Pensacola Helene Jefferson's Blog, page 22

CHAPTER 9 THE LIFE OF LUKE WARM: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY (THE SIN OF STUBBORNNESS)

CHAPTER 9

LUKE WARM:

THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY

THE SIN OF STUBBORNNESS

                            

“…They kept ...following the stubborn desires of their evil hearts…” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT).    “We will continue ...to, stubbornlyfollowing our own evil desires” (JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT). “...Jesus saith…I am THE WAY…” (John 14:6 KJV). “…There is SALVATION IN NO ONE ELSE…” (Acts 4:12).

                                                   *

Issachar wasn’t much of a soul searcher, but for the first time, that he could remember, he felt “real” fear.

He’d been in a bad car accident, suffered serious head injuries, and had been in an induced coma for 13 days. For a while they weren’t sure if he was going to make it or not, or so he’d been told.

Issachar thought he died and actually gone to hell. He thought God would grant him a pass for DOING the right things, but he hadn’t. The bible distinctly says there is only ONE WAY to be one of “HIS” people, but he’d, stubbornly, held onto the thought that he would be the exception to the rule.

Issachar KNEW the scriptures well. In the Christian faith, Jesus was THE WAY and there was salvation in NO OTHER. The bible read:  “...Jesus saith…I am THE WAY…” (John 14:6 KJV). “…There is SALVATION IN NO ONE ELSE…” (Acts 4:12).

He had treated salvation or accepting Christ as an unnecessary formality in order to get into heaven.

On his “OWN” volition, Issachar had followed and kept every commandment since he’d joined the Christian community.

He’d thought he’d succeeded without depending upon the indwelling Holy Spirit or Christlike others did. He was stubborn about his own personal ability to be a Christian without Christ, but he had ONLY deluded himself.

While in the coma, Issachar had gone straight to hell. He couldn’t believe he was there. He needed salvation to get into heaven after all. He needed to accept Jesus Christ, into his heart, in order to be SAVED.

Most of his life he’d been voluntarily rebellious, falsely prideful, and rigidly stubborn. Yet, he thought he was being a righteous person all by himself, but it turned out he was wrong.

His ideology of being a Christian had left him weak, turned him into a burden bearer, left him making tributary payments to his self-invented life, and had revealed he was and always would be flawed and limited by his sinful nature.

A sinful nature with HELL in its future. Over his lifetime Issachar had often rationalized his stubbornness as a positive personality trait.

But he was really bullheaded, refusing to change his opinions, his perspectives, his ways, or the decisions he’d make.

He’d become a creature of habit that adhered to his “OWN” ways and ideas as if they were as GREAT as God’s Word.

When he’d come face-to-face with God’s TRUTH that Jesus was THE WAY, he’d resisted that too. Even to God he was saying “...No, I want to do it my way and even you can’t make me change my mind...”

All his life Issachar could remember being stubborn. He didn’t know why at first, but now he did. He had preached salvation for years, but thought it didn’t apply to him. He was different from other sinners.

But the painstaking truth was being a sinner wasn’t what a person DOES or DOESN’T do, it is who they are BYWAY of their sinful nature. A person BORN with a sinful nature is automatically a sinner. “….I was born a sinner ….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT).

No one in his family was stubborn like him, but Mr. Edwards, his math teacher, was. Issachar had him for three years in elementary school.

He idolized him and he believed he had triggered the stubbornness that laid the foundation for Issachar’s personality.

Poppy told his parents to keep him away from Mr. Edwards and asked them to get him a new math teacher, but they didn’t listen. Issachar was generously exposed to Mr. Edward’s stubborn habits.

Issachar was impressed with Mr. Edward’s intellect and was inadvertently influenced by him, for the worst, because he wanted to be like him. Mr. Edward’s became his mentor and even he had tried to counsel Issachar on his stubbornness, but it was too late.

Stubbornness became embedded and developed into into Issachar’s personality. Some experts believe the personality becomes FIXED and impossible to CHANGE.

It is FIXED. The bible calls it the FIXED SINFUL NATURE in so many ways. He read multiple times: “…Can an Ethiopian change his skin or a leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil…” (Jeremiah 13:23 NIV). “...I want to do what is right, but I can’t…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).

The sinful nature, definitely, played a major role in SHAPING Issachar’s personality "…That which is born of the flesh is flesh…” (John 3:6 KJV). Issachar, like everyone else, was “….born a sinner ….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT). “….yes, from the moment [his] ... mother conceived [him]….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT).

He was a SINNER even in his self-delusional Christianity. His self-invented piety or so-called righteousness was NOTHING! The bible said: “… [ALL have become]…..unclean and [their so-called] righteousnesses (efforts to BE good is) as filthy rags….” (Isaiah 64:6 KJV).

God is clear about his STAND on stubbornness too: “...For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejectedthe word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king...” (1 Samuel 15:12 KJV). “…They kept ...following the stubborn desires of their evil hearts…” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT).    “We will continue ...to, stubbornlyfollowing our own evil desires” (JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT).

I am a SINNER, “still.”

Growing up Issachar thought he was “simply” passionate, decisive, had his “own” personal convictions, was persistent, and stood his ground.

But when tested by life, Issachar’s stubbornness would rear its ugly head. His personality was heavily impacted by his underlying and powerful SINFUL NATURE.

His SINFUL NATURE was a reality. “….I was born a sinner ….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT)."…That which is born of the flesh is flesh…” (John 3:6 KJV). “….I was born a sinner (—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT).

Issachar’s personality was shaped by his SINFUL NATURE which made stubbornness an enduring part of his development. 

His stubbornness affected his beliefs about self, family, social and intimate relationships, religion, work ethics, mental and physical health, perceptions of nature, how he should love, and many other aspect of life.

All these aspects of his personality were fundamental tied to his stubborn SINFUL NATURE.

No matter how HIGHLY Issachar thought of himself, he was “STILL” a MERE, finite sinful nature. “….I was born a sinner ….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT)."…That which is born of the flesh is flesh…” (John 3:6 KJV). “….I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me….” (Psalms 51:5 NLT).

Stubbornness had shaped so much of who he was and how he’d functioned in day to day life, but he couldn’t SEE it.

His SINFUL NATURE, like it or not, had an effect on his PERSONALITY, which impacted his character and how he’d behaved most of his life.

His stubbornness became FIXED and it was hopelessly unchangeable, which meant, in all these years, Issachar had not become anything new. He was the same old person he’d always been. It had hampered his personal growth. “...The trouble is with me, for I am all too human…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).

 “...I want to dowhat is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).

 “…The sinful nature wants to do evil... so you are not FREE to carry out your good intentions. … …” (Galatians 5 NLT).

 “...Apart from [Jesus Christ]… [mankind cannot]... do nothing [they cannot change their nature]…” (John 15:5 NIV).

According to research many people WANT to change their personality, because they are dissatisfied with it. “...Who will free me from this life that is dominated by [the sin nature]?” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).

God did NOT sent Jesus to CHANGE mankind’s SINFUL NATURE, but he was sent to DELIVER them totally from it!

To CHANGE meant to MAKE the SINFUL NATURE different.

TO DELIVER meant to be SET FREE from the SINFUL NATURE.

“…Therefore if any man (woman) be in Christ, he (she) is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV). “...For in him we live, and move, and have our being (OUR NEW PERSONALITY); as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring...” (Acts 17:28 KJV).

His stubbornness had helped him get what he wanted. It had also made people compliant to his wishes, so they’d give him what he wanted too.

He had adopted stubbornness for selfish reasons. To surrender to others always made him think his freedom was being threatened and he didn’t want to do it.

In some ways his pride, his rebellion, and his stubbornness had work together as a defense mechanism so he’d NEVER be controlled by anything or anybody.

Instead, Issachar had become controlled by his rigid, inflexible stubbornness that was now a part of his FIXED personality. It had affected his relationship with Virtuous, especially since their 10th anniversary. He had stubbornly avoided her, in many ways, just because she, like Poppy, didn’t agree with the way HE SAW himself.

Issachar had thought WAY to HIGH of himself. In reality, he was difficult, closed-minded, inflexible, and on his way to hell. He "always" WANTED his WAY, even with God.

Issachar HATED being controlled, but while in hell, he learned it was HIS DECISION to be there. Doing things HIS WAY was a choice.

God was NOT trying to change Issachar’s behavior by offering him salvation. He was offering to SAVE his life “IF” he, himself, chose for him to do it. “… [YOU CHOOSE]... this day whom ye will serve….” (Joshua 24:15 KJV).

All the RIGHTEOUS deeds he’d done for CHRISTIANITY and he’d ended up in HELL. He had DESERVED nothing. He wasn't WORTHY of nothing. He had EARNED nothing. He had NOTHING to BOAST about. since He COULDN’T save himself. Jesus is the way.

“…confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and … believe in thine heartthat God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved” (ROMANS 10:9 KJV). “Believeon the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (ACTS 16:31 KJV).  “…I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God…” (ACTS 8:37 KJV).

“…BY GRACE have [you]… been saved through… FAITH; and that NOT OF YOURSELVES, IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD…” (Ephesians 2:8-9 ASV).

“...Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God...” (John 3:3 KJV).

Issachar stubbornly CARRIED every problem and every BURDEN alone, because he had not accepted Jesus into his heart and life.

Virtuous had shown him Poppy’s video. He was shocked. He was the ASS that carried around TWO BURDENS.  His addiction was on one side and his self-invented CHRISTIAN life on the other.

He was the domestic beast of burden carrying around heavy burdens. He labored tirelessly, through his sinful flesh, under his own self-invented, drudgery of a lifestyle. His sinful nature had worn out and was weak under the YOKE, he put, around his “OWN” neck.

He had become a grown man. He may know the bible better than anyone else on earth. He may have studied both Greek and Hebrew to further his theological understanding, but NONE of that had removed the YOKE of BONDAGE. He knew NOTHING of joy or peace, or the spiritual freedom that set one’s SOUL FREE.

He was BLINDED by his pride, his rebellion, and his stubbornness. He was NOT going to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

He was STUFFED with spiritual knowledge and education, but he was NOT enlightened. Jesus enlightened mankind. The bible says: “... [the word, Jesus]... is a light to reveal God  to the nations...” (Luke 2:32 NLT).

“... A Light of revelation...” (LUKE 2:32 NASB). “…The Light which … enlightens every man (woman)…” (John 1:19 NASB).

Issachar may APPEAR like a CHRISTIAN to the world, but what difference had it made when he didn’t BELONG to God. It was ALL in God’s Word. “…And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them DO NOT BELONG TO HIM at all...” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “…Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied ...cast out devils... and DONE many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity (gross injustice or wickedness)…” (Matthew 7:22-23 KJV).

Issachar had succeeded in LOOKING and APPEARING like a true REDEEMED child of God by simply CONFORMING his outward life.

He was a PROFESSIONAL Christian who could walk the walk, speak the vocabulary, and win over everybody through his self-invented conversion, but it was a self-delusion.

Other “REAL” Christian, considered him “ONE OF THEM,” but they had NO CLUE he was a self-invention.

He prayed with them. He worshipped with them. He studied the bible with them. He supported Christian ministry with them. He saved souls with them. They believed he was one of the redeemed, so they acknowledged and treated him like a brother-in-Christ.

Their acceptance, of Issachar, only FUELED and EMBOLDENED his self-invention, made him blinder, more delusional, and made him believe HIS WAY would earn his entrance into Heaven.

How had he done it? How had he invaded the Christian community and nobody noticed? It was the Christian community that made him feel secure, accepted, and as if he was really one of them.

He asked Virtuous what kind of Christian did she think he was. She said, “...For a long time I thought you were an exemplary Christian, Izzy. You DID all the righteous things it “seemed. For years I had ONLY looked at your Christian doings, but after our 10th Anniversary I saw you had NO spiritual fruit. I thought I was wrong because I couldn’t reconcile the righteous things YOU DID with the character YOU HAD. I was confused about the truth. Were you a Christian because of what you DID or who you WERE. So, I kept watching and interacting with you until it became crystal clear. I said, to myself, Izzy has and displays NO spiritual fruit. So what you DID no longer mattered to me. I SAW you. What we do as God's people, is motivated by who we are in Christ. I SAW you, Izzy..” “…Ye shall know [God’s people]… by their fruits…” (Matthew 7:16 KJV). “…The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance…” (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV).

Virtuous’ words CRUSHED him. He felt pathetic and distraught. He was merely a sinful nature that had SNUCK his way into the body of Christthrough a CARNAL process. And just because NOBODY noticed and he’d FOOLED many upon earth, he WASN'T on his way to HEAVEN.

When God opened Virtuous’ eyes Christ was NOT revealed in him and NEITHER was his spiritual fruit. She gave him a scripture God led her to regarding PEOPLE like him. “...Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life emerges! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you...” (2 Corinthians 5:16-20 MSG). “...Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more...” (2 Corinthians 5:16 KJV).

“…Ye shall know [God’s people]… by their fruits…” (Matthew 7:16 KJV). “…The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance…” (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV).

While in the coma Issachar had gone STRAIGHT to HELL. God did not SPARE him because of ALL his RIGHTEOUS works or deeds, or how he had FOOLED people with his self-invented piety.

Issachar would be damned to HELL along with the rest of the ungodly. “…Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites...hypocrites ...hypocrites!...blind guides ...Ye fools and blind ...hypocrites ...Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites ...Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?” (Matthew 23:13-33 KJV).

Issachar’s WAY “seemed” right, but it wasn’t. “…There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death….” (Proverbs 16:25 KJV).

He had to come to God like King David did. King DAVID MESSED-UP, but asked God for MERCY.  “...Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me...Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit...Deliver me from bloodguiltiness...” (Psalms 51 KJV).

King David KNEW God would have MERCY on him and asked boldly. “...Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me...Deliver me from bloodguiltiness...” (Psalms 51 KJV).

“…Who isa God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because HE DELIGHTETH IN MERCY…” (Micah 7:18 KJV). “…Mercy triumphs over judgement.” (James 2:13 NASB).

God listened to King David’s confession without condemnation or judgement. “…against thee, thee only, have I sinned and done this evil in thy sight, that thou mightiest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest…” (Psalms 51:4 KJV).

“…There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…” (Romans 8:1 KJV). “…There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. ….” (John 3:18 NLT). “…Mercy triumphs over judgement.” (James 2:13 NASB).

All of Issachar’s self-invented piety and Christian persona MEANT nothing. He went to HELL and was perishing in the FLAMES. Issachar had preached and taught the Gospel. He had worshipped and sang the church songs and hymns. He had visited the sick, feed the hungry, and saved many souls.

It BENEFITTED others, but NOT himself. He had not reconciled himself to God. He had not been restored through Jesus Christ. He had not had fellowship with the indwelling Holy Spirit. So what if he’d SNUCK his way into CHRISTIANITY through the back DOOR upon earth, he STILL went to HELL!

Poppy had named him Issachar and he had lived up to the name. How many other Issachar’s were there? How many others had self-invented their piety and Christian personas? How many so-called Christian are blinded, like him, by their righteous “appearance?”

It’s like looking like a book, with a beautiful cover, but there is NOTHING, of worth, written inside. Such was Issachar. As he sat alone in the hospital bed day after day, night after night his soul became poverty-stricken and his heart contrite. God said: “...The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise...” (Psalms 51:17 KJV). “...Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice...” (Psalms 51:16-17 MSG).

Issachar “surrendered” to God.

CHAPTER 8 THE LIFE OF LUKE WARM: EVANGELIST ISSACHAR L. WARM

 

CHAPTER 8

LUKE WARM:

EVANGELIST ISSACHAR L. WARM

                             

“...if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing (apart from his Spirit, you can do nothing)....” (1 Corinthians 13:1-5 NASB). “...apart from [GOD] nothing came into being that has come into being … (John 1:1-4 NASB). “... APART FROM [God]... you can do nothing  …” (John 15:1-11 NASB).

*

Issachar worked tirelessly on Sunday’s sermon. Pastor had asked him to bring the message. He felt he had developed a good creative sermon, but he was thankful he didn’t have to do it every week like he had when he was teaching the weekly bible study. He was good at his job and he always found a way to connect the truth of God’s Word with a good message. He had time to do something else now.

In a couple of years, he would be 60 years old and many things were turning around in his life. He had transition from that young drama student to the man he is today.

Issachar had SAW what he wanted and he went for it. However, he’d done it HIS WAY, and it had come with a cost. “...he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant...” (Genesis 49:15 KJV).

He’d come to this pleasant CHRISTIAN arena, but he had NOT been drawn like everyone else. . “No one can come to me except the Father which hath sent Me draw him...” (John 6:44 KJV).

He could ONLY boast in his “own” human choice, naturalness, impelling, or personification of fake salvation, which can only come by grace through faith anyway. “…[salvation]… IS THE GIFT OF GOD (the Holy Spirit through Jesus)…” (Ephesians 2:8-9 ASV). “…[God’s people ARE] ... Saved by grace through faith (trust in & dependency upon God, the Holy Spirit through Jesus)… NOT OF [them]SELVES ... not of works (doings OF THE flesh), that no man (woman) should glory…” (Ephesians 2:8-9 ASV). “…The flesh profiteth nothing …” (John 6:63 KJV).

