C.L. Walters's Blog, page 12

Indie Author Life: Gratitude for Those that Make a Difference (Building the Fanbase)

Before we get started on this post, I think it’s important to note that I’m really new at this. Though I’ve read the expert advice (like we all have) and am working to follow that expert advice, I’m just starting out and getting a feel for what having a group of supportive readers is like (and I know you’re out there because you give me confidence on the daily! Thank you). This is why I tossed the question back at people following me. They are the expert voices to share what keeps them returning to Instagram, to the blog, subscribing to the newsletter and ultimately excited about the books.

So, with that said, I’m going to share the words of people who follow me, and then offer a tidbit of my perspective about it. I noticed that a few of the comments encapsulated a broader theme, so I lumped those together. I sure hope that helps answer the question of how to grow a fanbase.

Your writing :

Key point. Your writing, the words, the story, the book matters. Comments about the writing ranged from “you write stories that resonate and connect with me,” to “your writing is exquisite.” So, keep writing. Finish it. Create the BEST product you can. EVERYTHING comes down to this.

Someone told me about you, so I found you and followed:

Word of mouth is the best and most powerful tool. It’s why authors need the reviews; why we love it when we’re tagged in posts and stories, when people send us fan art, and our work is shared widely. It gets the word out. Writers, this can’t happen, however without the story, the book, the world you create that makes the experience magical. So . . . write the book!

Book reviews I’ve read:

A testament to why the book reviews are so important. Readers, thank you so much for leaving them. They are gold! Authors, an idea I found from somewhere and used, is putting an invitation to review in the back of the book. Just like marketing upcoming work or back listed titles, ask the reader to consider leaving a review.

Your commitment to your journey and your willingness to be open about it:

I loved this one. And it came up repeatedly. I think there are a few things in play here. One is consistency which exemplifies that commitment. Two, having the opportunity to have the veil lifted between what seems “bigger than” us (a beautiful story) and the irl (in real life) people to go with them is not only more personal but engaging. Just thinking about some of my favorite author accounts: Sabaa Tahir does funny videos about her writing process, Mary E. Pearson shares tools she uses when she writes, VE Schwab offers a peek into her struggles and wins, and Jennifer Niven and Courtney Summers offer portraits of an artist in real life and engage so kindly with fans. As a fan myself, getting the opportunity to see and understand the author as a real person is powerful (and connects our humanity).

Willingness to teach:

Before committing to this writing journey full time, I was a teacher (twenty-three years worth of teaching writing and literature). You can take the teacher out of the classroom but not the classroom out of the teacher—so (allow me one more cliche, please), once a teacher always a teacher. I feel like the transparency of my writing journey (wins, losses, struggles, growth) allows me to engage with more people, and ENGAGEMENT (which means authentically connecting with people who show up to comment and chat) came up a lot. I also think it connects with the next point . . .

You’re uniquely you:

There is only one me. Only one you. Commenters made mention of being “Authentic” and “Honest” as reasons they stuck around. Being who you are with readers is the ONLY WAY TO BE! I know that as a fan, I’m not looking for the Matrix author experience. I want the real thing. The unique experience of learning who they are and what makes them joyful, what contributes to their amazing work. So BE YOURSELF!

The community:

Finally, though I don’t think this means the point is least in importance, the commenters who shared their perspective brought up the positivity of my space as a place for community. Words used to describe it were “inspiring,” “encouraging,” “helpful,” “positive vibes,” “committed,” and “authentic.” Engaging with one another and supporting one another makes stopping into see you that much nicer. And in 2020, we can all use that right?

Those are the words of the experts, my friends, with my attempt to collate and expound upon them. If you have questions, please ask away in the comments or send me an email.

On another note: Doing this series has been a lot of fun. I’m going to take some time off from blogging for the holiday season. I will still be sending my newsletter (you can sign up for that at any time; and there’s a family holiday recipe download when you do and if you want the fun story, ask me) and hanging out on Instagram, so feel free to find me there.

Happy Holidays to you and yours! I’ll see you in 2021.

Indie Author Life: The Order of Things

One of the most frequent questions that came out of a Q&A I did on Instagram was “What is the order of things when you publish?”

Four of the books I’ve published through my imprint Mixed Plate Press.

Truth time: I’m still learning, so what I’m about to share is based on my experience with the first five books. Personally, I don’t think I have it all together, and there is so much more to learn, but if you’re needing a starting point, I hope this is a resource that will support your journey. 

