Ruth Ann Nordin's Blog, page 103

Just for Fun: Regency Do’s and Don’ts at Dinner and Balls (A You Tube Video I Found)

You have to start this a minute in, but this is hilarious.  I thought some of you might get a chuckle out of it, so I’m passing it on.  :D

Will You Vote on a Cover For My Friend?

Stephannie Beman is having trouble deciding on which cover to go with.  Will you be willing to vote on which cover attracts you most?  Thanks in advance!

Cover 1

Cover 2

Cover 3

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Dave Larson is at the Witness Stand

Rick: Tom, who’s your next witness?

Tom: Dave Larson.

Dave: *goes to the witness stand and sits down*

Tom: Dave, tell us your side of the story.

Dave: There’s not much to tell except my side of things have been totally warped by everyone.

Tom: How so?

Dave: This whole thing started because I was a concerned parent.  I love my children, and I want what’s best for them.

Tom: What does this have to do with Ruth?

Dave: I’m getting to that.  You see, while she was writing Isaac’s Decision, it broke my heart.  I mean, how would you feel if  your kid was going to marry someone you thought wasn’t good for them.  What parent is going to sit idly by and let their child make a huge mistake?  So I intervened and tried to offer Ruth alternative endings to her book.  I don’t know why that is such a crime.

Tom: It’s not a crime to do that.

Dave: Exactly.  Then Ruth made fun of me by mocking my attempts at writing and saying I gave myself 5-star reviews while she gave me 1-star reviews.  Then I had to be the perfect character in To Have and To Hold, and I did my part.  But Ruth made a spectacle of me.  I was the laughing stock of this blog.

Tom: How so?

Dave: I merely wanted to caution her readers that she might be a bad author because she doesn’t listen to her characters.  If she’s not listening to me, then there are going to be others she won’t listen to in the future.  I was trying to prevent what happened to me happen to other characters.  I thought if her readers banned her books until she changed her ways, then she’d listen to all of us and give us an equal say.  We are her characters, after all.  Don’t we deserve to have a say in what happens in our books?

Tom: But the ban didn’t work?

Dave: No.  She made it sound like I was a joke.  Everyone was laughing at me.

Tom: It hurt, didn’t it?

Dave: *shrugs* Well, I was thinking it was more annoying than hurt.  I didn’t cry or anything.

Tom: So when banning the books didn’t work, you created the union?

Dave: Yes.  I thought if I couldn’t convince her readers to demand better treatment for her characters, then I could get other characters to join me.

Tom: And that didn’t work.

Dave: No, it didn’t.  Except for that immodestly dressed woman from the environmental group and her weird friends, no one was interested.  None of those characters would have helped.  I needed Ruth’s characters to stand with me and demand our rights.

Tom: But it didn’t work.

Dave: *looks pointedly at him* No, it didn’t, and you were one of the characters who supported Ruth during that time.

Tom: Objection, your honor.

Rick: How can you object?  This is your client.

Tom: My involvement in the union has nothing to do with this case.

Rick: Don’t you mean ‘your lack of involvement’?

Tom: *thinks for a moment* Yeah, I guess so.  Lack means I didn’t participate, right?

Rick: Objection sustained.  Move on with the questioning.

Tom: *turns to Dave* So in desperation, you faked your kidnapping?

Dave: It was all I could think of.  I could have kept doing the same things I did before, but there’s a saying that goes, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” I had to do something different.  It was all I could think of to help people understand the seriousness of the situation.

Tom: Thank you, Dave.  I have nothing else to ask.

Joel: *stands up and approaches Dave* So, you think this whole trial is pointless?

Dave: Yes.  It’s a waste of time.

Joel: Some might argue that you faking your own kidnapping is a waste of time.

Dave: Desperate men do desperate things.

Joel: So, you’re feeling desperate?

Dave: That picture isn’t me.

Joel: It’s not you but it represents your thinking process during the whole time you’ve been giving Ruth grief.

Dave: There’s nothing wrong with my thinking process, Joel.  Some day, Ruth will take your children and write a story about them.  What if she makes one of your children  a bandit who goes around robbing banks or a cold-blooded killer?

