Ruth Ann Nordin's Blog, page 37

New Year’s Resolutions & What I’m Working On

This upcoming year is just about having fun.

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The resolutions:

1. I’m not going to think of writing as a business anymore.

Authors are told to market and market and market their books all day long. After all, no one knows you have a book unless you tell them about it. While I can see why conventional wisdom says this (and yes, it does work when done right), I’m not a good business person. I never have been, and trying to force myself into a box to be a good marketer has never worked. It’s not my personality style, and it’s been making me miserable. So I’m not doing to do it anymore.

I’ll still be on Facebook and MeWe once in a while, but I won’t be there often. I will, however, still blog on a regular basis since I love blogging. I’ll also keep up with the monthly newsletter blog posts, which I also enjoy doing.

2. I’m only writing books I’m passionate about.

I’ve been doing this since November 1, and I’ve been shocked by how much joy and enthusiasm I feel for writing again. Over the past three weeks, I have averaged between 3,000 – 4,000 words a day when I write. Last Friday, I didn’t want to stop writing. I tried, but the urge to get back to one of the stories I’m working on wouldn’t leave me alone. For the first time in years, I actually wrote 6,000 words. And I wasn’t exhausted. I was energized and ready for more. But I made myself quit because I had to go to bed. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this kind of enthusiasm for writing. For the past three years when I hit 3,000,  I was relieved to be done for the day.  It makes a huge difference when you WANT to write. I will never go back to writing for a market ever again.

3. I’m going to be six months ahead of my publishing schedule.

I never want to worry about rushing a book ever again. There were books I, unfortunately, cut short because I had to reach a deadline. I’m not going to tell you what they were because it’s embarrassing to admit I did that. Fortunately, I didn’t do this often. Most books played out the way they were meant to.

I only admit this publicly is to give anyone hope who might have done something similar. Maybe this isn’t with writing a book. Maybe it’s something else you did that you only did half-heartedly when you look back and wish you had done it with all of your heart instead. There’s no point in beating yourself up about the past. It’s done. I had a friend who used to say, “Let lying dogs lie.”

The best way to move forward is by letting things in the past stay in the past. I am not going back and rewriting books anymore. I’m done with that. What I’m going to do is work on new stories because that’s where my heart is. I can do that whole-heartedly. The best projects you can do are those you can give 100% of yourself to. A new year is a great time for embracing new starts. You can make this year anything you want.

Okay, now for what is coming out during the first half of this year.

One Enchanted Evening is done and uploaded for pre-order. The date it comes out is January 6.

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Click here for more information!

This is Book 2 in the Marriage by Fairytale Series.

Book 1: The Marriage Contract
Book 2: One Enchanted Evening
Book 3: The Wedding Pact (to be written)

After not having anything out for what feels like forever, I am happy to announce I got a new book coming out next month! It’s loosely based on Cinderella. This is my fun trip into the gothic romance genre. I had a blast with this. It’s in the Regency time period, so there are titled gentlemen and servants, etc. I just wanted to explore a level of deeper emotion than I have been in the Regency arena. In this case, I delve into the issue of unrelenting guilt and the need for redemption. It was a lot of fun to place the heroine who is struggling with this in a romance. Also, if you love super sweet virgin heroes, this book has one.

The Imperfect Husband is due out March 2

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Click here for more information. (Not on pre-order at Amazon or Google Play yet.)

This is the last book in the Misled Mail Order Brides Series.

Book 1: The Bride Price
Book 2: The Rejected Groom
Book 3: The Perfect Wife
Book 4: The Imperfect Husband

For those of you who were upset I didn’t address the issue of Mark tricking Velma and Tony into marrying each other so far in this series, be assured I did it in this book. When you read this book, you’ll see why my subconscious mind had to wait until this book to address that lie.

But the unexpected fun I came across in this book was how insecure the hero was. I had fun working with a hero who gets to grow into someone who learns to be secure along the course of the story, and he needs the heroine in order to do it. I am a firm believer that the right person in our lives can bring out the best in us, and it was fun to show that happen in this book.

Shane’s Deal is going to be out in April

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Not on pre-order. This will go to my awesome publisher.

This is the last and final book in the Montana Collection.

Book 1: Mitch’s Win
Book 2: Boaz’s Wager
Book 3: Patty’s Gamble
Book 4: Shane’s Deal

I will admit when I started this book, I was afraid I couldn’t pull it off. I had been wanting to finish up the Montana Collection for years, but I had trouble finding a plot that excited me. Finally, I had the inkling of an idea that involved a heroine who carrying a lot of money and is on the run. Anyone remember Madeline Thompson the outlaws were looking for at the beginning of Boaz’s Wager? Well, that is the heroine in this book. I always knew she was going to be the heroine and the marshal (Shane) was going to be the hero, but that was all I knew for years.

I started this book with such a slim idea that I expected this to be a novella. It turned out to be a full-length novel, and I’m thrilled with how the storyline progressed. I brought up a subplot in Boaz’s Wager and Patty’s Gamble that will finally reach its conclusion in this book, but I can’t say what it is without spoiling the book. Suffice it to say that this book really does complete the series.

Kidnapping the Viscount will be out in May

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Not on pre-order at Amazon or Google Play yet.