I’ve attempted to organize this post in chronological order. Some things to consider as you read forward: even though this is presented in a linear manner, the way I approach book publishing, heck the way I approach book writing, isn’t linear for me but rather cyclical (think of it like a spiral). For me, it’s operating on a 12-18 month cycle for each book. Keep the idea of the cycle in mind, because while I might identify social media and newsletter on the timeline, these are on-going throughout. Likewise, when I write “work on something new,” I’m often working on several projects at once, so while I might be in one part of this timeline for one project, I’ll be in another place for a different one which means I could be on several points of the checklist at any given time. The way you approach the “order of things” will depend on how many projects you want to develop simultaneously based on your professional goals. I’m on a once a year schedule with a goal for a twice a year schedule within the next two years.

So keeping all that in the back of your mind as you read forward, here’s the order of things (as I’ve come to know them) . . .

Stage One

“All you do is sit at the typewriter and bleed.”

— Earnest Hemingway

DRAFT. Write the darned book. Get it done from beginning to end by whatever means necessary. Like Earnest Hemingway said, “All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” It definitely feels like that, a lot.

After that draft is done, if you use alpha readers (or those brave souls willing to slog thorough a very very rough draft to offer feedback), it’s time to get this draft to them. I don’t use alpha readers (and this is for a few reasons which I won’t go into here—you can always ask), so instead I set the manuscript aside for a four-week period. Remember that idea of the cycle? While I’m waiting, I’m working on another project, still posting to social media, still blogging, still marketing the backlist.

If you don’t have another project, while you’re waiting for the alpha feedback (if you’re waiting for the alpha feedback), it’s a good time to rewrite your author blurb, and any book copy (synopsis [yes, you SHOULD STILL DO A SYNOPSIS even if you aren’t sending it to agents. If you want to know why I think so, keep reading], long blurb, short blurb, tagline).

Stage Two

Alpha readers have returned the manuscript. Time to REVISE!

This feels like such a long part of the process for me. Usually because drafting is difficult. As much as I love telling the story, getting it out onto the page is arduous. Then revision feels like putting together a million piece puzzle with no picture for a guide (why you need the synopsis). I love it! Stephen King said in an interview with Writer’s Digest in 2009, “The writer must have a good imagination to begin with, but the imagination has to be muscular, which means it must be exercised in a disciplined way, day in and day out, by writing, failing, succeeding and revising.” Revision definitely provides another layer to the workout.

When this is done and it’s off to Beta readers (I do use beta readers, but I use a very specific process which I won’t go into here) it’s time to do these things:

Commission Cover Art (Please hire someone to do this unless you are a graphic designer. IT MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE).

Purchase/Assign ISBNs to your title (I buy these in a blocks of ten through Bowker. Depending on how many formats you want to publish, you’ll need one for each format). Now’s the time to begin filling in the information on Bowker to register the work.

Keep up with Social Media, Newsletter, Blog, etc. As I said before, this is ongoing.

Draft Marketing Plan (I use a template I designed for each project).

I work on this list and I force myself to allow the feedback I get from Beta Readers to SIT UNREAD for four weeks (this takes extreme discipline. Hahaha). The time away is necessary for me to clear my expectations, my preconceived ideas about the project so that I can approach it with a clearer perspective. As I finish the list above, I’m working on another project during this distancing period until the planned reread occurs.

Stage Three

It’s time to EDIT or what I’ll call the POLISHING phase of the book. It’s back from Betas and I’ve let it sit. Now I’m revising again to pull the story together. When that revision is complete, it’s time to send it to the editor. At this point in the process, I’ve revised the blurbs, the marketing materials, and hopefully the COVER is ready to reveal. The wonderful woman I work with on my covers is an excellent collaborator so we’ve workshopped the cover until it’s just right. Now that I’m in the final stages of the writing process and I’ve released my baby to the editor, it’s time to:

Reveal the Cover

Change social media, news letter, blogs, etc to reflect coming soon 

Make a Media Kit (or add to it with new materials)

Implement Part 1 of Marketing Plan (prebook): For me, this means making contact with reviewers and implementing the goals you’ve established to begin to get the word out.

A cover matters. This cover won Best Fiction Cover for in Indie Reader Discovery Awards. One possible post launch marketing strategy is contests, but do your research! Not all contests are created equal.

Stage Four

The book is back from the editor and you’ve fixed it (keep in mind this process will take more than one pass through the manuscript, but I’m making the assumption that the book is as close to final as you can get it prior to reviewing the proofs). It’s time to PUBLISH (and that means to ARC review). What needs to occur:

Book Formatting (This is a very important step. If you aren’t sure how to do this, I highly suggest you find a professional to do it. It is one more facet of your finished product that makes a difference in the reader’s experience.) Be sure to Include a chapter of “Coming Soon” or a free chapter of a backlist book in the finalized copy of each format. This is a pre-launch strategy (coming soon) and a post-launch strategy (backlist excerpt) and is an excellent and east tool to have accessible to readers!

