A. Lynn Blumer's Blog, page 3
December 31, 2016
2016
Damn, what a year.
At the moment, I want to curse the whole thing and it has absolutely nothing to do with Trump being elected... and quickly, on that point, we have a lot more to worry about with Trump in 2017 than wasting more time lamenting over the election... so there! Now back to whatever i was going to say...
The last half of this year was particularly rough. It forced me through some hard and dark places internally, but places i'm at least glad to understand now. It's still a little fresh, so i'm actually forcing myself to write this recollection because I know it will help. Writing it out always helps :)
I'll start with the good parts.
I went on a wonderful trip south this summer that was full of reconnecting old ties. It started with a childhood friend's wedding and it was damn lovely to kick it with the old crew again. I almost didn't recognize some of them, but after a couple minutes everything felt so familiar! A decade couldn't change that.
From there I caught a plane to Memphis, TN to find my grandfather. It had been even longer than a decade since i had seen him, sadly because of some bullshit family drama that really has nothing to do with me, but I was on a mission, dammit! My grandfather had finally been committed to a home because his Alzheimer's was getting severe. He saw slipping away and all i ever knew of the man was his career--a life long career he devoted as a Psychiatrist specializing in Epilepsy and some touches on Bi-polar Disorder. A brilliant, multilingual man whose 48 publications can be found in 4 different languages on the shelves of 726 libraries across Europe and the United States, and for some petty reason i had more than one family member trying to stop me. Unfortunately for them, i wasn't going to be stopped... and fortunately for me, I had one cousin in Memphis that was on my side and put me up for a few nights. I took N: Poems and Stories with a short note addressed inside with me to the home, not really expecting much of anything to connect. I was just happy to see his face, but then he saw my last name on the cover and perked right up. That, paired with the note I had written to him, miraculously made it all click. When he grabbed my hand like a grandfather would, Oi... did I become a sniveling mess, hah! But, damn... for half an hour i had my grandfather this year, and that might sound small to some people, but it was honestly quite momentous!
Right after that trip, though, was when i was hit with one big fucking dose of reality that knocked me down and snuffed me out for just about the rest of the year. (warning: overdone metaphor on the way. Deal with it, assholes <3) I was left half-heatedly fanning embers and if it hadn't been for the people i had met this year, goddamn... I don't know where i'd be. No where good, I'm sure, but these wonderful people kept coming by with tinder and sticks to offer. Some would even blow on the coals for a bit when my fanning became rather pathetic, and then one utterly unexpected person brought me a log and was like, "Here! Let this one smolder a bit." and i was like, "Whoa, dude. Thanks!"
Somewhere among all this i managed to get N: Volume Two out, not without some mishaps, but still YAY ME! It was literally the last couple weeks of 2016 when i realized i had me a flame again, and now, with my trusty ax over my shoulder, I'm gonna get me a 2017 tree! So watch out! This Bitch is gonna burn bright :)
So... in conclusion, I guess I don't really have much to curse at the moment. Some serious shit happened, but i pulled through with a greater understanding of certain aspects of the world and certain aspects of myself. Those are some very precious things that i would never trade,and the whole thing could almost be looked at as a blessing (Nope. Too soon.)
Tonight, I raise my glass to the wonderful people that got me to the other side of this life changing year. A cousin that believed in my quest, a roommate that had all the tools and support i really needed, and then a few others who are well aware of who they are.
Cheers, Motherfuckers! <3
At the moment, I want to curse the whole thing and it has absolutely nothing to do with Trump being elected... and quickly, on that point, we have a lot more to worry about with Trump in 2017 than wasting more time lamenting over the election... so there! Now back to whatever i was going to say...
The last half of this year was particularly rough. It forced me through some hard and dark places internally, but places i'm at least glad to understand now. It's still a little fresh, so i'm actually forcing myself to write this recollection because I know it will help. Writing it out always helps :)
I'll start with the good parts.
I went on a wonderful trip south this summer that was full of reconnecting old ties. It started with a childhood friend's wedding and it was damn lovely to kick it with the old crew again. I almost didn't recognize some of them, but after a couple minutes everything felt so familiar! A decade couldn't change that.
