Lilian Nattel's Blog, page 2

My New Book!

See the cover! I’m honoured that it’s in the “Most Anticipated” book promotion at Indigo for pre-orders, 40% off from July 15-21! Out in the wild on August 27th! Girl at the Edge of Sky has been a labour of love–it’s taken all my skill in research and writing craft to bring to life this fictionalized story based on the real World War 2 female fighter pilot Lily Litvyak. She was short (like me), young (teenager) and shot down Nazi planes in the fiercest battles of the war. She loved flowers, she had secrets, and her fate is a matter of rumours and contradictions. Perfect for fiction to imagine her journey in enemy territory after her plane was shot down. Click here for the discount to pre-order! Thank you Indigo Books! You’ve always been my favourite.

New Blog Site

I’m currently blogging on my self-hosted website. I’ll keep posting excerpts here, and you can also find me on Facebook or Instagram–links in the sidebar!

Red Shoes

From my new blog:

On a youngish woman riding the subway. She wore a winter coat, and blue leggings, and had a suitcase on wheels. Her shoes were so red and shiny, and the pointed toes–didn’t they squish hers? I wondered how she’d react if I asked to take a photo of her shoes, and then the train stopped, the doors slid open, and she stepped out, pulling her suitcase.

Her shoes reminded me of these. Not exactly these, because at the time, I wasn’t able to take pictures–I was too emotional, and it felt disrespectful. But similar…

via Red Shoes – Lilian Nattel

Red Shoes

[image error]On a youngish woman riding the subway. She wore a winter coat, and blue leggings, and had a suitcase on wheels. Her shoes were so red and shiny, and the pointed toes–didn’t they squish hers? I wondered how she’d react if I asked to take a photo of her shoes, and then the train stopped, the doors slid open, and she stepped out, pulling her suitcase.

Her shoes reminded me of these. Not exactly these, because at the time, I wasn’t able to take pictures–I was too emotional, and it felt disrespectful. But similar.

These shoes–something like them, red and strappy–were in a pile of shoes that was part of an exhibit at Auschwitz, along with hair and baby’s dresses. The red shoes stood out in that pile–they made me wonder about the owner, and where she’d worn them, and whether she was enthralled by the colour of her shoes. And then I thought about all the shoes and the rest of it and the people who’d lived and had had hopes and worries, and I said as much of the Kaddish, the mourner’s prayer, as I could remember. And I didn’t take any pictures.

I didn’t cry. Tragedy doesn’t make me cry. Instead I broke out in cold sores, large and ugly, all over my lips.

What makes me cry is beauty, and the triumph of our good impulses, and the bravery of someone ordinary–a young woman who wears shiny red shoes, bold in the darkness of cattle cars.

 

How To Take Back Facebook & Defeat Trolls

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I just read an interview with tech people who founded the internet & social media. They were appalled at how their idealism and naivite has shaped up into a nightmare. But one thing stood out for me: how algorithms have changed. Timelines used to to emphasize likes (remember the days of mostly cat videos?). Now it’s all about driving engagement. That’s what advertisers are looking for. And “free” social media is all about getting ads. So what drives engagement?

This:

They’re basically trying to trigger fear and anger to get the outrage cycle going, because outrage is what makes you be more deeply engaged. (Roger McNamee)

And that feeds the trolls. Russian trolls & others aiming to disrupt democracy manipulate us by playing on either righteous anger or bigotry. They don’t care which–they’re out to stir us up, to sew chaos and hate.

So if social media is really about connecting people, as Mark Zuckerberg claims, and not about destroying the fabric of civil society, let’s do it. Let’s take it back by engaging with positive content on social media. Let’s have meaningful interactions with actual friends. Let’s stop feeding the trolls.

I can imagine someone saying, but shouldn’t we be aware of social problems? Yes–and so subscribe to the news sources that you trust. Read blogs. I recommend progressive bloggers. But if you’re of another political persuasion–that’s fine. In our democracy, we can have different opinions. We can have conversations. Talk to me. Get involved irl. If something is really critical, sure share it on social media, share it everywhere…but be wary. Because it will make the trolls pat their stomachs and burp.

What Mark Zuckerberg Didn’t Tell You

FaceBook tracks you across the internet on any website that has a FB button, whether or not you are signed into FaceBook and even if you don’t have an account. Is that creepy or what? There is a solution, and at the end of the post I’ll provide it, so scoot down if you’re in a hurry.

Zuckerberg addressed the congressional committee of old men who aren’t tech savvy by side-stepping the real issue. He apologized and why not? It doesn’t cost him anything. To every question, he pointed out that FaceBook users can choose to change their ad settings. That has nothing to do with data collection!

