Robert Raymer's Blog, page 22
April 28, 2011
A Nice Gesture for a Struggling Young Writer
"You're a writer?" Greg asked me back in 1987, impressed. He worked at Borders in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Yes," I replied, proud that I had twenty-one publications under my belt, six of them short stories, four of which would eventually find their way into Lovers and Strangers (Heinemann Asia, 1993) In reality though, I was just starting out and had an awfully long way to go.
I was at Borders to find Harry Shaw's Dictionary of Problem Words and Expressions that someone in Malaysia had recommended. According to the book jacket, "A handy guide to the proper usage of more than 1,500 words and phrases that are often misused." I knew it would come in handy as a writer.
Unfortunately, Borders didn't have the book. Greg offered to order me a copy, but I explained that I was living in Malaysia and that I was in Ann Arbor visiting a friend. Nevertheless, Greg and I exchanged addresses and promised to keep in touch.
That evening, my friend George, who I had hired to manage the Kinko's that I set up back when I was a regional manager and setting up stores for Kinko's, told me about this guy who works at Borders who got the interview of a lifetime. Seems Jay McInerney had recently moved to Ann Arbor to escape some of the craziness that he helped to create when he published his first novel, Bright Lights, Big City. Seems all these college kids were showing up in New York and asking him to take them out on a "Bright Lights, Big City" tour. The guy recognized McInerney's name on his credit card and asked if he could interview him. George passed me the interview, and there was a picture of Greg!
"I just met him," I said, and read the interview. It was George who had even lent me a copy of Bright Lights, Big City back in 1984 shortly after it came out. George was always recommending me books along with another Kinko's manager I hired, Mike. In fact Mike was at my apartment in Madison, Wisconsin, when I got the news of my first publication, "Managing Your Time".
"You lucky, son of a bitch," Mike said, as he got into his car and drove away, angry at me. He was mad because he kept telling me how hard it was to get published; he had been trying for years, and I just published the first thing I submitted.
Mike, who got me interested in writing, had lend me a book on the writer Norman Hall, who went off to Tahiti with Charles Nordhoff and wrote the Mutiny on the Bounty series. That book fueled my imagination, and two years later I left Kinko's and moved to my own tropical island, Penang.
But, Mike was right; it wasn't so easy for me to publish my work after moving to Malaysia. I knew I needed help and that Shaw book would surely come in handy.
Later, at another bookstore in California, I did find a paperback copy. But what really made an impression on this young writer was that Greg not only found Dictionary of Problem Words and Expressions, he sent me a hardback copy all the way to Malaysia as a gift.
Last year, while shuffling more of my books home from Unimas, my car was broken into and two backpack full of books were stolen. No doubt they were expecting a computer and other goodies, not books! One of the books I lost was the Harry Shaw book, the paperback version. I still have the one that Greg sent me, which I keep handy near my computer.
I just want to say thanks, Greg, your gesture meant a lot to me. Also, I'd like to send you Lovers and Strangers Revisited, the revised version of the one I gave you all those years ago, so you can see how far I grew as a writer. Yeah, I know, I still got an awful long way to go to catch up to Jay McInerney! But if you still want to do that interview, I'm still here in Malaysia writing…
"Yes," I replied, proud that I had twenty-one publications under my belt, six of them short stories, four of which would eventually find their way into Lovers and Strangers (Heinemann Asia, 1993) In reality though, I was just starting out and had an awfully long way to go.
I was at Borders to find Harry Shaw's Dictionary of Problem Words and Expressions that someone in Malaysia had recommended. According to the book jacket, "A handy guide to the proper usage of more than 1,500 words and phrases that are often misused." I knew it would come in handy as a writer.
Unfortunately, Borders didn't have the book. Greg offered to order me a copy, but I explained that I was living in Malaysia and that I was in Ann Arbor visiting a friend. Nevertheless, Greg and I exchanged addresses and promised to keep in touch.
That evening, my friend George, who I had hired to manage the Kinko's that I set up back when I was a regional manager and setting up stores for Kinko's, told me about this guy who works at Borders who got the interview of a lifetime. Seems Jay McInerney had recently moved to Ann Arbor to escape some of the craziness that he helped to create when he published his first novel, Bright Lights, Big City. Seems all these college kids were showing up in New York and asking him to take them out on a "Bright Lights, Big City" tour. The guy recognized McInerney's name on his credit card and asked if he could interview him. George passed me the interview, and there was a picture of Greg!
"I just met him," I said, and read the interview. It was George who had even lent me a copy of Bright Lights, Big City back in 1984 shortly after it came out. George was always recommending me books along with another Kinko's manager I hired, Mike. In fact Mike was at my apartment in Madison, Wisconsin, when I got the news of my first publication, "Managing Your Time".
