Caleigh O'Shea's Blog, page 24

Wolf in Sheep’s Skin

Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. ~ Joyce Brothers, American psychologist

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Waiting for the other shoe to drop perhaps?

You

pretend

to be so

solicitous.

Offering umpteen

suggestions and gimmicks

designed to show me that you

aren’t the Mean Girl I fear you are,

that you have my best interests at heart

and there’s no way you’d ever bring me harm.

 

Why, then, do I lie awake pondering?

Why, then, are my dreams tormenting me?

Why do I wake up shivering,

my heart pounding, out of breath?

Wait, now I remember —

I’ve been here before.

Intuition

is at hand,

warning

me.

Note: This is a Double Etheree.

Ten Things I’ve Learned Since My Third Decade

I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday. ~Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. President

By the time a person is thirty, he or she should have learned a few life lessons.

Some, we gain the hard way, by experiencing the consequences of not living as we should. Others, we glean from the folly of friends or family.

Here are ten lessons I wish my thirty-year-old self had embraced:

1) We’re more alike than we are different.

Why do we spend so much time with people who are just like us, when those who are different have so much to teach us? Since God could have made us all the same (robots, I guess), and didn’t, there must have been a good reason. Perhaps so we could develop tolerance, respect, and understanding?

2) It’s not all about you.

Some parents dote on their kids. Too much doting can turn a child into a spoiled, self-centered individual who’s convinced the sun revolves around him. And when he learns it doesn’t, it’s a rude awakening. Probably better to learn that lesson early, rather than later.

3) Nobody on his death bed ever said, “Gee, I wish I’d spent more time at work.”

Work is good. Admirable, even. And necessary, both for our livelihood and self-esteem. But knowing when to break off for the day and turn our attention to family and relaxation is crucial.

4) Life is too short for petty arguments.

Okay, tell me this. Was it worth all the hard feelings and angst for you to give somebody you love a piece of your mind? Sure, nobody wants to be a doormat, but sometimes, in the higher goal of peace, you need to let some things slide. As the nuns told us, “Offer it up.”

5) Travel light, preferably with a buddy (maybe one with fur).

We don’t really need all the things we claim we do. How many shoes can you wear in one season? Does the thought of having to pack up all your stuff for a move make you break out in hives? Then probably, you’ve got too much stuff. And since there are lots of folks who don’t have stuff, you could donate some of it to charity. Except the dog or cat, of course. They’re family!

6) Unless it’s your last meal, you really don’t have to gorge.

We’re all on diets. We eat way more than we should. And some of our food is loaded with hormones, making it easy for us to pack on the pounds. Doctors tell us obesity is one cause of many diseases. So try to back away from the table before you’re full.

7) Learn something new every day.

Our education doesn’t stop when we graduate. Read a book. Take a class. Watch an instructional video. Talk to somebody who knows something you don’t. Learn a hobby. Stay open to knowledge wherever you can find it.

8) Get up and get moving. Your body wasn’t designed to sit all day.

My dad used to say, “Use it, or lose it.” No, you don’t have to run a marathon (unless that’s your thing), but you should exert yourself physically for at least a half-hour every day. Walking, swimming, playing golf, gardening, yoga, whatever. Just start moving and see how much better you feel … and how much better you sleep at night.

9) Don’t invest everything in things. Acquire a system of beliefs.

Money and possessions don’t fulfill us. Jobs evaporate, houses and furniture go up in smoke, cars get totaled. Humans crave something more. A sense of awe, of the divine — whether that be religion or communing in nature — can satisfy our souls.

10) Give back when you can.

Teach a class. Donate to the needy. Volunteer to plant flowers or deliver meals to shut-ins. Sing in your community choir. Give blood. Read to little kids. You get the idea. And not just during the holidays either!

There, I’ll stop. I expect all of you could write a similar list, so why don’t you?? Let’s make today a day when we can all feel good by helping others.

Time for a Change?

Life is change. ~Heraclitus of Ephesus, Greek philosopher

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Just a random photo of my Roma tomato plant because I’m blown away at the size of the fruit this year!

I’m back!!

My son Domer was home last week (the first time we’ve gotten together since Christmas!)

He took care of some business he’d intended to tackle back in March before COVID-19 struck — service on his car, dental checkup, taxes — and even some work for his job.

All in all, a productive week — except for one tiny thing.

I’d hoped to get him to take a new profile picture of me for online, but that didn’t pan out.

It wasn’t because I refused to face the world with corona hair. Illinois finally reopened salons, and I was freshly coifed with a much-needed cut and highlight.

Nor was it because we ran out of time.

It was because Domer isn’t ready to bury Dallas.

‘Everybody knows you because of him,’ he told me. ‘You can’t act like he didn’t exist.’

‘Of course not, but that photo is ages old, and I think it’s time for an update,’ I told him.

‘No, I think it’s just fine.’

So that was that.