From there I caught a plane to Memphis, TN to find my grandfather. It had been even longer than a decade since i had seen him, sadly because of some bullshit family drama that really has nothing to do with me, but I was on a mission, dammit! My grandfather had finally been committed to a home because his Alzheimer's was getting severe. He saw slipping away and all i ever knew of the man was his career--a life long career he devoted as a Psychiatrist specializing in Epilepsy and some touches on Bi-polar Disorder. A brilliant, multilingual man whose 48 publications can be found in 4 different languages on the shelves of 726 libraries across Europe and the United States, and for some petty reason i had more than one family member trying to stop me. Unfortunately for them, i wasn't going to be stopped... and fortunately for me, I had one cousin in Memphis that was on my side and put me up for a few nights. I took N: Poems and Stories with a short note addressed inside with me to the home, not really expecting much of anything to connect. I was just happy to see his face, but then he saw my last name on the cover and perked right up. That, paired with the note I had written to him, miraculously made it all click. When he grabbed my hand like a grandfather would, Oi... did I become a sniveling mess, hah! But, damn... for half an hour i had my grandfather this year, and that might sound small to some people, but it was honestly quite momentous!
Right after that trip, though, was when i was hit with one big fucking dose of reality that knocked me down and snuffed me out for just about the rest of the year. (warning: overdone metaphor on the way. Deal with it, assholes <3) I was left half-heatedly fanning embers and if it hadn't been for the people i had met this year, goddamn... I don't know where i'd be. No where good, I'm sure, but these wonderful people kept coming by with tinder and sticks to offer. Some would even blow on the coals for a bit when my fanning became rather pathetic, and then one utterly unexpected person brought me a log and was like, "Here! Let this one smolder a bit." and i was like, "Whoa, dude. Thanks!"
Somewhere among all this i managed to get N: Volume Two out, not without some mishaps, but still YAY ME! It was literally the last couple weeks of 2016 when i realized i had me a flame again, and now, with my trusty ax over my shoulder, I'm gonna get me a 2017 tree! So watch out! This Bitch is gonna burn bright :)
So... in conclusion, I guess I don't really have much to curse at the moment. Some serious shit happened, but i pulled through with a greater understanding of certain aspects of the world and certain aspects of myself. Those are some very precious things that i would never trade,
Tonight, I raise my glass to the wonderful people that got me to the other side of this life changing year. A cousin that believed in my quest, a roommate that had all the tools and support i really needed, and then a few others who are well aware of who they are.
Cheers, Motherfuckers! <3
December 19, 2016
Slightly Disturbing
Hey Good Read Peeps!
Check it out! Here's a short story I wrote a couple months ago, inspired by a dream I had a long time ago of a woman in a gold bra. Any more explanation than that could be considered a spoiler, so all I'm going to say is I'm glad I don't have dreams like that so much anymore.
Crimson & Chrome
Check it out! Here's a short story I wrote a couple months ago, inspired by a dream I had a long time ago of a woman in a gold bra. Any more explanation than that could be considered a spoiler, so all I'm going to say is I'm glad I don't have dreams like that so much anymore.
Crimson & Chrome
December 18, 2016
N: Vol 2
Copies of N: vol 2 are available! They're $15 and yes, I know that's a little steep but it comes with a beautiful full colored section by writer/painter Alex Tadder! I can also send a digital copy upon request and I'm open to trades :)
Message me if you're interested!
December 5, 2016
Better When I'm Yelling...
I have only ever read this piece out loud, mostly because I enjoy having the opportunity to scream at strangers, but I also felt that level of despair wouldn't translate quite right on a page. I typed it out recently, though, just to see.... I think I was wrong. Of course, it's never the same reading it to hearing it, but I shouldn't deny one method for my own personal preference... so here it is!
Maria, Maria
Maria, Maria,
Wouldn’t want
To be ya.
So beautiful
They all could
Eat ya…
Maria, Maria…
You tap a counter top
A marble so cold
Worth its weight in gold
The sound—it sounds the same
No matter how many lines
& curves it can bounce over.
It’s echo.
It’s void.
It’s there.
Where is it?
Maria, Maria…
They all wanted
A piece of ya.
They rummaged—
They’re rubbish.
Maria, Maria…
There ain’t a lot-a
To ya, but
There’s a lot
Of to-ya
To sort through.
You are a rat in a pot
Of boiling water with
It’s stomach popped.
You are a sink rag.
You are a floor rag.
Your stomach is tight.