A user can decide not to see ads based on the data that FaceBook is collecting. That might give the illusion that FaceBook doesn’t track practically every website you visit and all associated data. What’s really valuable is how your clicks and searches relate to each other, not for you individually, but as part of a larger group. Say that people who buy guns, for example, also use some brand of toothpaste and click a lot on stuff to do with walls. Whatever the ad settings, FaceBook still has that data and can do with it as it pleases. For example sell it to trolls.

I’m not concerned about targeted ads. It’s fine with me if I see an ad based on my activity within Facebook. It’s the price for the “free” service of using FaceBook. Something has to pay for all the servers and staff and Zuckerberg’s jet. But I am not ok with FaceBook secretly gathering information outside its service to plump its wallet.

What is frightening is how all the data gives trolls ammunition to undermine democracy and fuel hate. That is dangerous. And it tempts toothpaste sellers to do the same. Remember the recent Aeroplan survey that asked about male superiority? What were they going to do with the answer? I don’t know…but the question was overt and when people got upset, Aeroplan backed off. Does FaceBook? No, it’s still gathering and selling data all over the web. None of that was addressed by the congressional committee or Zuckerberg. He just kept on feeding them apology pablum.

FaceBook isn’t going anywhere. The old men making the laws don’t even know what to ask, so I can’t see them drafting effective legislation. That’s probably why Zuckerberg was happy to ask for regulation. He knows it won’t change business. So…it’s up to us to contain the beast. And here’s how.

To protect your data, you’ve got good options Use Firefox as your laptop browser with two extensions. First, UBlock Origin (there is another extension with a similar name, make sure it’s origin). That blocks tracking. Second, add Facebook Container. That contains your facebook page and stops it from communicating with other tabs. If you’re devoted to Chrome, you can add UBlock Origin and Privacy Badger extensions. On your phone, use Firefox Focus–it’s fast and it automatically blocks ads and tracking. Alternatively, if you love having tabs, you can use Samsung Internet, add a plug-in from Google Play: Disconnect for Samsung, enable it in the browser, and enable Tracking blocker.

While I’ve been writing this post, UBlock has stopped 11 sites from tracking my data. Well done, Firefox![image error]

The Secrets Mark Zuckerberg Keeps

FaceBook tracks you across the internet on any website that has a FB button, whether or not you are signed into FaceBook and even if you don’t have an account. Is that creepy or what? There is a solution, and at the end of the post I’ll provide it, so scoot down if you’re in a hurry.

Zuckerberg addressed the congressional committee of old men who aren’t tech savvy by side-stepping the real issue. He apologized and why not? It doesn’t cost him anything. To every question, he pointed out that FaceBook users can choose to change their ad settings. That has nothing to do with data collection!

A user can decide not to see ads based on the data that FaceBook is collecting. That might give the illusion that FaceBook doesn’t track practically every website you visit and all associated data. What’s really valuable is how your clicks and searches relate to each other, not for you individually, but as part of a larger group. Say that people who buy guns, for example, also use some brand of toothpaste and click a lot on stuff to do with walls. Whatever the ad settings, FaceBook still has that data and can do with it as it pleases. For example sell it to trolls.

I’m not concerned about targeted ads. It’s fine with me if I see an ad based on my activity within Facebook. It’s the price for the “free” service of using FaceBook. Something has to pay for all the servers and staff and Zuckerberg’s jet. But I am not ok with FaceBook secretly gathering information outside its service to plump its wallet.

What is frightening is how all the data gives trolls ammunition to undermine democracy and fuel hate. That is dangerous. And it tempts toothpaste sellers to do the same. Remember the recent Aeroplan survey that asked about male superiority? What were they going to do with the answer? I don’t know…but the question was overt and when people got upset, Aeroplan backed off. Does FaceBook? No, it’s still gathering and selling data all over the web. None of that was addressed by the congressional committee or Zuckerberg. He just kept on feeding them apology pablum.

FaceBook isn’t going anywhere. The old men making the laws don’t even know what to ask, so I can’t see them drafting effective legislation. That’s probably why Zuckerberg was happy to ask for regulation. He knows it won’t change business. So…it’s up to us to contain the beast. And here’s how.

To protect your data, you’ve got good options Use Firefox as your laptop browser with two extensions. First, UBlock Origin (there is another extension with a similar name, make sure it’s origin). That blocks tracking. Second, add Facebook Container. That contains your facebook page and stops it from communicating with other tabs. If you’re devoted to Chrome, you can add UBlock Origin and Privacy Badger extensions. On your phone, use Firefox Focus–it’s fast and it automatically blocks ads and tracking. Alternatively, if you love having tabs, you can use Samsung Internet, add a plug-in from Google Play: Disconnect for Samsung, enable it in the browser, and enable Tracking blocker.