This is the last and final book in the Marriage by Fate Series.

Book 1: The Reclusive Earl
Book 2: Married In Haste
Book 3: Make Believe Bride
Book 4: The Perfect Duke
Book 5: Kidnapping the Viscount

I keep hearing that it’s best to write series that go on and on for many books, but I have found my interest quits around the 3-4 book mark. I threw this in an attempt to make this series longer. When I started it, I had planned for the typical storyline of a heroine who forces the hero to do something, and he ends up spending half the story sulking because of it.

To be honest, that bored me. So when I decided to write stories for passion again, I decided to switch things around. I wanted a romantic comedy, so I opted to give the book a twist. I set it up so that the hero schemes to make the heroine think she’s kidnapping him against his will. The result is a lot of great humor that had me laughing through half of the book. I’m glad I took this route instead of the one that was much more marketable.

 

 

Money Management: How Do You Want to Pay Off Debt?

I’m in the middle of paying off debt. I’ve been married now for 18.5 years, and, unfortunately, debt is still a way of life around my house.  I had the head knowledge of why being debt free was a good idea, but the heart wasn’t interested in doing what my mind wanted. It’s only been in the past year that I finally got serious about being debt free. Today I wanted to make a blog post addressing the payment of debts.

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Here are the two main strategies of paying off debt that seem to be the most popular:

1. Smallest to Largest:

This is mostly known as the Dave Ramsey way (aka the snowball method). For anyone who hasn’t heard of it, it involves saving $1000 in an emergency fund. Then you look at all of your debts, from smallest to largest. You pay off as much as you can on the smallest debt while paying minimum payments on the other debt. Then when the smallest is out of the way, you apply that amount to the new smallest debt on the list.

2. Highest Interest to Lowest Interest:

Then there’s the Suze Orman method. Other people since have mentioned it, but she’s the first one who introduced me to the concept, so I’m giving her credit for it. In this one, you pay off the debt with the highest interest rate first while making minimum payments off the others. When you knock out that specific debt, you tackle the debt with the next highest interest rate.

I’ve tried both of these over the years, and neither worked for my personality. I discovered I’m not motivated by either method.

In my last post, I talked about not taking advice from other people, and I think this is an area where this fits. Just because some people are motivated by the Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman method of paying off debt, it doesn’t mean all of us are.

When you are looking for a strategy that best fits your life, here are some things to consider:

1. How much of a financial risk can you afford to take?

The question that often pops up is, “Should we save first or pay off debt first?”

In my opinion: it depends on your situation. I know this isn’t helpful on the surface, but let me explain my reason for this answer.

I think we need to use the method that is tailored specifically for us and our comfort levels. Some people may not be comfortable with a $1000 emergency fund. They may want one that is $5000. Some people may even want more than that.

If you’re an author who is living off of your writing income, you’re self-employed. If you have no one to help pay the bills, you may want to have at least 3-6 months of living expenses in your savings account before taking care of debt. By the way, most self-employed people take on a much higher risk in general because if they don’t sell their product, they don’t get paid. On the other hand, people who work for someone else will get the paycheck as long as they don’t get fired.

Also, whether or not you live alone plays a factor into the level of risk you have. If you’re living alone, you are responsible for all of your financial bills. Or, if you aren’t living alone, you might be the only one bringing home any money. That puts additional pressure on you to make sure you can provide for everyone. If you have a spouse who is bringing in money, then you have some buffer in case you can’t make enough money to pay your bills anymore. In my opinion, the more sources of income you have coming into your home, the better off you are. So if you have multiple sources of income, you can afford to have a lower savings amount before you start paying off the debt.

So consider how much you want to risk before starting off with paying off debt (or continuing to pay off debt if you’re in the middle of doing this already).

2. What motivates you the most?

I think motivation is more important than anything else when it comes to paying off debt. If our hearts aren’t in it, then it’s going to be hard to commit.

If watching your debt list quickly grow smaller because you’re paying off the smallest ones first “wows” you, then you would probably like the Dave Ramsey plan. If you like knowing you’re getting rid of the highest interest rates, then you’ll probably like Suze Orman’s plan.

I actually fall into neither camp. I hate both of those plans. They never motivated me. I found out that I’m more motivated by knocking out the debt that takes out the biggest chunk of my income every month. The more cash flow I have each month, the easier it is for me to relax. I have discovered that I’m best motivated when I focus on paying off the debt that takes out the biggest chunk of my household income every month.

For example, years ago I had a truck payment that was $726 a month. That is insane! (We never paid off cars and kept trading them in on others, so a lot of our car debt just rolled into the new loan. Do NOT do this. I know I said don’t take advice, but seriously, this is a trap and it will bite you in the end.) I had about five credit cards, and another car loan  at the time. My husband was active duty military, and we were barely getting by because his income kept going into all of the debt. I had been trying to get through the Dave Ramsey plan, and I just couldn’t get into it because I was taking care of the smallest debt first. I realized if I paid off the truck, I would have $726 a month to buy good quality groceries with. Whereas if I only paid off the smallest debt, I’d only free my cash flow by $50. I was tired of peanut butter, ramen noodles, and other cheap stuff for me and my family. I wanted to eat well. So that’s what I did. And I didn’t roll the $726 into other debt. I used it for food. When you have six people in a family, food is a huge part of the monthly budget.

