Steven Rage's Blog, page 4
June 1, 2012
It’s the Droogs n Fanny, ya Daft Radge!!
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Inspiration
• If you can’t think about a specific day, think about some everyday objects, or look at old pictures.
• Read some of the Days Like This stories on the website to give you some ideas.
• You can also discuss it with a friend and ask what their special day would be – that might give you some ideas.
• Think of important people in your life – those long standing or perhaps people who came into your life momentarily. What memories come to mind?
• Think of the stories you find yourself telling friends or neighbours, stories that come up at a dinner or at the pub – write it down as you would tell it.
Getting started
• Tell your story to a friend and ask them to scribble it for you – you can then work on something rather than sit in front of an empty page.
• Try writing for 5 minutes about a day in your life without stopping to think. This might not be the beginning of your story, but it might show you that it is pretty easy to write about a day. Ideas might start flowing then.
• Get a bit of paper and make a mind map. Jot down all the things that come to mind about the day or event. Who was there, what happened, what was the weather like etc and build up a picture in words that you can then put into story form.
Style and language
• Style is not important, what matters is the content of the story – think of something that might surprise people, or might resonate with them.
• Feel free to use Scots language if you feel more comfortable writing in it – or just use it in dialogues if you want.
• Stories written in Gaelic or a foreign language can be translated.
• Please don’t use offensive language.
Writing a good story
• The story should be personal. Personal thoughts, ideas and experiences will make your story seem real. You should be the main character of the story.
• Feelings are important. Talk about whether you were happy, scared, sad etc., and how what happened made other people feel.
• Make sure you describe things using all your senses (smell, hearing, touch)
• Have a focus for your story.
• Don’t repeat words unless making a point.
• Try writing the story the way you speak. It sounds less formal and distant.
• Your story doesn’t have to be long.
• It can help to start with a strong first sentence.
• Think about how you will end your story. Will there be a twist? Will you be reflecting about what happened that day many years later? Will it be dramatic or funny?
Remember, everyone has a story to tell. Yours is as interesting as anyone else’s!
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May 28, 2012
This is my Sincere Thank You Dance!
May 5, 2012
FREE BOOK ($4.99 value) FREE Book, I say!!
with The Grim Reverend Steven Rage
http://www.amazon.com/YOU-MORBID-WESTPHAL-ebook/dp/B0053HVI8S/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_5
for FREE book on May 7th thru May 9th, 2012.
Date:
5/7/2012 – 5/9/2012
Time:
24/7 baby!!
Location:
http://www.amazon.com/YOU-MORBID-WEST...
Category:
Horror
Summary:
Please feel free to pass this FREE book event on to whomever you want. Go on, be willy-nilly! (event lasts 3 days, thru May 9th.) Thank you so much!
Rev. Rage
Details:
WELCOME TO HARBORSIDE DISTRICT HOSPITAL… ..where three of a kind have come to live, work and kill. Born whole from the rectum of a dying patient, Morbid silently stalks the hospital’s hallways, heinously dispatching the most helpless of patients and in the most painfully repulsive of manners. In the meantime, in order to pay for his family and home that includes his ghost step-father Sammy and his pet aborted fetus Chip, Westphal has to ingest mounds of dangerous narcotics to get through his night shifts. Barely hanging on to his Care Tech gig by his fingernails, the last thing Westphal needs is to be accused of Morbid’s evil deeds. You, on the other hand, simply want to find some solace. Terminally ill from a virulent infection, and dependent on Life Support, all You beg for a peaceful and dignified demise. Shirk has other plans for You. The ancient drug-snuffling demon makes You relive all of your deadly and venial sins as he tortures You. Night after night. Until eternal Damnation begins for YOU MORBID WESTPHAL, yet again.
Show More
“
Do you like to read a book where you’re a character in it and you really sorta wish you weren’t (but you still totally love that you are)?”
Kevin Shamel | 5 reviewers made a similar statement
“
Rage does this with voice, action and tight story telling.”
Henry A. Giraldo | 5 reviewers made a similar statement
“
I read and liked this author’s first book PILATE.”
J. Krall | 4 reviewers made a similar statement
Telephone:
Website:
YOU-MORBID-WESTPHAL
Filed under: Amazon, amazon kindle, Amazon.com, American Kindle, Bizarro, blood, bloody needle, books, dark, depravity, events, paranormal, ghosts, fetish, fiction, freaks on a leash, FREE!!!, ghosts, giveaways, hardcore christian, horror, kindle, KINDLE and E-Readers, mature, monster librarian, occult, occult, occult fiction, paranormal, sexy mess, street lit., supernatural, the grim reverend steven rage, urban, urban noir Tagged: amazon, Amazon Kindle, amazon.com, Arts, bizarro, Book, books, drugs, E-book, Grim Reverend Steven Rage, horror, hospital, Kevin Shamel, killers, KINDLE, occult, paranormal, PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale, rage, Reverend, supernatural, suspense, thriller
May 1, 2012
The Grim Reverend Steven Rage Never Shuts Up!!