"You lucky, son of a bitch," Mike said, as he got into his car and drove away, angry at me. He was mad because he kept telling me how hard it was to get published; he had been trying for years, and I just published the first thing I submitted.
Mike, who got me interested in writing, had lend me a book on the writer Norman Hall, who went off to Tahiti with Charles Nordhoff and wrote the Mutiny on the Bounty series. That book fueled my imagination, and two years later I left Kinko's and moved to my own tropical island, Penang.
But, Mike was right; it wasn't so easy for me to publish my work after moving to Malaysia. I knew I needed help and that Shaw book would surely come in handy.
Later, at another bookstore in California, I did find a paperback copy. But what really made an impression on this young writer was that Greg not only found Dictionary of Problem Words and Expressions, he sent me a hardback copy all the way to Malaysia as a gift.
Last year, while shuffling more of my books home from Unimas, my car was broken into and two backpack full of books were stolen. No doubt they were expecting a computer and other goodies, not books! One of the books I lost was the Harry Shaw book, the paperback version. I still have the one that Greg sent me, which I keep handy near my computer.
I just want to say thanks, Greg, your gesture meant a lot to me. Also, I'd like to send you Lovers and Strangers Revisited, the revised version of the one I gave you all those years ago, so you can see how far I grew as a writer. Yeah, I know, I still got an awful long way to go to catch up to Jay McInerney! But if you still want to do that interview, I'm still here in Malaysia writing…
Published on April 28, 2011 02:01
April 27, 2011
Power Outage: Don't Moan—Improvise!
Yesterday when the power went out in the midst of editing on my computer, I just kept on going, in the dark . . . . Then I grabbed some other editing, and took it outside where it was nice and bright. The power outage lasted a couple of hours, but it also brought a smile to my face, because it reminded me of an article I wrote for New Straits Times in 2000, titled "No Wind, Row!" This was the first article of mine that I'm aware of that a total stranger, an editor for a highly successful magazine, was so inspired by it, she made photocopies and mailed them to her friends. Of course, now a days, we send online links!
I blogged the re-titled article (Don't Moan—Improvise) back in 2007 when I was first starting out as a blogger, but it's been revised a couple of times since then and even included in Tropical Affairs, under the "Being a Writer" section. Even though the article feels a bit dated since I was writing about the 1990's (I haven't, thank God, dusted off that manual typewriter for a long time, nor have I been playing tennis), the advice still rings true today.
Don't Moan—Improvise!
"No wind, row!" barked William Churchill, no doubt to a group of hapless sailors bemoaning the lack of wind to fill their sails. Although I'm no sailor, I often apply this nautical advice to other facets of my life. When things don't go according to plan, instead of moaning, I force myself to make a new plan by improvising. In other words, I do whatever I have to do to get what needs to be done completed on time.
For instance, in Malaysia where I live as an expat, we occasionally have power shortages, so if I'm in the middle of writing, I'll permit myself to groan a little, then I'll say, "No computer, type!" I'll dust off my ever dependable manual typewriter and get the job done. If the typing isn't urgent, I'll take advantage of the down time by completing other non-typing tasks, like editing or brain storming new ideas for articles, short stories, screenplays or novels. This is also the time to reorganize my writing notes, straighten out my files, update my non-computer records, and clear away everything that has been accumulating on my desk, so when the power – and especially my computer – is back on, I'm raring to go with a clear mind and an uncluttered office. Then on those days when I have errands to run and my car refuses to cooperate, which happens a lot with my less-than-trusty old car, I'll boldly announce, "No car, walk!" By walking, I still get to my destination and pick up some much needed exercise in the process. If the distance is too far, as is often the case, I'll take a bus or a taxi, or – if I feel truly inspired – I'll ride my bicycle. I just do what I have to do to get wherever I have to go. Instead of complaining that I have no car and use that as an excuse, I get on with my life. To make sure that I get to my destination or to my appointment on time, I'll leave early to allow for delays, and will often bring along an umbrella in case of rain as well as a book or a magazine to read while waiting for the bus or taxi. Every now and then when I go to Kuala Lumpur or Singapore, I'll make my rounds visiting magazine editors and publishers, and if I can't make an appointment ahead of time because the editor is out or if I just happened to be in the area, I'll stop in and present myself and my work. If the person I want to see is busy, which is usually the case, and if coming back later or the next day is inconvenient or impossible, I'll tell myself, "No appointment, wait!" While waiting, I'll browse through the publishers' latest publications, go over my manuscripts, and rehearse my selling pitch – for articles, short stories, or a book proposal. Invariably I get to meet the person whom I came to see, even if it's only for a few minutes while they are rushing out of the building to meet their own appointments. More importantly I've put a face behind my words and have established contact, which later will lead to sales. Now that I'm teaching writing full time and freelancing part time, I have these days, weeks, months, when there's just not enough time to complete all of my tasks, so I think back to a time management seminar I once attended and say to myself, "No time, make time!" So I'll get up an hour earlier, shorten my lunch hour, cut out unnecessary breaks, limit phone calls, cut short e-mails, avoid idle chatter with colleagues, leave the TV off, and just try to work more efficiently both at work and at home. Then during those intense periods of my life when I feel that all I ever do is work, I'll use my final battle cry, "No life, get one!" So I'll go to a movie, play tennis, visit a beach, read a novel or just play with my son who's always so full of life. Now whenever I find myself in the middle of the sea of life and there's no wind, I rarely moan or shrug my shoulders in defeat and say, "What to do?" I just do my best William Churchill imitation and get on with my life and gain a little life in the process. # # #
