Lucy Adams's Blog, page 10
November 5, 2013
More Than One Way to Mark the Years
Today is my birthday. My dear grandmother, were she alive, would advise me to take to my bed with the vapors and let my family wait on me hand-and-foot for the duration of my annual illness. A southern lady to her core, my grandmother succeeded in dying without anyone, not even my grandfather, knowing her exact age.
But there's more than one way of marking the years. One doesn't have to come right out and garishly count them. As my grandmother would say, "That's so common."
This morning, in response to the birthday wishes from my children and husband, I pointed out, cheerily I might add, that I am halfway to a right angle. And, since my genetic makeup has instilled in me an innate need to always be right, especially when engaging my siblings, this is a fantastic milestone. Who doesn't want to be right? Right?
"It's like I'm halfway to heaven!" I exclaimed.
"You're just as close to flat lining," remarked my beloved spouse. (He's the risk taker in the family.)
My grandmother would advise me at this juncture that I have been far more graphic than a southern lady should. So adieu. I'm off to enjoy my birthday!
Reminder:
This month, every person who uses the buttons below to purchase a signed copy of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny or Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run or The Beast of Blue Mountain will be entered in a drawing to win an If Mama Don't Laugh apron (a $23.00 value). The apron reads If Mama Don't Laugh It Ain't Funny and is Teflon coated to resist stains. Winner will be selected in a random drawing and notified on Monday, December 2.
Buy one of each book and have your name entered in the drawing three times. Buying two of the three books enters your name two times. Buying one of the three books enters your name one time.
$14.95
$15.95
$9.95
But there's more than one way of marking the years. One doesn't have to come right out and garishly count them. As my grandmother would say, "That's so common."
This morning, in response to the birthday wishes from my children and husband, I pointed out, cheerily I might add, that I am halfway to a right angle. And, since my genetic makeup has instilled in me an innate need to always be right, especially when engaging my siblings, this is a fantastic milestone. Who doesn't want to be right? Right?"It's like I'm halfway to heaven!" I exclaimed.
"You're just as close to flat lining," remarked my beloved spouse. (He's the risk taker in the family.)
My grandmother would advise me at this juncture that I have been far more graphic than a southern lady should. So adieu. I'm off to enjoy my birthday!
Reminder:
This month, every person who uses the buttons below to purchase a signed copy of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny or Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run or The Beast of Blue Mountain will be entered in a drawing to win an If Mama Don't Laugh apron (a $23.00 value). The apron reads If Mama Don't Laugh It Ain't Funny and is Teflon coated to resist stains. Winner will be selected in a random drawing and notified on Monday, December 2.
Buy one of each book and have your name entered in the drawing three times. Buying two of the three books enters your name two times. Buying one of the three books enters your name one time.
$14.95
$15.95
$9.95
November 2, 2013
Give a Thoughtful Gift
Books make thoughtful gifts. The gift of a book says:
I think you're intelligent.
I think you have a big vocabulary.
I hope you'll let me read it when you're finished.
This month, every person who uses the buttons below to purchase a signed copy of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny or Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run or The Beast of Blue Mountain will be entered in a drawing to win an If Mama Don't Laugh apron (a $23.00 value). The apron reads If Mama Don't Laugh It Ain't Funny and is Teflon coated to resist stains. Winner will be selected in a random drawing and notified on Monday, December 2.
Buy one of each book and have your name entered in the drawing three times. Buying two of the three books enters your name two times. Buying one of the three books enters your name one time.
$14.95
$15.95
$9.95
I think you're intelligent.
I think you have a big vocabulary.
I hope you'll let me read it when you're finished.
This month, every person who uses the buttons below to purchase a signed copy of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny or Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run or The Beast of Blue Mountain will be entered in a drawing to win an If Mama Don't Laugh apron (a $23.00 value). The apron reads If Mama Don't Laugh It Ain't Funny and is Teflon coated to resist stains. Winner will be selected in a random drawing and notified on Monday, December 2.
Buy one of each book and have your name entered in the drawing three times. Buying two of the three books enters your name two times. Buying one of the three books enters your name one time.
$14.95
$15.95
$9.95
November 1, 2013
Countdown to Thanksgiving!
