Janet Thompson's Blog, page 43

What’s Your Story?

As many of you know, I’ve been writing the past three months on a new book which will be out March, 2016, How Good is God? I Can’t Remember … Creating a Culture of Memories.  I hope you’ve enjoyed all the guests who have enriched this blog with posts on many varied topics. I’m blessed to have so many talented and gifted author friends and I know you enjoy hearing from them.

I was surprised when several people asked me if I thought this would be my last book? I wasn’t sure why they would ask that except for the fact that we were under great spiritual attack and duress while I wrote on a topic that the enemy hates–remembering God in a culture that is quickly forgetting God.

But that would never stop me from writing and speaking for the Lord, until the day He decides to take me home. My ministry is About His Work Ministries and I plan on being about His work until my last breath. So it might not surprise you that I’m gearing up for the next book. I gave you a glimpse into it several months ago when I asked for stories, but I switched plans when the How Good is God? book had such a short deadline. So now I’m back to the mentoring book and I need your stories.

Do You Have a Mentoring Story?

Do You Have a Mentoring Story?
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If you follow me, you know that my passion is mentoring—Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s faithfulness. Since I wrote Woman to Woman Mentoring: How to Start, Grow, and Maintain a Mentoring Ministry in 1997, God has been starting mentoring ministries in churches all over the world, and mentors and mentees (M&M’s) have been experiencing the blessings of mentoring.

Over the years, many ministry leaders have sent me stories about starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry, and many M&M’s have sent me their stories too; but I also know there are many untold stories that would bless my readers. Will you help me write this book?

I Need Your Help

The working title is Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness. Here’s what I could use:

What would you want to read about in a mentoring book about the seasons of a woman’s life?
What would encourage you to be a mentor or mentee?
If you’ve been in a mentoring relationship—either as a mentor or mentee or both—would you tell me your story? Even if it didn’t go like you planned.

If you would like to share your story, please leave a comment and how to contact you. Or go to the contact page on this website and leave me a message with your email address and I’ll give you more details.

If you would like to share your story in my new book …
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Generation to Generation

My 9-year-old granddaughter Katelyn asked if she could have one of my books for Easter, which made my heart swell with joy. I decided she was not too young for us to do a Bible study together, so I gave her Face-to-Face with Mary and Martha: Sisters in Christ.

An important aspect of remembering God, is helping the next generation know God.
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An important aspect of remembering God, is helping the next generation know God. It’s our job description as Christian men and women!

Together we can reach, encourage, and teach what we’ve been taught to the next generation.

 Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.

Titus 2:1-6. The Message

 

Seek Community During Infertility

Yesterday was Easter, the hope that every Christian has of eternity because our Savior died on a cross and arose three days later. That’s the only true and meaningful purpose of Easter. Many families gather together to celebrate Easter and fun traditions for the kids are Easter baskets, Easter egg hunts, and the little ones all dressed up in their Easter outfits. And that is why Easter can be a heartache for a mommy-in-waiting who has dreamed of having a little one to do all those fun things with at Easter. Her life can seem hopeless, even in light of the hope of the Cross. A day that should fill her with joy, only reminds her more of her empty arms. It’s for that reason that some couples struggling with infertility avoid family gatherings at holidays. My daughter and step-daughter know about this personally as they shared in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?

Today’s guest post is written by Lisa Newton, author of 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility :

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”- Galatians 6:2

When you’re struggling with infertility, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to connect with other women who are also dealing with it.

When you’re struggling with infertility, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to…
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Oh, it can feel like a big risk to befriend someone else in similar circumstances as you. You may start to worry about what you’ll do if her treatments work and yours don’t. Or how do you tell her when you get pregnant and she’s still not? You might think that dealing with your own pain and your own suffering is hard enough. Why would you want to open yourself up to someone else’s pain, too?

But Galatians 6:2 directs us to share each others burdens. It doesn’t make sense from our earthly perspective, but when we connect with others who are struggling our own burdens are eased in the process.

When we connect with others who are struggling our own burdens are eased in the process.
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When I first received my infertility diagnosis, I kept it to myself. I didn’t share it with friends or family because I thought I needed privacy. I’m an introvert, so I often quote the verses that describe Jesus withdrawing to solitude in order to pray (Luke 5:16). But I came to realize God’s presence is near when we are in community (Matt. 18:20). His comfort, encouragement, and wisdom often comes to me through conversations I have with other infertility survivors.

If I want to be more Christlike, I must seek out community.
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And the fact is that Jesus’ entire public ministry happened with eleven other men—his community! So if I want to be more Christlike, I must seek out community. Now I can’t image walking this journey without the prayers, love, and support I receive from my infertility community.

The fact that you’re reading this post means that you’re open to the idea of hearing about other’s experiences with infertility. Let me encourage you to take it a step further and reach out. You don’t have to start your own blog and publish every detail of your experience. Just take a small step and share a part of your story with someone.

I’d love to connect with you over at my blog. There’s also a wonderful online infertility community on Twitter. If you’d prefer an in-person connection, check out the RESOLVE website to see if there’s an infertility group in your local area. Or, if you know of someone who’s currently suffering from infertility or has suffered from it in the past, ask them if they’d be willing to go out for coffee and talk a bit.

Be brave. Bear someone’s burdens. Have your own burdens eased in the process.

Be brave. Bear someone’s burdens. Have your own burdens eased in the process.
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Have you experienced your burdens being eased by community? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.  