*Oh, it sounds like we're going to have another thunderstorm here in Borneo, so I'd better post this before the power goes out...I'll grab some romantic candles while I'm at it and get those two little boys bed to early! —Robert Raymer, Borneo Expat Writer
I blogged the re-titled article (Don't Moan—Improvise) back in 2007 when I was first starting out as a blogger, but it's been revised a couple of times since then and even included in Tropical Affairs, under the "Being a Writer" section. Even though the article feels a bit dated since I was writing about the 1990's (I haven't, thank God, dusted off that manual typewriter for a long time, nor have I been playing tennis), the advice still rings true today.

"No wind, row!" barked William Churchill, no doubt to a group of hapless sailors bemoaning the lack of wind to fill their sails. Although I'm no sailor, I often apply this nautical advice to other facets of my life. When things don't go according to plan, instead of moaning, I force myself to make a new plan by improvising. In other words, I do whatever I have to do to get what needs to be done completed on time.
For instance, in Malaysia where I live as an expat, we occasionally have power shortages, so if I'm in the middle of writing, I'll permit myself to groan a little, then I'll say, "No computer, type!" I'll dust off my ever dependable manual typewriter and get the job done. If the typing isn't urgent, I'll take advantage of the down time by completing other non-typing tasks, like editing or brain storming new ideas for articles, short stories, screenplays or novels. This is also the time to reorganize my writing notes, straighten out my files, update my non-computer records, and clear away everything that has been accumulating on my desk, so when the power – and especially my computer – is back on, I'm raring to go with a clear mind and an uncluttered office. Then on those days when I have errands to run and my car refuses to cooperate, which happens a lot with my less-than-trusty old car, I'll boldly announce, "No car, walk!" By walking, I still get to my destination and pick up some much needed exercise in the process. If the distance is too far, as is often the case, I'll take a bus or a taxi, or – if I feel truly inspired – I'll ride my bicycle. I just do what I have to do to get wherever I have to go. Instead of complaining that I have no car and use that as an excuse, I get on with my life. To make sure that I get to my destination or to my appointment on time, I'll leave early to allow for delays, and will often bring along an umbrella in case of rain as well as a book or a magazine to read while waiting for the bus or taxi. Every now and then when I go to Kuala Lumpur or Singapore, I'll make my rounds visiting magazine editors and publishers, and if I can't make an appointment ahead of time because the editor is out or if I just happened to be in the area, I'll stop in and present myself and my work. If the person I want to see is busy, which is usually the case, and if coming back later or the next day is inconvenient or impossible, I'll tell myself, "No appointment, wait!" While waiting, I'll browse through the publishers' latest publications, go over my manuscripts, and rehearse my selling pitch – for articles, short stories, or a book proposal. Invariably I get to meet the person whom I came to see, even if it's only for a few minutes while they are rushing out of the building to meet their own appointments. More importantly I've put a face behind my words and have established contact, which later will lead to sales. Now that I'm teaching writing full time and freelancing part time, I have these days, weeks, months, when there's just not enough time to complete all of my tasks, so I think back to a time management seminar I once attended and say to myself, "No time, make time!" So I'll get up an hour earlier, shorten my lunch hour, cut out unnecessary breaks, limit phone calls, cut short e-mails, avoid idle chatter with colleagues, leave the TV off, and just try to work more efficiently both at work and at home. Then during those intense periods of my life when I feel that all I ever do is work, I'll use my final battle cry, "No life, get one!" So I'll go to a movie, play tennis, visit a beach, read a novel or just play with my son who's always so full of life. Now whenever I find myself in the middle of the sea of life and there's no wind, I rarely moan or shrug my shoulders in defeat and say, "What to do?" I just do my best William Churchill imitation and get on with my life and gain a little life in the process. # # #
*Oh, it sounds like we're going to have another thunderstorm here in Borneo, so I'd better post this before the power goes out...I'll grab some romantic candles while I'm at it and get those two little boys bed to early! —Robert Raymer, Borneo Expat Writer
Published on April 27, 2011 01:47
April 25, 2011
Getting Known Through the Media - Quill April-June 2011

Published on April 25, 2011 18:53
April 24, 2011
Back to School—Change Your Belief System!