He could no longer bear the heavy burden of his “own” choices, yet his soul remained un-redeemed. He had NO spiritual gifts to display. He knew NOT the healing and salvation through God’s word for himself. 

He had COME, on his own, to merely REAP the benefits of God’s riches, spiritual blessings, gifts, and advantages that was afforded to God’s people, which, HE KNEW, he was not.

He was in the midst of them and APPEARED as if he belonged. He had wormed his OWN way into the PLACE of REST and SALVATION. He had some of the highest and most coveted Christian positions, powers, and opportunities upon earth, but it did not have him. He was on his way STRAIGHT to HELL according to his wife.

Virtuous SAW him just like Poppy did. He didn’t like it either. She said almost the same things too. That’s why he’d gotten mad at her on their 10th anniversary.

She told him either something was real or it wasn’t. She complimented him on how he looked, what he knew, what he’d accomplished, what a good father he’d become, and his ministry, but she said, “...no offense, Izzy, but you’re NOT real. You are a self-invention. You helped everybody, but yourself...”

She’d given him four scriptures: “...I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified...” (1 Corinthians 9:27 NLT).“...if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die...” (Romans 13:5 KJV). “...Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?...”(2 Corinthians 13:5 KJV). “...Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up...” (James 4:10 KJV).

Issachar SAW Christianity and he had come into its arena for what HE WANTED not for what HE NEEDED. “...he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant...” (Genesis 49:15 KJV).

He had NOT come to rest his weary soul. He had NOT come to have his lost soul saved either. He had NOT come for the indwelling Holy Spirit. He had NOT come for salvation. He had come for the RICHES, the BLESSINGS, the GIFTS and the ADVANTAGES. “...he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant...” (Genesis 49:15 KJV).

There is a DOOR into the PLACE of rest and salvation, which is Jesus Christ, but Issachar had created his OWN WAY in, but Virtuous told him he wasn’t really in Christ at all.

He had to admit, he saw what he was missing through Virtuous and he was jealous. Yes, he may have some of the highest and most coveted Christian positions, powers, and opportunities upon earth, but he was a poor and destitute soul. Virtuous, on the other hands, was lavished and nurtured with inner spiritual wealth and treasures.

He had gotten what he wanted, right?. “…What shall it profit a man (woman), if he (she) shall gain the whole world (through good deeds), and lose his (her) own soul?...” (Mark 8:36 KJV).

Issachar was RIGHT smack dab in the middle of Christianity; its harmony, its holy love, its riches, its advantages, its righteous people, and its blessings. In fact, his wife, children, ministry, and businesses reeked with Christian SPIRIT. While they were all joined to Christianity through Christ, he had come on his own. “...I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified...” (1 Corinthians 9:27 NLT).

Virtuous had gone through SO MUCH with him and yet she could STILL love him, be joyous, kind, believe, fellowship, run the family, sing songs, and pray as though she was living a trouble free life.

He KNEW the bible better than she did. At least he thought he did. He meditated on the scriptures, pondered its depths, exchanged his Christian views with others, participated in multiple biblical discourses, knew Greek and Hebrew, and fed his mind in abundance, but his heart was left empty.  Virtuous said: “… God ... sen[ds]... forth the Spirit of His Son (HIS WORD) into our hearts...” (Galatians 4:6 NASB).  “…The sower (God) SOWETH THE WORD …The (spiritual) seed (Jesus) is [also]... the WORD OF GOD ….. THE WORD …was sown in [THE] HEARTS [of God’s redeemed people]…” (Mark 4:14-15 & Luke 8:11 KJV).

“… His name (Jesus’ name) is [also] called The Word of God (the spiritual seed)…” (Revelation 19:12-13 NASB). “ …[God’s people] have this treasure  (this spiritual seed) “in” earthen (human) vessels…” (2 Corinthians 4:6-7 KJV). He KNEW about Christ, but she KNEW him, on a personal level Issachar’s heart was CHRISTLESS.

He thought because he could put the scriptures, parables, narratives, biblical characters together, in such a poetic, inspiring, life-changing, and picturesque way that bought people to Jesus, he HAD what it TOOK, but he was wrong. “... APART FROM [Jesus]... you can do nothing  …” (John 15:1-11 NASB).

He dwell among these Christian people, appeared to be one of them, but whether he liked it or not, HE WAS "NOT" ONE OF GOD'S PEOPLE. “...’Master,’ Said John, ‘we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is notONE OF US,’ ‘Do not stop him,’ Jesus said, ‘for whoever is not against you is for you...’” (Luke 9:49-50 NIV).  

 “Jesus saith…I am THE WAY…” (John 14:6 KJV). “…those who do nothave the [indwelling Holy]... Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to himat all.….” (Romans 8:8-11 NLT).

Issachar had a truly Godly wife and all his children were “real” Christians. They lived a pretty decent and orderly life. Peace, love, and joyous serenity ran through his home and there were endless blessings, but he was NOT a part of it. His body was there, but the bond of holy love and spiritual connection was NOT!

“...he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant ...” (Genesis 49:15 KJV). Issachar had come to CHRISTIANITY for the WRONG reasons.

It was NOT his desire to be reconciled to God that he’d come. He was NOT thirsting after righteousness, prayer, or the gracious outpouring of God’s Spirit. It wasn’t the longing for the covenant relationship that drove him to the Gospel either.

Issachar merely wanted the ADVANTAGES of the Christian life and that was the ONLY reason he’d chosen a Godly wife, so he could have Godly children to share in his Godly ministry and Godly business adventures.

He, himself, wasn’t Godly, especially without the indwelling Holy Spirit. He had become PIOUS through his “OWN” invention of piety. It was through his “OWN” efforts he appeared peaceful, prudent, and devotional.

Issachar had taken on Christianity and learned about the lifestyle as if it was no more than a career move or new vocation, job, or trade.

Though Issachar had taught and study it many times he knew NOTHING about the contrite heart of King David. The King had said: “…against thee, thee only, have I sinned and done this evil in thy sight, that thou mightiest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest…” (Psalms 51:4 KJV).

God said: “...The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise...” (Psalms 51:17 KJV). “...Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice...” (Psalms 51:16-17 MSG).

Issachar was miserable. He had “couched” between two burdens. He thought the CHRISTIAN life was PLEASANT, but in all these years, he had NEVER inherited it, joined, it, or partook in it at ALL. “... Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens: And he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

**********************************************************  

“... Issachar ...bowed his shoulder to bear, and became a servant unto tribute...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV). Issachar had come to CHRISTIANITY in his “OWN” way, but what was once thought of as PLEASANT was “now” his BURDEN.

This was a YOKE of his “OWN” making. He’d put it upon his “OWN” neck and bound his “OWNSELF” to a life of designated servitude and tributary payments.

Every day he submitted to his servitude, which he felt was his wife, his children, his ministry, and his businesses. It was what HE WANTED and he had WANTED it in his OWN WAY. He knew the bible said: “...Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls...” (Matthew 11:29 KJV). “...Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly...” (Matthew 11:29-30 MSG).

Issachar had taught this verse. Jesus helped “his people” carry their burdens in order to help prevent enduring pain and discomfort. But one would have to be “HIS” and “surrender” to his LOVE and CARE. The bible says: “..I who took care of [my people]. I led Israel along with my ropes of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from [their] neck, and I myself stooped to feed [them]. ….” (HOSEA 11 NLT). “...He careth for [his people]....” (1 Peter 5:7 KJV).

This burden was one of his OWN choosing. It wasn’t that his wife, children, ministry, or businesses were burdens, but HIS “rightful restitution,” responsibility, vows, promises, debts, and tributes, to them, were a burden. The bible verse said: “.. I lifted the yoke from [their] neck ….” (HOSEA 11 NLT).

However, Issachar was NOT one of God’s people through Jesus Christ. He didn’t BELONG to him at all. Thus, his services and tributes to the people and entities in his life were like oppressive yokes and heavy burdens. Apart from Jesus Christ, Issachar could “…do nothing…” (John 15:5 KJV).

He had gotten want HE WANTED. He was in the MIDST of these CHRISTIAN people. He was surrounded by RICHES, BLESSINGS, ADVANTAGES, and RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE and yet, it gave him no joy, pleasure, or delight.

He had PURSUED God’s STUFF, but he had NOT pursued God. He thought he HAD it and thought he could HAVE it without going through the ONE WAY God, himself, had established!

“... Issachar ...bowed his shoulder to bear,...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV). He was NOT one of the REDEEMED. He had NOT given his heart to Christ. He had NOT been repentant. He did NOT know God’s indwelling, or his grace, or his strength.

He was his OWN kind of convert. He had PAID his OWN way into the Christian arena. He had COME on his OWN strength. He had IMITATED them to the very last detail, but had totally missed Jesus Christ.

He had DONE so much for CHRISTIANITY, he felt God owned him a FREE PASS into heaven.Yet, like so many others, he was ONLY claiming to be God’s people. AND, like him, they have also been MATCHLESS in their CHRISTIAN DOINGS. “...if [you] give all [your] possessions to feed the poor, and if [you] surrender [your] body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits [you]... nothing...” (1 Corinthians 13:1-5 NASB).

“…Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied ...cast out devils... and DONE many wonderful works?And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity (gross injustice or wickedness)…” (Matthew 7:22-23 KJV)

His FLESH had profited him NOTHING!   “…It is the SPIRIT who gives “LIFE”; the flesh profits nothing…” (John 6:63 NASB). “….apart from … [God’s HOLY Spirit], [you can]… do nothing…” (John 15:5 NIV).

A human being could NOT make himself or herself a Christian without Christ. Christ MAKES the Christian. “…Therefore if any man (woman) be in Christ, he (she) is a NEW creature …” (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV). “...for in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain even of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring...” (Acts 17:28 ASV).

 “…I will put a new spirit in you. …” (Ezekiel 36:26 NLT). “... and man (woman) became a living soul (soul AGAIN)…” (GENESIS 2:7 KJV).  “…By the GRACE of God I am what I am…” (1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV). Issachar was merely an imposter and he was angry about it.

He knew all of this, yet he STILL wanted to do CHRISTIANITY “HIS” way. It wasn’t FAIR. HE’D done EVERYTHING the bible said to do. He DESERVED to get into God's Kingdom! “…I tell you the truth, anyone who sneaks over the wall of a sheepfold, rather than going through the gate, must surely be a thief and a robber!...” (John 10:1-10 NASB).

He couldn’t see PASS his stubborn and rebellious nature that his CHRISTIANITY was nothing more than usage service. He had WORKED hard to get what he WANTED of CHRISTIANITY and he’d gotten his reward. “… All their works …[are done]… to be seen of men…” (Matthew 23:5 KJV). “…Verily I say unto you, They have their reward…” (Matthew 6:5 KJV).

All of Issachar’s self-labor, self-exertion, self-will, self-dependence, self-gains, self-pieties, self-efforts, self-sacrifice, self-made Christianity had GOTTEN him what he WANTED and it had turned into servitude and forced tribute. “...they shall eat of the fruit of their own way, And be filled with their own schemes...” (Proverbs 1:31 NASB). “... Issachar ...bowed his shoulder to bear...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

“... Issachar ... became a servant unto tribute...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV). Issachar’s husband-hood, fatherhood, leadership positions, and financial endeavors are NOTHING more, to him, that “payments of tribute” without joy, without devotion, without freedom, and without love. It was more like slavery where all he felt were the constraints and weariness of each tasks.

Issachar had come into CHRISTIANITY like a THIEF and stolen what was NOT rightfully his for the taking. “…I tell you the truth, anyone who sneaks over the wall of a sheepfold, rather than going through the gate, must surely be a thief and a robber!....” (John 10:1-10 NASB).“ …the thief cometh….to steal, and to kill, and to destroy…” (John 10:10 KJV). “...“A thief must make full restitution for what is stolen...” (Exodus 22:3-4 MSG).

A THIEF must be able to pay restitution for stealing. The THIEF is accountable and responsible for the injuries and losses incurred on the people they victimized.

Issachar had STOLEN the TRUTH from his wife, his children, his ministry, and his business endeavors. Paying his restitution, to them, made him feel like a bond-servant.

Thus, his tributes were FORCED, FAKE, RELIGIOUS EXERCISES, HUMAN PERFORMANCES, and STAGED interactions.

Had Issachar come into CHRISTIANITY through Jesus, yielded his heart, bonded, with him, through holy love, and connected through the Spirit he would have been motivated by devotion and not the DRUGE of DUTY “…GOD IS SPIRIT…” (John 4:24 KJV). “… “…The Spirit of God dwell[s]… in you…” (Romans 8:9 KJV). “…God is love…” (1 John 4:8 KJV). The fruit of the Spirit is love …” (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV).  “…Love…the perfect BOND of unity...” (Colossians 3:14 NASB).

“…The …HOLY SPIRIT …is the SOURCE of [love. …it is …God who does the work IN and THROUGH all of us who are his. The HOLY SPIRIT DISPLAYS God’s power THROUGH each of us … (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT).

“…That great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work “IN US” what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “…It is God which worketh IN YOU both to will and to do of hisgood pleasure…” (Philippians 2:13 KJV).

Issachar KNEW nothing about this LOVE or INDWELLING power, personally. Therefore, he dutifully paid his dues to his wife, children, ministry, and businesses. If he DID the RIGHT THING or his DUTY that “seemed” righteous to him, why wasn’t that enough? Because it wasn’t WHAT he did, it was WHY he did it that mattered. “…There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of DEATH...” (Proverbs  14:20 KJV).

So the question remains: “WHY had he done it” Was it for himself or God’s Glory? He thought it was for God’s Glory. He thought he was IN. He thought he WAS a Christian.

He read the scriptures over and over. They angered Him. He still wanted HIS WAY to be accepted. “…I am THE DOOR: by MEif any man enter in, he shall be SAVED …” (John 10:9 KJV). “…SALVATION is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved…” (Acts 4:12 NIV). “…And there is SALVATION in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved…” (Acts 4:12 NASB).“…There is SALVATION IN NO ONE ELSE…” (Acts 4:12).

One of their assignments from the marriage group was to tell each other two characteristics you would like your spouse to work on. Virtuous wanted him to work on his pride and stubbornness, so he’d asked her to explain.

She said. “...Izzy you think you think you’re humble, but you’re not. You don’t accept constructive criticism, you like being the center of attention, you are a very good looking man, but you can be vain about it, you love teaching, but you’re not teachable, and don’t listen to others’ advice, not even your elders...”

He asked: “..and the stubbornness?...”

“...well, you act as if you afraid of change, you never admit you’re wrong, you’re unwilling to change your mind and see things from another person’s view, and you criticize anything that contradicts your personal beliefs...”

“...That’s a lot Virty. What do you suggest I do to start working on those things?...”

“....Surrender to God...”

CHAPTER 7 THE LIFE OF LUKE WARM: SHEILA ANDERSON

CHAPTER 7

LUKE WARM:

SHEILA ANDERSON

                            

God “…be sure your sin will find you out.…”(Numbers 32:23 KJV). “...you can be sure that your sin will track you down...” (Number 32:23 MSG).

*

It had taken two years, but she had finally discovered the truth. She followed him to Broad Street one night, parked as he drove up and down the street, saw him pick up the young prostitute, and watched them go into Broadway Inn motel together.

She was disgusted beyond words. How much more could she take? She had done everything God told her to do. She’d forgiven him countless times. She’d showed him continual kindness. She was gracious and merciful. She treated him with undeserved respectful and she’d kept her hands in God’s hands.

He looked happy and carefree as he and the young prostitute walked down to room 7. Her flesh screamed with the desire to go and knocked on the door, beat the heck out of both of them, or burn the whole place down, but she sat there and asked God for help.

She believed her marriage was God’s will, but this was NOT how she’d imagined it. She thought it would be a marriage made in heaven, but did that mean it would be all light and flowers? No, but did it mean THIS?

She drove away. It would be nice to say she got it together, trusted God, was immediately empowered to do the right thing, but she didn’t.

She was angry and disappointed. Regret slowly began to fill her heart and she wished she’d never met him, married him, or knew him. This was NOT something she could talk over with a friend and a cup of coffee.

She kept it to herself for weeks and she was so different, he kept asking her what was wrong. The desire to release her rage upon him was a constant temptation and the wedge, between them, took advantage of the situation and she let it.

She thought about having an affair herself as a payback for what he was doing, but that wasn’t who she was. She thought about leaving him once and for all, but it would be a selfish move on her part. This wasn’t simply about her.

Deep inside she knew, in spite of it all, God was with her and he was the answer. Nonetheless, she was on the brink of stepping over into abyss and forgetting everything and everybody. She didn’t want to be on this journey anymore. She wished she could erase all the bad stuff and rewrite her life’s story, but she couldn’t.

Did Christians go through this? God whispered in her heart to read the book of Hosea. “...The beginning of the word of the Lord by Hosea. And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord...” (Hosea 1:2 KJV). “...The first time God spoke to Hosea he said: “Find a whore and marry her. Make this whore the mother of your children. And here’s why: This whole countryhas become a whorehouse, unfaithful to me, God...” (Hosea 1:2 MSG).

She had FOUND a whoremonger, married him, and he was the father of her children. UGH?The story in the book of Hosea continued: “...I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, Thou art my people; and they shall say, Thou art my God...” (Hosea 2:23 KJV).