Cover of PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale
He’s the deacon of the diabolical, the clergyman of carnage, the cardinal of chaos. Bizarro-horror writer (and ordained minister) The Grim Reverend Steven Rage joins “The Authors Speak” to chat about his latest book – The Place In Between – just released through LegumeMan Books. Call in and ask the Rage a question . 9/25/2010 9:00 am (Arizona time) 12:00 noon (Eastern) 1 hr.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theauthorsspeakcom/2010/09/25/the-authors-speak-the-reverend-steven-rage
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By D. Gorman “Crystalline Structure Moon” – See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: The Place In Between (Paperback)
Reading steven rage is a little like being a mother who ran out of diapers even though you’re locked in a room with a baby who has been living on nothing but 5-alarm texas chili. sure, there are times when you want to puke, but you can’t help loving the baby anyway. yes, rage is still gruesome, sickening, twisted, gross, horrific, morose, profane, disgusting, morbid, blasphemous, shocking and repugnant. but these are not the only compliments i can bestow upon this promising new author. but we’ll get to that bit later. the 3 short stories that comprise this book are pure rage. the first and last story bring us back to that familiar setting, the harbor. these stories have all the requisite characters and elements that you would expect if you’ve read steven’s earlier work. there are vampire drug lords, addicts, whores, demons that crawl out of people’s rectums, perverted sex and all the dregs of society in the darkest of dark settings and situations. they are well crafted extensions of his earlier work, and there is even an effort to tie some of the stories together. visiting this setting again was a blast! he really did have something to add that was compelling and kept the pages turning as often as it kept your stomach turning. he even threw in a few surprises like an artificially created chimp-man and a sexy chicken or two. the first story relies a lot on the modern street venacular again, while remaining intelligent and creatively devised. the last two stories were not so dependant on modern slang, as the lead characters were not the sort of (shall we say) ‘sludge’ that would need to speak that way. this allows a more clear visage of rage’s ability to exhibit a writing prowess that is more accessible to a wider audience. the harbor stories do give rage fans a lot to be thankful for in expanding the previous stories with bizarre, twisted putridness. yet, my favorite story by far was the title story in this book. that is because rage steps away from the harbor and explores a new setting with a whole new disturbing set of circumstances. i truly believe that if rage continues to grow and expand and explore new horizons (especially in new settings), he can reach his full potential as a great writer. much as before, there is an intelligence to this dude’s work. his gift as a storyteller is being more finely honed in this work. the fact that he has spent time working in a hospital is apparent, and it comes through in his stories. i can honestly say this is my favorite of anything i have read from him thus far. he’s getting dangerously close to getting a 5-star review from me…..and that’s not easy to do when writing something that is so far removed from ‘ordinary literature’. so to sum up…..yes, this has all the disturbing, grotesque, alarming, horrible elements that you’d want to see in 3 strories by rage…it also has all the fine storytelling…..and he is growing and improving as a writer. i recommend this collection of stories, but i also recommend that you (metaphorically) stock up on diapers first. if he keeps expanding his horizons, he will be a supurb voice and visionary for our dark, backward, malevolent times…even if he remains the pessimistic, ignoble saint and demented sick ticket that we all know and love.
The Authors Speak Live: Steven Rage (All You Need To Know)
There are very few writers who can thoroughly disgust you and simultaneously stimulate you intellectually. Steven Rage is one of those writers, and with his latest book, “The Place In Between”, he’s hit his stride. This is his style.
I’m honored to have Rage as our first “live” guest. We’ve been boasting it all week – the Authors Speak is going live. There are many reasons for this, but the biggest is we really want the authors to speak to you directly. It’s one thing to transcribe their words for you. It’s one thing to recommend their books. It’s one thing to discuss the validity of reading. But, you’d rather hear it directly from their mouths, no?
Tomorrow at 12pm (EST), The Authors Speak launches its weekly interview series. And it’s real simple to navigate.
Step One: Follow the link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theauthorsspeakcom/2010/09/25/the-authors-speak-the-reverend-steven-rage
Step Two: Listen on your computer or your telephone. And, if you have a question, simply call in (323) 693-3330 and ask us.
Step Three: If you’re unable to catch it at the time, just podcast the thing and rock n’ roll…there it is on your iPod.
So now you know the deal. You’re set. Oh, but you want to know more about the guest. Okay.
Steven Rage is the author of 3 books: Pilate: A Brutal Bible Tale, You Morbid Westphal, and The Place In Between. His fiction is horror fiction, but falls into the realm of bizarro. And, his writing is not for the squeamish.
Tomorrow we’ll be giving out a copy of Rage’s newest book (courtesy of The Authors Speak), so if you’re not familiar with him, you soon shall be. For everyone else, here’s the Rage Sampler (seen below).
Remember, the Authors Speak because you listen…and tomorrow you shall. Join us at 12pm.If you’ve read any of Rev.Steven Rage’s fiction before, please chime in this Saturday – 9/25 – and share your thoughts with the diabolical deacon. Rev. Steven Rage will join us LIVE at 9am (Arizona time) 12noon (EST) on our new blog talk radio show:
It will be a fun time, to be sure.
An Eric Mays (Host of ‘The Authors Speak’) review of The Place In Between, by The Grim Reverend Steven Rage
Sick? Absolutely. Genius? Perhaps. Rage? All the way.
We have a certain adoration for Steven Rage at the Authors Speak. He may be one of the sickest, most twisted writers writing today, but there’s a mad brilliance to his work. Reading one of his texts is like growing wiser while simultaneously suppressing the urge to vomit. And, there’s the funny, too. Rage brings the funny in a big way.
I’m no fan of shorter fiction. I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure why I feel the need to say that everytime I review a collection. I guess I say that because it speaks worlds when I do like a collection. “The Place in Between” is a brilliant collection of some of Rage’s best work to date. And, if you’re going to do short fiction, at least tie it together. Steven Rage does this flawlessly.
On the surface, the stories in “The Place in Between” are some classic noir pieces that we’ve heard before. If you’ve read Rage’s previous works, well, you know the man has a few tricks up his sleeves. Rage pulls out all the stops to showcase his twisted reality in which these tales take place. The landscape itself becomes a character of his crazy brain, thus giving these somewhat familiar tales a whole new slant.