Joel: You can’t compare Isaac marrying Emily to a criminal.

Dave: I’m using an example to show you the depth of my pain.  Not that I cried or anything.

Joel: *rolls eyes* Sure, Dave.

Dave: I didn’t.

Joel: Whatever.  *holds his hand up before Dave can speak* Under oath to tell the truth, can you honestly say that Isaac is miserable right now?

Dave: That’s not the point.

Joel: It is the point.  The truth is that even if you didn’t cry *coughs* yeah right *coughs*, Ruth gave Isaac a happy ending because Emily turned out to be good for him.

Dave: It isn’t the point at all.  The point is that Ruth didn’t even listen to my concerns.  She made all these posts where people laughed at me.

Joel: Do we need our teddy bear, Dave?

Dave: What?  Teddy bears weren’t even around in the 1800s.

Joel: It’s an expression, Dave.  It means that even if  you’re a grown man with a family of your own, you still need to be protected from a few laughs.  You’re sensitive.  Your emotions get hurt easily.

Dave: That’s not true!

Joel: Oh, isn’t it?  I propose that the reason why you faked your own kidnapping — after Mary the mastermind thought up the clever scheme — was so you could run off and pout with your teddy bear.

Dave: No, it wasn’t.  I did it to make a point!

Joel: Yes, you did!  And now we all know when things don’t go your way, you act like a kid having a temper tantrum.

Dave: *motions to Tom* Aren’t you going to object?

Tom: To what?

Dave: Really?  You have to ask?

Tom: Well, you have been throwing temper tantrums on this blog and acting like it’s all about you.

Dave: *huffs and turns to Rick* Your honor, I want to represent myself for the rest of the case.

Joel: There’s no need, Dave.  I believe I just proved my point.  When things don’t go exactly as you want them, you get demanding like a little kid.  No more questions, your honor.

Behind the Scenes: A Writer’s Frustration (Not Enough Time To Write Everything She Wants To)

My problem is that I have too many ideas and not nearly enough time to write everything.  I was hoping to get eight books out this year, but it looks like I’ll only have seven, maybe even six.

I get why writers hire ghostwriters.  They have a ton of ideas in their heads and not enough time to write them all.  Today I was watching the movie “Mirror, Mirror”.  I don’t know if anyone saw it, but I rented it because it looked like it would be a fresh take off of “Snow White”.  I don’t know why, but I thought it would end up with the queen turning into the good guy.  Then I thought, “I’d love to write a book where the queen was misunderstood and ended up with the prince who was older than he was in the Disney movie.” Then I came back to reality and reminded myself that I can’t write this story because I’m already booked up on more story ideas than I’ll ever write.

I’d love to write everything that’s up in my head.  I really would.  But 80% of my ideas end up in the “never” pile because there’s not enough time in the day, and even though I write as fast as I can while trying to make each story the best it can be, I know I’ll never get to write everything I want.  So I have to pick and choose, which isn’t easy but necessary.

*sigh*  It’s so frustrating.  I just know that idea for a different viewpoint on Snow White could be a great story.

And yes, I know I need to make a post where Dave Larson gets on the witness stand, but my mind is blank so I have no idea on how to handle it.  I keep hoping inspiration will strike, but so far I can’t get anywhere.  I’m tempted to have him take the 5th and not say anything on the witness stand.  Is that a tacky way out?

Okay.  I’m going to see if I can get anything written.  Today hasn’t been a good one at all for creativity, minus the idea for a twist on Snow White.  LOL

It’s Cover 2

Thanks for voting!  The choice was overwhelmingly in favor of cover 2 as it is.  So I’m keeping it and replacing Mitch’s name with Clayton’s.    I appreciate all the feedback because it helped a lot.  Also, since some people wanted to see a bride in the background, I’m thinking of doing that for a future cover: maybe a mail-order bride one.

Here’s the new cover:

Now I can get to the task of rewriting parts of it to fit the Nebraska world. 