She actually judged God for being too LOVING and too MERCIFUL. As far as she was concerned, her husband didn’t deserve God’s mercy. “... God said to Moses, “I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.” So it is God who decides to show mercy. We can neither choose it nor work for it...” (Romans 9:14-16 NLT).

 “...HE DELIGHTETH IN MERCY…” (Micah 7:18 KJV). “..come boldly unto the throne of GRACE ...[and] ... obtain mercy…” (Hebrews 4:16 KJV).

God is“... RICH IN MERCY…” (Ephesians 2:1-5 KJV). (Isaiah 63:9 NASB). “…Mercy triumphs over judgement.” (James 2:13 NASB).

She wept over God’s mercy, but was appreciative of it. Yet, she didn’t think she could demonstrate or express that kind of mercy to her husband. “...I can DO ALL THINGS through Christ…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV). “…It is God who works IN YOU TO WILL and TO ACT (DO)…” (Philippians 2:13 NIV). “…He helps [his people]…” (Psalms 28:7 NLT). “… The Holy Spirit helps [his people] in [their] weakness…” (Romans 8:26 NLT).

She argued with God and told him he was the one loving and merciful, not her. “...if ye love me, KEEP my commandments…” (John 14:15 KJV). “…In this world [god’s people]... are like Jesus…” (1 John 4:17 NIV). “...Be … imitators of [Jesus]…”(Hebrews 12:14; Ephesians 5:1 ASV).  “… [Therefore, on the journey, God’s people are]…  all … are changed into the same image [of Christ] from glory to glory …” (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV).

She wept for days over what God was asking her to do. Her flesh didn’t want to, but the indwelling Holy Spirit wanted to work “in” and “through” her. “… The Holy Spirit helps [his people] in [their]... weakness…” (Romans 8:26 NLT). “…You are my helper and my savior…” (Psalms 40:17 NLT). “…It is …God [the indwelling Holy Spirit] ... who does the work IN and THROUGH all of us who are his… (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). “…God …works in [his people] TO WILL and TO ACT   in order to fulfill his good purpose…” (Philippians 2:13 NIV).

She KNEW God’s Word, she studied it, she memorized it, and she had regular quiet time with God, but this TEST of FAITH required “real life” application.

It was humanly impossible to continue to love someone like her husband. She’d determined he was a wretched man who “thought” he was someone he was NOT. He was a self-invented, which made him live in self-denial and self-delusion.

While she judged her husband mercilessly, she continued to read the book of Hosea. When she finished she saw God as immutably faithful to his covenant people REGARDLESS of their continual betrayals. “…If [God’s people] are unfaithful [to the “covenant unity” relationship], he [God, the Holy Spirit]... remains faithful,for he cannot deny who he is…” (2 Timothy 2:13 NLT). “…I am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV). “… “I AM WHO I AM…” (Exodus 3:14-15 NASB).

She LOCKED herself away with God’s Word. “…. Again and again he rescued them, but they chose to rebel against him... Even so, he pitied them in their distress and listened to their cries. He remembered his covenantwith them and relented because of his unfailing love. He even caused their captors to treat them with kindness. Save us, O Lord our God! Gather us back from among the nations, so we can thank your holy nameand rejoice and praise you. Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! Let all the people say, “Amen!” Praise the Lord!” (Psalms 106:42-48 NLT).

“…He remembered his covenant with them and relented because of his unfailing love…” (Psalms 106:42-48 NLT).

“…The Lordloves His people …” (2 Chronicles 2:11 NASB). “…For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more…" (Hebrews 8:12 NIV). His “…love covereth a multitude of sins…” (Proverbs 10:12, 1 Peter 4:8 ASV).

“…They defiled themselves[again]...by their evil deeds, and their love of idols was adultery in the Lord’s sight ....Again and again he rescued them, but they chose to rebel against him,…” (Psalm 106:39-43 NLT).

 “…, …[His people said:]...we will continue to live as we want to, stubbornly following our own evil desires…” (JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT). “…[God said:]... my people have stubborn and rebellious hearts. They have turned away and ABANDONED me….” (JEREMIAH 5:23 NLT). “…My people would not listen to me. They kept doing whatever they wanted…” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT).

“...[Nothing] shall be able to “separate [his people]... from the love of God, which is “in” Christ…” (Romans 8:38-39). “…I am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV). “… “I AM WHO I AM…” (Exodus 3:14-15 NASB).

She KNEW what God was asking her to do. “...But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings..” (1 Peter 4:13 KJV).“...And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together...” (Romans 8:17 KJV).

“..Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things he suffered…” (Hebrews 5:8 KJV). ‘...he (she) that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;...” (1 Peter 4:1 KJV).

“...Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner ... We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!...” (Romans 8:17 & 1 Peter 4:13 MSG).

“...Blessed is the man (woman) that endureth temptation: for when he (she) is tried, he(she) shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him...” (James 1:12 KJV).

“...though he slay me (though it feels like he’s killing me), yet will I trust in him…” (Job 13:15 KJV). “... I ...[choose to] ... die daily...” (1 Corinthians 15:31 KJV).

“...He (Jesus) [entrusted]... Himselfover to [God] ...” (1 Peter 2:23 KJV). It took some time, but with the help of God’s POWERFUL Word and the empowerment of his indwelling Holy Spirit, she got on board with God’s sovereign will.

Her marriage was made in heaven, but she had a NEW perspective of what that meant. “…Ye shall know [God’s people]… by their fruits…” (Matthew 7:16 KJV). “…He(she) who ABIDES in Me and I in him (her), he(she) bears much fruit  …” (John 15:1-11 NASB). "…My Father is glorified (his presence, goodness, and working power is made known) by this, that...[HIS PEOPLE]... bear much fruit, and so PROVE to be My disciples (MY PEOPLE)...” (John 15:8 NIV).

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit  ... love...self-control (obedience). …” (Galatians 5 NLT).

“… In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God,neither he that loveth not his brother…” (1 John 3:10 KJV). “…All men (women) will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another…" (John 13:35 NASB).

Like an empty glass of water, God’s indwelling Spirit filled her heart with his HOLY LOVE and he enabled to continue to love her unfaithful husband.

She had learned something truly valuable about God’s love for his wayward people even when they commited apostasy, His HOLY love was unconditional and immutable. "...I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned away from them.’...” (Hosea 14:2-4 KJV).

Her husband may be an adulterous man, but God, nonetheless, had called her to be a faithful wife. Though he had dishonored her, their children, his ministry, and everything else, she was to remain God child and daughter through the demonstration of his love, mercy, and grace.

To love like God loved was COSTLY, especially when the one you love has turned their backs on you.

She may not be guilty of the same sins as her husband, but before Christ, she was just as wretched as he was. There are no greater or lessor sins: sin is sin to a HOLY God.

She had SEEN God’s heart of committed HOLY love for her too. She couldn’t OVERLOOK her husband’s wrongs, but God’s LOVE helped her COVER them.

It STILL hurt and she STILL hated what he’d done or was doing. But she got back on board. She stumbled a few times. She squirmed when she remembered parts of their first conversation. “...Please...listen to me...”

“...David, or whatever you name is, get out of my face. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say! You make me sick! We are living in the freaking twilight zone....” She began to cry loudly like a child getting a spanking.

She studied, prayed, trusted, but she didn’t think she could love him beyond what he’d done. She wished she’d never found out, but if she hadn’t she would still be living a lie.

“...I promise I won’t ever do it again. I’ll go see a doctor! Anything ... anything you want! Just don’t leave me.” He reached for her, but she escaped his touch.

“Don’t’ touch me! Don’t ever touch me again! I WANT A DIVORCE!”

“...You can’t mean that. We’ve been through so much together. We have a family. We have a ministry. We have a decent life...”

“You should have thought about that life while you were on Board Street. Were you thinking about that then... you hypocrite?” After all that studying she was so livid with anger, on their first conversation and she couldn’t be reasoned with. She wanted to hurt him.... just the way he’d done her.

“...I said I wouldn’t do it again. I am appealing to your Christian side. Please hear me out...”

“...I’m listening!” David looked away. His wife didn’t know the half of it. She’d only saw a glimpse of what his sexual habits entailed. If she knew everything he’d done, then she’d really want out. Yet, he was going to tell her anyway.

‘... I do have a problem. I can’t help what   I’m doing...”

“Oh ... please! It’s always someone else’s fault!” She was being rude, but at the moment, she couldn’t stand the sight of him.

“OMG, can’t you stop for one minute. I’m serious... I’m a sex addict.” He went to a drawer, pulled out some pamphlets and handed them to her. She took them, but didn’t look at them.

 “...A sex addict! Is that something new you’ve invented?...” He shook his head

“...It’s a compulsive sexual behavior... I go into a trance like state...” She remembered covering her ears and walking out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

She blew it! She blew her witness. She failed God and she felt horrible about it. She didn’t want do this, but she knew she had too.  Eventually, she looked over the pamphlets he’d given her and called his therapist Harold.

They begin to work on it. Without God, the monstrosity of revelations would have been too much for her. Initially, she became a little co-dependent. She’d found handcuffs, bandannas, and condoms in his ministry briefcase. She’d followed him down Broad Street again.

She was checking his phone, the bank account, his whereabouts, and the mileage on his car.

Her normally trusting nature had been challenged in the worst way. She found herself being snappy and smart-alecky, but David was patient. He was grateful to her no matter what she did. He felt he deserved whatever she did to him.

One day, her flesh, finally calmed down. She looked at herself in the mirror and she didn’t look well. Even the children wondered if something was wrong. Truly it is easier to READ about God’s love than it was to practice it, but she was going to CHOOSE to do it no matter what.

There was human blueprint on how to deal with the issues she was facing, but she had God’s instructions to help her. Everything will be okay. Overwhelming victory is mine. No weapon formed against me will prosper. I’ll never leave you or forsake you. She called Harold. He talked to her about co-dependents and she had many of the characteristics, especially recently.

She felt God’s peace embrace her soul. She wasn’t alone. Harold gave her a number to a support group and told her to use an alias. She humbly dialed the number. “...Hello, Dr. Pat... this is Sheila Anderson...”

 

CHAPTER 6 THE LIFE OF LUKE WARM: THE BIBLICAL ISSACHAR

CHAPTER 6

LUKE WARM:

                              THE BIBLICAL ISSACHAR

 “... Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens: And he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant; and bowed his shoulder to bear, and became a servant unto tribute...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

                *

Virtuous sat speechless in the family den watching the credits. She had the house to herself. Instead of reading her latest novel she watched a video of Issachar’s grandfather, Luke Isaac Warm, whom Izzy called Poppy, preaching. The Pastor of Son City Ministries found the video in the archives and gave it to her.

No one had seen this one yet, but her. The Pastor said he would leave it to her discretion to show it to the rest of the Warm family. Virtuous knew that Issachar’s Poppy was a bible teacher and licensed minister. She had heard some of his tapes and saw some of his other videos, but not this one.

It was a teaching on Genesis 49:14-15 about a man named Issachar. Virtuous had NEVER heard of him before and she’d been in church her whole life.

She had always wondered why his grandfather named her husband Issachar and where he’d gotten the name. She was surprised that Issachar was a real bible character.

She read: “... Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV). In the video Poppy described Issachar. “...a strong ass...” He talked about the ass, which is another name for donkey, being a POWERFUL animal, with a STRONG body that could patiently carry its burdens. The ass was also a SWIFT, DOMESTIC beast of burden.

The ASS, which carried its burden and was a strong and powerful animal. It was often perceived, by MOST people, as lazy and stupid. But the ASS may not be lazy or stupid at all, but REBELLIOUS.

For years, in human history, the ASS have helped and contributed to human labor, agriculture, travel, transportation, was ridden by calvary, and pulled chariots. That didn’t sound lazy or stupid to her. They were also VERY valuable, at one time, and associated with the wealthy.

However, they suffered great abuse, because of their stubbornness to OBEY commands. God often tells humans NOT to think more highly of themselves than they should. ASSES would stop working because they “instinctly” knew their LIMITATIONS.

In addition, stupid is also associated with ASSES, but, again, “rebellious” is a MORE appropriate description.

It is possible that their REBELLIOUS nature made them appear unwise, senseless, thoughtless, irresponsible, injudicious, rash, imprudent or STUPID, but they are NOT.

Virtuous believed the label STUPID really derived from the fact that “this” animal WANTS to do what it wants or CHOOSES TO DO.

On another note, the ASS may really be SMARTER than humans give them credit for. They have great stamina, they need less food, they are not easily startled, they know what they can or cannot do, and maybe these qualities are what make them “SEEM” stupid and become too stubborn for their own good.

Mankind gave the ASS the human labels of stupid, lazy, and stubborn, but God, the Holy Spirit, created this animal. EVERYTHING Gof created was good and had a divine purpose. Being an example of rebellious, to teach mankind lessons, is PURPOSE too.

“... Issachar is a strong ass...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV). Issachar, the ASS, may have had great stamina too, was not easily startled by life, knew what he could or couldn’t do, and maybe those qualities made him unwise or too stubborn for their own good.

So, “... Issachar is a strong ass [that is found, in the bible]... couching down between two burdens...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

Issachar CROUCHED, bent, bowed, squatted, stooped, hunkered DOWN "between” TWO places.

During Issachar’s time this referred to sheepfolds or PENS, where sheep or cattle were put during the night. These sheepfolds or PENS were DIVIDED into two parts where one was for the larger animals and the other for the smaller animals.

“... Issachar is ... [found]... couching down between two burdens...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

Crouching down between TWO burdens also meant an ASS would have sacks of corn hanging on one side and bales of goods hanging on the other when they came to a good pasture. They would lie down with BOTH burdens on them and rise up with them too. Thus, “...between two burdens...”

Issachar made a decision to CROUCH down between TWO BORDERS, actually, which was similar to crouched between two BURDENS.

One BORDER he shared with his people (tribe) and the other BORDER he shared with foreigners.

Issachar SAW the land he wanted and stubbornly rested there instead of GOING into the battle, or the tented fields or war, or the struggle for freedom with his TRIBE in order to get to the PROMISED LAND. Issachar was equipped, but didn’t want to put up the effort or exertion it would take for the necessary devotion to agriculture and pastoral pursuits. “... Issachar ...saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

So he willingly choose to STAY “crouched” on the BORDER, which meant he would have the BURDEN of paying a TRIBUTE to his foreign neighbors, especially if he wanted to secure their protection.

He also established a close connection with Zebulon, his foreign neighbor, too.“... Issachar ...bowed his shoulder to bear, and became a servant unto tribute...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

Thus, Issachar submits to BOTH or two burdens willingly choosing a life of a burden bearer and a payer or “servant” of “forced” or “false” tribute. Like the ASS he becomes a HIRELING by disposition as his name implies.

The PROMISED LAND belonged to JACOB’S descendants, which included Issachar, the fifth son, of Jacob and Leah. “...And Jacob said unto Joseph, God Almighty appeared unto me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and blessed me, And said unto me, Behold, I will make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, and I will make of thee a multitude of people; and will give this land to thy seed after thee for an everlasting possession...” (Genesis 47:3-6 KJV).

“...Jacob said to Joseph, “The Strong God appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan and blessed me. He said, ‘I’m going to make you prosperous and numerous, turn you into a congregation of tribes; and I’ll turn this land over to your children coming after you as a permanent inheritance.’ I’m adopting your two sons who were born to you here in Egypt before I joined you; they have equal status with Reuben and Simeon. But any children born after them are yours; they will come after their brothers in matters of inheritance. I want it this way...” (Genesis 48:3-6 MSG).

Issachar was part of the promised INHERITANCE, but he WANTED to do it HIS WAY. That’s why “... Issachar is ... [found]... couching down between two burdens...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV). Issachar BECAME a tributary servant which meant he paid servitude to a foreign sovereignty as long as he stayed “crouched” on that border. It required LABOR and “FORCED” tribute whether Issachar liked it or not.

Virtuous was speechless. She now understood why his grandfather had named him Issachar. For years he was simply Luke Warm then on his own volition he began to go by Issachar.

Both names had prophetic implications to the life her husband had lived and maybe many of Christians too.

Virtuous never knew her husband when he was Luke Warm. He met him after he started calling himself Issachar. Plus, she’d always called in Izzy for short.

Virtuous remembered an old Sunday School verse on lukewarm Christians. She went to look up the passage and read it.  “...So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will vomit you out of My mouth....” (Revelation 3:16 NASB).

She’d learned about this verse in her youth. Deacon Meadows taught them that “spew” meant to vomit. When someone vomits it is their body’s way of protecting them from something HARMFUL. It is a NATURAL response to EXPEL HARMFUL things from the body.

Thus, it is a supernatural response for God, the Holy Spirit, through Jesus to EXPEL the lukewarm Christian from the church body. “...because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue (vomit) thee out of my mouth (my body)...” (Revelation 3:16 KJV). “...Write to Laodicea, to the Angel of the church. God’s Yes, the Faithful and Accurate Witness, the First of God’s creation, says: “I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You’re not cold, you’re not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You’re stale. You’re stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, ‘I’m rich, I’ve got it made, I need nothing from anyone,’ oblivious that in fact you’re a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless...” (Revelations 3: 14-16 KJV).