“The Place In Between” is the title of the strongest piece in the collection. Imagine a Fasutian tale that were written and directed by John Waters and David Lynch and you start to gather a little of where Steven Rage’s mind is. The book feels heavily influenced by both talents – the seedy, dark, weird spliced with the scatological.
Go ahead and order it, folks. But be warned: this book is disgusting. You’ll need a strong stomach to handle it. But the reward and payoff is huge. It’s not gross for the sake of gross. It’s dark fiction at it’s finest.
Go ahead and give The Authors Speak LIVE! a listen. Maybe even give us a call and we’ll tawk….no big whoop!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theauthorsspeakcom/2010/09/25/the-authors-speak-the-reverend-steven-rage
‘click’ here to get yours! Through the sheer shock of his presentation, Rage forces readers to consider the alternatives, to look at the garbage in the streets, to see what is swept into the gutters at night right before all decent people awake to see another cleaned up version of the day.
bloody needle, somebody bleeding, gothic comment tag, sexy mess, sexy bleeding vampire pics
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April 30, 2012
The Devil’s in You a Mile Deep!!
“Oh Ancient and Glorious One I call to thee. From the age before the heaven and the earth were lifted to their places. In the time before time you have reigned,” spoke the human male. The room was dark candle-lit and smoky with thick waves of incense. Whispers and sudden muted shrieks were heard from the invisible forces. The gate opened wide. “Before there was light when darkness stained existence,” he called out. He unsheathed the dagger and presented it skyward. “You have reigned. Before the Sun and the Moon,” he said, “before the holy mother dried and gave forth life, you have reigned.” The noises through the spiritual door grew stronger and louder. The dark magic brought forth cold and palpable presence. A stab of raw fear clutched the human’s yammering heart. His breath fogged thick in front of him. “I call out to thee, oh Ancient One who threatens from Without. The Lord of Darkness, the Master of Chaos, the Unborn and Most Beloved. Come to me,” he called still, “The Dog God, the Dragon God, the Sea Monster, the Master of Magicians. I implore thee. Hear my plea. I pledge to you my life. I give to you my will, oh Mighty One, if only you make your presence known,” the father said. He sliced open his muscled chest. Blood dripped onto the male child splayed helpless before him. “I offer up my only son’s precious soul. To be your slave, work your will. To do as you please. I give him to you, oh Morning Star, oh Lucifer. Be there blessings to me. I beseech thee, Lord. In return I pledge eternal obedience to you. All the power and all the glory shall be unto thee and so it must be. Until the most holy day when you ascend the Ladder of Lights and ride in triumph through the gates of the Sacred City,” he proclaimed loudly. He paused a moment to catch his breath. “I await your command,” he continued, “I seek only to serve your whim.” He pointed the dagger tip downward and held the sharp blade aloft. He looked down at the babe before him. The room was chilly and full. He could feel unseen creatures slithering around him. They were touching his naked skin and tickling his middle, “A servant or sacrifice!” the bloody, wriggling infant’s father called out. He raised the sharpened dagger as high as he could above his son. He held it tight with clenched hands. He waited to plunge it deep in his baby’s breast.
“Spare him,” a voice behind the human commanded. He lowered the blade, but he dared not turn around. He knew the devil was there right behind him. And although he worshipped the Fallen Angel with all his heart and mind he did not want to face him. The Diabolous stood eight feet tall. He rose up through the portal of the chalked pentagram on the floor and stood before his quaking servant. “He shall be mine.”
Filed under: alternate history, Amazon, amazon kindle, Amazon.com, American Kindle, Bizarro, blog, books, brutal bible tale, christianity, dark, depravity, events, paranormal, ghosts, Extreme Fiction, fiction, ghosts, giveaways, hardcore christian, horror, kindle, KINDLE and E-Readers, occult, occult, occult fiction, paranormal, serial killers, sexy bleeding vampire pics, sexy mess, supernatural, suspense, thriller, torture porn Tagged: amazon, amazon.com, Arts, bizarro, blood, books, demons, drugs, experimental, occult, Online Writing, paranormal, PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale, supernatural, suspense
April 25, 2012
Totally Psychadelic Short Novels You Can Eat In a Weekend!!
Cover of PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale
Products sampled from this guide:
FREE KINDLE version, 4-25-12…FREE, I say!! 
PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale,
is the story of Pilate, a drug lord vampire in this re-telling of Christ‘s final days set in modern times in a Midwest American ghetto. When given another chance to save the Earth’s new female Christ, will the re-incarnated Pilate choose to protect Her, or wash his hands in this life as in his first. Be warned: The Harbor is wicked. The violence is graphic and brutal. The terror is palpable. Pilate is not your parents’ bible story.
The Place In Between PRINT: When Del is sent pictures of his wife’s latest affair, he reasons a .45 caliber bullet will answer his problems. Del wants to seek revenge. Sure enough a demon shows up with her silky-sweet promises. Then the medical ambiance twists dark and cruel beyond anything any one of them could’ve imagined. Please Note: Steven Rage’s literary assaults contain graphic violence, illicit drug use, non-consensual extreme sex, and potentially offensive material given the religious references. Be forewarned … Brutal Bible Tales are not for the faint of heart. NC-17.
