Jen Gilroy's Blog, page 7

The blessings of friendship in life & books

Returning from my blog hiatus, I welcome new subscribers and send warm wishes to you all.

Along with family, both my romances and women’s fiction celebrate the blessings of friendship.

The bonds I share with friends are amongst the most important in my life and I enjoy reading stories about friendship too.

Life friends

Loyal. Sympathetic. Trustworthy. Kind. Sincere.

Not only words that apply to Floppy Ears, they also come to mind when I think of my human friends.

The small group of trusted writer friends with whom I share the ups and downs of this career and who nurture me in life as well as work.

The high school friend who’s now a staunch support to “writer me,” buying and reading my books and popping up daily on social media to remind me I’m not talking into a void.

My sister-cousin who’s there for me whenever I need her, both practically and by lifting me up in prayer.

Then there’s the friend of thirty plus years who seems to have a sixth sense for when my life is in crisis. She always calls at just the right moment and not only offers emotional support, but pithy wisdom and an “attitude” that makes her both staunch ally and force to be reckoned with.

The older neighbour who’s become like a second mother, offering maternal wisdom along with home-baking and other “just because” treats.

And the virtual friends I’ve connected with through social media. Boosting and encouraging me in life and writing, they represent the best of the online world, and how it can help us make positive connections and learn from others far beyond our immediate circles.

These and many others make my life better and also shape how I explore friendship in my writing.

Friendship in books

As a reader, I’ve always been drawn to bookish friendships.

In L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables, Anne and Diana are “kindred spirits” and “bosom friends.” I first read the Anne books in childhood and Anne and Diana’s bond continues to influence how I approach female friendship in both my life and ficton.

And since I’ve recently been immersed in reading about England in the Second World War as background for a women’s fiction novel I’m writing, I’ve been struck by how important friendship was in those wartime years.

The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle by Jennifer Ryan is a 2022 release and Second World War women’s fiction novel set on the British home front.

I loved this heartwarming story of three women who, at a time of clothes rationing, come together through mending wedding dresses and, while helping others, change themselves and find love too.

The Railway Girls series by Maisie Thomas (a dear real-life friend) is also set in wartime England, and is about a group of women who ‘do their bit’ by working on Britain’s railways whilst the men are away fighting. Each wonderful book (the newest, A Christmas Miracle for the Railway Girls, is out this autumn) celebrates strong female friendships.

 I hope you have friends to cherish in life and books. Do you have a favourite book about friendship? 

The blessings of friendship in life & books

Returning from my blog hiatus, I welcome new subscribers and send warm wishes to you all.

Along with family, both my romances and women’s fiction celebrate the blessings of friendship.

The bonds I share with friends are amongst the most important in my life and I enjoy reading stories about friendship too.

Life friends

Loyal. Sympathetic. Trustworthy. Kind. Sincere.

Not only words that apply to Floppy Ears, they also come to mind when I think of my human friends.

The small group of trusted writer friends with whom I share the ups and downs of this career and who nurture me in life as well as work.

The high school friend who’s now a staunch support to “writer me,” buying and reading my books and popping up daily on social media to remind me I’m not talking into a void.

My sister-cousin who’s there for me whenever I need her, both practically and by lifting me up in prayer.

Then there’s the friend of thirty plus years who seems to have a sixth sense for when my life is in crisis. She always calls at just the right moment and not only offers emotional support, but pithy wisdom and an “attitude” that makes her both staunch ally and force to be reckoned with.

The older neighbour who’s become like a second mother, offering maternal wisdom along with home-baking and other “just because” treats.

And the virtual friends I’ve connected with through social media. Boosting and encouraging me in life and writing, they represent the best of the online world, and how it can help us make positive connections and learn from others far beyond our immediate circles.

These and many others make my life better and also shape how I explore friendship in my writing.

Friendship in books

As a reader, I’ve always been drawn to bookish friendships.

In L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables, Anne and Diana are “kindred spirits” and “bosom friends.” I first read the Anne books in childhood and Anne and Diana’s bond continues to influence how I approach female friendship in both my life and ficton.