It seems like a month of Thursdays until Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving Countdown
Nothing gets me in the mood for Thanksgiving like The Turkey Song sung by my Thanksgiving hero, Adam Sandler:
Thanksgiving Countdown
Nothing gets me in the mood for Thanksgiving like The Turkey Song sung by my Thanksgiving hero, Adam Sandler:
October 31, 2013
How to Hold on to Your Chocolate at Halloween
Trick-or-treaters scope out neighborhoods. They know who is giving our Snickers minis and Reeses Cups. They spread the word about where to find M&Ms. They dodge the addresses where hard, peanut butter flavored blocks wrapped in orange wax paper are dropped in sacks.
It's great to get word that your house is the "good" house, but it could be even better to hold on to some of that chocolate for yourself for later. This is quite a conundrum in which to find one's self. The goal is to be the "good" and still have some chocolatey treats to spare.
To that end, I offer these tips:
1) Make the entry to your yard of Halloween hopes and horrors obvious and foreboding.
2) Point the way to the candy bowl, if the trick-or-treaters dare proceed.
3) Show them what happened to the last trick-or-treater brave enough to knock on the front door.
4) Reassure them that you take good care of trick-or-treaters.
5) Station a greeter to make the children feel welcome at your home.
6) Above all, be friendly. Say something like, "Hello children. I'm so glad you came. Mama's not feeling well tonight. Come a little closer so I can hear you screeeeeeeammmmmmmmm."
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
It's great to get word that your house is the "good" house, but it could be even better to hold on to some of that chocolate for yourself for later. This is quite a conundrum in which to find one's self. The goal is to be the "good" and still have some chocolatey treats to spare.
To that end, I offer these tips:
1) Make the entry to your yard of Halloween hopes and horrors obvious and foreboding.
2) Point the way to the candy bowl, if the trick-or-treaters dare proceed.
3) Show them what happened to the last trick-or-treater brave enough to knock on the front door.
4) Reassure them that you take good care of trick-or-treaters.
5) Station a greeter to make the children feel welcome at your home.
6) Above all, be friendly. Say something like, "Hello children. I'm so glad you came. Mama's not feeling well tonight. Come a little closer so I can hear you screeeeeeeammmmmmmmm."
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
October 29, 2013
Tuesday's Child Gets Things Done
You went to bed last night and put your head on your pillow and ruminated on the numerous Monday-to-do-list things you failed to accomplish. You agonized about adding them to your Tuesday to-do list. You tossed and turned, thinking you'll never get everything done this week.
Fear not, my friend. Tuesday is here to rescue you from your woes and restore restful slumber. Tuesday is the most productive day of the week. Tuesday knows you couldn't get it all done on Monday. After all, you needed a day to recover from sitting around on Sunday.
And Tuesday won't leave loose ends lingering for Wednesday, because Tuesday knows that Wednesdays are for celebrating camels. Who can get anything done when camels are wandering the halls and looking over your shoulder?
Tuesday will take on Thursday's load, too, since Thursday is practically the weekend. No one should work on the weekend. And Friday is just Friday and it's getting ready for Saturday. Friday can't focus on the to-do list because Friday's job is to plan ahead.
Tonight, you will sleep. Getting a monumental week's worth of work done in one day wears a person out. But just think how Tuesday opens a can possibilities for the other six days of the week. What will you do with those?
Fear not, my friend. Tuesday is here to rescue you from your woes and restore restful slumber. Tuesday is the most productive day of the week. Tuesday knows you couldn't get it all done on Monday. After all, you needed a day to recover from sitting around on Sunday.
And Tuesday won't leave loose ends lingering for Wednesday, because Tuesday knows that Wednesdays are for celebrating camels. Who can get anything done when camels are wandering the halls and looking over your shoulder?
Tuesday will take on Thursday's load, too, since Thursday is practically the weekend. No one should work on the weekend. And Friday is just Friday and it's getting ready for Saturday. Friday can't focus on the to-do list because Friday's job is to plan ahead.
Tonight, you will sleep. Getting a monumental week's worth of work done in one day wears a person out. But just think how Tuesday opens a can possibilities for the other six days of the week. What will you do with those?
October 25, 2013
Ghosts in the Garden
I spent the latter part of the afternoon protecting my peppers, butterbeans and cucumbers from the much hyped overnight freezing temperatures. I muttered to the cat, "It's not supposed to be like this in Georgia in October." The cat whined, "Feed me."