Rotten Little Animals
Imagine you are a typical 13 year old boy, just glancing out of your bedroom window. Just daydreaming, drifting along, watching the neighbor lady with sugar MILF plums dancing around in your fevered little head, when something in the adjacent yard catches your eye. Something truly strange. A movie being filmed. With animals. By animals. Talking, acting, filming, directing. And just when your young mind begins to register the shock of that crazy scene, the animal production crew notices YOU. Oh, no. Humans can’t know that ALL animals can talk. Nature’s delicate balance will be thrown completely out of whack. It is the animal world’s only real Law and the film crew just broke it.
The boy must be silenced.
Therein lies the heart and guts of this wickedly funny Bizarro novella from newcomer Kevin Shamel. With Dirty Rat, Filthy Pig, Scaredy Cat and many other marvelous animal characters, Shamel paints his imaginary (we hope!) world of liquor guzzling, dope doing, coital fiending, ultra-violent animals that will make you show a wee bit more respect and love to Fido and Fluffy than you might normally give them.
The pacing of the story is superb and the descent into this mad world was just right. My hat’s off, once again, to the Bizarro folks at Eraserhead for another gem of a tale (tail?).
Kevin Shamel’s “Rotten Little Animals” is more fun to read than a barrel full of drunken monkeys and randier than a lab full of stoned test bunnies.
Now, if you will excuse me. The Reverend had better take his pit bull, Bennie, out for a nice long walk. You know… just in case.
“Here, Bennie! Daddy loves you…”
Carnageland
Jeez-O-Petes! I’m telling you, Eraserhead Press has such an uncanny knack for mining new writing talent. In Carnageland author David Barbee showcases his talent in a tale that kept me turning the pages and chuckling delightfully. BTW, have you ever seen the Reverend chuckle delightfully? It’s pretty Mary. Don’t tell anyone.
The alien invader, 898, has been assigned to violently soften up Carnageland prior to the full scale invasion. Carnageland is a world who’s inhabitants seem to mimic all of our favorite childhood stories. And not just Rapunzle and dwarves and flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz and whatnot, but also Bizarro versions of Peter Pan pirates and even ol’ Harry Potter and his pals.
898 has to slice and dice his way through these popular characters and many, many others (the wizches were superb). 898 must rid any and all opposition to the forthcoming invasion. It is 898′s first mission and he must succeed. Glory and a nice little promotion are on the line. 898 tackles his task with much vim, vigor and splattered bits and pieces.
My favorite ‘character’ in Carnageland has got to be 898′s weapon of choice: the DOOMSHOOTER! What’s so cool about this alien gun is that every foe encountered gets shot with a completely new, weird and wonderfully violent means of dispatch. All kinds of crazy things emerges from the business end of said Doomshooter. I don’t want to tell you all the awesome stuff that comes out… that was a big chunk of the fun for the Reverend. I don’t want to take that away from you. It would be a sin and awfully hypocritical of me, so…
For a reader as jaded as Rage, this fun Bizarro tale was a breath of fresh air.
Archelon Ranch
What happens to an author’s characters when their services are no longer required? Will they accept their increasingly anemic demise? Or will they break out and attempt to be something more?
This is the premise (at least my interpretation) of Bizarro Beef Cake Garrett Cooks’s Archelon Ranch.
The story is told from Clyde‘s POV. Which is interesting being that Clyde is Bernard’s brother. Bernard, not Clyde, is the annointed protagonist in this tale. Bernard doesn’t appreciate it though. Archelon Ranch is Bernard’s destiny, but Clyde’s going there too. Whether Garrett Cook (the author and therefore god of this book) likes it or not. Cheeky monkey!
Filled with weird characters such as self-aware headgear, rabid dinos, gilawalruses, a self-absorbed Rev. (may the plot preserve us), randy cannibal Suburbanites and the worst shopping mall you have ever been to.
Archelon Ranch is a crazy weird tale penned by the crazy weird Bizarro pulp-smith Garrett Cook and all he wants is a little Objectivity.
Here’s a little taste of the pasta sauce: “There is no future for the drowned, no body for this casket. There are no attendees for this funeral. There are no readers for these poems.”
Shoot, son! That’s some gorgeous filth right there.
And ain’t you glad he did.
You Morbid Westphal
when it comes to the grotesque and bizarre, rage thinks outside the pine box (casket, that is). this is a short but tasty little treat for those who like their literature to run on the sick and twisted side. as with his book about pilate, rage combines a knowledge of modern street/drug culture and slang with an intelligent wit and a lyrical sense of prose. although written in prose, it has a certain poetic flow that maintains the sick depravity you expect to see in rage’s work. it’s short, but complete unto itself. it doesn’t need to be any longer than it is…and it almost comes off as reading like a morbid, morose, sick, demented, profane version of The Iliad and The Odyssey (in form, not in content). and it really is worth reading…if you like this kind of sick stuff, which I do. as i said, it’s not just gross…there’s an intelligence and a worthy writing style in rage’s work. it’s hard to explain. all i can say is: if i were ever to be reincarnated as another charlie manson, i would definitely want steven rage in my family. this is an inventive story of woe and regret and sex and things crawling out of notoriously uncomfortable body orafices that is not to be missed. if you like the demented and bizarre, give this short but tasty little number a try. it’s like chicken eyeball soup with entrails for your shriveled, rancid soul.
Shatnerquake
It is Mr. Shatner’s world and we are just in it. There are more William Shatners in Shatnerquake than you can shake a light saber at. My personal fave was the Rescue 911 Shatner, telling all who will listen that this is really happening.