And since I’ve recently been immersed in reading about England in the Second World War as background for a women’s fiction novel I’m writing, I’ve been struck by how important friendship was in those wartime years.

The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle by Jennifer Ryan is a 2022 release and Second World War women’s fiction novel set on the British home front.

I loved this heartwarming story of three women who, at a time of clothes rationing, come together through mending wedding dresses and, while helping others, change themselves and find love too.

The Railway Girls series by Maisie Thomas (a dear real-life friend) is also set in wartime England and each wonderful book (the newest, A Christmas Miracle for the Railway Girls, is out this autumn) celebrates strong female friendships.

 I hope you have friends to cherish in life and books. Do you have a favourite book about friendship? 

The “dog days of summer” and a blog hiatus

It’s the time of year here in Canada that my mother and grandmothers called the “dog days of summer.”

Between late July and early August, life slows.

Road traffic isn’t as heavy. Email volume is lighter. Even social media engagement drops as life outdoors is more appealing than one via a screen.

It’s also when I usually go on holiday. If you subscribe to my monthly reader newsletter which went out several days ago, you already know I’m going to a lakeside cottage for a week, the same one we’ve rented for the past two years.

Lake life

Although I’m an avid traveller, I’ve come to appreciate quieter holidays too and am looking forward to the unstructured joys lake life brings.

Kayaking is a special delight because getting out on the water for a gentle paddle is one of the ways I refill my creative well.

I also love childhood pleasures like toasting marshmallows over a campfire, mid-afternoon visits to the local ice cream stand and doing jigsaw puzzles.

Vacation is a time for reading too and I’ve got a stack of books, physical and virtual, set aside.

Along with not writing, I go off social media and stay away from the news.

Instead, I watch waves lap against a sandy shore. I watch clouds as well and let my mind drift.

I also spend time with my family. With English Rose at university, the days of family vacations are limited—and precious.

A blog hiatus and writing news

After a busy six months, I need to stop, reassess and regroup. As such, I’m taking a hiatus from blogging until September.

In the meantime, and in case you missed it, I was recently interviewed by British author Paula Greenlees. Paula writes historical women’s fiction and her debut, Journey to Paradise, set in post Second World War Singapore, is a fantastic, thought-provoking read.

I chatted with Paula about why I’m now writing historical fiction (alongside contemporary romance), the best thing that’s ever happened to me, how I’d like to be remembered and more. Read that interview here.

The German translation of one of my backlist small-town romances, The Wishing Tree in Irish Falls, has also just been published by Penguin Verlag. Available in bookshops in Germany, Austria and Switzerland and from all online vendors, I want to escape into this gorgeous book cover!

Eine Mitteilung an deutsche Leser über “Mein einziger Wunsch bist du” (A message from me to German readers).

Wishing you summer (or winter for those in the southern hemisphere) joys of your own.

“See” you in September!

Changing my sleep & changing my life

Some of us, like Tech Guy and Floppy Ears, can sleep anytime, anywhere.

That’s not me.

However, in the past month, I’ve slept better than I have in years. While I may never be a consistently “good sleeper,” I’m on track to becoming a “better” one.

Sleep restriction therapy

In May, when I had my first in-person appointment with my nurse practitioner (NP) post-pandemic, top of my list was sleep…or rather lack thereof. Having already tried a range of “sleep hygiene” remedies, I was desperate for help in falling asleep and waking up the next morning feeling if not refreshed at least more functional.

It was then my NP mentioned “sleep restriction therapy” offered by another NP at a nearby clinic.

I had nothing to lose and, potentially, everything to gain. In my foggy, sleep-deprived state, I said “sign me up.”

The first appointments

At first, it seemed counter-intuitive to restrict my sleep to sleep better but I was determined to try.

I began to keep a sleep diary to track my sleep efficiency, the ratio of total sleep time to time in bed. And then I’m given a sleeping and waking plan to improve that efficiency.

Bed…but no books

The plan has been hard. Much harder than I anticipated.