Her uncertain, unstable beginnings stunted her empathy. She seems not to remember that I snatched her from the teeth of death, just like I'm trying to do with my jalapeno plants. I doubt they appreciate my heroic efforts either.
My husband just walked in and said, "It's not supposed to get as cold tonight as the weathermen were saying." He and the forecasters care about my heroic deeds about as much as the peppers and the cat.
10 Things to Do in 6 Minutes
What can you accomplish is six short minutes? Six minutes doesn't seem long enough to do anything, does it? Think again:
10 Things YOU Can Do in 6 Minutes (with time to spare)
Floss your teeth.
Paint your nails (use the polish that dries in 60 seconds).
Plan a menu.
Write a grocery list.
Compose a handwritten note and address it.
Outline your next - or first - novel.
Make your bed.
Eat an apple (keeps the doctor away, you know).
Turn off lights around your home to save money.
Organize your silverware drawer.
The BIG question is, Where do you find 6 whole minutes ?
Keep the kids busy with audiobooks. The Beast of Blue Mountain audiobook is available from Audible.com and it just so happens to be 6-minutes long. They'll be so entranced by the suspense, the surprise and the giggles you will probably have an extra minute to just breathe.
Keep them busy a little longer with the print version, too, and who knows what mountains you can climb!.
10 Things YOU Can Do in 6 Minutes (with time to spare)
Floss your teeth.
Paint your nails (use the polish that dries in 60 seconds).
Plan a menu.
Write a grocery list.
Compose a handwritten note and address it.
Outline your next - or first - novel.
Make your bed.
Eat an apple (keeps the doctor away, you know).
Turn off lights around your home to save money.
Organize your silverware drawer.
The BIG question is, Where do you find 6 whole minutes ?
Keep the kids busy with audiobooks. The Beast of Blue Mountain audiobook is available from Audible.com and it just so happens to be 6-minutes long. They'll be so entranced by the suspense, the surprise and the giggles you will probably have an extra minute to just breathe.
Keep them busy a little longer with the print version, too, and who knows what mountains you can climb!.
October 23, 2013
Exercise is Not a Waste of Time
One of my current freelance projects is an article on Hot Yoga, a trend that hit my area of the country in the past year. This is how a basic class works:
20-50 people gather in a room with the door and windows closed.
The instructor jacks the thermostat up to 105-degrees and infuses the air with humidity up to 60-percent.
Everybody assumes downward dog while sweat drips off the tip of the nose.
The sauna posture is held for 60-90 minutes.
Essentially, it's the same workout I get from weeding my garden at noon in August, except that I have the benefit of doing it alone. And I don't have to look at my ghastly, frizzy-haired reflection in the mirror.
Activities like Hot Yoga, or any other event in which scads of people get together to sweat shoulder to shoulder, make me claustrophobic. Just thinking about it gives me an aerobic workout, making my heart race and my blood pressure rise. Setting the room temperature to summer-day-heat-index-warning doesn't put me in the mood to move my body. It makes me angry.
I took up running as my exercise outlet. It's autonomous and self-directed, and the only body odor I have to smell is my own.
Unfortunately, running is torture, too. I haven't kept at it. Every time I go out for a jog, I come home disappointed that I didn't achieve the runner's high. My husband says that I didn't because a bouncy walk is not the same as running. He's wrong. It is the same and it isn't why I couldn't get over the hump.
My problem is that the entire time I'm pounding the pavement a list of my daily tasks scrolls through my head. I agonize over the other things I could be doing. Do you know how many things a person cannot do while she's running?
She can't fold clothes.
She can't read a book.
She can't wash dishes.
She can't write a book.
She can't design a flower arrangement.
She can't clean out her car.
She can't return phone calls.
She can't take a shower.
She can't shop.
She can't eat a bowl of ice cream.
I felt confined by the condition of running. It was as claustrophobic as sweating shoulder to shoulder with a room full of strangers. Wasting time is not on my daily agenda.
Marathoner David Babcock shares my opinion. Twenty-six miles, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 27 seconds is a long way to go to get to the end and have nothing to show for it. So he knitted a 12-foot scarf while running the Kansas City Marathon. On top of that, he earned a place in the Guinness Book of World Records (something I've always wanted for myself). I hope that as a gesture of gratitude and good sportsmanship he gifted that monstrous neck wrap to the world's tallest man. At 8-feet, 3-inches, I bet the guy has a hard time finding a scarf long enough to accommodate his height.