“...He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches. And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God; I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.  So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth...” (Revelations 3:13-16 KJV).

Virtuous was beginning to understand that the lukewarm Christian derived from those who attempted to serve God, the Holy Spirit, and serve the sinful nature too. They are STUCK between TWO opinions or CROUCHED between two burdens.

“...And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word...” (1 Kings 18:21 KJV).“... couching down between two burdens...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

“...No man (woman) can serve two masters: for either he (she) will hate the one, and love the other; or else he (she) will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon...” (Matthew 6:24 KJV).

The lukewarm does a LOT of religious things, but doesn’t really care about what they’re doing. Thus, the lukewarm faithfully do their duty, put in their time, contend with religious duties, attend to their moral tasks, but it is only a FORM of godliness that denies the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. “... Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.  For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth...” (2 Timothy 3:5-7 KJV).

“...Don’t be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people...” (2 Timothy 3:1-5 MSG).

“...These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself “truth.” They get exploited every time and never really learn. These men are like those old Egyptian frauds Jannes and Jambres, who challenged Moses. They were rejects from the faith, twisted in their thinking, defying truth itself. But nothing will come of these latest impostors...” (2 Timothy 3:6-9 MSG).

Lukewarm people had NO “real” heartfelt concern about giving Glory to God, or the interest of Jesus Christ, or his truth. This was the condition of Laodicea Church in Revelations.

God, the Holy Spirit, through Jesus, his Word says he WILL “vomit” lukewarm people OUT of his body! “ … the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these …” (Galatians 5:20-22  NASB).

 “... immorality, impurity, sensuality...and things like these …” (Galatians 5:20-22  NASB). These kind of sinful practices include adultery, fornication, and uncleanness.

These kinds of deeds justifies or condones  having sex outside of marriage, with a married person, single person, same sex person, bestiality, with the lusts of the eyes through pornography, prostitutes (male or female), lusts of the flesh, whore-mongering (male or female), incest, rape, sexually abusing another, or any other form of sexual perversion.

It also includes apostasy or unfaithfulness to God with idols (people or things), denying the power of God, or lukewarm-ness. In addition, all immoral behavior is anything in opposition of purity and holiness, including being lukewarm.

“... I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God...” (Galatians 5:19-21 NASB).

Virtuous didn’t know Luke Warm, but she KNEW Issachar and they were not much different.

Her husband was the ASS that had crouched down between TWO burdens She, the children, the ministry, and his businesses were one of his BURDENS.

Issachar lied down with BOTH burdens on his back day after day, year after year and he’d rise up with them too.

Issachar made a decision to CROUCH down between these two BURDENS. Issachar SAW the life he wanted and stubbornly he rested in “that” place. “... Issachar ...saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant...” (Genesis 49:14-15 KJV).

His grandfather had said the biblical Issachar BECAME a tributary servant which meant he paid servitude to a foreign sovereignty as long as he stayed “crouched” on that border. It required LABOR and “FORCED” tribute whether Issachar liked it or not.

Virtuous put her bible, journal, and study books away. Who was Issachar paying “forced” or “fake” tribute to? She knew what she had to do next.

 

CHAPTER 5 THE LIFE OF LUKE WARM: THE GOOD HUSBAND

                                 CHAPTER 5

LUKE WARM:

THE GOOD HUSBAND

  “...God sees not as mansees, for man looks at the outward appearance, …” (1 Samuel 16:7 NASB).

                              *

Virtuous still had lipstick on from the night before. She and Issachar had celebrated their 20thanniversary. Where had the time gone, Faith was 15, Hope was 14, the twins, Joshua and Joseph were 13.

Issachar had taken her to see her favorite comedian and to an elegant 5-course dinner. It was a fairytale set-up. Issachar was charismatic, debonair, Prince Charming even, and so attentive. He didn’t have a clue she felt NONE of it and hadn’t for a decade, but he wouldn’t stop acting as if he as ALL IN.

Their relationship, as far as she was concerned, had spiraled downward. Issachar had become someone else in her eyes. He acted as if NOTHING had happened and he expected her to do the same. It was bothersome and she was a horrible pretender.

Issachar demanded endless attention as though he’d earned it with all of his “good husband” deeds. He had NO PROBLEM telling her when she was responding to him, wrong or showing her he was angry by her attitudes or reactions.

Somehow the wedge between them became her fault and she was the one who needed to work harder on their relationship, particularly to PLEASE him.

The dynamics between them played manipulatively and deceptively in HIS favor. Virtuous would attempt to discuss an issue with him concerning his unfavorable behavior and somehow they would end up talking about an unfavorable behavior of hers.

When the discussion was over, she would end up second-guessing herself and wondering rather she was the problem and not him.

Issachar was the “good husband” personified both in private and in public. any conversation Virtuous tried to have, with him, would end up with some character flaw of hers.

Issachar had kicked Virtuous off his pedestal and she was happy about it, but he NEVER planned to forgive her either for NOT living up to “his” ideal of perfect.

People liked Issachar. He was ELECTRIFYING and could capture your heart with so little effort. When his magnificent light shone on her, she felt special as hell. But Virtuous had no more illusions about her husband.

The revelation, she’d had, of the “real” Issachar L. Warm was painful for Virtuous. She SAW him and she could NEVER un-SEE him again. He didn’t like it either. He would have never made himself known to Virtuous. Now he was hypersensitive to any criticisms, real or imagined, she might make of his character or conduct.

If her words were nothing short of flattery, his anger would instantly be triggered and if he could, he would stitch her lips together with a real needle and thread.

Virtuous was a genuine, authentic and honest person, but anytime she tried to express that side of herself, Issachar would immediately shut her down.

If she wasn’t serving him flattery and praise he would remove himself from her presence. She had gotten quiet over the years because she knew what her “good husband” shared with her wasn’t real love.

The “real” Issachar had knocked her off balance, for a minute, and her foundation was rattled. She has NEVER felt emotionally safe with him again.

Issachar was arrogant about who he THOUGHT he actually was and so into doing his “good husband,” “good father” “good leader,” and “good businessman” performances, he couldn’t SEE anyone or anything else.

Virtuous, when she was HIS ideal of a perfect woman, had only been, in Issachar’s mind, an extension of his invention. He NEVER saw the real her and still didn’t.

From the beginning, she’d sensed he only praised her for who HE THOUGHT she was or wanted her to be. She, herself, believed his attention was romance, but it wasn’t. Virtuous mistook his attention for intimacy too, but that was impossible when he couldn’t see her and evidently she wasn’t seeing him either.

All those years ago - when she dared to ask for her needs to be met in a different way - he stream-rolled over them like they were nothing.

All she was doing was telling her “good husband” how she was feeling, but it triggered something “angry” in him and nothing, between them, had been the same since then.

It blew her mind how Issachar would so easily condemn her in their private conversations. This same man who acted as if he’d truly cherished her now treated her with disdain when no one was watching but the two of them.

Virtuous didn’t fear Issachar, but she DID often feel intimidated by his narcissism, his wrath, his power, his indirect threats, and his subtle criticisms. She very seldom spoke up anymore and her true self practically disappeared when they were, alone, together.

Issachar THOUGHT he controlled her, their life, and their world. He THOUGHT he had her where he wanted her, but he didn’t. Virtuous was a meek woman, but she was POWERFUL She had CHOSEN to stay with him. She STAYED, because of her love for God, her children, the people under “his” ministry, those who worked in his business, and for Issachar. In spite of his asshole-ness....she loved him too!

It was her cross to bear, for now, until God said different and she believed, with her whole heart, that God would work ALL of this together for some greater good.

For now she often felt like she had to tiptoe through her life with Issachar in order to keep the peace for everyone.

Virtuous had to be ever so careful, if she wanted to keep life as normal as possible for the family, to give him the praise his ego felt he deserved for being such a “good husband.”

He gave her NO emotional support, but she SAW how “readily” he was FUELED by the emotional support she so FREELY offered to him.

Virtuous learned to pray more than ever before. She learned to truly trust and depend upon the indwelling Holy Spirit to enable her, strengthen her, and empowered her to do the assignment she was called to do.

Much was being required of Virtuous, but God gave and equipped her with what she needed or she would NEVER have made it this far in her marriage to Issachar.

Her faith had been tested to the brink and sometimes she felt INVISIBLE and as if she had NOTHING left to give. In the beginning she wondered why God would require her to GIVE so much assurance and attention to Issachar, but she, herself, got so little.

In their secret conversations Issachar had no problem tearing her down while she built him up as God requested. Then one day she was studying the scriptures and found these verses. “…[God, the Holy Spirit]...will supply all your NEED…” (John 12:32 KJV). “...He (God, the Holy Spirit) careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 KJV).“…The LORD “WILL” accomplish (take care of)…that which concerns [HIS people]…” (John 14:31 NASB). “…His [“HOLY” indwelling] POWER hath GIVEN unto [his people]… ALL THINGS that pertain unto life and godliness…” (2 Peter 1:3 KJV). “…Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable GIFT...[“IN” Jesus Christ]…” (2 Corinthians  9:16 KJV).  “... God will supply all [their need]…” (Philippians 4:19 NASB).

Virtuous asked herself: Do I already have everything I need? Can Issachar’s criticisms or put downs change who God created me to be? If God has already told her who she is, what difference does Issachar’s opinion make?

Virtuous continued to study.  “…God is love…” (1 John 4:4-8 KJV). “…Love does NO HARM to his neighbor…” (Romans 13:10 NASB). “…The plans [God has]…for you (His people)….[are]… plans to prosper you and not to harm you...” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). “…Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man (woman), the things which God hath prepared for them that love him...” (1 Corinthians 2:9 KJV). “...I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster...” (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT). “... I know the thoughtsthat I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end...” (Jeremiah 29:11 KJV).

Virtuous realized God loved her and he hadn’t given her the assignment with Issachar to harm her, but to help her. All these years of her “good husband’s” put-downs she had survived with God’s help.

In fact, in spite of his criticisms she was the one building HIM UP, which meant God had already generously supplied and provided her with enough spiritual fruit to share with her husband. The scripture said: “…God (the Holy Spirit) is the one who provides …” (2 Corinthians 9:10-13 KJV).  “…God (the Holy Spirit) will generously PROVIDE all [the of his children’s] need …” (2 Corinthians 9:8 NLT).

Issachar had NO POWER to destroy who she was “IN” Christ Jesus. He was the one constantly soliciting her love, her kindness, her attention, her generosity, her grace, her mercy, he care etc., because she had it, through the indwelling Holy Spirit, and he didn’t.

Issachar SAW her LIGHT. If he didn’t he’d have NOTHING to put down. He thought, however, if he could put her down or keep her down, it would build him up. Issachar had the need to criticize her and not the other way around.

Issachar KNEW she had the indwelling Holy Spirit, which was producing spiritual fruit “IN” and “THROUGH,” but she couldn’t SEE it. So Issachar took advantage of her lack of knowledge about who she was in Christ by showing how GRAND he was in comparison to her.

Issachar NEEDED to criticize her, because he was trying to secretly compete with who she was IN Christ, but without the Holy Spirit, he was in a losing battle.

Virtuous read: “…The TRUTH (found in God’s Word) shall MAKE YOU FREE…” (JOHN 8:32 KJV).

Virtuous was, eventually liberated from Issachar’s narcissistic ways through God’s Word. It clearly upset him that he didn’t have the same effect on her as he once did.

His private character got uglier while she became more and more Christlike. It had taken Virtuous years to get here, but she’d made it. She was FREE from her parents “ideal” of perfect and her “good husband’s.” God’s grace was sufficient for her now, especially since she discovered she was a NEW CREATION in Christ Jesus.

This marriage to Issachar was a test and it had helped her discover her authentic self through painful experiences and emotional stress, but she’d had overwhelming victory! She read: “... In him (Jesus) we live (have spiritual life), and move (produce spiritual fruit), and have our being (have a spiritual identity as a new creation) ...For we are ... his offspring...” (Acts 17:28 KJV).

“... Here on earth [God’s people]... will have many trials and sorrows..." (John 16:44 NLT). Yet, “...despite all these things, overwhelming victory is [thei]rs ...” (Romans 8:37 NLT).

It didn’t matter what Issachar thought any more. It wasn’t easy to deal with his critical ways at times, but she no longer needed his approval or HIS affirmations.

He wasn’t a “good husband,” but she’d put him into the hands of the Lord and concerned herself with keeping God’s commandment for herself.

Virtuous no LONGER held onto the fantasy that Issachar would change, plus his conversion was between him and God. But one thing she was certain of Issachar was too stubborn for his own good. If he didn’t truly give or surrender his heart and life to God, he was willfully choosing to go straight to hell.

CHAPTER 4 THE LIFE OF LUKE WARM: DAVID ANDERSON

 

                   

                 CHAPTER 4

                    LUKE WARM:

                                                DAVID ANDERSON

“…There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of DEATH...” (Proverbs  14:20 KJV).

*

David Anderson drove up and down Broad Street wondering, like always, should he pick someone up or not. He told himself a thousand he should stop and years have passed since that first promise. He was still cruising.

When it came to his weakness, vows resolutions, and promises meant nothing. He’d driven this path so often he could do it blindfolded. The first time he’d come to a place like this he was 13 years old.

An older cousin, who was 16, told him it was time to become a man. So he took David to the red light district. The young girl looked no older than he did, but she knew what she was doing.

She must have touched every single part of his body and his feelings came alive like the evening street lights. Nothing in all of his life had made he feel so incredibly alive. It felt good and nurturing. He was so calm and peaceful afterwards that he couldn’t wait to come back. And he’d been coming back ever since.

Sex had set his young soul free and he idolized it or maybe even worshipped it. Years had passed and his passion had not changed, weaned, or waivered. He always preferred the youngest one just like his first encounter. He was wretched about his lustful ways, but he didn’t care.

He was going to stop soon, the faces were becoming blurred and the bodies easily forgotten. It was just a fix for him and nothing else. He could have written a volume on the unending hunger of his carnal appetite. It was NEVER satisfied.

David refused to use pornography, dirty magazines, browse bookstores, or watch x-rated videos. If he couldn’t get what he wanted, exactly how he wanted it; he would do without, which was rare.

He liked the whole process. His emotions began to light up the moment he drove into the district, his body came alive, his mind became busy with anticipation, and his whole being was in a tizzy.

The visual thrill of watching the prostitutes walking back and forth was intoxicating. One of them would be with David in a few moments and his heart raced with excitement.

He didn’t have to come to the district. He could get action any time he wanted it with a single phone call to a toll free number. There were personal massages, dirty phone sex, sauna parlors connected to certain hotels, in any town in the USA, where young, ripe beautiful women routinely worked, but he wasn’t interested.

Some men worked for companies who hired public relations consultants, a fancy word for prostitute and they could have whatever they wanted. Sometimes they’d listen to their CB radios and find out what women drove pickups or vans with handles like pussycat or cuddles. Certain women worked the nation’s truck stops and rest areas. David avoided those kinds of connections.

Over the years, David had spent a fortune on prostitutes and he was getting ready to do it again. This was going to be his last time. He swore to himself! But he knew, as soon as the thoughts entered his mind, it was just another lie he told himself.

David Anderson couldn’t stop himself. He was a sex addict. His desire for the illicit would come after him every time he blinked his eyes, like a terrible rash and the only way to get relief....was to scratch it.

Sex demons screamed in his head...just one more time David, that’s all, one more time...over and over again the temptations urged him on...until he’d find himself cruising down Broad street. Here I am again searching for that rush...that thrill. David’s mind was completely engrossed in the moment and his obsession drove him on.

He’d been cruising for forty minutes, which was foreplay to him. The hunt and the prowl were just as thrilling as the conquest. The prospect of picking someone up was exhilarating too. His ritual started with the cruising, which filled his mind with memories of other successful forays, adding arousal and excitement to his routine.

David could actually smell the aromas, hear the music, picture the sleazy hotel room, feel the girl’s butterfly touches...he was ready for euphoria! His mind was so hyped! He didn’t care about the despair or the feelings of utter hopelessness he knew he’d feel afterwards.

There was ALWAYS the post-letdown when it was over, because he’d failed again to keep his promises to himself. There was also the nagging fear that maybe he’d never be able to stop. There were loads of self-hatred, shame, and despair, which would begin the cycle again.

This cycle of behavior waited for him in the wings, beckoning to him with open arms, and promising him calm and peace. David answered the call every single time, without fail, as he was at this moment.

He looked over the young streetwalkers. He’d already passed by them several times. He knew which one he wanted. He finally stopped the car and the pretty girl slid into the seat beside him. She knew what he wanted. She’d had him a couple of times before. David’s eyes were transfixed as he handed her the handcuffs and bandanna.

The girl already had a room. She already knew what David wanted and in a few minutes it would be over. He was the easiest five hundred dollar, which made David her favorite john. She could take the rest of the night off. They pulled into the Broadway Inn and he followed her to room seven.

Less than an hour later, the girl left and David sat in room 7 alone. He really was trying to stop and had phone therapy weekly, but his therapist had given him an ultimatum.

His therapist had been a sex addict himself. The program, he was going through, was intense and it that had helped hundreds of others overcome their sexual addictions. David had paid thousands of dollars to get into the program. He had, also, agreed to follow the program guidelines, because if he didn’t they would kick him out.

