Cait Gordon's Blog, page 7
August 21, 2023
The 2023 Prix Aurora Awards: We’re winners, no, TWINNERS!
Last Saturday evening, August 19, 2023, I was a bit exhausted from lack of spoons. I’d been on a really cool panel for a couple of hours that afternoon about supporting authors and artists in an age of AI, and I was ready to settle down with some Ottawa Redblacks football. Oh sure, the 2023 Prix Auroras were at 7:00 p.m., and Talia and I were nominees for our disability fiction anthology, Nothing Without Us Too, but I figured we wouldn’t win. So, all I had to do was enter the green room and when they announced the winner, I could be happy for them and then go rest.
One of the collections I thought would win for the Best Related Work category was The Astronaut Always Rings Twice, edited by Shannon Allen and JR Campbell, published by Tyche Books. I sometimes have a feeling about these things.
And I was right! They won!
Except…
My eyes couldn’t really focus right away on the winner’s card. There was more text than I expected. As I scrolled to the bottom, I saw in bold the words: Nothing Without Us Too. But that wasn’t right, was it?
Talia and I had been messaging each other since the ceremony started and I looked at my phone and saw her surprise emoji, then a “holy” expletive, and when I realized I wasn’t imagining things, I replied with my own “holy” expletive. Now, I am known to be extroverted and gabby, but all I could type to her was: WHAT DO WE SAY??? Didn’t I have an acceptance speech planned? Pfft, that’s just silly thinking.
I mean, I had typed short bullet points in an email to Talia in case I couldn’t make it for health reasons, but I didn’t expect in the slightest to win! I was even in my comfy grey jeans and a sleeveless polo. And I had to laugh to myself when I saw Talia onscreen wearing her “I’m here, I’m queer, and my pain is moderate to severe” T-shirt. Welp, casual award-wear is now a thing, okay? You first read it here!
Acceptance speech, or, thank goodness for Talia(I am so grateful that Talia could use words that night, because mine had fled me. Here’s the transcript.)
Talia: Really thanks to everyone. And congratulations to our co-winners because everybody who’s a finalist is more than deserving. And I want to do a shout out to everybody nominated in all the categories because everything is just so wonderful—the more the merrier. Thanks to Renaissance for believing in us with Nothing Without Us and then Nothing Without Us Too. And Cait and I… we put [this anthology] together through a pandemic, which when disabled in a pandemic is not the easiest thing. And most especially to our writers. Because without the quality of the stories we received it would have been impossible to put together. And I know some of our writers are still going through a rough time, especially with some of the events going on around the country, in the world, with climate change. So it’s important to mention that.
Cait: Yeah. So, Talia and I were messaging during this, and she’s… I said, “What, WHAT?” completely unprepared. [laughs] She said, “Do you want me to go first?” I said,“YES! Yes, please do.” I… well, you know, it was my birthday this week. And really, you didn’t have to. So so thoughtful. [folks laugh] But yeah, you know, to everyone who also submitted to Nothing Without Us [Too] and weren’t in the anthology, the fact that you folks wrote during a pandemic when we were so marginalized… You’re all rock stars and winners as well… And everything Talia said! [laughs]
Twinner-twinner, chicken dinnerIf I understand correctly, this might have been a first-ever tie, but forgive me if I’m wrong. I am still quite floored. I think it’s way cool, and many congratulations to Shannon and Jeff for their win also. It was a pretty special night.
So many thanks to everyone involved on this project
We acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts
for the Nothing Without Us Too anthology.
Visit canadacouncil.ca to learn more about this organization!
Also, a big shout out to:
Author and disability advocate Amanda Leduc for her amazing foreword!Artist April Laramey for her fantastic cover art!Nathan Fréchette and Ned Seager’s layout and design!Our copy editor Allyson Throp!All of our authors! The book would be blank pages without you!Renaissance, for their never-wavering believe in Talia’s and my abilities, even when we doubted ourselves.Want to know more about Nothing Without Us Too?You can go to our anthology website and you can view the book trailer below, which features several of our authors talking about disability representation in fiction!
Where to buy the anthology?Please check or ask your local indie bookshop for the anthology! The 49th Shelf link has a shop local button! Here are some other places to find it:
RenaissanceChapters-IndigoBooks2Read49th ShelfThanks again, folks!I say this all the time and I always mean it: thank you so much for supporting the works of disabled creatives. You’re the best! I’m gonna go and continue to try to let this all sink in. Cheers!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us (a 2020 Prix Aurora Award finalist) and Nothing Without Us Too (a 2023 Prix Aurora Award winner).
July 14, 2023
Writing as a Spoonie: the Art of Celebrating the Small Wins
The title of this article actually makes me sound like I’m an expert on something. Surprise! I’m so not. But I do have some lived experience to share about what it’s like to have too few spoons (a metaphor for available energy as devised in Christine Miserandino’s Spoon Theory).
