E.M. Markoff's Blog, page 8
July 6, 2019
Happy #Caturday: The Assistant Goes in Search of Woodrats
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E. M. Markoff
June 29, 2019
Happy #Caturday: The Assistant Stops to Admire Preserved Flowers
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June 4, 2019
The Faceless God Will Be Published in 2020
E.M. deciphering the world of the Ellderet. Rob McElhenney stars as The Assistant aka Kanoqui the Feral Prince.
Ever since releasing The Deadbringer in 2016, I have been thinking about its sequel and what it means, both for me and for the world of the Ellderet. As that sequel, The Faceless God, took shape following the release of the prequel novella To Nurture & Kill in 2017, it grew and changed, and went places I hadn’t expected. While I originally expected to publish this year, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to push the release of The Faceless God to 2020.
So, will the wait be worth it? Yes! The patience that you readers have been kind enough to show me hasn’t been wasted. I’ve been using this time to further explore the world of the Ellderet and to grow professionally as an author. The time not spent typing away at the keyboard has been used exploring the many characters, their voices, and the world they live in. And those voices — each of them has their own story to tell, even the stubborn ones.
In addition, I’ve been fortunate to meet authors, artists, booksellers, and Bookstagrammers who have shared their wisdom or shown me support in one way or another. Support is a very powerful tool, and I would not be where I am if not for it. I also know more about how I work and what tools I was not aware I needed in my life. Does this mean that I believe I’m going to write the next Hugo or Stoker piece? Hahaha! No. What I do know is that The Faceless God will the best book it can be because I’m a better writer than I was a year ago, and that is what I want to give to my readers and my characters.
Still, the decision to delay the release to 2020 didn’t come naturally. I struggled a lot with this choice as the number one advice for indie authors is to publish often lest readers move on. Am I afraid that some of you will move on because I write at the speed of molasses? Yes, and I wouldn’t fault you for doing so. I mulled over the decision for longer than I probably should have, but if there is something I have always been good at, it is second-guessing myself to the point of worry.
The above being said . . .
To everyone who is waiting for the second installment of The Ellderet Series: I’m sorry. Perdóname. Know that when the The Faceless God is published, it will the story it is supposed to be. For better or for worse, the fact of the matter is that as I grow as an author (which won’t stop until I’m vulture food), so will the world of the Ellderet. Case in point, and a bit of behind-the-scenes info about The Faceless God:
As of this post, the book will have about three-ish arcs. Once I made the choice to postpone the sequel, I went back through the first half and began revising. There was always something that, to me as the author, felt off about the way I had written a certain chapter. It was something I don’t think the reader would have ever noticed, but I did because it did not feel true to the character in question. Of all the characters in the world of the Ellderet, there is one (at the moment) who wanted to keep their secrets to themselves. Mind you, it was nothing plot-shattering, just basic everyday things. And while the way the chapter was written might have suited the character, it was not the character. So, I took hold of an idea that the original draft briefly mentioned in passing and fleshed it out. The character immediately felt at home with that change, and since then we’ve been in contact. The overall story will be the same, but what is different is how the character is shown and presented. The idea was always there, I just needed to reshape it, polish it, and tease out its heart.
So, 2020, huh? What about in the meantime . . .
Am I making a duck face?? Photo taken by Loren Rhoads at Bay Area Book Festival 2019.
In the meantime, you can check out my first ever published short story in Tales for the Camp Fire, “Leaving the #9” (all profits from the sale of this anthology will be donated to Camp Fire relief and recovery efforts). Its a diverse psychological horror story that follows Adelia, a working class cook who dreams of a better life. Her sense of reality is shaken when strange occurrences begin to disrupt her attempts to achieve her dream. It may (may) not take place in the world of the Ellderet, but the story and the characters are in the same vein.
If you’ve gotten this far, thank you. I can do what I love because of readers like you, who have given me a chance. I hope you will continue along with me and wait for a bit longer to find out what happens next in the world of the Ellderet.
Till next we meet.
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June 3, 2019
Guest Post: Kill Switch - A Horror Anthology | Edited by Emerian Rich & Dan Shaurette
As technology takes over more of our lives, what will it mean to be human, and will we fear what we’ve created? What horrors will our technological hubris bring us in the future?
