William Lobb's Blog, page 17

Shopping…

In the grocery store, wearing the mask Janet Baskerville made me, and being genuinely happy I have such a nice mask. Worrying about what I’m touching, and then touching my face because it itched. Thinking about going in the men’s room and washing my hands and face, but what the fuck lurks in there waiting […]

There is good news… you have to look for it…

I took some FB flak for posting about the number of survivors from this virus. This is my response to any who disagree: We could all go jump off bridges and stuff now, I suppose… the news is dark, and horrible, and worse, seemingly, every moment. Please forgive me for trying to share some light. […]

Old Drunks, and Bad Timing

A conversation with an old friend, another drug addict, and a drunk. He said he’s been thinking about getting some wine a lot these past weeks. Wine, or some beers, maybe a joint or two to take the edge off, get a little fucked up. I replied I had similar thoughts during Ma’s last month. […]

My Best Day, As A Writer

Mo A random Facebook friend request, a name from deep in the past. From the old days, another place, another time, like a signal from a star fifty light-years away. From a world unrecognizable, and foreign, possibly imagined, but familiar and real. The whisper of long forgotten ghosts. “Are you Billy Lobb, from Truman Moon […]

The End of the World.

A young girl, Asian, I think she’s Chinese, not sure. She works as a nurses aide. Both of us walking, side by side down a narrow brick and glass and concrete corridor to the parking lot, facing west, the setting sun in our eyes. Nearly seventy degrees, sixty-eight last time I looked, in the heart […]

Haunting Houses

Abandoned train stations, old barns, houses like this… storytellers. How fast the fall can come. One hour on one day, one single event and everything that once was solid and stable can collapse into ruin. What caused the roof to fall and the doors to come off their hinges and the water to find its […]

The Last Christmas

The hallucinations are new… It’s the ceaseless beatings that are the worst, the most terrifying, I suppose. I stopped, months ago, trying to talk her out of these imagined attacks. She looks at me, not with anger, but disappointment that I can’t make it stop, I won’t stop them. Once, I brought in the head […]

My Friend Henry

My friend Henry is dead. I just heard. Looking back it’s been thirty years since we last spoke. Henry was not Polish, he was a “Fucking, black dirt, Polock.” He made that clear to anyone who was confused. He had a bad temper, and he liked to fight. He may be the only guy I […]

Egg Rolls and Dying

I’m thinking about the best Chinese food I ever ate as I’m watching you die. The nice woman who served me took a special pride in her hot oil. Some of the hottest stuff I ever put in my mouth. She smiled as she watched me sweat and chew. She knew it was perfect, she […]

The Manly Art of Dying at 35

Twenty-six years ago, today, I saw that terrified visage in the mirror. Blood running down my face, my eyes a combination of jaundice yellow and red. Is that even a color? The blood running down my throat, mixed with whatever chemicals in my gut made me puke in the sink. So many of my boys […]