 

Lisa Newton blogs about her infertility journey and the faith that gets her though it at AmateurNester.com. She lives with her husband, Tom, their orange cat, Hemingway, on the Central Coast of California. She’s the author of the 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility eBook and was a 2014 nominee for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Hope Aware for Best Blog. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  

Love Your Body ~ Drink Tea for Your Health

 

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Our guest blogger for Love Your Body Monday is Penelope Carlevato. Penelope is my expert “tea friend,” and I asked her if she would write a post for us on the health benefits of drinking tea. Many of you know that I’m a coffee drinker, but I do enjoy a good cup of tea in the afternoon or I drink Organic Traditional Medicinals teas when I am sick. In fact, I’m having a cup of Organic Chai Black Tea right now as I post this. So pour yourself a cup of tea…or coffee…and enjoy! Oh and leave a comment below for a chance to win a copy of Penelope’s book Tea on the Titanic.

Tea provides you with a warm, calm feeling when sitting down in your favorite wicker chair on the porch, but it also helps combat and prevent many common health issues. As with most nurses, I tend to let Western Medicine be my “go-to” for health related issues. I have to admit that I am a black tea girl and don’t drink many tisanes or infusions, unless I have a cold or the flu. Even then, I would rather have a cup of Earl Grey than some flowery cup of “tea.” But, as the former owner of a retail tea business for many years, I began to hear testimonies of the health benefits of the herbal teas. After I did some research and testing of my own, I had to agree with the results of including herbal teas into my diet.

Herbal Teas for Your Health

Herbal Teas

While doing research for my last two books on the Edwardian era, I realized that women of that time did not have a bottle of Ibuprofen or Tylenol in their bathrooms to take for a headache or sore muscles. Instead they relied on herbs and tonics. Many still used old remedies made from herbs and spices that were passed down from generation to generation in the form of a hot drink. Plus their afternoon tea-time included the beverage of tea into the daily diets, of both the wealthy and poor.

For years, tea and herbs were the main source of helping sooth that upset tummy or a sore throat. In today’s world of chemical wonders, tea still has a prominent place in providing relief. The leaves that revitalize and restore health are from the Camellia Senesis bush, a member of the evergreen family that thrives best in fertile hilly regions. Tea is very economical, yielding 300 cups of tea per pound, and is second to water as the most consumed beverage in the world. It is one of the few drinks that has no sodium, no fat, no carbohydrates, no sugar, and no calories, unless you add sugar or other additives. Tea includes four varieties: green, black, white, and oolong. Taking tea hot or cold does not change the chemical content or benefits of tea.

Scientific research acclaims that tea has incredible health benefits.
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Scientific research acclaims that tea has incredible health benefits. Tea is rich with natural flavonoids and polyphenols that contain catechins. These catechins help in the prevention of oxidative stress, modify carcinogen metabolism, and can prevent damage to our DNA molecules. The catechins in tea can have a preventative effect on cancer, heart disease, cholesterol, clogged arteries, strokes, autoimmune diseases, and cognitive issues.

The most potent of the flavonoids is ECGC, which appears to fight against free radicals that can contribute to many chronic diseases. Last year, The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, published 11 new studies that highlight the many benefits of tea. For several years, UCLA Center for Human Nutrition has been studying the benefits of tea and Alzheimers, and recently found that those who drank 3 or more cups per day could prevent the onset of heart problems. Harvard Medical School reports that the catechins in tea are responsible for many health benefits and helps to improve cognitive functioning and attention. From what I gather, drinking tea is a good idea.

What’s “Real” Tea?

“Real” tea must contain leaves from the Camellia Senesis plant in order to be called “tea.”
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“Real” tea must contain leaves from the Camellia Senesis plant in order to be called “tea.” Herbal “teas” are products of fruits, flowers, leaves, bark, seeds, or roots from plants other than the tea plant. These drinks are tisanes or infusions, and are usually caffeine free. A tisane is simply a cup of “tea” made from something else other than a tea leaf. All tea from the Camellia Senesis bush, including green tea, has caffeine. Contrary to popular belief, tea does not have more caffeine than coffee. A cup of tea will contain about 50 mg of caffeine, while the same size cup of coffee will have almost 200 mg of caffeine. Tea is also a natural source of fluoride and will protect teeth from dental cavities. Both teas and tisanes (or infusions) have many healthy benefits, plus being a tasty beverage to drink.

Tea consumption can positively affect mood and may improve creative problem solving. (The Tea…
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Let’s Meet for Tea

God has used tea as a tool in my life.
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God has used tea as a tool in my life. I am blessed to introduce many women to the art of afternoon tea and for some, the actual beverage of tea. Tea time continues to amaze me. What is there about a cup of tea that will charm a woman’s heart? Is it the lovely ambiance that usually occurs over a cup of tea, or is it such a different mind-set than the frantic world in which we live? I know it is a wonderful setting for creating friendships. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 expresses the essence of being a friend. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his (her) friend can help him (her) up. But pity the man (woman) who falls and has no one to help him (her) up.” Tea has benefits far beyond our physical health.

What Kind of Tea Should You Drink?

Black tea, green tea, or one of the tea infusions. All good choices, but remember, only the leaves from the Camellia Senesis plant count as tea, and will have the benefits of the flavonoids. Caffeine-free infusions, (herbal teas) also give healing benefits in a wide variety of ways. Many of the herbal infusions contain minerals and vitamin complexes that are good for our health. Some can be used cool as topical astringents. Just because herbs are natural, check that your medications won’t interact in a negative way with the herbal tea you choose.

Peppermint is easy to grow and can help clear a stuffy nose, constipation, or upset stomach.
Rooibos is a naturally sweet tea made from a South African Red Bush. It is rich in vitamins and minerals and can help with tension and headaches.
Ginger tea helps with motion sickness and is especially beneficial after surgery and for headaches.
Chamomile has a calming and anti-inflammatory effect and is helpful for those with insomnia.
Rosehips are the fruits from the rose plant and a great source of Vitamin C.
Lavender teas can help with depression and help decrease fevers.
Lemon balm is said to help with brain function and also relieves cold sores.
Hibiscus flower helps lower blood pressure, and because it is rich in Vitamin C helps strengthen the immune system.
Yerba Mate is full of antioxidants and vitamins and is said useful in weight loss.
Pu-erh is a tea category all its own, but boasts of being able to relax stomach muscles and relieve bloating.