Last week I was called to school on behalf of my six-year old son who has developed a rather bad attitude toward school. He can't be bothered about losing his pencils and erasures. He can't be bothered with finding his notebooks. They're in his bag somewhere but he won't look for it. He just tells the teacher, it's not there. He's the same with homework. Can't be bothered to write it down properly, let alone actually doing it!
Got two calls two days in a row, so I went to school on a little fact finding mission to see what's really going on. Thankfully, it's not as bad as I was led to believe. Primary school kids, the headmistress told me, were constantly dropping stuff and not bothering to pick it up. They constantly misplaced their books, and—believe it or not—really don't like to do their homework!
The biggest problem, as far as I could see, was his attitude. If we could change his attitude toward school and teach him to be a little more responsible about his pencil case, his books, and his homework . . .
How about your own attitude? Is it as good as you think it is? Our attitude is based largely on our belief system, a system that was put into place when we were children, stuff we picked up from our parents and relatives, from our teachers, from our classmates, and from our friends. How we view success and failure. How we view money. How we view work. How we view ourselves. That's our belief system, and like most normal people, it is largely based on negative beliefs. Ask yourself, how do you view wealthy people? Is it positive or mostly negative? How do you view your own success? Is it positive or mostly negative? Are you diligently striving toward your goals or complaining about how unfair life is? Or how bad the economy is? Or how you can't get any decent breaks?
What many success psychologists say, our belief system is holding us back. And the biggest part of that belief system is fear. Our fear of failure, fear of rejection, and our fear of success! But who in their right mind would be afraid of success? A lot of people. With success comes responsibilities. With success comes pressure to maintain that success. A lot of people believe, once you are successful, once you're on top, the only way is down.
Lisa Jimenez, author of Conquer Fear, says "Fear is the dominant problem in your life today." She also says "Fear is a gift that was instilled in you as a means of protection and way to bring you closer to God." But "when you run away from or deny your fear, you leave the gift unopened. " However, "when your fear of success or fear of failure is exposed," she added, "you break through their control over you. Your belief system is the driving force behind your behaviors and your results." She says, "Your everyday habits are broadcasting your belief system, your fear, and your unmet needs loud and clear."
This explains why we often put stuff off until the last minute, or why we dramatize stuff when it goes wrong so we can "be the star in our own live dramas!" See, the whole world is out to get me! No wonder I can't get a head. If you had a boss (spouse) like mine…
Lisa also said:
Change your beliefs and you change your behaviors.Change your behaviors and you change your results.Change your results and you change your life.
It's not easy. To change your belief system, first you have to acknowledge that it was you all along who was holding yourself back. That's hard on the ego! Here's a video of Lisa Jimenez talking about the day she realized that she, too, had a fear of success. But once she realized that, and changed her belief system, and started to do the things that would make her business a success, she became . . . wildly successful. It all began when she learned to get out of her own way!
So ask yourself, are you ready to take that big leap? I am. Not only am I willing to change my own belief system about success, but also change my son's belief system about school.
--Robert Raymer, Borneo Expat Writer
Got two calls two days in a row, so I went to school on a little fact finding mission to see what's really going on. Thankfully, it's not as bad as I was led to believe. Primary school kids, the headmistress told me, were constantly dropping stuff and not bothering to pick it up. They constantly misplaced their books, and—believe it or not—really don't like to do their homework!
The biggest problem, as far as I could see, was his attitude. If we could change his attitude toward school and teach him to be a little more responsible about his pencil case, his books, and his homework . . .
How about your own attitude? Is it as good as you think it is? Our attitude is based largely on our belief system, a system that was put into place when we were children, stuff we picked up from our parents and relatives, from our teachers, from our classmates, and from our friends. How we view success and failure. How we view money. How we view work. How we view ourselves. That's our belief system, and like most normal people, it is largely based on negative beliefs. Ask yourself, how do you view wealthy people? Is it positive or mostly negative? How do you view your own success? Is it positive or mostly negative? Are you diligently striving toward your goals or complaining about how unfair life is? Or how bad the economy is? Or how you can't get any decent breaks?