I’ve had nearly four months to acclimate to Dallas’s absence, but this was Domer’s first time home without Dallas being here.

And it wasn’t easy.

The little boy who was terrified of dogs has matured into one who loves them (because of Dallas).

And every chance he gets, Domer sends me photos and videos of adorable puppies — mostly the kind that grow up to be small ponies.

Cute, but far too big for me.

The struggle of helping a senior pup navigate up and down stairs is still fresh in my mind (and Dallas wasn’t big).

One day, I expect to succumb to the call of another pup.

And when I do, maybe Domer will agree to take a photo of us.

Maybe, but I’m not holding my breath!

Time for a Break

If you’re always racing to the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in? ~Author Unknown

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Stella D’Oro Daylillies

Even nature takes a little break.

She pauses between each season

To catch her breath, so to speak.

Within a season too,

Flowers bloom and rest.

All of us need

Some time off.

Don’t you

Think?

 

Note: As you probably guessed, it’s time for me to take a wee pause. Happy Fathers’ Day to all the dads reading this, and I’ll be back shortly. By the way, this poetry form is a Nonet, nine lines with a decreasing number of syllables in each line.

Bring Back the Music

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain, American writer

I think one of the worst things about this pandemic is its silence.

I’m not talking about its dearth of words. They’re everywhere, as people turn to writing and communicating their feelings and impressions like never before.

What I’m talking about is its quiet.

Concerts, theater, movies, dramas — all cancelled. Or at least postponed.

No singing in church. No little theater. No senior recitals. No summer band….

Wait, there’s a chance we might have that at least!

On an abbreviated scale, of course, and way different from usual.

These are unusual times, you know.

But the tourism department (under whose umbrella our community band plays) is working feverishly to salvage at least some of our season.

Because they know how much the public needs to hear our songs.

Especially now, when everybody could use a little cheering up.

What we’re looking at is a “sanitized” version of band, to protect us as musicians and the public as audience.

We’ll have to change venue, moving practices and concerts to outdoors.

We’ll have to wear masks to set up and take down music stands and chairs.

We’ll have to place one musician per stand and folder, and set up in such a way that there’ll be lots of distance among us.

And the audience will need to sit in (or beside) their cars — like those old drive-in movies that once were so popular.

I’ve seen clips of people across the world playing mini-concerts on their instrument-of-choice from their front porch or balcony for their neighbors.

I’ve seen online choirs perform concerts where each member recorded from home their part, and somebody talented put the clips together for everyone’s enjoyment.

I think it proves that music is important. That some of us have to sing, dance, play an instrument.

Not just for ourselves, but for others.

Music is a language all its own, and not even a pandemic can silence it!

The Search Begins

I talk to him when I’m lonesome like;

and I’m sure he understands.

When he looks at me so attentively,

and gently licks my hands;

then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes,

but I never say naught thereat.

For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes,

but never a friend like that. ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

For the first time in 13 years, I’m dog-less, and that’s a lonely feeling.

No Sheltie fur lurking in corners on the floor. No Sheltie butt covering my surge protector and accidentally shutting off my computer when the battery drains. No Sheltie face watching me eagerly, hoping for an adventure or a sneak treat. No scheduled doggie activities, whether feeding time or outside time or bedtime.

I’ve almost reached the limit of my tears. Time really is a wonderful healer, teaching me to remember the good years Dallas and I shared, rather than despair over his recent death.

And so I’ve gradually been thinking about another dog.

Not to take Dallas’s place, for that’s impossible, but to continue the love in the form of a new pup to care for.

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Dallas at 6 1/2 weeks, before I even brought him home

To my surprise, the dog-world has changed a lot in 13 years!

So many breeds to choose from, so much research to do on breeders.

Now, before you get all noble with me, yes, I’ve looked at rescues, but knowing yourself is key — and I can’t go that route.

Some are cute, and all deserve their own furever home, but not here.

Just reading the bios brings me to tears. And then I get angry.

To think anybody would keep a dog in a crate 24/7, use it only for breeding, and when that’s unsatisfactory, dump it roadside, makes me want to put my fist through a wall!

Sadly, in my area, there are lots of puppy mills. Backyard breeders who know nothing about what they’re doing and see puppies as a way to make a quick buck. People who indiscriminately blend two or more breeds, trying for a unique look, not taking faults or strengths of each breed into consideration.

I demand a better breeder than that. Someone willing to work with me and teach me; someone I can trust to match me with the right dog for the next 12-15 years of its life.

With good breeders, waiting is part of the drill. Puppies aren’t like oranges — you don’t just go to the store and pick one up. You get on a list, wait for a mama dog to have babies, and perhaps one of them will be right for you.

And try to enjoy the journey.

Woolly Bear

When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself. ~Louis Nizer, Jewish-American trial lawyer

Despite my love for debate, I don’t enjoy confrontations.