For the Real Shatner, the convention was just one of many he has had to endure. All was going just swell until the worshippers of Bruce Campbell decide to set off a ‘fiction bomb’ with the intention of wiping from the face of the Earth the very existence of Shatner. Instead, the convention is filled to the breaking point with every character Shatner ever played, including himself, himself and even himself. A veritable Shatnerpalooza ensues with convention nerds getting the same dose of violently comic Burk madness as do the Campbellians and the many Shatners themselves.
I was fortunate enough to see the mad hatter in action, doing his one-man Shatnerquake reading/slash/show at the BizarroCon in Portland last year. It was every bit as zany and cool as he is. I laughed my fool head off.
The book is just as fun. Treat yourself to the madcap mayhem as only a Bizarro Brutha like Jeff Burk can do.
Get your Uhura all dolled up in her shortest red uniform dress and set your phasers to stun. Shatnerquake…is…energized!
Piecemeal June
A lovely work of art, bundled with body parts and glued together with secretive secretings. Taking place between two worlds, this debut novella from noir freakmunster Jordan Krall takes the reader to places, perhaps they should not want to go. Fast-paced and in your face, “June” has got it goin on and on and on until all her parts are in one place. Everybody wants June, but whom will she choose when all is said and dead and bludgeoned? Read this tasy bit of crumpet and see if you can keep it down. Try Krall’s “Squid Pulp Blues” available now and “Fistful of Feet” coming soon!Squid Pulp Blues
Murderland Part I – H8
This review is from: Murderland Part I – H8 (Paperback)
This first installment is a thrilling ride through the post-modern American landscape. Serial killers are idolized as pulp heroes, more popular than sports, film and music icons. Jeremy hunts these bloody memebers of the new famous and their potential victims, all while posing as a mild-mannered part-time pharmacist. Jeremy has everyone fooled until he leaves out his incriminating journal…
Garrett Cook’s Murderland series starts off with a big bang boom, baby. Looking forward to the next one!!
Squid Pulp Blues
This review is from: Squid Pulp Blues (Paperback)
Kids these days. But making sure your drugs are free of tentacled marine-life aside, things just keep getting stranger and stranger in Thompson, NJ. Three stories linked together, Jordan Krall’s Squid Pulp Blues is a crime and fun-filled creep-coaster ready to satisfy all your noir, dirty-diaper and midget hooker needs. Check out Piecemeal June and Fistful of Feet coming soon.Piecemeal June
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March 15, 2012
Caught Here Between a Pimp and a Hard Place …
PRINT and KINDLE Editions!
FROM 'BLOOD AND BUBBLEGUM' A TWISTED TALE IN "THE PLACE IN BETWEEN"
Juan went back to the same dark shoddy bar, again. And, again, he went without Mary. She stayed away to tend to Bubblegum, keeping her stoned and happy. The comely coop-chick still thought they both had a sex crush on her. They let that cluck-fuck fantasy remain intact.
"I wanna shove it up her tiny stink-hole."
Juan needed to find Pilate, this time, for a face-to-face meeting. Nobody knew the vampire, or where he cribbed or how to contact him. It didn't matter, however. Juan wanted no one but his Mary and him in on this plan. The Harbor may be a post-industrialized ghetto shit hole, but they knew small town rules still applied. Everybody knew everybody's business: who was zoomin' who. It's just like Mayberry, but with a much higher body count. Except in Mayberry, Andy and Barney wouldn't let you get the skin flayed off your body while fucking a dead dog for a 5K NewRupee auto-deduct.
"Fuckin' squares!"
They could tell no one; trust no one. One word of what they were planning and niggas might kill them simply because they hadn't thought of approaching the vampire Plata dealer first.
Once again, Juan made his way through the drunk and fucked-up bar crowd. He was nervous as all hell. He'd been drinking more than he should, smoking super-strong ghetto weed constantly. Finally, after almost two weeks of this nerve-wracking shit, Mary pleasantly surprised him with a handful of muscle relaxing pills which he doled out to himself; one at a time. It helped a great deal as he trolled the same sleezy, sticky, loser filled bar, night after fucking night, waiting for Pilate. He was worried the blood-drinker wouldn't show up and even more nervous that he might.
Juan did a perfunctory head check of the patrons, seeing no Pilate around, had to pee. With some growing dismay, he pushed back, deep into the bar, toward the back hallways, stairs and the toilets.
Juan split the curtains of human skin, replete with freckle, scar and mole stains, and pierces the confines of That. He entered the first hallway. Juan took the stairway down, following the signs to the bathrooms. Humans and Halflings alike were engaged in all manners of drug consumption and sexual congress. A young girl was tugging on folks, pleading with them all for the return of her hymen. Juan just shook his head. How the fuck should he knows where her freshness seal is? Shit.
KINDLE Version!
"Shit!"
Juan stepped down about six more feet before he came to the first body. The male was long dead, judging by the smell. But that didn't give the old woman with a bald, spotted scalp the right to straddle his below the knee leg amputation. She periodically coughed up mucous from her blow hole onto her hand. The old woman used it to further lubricate the dead fuck's stitched, blunted stump-cock. As Juan carefully and quietly passed her by, he noticed she was vaguely see-through.
"We gotta go through Hell's Own asshole, just to take a piss?"
Ignoring Morbid patter; –"Hello?"– Juan kept working his way down in to the dark red smoke, until he finally reached the landing. There he saw a man with his hands secure-tied behind him. A taut, tight rope of aborted fetuses pulled up the man's wrists. The babies were secured to each other by their own long, convoluted umbilical cords. A sulfur and sugar smelling pit-demon was feeding the rope of abortions through a dog skull pulley. The man's mouth was buried on a firebrand. The acrid smoke curled from his burning mouth. The demon stared hard at Juan whilst he pulled on the rope. He dislocated the man's shoulders and kept pulling. The man never made a sound. Only his tears bore witness to his True Pain.