David didn’t want to get kicked out of the program, but this was his third and last strike. Harold, his therapist, knew every time he messed up. David wanted to finish the program. He’d done his research and knew this program was the best in the country or there was an excellent 28 day program in Thailand. No Thanks, he thought.

Why couldn’t he control this behavior? Why couldn’t he manage this inner hunger? Why was he so preoccuped with it? Harold was also a licensed pastoral counselor at Son City Ministries.

He wanted David to see him in person, but he’d said no. He already knew a Son City member that frequent Board Street and he didn’t want to run into anyone who might know him too!

Harold thought if David came out of hiding, it would be another “real” step toward his sobriety. He said together, they had already identified his addictive and unhealthy behaviors, but if David didn’t keep moving forward he would go right back into full blown addiction.

Harold promised their meeting would be private and confidential. Harold wanted to ensure David was on the right track with all the therapeutic approaches necessary to manage his addiction.

They had talked about David’s core beliefs, his focus, his spiritual life, needed lifestyle changes, maintaining the proper diet, his sleep patterns, and psycho education, but they had not talked about his possible need for medications, which would require an in-person visit.

When they pinpointed his problem it wasn’t merely the sex addiction itself, but it was what was going on in David’s brain, mentally, that made him do the things he did.

Harold warned David he needed to engage in the whole approach in order to manage his addiction. There was a very high relapse rate for addicts, period. Harold’s recovery was awesome and he’d been clean for years, but there was no data to show the actually recovery rates for sex addicts long-term.

Harold said it was good for David to connect with other addicts, like himself, because it was a powerful remedy.

Talk therapy with Harold made David feel he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t the only one with this problem and some people were worst then he was.

However, sitting, alone, in room 7, suffering through his tirade of guilt, shame, blame, and self-hatred made him feel ostracized. He was a sex addict and it was considered a disease. Unfortunately, David had never stayed sober more than a few days.

David Anderson was a husband, father, leader, and millionaire. He’d given his heart, mind, and emotions to his addiction, but he paid tribute to his wife, children, leadership role, and his economic status.

Paying tribute to his wife, children, leadership role and his economic status was both painful and oppressive. He was a devoted servant to his addiction, but a dutiful servant to the rest of the entities in his life.

It was David’s heavy burden to bear alone and he often groaned under its weigh. There was NO ONE to help him bear this burden, not even Harold and all his psycho-therapy could relieve him.

This burden was not so much his wife, or children, or leadership role, or economic status as much as it was the youthful choice he’d made years before, which he’d forced himself to make.

His youthful choice which he forced upon himself was “now” HIS YOKE. David couldn’t get the yoke off his neck. Now it was an oppressive and heavy burden in which he HAD to serve and pay tribute to for the rest of his life.

He was tired, bored, disinterested, and worn out from his long journey. In his youth, he thought way too high of himself. He wasn’t superman or the super hero he thought he was, and the telltale signs were his exhaustion, fatigue, worn-out brain, and weary eyes.

David had done a lot in his life, but he was mentally tired. He wasn’t exhausted, or fatigued, or tired in a way that he needed sleep or rest, but because of his heavy YOKE.

In fact, in many ways David was WIDE AWAKE, but the shoulders of his soul was sagging from the heavy burden of his “OWN” yoke. David had followed, with precision, the rules and regulations, but they had depleted him instead of empowering him. He read something once: “...why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires...” (Colossians 2:20-23 NLT).

Everything he’d built with his wife, children, in his leadership roles, and financially was done at his “own” expense, his “own” pious self-denial, his “own” human devotion, his “own” bodily discipline, and after a lifetime of withdrawals, he was shockingly depleted. And like the bible verse said, he had NOT conquered his “own” evil desires!

David’s YOKE, therefore, had become a heavy burden because he, himself, was a limited resource.

His “youthful choice” was meant to provide him with butterfly wings, and joy, and happiness, and freedom and endless advantages, but it had harvested a YOKE of oppression, around his neck, instead.

David served and paid tribute to his wife, children, leadership positions, and economic status day after day, and year after year, but not with the devoted freedom of heartfelt love, but like a dutiful slave.

David was a victim of his “own” circumstances. Through his willful and voluntary choices, he’d sown the garden of his choices. In the beginning, he was in total agreement with the life he’d planted, but it was the harvest he reaped that gave him reason to pause. The responsibility to sustain such a life or harvest and to honor every damn promise he’d made was “humanly” impossible.

David’s life was HUGE. His puny soul and limited flesh could not fulfill the life he’d self-designed. When his self-designed life and the individuals within that life NEEDED him; he was OBLIGATED, FORCED, or REMINDED of his duty to serve them and pay his tributes.

Now his puny soul and limited flesh struggled with feelings of constraint and weariness as he attempted to keep up with his expenses which were, rightfully, owed through day-after-day services and tributes.

David once thought he was an unending stream of water, but somewhere along the way, he’d dried up. Yet his “own” life and all the people in it were a constant reminder he’d committed to being their water supply. It was his debt and he could no longer pay it adequately.

He OWED them and there was no way to AVOID paying, but NOW every dutiful service and tribute felt like a burden or YOKE of BONDAGE.

David was miserable. He’d followed the rules and regulations, but the seeds he’d planted had harvested a YOKE. His life was filled with services and tributes that were dutiful labors that pressured and wearied his soul.

He was a SLAVE to his own creation. He bowed his head and shoulders to pay servitude and tribute to what his choices had harvested. He had cultivated them himself and now felt forced to pay, in reality, what he justly owed.

He had freely chosen the life he wanted, but the consequences of those choices now made mandatory demands upon him by stealing his freedoms, forcing his labors, requiring his services, and requesting his tributes.

David Anderson had successfully, through every human effort, planted the garden of his choice. His wife, children, leadership roles, and economic status were his harvest. He was satisfied and proud UNTIL it became costly to him.

David had NO IDEAL how costly it would be to maintain such a HARVEST. No matter how wonderful, easy, awesome great, or magnificent the HARVEST may be it STILL had to be serviced and tribute had to be paid.

When your soul becomes puny or shriveled and your flesh weak and limited the dutiful service, to maintain the harvest, must be paid whether with joy or with bitter anger or resentment.

David wanted the HARVEST, but without all its demands, needs, and expectations. What he KNEW now was that he couldn’t PAY the DEBT, properly. To sustain his HARVEST it took more than his humanity. He was angry for putting himself in such a stressful situation. He felt horrible. He was also angry at his HARVEST for its demands, but dutifully he kept his responsibilities up.

David’s responsibilities grew through a lifetime of hard work and he believed in paying his debts. It was what HE wanted, yet, he was beginning to blame and judge his “own” HARVEST as heartless, selfish, and inconsiderate.

David knew it wasn’t the fault or blame of his HARVEST; the entities or the people. He was the one who wanted to relinquish the YOKE he, himself, had planned or put around his own neck.

His services and tributes to his “own” HARVEST was what he, rightfully, owed. His life, his good fortune, and all the good people in it had GIVEN to him generously and out of goodwill. David had TAKEN-IN everything and reaped every benefit.

Yet, paying back the proper restitution of gratitude through devotional, heartfelt service and tribute was a BURDEN of duty for him. He was MAD and ANGRY that he HAD to pay them back.

But David “DID” his duty, because his reputation was at stake. He wanted to be trustworthy and continually exhibit positive attributes. He served and paid his tribute to keep his reputation among them all. He didn’t want to give anyone a reason to bad mouth him, his roles, or his contributions, so he dutiful settle his debts.

David had received his HARVEST in life and was still reaping from it. He OWED his life and the individuals in it his favorable service and his promised tributes.

Nonetheless, David FELT bound and trapped. He was a burden-bearer who wore a YOKE around his neck to prove it. He was a laborer and a SLAVE of his own making.

His wife, his children, his leadership roles, and his economic status all existed because David was successful at planting the right seeds. These were “good” consequences, but he was too blind to see it. David Anderson dropped the key off at the front desk on his way out.

He breathed in the fresh air as he exited the back of the building. He had one last thought? What if I’m not who I think I am. What if I’m in denial? What if I am merely a self-delusion?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 3 LUKE WARM: THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

                    

CHAPTER 3

LUKE WARM:

THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

 “... Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life...” (Proverbs 31:10-12 KJV).

*

Virtuous Ruth Valor now Virtuous Ruth Warm got up around 5am to study and have a quiet time with God every morning like clockwork.

Her parents wanted to name her Virtuous, because most Christian woman wanted to make sure they did all they could to be the virtuous woman in proverbs 31.

Her mother wanted that too, but learned the hard way a woman couldn’t MAKE herself into a virtuous woman, but BECAME a virtuous woman by following the ways of Jesus through God’s word.

Her mother taught her to be honest, strong in the Lord, courageous in the Lord, kind, encouraging, diligent, prepared, resourceful, educated, and how to sustain a continual covenant relationship with God.

Her mother told her all spiritual characteristics and conduct, for both men and women of God...were virtuous. She was never to forget she was raised to live out the reality of her name.

Virtuous was raised to be “virtuous” and she truly had a deep, personal covenant relationship with God. She knew her virtues and she knew her flaws.

She was ready to please her husband by becoming the wife she thought he wanted. But pleasing him was beginning to feel like an old familiar burden. It felt ungrateful to think of her life in any negative way, because she’d pretty much had a decent life and family.

Yet this BURDEN, Izzy was beginning to make her feel was actually a lifestyle she lived with her whole life, which came in the request to be “somebody else’s” ideal of “perfect.”

The FEAR she felt about, one day, not being Izzy’s ideal of “perfect” was stressful. As stressful as it had been her whole life when she FEARED not being her family’s ideal of “perfect.”

When she MESSED up and stopped being her parents “ideal” of “perfect” they would criticize her, stop being loving toward her, showed no understanding, and was generously with their punishments.

It’s not that they ABUSED her physically or anything, because they didn’t. It was the LACK of grace that was sorely neglected in her life.

She didn’t know how to be IMPERFECT very well. Virtuous didn’t mind having flaws she just didn’t know how to deal with her flaws other than to criticize or punish herself like everyone else did.

This private secret of “no grace” had bothered her and nobody had even noticed. When she thought of the dynamics between she and her parents and now she and Issachar it seemed healthy. They ALL took great care of her in their own ways.

But for Virtuous the missing piece was, while they ALL wanted her to be their version of “perfect” she wanted to SEE, within them, a version of God’s GRACE, kindness, and understanding.

The neglect of the emotional need for God’s grace, kindness, and forgiveness made her FEEL bad, unworthy, and often lonely every time she made a mistake or struggled to overcome her sinful nature.

Virtuous always felt that THEIR NEED for her to be “THEIR” ideal of “perfect,” was more important than her need for GRACE or KINDNESS, or UNDERSTANDING.

It was amazing how gracious, kind, and understanding she was of their flaws. She had learned that kind of grace from God. She could believe when she read the words “...be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus...” (2 Timothy 2:1 KJV).“… The Holy Spirit helps [his people]... in [their]... weakness…” (Romans 8:26 NLT). “...For [God’s people]... do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with [their]... weaknesses,but [they]... have one who has been tempted in every way, just as [they]... are--yet he (Jesus) did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).

“…[God’s] strength is made perfect in [their]...weakness...” (2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV). “…[God’s people]... can do ALL THINGS through Christ which strengtheneth [them]...” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).

Virtuous was so very grateful to find and receive, regularly, God’s grace. God was generously gracious to her and she was to be gracious to others, but she wasn’t entitled to the same treatment from her closest loved ones.

If she dared to complain or ask for help it was perceived as a weakness which made her feel guilty, more flawed, angry at herself for even wanting their grace, it lowered her self-confidence another degree, and made her feel as if she had no right to ask.

Virtuous could say this of her family, she knew they loved her, but they had avoided expressing the loving grace of God to her. Before God,  she was completely bankrupt in that area of her inner life.

She left her parent’s home, but was still interacting with them through Issachar L. Warm. Secretly, she had judged her parents, during her childhood, and wondered had she ever forgiven them for their LACK of GRACE toward her.

Now that she was beginning to see these SAME characteristics in Issachar she wondered had it come from her own root of bitterness. What was that scripture? She got her bible and looked the verse up. “..See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled . . .” ( Hebrews 3:12 NASB).

She HAD judged them, but she thought she’d left it in the past, but she didn’t. She read another verse: “...Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man (woman), whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things...” (Romans 2:1-2 KJV).

Yes, Virtuous was a decent person and had many righteous qualities, but she had secretly sown judgement against her parents within her “own” heart. She couldn’t help but wonder if Issachar was the consequence. She read yet another verse. “...whatever a person sows, this he(she) will also reap. ..” (Galatians 6:7-8 NASB).

Even, what you may think is a LITTLE sin, is still SOME sin.

 In the beginning Issachar and Virtuous enjoyed their lives together. Virtuous got relaxed and got used to Issachar’s endless praise. They were content and happy together.

They held onto the beginning for as long as they could. Issachar said and did all the right things as they built their lives together.

They laughed together, built together, were innovative together, travelled together, ministered together, and dreamed together. It was truly adventurous and satisfied the wanderlust in both their hearts.

Virtuous stayed on her pedestal as the perfect wife for a long time and Issachar praised her regularly. When she voiced her concerns he’d tell her: “...I’ll never change my mind about you, Virt....”

Regardless of Issachar’s attitude, Virtuous accepted she wasn’t perfect and was okay with it. She’d personally discovered God’s grace and now understood why it was called amazing.

When she saw Issachar’s flaws, she was, utterly, gracious, kind, and forgiving toward him. She didn’t judge or criticize him, which she’d learned from God’s Word. She treated him like she wanted to be treated when her turn came and she knew it would.

Issachar was the love of her life and she had saved her virginity for him, which made their union all the more special. She sincerely loved his soul, learned him well, paid attention to details, but she began to see some serious chinks in his armor.

The chinks weren’t important in the beginning as they shared deep talks together in the midnight hour or wee hours of the morning. They wanted the same things, which made it fu. She too wanted to have a life full of adventure. She also wanted to share a life of faith with him too. Issachar taught her a lot about God’s Word and she, especially, loved that part.

Together, she thought, they were living the Christian life. Eventually, they moved to Son City and built a huge home on the family property. She travelled doing ministry with him until she became pregnant with their first child.

By 1999, they had four children, two girls and two boys. The boys were a set of twins. Virtuous stayed close to home during the children younger years, opened a B&B, did counseling, and participated in the local church ministry.

They each wrote and published several books. They started businesses, helped build and sponsor the Son City Christian University, and made good financial investments. They raised Faith, Hope, Joshua and Joseph, who were typical children, but were growing up to be decent human beings.

The children were well-travelled and had gone on missions trips several times with their parents and the church.

Virtuous was there for the children most of the time, but she didn’t neglect Issachar either. She joined him on the road, wherever he went. Every now and then, it would occur to her that she was physically and emotional tired and desperately needed to rest, she was only human. Yet, Virtuous went on, as women do, taking diligent care of her family.

Issachar and Virtuous were still talking incessantly when they celebrated their 10thanniversary. That night at dinner Virtuous told Issachar about some of her private concerns about her need to slow down and it seemed to anger him. She told him he was “...an ass and too stubborn for his own good...” and she dropped it, but from that moment on a silent wedge came between them.

The beautiful life they shared together became a thing of the past, at least for her. They still did all the things they used to do, but something was missing.

They took their children to amusement parks, school events, birthday parties, on mission trips, helped with their homework, played games, went to their recitals and sports events, or on family vacations or outings, but the new wedge was there.

They continually worked on their ministry goals, personal dreams, investments, and published their books, and this new WEDGE grew.

Issachar was Minister Warm around the globe, but he tried to be at church with Virtuous and the children most Sundays.

Issachar loved going to church with his family and sometimes he would bring the sermon. He was a really good speaker. Virtuous loved to hear him preach until recently.

When it came to their projects and ministry together, they had the Midas touch. They were innovative together, talked over their goals, wrote down their visions, made their plans, and did the work to make them a reality. Virtuous couldn’t seem to move on like Issachar had after the night of their 10th anniversary. Nothing, visually, seemed to have changed for him.

They talked amicably like they always had, went sight-seeing, enjoyed musical concerts, went out to dinner, did things with the children, had annual Valentine picnics, explored secret places, visited museums, enjoyed the fruits of their labor, and dreamed, and worked, and implemented, and dreamed some more.

But Virtuous couldn’t get their 10th anniversary out of her mind. Issachar didn’t miss a beat and continued to say and do what he’d always done. But, for Virtuous, the sacred, covenant bond they once shared, together, was a becoming a distant memory.

She may have had the legal position as his wife, but “she” had been moved off his pedestal and had NO PLACE, with him, at all.

She tried to talk to him about it multiple times, but he always found a way to put it off. There were cards, gifts, and surprises on Valentine’s Day, their anniversary, and birthdays. Thanksgivings and Christmases were filled with laughter, gatherings with family or friends, and celebration, but, for Virtuous, it felt like one big facade.

Issachar said, one Sunday, in front of the whole congregation. “I want to Thank God for my wife...” He went on to say what she meant to him. Though she smiled, Issachar’s compliments were meaningless.

Issachar brought her beautiful no-reason cards, flowers, Swarovski crystal, books, pearls, porcelain figurines, or her favorite Starbucks drink. He would DO all the right things.