So, this is what I’ve been ever since. I’ve been paying off the debt that takes out the largest chunk of my household monthly budget first. I don’t know if anyone ever came up with my particular method, but I discovered this on my own after trial and error.

My point to all of the rambling is this:

If you find a way to pay off debt that excites you, you’re much better off than following someone else’s strategy. Don’t be afraid to try different techniques. Don’t be afraid if you end up failing while trying one strategy. It just means that strategy didn’t fit your personality. Don’t feel guilty just because someone else could do it a particular way and you can’t. I think we beat ourselves up too much over this kind of thing. Person A’s debt strategy plan was a good fit for Person A. It might not be a good fit for you. We don’t have to pigeon hole ourselves into someone else’s box. We are free to explore other ideas. As long as you’re paying off debt, that’s what matters, right?

What are your thoughts? Is there a different way you’re paying off debt that I didn’t mention?

Don’t Take Advice (Because You Already Know What You Want To Do and You Have to Live Your Life)

This post is loosely based off of the book I just finished titled The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything by Neil Pasricha. (I’ll give the link to it at the bottom of the post.)

Before I get into this post, I want to say that this book is one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s definitely going on my “keeper shelf”, and I’m going to take it out and periodically re-read it. If you’re struggling with finding happiness, I highly encourage you to check it out.

Okay, now to the post…

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What? Don’t take advice? Isn’t that a terrible thing to do?

One of the things mentioned in the book is “Don’t take advice”. Upon first reading that, I thought, “That is crazy. Isn’t advice useful?” But then I thought over the portion of the book where the author mentions people often regretting not following their own path. They get so caught up in living other people’s dreams that they neglect their own. Also, they don’t want to upset others, and as a result, they go along in order to get along with them. At the end of their lives, a lot of people end up wishing they’d had the courage to do their own thing.

For example, I was stuck in this zone for some time. I get feedback on a regular basis from people telling me what I should or shouldn’t write. And up to now, I’ve been following it. This is what is called “writing to market”. I stopped asking myself what I wanted to write. Instead, I took advice on what I should write. What happened? I got to the point where I hated writing. This didn’t happen immediately. It took time. I think it took a total of three years. I was playing it safe. I was doing what would please the most people. And it slowly sucked the joy out of writing for me. The alarming thing is that the process was so slow that I didn’t realize what was going on. That’s the danger of taking advice.

People in our lives mean well. They are looking out for us. I get that. But there are four main problems I see with taking their advice.

1. They aren’t us. They don’t have our unique blend of personalities and experiences.
2. They don’t usually share our goals. What’s important to us might not be important to them.
3. They might be thinking primarily of themselves when giving out advice. A quick example is a parent who wants their kid to live close to home when the kid might be better off taking a job on the other side of the country. The parent is thinking of the convenience of having the kid nearby while the kid might need to be independent. Plus, the kid might love that new job in ways they could never love the job that is nearby.
4. They don’t have to live with the consequences of their advice. No matter what happens, they aren’t on the hook for living with what happens next. They remain observers. They don’t have to pay the price.

There will be critics.

Deep down inside, I think we know what we really want to do. Sometimes we ask for advice because we’re looking for someone to agree with us. This agreement leads to security. As long as you have someone backing up your thoughts, you can better justify what you want to do. It takes courage to go out alone and do something that is contrary to what others are saying. We risk failure. We risk the dreaded, “I told you so” from others. We risk disapproval. We risk ending a relationship that is important to us. There are many things we could lose. That’s why it’s not easy to travel our own path. That’s why it’s easier to follow someone else’s instructions for our lives.

But in the end, will that advice make us happy? If we’re not true to our own selves, can we really be content? Or will we just tell ourselves that we’re happy so that we can cope with the box we trapped ourselves in? Will we ultimately be slowly dying inside because we let fear hold us back?

Life is a series of choices. You have to decide if you’re going to let other people make those choices for you, or if you’re going to make those choices for yourself. Obviously, if you’re married, you will have to take your spouse into consideration with the choices you make. Single people have an advantage in this area. But even if you are married, there are areas of your life where you have freedom to make your own choices. There’s always something you can do to make yourself happier.

Going back to the example I gave above, early this year I made a decision to write my books the way I want to write them. But it’s only in this month (with the help of the material in The Happiness Equation book) that I started actually writing what I wanted. It has not been easy to dig my way out of the “writing to market” mindset. For every step I took forward, it felt like I ended up two steps back. It didn’t help that I suddenly got an onslaught of people expressing how unhappy they were with some aspect of my writing. It was weird how this feedback came all at once, but it did, and these people came from all over the place. I hadn’t ever heard from most of them before.

So when you decide to travel your own path, expect resistance. I think it’s to be expected when we change what we’re doing. I’m sure this will mean that some people will stop reading my books, and I’m okay with that. I see the reviews. I read the emails. I read the blog comments. I read the Facebook comments. I know what advice people are giving me. And I have decided to ignore all of that advice. It wasn’t easy. I’ve had to remove myself from social media quite a bit. I had to sit alone with the stories I’m currently working on. The more I focused on writing what I wanted, the easier it got. Last Friday, for the first time since 2014, I woke up excited about writing. I was having fun. I was happy. I didn’t even want to quit even though I’d been writing for five days straight. I made myself quit because I need to take care of non-writing things in my life. And to be honest, it felt good to quit writing because I HAD to. It’s a major difference from quitting the day’s writing because you finally got a certain word count in after “pulling teeth” all day.

