David L. Winters's Blog, page 8

Unhappiness Causes Stress

While this may seem like an obvious statement, unhappiness really does cause stress. When we are unhappy, our mind's natural defense is to find a solution to the discomfort.Remedies are great when they work. This sounds like something Yogi Berra would say, but it is true. If we keep trying remedies to our unhappiness and none of them work, the result is more and more stress.People will find ways to release stress. Some of these are healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually, but fall short financially. For example, a quick vacation trip to Barbados may bring temporary happiness, but compound the unhappiness when the bills come rolling in. The same is true of shopping therapy.Other fixes may work fine from a financial standpoint and even physically and emotionally. However, the spiritual cost is too high to pay. For example, it may feel great to indulge fantasies that cost nothing, physically don't hurt anyone and emotionally reset our dopamine levels. However, some of these release mechanisms will drive us far from God. Then, we eventually feel worse than before we started seeking an outlet for our unhappiness.It is easy to think of indulgences that have a negative physical cost. And it isn't too hard to imagine deprivation strategies which would result in emotional downers. Staying home alone and saving money may be great for finances, physical relaxation and even spiritual pursuits, assuming we engage in prayer or Bible reading, but too much alone time can result in emotional imbalance, causing us to again become unhappy.So, what is the secret to eliminating as much unhappiness as possible.1. Realize some unhappiness comes with life. If you love, you will occasionally lose a loved one, whether it be human or a pet. By understanding that every life includes loss, our unhappiness can be reduced.2. Find the root causes of your unhappiness. At least monthly, stop to ask yourself, what is lacking in my physical, emotional, spiritual and financial life? Then, prayerfully decide what actions you could take to begin (not fix), but begin to remedy the unhappiness. You might find that just starting to execute a simple plan will have a huge impact on your mood.3. Try one new thing at least monthly. Our brains were made to enjoy the routine, but not too much of the routine. Trying new activities may result in enlivening your entire experience.4. Give thanks for all the good things you already have. Our advertising-soaked world has at its core, a desire to make us want things we don't have. It moves commerce and spurs economic activity. That's fine and I'm a devout Capitalist. However, individuals need relief from this cycle of made up problems and expensive remedies. Just thank God right now for exactly what you own, enjoy and did today.With these four ideas, we just might find some answers to anxiety and stress.

6 Ways to Take a Mini Sabbatical

When writing my new book, Sabbatical of the Mind: The Journey from Anxiety to Peace, I realized everyone would not be able to take months off work to examine their lives and hear God's special messages for their lives. That doesn't mean that everyone couldn't use at least a mini sabbatical. Do an abbreviated inventory of your big life issues or unfulfilled dreams, then find a place to talk them over with God. The following are 8 great ways to set aside time for life's bigger questions.1. Enjoy a Stay-cation. If we've been going a hundred miles an hour between work, home, children/grandchildren, the best gift may be loads of free time around the area where we live. Schedule that massage you've wanted, a hair appointment at a new salon, lunch at the latest restaurant or time at the local pool. Get up late each day. Begin with time alone with God. Read books. Go to the farmer's market you've wanted to try.2. Get on a plane and don't look back. A 3-day weekend or one week vacation may be all we need to reset our inner clock. For those who are not too tired and don't mind airports, the right prescription may be a beach in another state or even country.3. Participate in a Christian conference. If fellowship energizes you, the right prescription may be signing up for a conference you've always wanted to attend. Worship is a great precursor to any discussion with God. Be sure to take time alone in your room to ask God those big questions. Then, listen closely at the seminars and large-group sessions. He will answer.4. Attend a Christian music festival. Heat and sweat don't energize everyone, but for those of us who love great praise bands, a multi-day festival may get you in the right place spiritually to commune with the Creator. Do some prep work by determining your areas of dissatisfaction/need, then pray into them as the music rocks and rolls. It just might shake loose some answers and new direction.5. Devote time to a service project. Although it seems counter-intuitive, getting away on a one-week mission trip to build a new orphanage (or for any good purpose) may be just the type of experience that can illuminate God's plan for our future. Helping the least of His little ones is sure to put our issues in perspective and perhaps guide up to a new calling. This could be across the street or around the World.6. Join a home bible study or cell group. Some of my most peaceful moments in the midst of storms have happened at small groups associated with my church or para-church organizations. Come each week ready to minister to others and to be ministered to. Having others regularly pray into our lives and support us can mean the World as we walk through life's difficulties.David L. Winters is an author and speaker. Check out his new book Sabbatical of the Mind wherever great books are sold.

