Christopher Motz's Blog, page 2

Giving Thanks For Being Alive

I’m not a huge fan of holidays, mainly for selfish reasons, but they’re my reasons and that’s what counts. I spend many holidays alone, locked in a room, writing or listening to music, and I’m perfectly happy that way. I don’t need specific days to feel happy, thankful, etc. Every day you wake up should be reason enough.

With that said, here’s what I’m thankful for…not only today, but every day:

I’m thankful I had 14 years with my father (1947-1994)…not angry that I didn’t have the last 22.

I’m thankful I had 33 years with my mother (1951-2013)…not angry that I lost the coolest person alive.

I’m thankful I had a long and happy friendship with my partner in crime, Nick Smith (1978-2016)…not angry about all of those late-night poker games that kept me from going to work.

I’m thankful for everyone in my family for making my childhood memorable: Uncle Sonny (1944-2013), Pop Motz (1907-1994), Nana Motz (1913-2014), Pop Ellis (1924-2012), Nana Ellis (1926-2013), stepfather Randy (1954-2014).

I’m thankful that my muse isn’t quite the alcoholic I am…and has kicked me in the ass enough times to actually publish a novel…which has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember.

I’m thankful that I had such an excellent time playing in rock bands for 20 years with some of the coolest people alive! From December Falling, to Millennium, to Equinox, Holly@Last, Guilty By Choice…some of the best times of my life were up on stage!

I’m thankful I’m still alive, which is probably a miracle in and of itself.

I’m happy for my close circle of friends, a small circle, but a quality one. My best friend Joe and I have weathered some serious shit over the last 25+ years…and I can still drink him under the table

Killing Your Creation

I’m not going to ramble on about this. I’m certainly no expert, far from it. I’m not writing this to tell you how to make likable characters, or to explain how I write mine. I’m here to explain to you that sometimes you have to do what’s right, and that decision may not come easily, but it is necessary.

Sometimes you need to kill them.

Killing characters is a plot device, pure and simple. It’s often used to shock the reader (or viewer – The Walking Dead anyone?) and generally moves the story ahead, sometimes changing the entire atmosphere of the tale. It may make your other characters take control, or it can just as easily push them apart. Now and again, characters die for one simple reason: because you just don’t like them!

You might ask “why.” You might wonder why a writer would want to kill one of his or her creations? Maybe they suffered terribly in the process. These writers must be sadists!! In my case, more than once, I looked at the growing personality of one of my own characters and realized that I didn’t like them. They were despicable people! They often did things that I found deplorable, and as their creator I felt that I had to take charge of the situation. I had to kill the rat bastards!!

You might think that the development of a character is all in the hands of the writer, and that is true most of the time, but now and again your characters take on a life of their own. You can’t control what they say and do! Your fingers type on auto-pilot and before you know it, you’re faced with an asshole character who you can no longer tolerate! Bring in the big guns! Something needs to be done!

In “The Darkening”, some of my characters made it and others didn’t. I never once planned on what happened to my cast, it just went the way it did. The story wrote itself at times and I just had to sit back and watch. The first draft had a very nasty character named Michael. Michael was not a very nice person, a product of his abusive father, he took his anger out on anyone and anything within reach of his crooked little fingers. By the second and third draft, Michael had gotten nastier, turning into a force nearly as mean as the main antagonist. So I killed the miserable jerk! End of story. Only now I had him interwoven throughout the book, only to kill him quickly and be done with his bullshit.

In the end, Michael served no purpose, and in removing him completely, I had to cut about fifteen pages of the manuscript. I think the story was better off without him. Rest assured, Michael will show up again.

So what do you think? Will you allow a character to grow and take over even if you hate who they’ve become, or do you trap them in a well-placed plot twist and extinguish them?

Finally, something in your life you can control. Be sure to make the right decision.

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The Art Of Self-Pity

Just because you’re a published author, does not mean you’re quitting your day job and moving to warmer climates. It just doesn’t work that way. Actually, it can be quite the opposite, and if you aren’t strong-willed, this business probably isn’t for you.