You know, the kind where you have to read somebody the riot act to get them to stop scraping their shoes all over your feelings.

Take the other day, for instance.

I’ve been extra-cautious during this pandemic in an effort to keep myself — and my elderly mother — safe and healthy.

Except for trips to the grocery store, pharmacy, post office, bank, and so forth, I’ve stayed home. And when I do have to go to one of those places, I don a mask, wash my hands afterwards, sanitize my car, jump in the shower to wash myself head to toe, and throw everything in the laundry.

Immediately.

Now when the Illinois Governor announced he was letting hair salons reopen (with certain restrictions in place), I eagerly made an appointment.

Tired of looking like a woolly mammoth, I was happy to report to my son the Domer about my upcoming opportunity to return to Debbie-ness.

Until he warned me that, if his grandma caught the coronavirus, it was going to be my fault!

“She hasn’t gone anywhere,” Domer said. “You don’t want to bring it home to her.”

Gulp.

‘Of course not, but you got your hair cut,’ I told him.

‘And I’m not infecting anybody either,’ he said.

Ouch.

You mean I’m being selfish and irresponsible to want to look decent again, after months of more-or-less isolation?

Hmm.

And that would have been the end, except my sis gave me an almost identical warning!

This, after she’s been gleefully going to church, hair and nail salon, shopping mall, you-name-it for weeks now (the governor of her state wasn’t racing, like Illinois was, to be the last to reopen!)

Give her credit for apologizing when I told her how hurt I was that I was going to get the blame for something beyond my control. And besides, most of these outside treks were at Mom’s insistence.

My dilemma is this: should I go ahead with a haircut and take a chance that my (and Mom’s) immune systems are strong, or should I embrace this hirsute look?

Help me out with a comment, okay?

Beauty Abounds

We need beauty because it makes us ache to be worthy of it. ~Mary Oliver, American poet

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Oh my Azalea

How big and lovely you are

Wish your blooms would stay

 

Komboloi Worry Beads

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. ~Author Unknown

Have you found yourself fretting during this global pandemic?

Wishing you had something to occupy your hands so you wouldn’t constantly stuff your face with food or gnaw your fingernails?

Maybe Komboloi worry beads could be a solution for you.

Komboloi (“come-bo-loy”) is a word that comes from two Greek words for knot and collection.

In essence, they’re Greek worry beads.

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Handmade 12 mm Lapis Lazuli Gemstone Komboloi worry beads. Photo thanks to The Beaded Garden, which offers this strand for $99.90.

Now, the Old English word bede means prayer, and people of many religions (including Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists) use beads to worship. As a Catholic and a beader of jewelry, I know firsthand there’s something relaxing about fingering beads, hearing them click against one another, and uttering repetitious prayers.

But Komboloi — though they’re believed to have developed in medieval times as a way for Greek monks to count their prayers — don’t have a religious purpose these days. Instead, their popularity has surged as a means of combating tension and stress.

Komboloi delight the senses and serve as a fashion statement. They symbolize social prestige (some strands are quite expensive, depending on the materials used) and become an heirloom or keepsake. Some people use them as an amulet against bad luck; for others, it’s a reflection of their personality.

There are two ways to “play” with Komboloi — one quiet and the other loud. Both ways take skill to master. It’s said that the rhythmic clicking of bead against bead is what encourages relaxation, while giving the hands something to do.

Komboloi can be made from many types of beads. Amber or coral seem to be preferred, but precious stones, bones, wood, seeds, and other materials can be used.

Each strand consists of an odd number of beads (usually one more than a multiple of four), plus a fixed bead (the “priest”), and a tassel. Many variations on this design exist, and it’s suggested that each individual have his or her own strand rather than sharing, as the beads become symbolic to the person.

Finished Komboloi are available online, in stores, and at craft fairs, but the technique to make them is rather simple and can be found in step-by-step written or video directions. Besides, wouldn’t you want to personalize your strand as to color, length, and type of materials used?

That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent. ~Chinese Proverb

And the Rain Falls

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. ~Loren Eiseley, American anthropologist, writer, and educator

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Days upon days of rain

Drenching the ground below.

Keeping us sheltered at home

While Nature continues to grow.

It’s really too cool to garden,

Too wet to dig in the dirt.

My world has become an emerald,

My attire: jeans and T-shirt.

Hang on, people, hang on!

This, too, one day will pass.

Life will acquire a new normal;

Sun will shine on the glass.

It’s easy to drift into sadness

We’re all missing so much.

Perhaps it’s good for the world

To pause from our human touch.

We’re on a maiden voyage,

Fording an unknown sea.

Wading in deepening waters

From which we cannot flee.

Hold on, people, hold on!

It’s easier to smile than frown.

Refuse to add to the misery

Be kind during this slowdown.

Note: I think this poetry form is called Iambic Trimeter. It has three iambs per line. (Of course, if you know otherwise, please educate me!)