It’s a known fact that drinking water is good for your health, and since tea is 99% water, add…
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Herbal infusions should be made with water that has just come to a boil. If the water is too hot it will destroy some of the precious and essential oils that account for their health benefits. Always read the labels and avoid those infusions with artificial flavorings. A new finding for brewing infusions is letting them steep for longer periods of time than you would a tea.

Tea Beauty Tips

Tea and herbal infusions can also provide inexpensive beauty aids
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Tea and herbal infusions can also provide inexpensive beauty aids. Here are some quick remedies for everyday uses for tea bags:

Reduce dark circles and puffy eyelids – Place used bags of tea on your eyelids.
Relieve the sting in sunburns – Cold compresses of tea bags help to relieve the redness and pain.
Smelly feet – place tea bags inside your shoes. Soak your feet in a solution of cooled tea as it helps stop the spread of bacteria and fungus.
Condition dry hair – make a quart of warm tea as a final rinse after shampooing.
Soothe and dry a rash – dip a cotton ball into strong brewed tea and dab on the affected area. Repeat as necessary.
Antique new items – soak garments in a tea bath to create an “antique” look for tablecloths, or other linens and lace. Steep in strong tea solution for 20 minutes.
Rose bushes – put used tea leaves around your rose bushes to give nutrients to the roo

Making the Perfect Cup of Tea:

Always start with fresh cold water in your tea kettle.
Warm your teapot by swirling a small amount of boiling water in it or fill teapot with hot tap water and pour out just before the water in the tea kettle comes to a boil.
Measure your tea and place into the teapot or into an infuser basket. If using teabags, place then into the teapot.
Pour the freshly boiled water over the tea leaves or teabags. If using green tea or a tisane, use the water just as it comes to a boil.
Leave the tea leaves to steep for 3 to 5 minutes. Remove the leaves from the pot as an extended time can make the tea bitter.
Pour tea into a cup and enjoy.

While the benefits of drinking tea not only add nutrients and healing properties, just the fact of taking the time to sit down and enjoy tea time adds to our well being. Tea is not just a leaf on a tree, it can be the gift of eternal life if we share Jesus one teacup at a time

Tea is not just a leaf on a tree, it can be the gift of eternal life if we share Jesus one teacup…
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Proverbs 4:22 “For His Words are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.”

Penelope Carlevato

 

Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of Tea on the Titanic.

About Penelope Carlevato

Born in England, Penelope was raised in an English home on the plains of South Dakota. Her mother, a British war bride, loved to have friends and family in for tea. Penelope grew up with an apron tied around her waist and has continued the tradition of hospitality learned at her mother’s feet. She and her husband, Norm, reside in Colorado and are the proud parents of 3 and the grandparents of 11. Whenever the grandchildren are around, there will always be a tea party!

Penelope has been involved in Women’s Ministries in her local church, a Bible Study leader, mentoring, and is an international speaker. She is the founder of Penelope’s Tea Time, a retail tea business, which she operated for 20 years. She has taught classes on “The Art of Afternoon Tea” and co-hosted a cooking show called “Cooking up Wonders,” and currently writes a column for the magazine “Leading Hearts.” Her love of England and tea was the stimulus for her “Taste of Britain Tea Tours.” Her books, Tea on the Titanic, and First Class Etiquette are available on Amazon or her website. Please sign up for her blog, Tea Musing from Penelope.

 

 

When You’re Mom #2

As many of you know, Dave and I are a blended family. Our children were all in their teens when we married and I thought it would be smooth sailing, but we definitely had many challenges. With Christ at the center of our marriage, and agreeing that divorce would NEVER be an option, praise God we made it through and our sweet kids are all brothers and sisters in Christ and in family.

But during the difficult years, I longed for someone to mentor me from the perspective of “been there done that, made it through with Christ and you will too” and I’ll pray for you and help you. But I never found that mentor. I bought the few Christian books there were for step families and Dave and I joined a support group at church. I would have gone to a retreat in a heartbeat. I know Laura Petherbridge personally as a friend and fellow author and speaker, and if you’re a stepmom you will enjoy her book and this retreat. If you know stepmoms or have a support group at your church, please share this blog post.

Laura is giving away a copy of her book, 101 Tips for the Smart Stepmom so leave a comment to enter the drawing and check the box to receive follow up emails to this post so we can let you know if you won, or check back on Friday. We’ve given away a book a week all month. I love it.

Helping Hurting Women
By Laura Petherbridge

“Please remove my name from your mailing list,” the woman’s email requested. “I am no longer a stepmom.”

My heart sank as I finished her note. Divorce. Again. She became one of the census statistics which reports that 60-73% of stepfamilies fail.

I cried out to God, “Lord, one more marriage gone. One more home fractured. One more child believing, ‘marriage doesn’t work’ because he/she has now witnessed two demolished families.”

“Lord, help me to reach stepmoms before it’s too late. Please, show me how to provide help, healing and hope. They need a spa for their weary soul, they need a—RETREAT!!”

Last year when I had the idea to conduct a stepmom retreat, I assumed it would be a one-time event. I asked a few stepmom sisters who offered a similar stepmom outreach to join me. And that one step, that one decision, has rocked my world.