Everyone wants their baby to do well. You don’t want to watch it fall on its face and be forgotten; you don’t want people to make nasty remarks or point fingers. At the end of the day, you see that baby as an extension of yourself, and when it fails to achieve, you often take it personally.

You can’t do this!

As a self-published author, you’re in for a hell of a ride, and it’s going to be bumpy and generally unpleasant. Your day is full of advertising schemes, plots to attract readers, comparing numbers, praying for reviews…all while trying to write the next book so that you don’t become a one-hit-wonder. You sacrifice time with family and friends so that you can accomplish your daily writing goals, and often you turn into an ogre when your plans don’t reach fruition.

I’m new to this game, so I didn’t have any real expectations walking into this. I wanted to write a book, I wrote a book, I published a book. It’s more than most people can say, and I’m very proud of that achievement regardless of how well it does in the ranks. I won’t lie and say I don’t get upset when I see a day with little response to the novel, but at the same time, I’m a small fish with no track record, and I find ways to move beyond the aggravation. Only time and continued work will build a following, especially in the digital age of Kindles and NOOKs. There are a million books at the touch of a button, and the chance of YOU being that choice are very slim.

Writing is the easy part – getting people to read your writing is the challenge, but it’s only in your hands. No one is going to give you a magic button to push to make your book more visible. You are in control of how people see your book and where they see it. Write – release – repeat just doesn’t work anymore. Visibility is the name of the game.

So, I better get on that…

Don’t stop writing! You’re goal is NOT to be a millionaire, your goal is to hold your book in your hands and breathe a sigh of contentment that you were able to complete that journey. If you wrote a good story, people will find it and enjoy it as well.

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How Do You Write? Unorthodox Methods!

I’ve never sat down at my computer and thought to myself, “How should I write?” Is there a proper way to put your thoughts on paper? Surely, what you’re writing needs to be plotted well, pacing needs to be spot on, characters have to jump off the page so the reader will believe in them and feel something.  For me, there’s no proper way to write, as long as I feel I’m still achieving these goals.

One of my early mistakes was attempting to create long and detailed outlines so that I had something to follow, so at least the path was lit, even if it was a little dim. Sure, it got me from point A to point B and kept the narrative on track, but at the same time I often found myself becoming bored with a strict roadmap to follow. So I tossed out the idea of outlining and went with my approach instead: reckless abandon!

Now this is not to say I just sat down and thumped away on the keyboard without any real direction. I know where the story is going, and I always keep little notes and items of interest so that I don’t forget something. If at all possible, I don’t know where the tale will end until I get there – this keeps the writing fresh for me! If I know the ending before I start, the details in between suddenly become less important and I tend to lose focus. One thing to keep in mind: if you make notes, make them clear. I’ve already gone back to “amazing” ideas only to realize that my note was so obscure I forgot what the hell it was meant to say in the first place.

With “The Darkening”, I went through many edits and re-writes, cutting thousands of words for the final product so that it flowed a little more smoothly. This may be the one downfall of writing this way – I repeated myself a bit as the story progressed, almost as a placeholder so I knew where I was headed. The editing process fixed this issue and I think the finished product is much more streamlined. I guess I’ll let that decision up to you.

Short stories are a little different. The nature of a short story almost means that you should have a complete idea in your head as you start writing. I enjoy the art of trying to get novel-length ideas into 20 or 30 pages, but therein lies a different set of issues entirely. I tacked on two different short stories at the end of the novel, not only as bonus material for the readers, but also to see what they think of them. Maybe short story telling just isn’t my thing – maybe it is! Again, time will tell!

So, there’s really no right or wrong way to get your ideas down, as long as you are getting them down! Write every day, set goals, don’t read over your previous material and get bogged down in editing as you write. This is going to slow you down, and take it from me, it does! You’ll never look at your own work and describe it as “perfect,” but it doesn’t have to be perfect through your first 2 or 3 edits! That’s what edits are for! Set writing goals and stick to them, but don’t be frustrated when a two thousand word goal becomes a two hundred word day. If the muse isn’t working, don’t force it, or your writing will sound forced and you’ll end up going back and erasing what you fought so hard to get done in the first place.

