Suzanne DeWitt Hall's Blog, page 4

In remembrance of Phil Gebhardt

Our friend Phil died this week, after several years of exhausting physical struggles. He had a quiet wisdom and humor, and a deep mystical understanding of the presence of the sacred in things which spring from dirt.

During the time we shared, he inspired me, as in this poem, which I originally wrote in 2019. May his spirit rejoice in transformation.

THE SCANDAL OF MESSY ABUNDANCE

by Suzanne DeWitt Hall

Our cemetery guide explained

that the shining white obelisks

dwindling into the sky

signify our journey toward God.

When doing it right

we disappear at the very tip

when stone ends

and God begins.

 

He drove on,

slowing our bus disguised as a trolley

to show us

a fruit-heavy paw paw tree

then stopping so we could glean.

 

A friend from our war-torn church

named Phil

led the way, and I followed.

 

Phil planted a garden

in our church yard

beneath a spire

which signifies our journey toward God.

 

It's messy, that garden

with zinnias and bursting tomatoes

dying cucumber vines

and sprawling overgrown greens

which may be weeds

or sweet potatoes

or the most gorgeous fall blooms

waiting to surprise us

if we resist the urge

to tame the tumult.

 

The murmurers inside don't like it

overgrown and frowzy

too full of life and chaos

too free with invitation

for people who are not them

to come

to pluck

to be filled.

 

Phil led the way

toward the paw paw steeple

which signifies a tree's journey toward God.

I followed, bending to step beneath

low branches

fruit scattered on the ground

in messy abundance

some overripe and rotting

some eaten by those who were not invited

     those who dared forage on sacred ground

     dared stare up at edifices of stone

     dared taste the sweetness growing there

without permission.

 

We gathered the fruit which

had not yet grown soft and brown

had not been ravaged

by the hungry teeth of rodents

of vermin

of other.

 

We gathered until our hands were full

and then boarded the trolley

which wasn't.

 

We handed the fruit

to whoever wanted a taste

of what grows so close to death

the sweetness side by side

with sorrow

our journey toward God not up

into the sky

but in the fecund earth

and the faces of the people

reaching to taste.

One year ago today...

 

A year ago today I received a contract offer from Woodhall Press for The Language of Bodies. 

It was a long journey to get to that place. I began playing with the idea of a novel set in a Wild West wax museum in 2017, and then the shocking murder of a young transgender woman named Ally Steinfeld drove my decision to center the story around someone who lost a loved one in a similar way. The writing took several years, followed by what seemed like endless editing. I eventually pitched it to about 75 agents and editors. Form rejections or complete silence were the norm, but a few people replied with feedback which I incorporated while I kept submitting. 

It was an exhausting, dispiriting process, as most authors know.

In January of 2020, the ever serene Laura Strachan of the Strachan Literary Agency offered to represent my strange, lovely book, and the cycle of submission resumed, though this time, she did all the work and I merely waited impatiently. After a year and a half of her efforts, Woodhall's offer arrived. 

Declan bought me flowers. I probably cried.

The year which followed has been its own journey, peppered with firsts. The first feedback from a publishing house editor. The first formatted version of the manuscript. The first round of potential covers. The first time seeing my novel on Amazon. 

Declan is a wonderful champion. He reminds me regularly of how hard it was to get to where we are today: less than a week away from the book's launch on October 4. I don't think I could have pushed through all the discouragement if it weren't for him. And of course, the novel itself would never have been written without him. Our love is the heartbeat of the book; the pounding drive of Maddie's rage and sorrow, the depth of her passion, and the dark beauty of her memories. 

We're in the final countdown now. The days will soon dwindle to hours, and the book will be out for the world to read. It's exciting, and terrifying. I'm tired and exhilarated from the endless work of spreading the news. And through it all I think about Ally and all the other transgender people who simply wanted to live their lives, and the suffering of those who live on after their loved ones were taken from them.

I have so many hopes for this weird book. I hope the opening pages grab readers and pull them into a strange world of heartbreak and laughter, of dark thoughts and soft memories, of an irritating wax Jesse James, and the lulling comfort of old cookbooks. I hope readers cry, and giggle, and worry about Maddie, and think more deeply about the particular beauty of bodies and the profound depth of love. I hope I've made Declan proud, and I hope for a world to come when people like Maddie's wife Char, and young women like Ally can live out their lives in peace.

We'll see what happens. Meanwhile, today is an anniversary of a very significant first. And we're going to celebrate.

Find The Language of Bodies at the following booksellers or your favorite book store:

Bookshop.org    Indiebound.org    Barnes and Noble    Amazon

So this happened today...

 

Screams.

Faints.

Dances.

It's a good day.

First library sighting!

 

Here's a thing you may not know authors do: 
Google their own books. Particularly near launch. 
And when we do, we sometimes find fun surprises, like this!
The Language of Bodies is appearing in public libraries. It just doesn't get any better than that.

THE LANGUAGE OF BODIES featured in Kings River Life Magazine

Psyched to see my debut novel in this list of great titles!

Day 3 of the launch party countdown!

 Introducing: Maria!

Day 2: Scent of a junk shop

The protagonist in THE LANGUAGE OF BODIES is named Maddie Wells. She'll meet someone who turns out to be very important in a shop which looks kind of like this one.
 

Countdown to launch party begins!

 

My debut novel, THE LANGUAGE OF BODIES has it's launch celebration one month from today! To honor the countdown, I'm going to post a pic of something featured in the book each day, along with a quote which applies to it. Today it's the first two lines from the prologue. 
Hope you enjoy the journey!

On deciding what kind of creature to be

On a recent morning walkabout with the dogs, I checked the burgeoning blanket of vines growing from a butternut squash I'd left on the counter too long and tossed into the central flower bed months before. A vibrant burst of butterfly startled away, it's flutter the same rich yellow as the blossoms. I peeked beneath the leaves, checking for swelling in places buds used to be, but found nothing but flowers in varying stages of bloom.

A patch of iridescent agitation buzzed nearby; a small mound of flies crawling and lifting into the air, then settling again. It was hard to tell what gathered them; dead slug, vomit, feces.

Declan and I have been navigating through shifting clouds of darkness lately, seeking light, seeking wholeness, seeking hope. Struggling to know when to speak and when to shut up, when to try to "help" and when to withdraw. What battles to enter, and what to watch from a distance. 

It's been overwhelming, and our spirits are tired.

This mass of flies buzzed a message in their incessant hovering, their addiction, their feasting. Their inability fly away from the festering pile. They can't help it, of course; their beings are captivated by decay. 

Watching it made me recognize the rightness of the direction our decisions have been stirring; the urge to startle and flutter away. To be drawn by beauty rather than rot, and to fly when the tender flesh of our spirits is threatened.

We all have to decide which kind of creature we want to be. 

And we have chosen.

Does the title "SEX WITH GOD" freak you out? Have a listen.

On Monday I had the pleasure of discussing my book SEX WITH GOD with Midge Noble for the GAY with GOD! podcast. We talked about intimacy, shame, and the inability to do anything without God's presence. 

We also talked a little about THE LANGUAGE OF BODIES. 

Have a listen.