For the initial ten days, I was more tired than ever.

I was too groggy to drive a car or ride my bicycle. I took Tech Guy with me when walking Floppy Ears in case I nodded off mid-route.

With no naps allowed after ten in the morning, I forced myself to stay awake until my appointed bedtime. No matter how tired I felt, I also forced myself out of bed at my designated waking time.

Perhaps most difficult was the ban on reading in bed and having to enjoy books elsewhere.

In this new regime, bed is only for sleep (or sex!).

Just breathe…

In parallel, I was also referred to four sessions of a one-hour weekly meditation group focused on breathing and relaxation.

Together with my ongoing sleep plan, it’s helped, big time.

One breath, one night at a time

Six weeks in, my sleep efficiency score is much improved. I fall asleep more quickly and also stay asleep. Some mornings, I even feel, dare I say, “rested.”

I still have “bad sleep” nights but they’re fewer than before and meditative breathing helps.

Much like writing a 90,000 word book one word, one day at a time, when it comes to sleep I now focus on one breath, one night.

Although I’ll likely always miss reading in bed, it’s a small sacrifice for better rest and overall health.

And while I’m still “training” my family that reading elsewhere in the house doesn’t mean I’m constantly interruptible, changing my sleep is changing my life in ways that are good for all of us.

As for Floppy Ears? Her life—and sleep—are unchanged. We do, however, need to work on what she uses beds for, especially ones that aren’t hers!

Recipe from “The Sweetheart Locket,” a book tour & an unexpected angel

Instead of a regular blog post today, I have several bits of news to share, as well as an anecdote about an unexpected angel who brightened my day when I needed it.

Make a cake featured in the The Sweetheart Locket

Earlier this week, I wrote a post for Novel Noshing, a blog series organised by author and literary agent Susan Nystoriak, about food in books.

The Sweetheart Locket, my WW2 dual-time women’s fiction novel and first largely British-set book features food from my English life.

My favourite cake is the British Victoria Sponge and I mention it several times in the story.

My guest post for Novel Noshing offers a look-behind-the-book as well a recipe (UK and US versions) to make a Victoria Sponge for your own British-inspired afternoon tea.

Read the post here.

The Sweetheart Locket is going on tour…virtually

If you missed it in my June reader newsletter, The Sweetheart Locket will be on a virtual book tour from 28 June to 2 July 2022.

Find out more here and follow the tour schedule for reviews, exclusive book excerpts, interviews with me, giveaways and more.

Thanks to organiser Rachel’s Random Resources and participating bloggers for what will be a fun and busy time with 25 stops over five days.

An unexpected angel

As we all do, I’ve had some recent personal and professional challenges.

One day last week I took Floppy Ears for a walk in the hope that fresh air and exercise would bring clarity to certain situations and help me take a new start where needed.

Even at eight in the morning, it was already hot and humid, and Miss Floppy Ears huffed and sniffed and dawdled with typical canine obliviousness to my deadlines and long to-do list.

Rounding the corner of a nearby road, someone walked toward me from the other direction.

When crossing paths, we exchanged greetings and chatted about the weather.

I then tugged a reluctant Floppy Ears on our way, but the person turned back to me and said: “Have a blessed day, my dear.”

Only a few simple words between strangers but so powerful. In that instant, I felt “blessed” and had a new sense of hope in a way as profound as it was unexpected.

I was also reminded of “Angels Among Us,” a song originally recorded by the American country band, Alabama, Tech Guy and I included in our wedding ceremony almost twenty-six years ago to that day.

At a time I felt alone, frustrated, worried and tired, an angel was there when I needed them—and despite taking the same route daily, I hadn’t seen them before or since.

Coincidence perhaps, but I like to think someone was watching over me.

If you’re interested, listen and watch the official music video  of “Angels Among Us” on YouTube here.

From soya beans and a septic system to swatting mosquitoes in a schoolhouse: Connecting with my rural roots

There was an election in my Canadian province last week and I worked at a polling station to help the democratic process run smoothly.