"Can I go to school here? It looks like they got some Level 10 pain downtown, Bubbie!"
The restroom was filthy and crowded thick with men pissing. Trannies were sucking dick, their johns holding cash above their bobbing head as a promise. Drugs were being snorted, deals going down. Some nigga was desperate enough to tie his shit off in this horrid crapper in one of the door-less stalls, flicking up a vein, trying to feel for a bump to target his needle.
"Gross."
Juan went into one of these stalls. Some passed out fuck, pockets having already been turned out, slumped over to the side, head planted into the feces smeared wall. He considered trying to wake him or dragging him off the seat. Instead, it was most expedient to simply pull out his pecker and piss on the motherfucker. He wouldn't care.
Juan was just shaking it and zipping up when he sensed someone. He looked up and right into the face of the old man with the big mass of dreadlocks again. The same polished slummin' dude that was trying to holler at their Bubblegum. He smiled cruelly at Juan. His jumpy nerves made him cringe.
"You sure you want this, dear fellow?" asked mister fancy dreads.
"Want what?" Juan retorted, confused. The old guy is human, not a vampire, not a demon. That means dreadlocks teleported himself here. Other than the Indian Army, Juan had never meant anyone who could afford teleporting. He figured if someone teleports themselves into this shithole, Juan had better pay attention to what dreads was saying. At least dreads didn't have to go back up through all that shit to get to the bar again. Juan would.
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"After God deserted us, the doomed and damned crawled up from the Great Pit to live and breed with us."
"Are you sure you want to meet the blood drinker?" he asked Juan.
"What's it to you?" Juan wanted to know, getting wide with the cunt out of a deep-seeded need to not kowtow. It was ingrained and had gotten Juan into trouble many times.
"Don't get smart with me, young man," he admonished. "I am The Good Doctor," he began. "I am Pilate's sponsor and protector. You need to be sure of what you wish for."
"Why's that?" Juan asked, a bit more politely.
"Because it may just come true," The Good Doctor stated. And then he winked out.
Just then a cold hand dropped solidly on to Juan's shoulder from behind. It was strong. The talons growing out of the split fingertips dimpled Juan's coat, punctured the cloth, and pressed into his flesh. Juan was surprised at how much it hurt. He sucked it up though and stood tall.
"When you wish upon a star…"
"You got balls hunting me," the Nocturne told him. Pilate squeezed a little more and made Juan hurt a lot. "But do you have the heart?"
"Makes no nervermind who you be…"
"I'm not after you, we mean you no harm."
"What do you want then?"
"We wanted to meet you," Juan told him.
"You and the girl you were with?"
"That's right. I was hoping to speak with you."
"And you are?" the vampire asked with a bit more pressure. It was getting bad, the pain, but Juan knew a test when he felt one. Juan told him their names and intentions. "Services?" he asked, "What services?"
"Whatever you need, you know, help," said Juan, arm going numb, fingertips tingling unpleasantly.
"You two want to help me sell drugs?"
"Yes, exactly," Juan replied
"And what, exactly," Pilate mockingly replied, "makes you think I won't kill your uninvited ass where you stand?"
"Because we would not dare to seek you out empty handed, Sire," Juan told him.
"Stop the ass-licking sire shit, I don't like it," Pilate warned, "And it will not help to keep you, or your Mary alive."
"What shall we call you then?"
"Nothing yet," he said. "What do you have for me?"
"We have an offering."
"Offering? What kind of offering?"
"Blood," Juan stated," "A continuous stream of it."
The Nocturne smiled then. "Yes," he replied, "That might do."
"I can take you to Mary, where she is being kept for you. And then we can bring her to where you stay."
"And this token of your esteem is in hopes that you and Mary can work for me, with me? Is that right?"
"Yes, exactly," Juan agreed. "We can be of great value and help. We can assist and protect you."
"What do you hope to gain and I expect the truth from you," Pilate advised with one more, tiny squeeze, "Your life, where you stand, depends on it."
Juan did not have to think, Mary and his motivations had never changed. "We want in," he said simply, "And you are the way."
"The Truth shall set you free."
The vampire was silent as he removed his painfully frigid grip from Juan's shoulder, blood seeping now from the talon punctures. Juan could feel him moving close to whisper in his ear.
"Well now, seeing as you two now work for me," the vampire said, "I guess you should call me Pilate."
We're in, thought Juan.
We are!
END EXCERPT.
Where to Turn When You Want to Make your Blood Boil and your chest Heave ...
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Coming soon ...