Issachar’s behavior had NOT changed, but SHE had. Her husband was a creature of habit. His behavior was ethical toward her, which made him look like a dream come true husband to those on the outside looking in.

Those behaviors won her heart years ago, but now she SAW his conduct differently and she was frightened by what she was thinking. What Issachar DID toward her as a husband only emboldened her negative thoughts instead of diminishing them.

Had they really had this wonderful life she’d thought they’d had?

Life went on for Issachar and Virtuous as they marched into the 21st century. Virtuous had changed. She SAW Issachar. To complain about Issachar, with all his private and public, ethical behaviors toward her, seemed like an ungrateful thing to do, but she SAW Issachar.

Virtuous couldn’t UNSEE him, but she didn’t know what to do. The damage was done and there is nothing she could do to change what had been done. Telling the truth would cause harm and hurt to SO MANY people.

She was a victim too and felt horrible about Issachar. Why had he done it and why didn’t she know before now? Issachar chose this life, but not for the same reasons most people did. AND, he didn’t want anyone, not even her, to know.

What if, one day, this all comes back to haunt them, especially if someone, outside of the family, found out? Issachar had built EVERYTHING – ministry, marriage, family, and himself – through self-effort from beginning to the present. Truly, in one way it was amazing, but in another, more important, way it was HORRIBLE.

Issachar wasn’t a hypocrite, but he was a self-made invention of a Christian man. He was a FALSE version, but it was obvious he believed he was the “real” thing. Now Virtuous wondered: “who was the real Issachar?”

In reality, her husband was so CAUGHT-UP in his own invention he probably no longer knew who he was either. He, himself, was TRAPPED in his own web of lies. What had Issachar done to himself? What had he done to her?

At one point, Virtuous’ faith was on the line too. It seemed she’d lost faith in herself at the same time she’d lost faith in Issachar. She experienced “feelings” of mistrust and weakness regarding the commitment to her own Christianity and Christian works. Issachar’s deception had an profound effect upon everything she believed in.

She went to God’s Word. The bible spoke to her: “…God has said “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you…” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV). “…I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the very end…"(Matthew 28:20 NIV).  Truly, “…God with us…” (Matthew 1:23 NASB). “…If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot denywho he is…” (2 Timothy 2:13 NLT). It is a TRUTH, “…Not one of all the LORD's good promises … failed; every one was fulfilled”(Joshua 21:45 NIV).

She began to pray, mediate, and talk it over with God. It was NOT God she mistrusted, it was Issachar. The life Issachar had lived, to date, had led to EVERY benefit and personal gain they shared together.

Their marital relationship, however, had taken a serious nosedive. The quality, Virtuous “thought” they once had, was long gone. She had been honestly connected to him, but that’s when she thought he was an authentically righteous, honest, and a spiritually good person.

Virtuous was turned off, had lost all respect for her husband, and her commitment toward him was shattered to pieces. Needless to say, she felt betrayed. Her identity as his wife and the well-being she once felt, by his side, had become a hard, gut-punch in her stomach. It made her nausea whenever she thought about it.

It was a challenge to sustain her faith, after discovering Issachar’s true make-up, but God helped her to continually trust in HIM.

It was God, the Holy Spirit, and his holy nature she trusted and depended upon. Talking with God made her feel better and he cared for her more than anyone else did. Virtuous respected God’s sovereignty. She decided she had no choice, but to entrust herself to God.

It was fragile, but God helped keep her trust and dependency upon HIM, alive!

So far, she was the ONLY one being HURT. The pain was current and actively beating the hell out her heart. She had been TRICKED in the most dubious way.

She couldn’t run from it, so she went, quietly, through the process of letting her heart break and there was nothing to prevent the pain.  She knew if she came “CLEAN” and told others the truth it would only bring them harm as it was currently bringing her harm.

Virtuous wanted to correct what had been done, but she knew it would RUIN thousands and thousands of lives. She couldn’t, merely, think about herself. Plus, Issachar is so established, fortified, and popular, many wouldn’t believe her anyway.

The bible says the TRUTH will set you free, but Virtuous wondered would telling the TRUTH, in this case, do MORE HARM than good to other people.

Virtuous sat, in her kitchen, alone, the kids with relatives, Issachar travelling, and she pondered over this “mind-boggling” truth once again. She didn’t know how to MOVE ON from here. She’d been stuck since their 10th anniversary and now the wedge between them was only getting worst. What role was she playing in this sham? How could she continue to live with Issachar now that she knew the truth?

CHAPTER 2 LUKE WARM: THE SELF-INVENTED CONVERSION

                    

                                    CHAPTER 2

LUKE WARM

THE SELF-INVENTED CONVERSION

*

“…The flesh (ethical behavior) profiteth nothing…” (John 6:63 KJV). “…Human effort (ethical behavior) accomplishes nothing….” (John 6:63 NLT). “…If I bestow all my goods to feed the poor (ethical behavior), and if I give my body to be burned (ethical behavior), but have not love (God is LOVE and SPIRIT), IT PROFITETH ME NOTHING…” (1 Corinthians 13:2-3 ASV).

*

Luke finished the last “new members” class after thirteen weeks. He was officially a member of SON CITY ministries, which was a non-denominational church.

Luke had gone to an Ivy League school and had graduated summa cum laude with a 4.0+ GPA. After the new members classes, Luke developed such a passion for spiritual knowledge that the Pastor took a personal interest in him and began giving him spiritual resources from his private collection.

Before long, Luke Warm was headed to Princeton Theological Seminary in Princeton, New Jersey. The Pastor told him he would love Princeton’s theological library and was certain it would help satisfy his hunger for spiritual knowledge.

The whole time Luke Warm attended the seminary 100s of students enrolled year after year. Many of them were candidates for ministry, or an academic career, or some other theological field.

Luke Warm began to understand the teachings of the bible, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and eternal life with God, the Father in Heaven. He learned them so well he could articulate them to others and prepare them for the blessings of the Christian life.

When Luke Warm returned home to Son City Ministries, four years later, the Pastor gave him a youth bible study class to teach. Luke grew more and more knowledgeable in the spiritual truths. He was even studying Greek and Hebrew.

His years in seminary didn’t just change what he knew about Jesus Christ, but it changed his perspective on religious life and his behavior.

Luke loved the scriptures and he was more than prepared to pass onto others what he’d learned. He loved getting together with the young people, listening to them share their faith, testimonies, and delving into the scriptures.

Luke was grateful for seminary and he believed it had blessed his life with new dreams. He gained a foundation of knowledge that helped others. This knowledge had also made him a part of these happy, advantaged, and successful people without the religious RIGAMAROLE.

Young people were coming to Luke’s bible study in groves and said his class was a safe place to openly discuss God.

The young people began calling him Luke the Duke of the Gospel, but “Brother DUKE” for short. The news spread about Luke’s teachings and the bible class grew. The youth began reaching out to other young people and soon Luke’s bible study became a MOVEMENT.

The DUKE MOVEMENT began catching the attention of other churches locally and throughout the US. Luke found himself helping young people know Jesus, grow in their faith, share their faith, and study the scriptures.

By 1987 Luke became a licensed and ordained minister. Luke’s ordination took place in the new SON CITY ministries facility. The DUKE MOVEMENT became nationwide and was bringing in millions of dollars.

The youth were evangelizing by bringing their parents, siblings, friends, and other family members to Son City ministries.

Luke started to travel, but tried to be home for weekly bible studies. He kept up with other churches in order to advise them, see how they were doing, and if they needed help.

Quarterly, Luke began to have conferences and follow-up meetings with other youth ministers. They bought Luke’s resources and teaching materials, which were now out on tape or video.

Eventually, as the ministry grew, Luke assigned another youth minister to teach his weekly bible study. He travelled nationally and internationally now. The DUKE MOVEMENT had plenty of volunteers and together they worked and decided on how to continue to MOVE the ministry forward.

Luke and several KEY people took the message of Jesus to young people around the globe. SON CITY ministries begin sponsoring international mission trips for the youth and adults.

Luke I. Warm moved from the DUKE MOVEMENT to full-time evangelism in the early 90s. To disassociation himself with the youth movement he began using his middle name Issachar as his first name and Luke as his middle name.

He was getting older and thought it time for him to move to a different area of ministry. So he decided to take some down time to write some books. He used Issachar L Warm as his pen name.

The change wasn’t too hard for many. The youth continued to call him Brother DUKE, but others simply called him Minister Warm as usual. His resources, tapes, videos, and books sold millions.

Issachar L Warm felt like he was ready to get married, but had found no bride that had fit the bill. Church folk were always trying to set him up with their own daughters or someone else’s, but none had interest him.

Issachar wanted a special woman who would not only be the “perfect” Christian wife, but one who had a sense of humor, a little adventurous side, who was innovative, and who shared his wanderlust for life.

Not one of the females he’d encountered since Princeton had come close to being his ideal woman. Well, at least, not until he’d met Virtuous. Virtuous lived in a small development on the outskirts of town, near Hades. She was beautiful, petite, and short, but she was funny. Her face looked as though she was always smiling or had a mysteries secret.

Her skin looked as if it had been mixed with the riches and finest caramels and her eyes were twinkling lights of amber. When Issachar first met her, she was so shy she would hardly talk to him.

He was not interested initially and dismissed her as another goody two-shoe, church girl trying to impress him with her piety.

Though he wanted a Christian woman, many were too staunch, too phony, too rehearsed, and most of them lacked virtue. Virtuous, however, was sincerely pure and sweet. She was unexpected and after meeting her at the Farmer’s Market on North Neutral their second conversation peaked his interest.

It was then that Issachar decided she was his perfect woman. She was still shy, but she was humorous and wanted adventure like he did. She listened to and shared his ideals about innovation and travel.

She seemed so fascinated with his ideals and asked so many probing questions about his work, his family, and his personal interests. Their eyes met several times, they smiled at each other, and a special bond was formed in that moment.

Six months later Issachar and Virtuous were married. He was 32 years old. They were happy as they began to bond and connect as husband and wife. They learned what each liked and didn’t like. Virtuous fulfilled Luke’s every fantasy. He thought she was perfect, without faults, and his ideal woman.

Virtuous was beautiful and utterly devoted, which was everything he’d wanted. She would NEVER let him down and he’d NEVER let her down.

Luke SAW her awesome personality, which made him want her and need her more than anything or anyone else. Virtuous would say “...Izzy, I’m not perfect. I'm human with flaws like everyone else. You’ll see. I wander will you still love me then?....”

Luke would say, “...Oh, Virtuous, my love, you’re perfect. There is nothing you can do to change my mind...” Without knowing it, Luke had put Virtuous on a pedestal and truly thought she could do no wrong or make no mistakes.

It was a lot to ask of any human being and Luke was asking her to be his fantasy of perfection, whatever that meant, in his eyes. Even on their honeymoon his young wife felt the BURDEN of his unrealistic expectations of her.

Already Virtuous was feeling deprived of being normal, being herself, or simply being human around Issachar

He praised Virtuous so often it started to become meaningless, even on their honeymoon. It sounded contrived and automatic, because sometimes he’d compliment her when she didn’t deserve it, or it wasn’t justified or earned, or she hadn’t been worthy of it.

Nonetheless, Virtuous initially dismissed her thoughts and berated herself for making a big deal of nothing. Her husband was only trying to love her. She was getting, generously, what other women whined about their men or husbands.

But a year later, Virtuous was still feeling Luke’s praises might be empty, but she didn’t quite know why. In the beginning of their relationship Virtuous bought into all his charm and praise, which made her lose sight of her own humanity.

She wanted to be the woman of her husband’s fantasy, but the growing fear within her heart, knew she couldn’t and she wondered would Izzy (short of Issachar), which she called him, would be gracious to her.

Virtuous got caught up in Issachar’s view of her too and she liked being his perfect woman, but a part of her knew he had unrealistic expectations of her and one day she would NO LONGER be his perfect wife or woman.

Nevertheless, Luke had a deep connection with Virtuous he felt was magical and no one, not even her, could tell him any different. Luke thought it was emotional because she made him “feel” something.

It was this “feeling” that gave him the distorted opinion of her. Virtuous was just a young woman. She was beautiful, inside and outside, but she wasn’t this perfect woman. Luke had put her on a pedestal; end of discussion.

When Virtuous’ father had spoken to Luke before the wedding he’d told him his daughter was not perfect and putting her on a pedestal would be dangerous and harmful to them both one day.

Luke didn’t listen. He told her father about all the positive qualities Virtuous had, which her father already knew, and thought it was good that his future son-in-law knew it too.

However, Luke was in denial about his daughter’s flaws, which meant he didn’t know Virtuous at all. She would be limited, in the marriage, to HIS FANTASY of her ONLY.

Virtuous father SAW how Luke idealized his daughter and it wasn’t because they were newly in love. Not only did Luke admire his daughter’s many virtues, enjoy her company, and was happy he’d found her, but he held her in such high regard he acted as if she wasn’t human too!

Luke was so in AWE of his FANTASY image of his daughter, he was concerned that when Luke discovered Virtuous was only human, he would not have the capacity to show her grace.

Luke accepted ALL of Virtuous positive traits, but had not been challenged by her natural human flaws. Putting Virtuous on a pedestal was NOT GOOD and when she FELL and she would...her father wondered “...what then...”

THE SINFUL NATURE: APPETITES, CRAVINGS & DESIRES BIBLE STUDY PART 2

        

       

THE SINFUL NATURE: CONDITIONED APPETITES, CRAVINGS, AND DESIRES

“…I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t….I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).

“…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by SIN? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord (the WORD OF GOD)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).  “…if the Son (Jesus Christ, the indwelling Holy Spirit)…shall make you FREE, ye shall be FREE indeed.” (John 8:36 KJV).

“... Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin...” (Romans 6:6 KJV).

“... I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me...” (Galatians 2:20 KJV).

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SCRIPTURE(S): “…I want to dowhat is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t….I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by SIN? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord (the WORD OF GOD)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).  

 PURPOSE OR GOAL OF LESSON: TO LEARN THE ORIGINS OF ONE’S APPETITES, HUNGER, AND DESIRES.

 APPLICATION OF LESSON: TO ALLOW GOD TO EMPOWER YOU TO LIVE HEALTHY IN ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE, INCLUDING YOUR RESPONSES TO CERTAIN CRAVINGS, APPETITES, AND DESIRES.

TOPIC DISCUSSION: DISCUSS SOME OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL CRAVINGS, APETITIES, AND DESIRES THAT ARE THAT “NOT” GOOD FOR YOUR WELL-BEING OR HEALTH. ALSO DISCUSS WHY YOUR STILL DO THEM. ASK YOURSELF IS IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO OR YOU FEEL CONTROLLED BY THAT CRAVING OR DESIRE OR IT IS BOTH? CRAVINGS are empowered by DESIRES or something the body of flesh or sinful nature longs for, lusts after, has a passion for, yearns, covets, or has an unnatural or dysfunctional hunger for.

CONDITIONED CRAVINGS, APPETITES, AND DESIRES

1.      WHAT IS A CRAVING? WHAT IS AN APPETITE? GOD GAVE MANKIND AN APPETITE IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE HUNGER. WHY WAS THIS MEANT TO BE A GOOD THING FOR MANKIND?  WAS HUNGER AND APPETITE ORIGINALLY CREATED TO BE “GOOD?” “…God saw everything he had made……and, [said] … it was VERY GOOD…” (Genesis 1:31 KJV).

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2.      God created mankind with a healthy desire or appetite for food which was meant to motive healthy behavior, through hunger, to consume what kind of “genesis” food?“...I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat...it was VERY GOOD...” (Genesis 1:29, 31a KJV). THE DESIRE OR APPETITE FOR FOOD COMES FROM ONE OR MORE OF THE FIVE SENSES. NAME ONE OR MORE OF THE FIVES SENSES THAT MOTIVATED EVE’S BEHAVIOR TO “EAT” OR CONSUME THE FORBIDDEN APPLE. “…The woman [became] ... convinced (THROUGH SOUND) [to eat from the tree]... She saw (SIGHT) that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked (SIGHT) delicious (TASTE), and she wanted (LUST of the FLESH) the wisdom (PRIDE of LIFE) it would give her. So she took (TOUCH) some of the fruit and ate it (TASTE)...” (Genesis 3:1-7 NLT). “….She [choose to take] ... some of the fruit and [eat] IT (the information put into heart, informed her mind, which directed her behavior) ... Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and HE ATE IT, too …” (Genesis 3:1-7 NLT). THE DESIRE OR APPETITE FOR FOOD HAS BECOME CONDITIONED AND SO HAS HUNGER. BEFORE EVE “TOOK” THE FRUIT TO CONSUME IT, THE BIBLE SAYS SHE “SAW,” “IT LOOKED DELICIOUS,” AND SHE “WANTED” IT. DOES IT SAY EVE WAS ALSO HUNGRY? “…She saw (SIGHT) that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked(SIGHT) delicious (TASTE), and she wanted (LUST of the FLESH) ...So she took(TOUCH) some of the fruit and ate it (TASTE)...” (Genesis 3:1-7 NLT).  ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.  HUNGER HAS BECOME CRAVINGS AND APPETITES HAVE BECOME PERVERTED. THROUGH CONDITIONED RESPONSES, THE SINFUL NATURE CONTROLS MANKIND’S CRAVINGS, APPETITES, AND DESIRES. A CONDITIONED RESPONSE IS LEARNED THROUGH THE SINFUL NATURE. HOW DOES A REDEEMED SOUL GAIN FREEDOM FROM THE CONDITIONED RESPONSES OF THE SINFUL NATURE? “…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by...[the conditioned responses learned from the]... SIN(FUL) [NATURE]? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord (the WORD OF GOD)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). IS THE SINFUL NATURE CRUCIFIED WITH CHRIST? WHY IS THE REDEEMED SOUL STILL CONTROLLED BY THE SINFUL NATURE? “... Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin...” (Romans 6:6 KJV). “... I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me...” (Galatians 2:20 KJV).  “…I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t….I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…Trust in (DEPEND UPON) the Lordwith all thine heart; and lean not unto (DON’T DEPEND UPON) thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV). “…The LORD will accomplish (take care of)…that which concerns [you]…” (John 14:31 NASB). IS THE REDEEMED SOUL FREED FROM THE SINFUL NATURE? HOW?“…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by SIN? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord (the WORD OF GOD)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).  “…if the Son (Jesus Christ, the indwelling Holy Spirit)…shall make you FREE, ye shall be FREE indeed.” (John 8:36 KJV).