We Can’t Stop Now

Since I’ve written two books for Stepmoms I’ve gotten used to them emailing me for help, but now at the retreat they were in my arms. Their tears, pending divorces, and the voices of their hurting children, were looking me in the eyes. And their begging pleas, “I’m afraid I might not make it. I feel like a failure. Show me how to survive life in a stepfamily,” could not be silenced in my head.

“What are we going to do now?” was the question each teammate asked as we ate lunch together after the retreat.

“We can’t stop now,” one team member shared. “We must do more of these events, more stepmoms need our help.”

And so with no money, no sponsor, no guidebook to follow, and no website established, we launched a ministry, Sisterhood of Stepmoms.

Within two weeks of establishing a Facebook page we had 700 likes, and now one year later, it’s over 2400. Stepmoms from everywhere began sharing how grateful they were to receive help and a place to find healing.

The Church Typically Doesn’t Understand

The church rarely has a ministry that meets the needs of stepmoms.
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The church rarely has a ministry that meets the needs of stepmoms.

“I went to a mom’s conference, and a women’s retreat geared for families, but none of the issues they addressed applied to my situation,” stepmom Lisa shared.

“I need to know how to parent alongside my stepson’s mother. She lives very differently than we do, with completely diffident view of what is right and wrong. Plus I can’t figure out how to handle my husband’s inability to discipline his kids. Even though his ex-wife is the one who left the marriage for another man, he is plagued by guilt because his kids are from a divorced home.”

A ministry specifically designed for stepfamilies, which can address their unique issues is a huge…
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This is why a ministry specifically designed for stepfamilies, which can address their unique issues is a huge need. Many statistics show that there are more stepfamilies in the USA today than there are first time families. They avoid the church because there isn’t a place for them.

God Has Other Plans

Before this stepmom mentoring occurred, I kept asking God for a “nice, clean” women’s ministry. You know something with pink ribbons and flowing butterflies. I was seeking a ministry that the annual church women’s luncheon would eagerly embrace for their keynote.

Wrong.

God had other plans, and I’m so glad. Whether it’s; the childhood shame and trauma associated with my parent’s divorce, the devastation when my husband walked out of our marriage, or the stress of being a stepmom, the wounds of my past provide me with the insight to mentor, encourage, or instruct others. When given to Jesus, my scars serve a higher calling. The destruction is transformed into a restoration for another.

I’m thrilled to be on this journey. Here’s another email that explains why. It reads differently than the previous.

“Dear Laura, Thank you for your ministry to stepmoms. I want you to know it saved my marriage. I was on the verge of divorce; I couldn’t take stepfamily living anymore. And you taught me that with God’s help I can learn how to live above the circumstances. You offered practical, no-nonsense, real life information which changed my attitude and perspective. You gave me tools and hope. My husband immediately noticed, and now I think we will make it.”

It doesn’t get any better than that.

The next retreat, geared for ANY women who is a single parent or dating, engaged or married to a…
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The next retreat, geared for ANY women who is a single parent or dating, engaged or married to a man with kids (young or old), is April 17-19th, at the gorgeous Sandy Cove Retreat Center.

What Can YOU Do?

Won’t YOU be the one to reach out to a stepmom, and show her where to find help, healing and hope?

Leave a comment to enter drawing for a free book. Be sure to check the box to receive follow up comments to this post or check back on Friday to see if you won!

Copyright © 2014 Laura Petherbridge. All rights reserved

 

Laura Petherbridge is an international author and speaker who serves couples and single adults with topics on relationships, step-parenting, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is the author of 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom—Expert Advice from One Stepmom to Another and When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, and a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series. Her book The Smart Stepmom, is co-authored with stepfamily expert Ron Deal. Her website is www.TheSmartStepmom.com

 

What to Do When Your Child is Sad

Joanne Kraft, a fellow The M.O.M Initiative mentor mom, has a new book out The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids . I asked her to share with you a snippet from her book. No matter how old your child is, it’s hard to see him or her sad or unhappy. The mom in you wants to fix everything and make them happy again. But as Joanne reminds us, sometimes you just need to let them cry.

Joanne uses an example from Mary and Martha that I also share in my Bible study, Face-to-Face with Mary and Martha: Sisters in Christ. Jesus cried right along with them when their brother Lazarus died, but God had a bigger plan then they could see at the immediate moment. Teaching our children how to deal with disappointments and discouragement might just be God’s plan for us stepping out of the way and letting them cry.

Leave a comment below for a chance to win a copy of The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids. Be sure to check the box “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” so you’ll know if you won the book.

Let Them Cry
By Joanne Kraft

 

My teenage son walked down the stairs with a frown on his face. College classes have gotten the best of him it seems. My pep talk with him yesterday apparently wasn’t as good as I thought it was. My future as a motivational speaker went down in a fizzle.

When I brought my first child home from the hospital, cries were immediately met with a soothing rub and my full attention until the whimpers quieted. From baby tears to teenage sulking, I want to make my child happy. I’ve exhausted myself trying to make this happen. I’ve finally realized I can’t make any of my kids happy.

You may be doing something wrong—when you’re exhausting yourself doing it.
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Here’s the clue you may be doing something wrong—when you’re exhausting yourself doing it.

Years ago, when my mom watched me try to stop my kids from shedding tears she gave me my first golden bit of wisdom, “Let them cry. It’s okay. They will be fine.”

When Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus that their brother Lazarus had died, Jesus didn’t come that very day but waited two more days before heading back to them in Judea. When he arrived, he discovered the funeral had already taken place. Lazarus had been dead four days and two very heartbroken sisters who had been crying for days were in deep mourning.

Not only were Mary and Martha in tears, but it’s in this passage of Scripture where we find the shortest sentence in the Bible—Jesus wept. Two words packed with incredible meaning. Even our Savior shed tears. Even He felt sad.