Only we know what’s best for us..and doing that will make us better people to be around.

Sometimes you have to be selfish. I know that’s a hard concept to grasp because from an early age, we’re taught to put other people’s needs before our own. But I think sometimes we have to do what is best for us. Now, I do believe we should be nice to other people. That’s very important. I do believe in the “treat others as you’d have them treat you” motto. It’s just that you can’t please 100% of the people 100% of the time. You need to pick when to say yes and when to say no. It takes wisdom to figure out the balance. If we get away from the noise going on around us, it’s easier to get to that balance. In the end, if we’re doing what we want to do, we’ll be better people to be around. We’ll be empowering ourselves to reach our full potential. When we are fulfilled in what we’re doing, we’ll naturally be pleasant to be around. So really, we’ll be doing our loved ones a favor, even if they don’t realize it. It’s a win-win.

Here’s the book I mentioned above.

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Click the book to go the author’s website.

People Are People No Matter the Time Or the Place

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One thing I’ve learned as I’ve studied various aspects of United States and English history is that human nature has not changed. Sure, the superficial stuff has changed. We drive cars instead of riding a horse to get from point A to point B. We use a toilet inside our home instead of chamber pots or outhouses. And so on.

Modern conveniences have changed the landscape in which we function in society, but the fact of the matter is this: modern conveniences doesn’t wipe out any aspect of human nature. Humans are the same. You can look at any time period and any country, and you’ll find this to be true.

Sure, the society would have its own set of rules. There are certain laws, customs, clothing, music, etc that separates one society (and its specific time period) from another. But if you remove all of those things, you are left with human nature.

And this is why I advise authors who are new to historical writing to embrace the fact that historical time periods are only wallpaper. (Rose Gordon was the first person I heard the term “wallpaper” from when describing how to write historical fiction. I want to give credit where credit is due. I don’t know if she heard it from another place or came up with the term herself.)

Most authors new to historical fiction get caught up in the wallpaper. They want to make sure they’re “historically authentic”. So they focus on what people wore, what type of transportation existed back then, furniture, etc. Now, there’s nothing wrong with doing research and finding out what things were like back then. I do that, and I think you should do it, too. But you don’t want to get stuck there. There’s a temptation to treat historical romance like a history lesson when it’s not supposed to be a lesson. The purpose of historical romance is to tell a good story about the characters. It’s not to impress people with your historical-know-how.

The characters should always be front and center stage of every scene. And I don’t care what we “think” life was like “back then”. The truth is, people were not different from how they are today. Thinking that everyone in the 1800s United States were all church going people who helped others out at a moment’s notice and told the truth at all times just isn’t true. Not everyone went to church, and those who did, didn’t always go to worship God. Thinking that all women waited until their wedding night to have sex isn’t true, either. There are records of men and women marrying in order to avoid out-of-wedlock births (we call these shotgun weddings), and there were women who raised children by themselves. Thinking that women never worked outside the home is also false. The idea that people stay married forever is another myth. Laura Ingalls Wilder had a sister who owned a homestead for a short period of time, and Laura’s daughter got a divorce. Laura also worked at a paper (after her marriage). Her daughter was also a journalist. I learned this when I took a tour of De Smet, South Dakota (which was one of the towns she grew up in). Laura was born in 1867, but people have told me, “No one did X, Y, and Z back then”.

I could go into more examples, but the post is already getting long. Suffice it to say that human nature is not restricted to a neat little box of “this NEVER happened back then” or “this ALWAYS happened back then”. Society might not have approved of certain thing, so those things weren’t common (or at least they weren’t discussed in public). But they did happen.

Regardless of your time period and your location, the human condition is complex. You have your heroes. You have your villains. And to be honest, picking out who the heroes and the villains are is subjective. You can’t be objective if you’re writing fiction because fiction demands you have a hero and a villain (even if that villain is nature, another person, or the hero himself). Every story must have conflict, and conflict depends on villains. Therefore, writers have to pinpoint a good guy and a bad guy.

So while it’s good to some research into the time period you’re doing, I wouldn’t suggest getting so wrapped up in it that you miss what really makes a story compelling, and that element is your main character (or main characters). While you will have an element of readers who obsess over historical details, most readers want an emotional connection with the hero. Therefore, it is my conclusion that the best thing you can do while writing historical fiction is to focus on the characters and the story they have to tell. If you can master the complexities of human nature, the wallpaper will fade away. The wallpaper won’t matter. What will matter is that the story resonated on an emotional level with the reader. And that is what good fiction is supposed to do.

Letting Go of Busy Work does A Lot of Good

I have now officially dissolved the LLC in every way except in one area. This morning, as I filed the final paperwork for closing the LLC in the state I live in, I realized I felt wonderful. I had no idea that carrying around the LLC (something I felt obligated to have since it was the thing “smart” authors did) was weighing me down. Suddenly, writing wasn’t fun. It was a business. And because it was a business, there was the burden of making a certain income to justify what I was doing.

