Erin Huss's Blog, page 3

Friday Funny

Rain!

Southern Californian's canNOT drive in the rain.We're taught at an early age.As a matter of fact, I remember my first grade teacher instructing us to drive as erratically as possible at the first sign of rain.I can't even tell you how many cars I have seen turned the wrong way on the side of the freeway when a light mist appears.No other car around just a single car facing the wrong way.Or slammed against a railing.With the driver standing outside of the car, holdingan umbrella,looking at their car, confused as to why going the normal 90mph on the off-ramp caused this railing to jump off the side of the road and hit their car.So, needless to say, I only venture out in the rain if needs be.Like I need sugar or hairspray or something important.However, when a particular resident came in and said she would not be leaving her house today I was perplexed.I mean, yes there are some crazy drivers out there.BUT this particular resident is in the process of an eviction.All she had to do was show up to court today.Otherwise, default judgement to PlaintiffSeriously!?Wouldn't you brave the storm?Did I mention the court house was across the street?

Let's Meet!

Should I Buy My Landlord A Present?

You're welcome.Need ideas?-Gift Card to Target-A box of See's-A really good book-Manolos size 30.5Oh wait...sorry. That's my Christmas list.I think when it comes to buying a gift for you landlord/property manager it's the thought that counts.Unless that thought is to make homemade baked goods.Or to buy one of those gift baskets with fig jam and smoked salmon.Or...actually....just get a box of See's.You can never go wrong with a box of See's.

Still Can't Pay My Rent Out Today!

Still Can't Pay My Rent is out today!In this hilarious sequel toCan't Pay My Rent, Cambria Clyne, the heroine ofFor Rent, is presented with 31 new reasons why the rent can't be paid. It's a fun, short read, perfect for a gift!Buy ithere. And 100% of my proceeds are going to my friend here, Karter.Karter Linscott is a 5 year old little fighter who has been battling leukemia for the last two years.You can read more about Karter's journey and how else you can help here.

IF YOU SUBMITTED AN EXCUSE...

IF YOUR EXCUSE WAS USED IN STILL CAN'T PAY MY RENT, PLEASE EMAIL ME AT ERIN@THEAPARTMENTMANAGERSBLOG.COM AND I'LL SEND YOU A FREE EBOOK.THANKS!SHEILA, TEXASSATEL, OREGONJAIME, INDIANAASHLEY, NEW JERSEYKATHRYN, CALIFORNIAJULIE, MONTANADENIS, NORTH CAROLINAASHLEY, COLORADOJESSICA, WASHINGTONCRYSTAL, TEXASDONNA, MISSOURILARI, NORTH CAROLINAMANDY, ST. LOUIS MISSOURICASSONDRA, CALIFORNIAJUDY, NORTH DAKOTAAMANDA, WASHINGTONSHAQ, WISCONSINJEANNINE, TEXASSARAH, WISCONSINCHELSEA, CALIFORNIA

How to Deliver Bad News

Anyone ever attend one of these webinars from MulitFamily Insider?I saw this one and thought it was interesting. I mean, is there really an art to delivering bad news?I once had a resident who would not stop feeding the feral cats in the vacant field next to our community. Yes, I like cats. Yes, I want them to have food. But when I've got a resident who can't go to work because a cat crawled under his car cover and gave birth in his backseat, I've got to address the problem.I asked that the resident not feed the cats anymore, or at least not feed them on the property. She ignored me and continued to leave food in the carports. After I found a litter of kittens in a vacant unit, I knew she had to go. My boss gave me a 30-Day Notice to Vacate to serve to her. Which would have been a whole lot easier if this resident didn't love to argue. She'd leave daily messages about what I, or her neighbors, we're doing wrong (if you've read For Rent this should sound familiar). I served her the notice and ran away, not wanting to say anything she could use against me.She followed me home and screamed through my front door. Calling me every name you can think of. The next day she came in and nicely asked me to write her a letter of recommendation so she could find another apartment.Really?Clearly, I need to work on my delivery. 

When Reality is Stranger than Fiction

The apartment building I managed had been taken hostage by a tagger with poor grammar and a Sharpie.Profanity, vulgar artwork and nonsensical symbols had been scrawled all over the washing machines, the gym equipment, sidewalks, vacant units, my car… As soon as we painted over one tag—another would show up somewhere else.This went on for months.So when I saw the kid from apartment 16A hauling a defaced nightstand out to the dumpster, I grabbed my binoculars (what, you don’t keep a pair on your desk?) to get a better look. From my post, the scribbles on the nightstand appeared similar to what I had just scrubbed off the carports.I dashed over to the maintenance closet, discovered the stepstool had been stolen, again, and grabbed the three-times-my-size ladder instead. I set the ladder up next to the dumpster, took a gander inside and, wouldn’t you know it, the nightstand was covered in the same symbols, artwork and accompanying profanity.Gotcha!Tagger may have won the 233 battles I had to paint over, but I had just won the war.I snapped a picture. Wrote the Notice to Vacate. Gave it to my husband to serve, and went back to the office to wait for the backlash.Rule number 422 of property management—there’s always backlash.Roughly twenty-minutes later, in came Tagger with his two barely-there-facial-haired friends. He was going for intimidation, but I stood strong—mostly.Tagger was mad. Felt my kicking him out was unwarranted. His argument? "I haven't tagged in a few days, though."His buddies all nodded to confirm this was in fact true.When I assured him the statue of limitations was longer than forty-eight hours, he rolled his eyes and said, “It’s not that big of a deal. Calm down.”Side note: Telling the person, who spent an hour cleaning off the butthole and F-word you drew on the maintenance garage to calm down, will only fan the flame.Next, in came Tagger’s mom. She told me, "My son is a good kid. He really is. He just has ADD and that is why he has to tag. I tell him to go across the street to do it but sometimes he doesn't listen."Palm, meet forehead.After I threatened to press charges, Mom finally gave up, called me the devil, and stormed home to write a bad Yelp review.Shaking, and on the verge of tears, I Googled “apartment manager therapy group” only to find there was no such thing. I then clicked over to Blogger and created The Apartment Manager’s Blog, wrote my tale of The Tagger and hit publish.The following day, I wrote about the homeless man I caught taking a shower in a vacant unit, and the time a drug-addicted ex-resident broke into my apartment, and the resident who hoarded VHS tapes, and woman who asked me to make the rain stop so she could sleep, and the skinny dippers I kicked out of the pool, and the screamer, and the nudist, and the guy who ate his mail.I began using the blog as an outlet, purposely finding the humor in the craziness that was my job and writing it down, anonymously, for the few readers I had.And then something amazing happened—people began to read, comment and share my posts. I had created the therapy group I’d been searching for and became a blogger in the process.Years later, furnished with a wealth of inspiration, I began writing a fictional tale about a funny onsite apartment manager and the cast of crazy residents she dealt with on the daily.And you better believe I signed that publishing contract with a Fine Point Sharpie.I believe that's what they call a full circle.But the bookhere. 

Warning

Submitted:This property manager wasn't sure how to write "please give blow-jobs in your apartment and not in your car."

I Make Memes