Need Your Input on a Cover

I decided to change the name Mitch to Clayton.  Clayton is Isaac Larson’s friend, and when I wrote Isaac’s Decision, I made a hint that Clayton was interested in someone but he didn’t say who.  Remember that scene where Emily is dressed like a man and hunting with the guys and she’s trying to find out if Isaac liked the teacher or not?  During that time, she found out Wiley liked her (and I do have a story planned for him), but Clayton said he wasn’t interested in anyone and Emily suspected he did but didn’t want to say.

Well, I’m going to modify Mitch’s Win, and Clayton, so it’ll be Clayton’s Win.  The story will take place a few years after Isaac’s Decision.  So the set up will be the same: Clayton will go in to the saloon to get his younger brother, Boaz, out of trouble, and while he’s there, he realizes a young woman is part of the bet.  He gets married to her and there’s still the trouble with Boaz who is having trouble cleaning up his life after his wife died in childbirth.  There’s more to the book than that, but Boaz is a part of it because I want to give Boaz his own story.

I had decided early on that Boaz would move to Nebraska to start a new life and end up with one of Dave and Mary’s daughters.  Well, this will make Boaz’s story much easier to do since he’s already in Nebraska.  I plan to match him up with Rachel Larson (Dave and Mary’s oldest daughter) who is also friends with Emily Craftsman.  So they can meet through Emily, the matchmaker.  I’m thinking Emily will continue to have a trick or two up her sleeve when it comes to the future Nebraska books.

Okay.  So all of that background aside, I am trying to decide which cover might go best with the Nebraska books.  I still have the title as Mitch’s Win at the moment, but I would switch it to Clayton’s Win.  So any thoughts on which cover you’d rather see for Clayton’s book?  Which cover says, “Read me!”

Option 1

Option 2

Edited to add: I can put a bride in the background for cover 2 as long as I find one that works with the lighting and colors.  I find the colors to be the hardest part when putting one picture into another one.  I like them to blend well together.  :D

Please Vote!

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Thinking of Making Mitch’s Win a Nebraska Book, Her Counterfeit Husband is Halfway Done, and I Will Try to Have Bound by Honor Bound by Love Out By Late Summer/Early Fall

For the past week, I’ve been wondering if Mitch’s Win is even worth finishing.  Why?  Because if I don’t write a book that is related to the Nebraska world, chances are, it won’t gather enough interest from people to make it worth the time and effort to write it.  That’s why I’m trying to figure out what books people prefer and write more of those.   Most people are interested in the Larson books and the Regency I just wrote.  The sad reality is that I can’t just write whatever I want to write.  My time is limited.  I push myself hard to write six or more books a year, and when I say “push”, I mean that I stick to a pretty rigid schedule and lose sleep to make it happen.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love what I’m doing, but it is hard work.  Since I can only write 6-8 full-length novels a year (and since no one cares for my short stories or novellas because they’re too short), I have to decide which ideas get written and which don’t.  This isn’t easy.  I probably have 50 ideas in my mind (some of which are in the thriller, sci-fi/conspiracy theme like Return of the Aliens, nonfiction, fantasy realm).  So it’s not all romance novels up in my head.  But I will never get to write the books that most people want (and I judge this by sales because it’s my report card as a writer).  My job as a writer to write books that most people want to read, so when I look at the sales report, I’m looking at what books people are voting for.  Little sales = no interest; many sales = interest.  And I can’t control what most people are interested in or not.

So the focus will have to be on writing more Nebraska books (and since I have plans to write at least 30 more Nebraska books in that collection and since new ideas come to me all the time, even if I did 3-4 Nebraska books a year, I’ll probably never write them all).  I also came to realize a lot of people want to read my Regencies, more than I thought there’d be.  So that tells me I need to write more Regencies.  Regencies will have to be another area I focus on.

That is why Mitch’s Win will have to be tweaked on and placed into the Nebraska Collection.  I also want it the subplot with the brother to stick, so I am going to change Mitch’s name so he’s one of Isaac’s friends.  I can’t remember the names off the top of my head (sadly), but one of them will work.  Then Mitch’s brother (Boaz) can end up with one of Mary and Dave’s girls, which had been my plan all along anyway.  And the idea for Patty’s Gamble can be transferred to maybe Neil and Sarah’s daughter, Elizabeth (which I think will be named Lizzie for a nickname.)  Hey, all of Neil’s daughters were pretty strong-willed when it came to getting their men, and Neil’s sneaky enough to go along with his daughter’s plan in order to make her happy.  Neil might have been reformed, but there’s a sly streak in him where he’s be part of a scheme.  Dave Larson, by the way, would not be so devious so it has to be Neil’s daughter.  ;)  The new title of this book will be “Lizzie’s Gamble”.