When the formatting is complete and you’ve gone through it again for errors, upload to Distributor (Depending on your distributor—i.e., Ingram Spark— there are fees for each upload. They will provide you with an eproof. Be sure to electronically proof before finalizing or there will be additional costs for each change.)

Assemble Street Team

When the ARCs arrive, implement the prerelease marketing plan you’ve created.

Develop a pre-order incentive and publicize

Reread the ARC and correct any errors in the format and the copy so you can finalize the book with Distributor.

Stage Five

It’s a LAUNCH! The book is done and you can focus your energy on the Launch day. Jenn DePaula with Mixtus Media writes that you should focus your energy for the launch to doing one or two things really well rather than spreading yourself too thin (If you’d like a timeline of this, here’s a blog I wrote for Mixed Plate Press to describe the timing). So come up with a two ideas or so to be strategic about for your launch. It’s time to implement that portion of your Marketing Plan. Tools you can use:

Continue Preorder Promotions

Generate buzz with your Street Team, the Reviews , Appearances/Interviews

Collaborations

And then celebrate on Launch Day. You did it!

Reviews are critical to the life of a book (which extends WAY BEYOND launch day. It’s important to think Long Term Game.

Stage Six

It’s time to REFLECT on what you’ve accomplished, REEVALUATE your Marketing Plan and REFOCUS on the post-marketing strategy. Most books are sold in the aftermath of the launch, so don’t lose sight of that book now that all the Launch High is wearing off. It’s time to think longterm and long game. Implement that Post-Launch Marketing Plan.

New projects and the cycle begins again.

Remember the cycle I mentioned at the beginning and the fact you’ve probably reached the end of a draft on a new project too (or are close to it)? Cycle back to the beginning and get going once again.

Got questions? Put them in the comments below.

Next week: Indie Author Life: Gratitude for those who make a difference - The Fanbase (Building one)



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Indie Author Life: Why I went Indie and chose Ingram Spark

With the book—Swimming Sideways— that launched an Indie Author.

I’ve shared my writing journey in other posts (if you’re new to my journey, check my three part blog post called Emily Dickinson is Laughing here), so I won’t belabor the how and why and the dream of writing. Suffice it to say, becoming a working author is hardwired into my DNA. 2000 marked the point when I took my first baby steps to realize the dream with hopeful naivety and queried my first novel, which I was sure would be a hit with agents and publishers and readers. It wasn’t. It was rightfully rejected (hindsight is always 20/20). Another novel. Another series of rejections. Another novel. Another series of rejections. Another novel. Another series of rejections. Sixteen years later and another round of rejections on The Ugly Truth, I finally just thought: Why not Amazon? So I put it out there (and again: hindsight is 20/20. I shouldn’t have). All I heard was crickets (thankfully :) Then I decided—like a responsible grown up—that maybe my dream just wasn’t meant to be and that I should really focus on what I was good at: Teaching. 

The Cantos Chronicles before the Rebrand; The Ugly Truth was the first one I wrote thinking it was a stand alone. Swimming Sideways was written second, but was the lead in to the whole series. Cover art matters (see the rebrand below).

One year later, 2017, my father died unexpectedly. It sent me into an emotional and identity tailspin. What an awful place to be and hangout (I don’t recommend it), but like all difficult places, somehow we find our way out of them. While climbing out, I heard Abby’s voice: I need you to finish my story; Seth’s voice: Don’t leave me down here (because at that point he was trapped in hell); and Gabe’s voice: I’m waiting for you. So I did. And queried again. And faced another round of rejections. And another round. And another round. So disheartened with now 17 years of rejection, I decided to just write the stories anyway, without thought to what would happen to them. I just needed to finish them. In the meantime, another indie author, Mike Walters (who is also my awesome cousin and writes mystery thrillers), read Swimming Sideways and asked, “Why isn’t this published?”

“I can’t get an agent. I’ve submitted it to 20-30 of them,” I said.

“Then why not go Independent? It’s too good not to put it out there.”

And so that’s what started me on the path as an Independent Author. I published on Amazon KDP Swimming Sideways in 2018, followed shortly after by a re-published revision of The Ugly Truth that same year, and then concluded the series in 2019 with The Bones of Who We Are. I was bolstered by the response of the Indie Book community. Reviews the stories received were strong, and I got some confidence back. That’s when I began to see that my dream could still happen, it might just look different than I’d initially imagined. 