As well as a fun day meeting new people, it was also a journey into my own past and Canadian rural life.

Smartphones, soya beans and a septic system

Farmers with smartphones chatted about spring seeding and delays in planting soya beans (soy beans) because of rain and wet fields.

Friends and neighbours caught up on family and local “doings” and a photo of a new baby was shared with everyone including poll staff.

Part of the job was monitoring parking to ensure voters didn’t leave vehicles on the lush green grass beside the polling station. Why? The septic tank (used for waste treatment in areas without a central sewer system) was beneath it.

And when one of the people who’d installed the septic system arrived to vote, soon followed by a local builder, both asked poll staff if we needed their help to pitch in and fix anything…just because they were there and had tools in their trucks.

Much like in my small-town romances, rural life is a connected life where people still say “hi neighbour” and look out for each other.

Swatting mosquitoes in a schoolhouse

The polling station was housed in a one-room schoolhouse, now community hall, built in 1875.

Near the farm where my maternal grandmother grew up, she’d have known the building well and may have attended classes there.

Along with the poignancy of seeing the old chalkboards and honey-wooden floor, I experienced something else that hasn’t changed since my grandma’s time.

Needing to leave the outside door propped open to welcome voters, I was swarmed by mosquitos all day.

Albeit more annoyance than health hazard, as one voter commented with typical rural Canadian wit: “At least you missed black fly season.”

My own rural roots

Ancestors on both sides of my mother’s family came to rural Eastern Ontario in the nineteenth century from Ireland, joining other migrants who flocked to Canada in search of a better life.

Almost two hundred years later, that family heritage persists in the names of roads, villages and farm properties where their descendants still live—evident when I checked current voter identification.

I also spotted names linked to my own family, and children (and grandchildren) of people I remember from summer visits to my grandparents.

And although now in decline, hearing remnants of the distinctive Ottawa Valley English dialect with echoes of Ireland took me back to being a child in my grandmother’s kitchen.

As I drove home that night, alongside fields long-ago family once tilled, I once again realized why I tell stories of family and community relationships.

They’re also stories I live and love—one day and book at a time.

Living and writing about mothers and daughters

Before English Rose was born, I didn’t know whether I was having a boy or a girl.

While I’d have loved a son as much as a daughter, part of me was relieved when the doctor announced the baby was a girl. As an only child with four girl cousins, I knew little about boys.

Yet, nothing in that feminine-centric youth prepared me for the wonderful but messy complexity of raising a daughter or the ‘mum’ part of the mother-daughter bond.

My daughter but not myself

From the start, English Rose and I were very different.

In many ways, particularly in terms of learning style, interests and personality traits, she’s more like my late mother than me.

Yet, my daughter is also her own person and I celebrate all of who she is, a great blessing in my life.

Ups and downs

Just as my relationship with my mother wasn’t without challenges, so too has my relationship with my own daughter had ups and downs.

Now I’m learning how to mother an adult daughter and navigating this new stage in our relationship. Beyond the turbulence of adolescence, it’s one where I hope I can be both mum and friend.

Mothers and daughters in my writing

As I explore mother-daughter relationships in fiction, my writing mirrors my life where matrilineal bonds have been singularly important.

From my Firefly Lake and Wishing Tree contemporary romances through to my Montana-set western romances and women’s fiction like The Sweetheart Locket, it’s not surprising that mothers, daughters and grandmothers take primary or secondary roles.

Reading about mothers and daughters

As a reader, I also gravitate to stories about mother-daughter relationships and have two stellar recommendations.

The Hourglass by Tracy Rees is a beautifully written dual-time story set in Tenby, Wales between the 1950s and 2015.

This moving novel about a mother, daughter and grandmother reminded me it’s never too late to change ourselves and our lives.

Among its many poignant messages is this one: “No matter how old you were, nothing was quite as comforting as being mothered.”

Find out more about Tracy and The Hourglass on Goodreads (at time of writing, the book is on sale on Amazon Kindle for 0.99 cents in the US & Canada, £1.99 in the UK) and connect with her on Twitter.