While I’ve been writing this post, UBlock has stopped 11 sites from tracking my data. Well done, Firefox!

Approaching Spring Equinox

Day and night are nearly even, but the world feels darker. It’s their turn, I tell myself. People who feel cheated, left out, they’ve got representation. I’m not talking about Trump and his circle, but our Canadian version, our Doug Ford, leading the Conservatives in Ontario. His brother was an early example of of crass populism, our drugged up Toronto mayor, paving the way.

It might be the time for people who feel they’ve finally got a public voice. And if they despise many things I place great value on–art, scholarship, public broadcasting and public institutions of all kinds–that’s their right. But if Doug Ford’s populism draws in haters, that’s something else. In a democracy, other citizens may not share my priorities. I can accept that they may elect someone who shares theirs. But I cannot accept hate. And I won’t.

If hatred comes to our government, as it has to governments in the U.S., the UK, and Europe, then I will riot, all 5′ 2″ of me, all introverted and readerly, if that’s what it takes to say no to it.

I would rather sit with the light. Whether it’s in the long summer days or the shortening of winter, I would rather love my neighbour peaceably. But if love requires it, I will riot.

On Embarrassment

I had a housemate, once, with a mean cat. At the start of every summer, she’d have her cat shaved so he wouldn’t overheat. I always had to watch out for Rocky, her cat. He had a habit of leaping up to bite my legs. He also used to torment my cat, growling and swatting with his claws. My cat was large, fat, gentle and shy. He was no match for Rocky, except at the start of summer. When Rocky was shaved, he looked like a feline poodle. He was clearly conscious of his suddenly scrawny appearance and slunk around close to the floor when he wasn’t hiding. Once his fur grew back, he returned to unabashed stalking and leaping and biting and swiping with his claws. I’m guessing the summer shame was forgotten, and that’s how humans differ. I don’t know about apes—our close relatives can remember prior relationships, so maybe they, too, ruminate and obsess and privately blush over past embarrassments and shames. Maybe we need to be more like Rocky, and when the fur grows back, boldly leap and swipe and forget the shame of our temporary nakedness.

Unlikely Saints

It’s been about a year since I went to emergency with my hockey playing concussed daughter. At the time, all that concerned me was her head, but I instinctively sat between her and the homeless man. Beside him, on the other side, was an old man and a middle-aged woman, his daughter I assumed. I felt sorry for the old man, having to sit next to the homeless guy, not because he smelled, which he did, but because he was edgy, unpredictable. I was watchful, protective, ready to move my daughter, who was playing a game on her phone.

One of the nurses sauntered over to the homeless guy. “Let’s see that foot,” she said.

“It’s kind of dirty.”

“Never mind. Just take off your sock.”

He took it off. The foot was swollen and bluish.

“Did you fall off the roof or jump?”

“Fell,” he said.

“Were you drunk?”

“Oh no,” he said.

“Were you on any drugs?”

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, I was.”

“Okay, we’ll get to you soon. How about your arm—that’s a terrible bandage. Did you get that at ER?”

He nodded. “Yesterday.”

“We’ll take care of that, too.”

The old man didn’t hide the fact that he was listening. “Not too bad,” he said to the homeless guy. I worried for him. I didn’t think it was a good idea to start conversations with strung out men showing evidence of careless violence. “Look what I’ve got.” He raised his pants leg, showing off old gouges and scars in his calf.

“Wow,” the homeless guy said. “How’d you get that?”

“I rode my motorcycle into a van. Back when I was young.”

“Hell raiser,” the homeless guy said.

The old man smiled. No, he grinned, face lighting up. “You know anyone in Innisfill?” he asked. (It reminded me of the little girl on a beach in Israel who asked me if I knew Ellen in Canada, and I wondered if he was losing his marbles.) “I’m from Innisfill,” he said.

“You know Jackson Radfill?” the homeless guy asked.

“Sure,” the old man said. “He lives around the corner.”

“He’s my cousin. I used to play at that house.”

Right then the nurse called us to an examination room. All I cared about was my daughter’s head, and, over the days that followed, waiting for her to smile again. But the conversation stuck with me, the pleasure on the old man’s face, the respect he gave to the guy next to him, their mutual interest in each other, the unlikely discovery of connection lifting both out of the moment. Something ordinary, but uncommon, a kind of unselfconscious decency. A hell raiser with long scars and scooped out flesh and unstinting humanity.