Join us as we walk the line between progressive convenience and the nightmares these advancements can breed. From faulty medical nanos and AI gone berserk to ghost-attracting audio-tech and one very ambitious Mow-Bot, we bring you tech horror that will keep you up at night. Will you reach the Kill Switch in time?
******************************************************
A sneak peek inside…IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDERDAPHNE STRASERTTHE IMPLANT WAS a breeze. Daemon had ordered the Iriz online, agonizing over each feature, then shipped it directly to his doctor.
“Shouldn’t a doctor be here for this?” Daemon asked the nurse as she swabbed around his eye with a medicinal cotton ball which burned his nose.
The older woman chuckled, causing the nametag pinned over her breast—reading Denise—to jiggle.
“Honey, if the doctor had to be here for the whole of every Iriz implant, he wouldn’t have time for anything else.” Denise set aside the cotton ball, then soaked another and continued swabbing. “He’ll be in when he’s needed. Don’t you worry. It’s routine.”
Routine. Of course.
It seemed like everyone had an Iriz these days. Daemon couldn’t blame them. The things were damned useful. They could answer messages, set appointment reminders, take pictures, give directions, and remember coworkers’ names, all in the blink of an eye. Literally.
The electronic prosthetic connected directly to the optic nerve. Control was seamless. No voice commands or hand signals required. Of course, the buyer had to be willing to lose an eye first. But what was an eyeball, anyway? Just a meaty bit of flesh. Sure, it was a wonder of evolution and biology, but the Iriz had built in wireless internet.
As Denise filled syringes with a clear liquid, Daemon saw the iris of her right eye contract and whirr.
“How long have you had yours?” he asked.
She smiled but didn’t look back at him. “About a year. The hospital paid for the staff to get them. Though I gotta say, I use it for a whole lot more than work.”
“Who doesn’t?”
Iriz had apps for everything: news articles, exercise plans, games, scheduling, movies, and books. There were Iriz alarm clocks, Iriz step counters, and Iriz life coaches. The direct brain mapping meant everything the user looked at stayed in the privacy of their own mind. Apps captured real-time images of the users’ days and stored them on the Cloud so they could go back and save any important memories they didn’t want to miss. The Iriz did everything but live the person’s life for them. And increasingly, it seemed users even wanted it to do that.
Denise tapped the syringe a few times, then approached Daemon, pointy end first.
“Hold still, this will poke for just a second.” Daemon winced when the needle punctured the skin near his left eye socket, though he didn’t mean to. Almost as soon as the pain registered, the nurse pulled back and it was gone. She set the syringe aside. “I hope you read all the fine print. I don’t think most people do.”
“It’s not a problem,” Daemon assured her. “I know it pretty well.”
“That so?” Denise asked, arranging the tools on the tray rather than looking at him, giving Daemon the impression she registered his voice but not what he’d said.
“Sure. I designed it.”
For the first time since stepping in the room, the nurse stopped what she was doing and looked at Daemon, really looked at him.
Daemon shifted in his seat and glanced down. He knew he didn’t exactly look like the business guy type with his beat up sneakers, unkempt hair, and acne scars. He was the brains behind Iriz, not the money.
Daemon had developed the technology, he and his team of scientists, engineers, and programmers. Everyone played their part, but Daemon knew the Iriz like a surgeon knew the back of a scalpel as it sliced through human viscera. He had stayed through every sleepless night of development from drawing the initial specs to running the final quality control check.
“Well,” said the nurse. “You’re all ready to go, Mr. Iriz Creator. The doctor will be here as soon as that anesthetic has time to set in.”
The procedure was over before Daemon had the time to work up any real nerves about it. The doctor blew in and shook his hand, then there was a little pop, a little snip, a little crimp, and voila! A brand new eye, better than the one he’d had before.
*
Daemon drove slowly on the way home, adjusting to the constant stream of information fed through the Iriz. With its high-speed connection to the near-unlimited data of the Iriz network, information presented itself before he even consciously thought to ask for it: GPS directions, real-time traffic updates, song lyrics, even the relationship status of the gorgeous woman in the convertible next to him.