My next step: I tried to get them into local bookstores. A lovely human at Barnes & Noble, Honolulu said, “Bookstores don’t want to carry their competition,” and suddenly something in me clicked. While I could see the benefit of Amazon for a hobbyist, or someone who wasn’t in a financial place to take on the investment to publish, or someone who was content to publish exclusively for kindle, my goals as a writer diverged from that path. I realized I wasn’t doing my dream and my goals justice going about it the way I was. I had a choice before me about how I wanted to approach my author’s journey. The reality that I needed to see myself as a business and my books as my products was clear, and that’s when I switched over to IngramSpark/Lightning Source.

The Rebranded Hardcover versions of The Cantos Chronicles.

This switch meant that I was in control of the entire process and the financial investment. From writing the book, and  editing it, but also formatting it, the cover, buying the ISBN, marketing it and publicizing it. Being that much in control isn’t for everyone. It’s a lot; I’m not going to lie, and time consuming, but I find it fulfilling. I like having the final say on the cover. I like having the final say on the interior. I like using my creative energy to publicize, market and engage (I love engaging with people even if marketing and publicity isn’t in my wheelhouse of skills). My success (or failure) then is in my hands, and I’m totally okay with that. 

Me with my new release The Stories Stars Tell.

The transition has also meant a lot of learning (and mistakes) along the way which leads us into next week’s blog:

The Order of Things. From Idea to Publication and Beyond.



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Indie Author Life: A Day in the Life of . . .

Where the “magic” happens. Ah hem . . . magic. Did I really write that? Hahahaha.

The following is a “typical” day… or the plan of a typical day. As we all know, being moms, wives, husbands, fathers, sons, daughters, students, working and writing, managing households, lots of time it’s shot to sh*t within the first hour. Reorient. Get back on track. Keep going. So, we’re off . . .

5:30AM: The alarm goes off. It’s a lovely tone that doesn’t jar me from my sleep, if I’m still sleeping. Lots of days, I’m already up (3AM, 4AM aren’t shockers when I’m in the middle of a project or have something on my mind). I guilt myself that I haven’t worked out, but decide that if I think about it, my brain doesn’t know the difference.

5:45AM: Hurry up, coffee pot. I set you the night before for a reason. Come on! While the coffee pot is brewing I usually check my IG and engage with what I’ve missed. I’m in Hawaiʻi so I am always a bunch of hours behind everyone else. I want to make sure I engage in real time with people, so I need to do it early. Social media is a very important part of an author’s life. This is the direct link to readers.

6AM: I sit down with my journal and my Bible app. This is how I center myself. A few scriptures, a bit of prayer and then I’m writing morning pages (have you read Julia Cameron’s The Artist's Way? I recommend it for the new creative or a stuck creative). I find that this centering is really important for me. Why? Because I can get caught up in all the needs to be done. It makes me feel frantic, anxious and kicks up my doubts. Taking the time to balance my mind keeps me grounded and focused on my place on the road rather than what’s over the mountain. While I draw from my faith practice, I would suggest that faith practices don’t have a monopoly on reflection or meditation, so don’t allow that to keep you from finding a way to center yourself.

6:30AM: My family is moving about and the noise in the house heats up. Husband is up, talking to the dogs while listening to ESPN on the highest volume; son is up, shuffling through spaces muttering and asking for items he was to have prepared the night before. Daughter is texting from college or facetiming with a new issue that needs solving. The dogs are now wrestling as part of their morning routine. If I’m feeling generous, I’ll make them some breakfast, but usually they are on their own (because, leftovers). I drink coffee with my partner before he heads out to work and drops our son at school.

7:30AM: Get ready. Okay. This just means get out of my pajamas, though I don’t always (sometimes that doesn’t happen until like 10AM and I need a quick mental reset).

8AM: It’s time to get down to business. 8-12 is the first block of time I’ve set aside, and it is for the “work” part of my business. I work on an editing job for a client, send and answer emails, make calls, create and distribute marketing materials, write blog posts, draft and finalize newsletters (yes, I have two. One as an author and one as an editor), plan and design IG posts. I spend time on IG and Facebook during periods of this block to make sure to engage on social media when most of my followers are up and functioning.

12PM: Grab something to eat for lunch. I try to disconnect and read while I eat lunch. At 12:30 I put on my mom hat to go pick up my son from school. School hours are strange right now due to the pandemic, but I’m not complaining. When my son is cleared to begin workouts for his sport, I have a feeling my schedule will change again.