This morning, it occurred to me all of that nonsense is gone. Removing the LLC has been the best thing I could have done to save my creativity. And I decided that from this point forward, if I don’t want to do something, I’m not going to do it. I’m going to do stuff I want to do.

And that brings me to the actual topic of this post:

Sometimes you have to let things go.
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I realize there are some areas in a person’s life that they can’t remove. Obviously, you have to work to put food on the table, you have to pay taxes, you have to take care of a sick child in the middle of the night, you have to keep your house clean, etc. This is just part of the human experience.

But there are things you can remove from your life to make things easier. I don’t know if it’s because I’m now in my forties (so I have some experience under my belt), but a lot of stuff people often do are things they feel obligated to do. They aren’t things they have to do. They’re things others have imposed upon them.

I think we’ve all been there. You know the task ahead of you is optional, but you can’t bring yourself to say no because someone else expects you to do it, and you’re afraid if you don’t do it, then the person will get upset with you. Sometimes you do things to keep the peace. The older I get, the less inclined I am to keep doing those activities. I think as you get older, you realize your time is getting more and more precious because people only live for so long. The older you get, the less years you’re likely to have. So you start to choose your activities more carefully.

This is why I decided to only write stories I’m most excited about writing. This is why I’m cutting back on how many books I write at a time so I have time to do other things I love (such as walking 45-60 minutes 5 days a week) and spending time with my husband and kids. This is why I cut the email list. This is why I cut the LLC. I no longer have time for the hamster wheel that is a “successful” author’s life. I’m tired of chasing after marketing schemes that usually don’t yield more sales. Most of the time, they only end up wasting time.

Remember in school when your teacher handed you assignments to fill out that was busy work? You knew there wasn’t a point to the assignments. You could tell the difference between working on something that advanced your education and something that didn’t. In real life, we end up filling our days with the same kind of busy work. They’re really distractions. They don’t move you toward your goals. But they seem so urgent at the moment that we put stuff that do advance our goals further down the list. Then by the time we can get to those activities that get us closer to our goals, we’re usually too exhausted for the day. We tell ourselves, we’ll do those things tomorrow. If we’re not careful, tomorrow gets sucked up in busy work, too.

I’m looking at everything I’m doing and asking myself, “Is this busy work? Or is this going to get me closer to my goals?”

The email list, to be honest, was busy work. I was spending one week working on a special epilogue to go with each new release, and I was making this exclusive to my email list or people in my closed Facebook group. Well, after having this email list since 2015, I realized that over the years, more people were unsubscribing than they were subscribing. Also, less and less people were even opening the email to read the 1500-2500 words I spent agonizing over for a week. The reason is was so hard for me to write those scenes is because the book was done. When the book is done, I can’t think of anything to add to it. It was busy work. Very few people were interested. So why was I spending so much time doing something I dreaded?

This is the kind of busy work that needs to be removed from our lives. Life is short. Why make yourself miserable doing something because you feel like you have to do it? If the activity is optional, let it go. Spend that time doing something you enjoy.

In case you think letting go of this stuff is easy, it’s not. It’s hard. I’ve been wanting to get rid of the email list and my LLC for two years, but I was afraid to do it because I was going to let someone down. So I kept pushing myself to go on, and in the end, I started to dread what was coming. I was frustrated. Sometimes I was angry at myself for not having the courage to say no, but mostly, I was frustrated.

By letting go of things that aren’t working, I found a new sense of freedom. And in the freedom is a huge sense of relief. I’m no longer on the hook to do busy work. I can spend that time doing something I love instead. It’s amazing what a difference this has been making.

Now, I don’t know what your “busy work” is, but I know it won’t be easy to give it up. It’s taking me two years to finally give mine up. The first step is the realizing this thing isn’t working for you. Then you have to let the process work itself out because I do believe this is a process. I don’t think anyone can snap their fingers and just walk away from something that has become a habit. I heard once that success is not a straight line. It’s a lot of twists and turns. It’s a process.

I also think the more tuned into other people’s feelings you are, the harder it is to do. I’m very conscious of other people’s emotions. I hate to upset anyone. And this has made it harder to make certain decisions along the way. You have to fight the urge to feel guilty for not meeting someone’s expectations. But I guess you have to look at it this way: if you can’t give 100% of yourself to something, then are you really doing other people a favor? I mean, I could keep writing those special scenes, but if I hate doing them, that will reflect in the work. And in the end, the lack of quality is going to disappoint people anyway.

For a personal experience, my deaf kid wanted to stay after school to do some activities with his peers, but that would require me to drive down to pick him up every day. That totaled about one hour five days a week, and I would have to pick him up around 5:30. I get up at 4 in the morning so that I can get ready for the day. I like having an hour in the morning to be shower and then spend time in silence to get mentally ready for the day. After that, it’s hectic around the house. I have four kids and a husband. Getting everyone ready for school and work is a lot of work. I like to wind down at night, and I like to be in bed between 5:30-6. I don’t go to sleep right away, but I have found this wind down time goes a long way to renewing my energy and getting a solid, good night’s sleep. I’m an introvert, and introverts lose energy when they’re around people. They need time alone to build the energy back up. This makes me much more productive during the day. I’m also a much happier person to be around. So I had to say no to picking up the kid after school every day. Instead, I compromised on picking him up two days a week. I can manage that. But doing it five days would have exhausted me.