It was strange to see programs he had worked on for years actually operating in front of him. He’d poured years of his life into Iriz, so he was a little proud…and a little disappointed too. Watching as his Iriz neatly remapped his route home to avoid an accident on the highway, he couldn’t help but feel the whole thing was a little…trite. Iriz had amazing capabilities, but almost none of them were feature ready yet. Most just sat in his apartment, waiting to be presented, then rejected by the Iriz upper management.
Once Daemon got home, he could add a few professional modifications, some programs of his own design. Not all personal data was accessible to every member of the Iriz network, but with a little creative coding, there wasn’t anything Daemon couldn’t know, whether it was a credit score or a person’s sexual preferences.
******************************************************
EDITED BY:
DAN SHAURETTE
& EMERIAN RICH
STORIES BY:
H.E. ROULO, TIM O’NEAL, JERRY J. DAVIS, EMERIAN RICH, BILL DAVIDSON,
DANA HAMMER, NACHING T. KASSA, GARRETT ROWLAN, DAPHNE STRASERT
PHILLIP T. STEVENS, LAUREL ANNE HILL, CHANTAL BOUDREAU, GARTH VON BUCHHOLZ
Buy Now
Visit HorrorAddicts.net
June 1, 2019
January 2, 2019
#Writerslife 2018 Year In Review
Happy New Year 2019, everyone!
“Que salga lo viejo y entra lo nuevo,” or “Out with old, in with the new.” I welcomed 2018 with those words, and with a pot of water tossed out the front door. I met many wonderful authors and artists in 2018 and hope to showcase their works in a future blog post dedicated to them.
For now, here’s my #writerslife 2018 year in review. If you want to get the full story behind the pictures, click on the image and hover over them. For mobile: tap the small white dot on the bottom right of your screen to enable the text.
Let the 2018 year in review begin!
The Assistant greets the new year
Women's March + signature gathering
Live From Death Row: A Conversation With Kevin Cooper
The 15 Aspects of Tezcatlipoca
Book 2 back cover art reveal
SF SPCA 150th Anniversary Exhibit
FOGcon 8
My very first panel as a speaker
Solidarity
Interview
I got to be an extra in an indie horror film!
New cover!
The Assistant inspects
Silicon Valley Comic Con 2018 | San Jose, CA
Prop F: Stop Unfair Evictions
TO NURTURE & KILL spotted in the wild!!!
#SaveMidtown
4th Annual Bay Area Book Festival
Taking a stand
Imagination Fair at Baycon 2018
Carnaval SF 40th Anniversary
The Assistant ponders
Beds For Bayview Protest
#StopTakingChildren
NGIBA Ceremony | NOLA
2018 ALA Annual Conference | NOLA
#AbolishICE
Idle No More - Decolonizing Our Activism Workshop
AuthorFest | San Mateo Public Library
Bayview Hunters Point Lennar Shipyard Protest
Moderating my first panel
Worldcon 76 | San Jose, Ca
12 Year Anniversary
Oh. My. Gawd.
Coffee Ad Infinitum
Podcast Interview | Unreliable Narrators
2nd Annual Tales of Horror | San Mateo Public Library
2nd Annual Tales Of Horror | San Mateo Public Library
Indie Author Day 2018 | Livermore Public Library
Sinister Creature Con 2018 | Scottish Rite Center
Swoon
Spanish Translation Stints
A Night of Grimdark, Horror, & Fantasy
Spanish phone banking up until the very end
2018 Indigenous People's Sunrise Ceremony | Alcatraz Island
The Assistant makes a friend
#ImposterSyndrome
Celebration of Winter Solstice
Ended the year helping assemble these zines
At long last . . .
2019: The world of the Ellderet
September 26, 2018
E.M. Markoff Podcast Interview by Unreliable Narrators: Indie Publishing, Death in Mexican Culture, Sexism, & The World Of The Ellderet
Welcome back! Today, I want to share a podcast interview I did with the wonderful folks over at Unreliable Narrators, a few of whom I had the opportunity to meet at Fogcon 8. They asked some great questions that touched upon the premise behind The Ellderet Series, my literary influences, the pluses and minuses of being an indie author, the very important role my culture plays in my works, and if I have ever been stereotyped because I am a woman. Spoiler: yes.