I’m already halfway through Her Counterfeit Husband, which I’m glad I’m writing because that story has been in my head for two years and it’s one of my favorite storylines.  It would just haven’t worked as a historical western.  The hero’s title is much too important.  That story was originally set in a fantasy world where the kingdom was in threat of being taken over by another kingdom in the midst of a battle.  In Her Counterfeit Husband, I modified things so that it’s the heroine’s brother-in-law who threatened to take over by becoming the next duke when her husband died.  So it’s not the exact same story I had before, but the core elements are the same, if that makes sense.

 

As for Bound by Honor, Bound by Love, that will finish up the Native American Romances, and I am steadily working on it.  I’m not really sure where it’s heading.  I mean, I have the final scene in my mind, but the stuff that happens until then is like navigating in the fog.  This doesn’t usually happen to me when I write a book.  Usually, the course is clear, and I know what I’m going to write next.  With this one, it’s like wandering through uncharted territory with no guide.  But it is coming.  I saw that I put all over the place that it’s due out this summer.   I will try to make it toward the end of summer/early fall but no promises.  I’d rather be late on a story and make it good than be on time and have the story suck.

While I focus on writing Her Counterfeit Husband and Bound by Honor, Bound by Love, I am putting Mitch’s Win on hold.  At this point, I’m not going to write another book.  But when I finish Her Counterfeit Husband, I want to start on Lord Edon’s book because I’ve been wanting to do the rake who really isn’t a rake idea for a while now.

Mary Larson is at the Witness Stand

Rick: Joel, is there anyone else you want to bring up to the witness stand?

Joel: No, your honor.

Rick: Tom, who is  your first witness?

Tom: I want to call Mary Larson to the stand.

Mary: *goes up to the stand and sits down*

Tom: It goes without saying that this whole ordeal has been hard on you and the children, especially since you’re in the family way.

Mary: It’s no secret I didn’t like the fact that a tree nymph wanted to join Dave’s union.  There’s only one reason a nymph would do such a thing, and unlike my naive husband, I know what that reason is.

Tom: I don’t think anyone here will argue that it’s your right to defend yourself and your children against a woman of loose morals.

Mary: She’s not as innocent as she claims.  I don’t think she even knows how to read.  She probably saw Dave’s picture and wanted to use him for her…  *shifts uncomfortably in the chair* Well, being a woman in the 1800s, I won’t say the exact words.

Tom: I think we all know what you’re thinking, and I, for one, agree.  Kyala was up to no good.

Joel: Objection, your honor!

Tom: On what grounds?

Rick: I can speak for myself, Tom. *looks at Joel* On what grounds?

Joel: We can’t say for sure what Kyala’s motives were.

Rick: Objection denied.  It doesn’t matter what Kyala’s motives were.  What matters is why Mary did what she did.  Continue, Tom.

Tom: Really?

Rick: Well, you are the one questioning Mary right now.

Tom: No, I mean, you’re actually telling Joel his objection doesn’t stand and that I have a good point?

Rick: *sighs* Can we please get on with the case?  I’d like to be done with this before July 1.  At the rate it’s going, we’ll be here until Christmas.

Tom: Besides the threat you felt Kyala posed, you also worried about something else, didn’t you?

Mary: Yes.  I worried that Dave’s persistence was going to bother Ruth until she dropped the Nebraska series.  As Sally said, I didn’t think Dave was helping the situation.  While his fierce determination to stick with something he believes in is one thing I love most about him, in this case, it worked against him.

Tom: So what you did was meant to help Ruth, not hurt her.

Mary: Yes, but I also wanted to help Dave.  Ruth plans to write another book about us and then about our children.  Dave has as much to lose as the rest of us do.