So that’s what I mean by busy work and cutting it from your life. Obviously, you can’t get rid of everything you don’t like doing, but there are some areas that you can release. Letting those things go has a surprising way of making life more positive. I don’t know if anyone found this motivational, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to write the post.

Quitting the Email List

In dissolving the LLC, I am going to have to go through every book and take out the LLC information from the interior file. (The covers will stay the same.) Anyway, I have 85 books (some under a pen name) to go through. At the end of most of my books is a link to sign-up form to my email list.

I’ve been doing this list since 2015, and to be honest, I’m burned out from it. I have wanted to get rid of it for about a year. Getting rid of the LLC is proving to be a time when I can start fresh. So this is one of the things I’m going to leave in the past. Therefore, I’m removing the sign-up to my email list information at the end of my books.

I still plan to be online. I’ll still make posts in this blog since I continue to get enjoyment from it.

There are also other places you can find me if you wish.

I’m on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ruthannnordin

I have a Facebook group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/830058207023257/

I have a Facebook Author Page at: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorRuthAnnNordin/

I’m on MeWe: https://mewe.com/profile/5bc60c4da5f4e53ee03fafed

I’m on Twitter: @authornordin

I have also have a blog that gives monthly updates on what I’m doing: https://ruthannnordinnewsletter.com

I’m most active on Facebook and this blog. I plan to spend more time on MeWe once I get all of my books updated and re-published.

This transition is going to take a couple of months. I have to go through 85 books and see what needs updating. Then I have to republish the updated versions on Amazon, Google Play, and Smashwords (which will deliver them to B&N, Kobo, Apple, and smaller retailers Smashwords is affiliated with). This is going to be a long and slow process. I can’t do it all at once.

Please be patient with me.

External Vs. Internal Rewards

I finally made the decision to close my business. I’m not sure how many of you are aware of LLCs, but years ago, I was told an LLC was a good idea for a writer. For possible tax savings, it can be, but you have to make a certain amount in order for it to make sense. If any writers out there have questions about LLCs, feel free to ask. I set mine up in 2013 and am now dissolving (aka closing) it. So I can answer some questions about this.

Overall, I found the LLC to be more of a pain than it was worth. I was set up as an LLC but was taxed as an S-Corporation, which meant I had to run payroll. I hired out for payroll. And I have an accountant who works with small businesses. I plan to keep the accountant. There’s no way I want to deal with filing my own taxes. I’m not that type of person. All I really want to do is write.

Anyway, for the next couple of weeks, I’ll be running all over the place getting things wrapped up with the LLC, so I’m not sure how much I can come over here. I’m also participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The goal of NaNoWriMo is to reach 50,000 words during the month. It’s a fun challenge, and right now, I want to use the spare time I’ll have to do something fun with my time.

I’m looking forward to getting out of the LLC. Something happens when a writer starts thinking of writing as a business. The focus gets off of the internal reward for writing. Instead, the focus goes to external rewards. I’ve learned internal rewards are not compatible with external rewards.

Internal rewards come from the satisfaction of doing something you love. It is not reliant on any other factors. It is writing for the sake of writing. It is the only thing under a writer’s control. External rewards depend on factors outside of a writer’s control. It is about awards, making bestselling lists, sales, and money. It all depends on what others do.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about the difference between internal and external rewards, and I’ve decided I’d rather have the internal kind. It is HARD to get back into the mindset of writing for that internal reward that came so easily to me in the past because as soon as I realized external rewards existed, I felt like I had to earn a certain amount of money in order to be “somebody” in the writing community.

Suddenly, it was about proving myself to other writers because no one really cares about what a writer has to say unless the writer has proved him/herself through income, a bestseller’s list, and/or an award. That’s why those things matter so much to a lot of writers. The LLC only reminds me of that. It forces me into the mindset of being a “business”. I’m sure it doesn’t do that to all writers, but it did it to me because I had to worry about making a certain amount of money in order to keep running the LLC.

I want to be happy. I’ve been reading a book about being happy, and as simple as this sounds, the author is right: I have to be happy first. And in order to be happy, it’s important to be content with what I already have. When I look at my life, I realize I have it good. All of my needs are met. I’m fortunate. Looking at what I don’t have is exhausting, and it drains me of my passion for writing.

This is why I think writing to market is doomed to fail in the longterm. I’ve heard writers say they’re happy writing to market since the money is so good, but money is an external reward. In the end, I don’t see how it can satisfy, and I also don’t see how a writer is going to be satisfied with their books if they write it for other people. (Another external reward is approval from others. This can come in the form of praise, sales, or awards.) What I’ve discovered over the past few years of chasing external rewards is that there is no amount that is enough. There’s always more to gain. And that only frustrated me. It didn’t make me happy. I actually began to hate writing, and there were a few times when I thought I never wanted to write another word again. That scared me. And then I wanted to cry because, deep down, I knew I wanted to write. I had just lost my way. I had lost my joy.