We also talked about Roger Corman’s The Pit and The Pendulum, the various Dracula films from Hammer Horror, The Assistant (my cat), the Horror Writers Association, and my thoughts about the Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Please check out the interview :)
Welcome to the world of the Ellderet! Indie author @tomesandcoffee joins us to discuss #ownvoices, dark fantasy, horror, sexism, and how her Latinx culture informs her work. https://t.co/2A5NhM6e5Q
— Unreliable Narrators (@UnreliableFeed) September 25, 2018
One more thing! I got behind on finishing up my blog series on Worldcon 76, but I’m still planning to get that done soon. It’ll probably be more like a goodies wrap-up, because I realized that I already said everything I wanted to say in my own right in the last three blog posts I did on Worldcon. Check those out here!
Moderating My First Panel While Working Through Social Anxiety
My “The Mexicanx Initiative” Experience
The Personal Responsibility of Being On A Panel That Addresses Imposter Syndrome & Mental Health
Next post: “The Elusive Unicorn That Is The Worldcon 76 Wrap-up + Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading (video)" or some such title.
September 5, 2018
Worldcon 76: The Personal Responsibility Of Being On A Panel That Addresses Imposter Syndrome & Mental Health
Welcome to my "Worldcon 76" series, where I'll be breaking down my time at the world's longest-running science fiction and fantasy convention.
Caveat: I am not a medical professional. What I'm going to talk about reflects my personal experiences and observations.
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At Worldcon 76, I was fortunate to be a speaker on a panel addressing imposter syndrome. Here's the description of the panel:
IMPOSTER SYNDROME: YOU DO DESERVE TO BE HERE
Imposter syndrome can often feel like being a side character in a horror movie: you know the monster is gonna get you, but you don't know when. Many authors--from just starting out to long-time pros--experience imposter syndrome, especially people who are marginalized. We wonder if we "really" belong; we wonder if everyone else knows we're faking-it-til-making-it; but when will someone call our bluff? Imposter syndrome is common and we can continue our work despite the doubts. So, how do we deal with it? What techniques do you employ to make it to the end credits?
The panel was excellently moderated and touched on a number of points that people with imposter syndrome can use to move forward. Some of the techniques discussed to help "make it to the end credits" included using writing as a cathartic release, viewing your insecurities as monsters that you can conquer, #buildaladder by adding rungs - no matter how small - to help you climb out of your darkness, learn to say "thank you" and to accept praise, or to reward yourself with something positive, like "cake".
them: you’re an amazing writer
— J. Jennifer Espinoza (@sadqueer4life) September 4, 2018
imposter syndrome: they’re just being polite
them: your work has literally changed my life
imposter syndrome: so polite of them to say that
them: i even got a tattoo of a line you wrote
imposter syndrome: they’re very dedicated to being polite
Another great bit of advice related to how one can approach writing their own biography. Singing your own praises can be hard, and it can sometimes lead to a downward spiral of depression as you question each accomplishment and wonder if it was a fluke. So instead, try pretending that you are writing about someone else. Sounds pretty straightforward and obvious, but imposter syndrome is many things but logical.
However, there were also some negative comments made about imposter syndrome and mental health that came up during the panel that I called out and which I'd like to respond at more length. Before I continue, I ask that you please look over the panel description once more. To me, I feel like the description is not worded in a way to suggest an academic mental exercise of what imposter syndrome is; rather, it described a safe space where people can go to realize that they are not alone and that they DO indeed belong.
Yes, I realize that a panel is not a support group, but to me, it is inappropriate to dismiss the very real suffering of mental health by telling callous anecdotes, even if you mean well. You're not helping. On the contrary, you very well may be making things worse. So here are a few points that I think people need to keep in mind when discussing sensitive topics relating to mental health.
Do not assume that if someone FAILS TO seek treatment it means They enjoy feeling that way.