My second recommendation is another dual-time story, Anita Kushwaha’s Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters. Set in Ottawa, Canada, this lyrical and emotional inter-generational novel showcases family relationships alongside immigrant experiences. When I chatted with Anita about the book, she said:

“[It’s about] the ties that bind mothers and daughters together, and the secrets that tear them apart. I’m fascinated by the complexity of mother-daughter relationships…why we place such high expectations on each other and the cost of those expectations.”

Find out more about Anita and Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters on her website and read my interview with her here.

And finally, a friendly reminder that for a few more days the eBook of my mother, daughter and grandmother story, The Sweetheart Locket, is on sale in the US, Canada and UK for only 0.99 cents/pence at Amazon & many other vendors.

Reviewers have called it “one of my favorite reads this year” and “a wonderful dual timeline book with so much heart and courage.”

Get or gift a copy here. 

Back to bicycling..and a special 0.99 cent/pence deal on ‘The Sweetheart Locket’

As some of you know, I bought a bicycle in March, my first one in over twenty years. However, owing to a long and harsh winter, including snow in the last week of April, I wasn’t able to ride my new bike until last weekend.

Now, though, I’m trying to go for a short ride daily and am already seeing my neighbourhood, and myself, in new ways.

Up and down hills

A dear friend calls me “Jen up the hill” in reference to the distance between her home and mine.

However, until I got on my bicycle and felt the pressure in the backs of my legs when pedaling, I didn’t truly appreciate that the slow rise I encounter when walking Floppy Ears is indeed a hill.

I also discovered a new-to-me downhill slope by the stop sign at the corner of a nearby road and learned how to use my brakes in a hurry.

It’s like riding a bike

Although I was wobbly at first, both my muscle memory and balance soon returned and biking was as I remembered it with the wind against my face and joy of being on two wheels.

As a child, I learned to ride a bike using an older friend’s two-wheeler and still remember my excitement when the training wheels came off and I stayed upright while whizzing along the pavement.

I had the same feeling last Sunday afternoon, one of a skill learned long ago but never forgotten.

A new perspective

Having once been comfortable riding a bike with no hands, something that fills adult me with horror, so far I haven’t been brave enough to remove even one hand from the handlebars to wave at neighbours. 

And while potholes, pedestrians, dogs and squirrels are now hazards, I also now have a mental map of bicycle racks in my small town, am rejoicing in cycling trails I’d hardly been aware of previously and have even spotted cute bike-themed garden decor.

Cycling in middle-age

As a teenager too young to drive and in a one-car family, I biked to visit friends and get to places that would have otherwise involved a long walk or bus ride.

Nowadays, with a car in the driveway and many places I want to go in easy walking distance, I’m more conscious of biking to benefit my physical and mental health.

And while in my teenage years it wasn’t “cool” to have a basket, the salesclerk, close in age to English Rose, described my new bike and basket combination as “trendy vintage.”

It was only afterward I wondered if she was referring solely to me?!

A special limited-time 0.99 cent/pence deal on The Sweetheart Locket in the US, UK and Canada 

The ebook of The Sweetheart Locket is currently on an Amazon Kindle Monthly Deal for only 0.99 cents (or less) in the US and Canada, and the UK’s 0.99 pence promotion has been extended to match.

Readers are calling my new Second World War dual-time story one “of profound courage” and “warm, absorbing, and beautifully crafted” with “a satisfying ending.”

Find our more and get (or gift a book-loving friend) a bargain here.

 

Life lessons from fiction

In her reader Facebook group, The Petal Garden, author friend Rosey Lee posts uplifting, feel-good content that brightens my day and makes me think too.

One of Rosey’s recent posts led me to reflect about life lessons and I realized many of mine have come from reading fiction.

Romantic fiction, women’s fiction and second chances in life and love

I began reading romance as a teenager and in the decades since, romantic fiction has given me hope, encouragement and a firm belief that second chances are always possible.

In romance, as well as women’s fiction, female characters find the courage to change their lives and learn to listen to those inner voices telling them that they—and their dreams—are valid.