Here’s a few things I learned to do when my toddlers or teenagers were hurt or sad.

Let them hurt. Is there anything more contrary to mothering than allowing a child to cry or hurt? But, it’s much needed for their development. Come alongside and give them a hug or sympathize, “Yes, I know you’re sad.” Or, “It’s okay to be sad. Sometimes mommy is sad, too.” And if a child is older, maybe you can empathize, “I understand how hard this is for you.” Or, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Follow up with a personal story of your own about a past hurt or grievance.
Let them heal. Give them a little time. Don’t let their hurt sabotage your life. Give them space but look for signs of healing: interest in friends, playing again, laughter, an appetite, and conversation.
Let them lean. When a child is young, they lean on mom and dad for everything. As they grow older we need to let go so they can lean on God. I can’t expect my adult child to have BIG faith if they have little experience in leaning on a BIG GOD. If I answer their every whim and whimper, I become God in their eyes. Do you want to grow their faith? Let them lean on the only ONE who can meet and exceed their expectations. (Psalm 62:5)

Mom you’re not a magic fairy spreading joyful pixie-dust over your child’s every hurt
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I have to remind myself, my daughters and sons must feel pain while in my keep. God grows us through pain. How else will they know how to navigate life’s storms as adults? So, precious mamas, let your child cry today. Let them hurt and let them heal and make sure to let them lean on God. Scripture reminds us there’s “A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) Maybe, today it’s time to let them cry. I promise they’ll be okay.

I have to remind myself, my daughters and sons must feel pain while in my keep.
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“A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4)

Joanne Kraft is a mom of four and the author of Just Too Busy—Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical and her latest book The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids. She’s been a guest on Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, and her articles have appeared in ParentLife, In Touch, P31 Woman and more. Joanne and her husband, Paul, recently moved their family from California to Tennessee and happily traded soy milk and arugula for sweet tea and biscuits. Visit her at JoanneKraft.com.

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What Does the Moon Have to Do With Easter?

With Easter fast approaching, I knew you would all find this guest post by Linda Rooks fascinating. I know I did! You’ll want a copy of her new book The Bunny Side of Easter for all the kids in your family. Leave a comment below to enter a drawing for a copy!

 

Connecting the Easter Bunny to the True Meaning of Easter
By Linda Rooks

Easter comes on April 5 this year. So in about a month it will once again be time for Easter baskets, colored eggs, and the celebration of the resurrection.

I imagine several of you are even now checking to make sure you’ve got it down on your calendars. Chances are that like me, you may have trouble keeping up with the date for Easter each year. Last year, Easter came late at the end of April, and the year before, Easter came at the end of March. Ever wonder why the discrepancy? Why the date changes from year to year?

The Significance of the Moon

The date for Easter differs each year because it’s determined by the moon. Easter always comes on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the advent of spring. When I first discovered this, I became fascinated with how this came to be and why the lunar calendar plays such a significant part.

God uses His creation to speak to us in many ways.
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The way that God’s creation meshes with our daily life is always a thing of wonder to me. God uses His creation to speak to us in many ways. He used the star to guide the magi to the manger where Jesus was born. He uses the rainbow as a promise that he would never again destroy us. He uses the seasons as well as seeds that sprout into living things to teach us about life, death, and resurrection. Jesus even said that if the people did not turn out with their Hallelujahs to praise him on Palm Sunday that the rocks would have cried out in praise instead.

So when I discovered that not only did the moon determine the date for Easter, but ancient storytellers in the East had seen a rabbit in the moon, I became even more fascinated. Could all this connect with the Easter bunny somehow?

A Story of Faith, Compassion, and Courage

I never did find an answer to that question, but when I decided to write an Easter book for children, the moon became part of the story, and, of course, the rabbit in the moon had to play a part as well. For what I further discovered is that in the shadowy patches of the full moon, I could actually see the image of a rabbit. His body is on the left side of the moon and his ears are at the top. I even borrowed a little from the ancient storytellers to tell the story. But the moon is only a small part of the story . . .because the thrust of this little adventure focuses on a story of faith, compassion, and courage that turned an ordinary rabbit into a hero and taught an angel about God’s omnipresent love and the power of prayer.

The heroic bunny became the Easter bunny and as a result he got to go to the moon and become the rabbit on the moon.

Fun, huh?

           

In the shadowy patches of the full moon, I could actually see the image of a rabbit
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The story begins on Easter eve when three animals—a mischievous rabbit, a plucky duck and a playful monkey become lost and must face a fearsome tiger. A little angel is kind to them, but her doubts about God’s omnipresence put her in danger when a fearsome tiger emerges on the scene. The question then becomes: can the three animals save themselves and the little angel who was kind to them? Will the angel discover the truth about her power? The bunny comes to the rescue to save her even though it may mean sacrificing his own life to do so. His act of heroism makes him the Easter bunny. The Bunny Side of Easter is a tale of fears faced, friendships gained, and faith discovered.

On Easter you may feel a disconnect between the Easter bunny and the real meaning of Easter.
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On Easter morning, when you watch your children scurry about the yard looking for Easter eggs, you may feel a disconnect between the legend of the Easter bunny and the real meaning of Easter. If so, The Bunny Side of Easter can fill the gap, taking children on an exciting and charming adventure with hints of allegory that point children to the true significance of Easter.

And when the next full moon appears, take your children out under the nighttime sky to look for the rabbit in the moon. Together, you can make a fun new discovery that will likely become a monthly ritual and a delight to all.

