Cullan Hudson's Blog, page 30

Flash Fiction Contest Entry: "Flip Flop" (well, maybe just the flip)

Flip or Flop
 “Chris, could you put your flip flops in the closet.”
 “What?”
 “Could you put your flip flops in the closet?”
 “Oh, do they smell that bad?”
 “No, they don’t smell. I never said that!”
 “Uh, o.k. Then why do you want them in the closet?”
 “Could you just put them in the closet, please!”
 “Why? Your stuff is all over the cabin too.”
 “Could you just...!!”
 “Tell me why!”
 “Could you just!!”
 “No! Tell me why!”
 “Could...just...because I’m afraid of them!”
 “You’re what?”
 “I’m afraid of them, o.k.?”
 “You’re afraid of my flip flops?”
 “Yes, well, not both of them, just the flip.”
 “What?”
 “I’m not afraid of the flop, just the flip.”
 “Have you gone insane?”
 “JUST PUT THE FLIP FLOPS IN THE CLOSET!!!”
 “O.K., o.k.! ... Happy?”
 “Could you also prop the chair up against the doors?”
 “What?”
 “Just put the chair up against the doors.”
 “Why?!”
 “So they won’t get out!”
 “My flip flops?”
 “Yes.”
 “Get out?”
 “Yes.”
 “By themselves?”
 “Yes.”
 “My god, you’ve gone insane. I’ve heard of cabin fever before, but I only thought it occurred in remote arctic cabins, not on a fantastic beach in Thailand.”
 “You’ll thank me later.”
 “For what?”
 “For saving you.”
 “From my flip flops?”
 “Yes, well the flip anyway. I think the flop is probably harmless.”
 “How can you tell them apart?”
 “One flips, the other flops.”
 “Which one flips, the right or the left?”
 “I’m not sure.”
 “Then why are you afraid of the flip, and not the flop?”
 “Because I haven’t heard the flop move around at night.”
 “But you’ve heard the flip move around at night?”
 “Yes.”
 “By itself?”
 “Yes.”
 “How do you know you weren’t dreaming?”
 “Because I pinched myself.”
 “So?”
 “And it hurt.”
 “So? Maybe you pinched yourself in the dream.”
 “No, you can’t.”
 “What? Why?”
 “You just can’t. It’s like keeping your eyes open when you sneeze, it can’t be done. If you even think about pinching yourself, you’re obviously awake.”
 “What? I’ve never heard that.”
 “It’s true.”
 “Well, o.k., what if I was sleepwalking, and only put the flip on.”
 “You weren’t.”
 “How do you know?”
 “Because you were snoring, so I could tell where you were.”
 “What if... I can’t even believe I’m trying to argue with you. You’re insane!”
 “We’ll see.”
 “What do you mean, we’ll see?”
 “I’m going to leave a trap tonight.”
 “For my flip flops?”
 “Yes.”
 “I thought we shut them in the closet.”
 “Oh, that won’t stop them.”
 “What? I even wedged the chair up against the doors.”
 “Don’t be a fool Chris! I only had you do that to slow them down.”
 “Slow them down?”
 “Yes.”
 “So, what do you think they’ll try to do?”
 “It’s hard to tell.”
 “What kind of things do flip flops normally do?”
 “I’m not an idiot Chris! I know that flip flops are normally inanimate.”
 “But these aren’t?”
 “I think the flip might be possessed by a demon.”
 “A demon?”
 “Yes.”
 “Possessing my flip flops?”
 “Just the flip. Let’s leave the flop out of this. It could be a completely innocent piece of footwear.”
 “Of course. It should always be innocent until proven guilty when it comes to footwear.”
 “Yes. That’s why I’m going to put down a trap tonight.”
 “To catch it red footed?”
 “Exactly.”
 “What are you going to do?”
 “I’m going to...”
 “What?”
 “Shhh!”
 “Oh, sorry. What?”
 “After we turn out the lights, I’m going to spread a thin layer of flour around the floor, so that if the flip comes out again, we’ll see its footprints.”
 “Incredible.”
 “Thank you.”
 “I wasn’t really using the word incredible as a compliment there.”
 “Just you wait.”
* * *
 “Chris! Chris!”
 “Scallops!”
 “What?”
 “What?”
 “Wake up!”
 “What?”
 “Chris! Wake up!”
 “Why? What’s going on?”
 “Look!”
 “Look at what?”
 “Flip prints!”
 “Oh my god, can’t you let that drop?”
 “Look! The flip prints are in the flour!”
 “You did this didn’t you?”
 “How would I have done it? There is only one set of prints.”
 “I don’t know but...”
 “Come on! The flip prints lead from the closet out the front door.”
 “You go after it then.”
 “By myself?!”
 “I’m sure you can take it.”
 “Come on!!!”
 “If this is a joke, it had better have a great punch line.”
 “Come on! There’s flip prints in the sand outside.”
 “Maybe it just wanted to go home.”
 “No, look. They stop under that bush.”
 “Excellent. Mystery solved.”
 “Come on, let’s go see.”
 “Without weapons?”
 “Good point. What kind of weapons do we have?”
 “I think there’s a ladle back in the cabin.”
 “Go get it!”
 “I was being sarcastic.”
 “I’m not! Go... No wait, there’s no time. Look!”
 “Look at what?”
 “It’s shaking.”
 “What?”
 “The flip! It’s shaking. It looks like it’s afraid.”
 “Afraid of what?”
 “I don’t... Wait a minute! Where’s the flop?!”
 “Isn’t it back in the closet?”
 “Look out Chris! Behind you!!”
 “Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