I believe writing needs to be just as much fun as reading – so whatever you do, write to have fun and write because you have stories to tell! The rest is easy!

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Four Years Of Bad Road

Publishing a novel has not only been a dream of mine for decades, but has also handed me its fair share of pain and disappointment. I finished the first draft of “The Darkening” four years ago! FOUR YEARS! You don’t really feel that passage of time if not for certain touchstones along the way. Mine, unfortunately, have been life-changing.

My mother, for who I dedicated this book, was my biggest fan! I guess that goes without saying for the most part, but we would have weekly conversations about the manuscript, the progress on getting it finalized and out on the market, etc. I knew my mother would probably never read it, she simply didn’t enjoy horror novels, and wouldn’t appreciate my language or themes. Her support was tremendous.

After a few false starts, things started rolling a bit once Brian Keene (author extraordinaire) offered some services to help new authors. Just as this process was finishing up, my world was destroyed in August 2013, when my mother succumbed to a four year battle with cancer. Let me be the first to say – fuck cancer! I didn’t care about the book after that…I barely cared enough to shower regularly, and my visits to the bottom of a bottle were prolonged and profound.

By the end of 2013 I had buried 2 close friends, my mother, 3 grandparents, and an uncle. My stepfather followed in February 2014. The hits just kept on coming. Battling through my depression, steeped in alcohol and preferring rooms shrouded in darkness, the novel went on a back burner for some time. It just wasn’t a priority.

In the most cliched phrase ever: Life goes on!

And it did. I came back to the book and looked at it through new eyes. My tragedy changed some of the story, some of the writing, some of the characters. When writing about innocence lost, losing your entire family is a bottomless well of inspiration – one so dark that it can be easy to lose yourself.

As the book neared completion, I took another hit when one of my closest friends since childhood also succumbed to a short battle with cancer. My friend Nick was a huge part of the memories that went into building the setting for the novel – we were the explorers. It was an awful and tragic loss, just another along a road that was covered in bumps and potholes and dead ends.

I’d like to think that my mother and my friend would be proud of me for the accomplishment.

I proved to myself that pain can be managed, that loss can be overcome but not forgotten.

The novel is my tentative step in the right direction!

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The Social Media Learning Curve

I’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m a little behind the times when it comes to certain modern technologies. At one time I prided myself on being up-to-date. I bought my first DH TV as soon as it hit the store. I was on the Blu-Ray bandwagon when they still cost $50 a pop. I was always looking for the next best thing, the upgrade, the cool gadget I could tell my friends about.

Social media has been the stumbling block.

In 2004, I had a band that was becoming somewhat successful in the local scene. My singer at the time told me that if I wanted to promote our shows I would need to get a MySpace account to do so! What? What the hell is that? Let me just add, at this time I was still using a TracFone that I had JUST purchased! I grew up with a phone that had a cord and weighed 15 pounds, not this little plastic device that could allow me to make a call from anywhere at any time. And texting? Don’t even get me started!

So, I went on the trusty web and started a MySpace account. I learned how to use it, how to design it, how to add features, etc. When I was done I was a master of that page, and it worked for the intended purpose of getting my name and my band’s name out to the public. As soon as I could sit back and enjoy what I’d accomplished, MySpace began a quick and painful death, and soon I noticed that people weren’t paying attention anymore.

Why? Facebook! That’s why!

Okay, okay, what the hell is Facebook?

So now I start all over, I get a Facebook account and I’m immediately annoyed with the fact that I can’t customize anything. No cool background, no embedded music player – just a blank page with some sort of newsfeed thing, and people can “like” what I do. Okay, I’ll give it shot! Well, that was 7 years ago!! Once again, I feel pretty confident that I got everything out of Facebook possible. I understood that this media platform was no frills, but huge in reach. It works to connect people, and in that regard it succeeds.

It’s 2016, the book is out, and now I have a Twitter account. So, what now? I tweet? I re-tweet? I start adding POUND SIGNS!! The first time I saw this I had to figure out why a pound sign was now called a hashtag! Dammit already! I catch on quick, I learn as I go, but technology is really cruising along, and if you don’t stay on top of it, you’re going to get left behind.

#whatnext

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