In America's awful system, people don't have a right to healthcare. And even when you do have healthcare, it can sometimes take weeks to see a doctor and the "out-of-pocket cost for care is often too high for this to be a realistic option for most consumers." That brings me to my next point: Privilege. Not everyone can afford to pick up the bill for whatever costs the insurance decides not to pay, or to buy their medication without the very real risk of not having enough money for tomorrow. This is not the fault of the individual; this is the fault of a system that deems that in order to receive healthcare you must be able to pay for it and then some. The bottom line is that everyone needs to remember that not all people "have equal care to treatment and service."
Everyone experiences mental health differently
Just because you were able to "get over it" does not excuse you from telling someone suffering from mental health to "get over it" as well. I've got mad respect for you if you managed to come out on top and never look back, but in your journey to become that stronger you, do not erase or superimpose your experiences on others. It can do more harm than good because there is not a "one-size-fits-all cure" for mental illness. The best way to help is to be supportive and to know your own limits as the person giving the support.
Do not mistake support with Attention seeking
I'll give a personal example. As the clock ticked closer to panel time, I started to question if I had the right to be a speaker. Ironic, really, but not surprising, though I had hoped I would be able to at least keep from being paralyzed. Nope. Sometimes I can pull myself out of these moments, sometimes I can't. That afternoon was a huge "can't," so I turned to my support: the hub.
The hub could have easily told me I was overreacting (because I started to cry) and that everything would be fine and to just get over it, but he didn't. He chose to be that support, to be empathetic, and that empathy is what kept me from caving in.
Do Not generalize mental health with jerks
The heart of the issue that came up during the panel was the question of when does support become extortion. It's a very valid question, but not one that should be answered with the broad generalization that anyone not seeking professional help is just an attention seeker. That type of response is not helpful and can feed the negative stigma associated with mental health.
My response: Do not confuse toxic friendships and relationships with someone suffering from mental illness. I know this is easier said than done, but I really feel like this piece by Miss Misery breaks down the difference between someone just needing extra support and jerks:
The dilemma, in my mind, boils down to this: when you’re ill, the minimum amount of help you need may be more than the maximum amount your loved ones can give. Are you a jerk for asking for that help?
I think the answer to these questions is definitely no, it doesn’t make you a jerk just to ask for extra sympathy and attention where your mental illness is concerned. However, to avoid being inconsiderate or thoughtless, one key condition must be met: you must make an honest and genuine effort to minimize how much you take from your caregivers. A sick person demands patience; a sick person who’s also a jerk demands unnecessary patience. For example, someone who has been conditioned that their caregivers will get them anything they want and abuses that privilege is probably behaving like a jerk.
The key concept that separates jerks from the truly needy, then, is lack of consideration for the person in the support role. For example, when a mentally unsteady person frequently needs to talk to a family member about their problems, they’re just doing what they have to in order to survive. That doesn’t make them a jerk; it’s just an unfortunate circumstance wherein someone has to suffer.
Being someone's support, or caregiver, is not a glamorous job. There's a reason I have thanked my hub in my books as the person who "spends time with me in the abyss." If you struggle with understanding the difference between actual jerks and someone just needing extra support in order to survive, then please go read Miss Misery's post: "People With Mental Illness Are Jerks."
Do not contribute to the negative stigma of mental health
A public platform, like a panel at a convention, is a powerful tool to help bring awareness and is not the place to be dismissive or make broad generalizations about mental health. Panelists should not be judgmental and should instead demonstrate understanding and awareness of people's suffering.
This post was supposed to have gone out on Monday, but I found myself struggling with finishing it because, well, imposter syndrome. Blogging, vlogging, and being on a panel (in particular a panel about imposter syndrome) are rungs I have added to my ladder and have helped me own my own voice so I can publicly speak about my struggles. But my dread at writing this piece was also a reminder of why I needed to finish writing it. I'm going to end this post with an open plea, not just to Worldcon but to anyone who attends any convention:
Dear convention-goers and panelists, if you do not feel anything for the topic being discussed (especially one pertaining to mental health) or do not feel you can contribute in an empathetic way, then PLEASE recuse yourself from the panel and let someone else - someone who can contribute positively to the discourse and help dispel stigma - take your place. Thank you.