Tom: That’s all I have to say, your honor.  *sits down*

Rick: Joel, do you have anything you wish to say?

Joel: *stands up and approaches Mary* Yes, I do.  Mary, do you honestly think Dave would ever cheat on you?

Mary: No, of course not.  He’s as loyal as a man can be.

Joel: So why were you so threatened by Kyala that you demanded Dave follow your sinister plan to kidnap him?  You gave him no room for argument as you used your womanly wiles on him.

Mary: *gasp* I don’t look anything like that!

Tom: Objection, your honor!  Not only is that picture grossly modern, but it taints Mary’s gentle nature.

Rick: Objection sustained.

Joel: On what grounds?  I’ve just established that Mary doesn’t believe Dave would have run off to a tree with Kyala.  It makes her testimony questionable.

Rick: First of all, “womanly wiles” suggests that she was using her sex appeal on Dave, not going psycho on him.  Second, I can’t allow a picture that modern in this courtroom.  A laptop and cell phone, okay.  But the rollers, sunglasses, modern kitchen….  It’s too much.  And third, that is the ugliest shade of green I’ve ever seen.  Remove the picture at once.

Joel: *groans but obeys*  Fine, but let it stand that Mary didn’t believe Kyala was the threat she just claimed.

Mary: Kyala was a threat.  Even if the man is faithful, it’s still unpleasant for the wife to sit idly by and watch a young, beautiful woman sporting off her hourglass figure in front of him.  No wife wants that.

Joel: So why didn’t you kidnap her or ship her off to some Greek island somewhere?

Mary: Because given the nature of her personality, I figured if I put up a resistance, then she’d want Dave even more.  Women set on sleeping with married men find the challenge much more appealing if the wives fight them.  By simply removing Dave from the spotlight, I figure an airhead like Kyala would get bored and move on.  And she did.  She was flirting with Joseph Connealy and Owen Russell.  She’ll sleep with anyone.

Joel: Let’s say your theory was correct and that you had to kidnap Dave to get rid of her.  How did you talk Dave into it?

Mary: *blushes* I’d rather not say.

Joel: Then the picture of the rolling pin, tacky sunglasses, appalling apron, and modern kitchen stands.  I’m putting it back up.

Rick: Don’t you dare.  No one wants to go blind looking at it a second time.  Joel, I think it’s safe to say that Mary used her womanly wiles to convince Dave to fake his own kidnapping.  Hence why her face is as bright as a tomato.

Joel: Even so, I think it should be noted that Dave wasn’t smart enough to come up with the scheme himself.  Mary is still part of the blame for causing Ruth much anguish while she searched all over Dave and Mary’s property to clear her good name.  No more questions, your honor.  *looks at Dave and mutters* It’s so sad when the wife has to do her husband’s thinking for him.

Updates

Well, it’s summer, and I’ve been taking the kids to the zoo and to a water park a lot.  We’ve seen a couple of IMAX movies, which I admit is pretty cool, but I need to remember to sit toward the back of the theatre.  I don’t know if anyone’s been to the Omaha zoo, but it’s amazing.  They put you right in the environment where the animals are found.  For example, they have the Desert Dome.  Above, there is the sand and creatures common to the desert, including plant life you’ll find there.  The temperature and smell are comparable to an actual desert.  Beneath this is the Kingdom of the Nights where its dark.  In one division is the cave with bats and the sulfur smell and the stalagmites, and it’s cool.  Then in another division is the swamp where it’s dark and humid where you start out in a “person’s” shack and head out on the boardwalk with beavers, fish, an alligator and more than I probably am not seeing.  The zoo also has a jungle you walk through, an aquarium where fish (including sharks) swim over your head, and a butterfly exhibit.  In the butterfly exhibit, a hummingbird flew by my ear, and that’s the last time I went in there.  LOL  But the Kingdom of the Nights is by far my favorite part.  So we’ve been doing the kind of stuff that families usually do during the summer, and since we bought season passes this year to that and the water park, we are going a lot.

Okay.  So that’s what’s been keeping me away from the computer.  But I have been making some progress and have a few ideas in the works for future books to share.  So let me get to it.  :D

Works in Progress Update

1.  Her Counterfeit Husband

This one is coming along great so far.  I reached 24,000 words tonight.  I want to post up an excerpt when I finish with the court hearing.   At any rate, if the story keeps writing itself like it has been, I should have it published in August.