In such books, protagonists don’t only find love, they find themselves too, and and fulfilment in many parts of their lives in inspiring and celebratory ways.

Childhood reading

Since I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t reading or being read to, my first life lessons came from children’s books.

Anne of Green Gables taught me about resilience and standing up to bullies (the name Josie Pye still makes me shudder).

In Little Women, I absorbed lessons about female independence, kindness and forgiveness.

Nancy Drew taught me about bravery, trusting my intuition and being open to adventure.

Charlotte’s Web helped me look for unexpected friendships, and in Ballet Shoes I learned how success in any pursuit requires hard work, perseverance and trying again after setbacks.

Historical fiction and time travel

As a reader, I love escaping into past worlds both real and imaginary, and particularly enjoy the new perspectives that come from travelling through time.

A recent read, Secrets of the Mist by Kate Ryder, juxtaposes contemporary British life with glimpses of the seventeenth century and English Civil War.

As I raced through the story, so absorbed I lost track of what was going on around me, I was reminded that vestiges of the past are all around us and present-day life—and certain people and places—aren’t always as they may first seem.

Some of the most important lessons of all

Once in a while, I find a special book filled with nuggets of life wisdom which resonate in more profound ways.

How the Penguins Saved Veronica (Away With the Penguins in the UK) by Hazel Prior is the heartwarming story of an eighty-something Scottish woman, the grandson she discovers late in life, and the Antarctic penguins that change both their lives.

Amongst many life lessons is this one:

“There are three types of people in this world…There are those who make the world worse, those who make no difference and those who make the world better. Be the one who makes the world better…if you can.”

More information & book links

Join Rosey Lee’s Facebook group The Petal Garden here.Kate Ryder, Secrets of the Mist (until 30 April 2022, the Kindle edition is on sale for 99p on Amazon UK here).Hazel Prior, How the Penguins Saved Veronica /Away With the Penguins (at time of writing the Kindle edition is on sale for 99p on Amazon UK here).

A sale, a book scene & ‘one of those weeks’

It’s been ‘one of those weeks’ for me. As such, this blog post is one of short updates but, I hope, some of you also find sweet.

Ebook sale on The Sweetheart Locket

First, I want to let my UK readers know that for a limited time the Kindle edition of The Sweetheart Locket, my recent Second World War and contemporary women’s fiction release, is on a 99p Amazon sale.

Giving the book 5 wonderful stars, Books and Bindings says:

‘An absorbing, heart-rending, and intriguing dual-timeline…Ms. Gilroy is not only an agile storyteller but a wily one full of surprises.’

Get a copy or gift it to a friend here.

The Sweetheart Locket is part of a three-book Dash Back in Time historical fiction promotion by my publisher, Orion Dash. Browse all the titles on Amazon UK here.

A scene from The Sweetheart Locket

In both the WW2 and 2019 stories, many scenes in The Sweetheart Locket are set in England and London in particular.

I fell in love in London when I studied at University College London and my first British-set book draws on some of those memories.

A piece I wrote for Frost Magazine’s ‘Sunday Scene’ celebrates London’s Bloomsbury area and its role in my life and The Sweetheart Locket.

Read more, including scene snippets, here.

One of those weeks

We’ve all had them. Times when we’re squeezed by life, family and work, with the unexpected disrupting best-laid plans.

Tech Guy, usually highly independent, has been been flattened by what his doctor says is likely Covid. Although he’s tested negative on rapid tests so far, such tests are apparently not as accurate with this latest variant.

At university, English Rose is writing her final first year exams and applying for summer work. It’s a new stage in my mum life and one requiring a whole new kind of mothering.

And the sweet?

Despite current life chaos, this season too shall pass.

And as both wife and mum, I’ve been needed this week in ways that touch my heart.

Floppy Ears is also an excellent furry nurse, and Tech Guy, too ill to get out of bed, complimented me on my tea making skills.

There’s an art and science to making his perfect cup of tea and maybe, after more than twenty-five years together, I’ve finally cracked it!