The Mind of God

"This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." Hebrews 8:10In the Book of Hebrews in the Bible, the author (moved by God) explains the reason that the Old Covenant had to pass away: man's corrupt nature. Left to our own devices and apart from God, we don't have it within ourselves to be truly good. Just take a look around at the shape our world is in. Obviously, men at their core are not a bastion of goodness.God's fix for this problem was to send His only Son, Jesus to die for our sins. This perfect sacrifice was meant to bring eternal salvation, but also immediate peace to the lives of those who embrace Him. The passage above says that something in the essence of the new covenant God ordained with Man includes a writing of God's laws on our hearts. I don't know about you, but sometimes I can feel that writing more than other times.In this age we live in, the times seem dark and tumultuous some days. It is these times that we need more than ever to draw close to Christ. To pull ourselves to an altar and cry out to the only one that fix our personal peace situation. God can do it. He has done it many times for me. He will do it for all who call on Him. Just give Him a chance.

INTO THE STORM

Like ships, our serenity is not tested when we are docked at the peaceful shores of our comfort zone. When we venture out to live life to it's fullest, that's when we encounter most of our storms. Whether it is the workplace, at a social gathering or just running to the grocery store, life tests our ability to remain calm and focused on the Highest Power, God.Recently, a friend and I ventured to the movies to catch an action-packed movie. Anticipation was in the air as we pulled into the parking lot and assured each other that this was going to be a great show. We could almost feel the rockets propelling us out of Earth's atmosphere as we bought our tickets and made our way through the megaplex to our assigned, recliner seats. Who knew that eventually movie theaters would let us relax in the lap of luxury while seeing first-run entertainment.With the new innovation came a startling development: seat assignments. No longer could we saunter into the theater and select just any old seat. Now, we had to select a seat or have one selected for us by the ticket salesman in the lobby. This seemed like a minor inconvenience, until this particular outing. As we were making our way into the crowded theater and up the aisle to our row, there was a glitch. A couple was sitting right in the two seats that were supposed to belong to my friend and I.In years past, I have to admit that I may not have been exactly kind as I challenged their rights to these two seats. This time, armed with lessons learned from my sabbatical of the mind, I calmly said, "Pardon me, but I believe these are our seats. We were assigned E1 and E2."The gentleman in my seat glared back at me and said nothing. I gave him my best, we are determined to sit here look. His wife said, "We'll move. We'll move." She punched him in the arm and he began to replace his seat to the full upright position.My friend and I sat down in our unfortunately pre-warmed seats. All in all, we quickly forgot about the incident and enjoyed the movie. If I had created a bigger scene or spoken hatefully to the pair, I'm sure I would have thought about the situation for at least half of the movie. As it was, I was ready for take-off and glad to know I hadn't let myself down in the process.

PEACE.

Have you every watched a truly loving father rough-house with a son or daughter? Even as the child flies up in the air or tumbles onto a couch, fears are lost in the midst of the fun.I was fortunate enough to have a father who enjoyed this kind of play. He would tickle me until I screamed or make funny faces to elicit the giggles he desired. After an exhausting round of being tossed here and there, I would collapse on his chest and listen to his heart beating. I could smell the unsmoked tobacco from his chest pocket. It was the safest place on Earth and sleep would often follow.Rough play with parents doesn't always end well. On one occasion, my father dropped me onto the coffee table causing my lip to split open.Ouch!After Mom applied ice wrapped in a washcloth, they both decided I would need a few stitches to close the wound. Though my wound hurt a little, there was no fear as they took me to the emergency room and laid me on the examining table. I didn't completely understand what was about to happen and fear crept in. They ask my father to hold me down so they could stitch up my lip. As I looked up at him, his face was wracked with guilt and pain. I tried to smile at him to cheer him up. There was no condemnation on my end and I knew the secret. As long as he was there for me, everything would soon be alright.