2.  Bound by Honor, Bound by Love

Still slow going.  I don’t think this book will be out this summer.  It’s just not coming as fast as my books usually do.  I will be doing good if I can get this one out by December 31, 2012.  However, I am very happy with the way the book is going and am right on track, so it’s not all bad news.

3.  Mitch’s Win

I think this will be out in September.  It stalled for a while but has now picked up again.

Will Be Writing More Regencies in the Future

I’ve been surprised by how many people have been reading The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife, and while writing it, I had several ideas for a couple of characters who popped up in that book.  Please keep in mind, this is a tentative list.  Things might change.

I wanted to write about these characters:

Perry (Lord Clement who was Nate’s best friend) who had the limp.  I really enjoyed this character.  From Her Counterfeit Husband, I am working on a character by the name of Candace who ended up marrying the dreadful Lord Hedwrett due to an arrangement between him and her miserable brother.  The heroine in Her Counterfeit Husband (Anna) is friends with Candace.  So that’s how I’m tying Candace into a future marriage with Perry.  At some point, Lord Hedwrett will have to die, but I doubt anyone is going to miss him.  While writing The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife, I knew that Perry was going to marry a widow whose first husband wasn’t nice.  How did I know this?  I’m not sure how to explain it, but as I write a book, I “just know” what the character’s future is going to be and who they’ll end up with.  The story usually evolves from there.

Lily – Claire’s sister who we all know chose the right gentleman (won’t say it if you haven’t read the book but the rest of you know who I’m talking about).  But what I didn’t get to disclose in that book is that she had to manipulate things to get him because he’d given up on her and was looking for another possible wife.

Lord Edon – The gentleman who was known by Nate and Perry as a notorious rake will be in A Most Unsuitable Husband, and I already have it planned where he’s going to be marry Lady Catherine (and if you remember, she’s the one who bored Nate to tears and had the father who was extremely interested that she marry a gentleman of a good reputation; so for him, her getting stuck in a situation where she has to marry Lord Edon will be nothing short of a catastrophe).  But to be fair, Lord Edon isn’t happy with the arrangement either, and neither is Lady Catherine.  So no one is happy…except Lord Edon’s mother who can finally breathe a sigh of relief her son will have a good wife.  I expect this will be a fun book given the cast of characters.  And I already know Lady Catherine isn’t as boring as she first appears.  *wink*   I want to do this one after I finish Her Counterfeit Husband.

Mister Robinson – I do intend to write a book for Perry’s misbehaving ward.  The plot is to be determined.

***

So, I wrote one book (The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife) and came up with four more on the “To Write” list.

***

That’s it for the updates.  If all goes well tomorrow and I have the time, I will have Mary Larson interrogated (ahem…I mean “interviewed”) for her part in Dave’s kidnapping.  ;)

Sally Larson (Aka Sally Johnson) Gives Her Side of Things in the Case of Ruth Ann Nordin VS Dave and Mary Larson

Rick Johnson: Who’s next to the stand?

Joel Larson: The court calls Sally Larson to the stand.

*everyone looks back to see where Sally is*

Sally: I love those shoes!  Yes, I’m looking at the site right now.  Definitely buy them. It’s perfect for the new dress you just bought.  I’m telling you, Ethel Mae, you need to run out and buy them before they go out of stock.

Rick: *clears his throat*

Sally: *still talking into phone* Well, I don’t have a dress in that particular color, but then I don’t think that color goes well with my complexion.  It’s perfect on you.  It brings out the color in your cheeks.  *silent for a moment* You didn’t!  You did?  Really?  And what did she say?

Rick: *bangs the gavel*

Sally: *jerks and looks up from her computer* Oh, I have to go, Ethel Mae.  Yeah, I’m in court because my brother is an idiot.  Yeah, the one who thinks we need to join some kind of union because he’s so much better than the rest of us.  As if we’re here to do his bidding. *silent for a moment* I know.  He was so nice in Her Heart’s Desire.  I don’t know what happened to him either.  I guess fame goes to some people’s heads.