1:30PM: Time for the second block of my day. 1:30-5 has been set aside for my creative projects. Sometimes I have business stuff I have to do as well (i.e., interviews or meetings, but usually it’s reserved for the creative block). I’m drafting now (which I find difficult; I much prefer revision and editing). I set up my spotify, usually with the background noise of a rainstorm or ocean waves, and I work to focus on the creative work.

2PM: Crap. I’m nodding off as I try to work. I curl up on the couch with the dogs for a power nap.

2:20PM: Rested and clearer now that my head isn’t bobbing with sleep, I’m back at the keyboard. I write. It’s usually a slogging session through sh*t, but that’s okay. I won’t find the story or uncover the gemstones without something on the page. Besides, I’ll look for the shiny stuff in revision. Later. Keep going.

5PM: Time to think about dinner. I set up a podcast or an audiobook while I’m cooking. Sometimes it’s my WIP playlist so I can continue thinking about the issues I’m noticing to work through them internally while I’m engaged in the busy work of cooking.

6PM: On a good day, the family is home together and we convene at the table to eat. Mostly, it’s a mad dash to shovel sustenance into our mouths between sport practices, workouts, homework or after school stuff, and whatever else is happening. With the pandemic, things have been a bit more predictable from home, which has been a positive, but truthfully, the chaos is preferable to a pandemic. 

Thank you, husband, for this flattering picture.

7PM: I’m usually on the couch with my feet up next to my husband and the dogs. He’s watching something on TV and I’m reading. If it’s a program we both like, I reluctantly put the book down.

8PM: We walk the dogs.

8:30PM: Somedays, I’m struck with night inspiration, so I’ll sit down for another hour or two writing session. I don’t know what it is about the darkness and the low glow of a lamp. It gets my creativity moving. Sometimes this is the perfect opportunity to chat with my husband about the business side of things. He’s also an entrepreneur, so I appreciate his perspective and ideas. Usually, I’ll check social media again and make sure I’m set up for the next day.

10PM: Usually in bed and reading, or nodding off. I’m usually asleep by 11PM unless the book I’m reading has me hooked. Then I’ll allow myself a little bit more time . . . just one more chapter… one more. Crap it’s after midnight. Time to sleep.

5:30AM: The alarm rings . . .

And it all starts over again. I don’t feel like Sisyphus, however. Maybe because I’m doing this for myself rather than someone else. Truthfully, I put in twelve hour days and don’t even notice it. Sure, I feel tired, but it’s that suspension of time. It’s the immersive joy that comes from the work, the satisfaction that comes from wanting to build something that is sustainable and stands the test of time. 

Which is a great segue into next week’s story:

Why I’m an Indie Author and went with Ingram Spark.



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Indie Author Life: A New Series

I’m supposed to be on vacation. Okay, a staycation. Regardless, I’m sitting at my writing desk, working on a newsletter and this blog entry. Don’t get me wrong. I AM NOT feeling sorry for myself. I love the work, and I’m guessing that anyone in business for themselves recognizes a work ethic that doesn’t make room for time off. Wait? A business owner? What? You might be thinking: I thought I was reading a blog about being an Indie Author.

Don’t worry, you’re in the right place! 

Being a business owner is exactly what you’re walking into as an author. Did I know that when I published my first book? No. I was a blissfully naive newbie with the belief that all I had to do was write the book. I can’t speak to the traditional author experience (but I have my suspicions that it isn’t a whole lot different). After three years as an indie author, I have a very different perspective about what this author journey entails.

Over the next four weeks, I’d like to offer you a facet of Indie Author Life that might illuminate what my journey has been like and perhaps offer you some insights to highlight the indie author road, and maybe help your own trip! I’ve got these topics lined up:

A Day in the Life of this Indie Author

Why I Went with Ingram Spark

The Order of Things (from writing to publication and beyond)

Gratitude for the People Who Make the Difference: Building the Fanbase

But let’s make it interactive! I don’t have all the answers. Read the blog, ask your questions in the comments, and join me on Instagram (@cl.walters) and Facebook (CL Walters) for more engagement and discussion. Let’s make this series worthwhile.

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Recharge the Mental Batteries

So The Stories Stars Tell is officially here and ready for you to read.

I’m going to take some time off to recharge my mental batteries. I see you back here for National Novel Writing Month in November.

That gives you time to read The Stories Stars Tell and tell me what you think.

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Rainy Day Collective Podcast & Purity Culture

Made a podcast! Got to talk to The Rainy Day Collective about The Stories Stars Tell and Purity Culture. Link to listen here.

The Stories Stars Tell: It's Here!

The Stories Stars Tell has published!