Filed under: alternate history, Amazon, amazon kindle, Amazon.com, American Kindle, Australian Books, Bizarro, blog, blog radio, blog writer, books, brutal bible tale, dark, depravity, events, events, paranormal, ghosts, Extreme Fiction, fetish, fetish ball, fiction, freaks on a leash, FREE!!!, ghosts, giveaways, goodreads, Great Britain Kindle, hardcore christian, horror, images, kindle, KINDLE and E-Readers, mature, mature audiences, medical suspense thriller, monster librarian, nc-17, occult, occult, occult fiction, paranormal, print, print is dead, radio, serial killers, small press, smashwords, supernatural, suspense, the grim reverend steven rage, thriller, torture porn, Uncategorized Tagged: amazon, amazon.com, bizarro, blood, books, Bubblegum, cult, evil nerd empire, experimental, fiction, Fuck, ghosts, harcore, horror, Indian Army, Jesus, Juan, killers, KINDLE, legumeman, List of Pokémon characters, Mary, Mayberry, monsters, noir, occult, paranormal, Pilate, Pontius Pilate, rage, Reverend, Shit, supernatural, suspense, thriller, vampires, Washington
January 29, 2012
nobody is more brilliantly repulsive …
nobody is more brilliantly repulsive than rage, September 7, 2010
By
D. Gorman "Crystalline Structure Moon" – See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Place In Between (Paperback) reading steven rage is a little like being a mother who ran out of diapers even though you're locked in a room with a baby who has been living on nothing but 5-alarm texas chili. sure, there are times when you want to puke, but you can't help loving the baby anyway. yes, rage is still gruesome, sickening, twisted, gross, horrific, morose, profane, disgusting, morbid, blasphemous, shocking and repugnant. but these are not the only compliments i can bestow upon this promising new author. but we'll get to that bit later. the 3 short stories that comprise this book are pure rage. the first and last story bring us back to that familiar setting, the harbor. these stories have all the requisite characters and elements that you would expect if you've read steven's earlier work. there are vampire drug lords, addicts, whores, demons that crawl out of people's rectums, perverted sex and all the dregs of society in the darkest of dark settings and situations. they are well crafted extensions of his earlier work, and there is even an effort to tie some of the stories together. visiting this setting again was a blast! he really did have something to add that was compelling and kept the pages turning as often as it kept your stomach turning. he even threw in a few surprises like an artificially created chimp-man and a sexy chicken or two. the first story relies a lot on the modern street venacular again, while remaining intelligent and creatively devised. the last two stories were not so dependant on modern slang, as the lead characters were not the sort of (shall we say) 'sludge' that would need to speak that way. this allows a more clear visage of rage's ability to exhibit a writing prowess that is more accessible to a wider audience. the harbor stories do give rage fans a lot to be thankful for in expanding the previous stories with bizarre, twisted putridness. yet, my favorite story by far was the title story in this book. that is because rage steps away from the harbor and explores a new setting with a whole new disturbing set of circumstances. i truly believe that if rage continues to grow and expand and explore new horizons, he can reach his full potential as a great writer. much as before, there is an intelligence to this dude's work. his gift as a storyteller is being more finely honed in this work. the fact that he has spent time working in a hospital is apparent, and it comes through in his stories. i can honestly say this is my favorite of anything i have read from him thus far. he's getting dangerously close to getting a 5-star review from me…..and that's not easy to do when writing something that is so far removed from 'ordinary literature'. so to sum up…..yes, this has all the disturbing, grotesque, alarming, horrible elements that you'd want to see in 3 strories by rage…it also has all the fine storytelling…..and he is growing and improving as a writer. i recommend this collection of stories, but i also recommend that you (metaphorically) stock up on diapers first. if he keeps expanding his horizons, he will be a supurb voice and visionary for our time…even if he remains the demented sick ticket that we all know and love.
When One is weary of Lame Shit ...
Filed under: alternate history, Amazon, amazon kindle, Amazon.com, American Kindle, Australian Books, Bizarro, blog, blog radio, blog writer, books, brutal bible tale, dark, events, events, paranormal, ghosts, Extreme Fiction, fiction, FREE!!!, ghosts, Great Britain Kindle, hardcore christian, horror, images, kindle, KINDLE and E-Readers, mature, mature audiences, medical suspense thriller, nc-17, occult, occult, occult fiction, paranormal, print, print is dead, radio, serial killers, small press, smashwords, supernatural, suspense, thriller, torture porn, Uncategorized Tagged: Art, Christ, Crystalline Structure Moon, D. Gorman, Drug lord, fiction, Moon, Online Writing, PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale, Place, Reverend, Short story, The Place
January 28, 2012
The Grim Reverend Steven Rage Never Shuts Up!!
Reblogged from The Grim Reverend Steven Rage Blog:
Cover of PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale He's the deacon of the diabolical, the clergyman of carnage, the cardinal of chaos. Bizarro-horror writer (and ordained minister) The Grim Reverend Steven Rage joins "The Authors Speak" to chat about his latest book – The Place In Between – just released through LegumeMan Books. Call in and ask the Rage a question. 9/25/2010 9:00 am (Arizona time) 12:00 noon (Eastern) 1 hr. …
Filed under: sexy bleeding vampire pics
January 15, 2012
Sick, Disgusting, Vile…and Genius!
Available in Print and Kindle. Look for "PILATE: Director's Cut coming soon in Print from MorbidbookS
Editorial Reviews
Review
Sick, Disgusting, Vile…and Genius,
He may be one of the sickest, most twisted writers writing today, but there's a mad brilliance to his work. Reading his texts is like growing wiser …
–Eric Mays "Bizarro Author of "Naked Metam…
Sick Sick sick my kind of book!
Filled with sex and violence that'll keep you turning the pages. With a vampire feasting on an embryo and many other dreadful acts you have to check out.
—-Kipp Poe Speicher "Kipp Poe Speicher" (Canton, Ohio)
Step Aside, Passion Of The Christ!
Rage does not down play the evils of today, and he re-enforces the fact that there is no good without evil (and vice-versa) in this thrilling tale. —-A. A. A. (Illinois, U.S.A.)
Brutally Good
Compound street violence and mega-violence of the most extreme horror variety and you get a story that any horror fan would eat up. I highly recommend it. —-W. D. Hanson "AKA Ichorous" (Clarksburg, MD USA)
vivid, explicit, inventive and engrossing…with fangs on it!