The Sisters (a creepy photo remix)

Found this image on Flickr and decided to turn up their already
creepy look a notch or two.

Baltic UFO Explained?

Remember this? That mysterious "crashed ufo" image that stirred up some speculation ever since it was first discovered on sonar by some Swedish treasure hunters in the Baltic Sea last summer? Well, turns out it's formed by the intense pressures places upon rocks that are trapped in and tumbled by glaciers. Although, there still might be some contention about THAT. Read more here.

It was a dark and stormy night...

 Weathering the effects of Hurricane Isaac (the darkness, howling winds, and rain) put me in the mood for classic, cheesy horror. Given the fact that on-demand technology seems to outstrip actual on-deman offerings, I headed over to YouTube to see what full-length features were lurking about in their public domain postings. To my delight (and, frankly, surprise) were two fairly decent films:

Horror Hotel (1960) with Christopher Lee--A young college student, studying the history of witchcraft,  heads to an old Massachussets town where she falls into a trap set by a long-lived coven bent on blood sacrifices.

Horror Express--(1972) Finds Christopher Lee meeting up with Peter Cushing and an outrageously over the top Telly Savalas as they try to stop a murderous creature on a train from China to Russia. In a bizarre mix of the Love Boat meets horror by way of a Sherlock-Holmes-style whodunnit in retelling what is so obviously "Who Goes There?" (aka "The Thing"), Horror Express could have easily ridden off the rails, but the perfomances are such fun (Cushing at being acused of being the monster: "Monster? We're British, you know!") that you hardly notice or even care about such insignificant details.

Mysterious Epitaph Explained

A mysterious inscription on a Salt Lake City grave has, with some historical digging been explained. It would seem her husband was of less than sound mind and, sadly, her headstone will forever bear the scars of his disturbed ramblings. You can read about this strange monument HERE.