The writers who have embraced writing for internal rewards are happy. I’ve come across them, and you can tell they’re happy by the way they talk. Also, their stories have a passion in them that comes through their writing. You can tell they put their hearts into the stories, and you can tell they had fun while writing them. They started self-publishing when I did, and they’re still writing with the same enthusiasm they used to.

I know this isn’t something that the world embraces. The world is geared toward external rewards. People are praised, admired, and respected for external rewards. Does that mean a writer who focuses on internal rewards can’t make money with their books? No. I learned long ago to never say “never”, but the writer isn’t going to be happy if money is the goal. Money is a gift, and it should be appreciated. But it shouldn’t be the goal. Once it becomes the goal, it taints the way a writer views writing.

External rewards taints the way you do anything. In the final analysis, internal rewards gives you longterm fulfillment and joy.

If you’re curious about the book I’m reading, here’s a link to the site where you can find more information about it. If you’re struggling with being fulfilled (like I am), I recommend it. This is one of those books you’ll want to read more than once, and I do think it takes time to let the lessons really sink in. The author did address the difference between internal and external rewards. (This was under the section about success.) Anyway, it was while I was reading that passage in the DMV line that things fell into place for me, which is why I focused on that specific principle in this blog post. (For those who might not know, DMV stands for Department of Motor Vehicles. The line can be long and slow. It’s worth taking a book if you ever have to go there.)

For Those of You Who Want Clean Romances, Here Are Some Authors You Might Enjoy

I’m going to send you to a couple of romance authors I personally know who write clean romances. These are fine Christian romance authors who are super sweet people.

Historical western romances:

Check out Janet Syas Nitsick.

I actually do have one historical romance that is clean. It’s Romancing Adrienne, and it can be found on this page. (It’s Book 4 in the series.) Just link to the retailer you’re interested in.

For contemporary romances:

Check out Catherine Lynn.

Check out Kristy K. James.

Check out Dorothy Paula.

I do have one clean contemporary romance that I wrote in an anthology under the pen name Barbara Joan Russell. It can be found on this page. Look for the book titled Bride by Design. Click the link to where you want to buy it.

For historical or contemporary:

Kristen Osbourne has some clean historicals and contemporary romances. Read the descriptions to make sure they’re clean.

Also, It’s my understanding that Catherine Lynn and Kristy K. James are looking into writing some historicals. (I just checked, and Kristy does have a historical already out.)

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That all said…

I am going to keep putting sex into my romances. I don’t write clean romances because there are SO MANY already out there. There’s more supply than there is demand. You can go to any retailer right now and find a ton of them. You’ll never run out of clean romances to read. Seriously, you won’t.

However, there are very few romances available where the author has made this promise about every single book: the hero and heroine do not have sex with each other until after marriage. I can find an author who does this setup for a few books, but then they have other books where the hero and heroine have sex before marriage. So I never know what I’m getting when I pick up that author’s book.

But I do make that promise about my books, and I am going to keep true to that promise. The only two other authors I know of who are doing this are Rose Gordon and Carolyn Davidson. I am helping to fill a void that exists in the romance market. This is the beauty of self-publishing. I get to write books that very few others are doing.

And some people have told me they’re glad I write sex within marriage. Believe me, no one was more surprised than I was when I found out I wasn’t the only romance reader who got frustrated in searching for an author who kept sex within marriage for every single book they wrote. I thought I was the only romance reader alive who wanted the hero and heroine to wait until marriage to have sex. The reason I started writing romances was because I couldn’t find the kind of romances I was looking for.

I also wanted more virgin heroes. Man, I can’t tell you how tired I was of finding so many sexually experienced heroes in romances. Like magic, he falls in love with the heroine and changes his ways. Never mind the other women he had gone through in the past. It’s like those women never mattered. And that always bothered me. That’s why if I do have a hero who isn’t a virgin AND isn’t a widower or was forced into a divorce, I make sure to show that the hero’s past sexual pursuits weren’t fun. I give him guilt. He has to realize he used those women for his own selfish pleasure. It was never love. It was lust. I don’t see how any man can use women and feel good about himself in the long run, at least not if he has a conscience.

I’m going to keep putting sex into my books, and I will keep describing the act. In a good marriage, the act of lovemaking brings the couple closer together. That’s all I do in my books when I include sex scenes. I’m showing how they grow closer together. I have a lot of respect for the sex act. I find it beautiful and pure. And that’s how I see it when I write about it.

I understand not everyone will agree with me. And that’s why I listed the authors above. Please, if you’re looking for clean romances, check them out. If you want clean romances, I’m not the author for you. If you pick up another one of my books, you’ll be disappointed, and I want to save you that disappointment.

From now on, if someone asks me about writing clean romances, I’ll just point them to the authors I mentioned above.

Signs of a Heart Attack in Women

I had a request to write on this topic, and I’m finally getting around to it. I’ve never been through this, so I’m not an expert. I have to take what I learned from the internet and from what someone told me her experience was like.

From what I learned, it is hard to tell if a woman is having a heart attack. It seems that the signs are easier to recognize when it happens to men, although my husband’s co-worker went home a month ago complaining about a pain in his arm and died that night from a heart attack. He didn’t think he was having a heart attack, and no one else did, either.