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4.    WILL GOD HELP THE REDEEMED SOUL continually LIVE AND WALK IN FREEDOM?. “…He helps me…” (Psalms 28:7 NLT). “… The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness…” (Romans 8:26 NLT). “…You are my helper and my savior…” (Psalms 40:17 NLT). HOW DOES GOD ACTUALLY HELP THE REDEEMED SOUL? “…It is God who WORKS IN YOU…” (Philippians 2:13 NIV).  “…That great Shepherd of the sheep, EQUIP (empower) you with everything good for doing his will…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “…That great Shepherd of the sheep …may he work in us what is pleasing to him through Jesus Christ…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “…the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works…” (John 14:10 KJV). “ … ...God ...does the work IN and THROUGH ...[THE REDEEDMED SOUL]. The HOLY SPIRIT DISPLAYS God’s power THROUGH each ...[redeemed soul] … (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). DOES EVERY REDEEMED SOUL HAVE THE INDWELLING “POWER” OF GOD WITHIN THEM? HOW DID THE REDEEMED SOUL GET THE GIFT OF THE INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT? “… AS MANYas received him, to them “GAVE” HE POWER TO BECOME THE “SONS” OF GOD (children of God)…” (John 1:12 KJV).  HOW? “…God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son “INTO” ...[their].. HEARTS…” (Galatians 4:6 NASB). “….[Redeemed souls received]... the GIFTof the Holy Ghost (Spirit)…” (Acts 2:38 KJV). . “…God has given [redeemed souls] his Spirit as PROOF that [they]… live (are alive) in him and he [dwells]…in [them]…” (1 John 4:13 NLT).  “…Jesus Christ is in you…” (2 Corinthians 13:5 KJV). “…God has …given..[redeemed souls]... a spirit …of power…” (1 Timothy 1:7 NLT). “…[Redeemed souls]... can do all things (live and walk in freedom from the sinful nature) through Christ which strengtheneth..[them]... (empowers them) …” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).  ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5.    If the whole world is under the power and influence of the evil one, where does the various lusts of the sinful nature come from? “…the whole world lies under the power (influence) of the evil one” (1 John 5:19 RSV).“…Abstain from fleshly lusts …” (1 Peter 2:11). “…ALL that is in the world, the LUST of the flesh, and the LUST of the eyes and THE PRIDE OF LIFE...is NOT of the Father, but it is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the LUST thereof….” (1 John 2:16-17 KJV). THE SMELL OR SIGHT OF UNHEALTHY THINGS, PEOPLE, CONSUMPTIONS WILL MOTIVATE BEHAVIOR, EVEN IN THE REDEEMED SOUL. IN ORDER TO SATISFY UNNATURAL CRAVINGS, APPETITES, AND DESIRES. WHAT IS DOMINATING THE REDEEMED SOUL WHEN THEY WANT TO DO RIGHT, BUT don’T? “...I want to do what is right, but I can’t…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…I [am] …a slave to the (conditioned responses to do wrong from the) sin(ful) (nature) …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).“...I want to do what is good,but I don’t …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…The ...[sinful]... nature ...never did obey God’s laws, and it never will...[if the redeemed soul follows the sinful nature, they will never obey god either]…” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “...The trouble is with me, for I am all too human (because of the sinful nature), …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “….I was born a sinner (with a sinful nature) ….”

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6.    Hunger and appetite was meant to work together to motivate a person’s behavior to satisfy the need to nourish their bodies in a healthy manner. What happened to god’s original “good” intention for hunger and appetite? “…The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the [Holy] Spirit wants. And the [Holy] Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.These TWO FORCES are constantly fighting each other, so you are not FREE  to carry out your good intentions. … …” (Galatians 5 NLT).“...I want to do what is right, but I can’t…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…I [am] …a slave to ... (my conditioned responses to do wrong through the) sin(ful) (nature) …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).“...I want to do what is good,but I don’t …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). IS THE REDEEMED SOUL CONTROLLED BY THE CONDITIONED AND LEARNED RESPONSES FROM THE SINFUL NATURE ANY LONGER? WHY OR WHY NOT? “…The sinful nature is always hostile to God (therefore, the old information, stored in the heart(mind) and is affected by the sinful nature, is also hostile to God). It (the sinful nature) never did obey God’s laws, and it (the sinful nature) never will. That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature (through the old information stored in the heart(mind)) can never please God. But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you …” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “… (Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the [indwelling Holy] ... Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God (reunited with God, the Holy Spirit). The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. …” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “…Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit (the indwelling Holy Spirit, you) ...put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God (the indwelling Holy Spirit) are children of God…” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT).

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7.     The redeemed soul is affected and polluted by information, stored in their hearts (minds), by the sinful nature. What can they “choose” to do to live and walk in freedom from the sinful nature? “…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by (the information, stored in the heart(mind) and is affected and polluted by the) SIN(FUL) NATURE? …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “… The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord (the Word and the indwelling Holy Spirit too)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). HOW DOES THE REDEEMED SOUL CHOOSE TO CLEAN OUT THE OLD INFORMATION, STORED IN THE HEART(MIND)? “… Be transformed by the renewing of your mind...” (Romans 12:2 KJV). WHAT DOES THE REDEEMED SOUL NEED TO RENEW THEIR MINDS? WHAT WILL THE WORD OF GOD DO FOR THE REDEEMED SOUL IN ORDER TO RENEW THEIR HEARTS(MINDS)? “...the will of God (his heart’s desire.), [is]…your SANCTIFICATION …” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 NASB). “…God (the Holy Spirit) ... Himself SANCTIFYyou entirely…” (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NASB). “...You [redeemed souls]... were washed (freed from sin), you were sanctified (restored), you were justified (made right with God again) [through JESUS and with the [gift of the indwelling Holy] Spirit of our God...” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NIV).“.... [Redeemed souls, therefore, keep] ...holy and clean, washed by the cleansing [power]...of God’s Word ...” (Ephesians 5:26 KJV).

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8.    Who is the word? Is god spirit? Would the word be spirit too? What will the word do to the information, stored in the hearts(minds) of the redeemed soul, and put there by the sinful nature?“…the Wordwas God(speaking through Jesus)… (John 1:1-4 NASB). “…THE WORDS  ...they ARE SPIRIT…” (John 6:63 KJV). “…God is Spirit …” (John 4:24 KJV). “…The [word] ...is perfect (matures, develops, grows, etc.), restoring the soul; The [WORD]... is sure, making wise the simple. The [WORD is] ... right, rejoicing the heart; The [WORD]... is pure, enlightening the eyes. The [WORD]... is clean, enduring forever; The [WORD is]... true; they are righteous altogether. [The Word is]... more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them You [redeemed souls are]... warned. In keeping them there is great reward …” (Psalm 19:7-11 NASB).  “...[Redeemed souls]...are clean through the WORD which I (Jesus) have spoken unto [them]...” (John 15:1-10 KJV). WHAT HAPPENS TO REDEEMED SOULS WHO CONTINUE TO FOLLOW THE INFORMATION, STORED IN THEIR HEARTS(MINDS), BY THE SINFUL FLESH? “….you [will become] ... slaves of the one [whom words]... you obey (follow)…” (Romans 6:16 NIV). “... discipline [your] ... body and make it [your]... slave...” (1 Corinthians 9:27 NASB). “…If My people which are called by My name shall humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and TURN FROM their wicked ways…” (2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV). “…Choose you this day whom ye will serve….” (Joshua 24:15 KJV).

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DELIVERED FROM EVIL CRAVINGS, APPETITES, AND DESIRES

9.    HOW WILL THE REDEEMED SOUL ENJOY THEIR FREEDOM FROM THE SINFUL NATURE? “… Be transformed by the renewing of your mind….” (Romans 12:2 KJV). WHAT IS A GOOD PRACTICE THAT CAN ENCOURAGE THE REDEEMED SOUL TO RENEW THEIR MINDS(HEARTS)? “...And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near...” (Hebrews 10:25 NLT).  “... Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching...” (Hebrews 10:25 KJV). DOES THE REDEEMED SOUL TRUST AND DEPEND UPON themselves or their flesh to help THEM LIVE AND WALK IN FREEDOM FROM SIN OR DO THEY CHOOSE TO TRUST AND DEPEND UPON GOD TO EMPOWER THEM? “…God ...does the work IN AND THROUGH all of us who are his… (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT).

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10.                      WHEN THE REDEEMED SOUL SPENDS TIME OR ABIDES WITH GOD THROUGH PRAYER AND BIBLE STUDY, WILL GOD FILL HIS OR HER HEART(MIND) WITH NEW INFORMATION? “…abide in me, and I in you…” (John 15:4 KJV). GOD IS, “.. A Light of revelation...” (LUKE 2:32 NASB). “...that they might know [have intimate, revelation knowledge of] thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ...” (John 17:3 KJV). WHO IS A NEW CREATION? THE REDEEMED SOULS WHO HAVE A NEW IDENTITY THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. “…Therefore if any man (woman) be in Christ, he (she) is a NEW creature …” (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV). “...For in him we live, and move, and have our being (identity); as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring...” (Acts 17:28 KJV). WILL RENEWING THE MIND(HEART) OF THE REDEEMED SOUL BE FORCED UPON THEM, OR WILL IT HAPPEN BY MAGIC, OR SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE SAVED, OR WILL IT HAPPEN BY THE WILLFUL AND VOLUNTARY CHOICE OF EACH INDIVIDUAL PERSON? “…Be transformed by the renewing of your mind….” (Romans 12:2 KJV). “…beconformed to the image of his Son…” (ROMANS 8:29 KJV). “…the will of God (his heart’s desire, his choice, what he wants, etc.), [is]…your SANCTIFICATION …” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 NASB).  “ ... in the PROCESS of TIME “IT” CAME TO PASS…” (Genesis 4:3 KJV).

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1.      WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE EVIL ONE, THROUGH THE SINFUL NATURE AND THE LORDSHIP OF JESUS CHRIST, THROUGH THE INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT? “….you [will become] ... slaves of the one [whom]... you..[willfully choose to obey]... (follow)…”(Romans 6:16 NIV). “... [CHOOSE to]...discipline [your] ... body and make it [your]... slave...” (1 Corinthians 9:27 NASB). “…If My people which are called by My name shall...[choose to]... humble themselves, and prayand seek My face, and TURN FROM their wicked ways…” (2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV). “…Choose you (willfully and freely)this day whom ye will serve….” (Joshua 24:15 KJV).

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2.      Can the redeemed soul live and walk in the freedom from the sinful nature apart from the indwelling holy spirit? why or why not? “…The ...[body of]...flesh profiteth nothing…” (John 6:63 KJV). “…Human effort (through the body of flesh) accomplishes nothing….” (John 6:63 NLT). “…If I bestow all my goods to feed the poor (body of flesh effort only), and if I give my body to be burned (body of flesh effort only), but have not love (God is LOVE and the indwelling HOLY SPIRIT), IT PROFITETH ME NOTHING…” (1 Corinthians 13:2-3 ASV)."… if the salt has become tasteless … It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out…” (Matthew 5:13 NASB).“…The sinful nature is always hostile to God (even during “acts” of ethical gestures) . …” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “..[The sinful nature]... never did obey God’s laws, and it never will.…” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “...those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God…” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “….Apart from Me (Jesus, the Word, the indwelling Spirit), you can do nothing(especially holy or truly righteous)…” (John 15:5 NIV). “…I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV). “… God  … work[s] … in … [HIS people] … what is pleasing to him [to him]…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “…the Father...[that DWELLS within them]… he doeth the works…” (John 14:10 KJV). “...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world...” (John 16:33 KJV). “... Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world..." (John 16:44 NLT). “...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid...” (John 14:27 KJV). “...we must [go]...through much tribulation [to]...enter into the kingdom of God...” (Acts 14:22 KJV). “...despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us...” (Romans 8:37 NLT). “…I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV). “… God  … work[s] … in … [HIS people] … what is pleasing to him [to him]…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “…the Father...[that DWELLS within them]… he doeth the works…” (John 14:10 KJV).

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3.      IN ORDER FOR THE REDEEMED SOUL TO LIVE AND WALK IN FREEDOM FROM THE SINFUL NATURE, WHAT WILL BE THEIR SOURCE OF SUCCESS? “... [God’s] …Holy Spirit …is the SOURCE [of  it ALL]…” (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). THE REDEEMED SOUL TRIES TO “FIX” OR “REPAIR” THE SINFUL NATURE BY FOLLOWING “HUMAN” RULES AND REGULATIONS TO OVERCOME STRONGHOLDS OF THE FLESH. WHY WON’T THAT WORK?“... You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires...” (Colossians 2:20-23 NLT). EVEN WITH “GOOD” HUMAN RULES AND REGULATIONS, WHO SHOULD THE REDEEMED SOUL TRUST AND DEPEND UPON? “…Trust in (DEPEND UPON) the Lord (THE WORD( with all thine heart; and lean not unto (DON’T DEPEND UPON) thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV). “…The LORD will accomplish (take care of)…that which concerns [you]…” (John 14:31 NASB). “…He helps me…” (Psalms 28:7 NLT). “… The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness…” (Romans 8:26 NLT). “…You are my helper and my savior…” (Psalms 40:17 NLT).  “…The steps (OF DELIVERANCE) of a good man (woman) are ordered (DIRECTED) by the Lord(THE WORD) …” (Psalms 37:23 KJV). “… THE LORD(THE WORD) … is Your rock and Your fortress, your deliverer…” (Psalms 18:3 NASB).

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4.      IF THE SINFUL NATURE, OF THE REDEEMED SOUL, IS CRUCIFIED WITH CHRIST, WHAT ABOUT ALL “ITS” CRAVINGS, BAD HABITS, SINFUL PASSIONS AND DESIRES? “...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there...” (Galatians 5:24 NLT).  WHAT WILL WEAKEN THOSE PASSIONS AND DESIRES FROM THE OLD SINFUL NATURE? “… Be transformed by the renewing of your mind (through the WORD of God)….”(Romans 12:2 KJV). JESUS IS THE WORD. THE WORD IS GOD’S TRUTH. WHAT WILL THE TRUTH DO FOR THE REDEEMED SOUL?“…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by SIN? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord (the WORD OF GOD)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT).   Jesus had another name. “… His name is called The Word of God…” (Revelation 19:12-13 NASB). “… the Son (Jesus Christ, the indwelling Holy Spirit. the Word of God)…shall make you FREE...” (John 8:36 KJV). DOES THE REDEEMED SOUL CHOOSE TO FOLLOW RELIGIOUS RULES AND REGULATIONS OR DO THEY CHOOSE TO TRUST AND DEPEND UPON GOD’S WORD AND POWER? “...why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? ...Such rules are mere human teachings.... These rules may seem wise ..But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires...” (Colossians 2:20-23 NLT). HOW DOES GOD’S WORD AND POWER HELP THE REDEEMED SOUL CONQUER THE EVIL DESIRES OF THE OLD SINFUL NATURE? “...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there...” (Galatians 5:24 NLT). “..they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts...” (Galatians 5:24 KJV).

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5.      ACCORDING TO GOD’S WORD DOES THE EVIL PASSIONS AND AFFECTIONS FROM THE OLD SINFUL NATURE HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER THE REDEEMED SOUL? “…you are not (no longer) controlled by your sinful nature. …” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “...you have no obligation (anymore) to do what your sinful nature urges you to do…” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “... ye ...[are]... FREE indeed.” (John 8:36 KJV). WHAT WILL GOD’S INDWELLING POWER DO TO HELP THE REDEEMED SOUL LIVE AND WALK IN FREEDOM?He will “…strengthened ... [you] … with might by his Spirit in the inner man (woman)…” (Ephesians 3:16 KJV). “… [He will strengthen you]…according to the POWER that worketh IN [YOU]…” (Ephesians 3:20 KJV). “...Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, AND he WILL flee from you...” (James 4:7 KJV). “...RESIST him (the evil one), standing firm in the faith ( in your trust in and dependency upon God)...” (1 Peter 5:9 NIV). “...do not give the devil an opportunity...” (Ephesians 4:27 NASB). WHERE EXACTLY IS GOD’S SPIRIT? “…God … SENT forth the Spirit of His Son (Jesus, the Word) “INTO” [Y]OUR… HEARTS…” (Galatians 4:6 NASB). “…God has given [you] HIS Spirit as PROOFthat … he [dwells]…in [you]…” (1 John 4:13 NLT “…The Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16 KJV). “…Christ (the Holy Spirit) liveth in [you] …” (Galatians 2:20 KJV). “…the Spirit of God dwell in you…” (Romans 8:9 KJV).  “….the Spirit of God dwelleth in you...” (1 Corinthians 3:16 KJV). “…your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” (1 Corinthians 6:19 KJV). “…God hath said, I will dwell in them...” (2 Corinthians 6:16 KJV).