So, Babcock proved that running isn't a total waste of time. A person can knit while she runs.
Maybe so. I'm going to stick to doing Hot Gardening poses alone in the bean rows. It's working for me.
20-50 people gather in a room with the door and windows closed.
The instructor jacks the thermostat up to 105-degrees and infuses the air with humidity up to 60-percent.
Everybody assumes downward dog while sweat drips off the tip of the nose.
The sauna posture is held for 60-90 minutes.
Essentially, it's the same workout I get from weeding my garden at noon in August, except that I have the benefit of doing it alone. And I don't have to look at my ghastly, frizzy-haired reflection in the mirror.
Activities like Hot Yoga, or any other event in which scads of people get together to sweat shoulder to shoulder, make me claustrophobic. Just thinking about it gives me an aerobic workout, making my heart race and my blood pressure rise. Setting the room temperature to summer-day-heat-index-warning doesn't put me in the mood to move my body. It makes me angry.
I took up running as my exercise outlet. It's autonomous and self-directed, and the only body odor I have to smell is my own.
Unfortunately, running is torture, too. I haven't kept at it. Every time I go out for a jog, I come home disappointed that I didn't achieve the runner's high. My husband says that I didn't because a bouncy walk is not the same as running. He's wrong. It is the same and it isn't why I couldn't get over the hump.
My problem is that the entire time I'm pounding the pavement a list of my daily tasks scrolls through my head. I agonize over the other things I could be doing. Do you know how many things a person cannot do while she's running?
She can't fold clothes.
She can't read a book.
She can't wash dishes.
She can't write a book.
She can't design a flower arrangement.
She can't clean out her car.
She can't return phone calls.
She can't take a shower.
She can't shop.
She can't eat a bowl of ice cream.
I felt confined by the condition of running. It was as claustrophobic as sweating shoulder to shoulder with a room full of strangers. Wasting time is not on my daily agenda.
Marathoner David Babcock shares my opinion. Twenty-six miles, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 27 seconds is a long way to go to get to the end and have nothing to show for it. So he knitted a 12-foot scarf while running the Kansas City Marathon. On top of that, he earned a place in the Guinness Book of World Records (something I've always wanted for myself). I hope that as a gesture of gratitude and good sportsmanship he gifted that monstrous neck wrap to the world's tallest man. At 8-feet, 3-inches, I bet the guy has a hard time finding a scarf long enough to accommodate his height.
So, Babcock proved that running isn't a total waste of time. A person can knit while she runs.
Maybe so. I'm going to stick to doing Hot Gardening poses alone in the bean rows. It's working for me.
I'm Out of Exercise Excuses
One of my current freelance projects is an article on Hot Yoga, a trend that hit my area of the country in the past year. This is how a basic class works:
20-50 people gather in a room with the door and windows closed.
The instructor jacks the thermostat up to 105-degrees and infuses the air with humidity up to 60-percent.
Everybody assumes downward dog while sweat drips off the tip of the nose.
The sauna posture is held for 60-90 minutes.
Essentially, it's the same workout I get from weeding my garden at noon in August, except that I have the benefit of doing it alone. And I don't have to look at my ghastly, frizzy-haired reflection in the mirror.
Activities like Hot Yoga, or any other event in which scads of people get together to sweat shoulder to shoulder, make me claustrophobic. Just thinking about it gives me an aerobic workout, making my heart race and my blood pressure rise. Setting the room temperature to summer-day-heat-index-warning doesn't put me in the mood to move my body. It makes me angry.
I took up running as my exercise outlet. It's autonomous and self-directed, and the only body odor I have to smell is my own.
Unfortunately, running is torture, too. I haven't kept at it. Every time I go out for a jog, I come home disappointed that I didn't achieve the runner's high. My husband says that I didn't because a bouncy walk is not the same as running. He's wrong. It is the same and it isn't why I couldn't get over the hump.
My problem is that the entire time I'm pounding the pavement a list of my daily tasks scrolls through my head. I agonize over the other things I could be doing. Do you know how many things a person cannot do while she's running?
She can't fold clothes.
She can't read a book.
She can't wash dishes.
She can't write a book.
She can't design a flower arrangement.
She can't clean out her car.
She can't return phone calls.
She can't take a shower.
She can't shop.
She can't eat a bowl of ice cream.