In a nutshell, here is what to watch for:

Unexpected Fatigue that leaves you with no energy at all. They say you have trouble even walking to the bathroom.
Shortness of breath while at rest.
Sweating while at rest.
Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling as if you can’t catch your breath.
Upset stomach; sometimes vomiting.
It feels as if an elephant is sitting on your chest.
Heartburn that doesn’t go away with something like Tums or sitting up.
Pain in neck, upper arms, and/or jaw.
Heartbeat gets unexpectedly fast.
Chest pain.

From what I gathered, this stuff can go on for weeks or months before the actual heart attack hits full force, and women don’t experience all of these symptoms. So it’s no wonder that this is a very hard thing to figure out. I honestly don’t know how a woman is supposed to know if they’re having a heart attack. The woman I know who had one said that she had heartburn that went on and on even though she took Tums. She said she couldn’t sleep since it was so bad.

My concern is that if you’re having one or two of the symptoms listed above, will it be obvious to a doctor if you go in and mention having those symptoms? My mother-in-law had an eruption in her intestine and the doctors kept saying it was a stomach bug. She almost died because they couldn’t figure out that was going on. Now, I can’t really blame doctors for not figuring that out. She had stomach bug symptoms. Doctors do their best to provide quality care and try to get things right. But we are all human.

So given the list for all of the symptoms that can signal a heart attack in women, I don’t know how a woman is supposed to figure out what is really going on when any of these symptoms can pop up so often over the course of our lifetime.

I guess the extreme fatigue and shortness of breath or sudden burst of sweating would signal something to me that I need to sit up and pay attention, but I’ve had all of the other things happen at one time or another in the course of my lifetime. Also, I’ve been battling a sensitive stomach since I was in my early 20s.

From all of this, I’m thinking a heart attack is probably one of the most difficult things to pin down. Maybe the main thing is that the symptoms linger for longer than normal. Maybe it’s that things are getting worse instead of better. Or maybe we have to rely on the gut instinct that tells us something is seriously wrong.

What about you? Have you come across anyone who’s had a heart attack? What were the symptoms?

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Here are the resources I’m pulled together for this post:

Important Heart Attack Red Flags For Women You Should Recognize

Women: Don’t Ignore These 3 Subtle Heart Attack Symptoms

6 Symptoms of Women’s Heart Attacks

 

October 2018 Newsletter

I’m sorry I’m late in writing this post this month. I’m not going to have anything out until January. For those who already know, I won’t go over the details again, but for those who don’t know, I had to go through adjust my entire writing schedule. I’m done with trying to hurry up and get another book out. The rat race isn’t for me. I’m slowing down my schedule.

So with that stated, I’ll proceed with what I’m currently working on.

One Enchanted Evening is still being edited.

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Marriage by Fairytale Series

Book 1: The Marriage Contract
Book 2: One Enchanted Evening
Book 3: The Wedding Pact
(more may or may not be coming)

I decided to push back the release date on this book to January 6. I’ve decided from now on, I’m not going to put anything out from October to December. These months are centered on different holidays (at least they are in the United States where I live), so I’d rather people focus on their family and friends during this time.

The Imperfect Husband (Book 4) is a little over halfway done.

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Misled Mail Order Brides Series

Book 1: The Bride Price
Book 2: The Rejected Groom
Book 3: The Perfect Wife
Book 4: The Imperfect Husband

I had to slow down in this one in order to figure out how to best resolve the issues between Tony and Mark that were started in Book 2 (The Rejected Groom). I have rewritten portions of these scenes as the book progresses because there are things that pop up that I need to go back and adjust. With the exception of The Rejected Groom, every book in this series has been difficult to write. I have books that pop up like that from time to time, but it’s rare it happens with almost the entire series. Wagon Trail Bride (one of my favorites) was so difficult to write, it took me a couple of years to finally get it done. Some books are just harder to write than others. Those are best put off until the time is right.

Shane’s Deal is nearing the halfway point.

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Montana Collection

Book 1: Mitch’s Win
Book 2: Boaz’s Wager
Book 3: Patty’s Gamble
Book 4: Shane’s Deal

This was supposed to be a novella. I originally planned on making this a 20,000 to 30,000 word book. I’m at 26,000 words, and there’s a lot more to go. So it’s going to be a full-length novel. This one will go to my publisher when it’s done.

Kidnapping the Viscount is about 1/3 of the way done.

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Marriage by Fate Series

Book 1: The Reclusive Earl
Book 2: Married In Haste
Book 3: Make Believe Bride
Book 4: The Perfect Duke
Book 5: Kidnapping the Viscount

I’m at the point where the heroine has successfully kidnapped the hero. He helped her with it, though she doesn’t realize it. At its core, this is a comedy.

I have a Young Adult Thriller I’m working on under a pen name.

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Since some people have expressed an interest in it, I’ll mention it here. I’m about 80% of the way into it. This is going to be around 35,000 words, which makes it a novella. I can’t seem to make a novella from a romance, but I can manage it for a YA Thriller.

This particular book is about a teen girl who witnessed the murder of her classmate, and now the killer is out to get her. I’ll post more information later.

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That’s all for now. I hope everyone has a great October!