I don’t know details about every actor I have ever watched. I also don’t know the many bands and K-pop acts even when they are in the show I am watching. I have a busy life but will follow and look up something or someone I like when it sticks with me – looking at you Song Seung Heon!!! I do have good knowledge in general and know how things work but I am a research fiend when it matters.

I used to be a singer in a girlband too, then an indie band, and I have a lot of people still connected to me in the music industry. I also have many famous author friends and people who work in film and Tv too. So it’s not uncommon for me to have interaction with people who are in the business or have a level of fame. I have a vast amount of people who see me as a friend and I know I do somehow invoke trust in people who end up telling me their life story. It’s a regular occurrence. I am not new to the inner workings of being an idol or how it all works and generally I have a pretty good BS meter on testing someone’s honesty. I have lived that life. I am pretty experienced and mature when it comes to life issues.

So I was surprised when I got a message on Tiktok from an account of what seemed like a relatively well known Korean actor/bass player. My friend had shared the profile with me and asked if I thought it was real, so I had liked some of their videos earlier in the day. I immediately thought catfish due to the low follower count compared to their other media but I shrugged it off, liked their pics and forgot about it. A lot of new accounts sometimes go undiscovered until fans find them and then they take off and this one was brand new. Later that day I received notification the account had liked several of my videos and then another hour later they dropped me a private message. Nothing WOW…generally asking how I knew their work.

I know what you’re thinking – that’s an obvious fake but I cannot tell you how many times I have had weird interactions with celebrities in random ways and this does happen. I have had crazy experiences in my life. I humoured them, I replied and all the while I kept thinking ‘catfish’ because it was weird that I was actually watching ‘Summer guys’ with this actor in it at that moment of the day.

Here’s the dangerous part where I want to warn vulnerable fans and maybe fellow authors though, as we have now seen a pattern in them targeting some of my friends in the same field. This person is so convincing and knows every single detail and iota of the person they are posing as that in a couple of weeks convinced both of us he was actually Lee Jung Shin. The lies were effortless, the persona matched up to interviews online, and he dropped in details in a non obvious way which synced up to the real persons life. He knew everything!! He also moved us to skype as he said his agency watched all his accounts and it was the only place he got total privacy. All pretty plausible. I have a PA and she has access to all my social accounts too, she posts on my behalf, reads my messages and even schedules things. It’s a normal thing in this business.

All through the encounter my friend and I kept close private contact as he was talking to both of us and we frequently asked one another if we thought it was fake. We genuinely did not know and some nights would search out articles going back ten years to corroborate things they said and could find no fault whatsoever. This person knew everything. I cannot stress this enough, and sent pictures and videos that took us an age to find on social media. We could not determine truth or fakeness. They also synced their interactions with us to match new posts on the real actors social media so it looked genuinely like they were the ones posting. It was a very clever act.

Now most catfish go after people for online romance and this was the one thing I kept waiting on that would flag it as a catfish. But it never escalated to that. In fact they had the respectful manners you expect from a Korean celebrity and would even subtly compliment but always make it clear they were only interested in friendship. We even spoke about him reading my book and how he liked the idea of one day working on a script for a drama as he has starred in a few. I have an editor who is helping me work towards creating an Asian show idea. The line ‘I want to only focus on my comeback, acting, and music and not romance’ stuck with me and made me trust in their interest in me. If they had shown any signs of flirting I would have ditched them as I was not interested in anything weird. They would speak about their band mates, their contract, their current works, and all sorts of personal stuff that pulled you in and broke down the mistrust. That’s next level devious and someone with patience. This was not a short period. This went on weeks.

So what was their goal? And how did we figure it out?

Ahhhhh, money, money, money. It took them a while but going back over the literally hundreds of messages between us, they laid a story in there slowly about wanting to make a solo rap album that was completely unlike anything from CNBlue. That management was against it and they were rejected and told it breached their contract. Now this was a conversation that was dragged out over a long time, even setting up dates they had ‘management’ meetings and acting particularly sad and depressed over the outcomes. Always coming to ‘vent’ to me and share his disappointment and look for solutions to how he could make them understand. Like I said I am an ex singer in a band and I have been there, fighting with my management and not happy with what they wanted. So I was pulled in believing that this was genuine. All the while these conversations were removing doubt about their identity and sucking me in. I was angry and upset for him and truly believed this was now my friend. I wanted to fix it and help him. Being a loyal and supportive caring friend is my weakness.