After 16 months of work, The Stories Stars Tell is here. I’m so excited to hand it over to you.

Here’s what I can’t wait to see from you:

Honest reviews (post one on Goodreads, amazon, or any other book platform)

Pictures of you reading or of the book (be sure to tag me or send them to me)

To know how the story inspired you.

Who were your favorite characters?

Look for a giveaway and a read-along in November (my birthday month!)

The Stories Stars Tell: Favorite Scenes

The Stories Stars Tell

Six Days until the Launch. I know The Stories Stars Tell isn’t really a rocket, but in my sphere it feels like one. My life has revolved around this story for over a year, so I suppose that explains it. I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears into it. Wrote the best story I could and developed a product I’m proud of. I’ve shared existing snippets, new content, and offered creative ideas. So here it is, less than a week to go, The Stories Stars Tell will be in the world “officially,” and into your hands. 

It feels like I’ve offered up my beating heart and it’s thumping with anxious hope.

“Once you know what the story is and get it right—as right as you can, anyway—it belongs to anyone who wants to read it.”

— Stephen King

Like Emma . . . I’m tied up with fear and perfectionism, doubt and imposter syndrome; all of these anxieties that I could allow to paralyze me into inaction. But the “what if…” is so much greater. What if they love it? What if it does really well? What if I’ve written a book that is the story someone needs right now?

Stephen King wrote, “Once you know what the story is and get it right—as right as you can, anyway—it belongs to anyone who wants to read it.”

Author’s Top 5 Scenes

With that in mind (and while the story is still in my hands at least for six more days)…

I thought I’d share my top five favorite scenes (in no particular order and just so you know, it was really difficult to choose) from The Stories Stars Tell because I can’t wait to find out if your favorite match (or if they’re different).

[Okay. Wait. Caveat. As I sat down to write these, I realized I had way more than five. So, I’m going to qualify this as the Emma and Tanner edition because I have scenes I love where it’s just them, with their friends and family. So . . . these are scenes where they are interacting together.]

The Junior Year Kiss. (Teaser without spoilers, Emma always references the night she coerced Tanner into kissing her. This is that scene. I LOVE it).

Senior Send Off. (So this scene encompasses a bunch of scenes. Like jumping from the cliff, clearing the junior-year air, among other scenes that make my heart race. I couldn’t choose, so I’m cheating here and sharing a whole section.)

Learning about Rory. (The death of Tanner’s brother is a huge part of his identity. I love this emotional scene when Tanner reveals this important facet of his character to Emma).

Reading Kaleidoscope Concussion poolside. (*sigh).

Tanner’s First Date. (I love how this felt like a missing piece of the puzzle when I wrote it in revision).

There were a bunch of other scenes I left out that I love. No spoilers!  I can’t wait to hear what your favorite scenes are. 

So, now that I’ve shared, it’s time to let it go and give it over to you. The Stories Stars Tell is no longer mine alone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all of your support

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The Stories Stars Tell: Tanner and Griffin Origin

The Stories Stars Tell releases October 13

Dear Reader . . . Tanner didn’t write a letter, but he suggested sharing how he met Griffin. While it isn’t a “new story” it offers insights into who Tanner is and why Griffin’s friendship is so important to him. It also illustrates why sometimes it’s hard to write new stories.

The Story of How Tanner and Griff Became Friendsby CL Walters

Tanner’s head was buried in his arms on the desk in the classroom where he was forced to meet for homeroom by unseen entities who seemed to think they knew what he needed without even knowing him. He didn’t feel much like being there, couldn’t even fake it today. His parents had finally told him they were getting a divorce though instead of an unpleasant surprise, it felt like a sad sack of relief heaping with guilt. He didn’t much feel like being anywhere and definitely not at school.

Mr. Benton, his homeroom teacher who ushered in Tanner’s first two weeks of high school, was standing at the front of the room clipboard in hand. Tanner didn’t have to look because he could picture the teacher it hadn’t taken much time to come to despise. He was in the center at the front of the room, his name scrawled in thin blue-inked letters across the white board with the subject he taught—history—over his right shoulder. History said it all to Tanner who figured it was the most useless subject he had to take. Yeah. Yeah. He’d heard all the effin’ rationalizations about it: we need to learn from our past so we don’t repeat the mistakes. Whatever. It was bullshit because one, the past couldn’t fucking be fixed, and two, no one learned it anyway since we kept repeating the stupid atrocities over and over like hamsters in a wheel. Why bother?