FLASH FICTION ENTRY: "Whirling"

Whirling

      The sound of the glass dome covering him made his tiny gears whirl, first in a slow spin of wakefulness, then at a panic stricken pace. Something had gone very wrong. . .again. Malfisto quickly hopped into action, busily unfolding the many hinges of his eight mechanical legs from his sedate form of an intricate metal brooch no bigger than a coat button.     ‘Hey! Hey you!’ he called through the glass at the distorted image of the girl as she gathered her tools, ‘What’s all this about?’      The girl didn’t turn around, but continued at her task. ‘You know very well, what this is about. You got me into this mess. . . you will get me out.’      ‘Now, just wait a minute! Hold up!’ he cried, tapping his front legs against the glass, ‘How many times do I have to tell you? My reprogramming didn’t make the mess!’      ‘Tell me. . . who did it?’      Malfisto slid his legs off the glass and crouched. ‘Again. How many times do I have to tell you? I DON’T KNOW!’      The girl shook her head and sighed, unsatisfied. ‘I don’t care for that answer.’     ‘Well. . .that’s all I got for ya, Sister,’ Malfisto huffed, ‘Still after all these months, that’s all I got.’
      ‘Hmm. . . ‘ said the girl simply.      ‘You know. . . I’ve been thinking, since all this happened,’ Malfisto mused, ‘Who ever said this wasn’t some elaborate scheme anyway? You’re in your mess because, in a way, you ultimately wanted the mess. Believe me, back home, those who know are elated. It was the mess they wanted you to be in. Better late than never. . .’      'Yes,’ the girl sighed, ‘All an elaborate scheme, Mal. All of it so that I could be seen as the victim. Poor little Ophelia Priestwood and her never having a say. But look! She has done her duty to the family! How good of her! Well, I’ve been taken advantage of my whole life, and I tried to remedy that by leaving home, leaving my first born, and coming here to study. Getting to spend real time in a metalwork of my very own, creating my mechanical paradise. It was the best choice I had ever made for myself, then you arrived. . . ‘      ‘Hey! I was already here, remember? Your insane brother toted me along during his time of study. He couldn’t have gotten along without me in his freaky-deaky greenhouses, and then, well, I guess I don’t know what happened after he left. It was like a long sleep. When I woke up, he had gone back home without me, and you were in your, er, predicament. So, see? If there is a victim here, it’s definitely me! Actually, I was surprised to find you here at university. Must’ve rode in on the coattails of Alistair’s brilliance. . . as crazy as it is.’         ‘That isn’t true, so shut the hell up!’ Ophelia snapped angrily, turning around with her tray full of tools, ready to begin.
         ‘Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean that! Really!’ Malfisto backed up against the far side of the glass dome, as the girl sat on her swivel stool in front of him. She strapped on her specialized goggles featuring interchangeable magnifying lenses, slipped on a tight fitting leather glove onto her left hand and with no further ceremony, lifted the dome and quickly swiped him.
A swift poke of a tiny screwdriver among the intricate gears and Malfisto fell limp in her hand, paralyzed. Ophelia slipped off the protective glove, shifted a magnifying lens over her right eye, and then another, her eye enlargement, distorting her beyond recognition.
At least he could still speak, not that it would do him any good, but he could try, while he was still able. ‘I’m a rather amazing toy, aren’t I?’
‘Hmm-hum,’ Ophelia murmured under her breath without pausing her work.
‘See, that’s all I was ever made for, to be a plaything for you and Alistair. And I gotta say, it was fun. You were always much more the better playmate. Alistair had a bad habit of taking me deep into the woods, get all wrapped up in some weird plant, then take it home instead of me! See? I’m just now getting my memory back! I’ve just worked myself back to my old self, before the alteration! Now you’re just coming along and jacking my insides all up again!’
Ophelia switched between tiny drivers and tweezers, then sighed and sat them down. ‘Still no memory of what happened six months ago, then?’
‘Nope, nothing.’
‘Shall I tell you?’
‘That would help.’
‘Whomever reprogrammed you before cared nothing for my sanity.’ Ophelia switched magnifying lens again and took up her tools as she spoke, poking very precisely. ‘But, I must say, it was brilliantly done. After Kate was born, I wanted to go away, and stay gone, merely looking at my brother repulsed me to my very core. But then, a few months ago, I suddenly could think of nothing else, but to get back to him. So, I did.’
‘Yeah, okay. That choice had nothing to do with me.’
‘Oh, yes it did.’ Ophelia insisted, ‘I didn’t understand what was happening, then I heard the whirl of gears in my head, driving me to madness, wanting nothing but him. You were there, secretly attached to my skull, whirling your gears, effecting my thoughts and emotions.’
‘Oh. . .’
‘Yes, and now, what you helped create, you will will help destroy.’
Malfisto could now no longer speak and his body contracted until he was neatly folded back into his tight button form. Ophelia lifted the skirt of her dark dress and attached him to her protruding pregnant belly. His gears whirled at a continuous frantic speed. The startled fetus inside recoiled and howled in pain.
 By DS