Yeah, too few spoons… resulting in too few words on the page.
First off, I would like to encourage us to believe that there really is no such thing as writing “too few words” for a work in progress (WIP). In my view, anything added to a current manuscript is something to celebrate. It’s content that wasn’t there a day ago.
And this month, I’ve been so tired, my tired is tired. I set a 10,000 word goal for July’s Camp NaNoWriMo, so I could finish the first draft of Hot Wings and Sauciness. To date, I’m just under the halfway mark. I haven’t been able to write every single day, and I’m mostly managing between 300-400 words at a time. It’s going slowly, which with all my health issues and appointments and tests, I knew it would. Yet, I am writing. That is a win.
It’s easier than you’d think to celebrate these achievements. As soon as I realized there’s also no such thing as a small win, everything clicked. Because big or small in this context is a construct. Typing three hundred words on a day when I can barely think straight is an enormous win. So, the “size” of a win is greatly nuanced. It depends on the circumstances of our reality. We need to be gentle with ourselves, and self-affirmation is a lovely habit to develop. A little “Go me!” goes a long, long way.
I am very protective of wanting to love to write. I snarl like an angry dog if anything threatens that. Never do I wish to pressure or push myself. I’m disabled with chronic pain and fatigue. The thought of ever having a three-book deal terrifies me. What’s important to me is working with a publisher who never expects my next book. This is why Renaissance has been such a good fit for me over the years. Whenever I have a submittable manuscript, I simply query them again. My pace has to be set by my bodymind. Otherwise, I know I will come to resent writing. And I never want that to happen. Indie publishing is another way I can have flexible publishing dates. I’m looking forward to become a hybrid author that way.
As for writing methods, I have an opinion or two about them. If you follow this blog or read Write magazine, the official publication of The Writers’ Union of Canada, you’ll know how I feel about the “You must write every day” absolutes. Spoiler: I despise them. (You can read my article, “The Ableism and Privilege of ‘You Must Write Every Day’” here.) I feel strongly that writing each day should only be a choice, not an obligation that comes at the cost of everything, including your peace of mind and health.
So, I regularly check in with myself. Am I too unwell today? Then maybe arranging the alphabet can wait. Do I feel I can write a little? Okay, I will write a little. And if I begin and feel myself conking out, I stop. It’s super fine to stop. You’re not a failure or less than in any way for doing so. You’re taking care of you!
And in the end, the books get written. I have two novels published with a third on the way in September. Hot Wings is my fourth book and I have a sequel to Life in the ’Cosm as another WIP. Several of my short stories have been published and some poems. My work gets completed. Maybe not at blazing speed, but it does. I am proud of what I have accomplished and how I keep growing as an author.
I have no desire or obligation to compete with any other author. This includes Past Me. All I have to do is manage Present Me’s spoons, so Future Me will still have spoons to write more stories.
Yeah, so there’s no magic formula. It’s mostly just being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to be thrilled with what you are doing, even to be happy about resting instead. Remember that it takes strength to take a pause too.
Whatever your reality, I wish you joy in your writing and in the moments when you’re not writing. I wish you joy full stop!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
Header photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
July 10, 2023
How Pruning Flowers Became a Lesson in Mental Health
So, many of you might already know how much I love gardening. I simply adore playing in the dirt, discovering how to care for new species, and am a tree mom to my small red maple, Leanie. I have always loved flora. And when it came to world-building for the ’Cosm Series (Life in the ’Cosm and its prequel, The Stealth Lovers), I loved having sentient daisies who assumed they should take care of people—not the other way around. I mean, not gonna lie: with the way my brain brains, I would love a floral personal assistant.
When I was new to gardening, in my 20s, I didn’t understand the importance of dead-heading (removing dead flowers on plants) and pruning. I’m embarrassed to admit I’m only really understanding it now. The notion took root (see what I did there) when someone explained it so clearly to me. If you keep something dead on a plant, a lot of energy will go into it, halting the plant from forming new sprouts and buds, preventing it from growing to its full potential. This was why my gardens in the past weren’t as lush or full of blooms as they are now. Oh, I had been diligent about fertilizing, but not deadheading or pruning.
A lot of nutrients were feeding dead things. But prune the dead thing, and watch new wonderful things happen.
Thus, I transferred the lesson to my own life. I had been giving a lot of energy to situations that were not meant to remain in my journey. One example is Twitter. And when you give and give and try to make something grow that just can’t grow anymore, you yourself feel like you’re withering. So, I cut out that thing, even though pruning hurts, and waited. In no time, I had diverted all that energy back into writing books. My new sprouts were forming! There were buds too!