As author of The Bunny Side of Easter, Linda W. Rooks takes her life-long love of children’s books and uses it to tell a winsome, but exciting adventure that points children to the real meaning of Easter. Her first adult book, Broken Heart on Hold, was published in 2006 and continues to minister to women in broken marriages. Linda’s writing has appeared in a number of national publications, including Chicken Soup for the Beach Lover’s Soul, Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Woman and HomeLife. She has appeared as a guest many times on TV and radio talk shows across the North American continent.

Leave a comment to enter drawing for copy of The Bunny Side of Easter. It would make a great Easter gift!

Women Need Each Other

Today’s guest post is by my good friend and fellow The MOM Initiative mentor mom, Lori Wildenberg. Lori is talking about several of my favorite topics: women helping each other, friendships of women, Woman to Woman Mentoring, parenting, and the relationship between Mary and Elizabeth, which I wrote about in Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary: Generation to Generation. Lori is giving away a copy of one of her new books if you leave a comment on this post. I know you’re going to want to read them both and I endorsed Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love. Enjoy!

Women Need Each Other (Plus a Give-Away)
by Lori Wildenberg

 

My friend Kathy has greatly impacted me over the years. Kathy and I met in high school. She got married a few years before I did and had her first child about five years before I had mine. When I had parenting questions, her bigger perspective was so helpful. Yet she wasn’t so far ahead of me that she lacked empathy for my parenting concerns.

She would say to me, “Oh, just think of it. Three is still pretty little,” when I would lament over my child’s lack of potty-progress.

I have always been able to count on Kathy for sound advice.

She is generous with her wisdom. (I eat it up.)

She is a good listener. (I feel heard.)

She embraces confidentiality. (I feel safe.)

She speaks with honesty and love. ( I trust her.)

And I know she prays for me. (I am grateful.)

Gone are the days of neighborhood coffee parties and regular extended-family gatherings (at least for many of us). But women are still wired to need each other.

Women are wired to need each other.
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Mary, after learning she was pregnant with Jesus, went to see her older cousin Elizabeth. Mary needed support and wisdom. Elizabeth provided both.

At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear. But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” (Luke 1:39- 45).

We desire to learn from and to lean on one another.

We desire to learn from and to lean on one another.
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Recently I spoke to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. In my talk, I encouraged the women to be the mom God designed them to be.

Find a mentor. A peer with perspective. Or a seasoned sister.
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One of the ways this can be done is to find a mentor; maybe a peer with perspective like my friend Kathy or possibly a more seasoned mentor like Mary’s relative, Elizabeth. It’s a biblical concept to have or to be a Titus woman (Titus 2:3-4). I guess that is why mentoring never goes out of style!

Avoid having the mentoring time look more like a gripe session
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As a final thought, to avoid having the mentoring time look more like a gripe session, use a tool to steer your conversation. Of course my co-authored books, Raising Little Kids with Big Love or Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love are not the only resources out there. But I do believe they are good ones because each book has a companion study guide.

If you are a mom, I encourage you to find a Titus woman or to be one for someone else. It is a blessing for both.

Find a Titus woman or to be one for someone else.
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I still count on my friend, Kathy for her sage advice. She’s now a grandmom. I’m not there yet, but when I am, I know who I’m “gonna call.”

So… women, who can you support and encourage? Whom would you like to have support and encourage you?

Leave a Comment for a Chance to Win a Free Book

If you would like to be eligible to receive a free book either: Raising Little Kids with Big Love or Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love, please leave a comment below mentioning who your personal mentor is (or has been) and how you are better for the guidance she provides.

Lori Wildenberg loves to encourage and support parents in their quest to be the mom or dad they want to be. Lori is a licensed parent and family educator, co-author of three parenting books, speaker, and founder, with Becky Danielson, of 1Corinthians13Parenting ministry (A parent’s one stop shop for all his or her parenting needs). A perfect day in Lori’s world is a hike with her husband Tom, their four kids, and Murphy, the family labradoodle. For more information or to connect with Lori go to www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com www.loriwildenberg.com or visit the 1C13P Facebook page www.facebook.com/1Corinthians13Parenting

 

If this post was a blessing to you, head over to Amazon where you can find more great faith-based and easily applicable tips and information in our newly released books: Raising Little Kids with Big Love (Wildenberg & Danielson) and Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love (Wildenberg & Danielson).

 

 

Love Your Body with a Pure Mind

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

In our Love Your Body series the last Monday of the month, I’ve been focusing on ways to eat healthy and exercise regularly. But today I want to talk about a part of the body we haven’t discussed, our mind. Yes, our mind is a part of our body and our mind determines what we put into our body, as well as what we do with our body.

Our mind is a part of our body, and our mind determines what we put into our body as well as what…
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A Pure Mind is a Healthy Mind

We can’t have a healthy body, without having a healthy mind.
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We can’t have a healthy body, without having a healthy mind. That’s why Paul warned that when we become Christians: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

If you have a healthy pure mind, you’ll be able to test for yourself what God wants you eating, thinking, watching, reading, and doing. But…

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

If you will, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2), you’ll never have to worry about dealing with a sick or impure mind.

Satan Wants You to Have a Sick Mind

In the past few weeks, there’s been lots of discussion about the book and movie Fifty Shades of Grey–whether or not it’s OK for Christians to read the book and see the movie. Looking at the Scriptures above, it’s hard for me to imagine that this would even be a conversation. The answers are so clear in the Bible.

You can eat organic, omit sugar, limit your red meat, get your daily quota of fruits and veggies, drink lots of water, and exercise every day, but you will never have a healthy body if you feed your mind with trash and smut.

You will never have a healthy body if you feed your mind with trash and smut.
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Satan has worked hard at luring men into pornography and now he’s working on the women.
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Satan has worked hard at luring men into pornography and now he’s working on the women. Sadly, Satan is having as much success with women as he did with the men. Movies and books like Fifty Shades of Grey are what the world today is calling entertainment. Don’t be deceived by the world, and don’t give the devil a foothold in your mind.