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6.    WHAT DOES THE INDWELLING SPIRIT “DO” IN THE HEART OF THE REDEEMED SOUL TO EMPOWER THEM TO LIVE AND WALK IN FREEDOM? “…The …HOLY SPIRIT …is the SOURCE of [empowering the redeemed soul] …It is …God who does the work IN and THROUGH...[every redeemed soul]… (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). “…He helps me (his people)…” (Psalms 28:7 NLT). “…the Father that dwelleth in [redeemed souls], he doeth the works…” (John 14:10 KJV). “…[redeemed souls]…have this treasure in [their]…earthen vessel (body)...” (2 Corinthians 4:6-7 KJV). “...[the]... body...[of the redeemed soul]... is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in [them]...” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NASB). “…The God of peace … that great Shepherd of the sheep … work[s] in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “…The God of peace … that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip[s] you with everything good for doing his will…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “… [God] grant[s]… [the redeemed OR righteous]… to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man…” (Ephesians 3:16 KJV). “…the Father ....doeth the works…” (John 14:10 KJV). JESUS WAS SENT TO THE REDEEMED HEART IN SEED-LIKE FORM, WHAT DOES A PERSON CHOOSE TO DO IN ORDER TO HELP THE SEED GROW OR DO THE STRENGTHENING WORK WITHIN THEIR HEARTS(MINDS)? “…THE WORDS ... they ARE SPIRIT…” (John 6:63 KJV). “…God is Spirit …” (John 4:24 KJV). God, the Holy Spirit represents a type of water and refers to himself as “...spring of living water...” (Jeremiah 2:13 KJV). The SEED is WATERED by the HOLY SPIRIT, so it can GROW and produce fruit in the life of the redeemed.  “… …The seed is the WORD OF GOD …” (Mark 4:14-15 & Luke 8:11 KJV). The bible says, “....I (God, the Holy Spirit) will pour my Spirit upon THY SEED...” (Isaiah 44:3 KJV).

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7.      IS THere A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ETHICAL BEHAVIOR AND RIGHTEOUS BEHAVIOR? WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE. “…It is …God [the indwelling Holy Spirit] ... who does the work (of righteousness) IN and THROUGH all of us who are his… (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). “…The [indwelling]...HOLY SPIRIT DISPLAYS God’s power THROUGH [redeemed souls] … (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). “... For it is God who worketh in you, both to will (to desire to be righteous) and to do (to actually walk in righteousness) of His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13 KJV).  “…I can do all things (become righteous) through Christ which strengtheneth me…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV). “… the God of peace… that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in [you, through the indwelling Holy Spirit]… what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). WHEN REDEEMED SOULS “STOP” LISTENING TO GOD AND CONTINUE TO FOLLOW THE SINFUL NATURE, ARE THEy MOVING FORWARD OR GOING BACKWARDS? “…But mypeople would not listen to me. They kept doing whatever they wanted, following the stubborn desires of their evil hearts. They went backward instead of forward” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT). “But the people replied, “Don’t waste your breath. We will continue to live as we want to, stubbornly following our own evil desires” (JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT). WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAYS ARE THE “DISTINCT” CHARACTERISTICS OF THE REDEEMED SOUL OR GOD’S DISCIPLES? “...when the wheat spouted and formed heads, then the weeds appeared...Where ... did the weeds come from? .... Do you want us to go and pull them up?...NO... “...Let both grow together until the harvest...” (Matthew 13:30 KJV). “...allow both to grow together until the harvest...” (Matthew 13:30 NASB).“…GROW to maturity…” (2 Corinthians 13:11 NLT). “…until Christ be formed in you…” (Galatians 4:19 KJV). “…Ye shall know [the redeemed soul]… by their fruits…” (Matthew 7:16 KJV). “…He(she) who ABIDES in Me and I in him (her), he(she) bears much fruit  … ” (John 15:1-11 NASB). "…My Father is glorified by this, that...[HIS PEOPLE]... bear much fruit, and so PROVE to be My disciples (MY redeemed people)...” (John 15:8 NIV).

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8.      WHAT WILL THE SINFUL NATURE PREVENT THE REDEEMED SOUL FROM DOING? WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT MAKING THE DEVIL FLEE? “…The sinful nature wantsto do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants ... … …” (Galatians 5 NLT). “…so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. …” (Galatians 5 NLT).  “...do not give the devil an opportunity...” (Ephesians 4:27 NASB). “...Resist the devil, AND he WILL flee from you...” (James 4:7 KJV). “...RESIST him (the evil one)...” (1 Peter 5:9 NIV).WHY IS FOLLOWING RULES AND REGULATIONS “NOT” THE SAME AS TRUSTING AND DEPENDING UPON THE INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT’S EMPOWERMENT? “...why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? ...Such rules are mere human teachings.... These rules may seem wise ..But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires...” (Colossians 2:20-23 NLT). “...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there...” (Galatians 5:24 NLT). “..they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts...” (Galatians 5:24 KJV)

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ONE MORE THING

FOLLOWING RULES AND REGULATIONS, THROUGH SELF-EFFORT IS NOT DELIVERANCE FROM THE BODY OF FLESH (SINFUL NATURE), ITS CRAVINGS, AND HABITS. “...why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? ...Such rules are mere human teachings.... These rules may seem wise ..But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires...” (Colossians 2:20-23 NLT). However, trusting         and depending upon God’s deliverance through the powerful indwelling Holy Spiritmakes the redeemed soul “free” from the sinful nature and its cravings, appetites, desires, and habits. “…The sinful nature wantsto do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants ... … …” (Galatians 5 NLT). “…so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. …” (Galatians 5 NLT). “…Can an Ethiopian change his skin or a leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil…” (Jeremiah 13:23 NIV). “...I want to do what is right, but I can’t…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). The body of flesh has too many “out of control” cravings, wrong appetites, and forbidden desires.“...The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin (through the sinful nature)…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin(ful nature)? …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). The sinful nature MAY follow human rules and regulations for a while, but it will NEVER follow God’s righteous and holy instructions. “…The sinful nature is always hostile to God …” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “...[The SINFUL NATURE]... never did obey God’s (HOLY) laws, and it never will…” (Romans 8:1-14 NLT). “…The sinful nature wantsto do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants ...so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. … …” (Galatians 5 NLT). Following rules and regulations, through the effort of the sinful nature will make one believe they CAN control “that” nature. However, following human rules and regulations won’t deliver them from or help them actually conquer the sinful nature’s “out of control” cravings, wrong appetites, sinful desires, and perverted hunger. “...These rules may seem wise ..But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires...” (Colossians 2:20-23 NLT). “...so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. … …” (Galatians 5 NLT). There is only “one way” to be truly “free” from the sinful nature and that’s through the deliverance of jesus Christ.  “... [God, the Holy Spirit] ...has sent me (Jesus) to proclaim that captives will be released...” (Luke 4:18 NLT). “…Who will free me from this life that is dominated by [out of control cravings, wrong appetites, sinful desires, etc.)? …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord…” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). jesus came to set you totally “FREE” from the sinful nature and its cravings, wrong appetites, sinful desires, and perverted hungers. “…The [invisible Holy] ...Spirit  … anointed [empowered JESUS] to preach the gospel to the poor ... [empowered him] to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives …” (John 4:16-21 KJV). “... to proclaim that captives will be released...” (Luke 4:18 NLT). “…He helps me…” (Psalms 28:7 NLT). “…The Lord helps them, rescuing them from the wicked. He saves them, and they find shelter in him…” (Psalms 37:40 NLT). “… The Sovereign Lord helps me…” (Isaiah 50:7 NLT).  “…You are my helper and my savior…” (Psalms 40:17 NLT).  “…[God is]… Your GOD, Your rock, in whom [you can] … take refuge…" (Psalms 18:3 NASB). “…[God is]…Your shield and the horn of Your salvation, YOUR stronghold.…" (Psalms 18:3 NASB). “…[God is]…Your rock and Your fortress, your deliverer…" (Psalms 18:3 NASB).

CHAPTER 1 THE LIFE OF LUKE ISSACHAR WARM

 

                                            CHAPTER 1

LUKE ISSACHAR WARM

 “...because thou art lukewarm...” (Revelations 3:16a).

*

 Luke Warm had grown up in the Houston suburdia, nice neighborhood, pleasant neighbors, and decent schools. He’d gone on field trips, to operas, museums, the zoo, and multiple plays.

Luke was fond of the arts, especially music and drama. Luke Warm sat backstage beaming. His performance was so good his drama teacher said she could hardly distinguish between him and the character he played. That compliment made Luke feel proud.

The Drama Department had performed Shakespeare’s “a Midsummer Night’s Dream” play. Luke Warm had made the character his OWN self-invention and the audience had given him a standing ovation.

Luke had played the character Puck. Puck, at least he thought, was the most important character in the play. Puck was mischievous, witty, a prankster and a blunderer, but he was also spirited and magical.

Luke had invented his own version of Puck by adding the needed humor, the appropriate language, and his own touch of fairy-ness.

Luke had to wear a lot of make-up because Puck was NOT to be portrayed as handsome or debonair. In fact, one of the other fairies called him a “hobogoblin,” which meant he was not as good-looking as the other fairies.

Luke Warm was no Puck, so the pervasiveness of deceptionwhen performing a character, certainly, could hide the reality of one’s true appearance.

Luke Issachar Warm was giftedly handsome with Hercules-like hair, thick eyebrows, a militant nose, perfectly defined face, muscular, but slender body, oozing with masculinity, and he moved with the grace and power of a lion.

People told him there was a mysterious aura about him and whenever he was around, they said, they could feel his presence. Luke thought he was GIFTED with some inner quality or resilient psyche that enabled him to perform the ambiguities, perplexities, humor, or magic of any character.

The role of Puck was the role that started Luke Warm’s journey. He had done his OWN self-invention of the Puck character which meant, for a few moments, he had to be brilliant at becoming someone else.

Luke had made the audience believe he was Puck through his OWN self-invention of the character. He saw how receptive they were through his cultivated persona of Puck.

It also made Luke believe he could become anyone he wanted to become. He could participate in society in a positive way, any way he chose, and it could bring enjoyment to others.

He’d been in every school play since he was a freshman and he had become attuned to the requirements of new identities through the self-invention of his characters.

Luke had enjoyed many of the characters he’d played and got to know them as much as possible. This was his last play before heading to college. So much had changed in his life and he couldn’t believe it was 1978 already. He felt a twinge of nostalgia as he thought about the end of this era of his life.

Nonetheless, he was ready. Luke was certain he’d learned how to present himself to others and decided he wouldn’t limit himself to a “fixed” personality as he headed out into the world.

Luke Warm could become ANYONE he wanted to become. He knew how to present his best self. He was often told he was gracious, connected well with others, was a good listener, had a good memory, especially with people’s names, was diplomatic, and was giftedly articulate. Luke had a way of making people feel important. 

Luke was good looking, but he had a way of highlighting everything, he thought was good, about himself from his hairstyle, to his fashion, his conversation, and his own personal, sexy swag.

When Luke I. Warm walked into the room he became center stage whether he wanted to be or not. He was confident in the spotlight, but he was an approachable and relatable people person.

He wasn’t perfect and had his flaws, but he had a way of making people focus on his virtues; not his vices. People, male and female, gravitated to Luke. He really was a source of positive with his smiles, charming personality, and golden attitude.

He was “THAT” one person you met in life that lit up the room with his whole being. Not only was Luke the number one drama student in High School, but off stage he could tell stories that would keep his fellow students on the edge on their seats with suspense and laughter.

Luke I. Warm was LIVING ART and as a youngster, he was already more charming than he knew.

Just as Luke Warm continually re-invented himself through the many characters he played, he could also re-invented himself to suit the lifestyle he dreamt of having one day.

Luke Warm had grown up in Houston and in the Baptist church. His family had lived there for years, but recently, his parents, his five siblings, some aunts, uncles, and cousins had all migrated, together, to Son City, Texas.

While Luke was away at college between 1978 and 1982 his family had gotten involved in the charismatic movement, and had gone from being Baptist to non-denominational.

Luke didn’t go with them to Son City, Texas but decided to crouch on Neutral Avenue instead, which was one of the longest streets in the world. It was actually the border between Son City, Texas and Hades, Texas.

If you lived on his street, it was either North Neutral Avenue, South Neutral Avenue, or simply Neutral Avenue.

Luke lived on Neutral Avenue with other folk who weren’t for the Son City lifestyle, but wasn’t against it either. On the other hand, they felt that way about Hades too.

He visited his family often. All he had to do was turn right out of his driveway, go seven miles, turn left onto the freeway, and he would be in Son City fifteen minutes later.

Luke’s grandparents had left his father an inheritance recently, which happened to be in Son City, Texas and consisted of acres and acres of land, plus a profitable business. There was a huge mansion on it with several guest houses, but Luke was undecided about whether he wanted to live in Son City or Hades, so he crouched on Neutral for the time being, which was on the border of both places.

If you lived on the west side of Neutral, your backyard faced Hades, Texas. If you lived on the east side of Neutral, your backyard faced Son City, Texas. Luke SAW the sun RISE in the east, where Son City, Texas was, every morning.

Luke did accept his father’s offer to work in the family business though, but he refused to change his opinion about living in Son City or Charismatic Christian-ville, as he called it, in spite of his family’s urging.

Luke was experiencing financial difficulty at times, but he was too stubborn to ask for help. He wanted to do what he wanted to do and he simply refused to do anything else. He’d had huge arguments with his family, but he still didn’t budge.

Luke was famous, in his family, for his stubborn resistance and his refusal to accept defeat, big or small. His grandfather, who he called Poppy, said he was too stubborn for his own good.

Poppy was given the honor of giving Luke his middle name. He was almost seven years old before his parents changed his name legally from Luke Warm to Luke Issachar Warm.

Luke asked his Poppy why he’d chosen that name and he said “...It is a rarely used Hebrew name I found in the family ancestry and I thought it fit you perfect...” Luke liked his middle name.

Poppy told him that he and “this” ancestor exhibited the same kind of qualities. Luke didn’t agree with his family assessment of him. He wasn’t stubborn he was just passionate, decisive, had his “own” personal convictions, persevered, and stood his ground.

Poppy did say something that angered him once, “...Luke its okay to be stubborn for the right reasons, but not just to get something your way. You can’t self-invent everything to your liking. How many times have I told you, you're too stubborn for you own good...”

Poppy was his favorite family member. When he was younger, Poppy coached the little league team Luke was on. He always complimented Luke on his persistence, focus, and drive, but he cautioned him not to let those things blind him.

One day his little league team lost and Poppy said, “...Luke you were so focused on WINNING “your” way...you lost your team the game...” Luke didn’t agree with his grandfather and told him, “...Poppy, you’re getting old and don’t know what you’re talking about. Had YOU listened to me we would have won...”

Luke got the whole team to side with him against his Poppy. His grandfather quit coaching his team after that and the two of them weren’t as close for a while.

However, Luke was determined to do everything to win his grandfather back, so he set out to be the best grandson ever. He thought he’d succeeded and had changed his Poppy's mind about him, but he hadn’t. On his deathbed his grandfather said, “...Luke, I love you, but  you are still too stubborn for  your own good. You will never understand what I’ve tried to teach you...until you truly surrender to God...”

Poppy KNEW Luke. Poppy SAW the "real" Luke. If Luke was honest, living on Neutral was hard, and if he surrendered like Poppy said maybe he’d go ahead to Son City with the rest of his family.

The charismatic movement had changed them. He had to admit he began to long for and desire the same life his family was enjoying, but without going through all the religious RIGAMAROLE they’ve been trying to present to him.

When he’d hang out with them, they were so restful and peaceful and he could clearly witness the advantages they had in their new Christian lifestyle.

His family was actually getting along with each other and being loving toward one another. He wanted to share that with them.

His family had even gotten a new set of friends, too, that seemed loving, sincere, generous, on one accord, and enjoyed serving one another.

Out of six children, Luke was the fifth child and they were always fighting when they were younger. Yet, he noticed his siblings, their spouses, and children were happy, singing, playing together, was living a more orderly life, and were genuine getting along. They had become a real, close knit family.

Luke Warm wanted that life and the advantages it seemed to afford his family and “that” group of people. If he had to live in this wicked world, he wanted to be like the Son City people in east Texas. Luke I. Warm had an ideal......

 WHOLE NOVEL COMING SOON!!

DR PENSACOLA H. JEFFERSON