This can also happen with careers, relationships, even family. Sometimes we have to realize that the only way we can thrive is to stop feeding what has ceased to be viable. These decisions are never easy, but if we can do them safely, then we might find we’ll start to grow—and thrive—again. Of course, I am no supreme expert and this article is just my opinion based on my lived experience, so please, always do things at your own pace, on your own time, and taking any impacts into consideration. Nobody knows you and your life like you do.
Saying goodbye can be tough. I find it is easier though, when I assess whether the situation can be saved. Giving myself permission to accept when something is futile is vital to my brain. I’m a problem solver by nature, and I want to come up with solutions.
Sometimes, in the end, the answer is to prune, heal, then wait for the new sprouts. Again, in my experience, the new growth always comes.
We only have this one life, at least that’s what I believe anyway, and I really want to keep growing, each and every day until winter has finally come for me. While it’s still gardening season, I owe it to myself and my mental health to get rid of what keeps me from blooming. May the shiny new leaves and vibrant petals begin!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
Header photo is a photo of a scarlet coneflower that has many buds and is just coming into bloom.
July 4, 2023
Nothing Without Us Too is a recommended read by All Lit Up for Disability Pride Month!
July is Disability Pride Month and a great way to support disabled creatives is to buy our books, review them, and spread the word about them! Nothing Without Us Too is a multi-genre disability fiction anthology that has 27 authors for you to read and then seek out their other works.
So, I was thrilled to discover our book is on the list of All Lit Up’s “12 Reads for Disability Pride Month!” It’s an honour to be chosen! We’re so proud of this collection and our authors.
Fun fact: Nothing Without Us is also a nominee in the Best Related Works category of the 2023 Prix Aurora Awards! Voting takes place until July 29, 2023. Learn more about these awards and how to become a member of the CSFFA at their website.
Want to purchase the anthology? It’s available in paperback and ebook (audio book should be happening soon). Check out my published works page to discover where you can pick it up. Also, you can ask your local indie bookstore if they have it or if they can order it!
Thanks as always for your support!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
Header photo is the disability pride flag.
June 19, 2023
Voting for the 2023 Prix Aurora Awards has begun and Nothing Without Us Too is a nominee!
Hiya, fellow humans! This is just a reminder that the voting window for the 2023 Prix Aurora Awards is now open (June 17–July 29, 2023). Nothing Without Us Too is a nominee in the Best Related Works category! Whoo!
If you would like to vote for our anthology and/or the other awesome works, you must be a member of the Canadian Science Fiction and Fantasy Association (CSFFA). Not a member? It’s easy to become one if you’re a Canadian citizen or Permanent Resident! And the fee is only $10 a year. What’s also cool is that you can download a voters’ package through their website once you can log in and get a bunch of nominated works to read through! That’s a lot for $10 CDN!
Please visit the CSFFA website for details about the Prix Aurora Awards and how to join the association. Here’s a direct link to the ballot that lists all the nominees for this year! Thank you as always for supporting the works of disabled creatives! And well, any human creative, to be honest. We’re living in interesting times, that’s for sure.
Cheers!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
Header photo of the aurora borealis is from Canva. Prix Aurora Logo is from the CSFFA and used with permission to promote the awards.
June 12, 2023
Mini-essay Monday: This Word Can Seem
Retreat. This word can seem like cowardice or a respite.
Selfish. This word can seem harmful or an act of caring.
Indulge. This word can seem excessive or the desire to soothe.
Drift. This word can seem like distraction or a gentle escape.
Focus. This word can seem like a rebuke or a mission.
Love. This word can seem like a feeling, not an act of will.
Dream. This word that offers me a retreat where I can be selfish, indulge in my passions, drift to a better place, focus on what matters, and learn how to love myself more.
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
Header photo by Karyme Franu00e7a on Pexels.com
June 9, 2023
The Effect of Social Media on My Autistic Brain
Over at the Spoonie Authors Network, I wanted to share what I have learned about the impact of social media on my mental health and my autistic brain!
Photo by DS stories on Pexels.comI’m autistic and because there might be many ways autistic folks experience social media, I am only giving my point of view in this article. We’re not a monolith, but sometimes neurotypical folks kind of box us up that way. I happen to be a social extrovert — bubbly, enthusiastic, chatty — all while being autistic. Yup, I can be all those things at once. (And I really do love trains.)
Because I am so social, social media seemed like the perfect thing for someone like myself who is also disabled and can’t always gather in person. When I was first on it, I loved how I could meet folks from around the globe. Then when I really needed them, my fellow humans in Disability and Neurodivergent circles were there for me. I interacted, laughed, learned, and shared. I even advocated. It was nice…
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June 2, 2023
Pride and PEW-PEW-PEW!