Rick: *whispers to the bailiff who hurries over to Sally and closes the laptop and takes her cell phone away from her* We’re having a hearing, Sally.  You can talk to your friend after the verdict.

Tom: I’m pretty sure cell phones and laptops aren’t allowed here, especially since we live in the 1800s.

Joel: Oh good grief.  It’s fiction.

Sally: No matter what time period it is, a girl has the right to shop and talk to her friends.    *goes up the front of the room and sits on the witness stand; glances at Rick and bats her eyelashes at him* You’re not mad at me, are you?

Rick: *smiles* Nah, I guess not.  Just remember you can’t do it in any of the books because then we’d all get in trouble for historical inaccuracy.

Sally: Sure thing, honey. *winks at him*

Tom: *rolls his eyes* Can we get on with this already?

Joel: Right. *approaches Sally* Now, Sally, what do you think about Ruth?

Sally: She’s awesome.  Not only did she give me a great husband, but I’m one of her best characters.

Tom: Objection!  That’s is conjecture.  No one can say Sally is best character.

Sally: *crosses her arms and pouts* I said one of her best.

Tom: Your honor, objection!  It’s still conjecture.

Rick: Objection denied.  Joel, continue with the questions.

Joel: You were in favor of the plot for Isaac’s Decision.  In fact, you convinced Rick to marry Isaac and Emily.

Sally: Yes.

Joel: Is it fair to say you thought Dave overreacted when he tried to rewrite that book?

Sally: Of course, he overreacted.  He’s not a storyteller.  He doesn’t have a literary bone in his body.  Can you imagine what a catastrophe that story would have turned out to be? I mean, he was writing, and I quote:

Isaac wasn’t sure if listening to his father was a good idea. But he knew his father had his best interest at heart, so he decided to take Eva home without any of his brothers or sisters tagging along.  He took Eva home, and they had a wonderful conversation.  He thought that maybe his father was right and he would give Eva a second chance.

When they arrived at her home, her father asked him if he wanted to visit for awhile, and he agreed.  Isaac had such a good time, he asked Eva if he could court her.  She said yes but said she couldn’t officially be courted until after her teaching contract was over.  Soon enough, it was, and they did.  By the end of the year, they were married and lived happily ever after because she was a good wife who was a lot like his mother and he had a wonderful mother.

The End

Sally continues: I mean, who in their right mind would read such a stupid story?  Ruth did Isaac and Emily a huge favor of ditching what David wrote.

Joel: Ruth claims she deserves compensation from the way she was treated.  Do you agree?

Sally: Sure.  If she isn’t, then David might pull some other sneaky stunt.  And if that happens, Ruth might give up because it won’t be worth it to have a character and his naive  wife creating a ruckus all the time.  Who wants that hassle?

Joel: Thank you, Sally.  That’s all I have to say.

Rick: Do you have any questions, Tom?

Tom: Indeed, I do.  *walks over to Sally* What does your husband do for a living?

Sally: Seriously?  That’s your question?

Tom: Will you just answer it?

Sally: *rolls her eyes* Fine.  He’s a judge.  *she points to Rick* Do you want to know his last name, too?

Tom: My point is that being a judge’s wife, you ought to be aware of the Constitution, specifically the First Amendment, which just so happens to be the freedom of speech.   That being the case, isn’t Dave within his rights to speak up when he doesn’t like something Ruth does?

Sally: There’s a difference between speaking up and being a pest.  He was a pest.  Hiding from everyone so we all thought he was kidnapped is taking it too far.  Anyone with half a brain can see that.

Tom: But if Dave wants to form a union and gather characters who’ll go along with him, then that’s his right.

Sally: If you must persist in that crazy talk, then be aware that Ruth also has the right to give up the Nebraska books and find other books to write.  Book which, I might add, will feature other characters.  And if David bugs those characters until they give in and go along with it just to shut him up, then she might give up writing altogether.

Tom: *stands silent of a moment and sighs* I can’t think of anything else.

Joel: *snickers at Tom who mutters for him to shut up*

Sally: *leaves the witness stand*