Slender Man: A Cancerous Canard

With recent interest being shown by the likes of SyFy's Paranormal Witness, we're hearing more these days about the Internet-born meme known as Slenderman. Despite a well-known origin, many still firmly believe in the reality of Slender Man--or, at least, something like him.

The phenomenon began within the murky depths of a "paranormal pictures" photoshop contest hosted on Something Awful Forums back in the summer of 2009. This contest asked participants to manipulate previously-established images into something creepier. One user, Victor Surge, presented two black and white photos of children with a mysterious, extremely tall being dubbed "Slender Man". Pseudo-journalistic text accompanied the images, adding a further layer of verisimilitude.

“We didn’t want to go, we didn’t want to kill them, but its persistent silence and outstretched arms horrified and comforted us at the same time…” – 1983, photographer unknown, presumed dead.

One of two recovered photographs from the Stirling City Library blaze. Notable for being taken the day which fourteen children vanished and for what is referred to as “The Slender Man”. Deformities cited as film defects by officials. Fire at library occurred one week later. Actual photograph confiscated as evidence. – 1986, photographer: Mary Thomas, missing since June 13th, 1986.

From this inauspicious beginning, the legend took hold and spread like some dark plague of paranoia throughout the world. In time, "he's real" type stories began cropping up from various online posters who swear they've had real-life encounters with such a being. Even if the actual "Slender Man" had been made up, they say, he was based on a very real entity the creator likely saw.

Slender Man doesn't really seem to do anything to terrorize; it seems sufficient that he simply is terrifying. In this way, he reflects the changing culture we live in, one that moves too quickly to do more than recount legends and myths in shorthand. We have within most of us a wealth of readymade motifs, archetypes, and tropes fueled by countless pop-culture references, horror films, novels, and the like to fill in the gaps any tweeted legend might offer. Another example of this would be the Black Eyed Kids meme, which I have discussed before HERE.

Slender Man is not the first zeitgeist to slip into that gray realm of I-swear-it's-really-real. In 1970, English journalist Frank Smyth wrote an article for Man, Myth and Magic, wherein he manufactured the ghost of a mad vicar who, in life, robbed and killed boarders to his rooming house. In the years since that article, at least eight books have recounted the tale of the vicious vicar, citing it as "true". Even after the author appeared on television to explain the hoax, many "witnesses" adamantly claimed they had see the clergyman.

We can easily play around with what-if scenarios, such as: What if WE created these manifestations by focusing on them? I think of the SORRAT (Society for Research on Rapport and Telekinesis) experiment wherein a group focused on creating a ghost named "Philip" with only their minds, manifesting him from sheer thought. This is like the Tibetan concept of a Tulpa, a thoughtform that manifests from the mind of an adept. If the Tulpa is strong enough, it can, in turn, manifest its own thoughtforms.

But these are actually all very facile explanations that do little more than comfort and coddle the minds of those who (for whatever reason) WANT to believe. The truth, it seems, is much harder to grasp. Although, if anyone, I suspect Slender Man could give it a try.

Hollow

There's some horror in the Hollow--some well-tred horror, I suspect. But I digress... Anyway, you can read more about this indie film HERE

The Pact

Who Forted: The Live Action Adventure

The minds behind Who Forted are ready to launch their much-anticipated documentary Planet Weird: A Documentary . It's strange, it's irreverent, and it may be the best paranormal thing you watch this year.