Maria, Maria…
They all thought
They could fix ya
When all ya could do
Was run.
They caught ya
& put ya down soft
On comforters.
They built up their walls
Strong—around ya
They all longed
& left behind
All their big tools
That were meant for you.
Maria, Maria…
Ya just wanted to fill it.
Maria, Maria…
Its always coming
Back to ya.
Maria, Maria…
MARIA, MARIA…
MARIA! MARIA!
SO LOUD
YOU COULD SMASH IT
WITH YOUR BIGGEST
FUCKING HAMMER!
MARIA!
MARIA!
MARIA!
SHATTER—you did just that.
Maria, Maria…
So beautiful
None of them
Could see ya.
Maria, Maria…
Wouldn’t want
To be ya.
Maria, Maria
Maria, Maria,
Wouldn’t want
To be ya.
So beautiful
They all could
Eat ya…
Maria, Maria…
You tap a counter top
A marble so cold
Worth its weight in gold
The sound—it sounds the same
No matter how many lines
& curves it can bounce over.
It’s echo.
It’s void.
It’s there.
Where is it?
Maria, Maria…
They all wanted
A piece of ya.
They rummaged—
They’re rubbish.
Maria, Maria…
There ain’t a lot-a
To ya, but
There’s a lot
Of to-ya
To sort through.
You are a rat in a pot
Of boiling water with
It’s stomach popped.
You are a sink rag.
You are a floor rag.
Your stomach is tight.
Maria, Maria…
They all thought
They could fix ya
When all ya could do
Was run.
They caught ya
& put ya down soft
On comforters.
They built up their walls
Strong—around ya
They all longed
& left behind
All their big tools
That were meant for you.
Maria, Maria…
Ya just wanted to fill it.
Maria, Maria…
Its always coming
Back to ya.
Maria, Maria…
MARIA, MARIA…
MARIA! MARIA!
SO LOUD
YOU COULD SMASH IT
WITH YOUR BIGGEST
FUCKING HAMMER!
MARIA!
MARIA!
MARIA!
SHATTER—you did just that.
Maria, Maria…
So beautiful
None of them
Could see ya.
Maria, Maria…
Wouldn’t want
To be ya.
October 9, 2016
Noob Bloog
Hello!
Welcome to my very first blog post. I'll admit the idea was a bit intimidating, so pardon as I just get my feet wet here.
Foremost, I would like to say how happy I am to finally delve into the GR community. I made a profile years ago, probably while half out of my mind and half trying to kill time, so i'm not entirely surprised I completely lost track of it. Although, with help from a friend and maybe a nudge from fate, I was pulled back in to find this amazing outlet I had unintentionally closed myself off to.... Y'all are awesome and you'll certainly see me wandering through here more often!
Secondly, I'm glad to state my contribution to HST Quarterly. It's on the tame side and the pdf is free, so don't be a pussy and check it out! Also, if you're curious to find more freaks and degenerates displaying themselves, hit up Horror Sleaze Trash
Lastly, my direction with this blog will probably depend on how I'm feeling that day. I'll certainly post updates on N: Poems and Short Stories Vol.2 as we are very very close to releasing it, and I'm sure I'll post bits of my writing here too.
Thanks for reading/browsing/being you.
Sin-seriously,
A.lynn
Welcome to my very first blog post. I'll admit the idea was a bit intimidating, so pardon as I just get my feet wet here.
Foremost, I would like to say how happy I am to finally delve into the GR community. I made a profile years ago, probably while half out of my mind and half trying to kill time, so i'm not entirely surprised I completely lost track of it. Although, with help from a friend and maybe a nudge from fate, I was pulled back in to find this amazing outlet I had unintentionally closed myself off to.... Y'all are awesome and you'll certainly see me wandering through here more often!
Secondly, I'm glad to state my contribution to HST Quarterly. It's on the tame side and the pdf is free, so don't be a pussy and check it out! Also, if you're curious to find more freaks and degenerates displaying themselves, hit up Horror Sleaze Trash
Lastly, my direction with this blog will probably depend on how I'm feeling that day. I'll certainly post updates on N: Poems and Short Stories Vol.2 as we are very very close to releasing it, and I'm sure I'll post bits of my writing here too.
Thanks for reading/browsing/being you.
Sin-seriously,
A.lynn