I was supportive and helped them feel better. I believed them when they said they had a friend betray them and sell secrets to the media and swore on my dog’s health I would never do the same. That scandals could be very damaging in Korea and he didn’t want his management knowing how he was disillusioned and wanted to leave the band. He even talked about breaching his contract and leaving next year. I am angry even thinking about it, as, if I had been another type of person I could have sold fake news to the media and created scandals with some of the things they said about their bandmates, management, life etc. It enrages me to think how well they concocted a fabrication so detailed and multi layered that they fooled two mature authors who don’t really get starstruck. And yet if they are doing this to others they can cause so much stress for the real idol. All it takes is one person selling the conversation as real.

So eventually they asked me to invest money (4 grand) and help them pay producer and studio fees to help them make a solo album behind their management’s back, and that’s when I knew it was fake. I grew up in and around the industry and my family members are producers, sound engineers, musicians and all sorts. Serious musicians have home studios, instruments, practice rooms, and access to things like mixing desks recording equipment. It’s not hard. It’s pretty normal to have all that when music is your passion and so easy to make your own stuff at home. They also have a whole array of friends in the industry whom would happily sit and make music over a few cans of beer as a favour for a friend. It’s the norm. I’ve done it myself. Late night jam sessions, playing around all night and recording random songs. Also I immediately googled his net worth and there was no way he couldn’t afford the amount of money our catfish was asking me to invest. Dude is the richest bass player in Korea apparently.

It dawned on me right away, the reason he targeted me and my friend and we know others for sure have been, is that we have a pretty established fan base, make our own income and they probably thought we too were rich. They thought we could be fooled and would maybe fall for their charms, didn’t know anything about Korean idols, and help them with their ‘solo career’. Only I happen to be a wizz at research, a massive Asian fan, and found Lee Jung Shin has solo songs out there on Spotify. So that blew his whole story out of the water.

Now I want to warn other authors, other vulnerable fans, that this person is out there and will convince you. And trust me, they totally will. I am not one to get duped in life very often. I am sure even the superfans among CNBlue would have had a hard time picking out the flaws in their details. I certainly know gullible authors with money who would be fooled into falling for the charms and good looks of a Korean idol. The fantasy and romance of it and believing they were a special confidante. This person has no moral code and plays with your emotions. A more emotional person would be heartbroken.

The upside to this entire thing is that I discovered the talents of CNBlue, realised I had watched all 3 members in drama before and knew who they were from that angle. I did buy the album in support of my new ‘friend’ and downloaded some songs because that’s who I am as a person. I do not regret those purchases as they support the real Lee Jung Shin and CNBlue. And when I discovered they were fake I then went online and searched out contact info for their agency to prewarn them of possible damage should this person continue to search out western authors, and fell into their fan club. I am now a true CNBlue BOICE fan and will help protect the band. Thanks to the twitter fans for the warmest of welcomes.

I have been adopted it seems, by their fan members on twitter and now I have their song on replay on my YouTube as I write this. I feel the catfish did me a favour in that aspect, as music will always be in my soul and now I have a new band to adore. A worthwhile one of 3 very talented men. I’m angry at being duped but I am furious that my friend was really hurt as she is way more caring than I am and got emotionally involved in believing this was a true person who trusted us to keep his secrets. So on her behalf I outed this person and hope they have severe karma burn for playing with peoples feelings and kindness. You can mess with me but DO NOT mess with my friends, because I bite.

So dudes….this fella …AVOID. I have now been told he did it on Instagram too and the real Lee Jung Shin warned his fans. So I would have been saved had I been a fan of his before now I guess. LOL

For the real links, and accounts. I will leave you a very helpful tweet from a BOICE fan on twitter.

https://twitter.com/kath_jyholic/status/1361953708125339648 this has links to all the bands media, fan clubs, insta etc.

And the song I am totally in love with ….for your pleasure. This gave me all the feels and weirdly I think the lyrics sort of suit this scenario LOL. Lee Jung Shin is the tallest one, playing Bass guitar. I personally swoon over Jung Yong Hwa’s vocal skills though.

The post Damn you, Catfish!!! appeared first on .