Sincerely,
E.M. Markoff
Btw, in case you're wondering why I went with pictures of The Assistant to supplement this post, it's because he also plays a very supportive role in my mental health =^_^=
Final post in the series, "Worldcon 76: Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading (video) + Convention Wrap-up" or some such title.
E.M. Markoff Blog | Writer's Life RSS
August 30, 2018
Worldcon 76: My "The Mexicanx Initiative" Experience
Welcome to my "Worldcon 76" series, where I'll be breaking down my time at the world's longest-running science fiction and fantasy convention.
The Mexicanx Initiative was a scholarship fund started by artist John Picacio to bring more Mexicanx representation in science fiction and fantasy to Worldcon 76. The scholarship was awarded to 50 people of Mexican ancestry and, let me tell you, those 50 people made a HUGE impact.
The singular moment of a historic 1st day. We love you, @worldcon2018. (Photo by D.Chowdury) #United #Xup #Mexicanx pic.twitter.com/OfiGi2XcbM
— John Picacio (@JohnPicacio) August 17, 2018
ICYMI: Turn up your volume & check out this amazing @worldcon2018 montage video produced by my cousin @adriagonzales! Features cameos by @GRRMspeaking @gaileyfrey @RoanhorseBex @nkjemisin, my #Mexicanx people + Giant Dancing Robots. https://t.co/RaZg12NuBD
— John Picacio (@JohnPicacio) August 27, 2018
When I first realized this was a thing, I got both ridiculously excited and worried that the experience would be watered down. Considering who started this initiative, I should have known better than to think watering down would be allowed!
Full statement read by me at @worldcon2018's Opening Ceremonies, featuring words by my friend and ally, artist @laurenrayesnow. She's brilliant and deserves all good things coming her way. #Mexicanx #Xup pic.twitter.com/rDBmVzdi7n
— John Picacio (@JohnPicacio) August 27, 2018
The Mexicanx Initiative made Worldcon 76 a powerful experience for me because I got to see myself represented on those panels, in those stories, in the language, the idioms, the anger at the injustices of deportation, criminalization, forced separation and herding of children from their parents, and so much more. An entire reading and some panels were done solely in Spanish - 100% en español. This might not seem like a big deal, but it is. Just look up the #ownvoices and #weneedmorediversebooks hashtags. I hope this kind of inclusion of other languages and cultures is the beginning of what future Worldcons and other conventions in the genre can be and, frankly, should have been a long time ago.
The American narrative is not everyone's experience.
When Rose Lemberg (yes, I know they are not Mexican, but they are badass) said this, I had to literally restrain myself from jumping out of my seat and cheering "Thank you!!!" This is not an exaggeration. Having been raised by an immigrant mother meant that my experiences growing up did not follow the "American Narrative," and many customs I grew up with are different from those experienced by most people brought up as "American." On New Year's, to name just one example of something that most kids in America don't grow up doing, we would toss a pot of water out the front door at midnight and say "Que salga lo viejo y entra lo nuevo," or "Out with old, in with the new." I have a lot to say about the American Narrative, but that's for another post. Thankfully, FLAMA exists to share my frustration via hilariously on-point sketches.
Often, not being part of the American Narrative has made it difficult for me to connect with people. Now let me be clear: this is not my mother's fault for not "Americanizing" me enough; it is the fault of a society that idealizes and demands that everyone follow a single narrative.
The term "magical realism" is othering
The use of the term "magical realism" has always bothered me, though I could never eloquently pinpoint exactly why. The Mexicanx Initiative panels helped clear this up for me - it's because the term is othering. Let me explain what I mean.
First, from a personal perspective, it is trivializing to declare that elements of my culture are "magic." The customs that I grew up with - whether Día de los Muertos, or warnings about brujería, or carrying an ojo de venado for protection - are part of who I am. Yes, intellectually, I know that these things are based in supernatural beliefs, but slapping the term "magic" on them dismisses them as silly stories, superstitions, a mere ethnic trope.
Second: "You're Mexican, so you must write magical realism, right?" This was an actual question that a reader perusing my artist's alley booth asked me at a convention last year. Yes, I know some argue that magical realism actually has more literary worth than so-called "genre" fantasy, but for me, a female Latinx author who wants to write fantasy novels and be accepted by that community, it hurts to be told what I have to write. And anyway, if so many of the conventions of "traditional" fantasy are themselves derived from European myths and folk tales (just look at Tolkien), why do stories with supernatural elements derived from Mexicanx culture get consigned to magical realism?