Don’t be deceived by the world, and don’t give the devil a foothold in your mind.
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For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 1 John 2:16

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5

What’s A Christian to Do?

I know I’m probably singing to the choir here, so what’s a Christian woman to do who agrees with everything I’m saying? Well Titus 2 1-6 in the The Message spells out clearly our job as Christian women and men. We have to speak out and help our fellow sisters in Christ who are being lured into Satan’s trap:

Titus 2 1-6 in the The Message spells out clearly what our job is as Christian women and men.
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Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.

If you are addicted to other “mommy porn” type books, and you think no one will know what you’re reading on your Kindle or tablet,  just remember that God is with you always and He knows what’s going into your mind. It’s breaking God’s heart and Satan is laughing. Yes, Satan is laughing because he has you just where he wants you—he’s infiltrated your mind.

Confess your problem to someone and find a mentor to help you renew, refresh, and reboot your mind.

Satan is Working Hard and Fast

This is not the only movie and book out there that shouldn’t be polluting our minds, and I wrote about that in the blog post Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.

Which Mother and Wife Won’t See 50 Shades of Grey?

I’m sure you figured out that I won’t, but two other women who don’t want their mind filled with “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes” by seeing the film of the erotic novel are:

Actress Melanie Griffith, the mother of Dakota Johnson who plays the sexually brutalized young virgin in the movie. Mother Griffith said, “I would be very uncomfortable with it.”

Amelia Warner, the wife of Jamie Dornan who plays the sexually perverted lead actor, doesn’t want to watch her husband in the risqué sex scenes with another woman and won’t see the movie.

I totally understand why this mother and wife would not see this movie. What I don’t understand is why so many other mothers, wives, daughters, girlfriends, and future wives want to watch it as voyeurs. Can you?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

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Are You Parenting from Fear?

I had the privilege of endorsing the book Mothering from Scratch by Kathy Helgemo and Melinda Means, and I can assure you this is a book every mother wants to read. I met Kathy and Melinda at The MOM Initiative Better Together Conference in Jacksonville, FL last summer. Kathy took my workshop on Praying for Your Prodigal based on my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. In today’s guest blog, Kathy shares the feelings that stirred in her while listening to me speak.

Breaking Free From Parenting Out of Fear
by Kathy Helgemo

 

I heard Janet talk at the Better Together conference last July on the topic of Parenting Your Prodigal. Once she started talking about parenting out of fear, I found myself sitting up. Listening. Wondering. Do I do that?

“Oh, really Janet.” I thought. “You must be talking to someone other than me.”

I don’t consider myself a scared person. I actually don’t consider myself a particularly anxious person either. So, I found it interesting when God started laying on my heart that this was a problem of mine. I don’t have this problem, remember?

But this day He revealed to me that I truly did. And I better pay attention. Pronto.

Parenting from a place of fear has more to do with us than our kids. Yet, they suffer the consequences. Ouch.

Parenting from a place of fear has more to do with us than our kids.
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I don’t know about you, but I have trouble enjoying the good times on occasion. For years, I constantly worried about my kids repeating my mistakes. Not theirs — mine.

I have parented my children as if they were making the same mistakes I did — even when they weren’t making any at all. No wonder they felt like they were doing something wrong. Guilty. For nothing.

They weren’t doing anything in particular.

Sure I did it when I was their age.

But they didn’t.

And hopefully they won’t.

Here is some of the evidence that I found in myself about parenting with fear:

I made normal transitions into drama-filled experiences. Too much attention. Too much anxiety. It’s akin to keeping on the training wheels way too long because it’s easier than seeing scraped knees. It’s normal to stumble and fall.
I tried to control their relationships too much. I didn’t want them to get their feelings hurt or hang out with “the wrong kids”.  After all, that’s what happened to me. However, they need friends and connection. They also need to learn how to discern the difference between good and bad influences.
I completely exaggerated everyday dangers. Here are some examples: strangers, alcohol, mean people, strange places. Dirt! For Pete’s sake. Those problems are not going to leave the planet anytime soon. I had an “all or nothing” attitude regarding some of them and it got out of control.
I worried about their achievements as if they were my own. How is this fearful? It’s the fear of failure. If we have struggled with the fear of failure ourselves, it’s so easy to project it onto our kids. For example, perhaps we were never a straight A student. We struggled just to get by on B’s and C’s. Suddenly, our kid’s excelling in school. Obsessing over of their grades becomes our focus. It’s much easier than to work through our own feelings of failing as a student.
I tried to prevent any kind of pain. We are their mothers! Gosh, darn it! We don’t want to see them in any kind of suffering. Unfortunately, that would prevent an awful lot of learning too. We can love them through anything. Teaching moments only happen when we get out of the way. Now, that’s scary!

Remember…

Love is the opposite of fear. Willing our child’s good above our own can be hard.

Love is the opposite of fear.
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Staying in the place of fear, however, robs them of the security of knowing what real love is.

Parenting from fear robs children of security!
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Let’s focus on loving our kids, giving them the security that their good is truly the center of our motives and actions.

And there you have it….

When are you parenting out of fear?

 

How can you break free and parent more from love?

 

What’s one area you can turn over your fear to God letting Him take control?

 

Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of Mothering From Scratch.

 

If you are receiving this blog by email, click here to leave a comment.

 

Kathy Helgemo blogs over at Mothering From Scratch. She co-wrote the book Mothering From Scratch: Finding the Parenting Style That Works for You and Your Family with Melinda Means. Together they support and encourage moms to develop their own mothering recipe.

How to Have a Date with Jesus

Be My Valentine!