What many success psychologists say, our belief system is holding us back. And the biggest part of that belief system is fear. Our fear of failure, fear of rejection, and our fear of success! But who in their right mind would be afraid of success? A lot of people. With success comes responsibilities. With success comes pressure to maintain that success. A lot of people believe, once you are successful, once you're on top, the only way is down.
Lisa Jimenez, author of Conquer Fear, says "Fear is the dominant problem in your life today." She also says "Fear is a gift that was instilled in you as a means of protection and way to bring you closer to God." But "when you run away from or deny your fear, you leave the gift unopened. " However, "when your fear of success or fear of failure is exposed," she added, "you break through their control over you. Your belief system is the driving force behind your behaviors and your results." She says, "Your everyday habits are broadcasting your belief system, your fear, and your unmet needs loud and clear."
This explains why we often put stuff off until the last minute, or why we dramatize stuff when it goes wrong so we can "be the star in our own live dramas!" See, the whole world is out to get me! No wonder I can't get a head. If you had a boss (spouse) like mine…
Lisa also said:
Change your beliefs and you change your behaviors.Change your behaviors and you change your results.Change your results and you change your life.
It's not easy. To change your belief system, first you have to acknowledge that it was you all along who was holding yourself back. That's hard on the ego! Here's a video of Lisa Jimenez talking about the day she realized that she, too, had a fear of success. But once she realized that, and changed her belief system, and started to do the things that would make her business a success, she became . . . wildly successful. It all began when she learned to get out of her own way!
So ask yourself, are you ready to take that big leap? I am. Not only am I willing to change my own belief system about success, but also change my son's belief system about school.
--Robert Raymer, Borneo Expat Writer
Published on April 24, 2011 19:42
April 22, 2011
Transactions in Thai - Escapade en Thaïlande

Escapade en Thaïlande, Robert Raymer, éditions GOPE. Cet inédit vient en complément de Trois autres Malaisie.
Escapade en Thaïlande
Le gérant du Kingman Hotel de Hat Yai scrutait les deux Occidentaux. Échoués dans le hall d'entrée, ils lisaient un journal en diagonale, discutant de leurs projets en attendant que le déluge s'arrête. Ils s'avéraient être américains, mais ils auraient tout aussi bien pu être australiens, britanniques ou allemands. Leur nationalité exacte importait peu : ils étaient occidentaux. La couleur de leur peau pouvait donc être exploitée, par eux-mêmes et par les autochtones…
Flairant la bonne affaire, le gérant – un Thaïlandais mince et affable que les deux hommes avaient déjà rencontré à quelques reprises dans le hall – s'approcha d'eux le sourire aux lèvres. Il plaisanta au sujet de la pluie et rit de sa propre blague. Les deux hommes restèrent de marbre, l'examinant même avec une forte dose de soupçon – comme ils l'auraient fait avec tout autre Asiatique les approchant sans raison apparente. Il se présenta sous le nom de Jek et voulut savoir s'ils avaient besoin de ses services. Tandis qu'ils écoutaient son boniment, leur attention s'égarait de temps en temps vers les autres clients de l'hôtel, des Malaisiens pour la plupart à en juger par les journaux qu'ils lisaient ou leur apparence. Ces derniers – qu'ils fussent malais, chinois ou indiens – venaient ici pour les massages, les prestations
1/15
Copyright © Robert Raymer 2008. Titre original : Transactions in Thai
Copyright © Éditions GOPE, mars 2011, pour la version française
Traduit de l'anglais (États-Unis) par Jérôme Bouchaud
www.troisautresmalaisie.blogspot.com – troisautresmalaisie@gmail.com
*Here is the Story Behind the Story of "Transactions in Thai". Here is the Story Behind the Story to all 17 stories from Lovers and Strangers Revisited. All but three of the stories will be in the French translation, Trois autres Malaisie.
Published on April 22, 2011 22:07
April 20, 2011
Family Stories -- the Good and the Bad
My grandfather on my father's side was killed by lightning at age 32 when my father was ten years old. My grandfather on my mother's side molested my mother when she was thirteen. He was still coming onto her even after she was married. She feared him her entire life. I never knew this until I was in my thirties. I wrote about it in the short story "Waiting for My Father to Crash", a story I mentioned in yesterday's blog about my father nearly crashing a plane.
