M. Mehwar Anjum's Blog, page 2

5 centuries later it is still very relatable :)

5 centuries later it is still very relatable :)

Writing to feel better

I didn’t write this for you. Its my own therapy.

I am in a precarious state. Having done a meeting I had dreaded for some time now. I feel bad. Almost depressed, except this is not depression. This is just being dismal and losing hope by thinking that I’ve lost everything. That is not true.

Faithless are those who say farewell as the road darkens (or some shit like that) -Tolkien

Just a quick look through my Medium profile would show you that I’ve been inactive for awhile (while you’re at it, read some of my posts and do what you gotta do). That’s because I thought I had nothing to write. Actually I did have things to write about. I just didn’t feel like writing. You could have termed it a ‘writers bloc’ especially considering the fact that it’s been more than a year since I wrote something of my second novel.

Yep, I haven’t written a word of it since last August probably

So what happened? Why did I stop writing? I think because somewhere in these past months I realised that my writing was well not up to the mark. I don’t how I came to the conclusion but it seemed resolute and definite. I kind of read books then like there was no tomorrow. Read 130 already this year. Hah!

But coming back, I’ve got average scores in English subject in my high school and first year of college. That’s pretty fucking disturbing for a guy who reads tonnes of novels and is a self proclaimed blogger/novelist! The funny truth however is, and I just stumbled upon it right now, is that I don’t give a flying fuck. When I’m writing I feel good, and whether you care or not, whether people read or not, I’ll continue spinning these cockadoodle-y tales of wackiness and profoundly jumbled thoughts.

Maybe there’s another thing at play here, I have this existential crises every couple of weeks. I need this acknowledgment or achievement or accomplishment to convince myself that I exist. Maybe everyone does that and I’m just voicing out loud a clandestine internal accord of all humanity. So writing is one way of getting acknowledgement. However, again a glance of my profile or blog stats would be sufficient evidence to prove that I don’t write for money or fame or ‘acknowledgement’. Heck! I gave the copies of my first novel for free! In this materialistic and nihilistic world, where even abstract entities like intelligence have a price, I gave the Mona Lisa of my puberty for free! While kids my age were busy exploring themselves I was writing my novel. Yeah, it’s a bit shitty, but it’s better than nothing. Yeah, it’s more like a novella but I don’t care. I’m just ranting now, am I not?

The day our college result came out, most people lost their shit and were worried about the future. This is how a conversation between me and a friend went. A friend who got a F in Physics.

So I asked this guy, to teach me his ways. Admit me in to the Order of Don’t-give-a-fuck-ers. Make me an apprentice. He told me the first step is not to give a shit. So,

I don’t give a shit about what you think

I don’t give a shit whether you like me or not

I don’t give a shit to your unwanted opinions and kind words

Another person gave me perhaps a better advice: Do whatever pleases you, whatever makes you feel better. So that’s what I’m doing. Writing. And I might forget all of this sometime. I am a self destructive entity: a human, after all. But at the very core, I write because it gives me pleasure. Because it makes me feel better

1 clap= I read it and I think it was good but not good

1 clap= I read it and I think it was good but not good

And then for every point you like or favourite just clap one more time xD

I am very sorry, I am not interested in your article but for some god-forsaken reason the title…

I am very sorry, I am not interested in your article but for some god-forsaken reason the title made me think of Pokemon. Maybe because it has the words Poke and mo- are in close proximity. Or maybe it was lying somewhere in my mind. Or maybe because my whole childhood was spent following Ash Ketchum and his adventures…I am sure this is a very serious post, so I am sorry again.

I think there’s a pretty simple solution to this clapping conundrum where you don’t know how many…

I think there’s a pretty simple solution to this clapping conundrum where you don’t know how many claps is enough.

I just press the clap button whenever the post I’m reading is interesting/funny/awe-inspiring/beautifully written/convincing etc.

That being said I still think there should be a sort of ‘Bravo’ or ‘Recommend’ button for those exclusive posts which you just simply absolutely love

Cc: Ev Williams

Cc: Ev Williams