Borders divide families and are bullshit. However, borders do exist that keep people safe.
And no I'm not referring to the border dividing Mexico and the United States. That border is bullshit and ICE and CBP can go fuck themselves. I'm referring to the borders within the United States keeping the government from taking away more of what belongs to indigenous peoples. This very important distinction was made by a POC audience member. In my opinion, I don't think this discussion would have had a home at Worldcon had the panel that gave it a platform not come to pass. That panel was "Transgressing Borders."
Secondary worlds are a valid way of exploring one's culture
Hearing this from someone who is not from your culture is not the same as hearing it from someone who is. The latter holds power. As someone who incorporates my culture into the secondary world of the Ellderet, this meant a lot to me.
It's arrogant to assume that the base language spoken in SF/F stories is English just because the books are written in English.
Bravo! Enough said.
An inkling of other things I learned: that the distinction between "hard" and "soft" science fiction isn't a thing in Mexico; that Mexico's sf/f world is alive with a large number of novel ideas because many authors don't feel the need to limit themselves to what's popular; that YA is just beginning to really take off in Mexico; that some editors are negative on using character names sourced from languages that English-speaking audiences might find difficult to pronounce; and that I am not alone in my bilingual language experiences. I already knew this last one, but seeing it reflected on a panel at a convention dedicated to a genre I love - a genre that lacked representation when I was growing up - meant the world to me.
Panel after panel, as I sat in the crowd listening to the speakers, I couldn't help but look around at the other people and then back at the stage and think, "That's me."
"Ahí estoy yo."
Desde lo más profundo de mi corazón, gracias a todos que hicieron posible The Mexicanx Initiative.
Next post on Monday 9/3, "Worldcon 76: Don't Lump Assholes In With Imposter Syndrome & Mental Health Issues" or some such title. Sorry for the long delay between posts, but my 12 year anniversary with the hub is this Friday, and I want to focus on this milestone. Thank you for understanding
E.M. Markoff Blog | Writer's Life RSS
Wordcon 76: My "Mexicanx Initiative" Experience
Welcome to my "Worldcon 76" series, where I'll be breaking down my time at the world's longest-running science fiction and fantasy convention.
The Mexicanx Initiative was a scholarship fund started by artist John Picacio to bring more Mexicanx representation in science fiction and fantasy to Worldcon 76. The scholarship was awarded to 50 people of Mexican ancestry and, let me tell you, those 50 people made a HUGE impact.
The singular moment of a historic 1st day. We love you, @worldcon2018. (Photo by D.Chowdury) #United #Xup #Mexicanx pic.twitter.com/OfiGi2XcbM
— John Picacio (@JohnPicacio) August 17, 2018
ICYMI: Turn up your volume & check out this amazing @worldcon2018 montage video produced by my cousin @adriagonzales! Features cameos by @GRRMspeaking @gaileyfrey @RoanhorseBex @nkjemisin, my #Mexicanx people + Giant Dancing Robots. https://t.co/RaZg12NuBD
— John Picacio (@JohnPicacio) August 27, 2018
When I first realized this was a thing, I got both ridiculously excited and worried that the experience would be watered down. Considering who started this initiative, I should have known better than to think watering down would be allowed!
Full statement read by me at @worldcon2018's Opening Ceremonies, featuring words by my friend and ally, artist @laurenrayesnow. She's brilliant and deserves all good things coming her way. #Mexicanx #Xup pic.twitter.com/rDBmVzdi7n
— John Picacio (@JohnPicacio) August 27, 2018
The Mexicanx Initiative made Worldcon 76 a powerful experience for me because I got to see myself represented on those panels, in those stories, in the language, the idioms, the anger at the injustices of deportation, criminalization, forced separation and herding of children from their parents, and so much more. An entire reading and some panels were done solely in Spanish - 100% en español. This might not seem like a big deal, but it is. Just look up the #ownvoices and #weneedmorediversebooks hashtags. I hope this kind of inclusion of other languages and cultures is the beginning of what future Worldcons and other conventions in the genre can be and, frankly, should have been a long time ago.