Mr. Benton was wearing the same brown pants, slick with some weird sheen like he wore every day. His huge belly obscured the buckle, and the same style cotton-poly blend polo with short sleeves was tucked in and stretched across his wide body. Tanner didn’t like him. It wasn’t that Tanner thought Mr. Benton was bad because he was fat—he had loved his third grade teacher Mrs. Kinder and she’d been a large woman who wore muʻumuʻu’s everyday and offered motherly hugs—he didn’t like Mr. Benton, because Mr. Benton was a dick. He was mean and nasty to everybody. Condescending, rude and super unpleasant. He looked at you with beady dark eyes filled with animosity. The teacher hadn’t even tried to be nice to them. Not even on the first day of school. No smiles. No stories. No questions to try and get to know any of them. Mr. Benton had just judged them on their appearance. Tanner was smart enough to consider that perhaps Mr. Benton was being an ass to protect himself, but ask him if he cared. He didn’t because Mr. Benton was an adult. Like his parents were supposed to be adults. All any of them acted like was self-centered children. 

Mr. Benton's voice stretched across the room.

Instead of paying attention to the pointless announcements about some Fall Festival Dance he had no intention of going to or the announcement about school pictures his parents wouldn’t care about, Tanner kept his head buried in his arms and tried to use Mr. Benton’s monotonous voice to find a place to quiet all the feelings moving through him. Except, when he closed his eyes, all he could see was his parents the night before, sitting on opposite sides of the living room offering their announcement as if they were suddenly partners. That, however, never lasted long.

“This just isn’t working,” his dad had said, the tone of his voice nearly as monotone as Mr. Benton’s, as if he’d been tempering emotion to keep things calm.

His mom, though, didn’t seem to have that ability. “Who’s fault is that, Geoff?”

Tanner had been sitting in the middle of the room, his head swinging back and forth between their volleys to keep track of the battle. He’d had this morbid thought that he should color commentate what was happening, that perhaps his parents had perfected disintegrating marriage as if it were a sport and were in the Super Bowl of divorce announcements.

“Don’t do this, Marna.”

“Don’t do what? Tell Tanner the truth? That you’ve been having an affair?”

This didn’t surprise Tanner given the depth and breadth of their arguments over the last four years, though being reminded that his dad had chosen a different person, didn’t hurt any less.

“And who’s fault is that?”

“You have the nerve to blame this on me?”

His dad had turned away from them, and Tanner could see by the fall of his shoulders and his head, he was pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Knowing this wasn’t going to go anywhere but to a place called Worse, Tanner had sighed, more weighted by the way in which this was the same rather than how it might be different. He wasn’t necessary to these proceedings—never had been. He’d stood and walked out, and they continued to fight unaware he’d even left the room. He’d found his way into Rory’s room, out the window, and sat outside on the roof. He stayed until it was dark so he could look up at the stars.

Now, head resting on his arms at a desk of pointless homeroom, he swallowed the thorns in his throat and kept his eyes open instead of closing them. Light from the windows on the other side of the room oozed from under his arms. He breathed, listening to the white noise his exhale and inhale, feeling rather meaningless like everything else happening around him.

Then he noticed the silence. 

No monotone voice of Mr. Benton.

No student voices.

Nothing.

He glanced up.  All the faces in the room were staring at him.

“Mr. James, correct?” Mr. Benton’s multiple chins jiggled with the question and his frown. He looked at his clipboard because he hadn’t learned their names yet, so Tanner’s nod went unseen. “We don’t sleep in this class.” The teacher’s eyes compressed with what felt like hatred.

“I wasn’t.” Tanner didn’t have it in him to fight, but he also didn’t have it in him to listen either. He was just over everything. Everyone. He returned to his folded up version of himself, head resting on his arms.

“I said to sit up.”

“Actually, you didn’t,” Tanner said into the desk. “You said we don’t sleep in here.”

Mr. Benton cleared his throat, obviously annoyed. “Then sit up.”

Tanner didn’t move.

“I know what kind of kid you are,” Mr. Benton said, his voice so heavy with resentment the words seemed to splat on the floor when they fell from his mouth.

Tanner sat up, angry now, because this guy didn’t know anything about him or his life. He hadn’t even tried. He opened his mouth when someone else interrupted him.

“Why don’t you just leave him alone.” 

“Excuse me, Mr–”

Mr. Benton ran a finger down the names on his clipboard looking for who’d said it. The rest of the students sitting in their perfect rows glanced at one another, some covered their mouths with their hands while others dropped their chins to their chests.

“–Benton.” The voice was laced with so much sarcasm it fogged up the room. Between this kid’s mockery and Mr. Benton’s acrimonious landmines, it was quickly becoming a dangerous war zone. Tanner knew all about those.