I know I don’t have to remind you that this Saturday is Valentine’s Day! A day we set aside for showing that special someone how much they mean to us. It can also be a difficult time for someone who doesn’t have an object of his or her affection to dote on or be the recipient of doting … but it doesn’t need to be a sad day for those who know Jesus as their First Love!

Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a sad day for those who know Jesus as their First Love!
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My First Prayer Garden

My husband was not first in my love life, Jesus was.
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 Almost twenty years ago, the revelation hit me that even though I was happily married after being single for 17 years, my husband was not first in my love life, Jesus was. And shouldn’t I approach my special time with Jesus each day with the same attitude I would lavish on my earthly love, Dave. So I set about finding a special place to spend with my First Love every day and I called it my prayer garden. At this time, we were living in sunny Southern California so I could have my quiet time outside almost every day. I’ll share with you in a moment how I’ve carried on this date with Jesus in my new home of Idaho. Here is the story that I wrote in 2001 of how I initially created the special “date” atmosphere in California.

I set about finding a special place to spend with my First Love every day
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Thinking of Jesus as the lover of my soul and the One I love above all others, gave me the idea of creating a romantic atmosphere for my daily “Quiet Time” with Jesus. It needed all the touches of a special date. First, it must be quiet and free of interruptions, so that meant outside. Since my backyard is all cement, I arranged colorful potted plants in a shaded alcove of the patio and hung a humming bird feeder. I placed a chair for Jesus and a chair for me with a small table in the center for a romantic fragrant candle. I later added wind chimes, and my son-in-law made a waterfall. Walla I had a Prayer Garden.

 

My Prayer Garden

My Date Bag with Jesus is always Packed

My Date Bag with Jesus is always packed
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Then I pack a ‘date bag’ with my Bible, a journal, devotional, highlighters, pens, Post-it notes, current Bible Study, and oh yes, a lighter for the candle. One trip back into the house for something I forgot could be a major distraction.

My “Date Bag” with Jesus

First thing every morning, I grab my cup of coffee, my date bag, a blanket or sweater if it is chilly, and head out for my date with Jesus in our Prayer Garden. Here is a major key to intimate time with my First Love—I shut the door to ALL interruptions. The answering machine gets the phone, and the family knows I am having my Jesus date when the Do Not Disturb sign is out.

When our date is finished, I repack my date bag and put it back in the same spot every time by the patio door so it is ready for tomorrow’s big date. If the weather is not good, Jesus and I curl up together on the couch, and I play soft instrumental worship music in the background.

To keep romance exciting, it’s good to vary the activities on dates
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To keep romance exciting, it’s good to vary the activities on dates, so I constantly add freshness to my Quiet Time with variety. Each Christmas, I pick out a new devotional for the coming year. I select one with an area for journaling love letters to the Lord. I start my Quiet Time date by praying the armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-18 and would never think of going into my day without this spiritual protection. I alternate working on my small group Bible studies or one I am doing for fun. Some years I read completely through the Bible, and other times, I leisurely enjoy the Scriptures.

I sit back close my eyes and linger in conversational prayer, letting my First Love talk to me.
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At the end of our date, I sit back close my eyes and linger in conversational prayer, letting my First Love talk to me. He always whispers words of love and endearment as He reveals His plans, visions, and goals for us. Often, there are answers to prayers and questions, and many times, we just share a sweet silence. Like any wonderful date, I hate for it to end, but I know my First Love will be waiting eagerly for our special date tomorrow.

Idaho Quiet Times

Now that we live in Idaho with its four seasons, my Quiet Time locations change with the season: when the weather is nice, I’m out on the deck and when it’s snowing or cold I have a quiet time area right outside my office with a beautiful view out the window. I still have my Quiet Time bag packed and ready to go depending on where I’m having my date with Jesus. It’s my most favorite part of the day!

View from deck quiet times.

Indoors Quiet Time

 

 

Indoor Quiet Time View

Tell me about your dates with Jesus.
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How about you? Tell me about your dates with Jesus. Leave a comment below, or if you receive my blogs by email click and leave a comment.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here is a poem I wrote about my California Prayer Garden. Enjoy!

OUR PRAYER GARDEN

You wanted to meet me early in the morning

          In a place that was special to just you and me.

My heart was willing, and I had such a yearning

          To talk and be in your presence daily.

I began to arise just after the sun came up,

          And searched for a place where we could meet.

It had to be quiet where no one would interrupt,

          For the time that we shared would be so sweet.

 

I moved from room to room,

          As I tried to find the aura,

For you and me to just commune

          Every day at the same hour.

 

As we began to spend our time,

          I felt you nudging as I would pray:

“Our get-togethers need fresh air and sunshine.

          Let’s be amongst the beauty of the day.”

 

Of course, it was there all along.

          The table, the patio, the view–

I had all the makings for a Prayer Garden,

          But flowers were sadly very few.

 

A “green thumb” I have never been,

          But I knew this was the spot for us.

And it would not be a Prayer Garden,

          Without the ferns, oleanders and hibiscus.

 

A shopping trip to the nursery was fun,

          Even though I didn’t know what to buy.

Some flowers wanted shade and others liked sun,

          So I just bought what caught my eye.

 

Soon my garden was worthy of comment.

          The flower beds were colorful and in full blossom,

And the array of potted plants carpeted the cement.

          The transformation was truly awesome.

 

One final touch called out to me,

          Wind chimes to catch Your breath in the breeze.

A hummingbird feeder for quiet company,

          In the place where we will meet when ‘er You please.

Jesus, I know now why you sought a garden

          When you went to pray alone that night.

Amongst Your creation God’s presence is sovereign,              

          You just know God’s plans will turn out right .

Janet Thompson 7/17/96