It’s Pride month, and I am a queer author (abrosexual, or as I like to say, a graceful watermelon). I’m also autistic and disabled, as many of you already know. You probably also already know that the first book of my new disability hopepunk series, Season One: Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space!, is coming to Earth on September 15, 2023.
What’s on my mind today is how Pride feels different this year. I came out later in life, so even in my 50s, I am a “baby queer” or maybe a “toddler queer” now. (Guess that means I say no a lot and prefer that sippy cup over there—wait, not that sippy cup, that one!) But regardless of when I claimed my identity—and it’s something one does at their own time, so no pressure on anyone—I am still part of this community. I really care about how its getting attacked. Hate is levelling up against us, and this is unacceptable. Hate, sadly, is nothing new, but it’s pretty freaking loud these days. Gaslighters also seem to want to blame us for everything instead of looking to the real issues of society, such as greed, toxic entitlement, selfish-as-heckness, lack of supports for physical and mental health, lack of all kinds of accessibility, and fear-mongering.
As an author, it also strikes me hard that banning books by us is on the rise. Well, historically, fascism and controlling authorities never like ideas. So, the thought of fiction that promotes celebration of diversity or nonfiction that underscores a reality…these written works can be super threatening to some folks.
Which, I will never understand. Diversity makes the world rich, interesting, and beautiful. Stories and memoirs educate, enrapture, and expand our minds. Why would we want to limit ourselves to reading only one lifestyle and only one narrative? That’s boring and doesn’t reflect reality.
While I want allies to stand with us, I also want folks who are LGBTQIA2S+ to stand with their disabled, d/Deaf, Blind, neurodivergent siblings in our communities. Accessibility and accommodation at Pride and other events are a sign of love too!
As for bringing up my book, I told a friend that I was so focused on having inclusion of disability, neurotypes, and states of being, it only hit me later that the entire principle cast of Iris and the Crew is part of our rainbow acronym. I guess my real-life experience is being surrounded by queer humans in the disability community, so I just naturally wrote characters who reflected what I know. And this makes me happy. My hope is that it inspires (in a healthy way…not inspiration-porny ways) to have this kind of inclusion and body celebration in our communities. I would love people to “get ideas” from my story, which motivates them to love and not hate.
One of the most moving reader-feedback for me was when a friend of the family who is in his 80s read my book, The Stealth Lovers, and said, “I never realized two men could love each other that way.” It’s not that he was homophobic, but I think perhaps he just never had that exposure. And he really enjoyed the story. Sometimes an introduction to queer realities can even be through fiction.
I love space opera as a genre and of course, I love being in Queer-Disabled community. So, I guess my writing is about the Pride and the PEW-PEW-PEW! (With apologies to Jane Austen… although now I want to write this as a novel.)
This month, I would encourage you to support authors who are LGBTQIA2S+. Seek their works. Ask for them in your local libraries and indie bookstores. We typically put a lot of love into our stories and want them to be out in the world. Give books reviews. Recommend them to friends.
So, ally humans, if you come across trans-/bi-/homo-/queerphobia, let people know (if it’s safe for you to do so) that you don’t accept that kind of hatred. Even by saying something like, “I care about the human rights of all people and refuse to discriminate.”
Queer humans, this month might be hard for you and you might need a rest from educating people about your lived experiences. Or, you might feel stressed that you must come out (again, there’s no pressure and only do things if you are safe). I wish you a good Pride month, whatever that means for you.
I wish I could be more eloquent about all of this, but let me end this post by saying that I am sending love to you all. We can always use more love, right?
Yeah, I think so too.
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
Header photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels.com
May 26, 2023
Iris and the Crew is available for pre-order at some locations!
Bodymind celebration? An accessible ship? And PEW-PEW-PEW?
You betcha!
(There might also be scenes of dessert-eating! After all, this is a Cait Gordon space opera…)
But much excite! The paperback of Season One: Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space! is now available to pre-order at certain locations:
Chapters-Indigo Another Story Book Shop The Spaniel’s TalePerfect BooksOctopus BooksBooks on BeechwoodIf you’re in Canada, you can visit the 49th Shelf website and click the Shop Local button to discover which indie shops carry it near you. Wherever you are on this rotating orb, maybe you ask if your local indie bookstore can order it for you! (And thanks to all who support the works of disabled creatives.)
When the ebook is released, I will update you all for sure! I have been told there will be an audiobook as well, but that will be released perhaps in 2024. I will keep you posted on all updates!
This is the fifth book with my name on it, and the squeefulness is still there. Maybe even more so because writing a disability hope-punk space opera in the middle of a global pandemic was really something. I can never say that enough. I’m so thrilled to Renaissance for once again believing in my work.
Yay! All the yay!
Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’Cosm, The Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the award-nominated, multi-genre, disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too.