The American narrative is not everyone's experience.
When Rose Lemberg (yes, I know they are not Mexican, but they are badass) said this, I had to literally restrain myself from jumping out of my seat and cheering "Thank you!!!" This is not an exaggeration. Having been raised by an immigrant mother meant that my experiences growing up did not follow the "American Narrative," and many customs I grew up with are different from those experienced by most people brought up as "American." On New Year's, to name just one example of something that most kids in America don't grow up doing, we would toss a pot of water out the front door at midnight and say "Que salga lo viejo y entra lo nuevo," or "Out with old, in with the new." I have a lot to say about the American Narrative, but that's for another post. Thankfully, FLAMA exists to share my frustration via hilariously on-point sketches.
Often, not being part of the American Narrative has made it difficult for me to connect with people. Now let me be clear: this is not my mother's fault for not "Americanizing" me enough; it is the fault of a society that idealizes and demands that everyone follow a single narrative.
The term "magical realism" is othering
The use of the term "magical realism" has always bothered me, though I could never eloquently pinpoint exactly why. The Mexicanx Initiative panels helped clear this up for me - it's because the term is othering. Let me explain what I mean.
First, from a personal perspective, it is trivializing to declare that elements of my culture are "magic." The customs that I grew up with - whether Día de los Muertos, or warnings about brujería, or carrying an ojo de venado for protection - are part of who I am. Yes, intellectually, I know that these things are based in supernatural beliefs, but slapping the term "magic" on them dismisses them as silly stories, superstitions, a mere ethnic trope.
Second: "You're Mexican, so you must write magical realism, right?" This was an actual question that a reader perusing my artist's alley booth asked me at a convention last year. Yes, I know some argue that magical realism actually has more literary worth than so-called "genre" fantasy, but for me, a female Latinx author who wants to write fantasy novels and be accepted by that community, it hurts to be told what I have to write. And anyway, if so many of the conventions of "traditional" fantasy are themselves derived from European myths and folk tales (just look at Tolkien), why do stories with supernatural elements derived from Mexicanx culture get consigned to magical realism?
Borders divide families and are bullshit. However, borders do exist that keep people safe.
And no I'm not referring to the border dividing Mexico and the United States. That border is bullshit and ICE and CBP can go fuck themselves. I'm referring to the borders within the United States keeping the government from taking away more of what belongs to indigenous peoples. This very important distinction was made by a POC audience member. In my opinion, I don't think this discussion would have had a home at Worldcon had the panel that gave it a platform not come to pass. That panel was "Transgressing Borders."
Secondary worlds are a valid way of exploring one's culture
Hearing this from someone who is not from your culture is not the same as hearing it from someone who is. The latter holds power. As someone who incorporates my culture into the secondary world of the Ellderet, this meant a lot to me.
It's arrogant to assume that the base language spoken in SF/F stories is English just because the books are written in English.
Bravo! Enough said.
An inkling of other things I learned: that the distinction between "hard" and "soft" science fiction isn't a thing in Mexico; that Mexico's sf/f world is alive with a large number of novel ideas because many authors don't feel the need to limit themselves to what's popular; that YA is just beginning to really take off in Mexico; that some editors are negative on using character names sourced from languages that English-speaking audiences might find difficult to pronounce; and that I am not alone in my bilingual language experiences. I already knew this last one, but seeing it reflected on a panel at a convention dedicated to a genre I love - a genre that lacked representation when I was growing up - meant the world to me.
Panel after panel, as I sat in the crowd listening to the speakers, I couldn't help but look around at the other people and then back at the stage and think, "That's me."
"Ahí estoy yo."
Desde lo más profundo de mi corazón, gracias a todos que hicieron posible The Mexicanx Initiative.
Next post on Monday 9/3, "Worldcon 76: Don't Lump Assholes In With Imposter Syndrome & Mental Health Issues" or some such title. Sorry for the long delay between posts, but my 12 year anniversary with the hub is this Friday, and I want to focus on this milestone. Thank you for understanding
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