When one of my students (from Africa though studying in Malaysia) read that story she had a confession. She too had been molested as a child but she had never told anyone about it, not even her parents, and she asked me for advice. I felt humbled by the power of my own writing. This was my story about my own parents, about the events that led to their divorce, and yet it had a powerful affect on my student from a whole different culture. By chance, I happened to know this student's father, and I advised her to talk to her parents. As a parent, I would think they would want to know. I would want to know if anything bad happened to my children so I could be there to help them overcome the pain.
When my father was in his sixties I asked him to describe what happened that day when he came upon his father, dead. His father was in horse drawn wagon with his two daughters, when lightning killed him. It didn't harm the children but it knocked down the two horses. My father was in the fields trying to bring in the cows, but the cows refused to budge because of the lightning as if they knew something bad was about to happen. So my father ran down the lane to tell his father about the cows, and that's where he found his father, lying in the lane, thrown from the wagon. The two horses still lying on the ground. His two elder sisters had already run in the opposite direction to tell their mother what just happened. When my father told me this story he became this frightened ten year old boy again.
When I came home from Malaysia for the first time after having been away for three years, I was already in my early thirties, close to the age of my grandfather when he was killed by lightning. Being so far away from home, I now wanted to hear these family stories from my parents, the good and the bad, while they both were still alive. I spoke to other relatives, too, and more truths came out, truths that left me numb. I wrote them all down in my journal while they were fresh, so I wouldn't forget.
Other truths made me laugh, like hearing my grandmother on my mother side telling me about her playing basketball in high school and college—this was back in the twenties. She went to college but neither of my parents did. She remarried after my grandfather ran off with a college girl when my mother was a toddler. The second marriage lasted over fifty years. My father, after divorcing my mother for her infidelities (one of the affects of being molested so young), is closing in on his fiftieth anniversary, too.
Sometimes people make bad choices early in their lives. Sometimes tragedies happen. Crimes, too. But these are our lives, and these are our family stories. It's up to the writer to choose how to write about them. Even the most painful of stories may bring about a happy ending for someone else, like my student who is now happily married and raising her own family back in Africa.
She has also published her first short story, a different family story, that she wrote and work-shopped in my creative writing class. Writing can be the start of the healing process for all of us. It's therapeutic. What family stories do you have? What stories do you need to write about? —Robert Raymer, Borneo Expat Writer
When one of my students (from Africa though studying in Malaysia) read that story she had a confession. She too had been molested as a child but she had never told anyone about it, not even her parents, and she asked me for advice. I felt humbled by the power of my own writing. This was my story about my own parents, about the events that led to their divorce, and yet it had a powerful affect on my student from a whole different culture. By chance, I happened to know this student's father, and I advised her to talk to her parents. As a parent, I would think they would want to know. I would want to know if anything bad happened to my children so I could be there to help them overcome the pain.
When my father was in his sixties I asked him to describe what happened that day when he came upon his father, dead. His father was in horse drawn wagon with his two daughters, when lightning killed him. It didn't harm the children but it knocked down the two horses. My father was in the fields trying to bring in the cows, but the cows refused to budge because of the lightning as if they knew something bad was about to happen. So my father ran down the lane to tell his father about the cows, and that's where he found his father, lying in the lane, thrown from the wagon. The two horses still lying on the ground. His two elder sisters had already run in the opposite direction to tell their mother what just happened. When my father told me this story he became this frightened ten year old boy again.
When I came home from Malaysia for the first time after having been away for three years, I was already in my early thirties, close to the age of my grandfather when he was killed by lightning. Being so far away from home, I now wanted to hear these family stories from my parents, the good and the bad, while they both were still alive. I spoke to other relatives, too, and more truths came out, truths that left me numb. I wrote them all down in my journal while they were fresh, so I wouldn't forget.
Other truths made me laugh, like hearing my grandmother on my mother side telling me about her playing basketball in high school and college—this was back in the twenties. She went to college but neither of my parents did. She remarried after my grandfather ran off with a college girl when my mother was a toddler. The second marriage lasted over fifty years. My father, after divorcing my mother for her infidelities (one of the affects of being molested so young), is closing in on his fiftieth anniversary, too.
Sometimes people make bad choices early in their lives. Sometimes tragedies happen. Crimes, too. But these are our lives, and these are our family stories. It's up to the writer to choose how to write about them. Even the most painful of stories may bring about a happy ending for someone else, like my student who is now happily married and raising her own family back in Africa.