Mr. Benton’s mouth flapped open and shut like a fish. “What’s your name?”

“Wait? You don’t know? Mr. Benton.”

Tanner turned to look at who was speaking. It was Griffin Nichols. They’d never been in the same class before, and had only started school together in middle school, so he didn’t know him, just of him and there was a lot to know. Rumor was that his dad was in prison for murder or something. Griffin slouched in his desk, leaning heavily against that stupid bar that held the desk to the seat. His right arm stretched out across the desktop in front of him and his legs took up way more square footage than he needed. For a fourteen-year-old, he looked kind of badass and tough. Like the son of a murderer. Tanner remembered one of his soccer teammates way back in seventh grade had told him a story of Griffin getting in a fight with some other kid for looking at him wrong, so he knocked out the kid’s front teeth. It had been a bloody story. Seventh grade shenanigans were always true and set in stone since none of them ever went to find out if shit that was said was authentic. But with murdering father on Griffin Nichols’s trading card, Tanner hadn’t felt an impending need to ask him. 

Nichols smirked at Mr. Benton as if he was getting ready to digest the teacher and spit him out.

“Yes,” the teacher looked at Griffin like he was no bigger than an ant he was ready to stomp on. “I’m Mr. Benton.” This was said like Nichols was on the lowest end of the intelligence spectrum. “What is your name?” Tanner wondered when Mr. Benton acquired the British accent. He’d enunciated those last words so clearly.

“I know. Mr. Benton.”

Mr. Benton’s face turned a terrible shade of red with purple splotches sliding around his necks. He smacked a girl’s desk in the front row. The girl—Holly Pilcher—jumped in her seat and then sunk down and away from his anger. “What’s his name!” Mr. Benton yelled at Holly.

“I don’t–” she whispered.

Griffin laughed. “Mr. Benton. Mr. Benton. Mr. Benton.” He shook his head and clicked his tongue. “Shouldn’t you know who your students are?”

“Get out of my classroom.”

Griffin stood and raised his arms toward the ceiling. “Thank you, Jesus!” He yelled. “You have saved me from hell.”

The class snickered.

Griffin grabbed his stuff and left the classroom with the flourish.

Tanner couldn’t help but smile.

“Mr. James!”

Tanner rotated his head back to the teacher who now had both hands on Holly's desk and was leaning forward, his red face coated in a sheen to match his pants, and spittle collecting on his lips. “Leave.”

“What did I do?”

“Get out!”

“Fuck,” Tanner snapped, grabbed his bag and slammed out of the door.

Griffin was leaning against the brick wall opposite the classroom door, arms crossed over his chest with what looked like bored indifference. “You’re welcome,” he said to Tanner.

Tanner shook his head and turned down the hall toward the office.

“That’s all the thanks I’m going to get?”

Tanner could hear Griffin’s steps behind him until they were walking down the hall side-by-side. 

“I got kicked out for you.”

“For me? I got kicked out of class and have to go see the VP, and you think you need thanks?”

Griffin chuckled. “Definitely. First, it got you out of that awful place and second, that douchebag was going to kick you out anyway. Now, you don’t have to go alone.”

Tanner glanced at Griffin who was watching the floor as they walked through the hall. His dark blondish-brown hair was long and obscured most of his face. Then he looked up and swiped it out of his eyes. He smiled which seemed to soften the hard edges of his features and held out his hand. “I’m Griff.”

“I know who you are, Nichols.”

He nodded. “I know who you are too, James. Your brother died back in elementary school.”

Tanner’s heart stopped up at the same time his feet stopped moving him through the hallway.  The hallway collapsed around him, burying him underneath the weight of brick, posters that read Fall Festival Dance, and lockers. When he blinked, however, everything was the same and Griffin was looking at him.

“Dude–”

“I don’t talk about that.”

Griffin searched his face, frowning. “I hear you. I don’t talk about my dad either, but just so you know, he didn’t murder anyone.”

Tanner nodded and started walking again. “Cancer. Rory died of cancer.”

The hall was silent around them, though a stray sound from the classrooms beyond their sphere infiltrated the space like pin pricks.

“Drugs and weapons.” Griff cleared his throat.

They walked through the hallway, silence and a sliver of truth between them.

“Thanks,” Tanner finally said. He glanced at Griff who looked at him without actually turning his head.

Griff gave him a crooked grin and a nod. 

They walked the rest of the way to the office in silence, but for some reason, that silence felt a lot like climbing out onto the roof outside Rory’s room and finding peace among the stars. For the first time in a long time, Tanner didn’t hate that he was at school.

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