M.D. Presley's Blog, page 4

LiGoAke (Chimera Turducken)

Every pitmaster worth his or her salt knows a thing or two about stuffing (and probably salt). At Bugbear BBQ we’ve been known to stuff a troll burger patty full of bacon, cheese and jalapenos before stuffing it into our mouths.After the cooking, of course.But over the last few years the idea of stuffing one meat inside another meat inside of another meat has really exploded, the patient zero of this plague being the infamous turducken. And though this meat-monstrosity (and this is coming fro...

The Origin of the Mudbird (Auld Lands)

[excerpt from Dobra Tales and Lore, collected by David Hooper]Long ago in the days before glass, there lived a man named Anders, who wished to become a sanct and do the will of Sol. So Anders went to the nearest monastery where he prostrated himself and begged to join their number. And so they made him one of their own, teaching him to read and write.There Anders spent all day copying the Biba Sacara, from the first word to the harvest itself. But the words never touched his heart and he neve...

Myers Briggs Your Characters

This is totally a cheat for my new blogging schedule (now twice a week!) in that it's really a guest blog I did for the amazing Jo Zebedee back in December of last year. But I did want to get it cataloged in my own blog. Because I'm weird about that sort of thing.Good news: I should hopefully be doing a lot more guest blogs in the near future. Also, there will be a giveaway soon for people who join the monthly newsletter. Also, I'll be doing a monthly newsletter.So check out some Myers Briggs...

Lord of the Rings VS Star Wars: Best Movie Trilogy

“There’s only one Return, okay, and it ain’t of the King. It’s Jedi.” Randal from Clerks II. (Warning: Link NSFW)Ambiguity is a terrible thing, which is why we get so opinionated about what is actually “the best” in any category. Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd cannot possibly share the position of best classic rock band ever; no, there must be a definitive winner. DC and Marvel cannot peaceably co-exist in their paneled pages; there must be a clear victor in their crossover special issue. And th...

Barbecued Fairy: Bugbear BBQ Recipe

We at Bugbear BBQ firmly believe that the best barbecue comes from the best ingredients, and so we prefer our meats to be ethically sourced; consisting of wild-caught, free-range, or battlefield-harvested creatures. Because of our stance on ethically sourced meats, we ALWAYS avoid humanoid creatures and anything approaching sentience.Because we’re not monsters after all. No, we prefer to eat monsters!This rule does not apply to fairy folk, however, which have been plaguing anything without a...

Gerjet and the Greedy Woodcutter

[excerpt from Myths of Old, collected by David Hooper]Long ago when glass was still new, deep in the woods there lived a poor man with six daughters. The oldest was Gerjet, a Shaper who should have brought her father great wealth. But Gerjet was a willful girl that refused to use her Shaper strength in the presence of others.Since she would do no work for the family, her father took her to his nearest neighbor in the morning, a greedy woodcutter. Hearing of Gerjet’s Shaper strength, the woodc...

The Good, Bad, and Ugly Trilogies: Screenplay Techniques Adapted for the Novel

As withlast time, I’m issuing a*spoiler warning*for these very seminal following films. I’m assuming if you’re reading this you already know the plot points forLord of the Rings(LOTR),Star Wars,The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean, Back to the Future, Hunger Games, andThe Hobbit; but if not, ye be hereforth warned.So, fresh off our discussion on the differences between a film trilogy and series, we’ll now be discussing what makes aGood,Bad, andUglytrilogy. And since the definition of what is...

Smoked Troll: Bugbear BBQ Recipe

While BBQ joints the worlds over each boast the best hippogriff you've ever tasted, true BBQ connoisseurs know the real litmus test for a pitmaster's skill is simple ol’troll. If you've ever tried to trim a hunk oftroll, you'll understand why: the meat is notoriously tough and rubbery due to thetroll's (in)famous ability to regenerate.But it's this same regeneration that keeps the cost oftrollso low. Because every bestiary butcher out there keeps at least onetrollchained in the basement, slic...

Trilogies vs Series: Screenplay Techniques Adapted for the Novel

Before we get started:In the next two posts we’re going to delve into several movie trilogies and series that have been out for years (and in some cases decades) and are pretty culturally ubiquitous, yet I feel the need to give a *spoiler warning*. So, if you haven’t ever seenLord of the Rings,Star Wars,Indiana Jones,The Godfather,Back to the Future,The Matrix,Pirates of the Caribbean,Harry Potter,The Hunger Games, orThe Hobbit… well, you’ve misspent your youth and probably are the butt of jo...

The Raising of Holyas Toth's Army

Part one of this seriescan be foundhere.[Compiled and translated from mid-Bancel by Malorie White]With the righteousness of his cause and Caburn at his side, Holyas desired to free his people from his sister Morien’s reign. But the wise Wylit entreated Holyas to stay his hand. To defeat Morien would mean nothing if Holyas could not hold the kingdom, so Wylit advised him to raise an army. Hearing the wisdom to Wylit’s words, Holyas set out with Wylit and his first knight Cei to seek allies in...