She has also published her first short story, a different family story, that she wrote and work-shopped in my creative writing class. Writing can be the start of the healing process for all of us. It's therapeutic. What family stories do you have? What stories do you need to write about? —Robert Raymer, Borneo Expat Writer
Published on April 20, 2011 17:06
April 19, 2011
Finding Stories in Your Backyard

The author of They Flew Proud, Jane Gardner Birch, found her story in her own backyard. Basically it's a book about her father, but oh, it's much more than that! In the acknowledgements she wrote: "Until three years ago, I had no knowledge of the Civilian Pilot Training Program nor did I know the Boards existed (the names of those like my father who learned to fly solo from May 17, 1944 to July 17 1948). All I had was one photo of my father in a military uniform and a child's memory of an airport. That doesn't make a book…"
But she took the story of her father and made it a part of an even bigger story, the 1940's in the US, about the men and women in small towns who not only learned how to fly but also who became the backbone of this country for the sacrifices they made to support the war efforts by working in factories and by going off and fighting in World War Two, a time that so many of us know so little about.
In the forward it states: "...Now we have Jane Birch's They Flew Proud, a crisply told account of her father, Gardner Birch, his fellow pilots, and their involvement in the CPTP-WTS course of training at Grove City College, in Grove City, a small town in western Pennsylvania. Ms. Birch has done a remarkable job of piecing the story together so many years after the fact. She deserves a great deal of credit for what obviously has been a labor of love, a resounding tribute to her father and his love of aviation, and a reawakening of formative childhood memories."
Grove City, Pennsylvania is where I was born. Grove City College is where my grandparents and my brother attended. Grove City is also the setting for my short story "Waiting for My Father to Crash" that I wrote after my first visit home after three years of living in Malaysia, published in both Silverfish New Writings 5 and 25 Malaysia Short Stories, Best of Silverfish New Writing 2001-2005. Basically it's about my father who nearly crashed his plane, a Piper Cherokee. Four years later, my father did crash that plane. The engine died, and he knew he was going to crash but he was smart enough to find a back road and was lucky enough no cars were on it, and he brought it down onto that road. He was thrown out of his seat and a wing was torn off. But at age 65, he was able to walk away from that crash. He never flew again.
But now he is, thanks to this book, at least in my memory of all those flights that he took me with him, including the time we flew into the airshow at Oskkosh, the biggest aviation event in the US. (Check out the photo of the author Jane Gardner Birch at Oshkosh with, yes, that really is Harrison Ford.

They Flew Proud even went onto win the Combs Gates Award, which is presented by the National Aviation Hall of Fame (NAHF), located at Wright Patterson Air Force Base, to honor a project which best promotes or preserves America's air and space heritage. Not bad for a book that started out with a few questions about her father.
That you, Jane Gardner Birch. By writing about your father, you wrote about my father, too. You wrote about a lot of fathers and mothers who learned how to fly and how to survive WWII.
So what stories are in your back yard? I bet if you looked around you might find something that raises a few questions in your mind. Who knows, if you did a little research you might find an even bigger story, and possibly a book that only you can write.
*Here's a link to the other pilot interviews including a longer segment of my father, Bill Raymer [image error]
Published on April 19, 2011 17:51
April 18, 2011
Being Peed On (now and then) is All a Part of Writing

Sometimes this is what it feels like when you get a less-than-fantastic review for one of your books, as I did when I stumbled upon a review of Tropical Affairs that I overlooked in Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, based in Hong Kong. (I was pushing a deadline.) This is the second time Tropical Affairs has been reviewed outside Malaysia/Singapore in one month! In March it was reviewed in Holland by Expatriate Archive Centre I'm flattered that Cha chose to review it, but you can't expect everyone to love what you write. That would be naïve. Most books and movies get mixed reviewed. Not all good, not all bad. Each individual has to decide for themselves. As I wrote in an earlier blog, The Outsider Within:
"I guess you can't really call yourself a writer if someone doesn't find fault with your writing somewhere. When you put your work out there, whether in book form, in literary journals, magazines, newspapers or blogs, you have to expect some criticism, or comments regarding your competency as a writer….It's all part of the writing game like developing thick skin. Remember, it's only one person's opinion. Think of your favorite singer or band, favorite movie or TV show, favorite and most-loved book of all time, and there's going to be someone out there who absolutely hates it for a perfectly valid reason."
But as a writer, it's also important to learn from these reviews (many writers purposely ignore all reviews, good or bad, because they find them so depressing, so judgmental). True the reviewer may be way off base, but often there's some truth there. Many of the articles written for Tropical Affairs were, in fact, my first works to be published over 20 years ago, and I did go overboard on some of them. Others parts did get repeated as snippets in other pieces, often written years later in different publications. Yet when you place them all in one book, it tends to stand out. In hindsight, I wished I had left out several of the pieces, even though they had been previously published (see there's that validation!); others needed to be toned down. Also how to arrange or group your articles is never an easy decision—do it chronologically, as a memoir, or by subject matter? I will learn from this.