Rage blatantly gawks at the darker side of our modern world and draws biblical parallels, using vampires. He mixes respectable dark poetic prose. —-D. Gorman "Crystalline Structure Moon"
Product Description
PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale,
is the story of Pilate, a drug lord vampire in this re-telling of Christ's final days set in modern times in a Midwest American ghetto. When given another chance to save the Earth's new female Christ, will the re-incarnated Pilate choose to protect Her, or wash his hands in this life as in his first. Be warned: The Harbor is wicked. The violence is graphic and brutal. The terror is palpable. Pilate is not your parents' bible story.
From the Author
Also by The Grim Reverend Steven Rage:
"The Fall of a Blood Drinking Drug Dealer"
"Rage Primer"
"BELLY: A Brutal Bible Tale"
"For All The Marbles"
"The Place In Between"
"You Morbid Westphal"
"PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale"
AND LOOK FOR "PHARMACIDE" coming soon!!
With graphic scenes of violence, illicit drug use, non-consensual extreme sex and torture Rage spits out his view of a twisted world of that is deeply woven with the intricacies of a dark, drug-infested place ruled by evil forces. Rage explores the depths of sin, the way it stains our lives, and graphically illustrates the things we fear most. He forces us to look at true sin, true villainy,
and truly offensive images of alternative realities.
Visit Rage anytime at stevenrage.wordpress.com
From the Inside Flap
PRAISE FOR STEVEN RAGE:
"Like early Tom Piccirilli mixed with Edward Lee. Get on the Rage train while you can because I have a feeling that he'll be getting bigger with each new book". Jordan Krall, author of Fistful of Feet and Squid Pulp Blues.
"You Morbid Westphal is not a book for the faint of heart. But if you're up for some of the hard stuff, you'll dig this". Garrett Cook, author of the Murderland series and Archelon Ranch.
"He weaves a world that is painted in black and white hues, where anything can happen (and often does), and is brutally visceral. You Morbid Westphal does for hospitals what Jaws did for beach getaways! Steven Rage is a masterful storyteller". Eric Mays, author of Naked Metamorphosis.
"You Morbid Westphal is very highly recommended and a real treat for anyone who enjoys their fiction warped to the breaking point and smeared in blood". Matthew Revert, author of A Million Versions of Right.
"Rage has created an incredibly creative and detailed, though disturbing world". Todd Fonseca, author of The Time Cavern.
"Steven Rage has written an enthralling tale". Harriet Klausner, #1 Amazon Reviewer.
"…a certain poetic flow that maintains the sick depravity you expect to see in Rage's work. If I were ever to be reincarnated as another Charlie Manson, I would definitely want Steven Rage in my family…it's like chicken eyeball soup with entrails for your shriveled, rancid soul". Donald Gorman, author of Paradox.
"…experience the entire book, page by page, as Steven Rage intended it – to scare, to upset, and to start and keep you thinking…brace yourself for one WILD ride". Ellen George, Top 1000 Reviewer and author of Thirst.
"His unique cadence and elaborate descriptions vividly animates every aspect of his writing". Mary Menzel, from AllTheseBooks.com
"Brutal Bible Tales stay with us long after we've turned the final page". Lila Pinord, author of Min's Monster.
From the Back Cover
Visit Rage anytime at stevenrage.wordpress.com
About the Author
Rage has created an incredibly detailed and disturbing world of unique, creative, fast paced, brutal, dark, and bizarre novels that are not for the feint of heart. There is no good without evil. No heaven without hell. No God without the Devil. The correlation is as clear as fresh blood dripping down the side of a martini glass. Only those with a drive to read about blood, gore and mega violence should read his books, if any. Save yourself. You have been warned.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
from Chapter 39…. The man standing before Judas was eight feet tall, if he was an inch. He stood there, watching the dead vampire. The man's stare made Judas feel he was a used car, bought for a song. He stood at the edge of the stand of trees."Who are you?" Judas asked, afraid. The obscenely tall man looked down at him.
"I am the Piper," Lucifer replied. "I am here to get paid."
With that the Mighty One turned on heel. Enormous footprints sinking inches into the grassy parkland followed him as he melted into the night. Satan went now to prepare a special spot for Judas Iscariot. A nice chilly spot shall be reserved for the damned vampire in the Pit of Despair. Where he shall be tormented: day and night, for all time. Until Judas begs for the pain like a warm glass of milk and forgets who he ever was.
A rustling came from the park trees, high up in them. Judas' eyes darted up and he saw them.
"Now is time," Judas heard them say. They tumbled down from the trees.
The three demons hit the ground running. They converged on Judas' shoulders. One demon slid itself around to the vampire's face and grabbed hold of both ears. The demon shoved it in and furiously thrust the vampire's lipless mouth. The demon pumped maniacally, quickly ejaculating. Clumps of greenish/brown rocketed out Judas' nose. His muffled, gagging protest coincided with tree roots erupting from spongy earth. The tree roots slid up over his hands and feet. The roots tugged them tight to the ground.
Judas struggled in vain as the other two buried claws in his skull. They were going to drink of the soup his fatal stroke had cooked up for them. The demons planned to rip Judas to shreds and dig in his brains with their forked tongues.
As soon as they could pry the lid off.
Filed under: Amazon, Bizarro, books, brutal bible tale, christianity, Extreme Fiction, fiction, FREE!!!, hardcore christian, horror, kindle, occult, religion and spirtiuality, sexy bleeding vampire pics, street literature, supernatural, the grim reverend steven rage, urban, urban noir Tagged: Amazon Kindle, Christ, Jesus, Juda, Morbid Westphal, PILATE: A Brutal Bible Tale, rage, Reverend, steven rage