By the way, the more that your work reaches a wider audience outside of your home or residing country, the more open it will be to criticism, and justifiably so, but with all criticism (including off-handed remarks from loved ones, friends, and colleagues), don't let it ruin your day or your writing career (Everyone hates me, I'll never write again!) Also don't read more into it than is actually there. Often it's only one or two comments that are less than favorable, not the whole review. Let yourself cool down and re-read it later, as I just did. That wasn't so bad!
And do as I did this morning after my son peed on me. After scolding/reminding him to be more careful with his aim and after being laughed at by my wife (I think it made her day and we both had a good laugh over it!), I merely washed it off my leg. Then I showered and began the day properly, as fresh as the day I was born. A little older, a little wiser. Next time, especially early in the morning, I'll let my sons pee first. [image error]
Published on April 18, 2011 18:33
Being Peed on (now and then) is All a Part of Writing

Sometimes this is what it feels like when you get a less-than-fantastic review for one of your books, as I did when I stumbled upon a review of Tropical Affairs that I overlooked in Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, based in Hong Kong. (I was pushing a deadline.) This is the second time Tropical Affairs has been reviewed outside Malaysia/Singapore in one month! In March it was reviewed in Holland by Expatriate Archive Centre I'm flattered that Cha chose to review it, but you can't expect everyone to love what you wrote. That would be naïve. Most books and movies get mixed reviewed. Not all good, not all bad. Each individual has to decide for themselves. As I wrote in an earlier blog, The Outsider Within:
"I guess you can't really call yourself a writer if someone doesn't find fault with your writing somewhere. When you put your work out there, whether in book form, in literary journals, magazines, newspapers or blogs, you have to expect some criticism, or comments regarding your competency as a writer….It's all part of the writing game like developing thick skin. Remember, it's only one person's opinion. Think of your favorite singer or band, favorite movie or TV show, favorite and most-loved book of all time, and there's going to be someone out there who absolutely hates it for a perfectly valid reason."
But as a writer, it's also important to learn from these reviews (many writers purposely ignore all reviews, good or bad, because they find them so depressing, so judgmental). True the reviewer may be way off base, but often there's some truth there. Many of the articles written for Tropical Affairs were, in fact, my first works to be published over 20 years ago, and I did go overboard on some of them. Others parts did get repeated as snippets in other pieces, often written years later in different publications. Yet when you place them all in one book, it tends to stand out. In hindsight, I wished I had left out several of the pieces, even though they had been previously published (see there's that validation!); others needed to be toned down. Also how to arrange or group your articles is never an easy decision—do it chronologically, as a memoir, or by subject matter? I will learn from this.
By the way, the more that your work reaches a wider audience outside of your home or residing country, the more open it will be to criticism, and justifiably so, but with all criticism (including off-handed remarks from loved ones, friends, and colleagues), don't let it ruin your day or your writing career (Everyone hates me, I'll never write again!) Also don't read more into it than is actually there. Often it's only one or two comments that are less than favorable, not the whole review. Let yourself cool down and re-read it later, as I just did. That wasn't so bad!
And do as I did this morning after my son peed on me. After scolding/reminding him to be more careful with his aim and after being laughed at by my wife (I think it made her day and we both had a good laugh over it!), I merely washed it off my leg. Then I showered and began the day properly, as fresh as the day I was born. A little older, a little wiser. Next time, especially early in the morning, I'll let my sons pee first. [image error]
Published on April 18, 2011 18:33
April 14, 2011
Making Books is Fun to Watch - 1947!
In this age of computers and self-publishing your own e-book, ever wonder how those old books got made? Watch this 1947 video of "Making Books is Fun to Watch" from the Huffington Post. What a fascinating but laborious process. Kept thinking, what if someone got the lines out of sequence, or they dropped the lines and spilled those letters all over the floor.
No wonder it was so difficult to made changes in the galleys. It would be a huge process to change a couple of words here or there. Wow. And that's just for one book. How many books did they print a year, and where did they store all this stuff for future reprints? The video is 10 minutes, but I guarantee you'll never be able to look at a book the same way, especially those older books that smelled so nice, those books made the old fashioned way.
Now that you're inspired to write, go out and make your own book...the easy way[image error]
No wonder it was so difficult to made changes in the galleys. It would be a huge process to change a couple of words here or there. Wow. And that's just for one book. How many books did they print a year, and where did they store all this stuff for future reprints? The video is 10 minutes, but I guarantee you'll never be able to look at a book the same way, especially those older books that smelled so nice, those books made the old fashioned way.
Now that you're inspired to write, go out and make your own book...the easy way[image error]
Published on April 14, 2011 06:14
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