I felt confined by the condition of running. It was as claustrophobic as sweating shoulder to shoulder with a room full of strangers. Wasting time is not on my daily agenda.
Marathoner David Babcock shares my opinion. Twenty-six miles, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 27 seconds is a long way to go to get to the end and have nothing to show for it. So he knitted a 12-foot scarf while running the Kansas City Marathon. On top of that, he earned a place in the Guinness Book of World Records (something I've always wanted for myself). I hope that as a gesture of gratitude and good sportsmanship he gifted that monstrous neck wrap to the world's tallest man. At 8-feet, 3-inches, I bet the guy has a hard time finding a scarf long enough to accommodate his height.
So, Babcock proved that running isn't a total waste of time. A person can knit while she runs.
Maybe so. I'm going to stick to doing Hot Gardening poses alone in the bean rows. It's working for me.
20-50 people gather in a room with the door and windows closed.
The instructor jacks the thermostat up to 105-degrees and infuses the air with humidity up to 60-percent.
Everybody assumes downward dog while sweat drips off the tip of the nose.
The sauna posture is held for 60-90 minutes.
Essentially, it's the same workout I get from weeding my garden at noon in August, except that I have the benefit of doing it alone. And I don't have to look at my ghastly, frizzy-haired reflection in the mirror.
Activities like Hot Yoga, or any other event in which scads of people get together to sweat shoulder to shoulder, make me claustrophobic. Just thinking about it gives me an aerobic workout, making my heart race and my blood pressure rise. Setting the room temperature to summer-day-heat-index-warning doesn't put me in the mood to move my body. It makes me angry.
I took up running as my exercise outlet. It's autonomous and self-directed, and the only body odor I have to smell is my own.
Unfortunately, running is torture, too. I haven't kept at it. Every time I go out for a jog, I come home disappointed that I didn't achieve the runner's high. My husband says that I didn't because a bouncy walk is not the same as running. He's wrong. It is the same and it isn't why I couldn't get over the hump.
My problem is that the entire time I'm pounding the pavement a list of my daily tasks scrolls through my head. I agonize over the other things I could be doing. Do you know how many things a person cannot do while she's running?
She can't fold clothes.
She can't read a book.
She can't wash dishes.
She can't write a book.
She can't design a flower arrangement.
She can't clean out her car.
She can't return phone calls.
She can't take a shower.
She can't shop.
She can't eat a bowl of ice cream.
I felt confined by the condition of running. It was as claustrophobic as sweating shoulder to shoulder with a room full of strangers. Wasting time is not on my daily agenda.
Marathoner David Babcock shares my opinion. Twenty-six miles, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 27 seconds is a long way to go to get to the end and have nothing to show for it. So he knitted a 12-foot scarf while running the Kansas City Marathon. On top of that, he earned a place in the Guinness Book of World Records (something I've always wanted for myself). I hope that as a gesture of gratitude and good sportsmanship he gifted that monstrous neck wrap to the world's tallest man. At 8-feet, 3-inches, I bet the guy has a hard time finding a scarf long enough to accommodate his height.
So, Babcock proved that running isn't a total waste of time. A person can knit while she runs.
Maybe so. I'm going to stick to doing Hot Gardening poses alone in the bean rows. It's working for me.
October 21, 2013
Don't be Shy - Write a Novel with Friends
November is right around the proverbial corner, which means that Thanksgiving, Christmas and 2014 aren't far behind. The year is petering out. Have you done it? Have you accomplished the goals you spelled out on New Year's Day 2013?
No? Not even the novel you committed to writing?
All is not lost. There's still a chance to mark at least that one thing off of your list so you can call 2013 a success. November is the home of Nanowrimo - National Novel Writing Month. Sign up and say that you'll compose a 50,000-word narrative in one month. The Nanowrimo crew will provide help, support and encouragement throughout the endeavor. And you won't be alone. Thousands of writers take to the keyboard for this annual event.
BUT, if cooking the turkey and shopping for Christmas gifts crowds your calendar and you're just too intimated by doing the whole project yourself, don't worry. There are ways around that. You can still get your novel written and do it with loads of support from other writers. The folks at Grammarly can make your dream come true with Grammowrimo. The 50,000-word novel they propose will be a collaborative effort. You'll only have to type about 800 words and they provide cliff notes so you won't miss your cue. Sign up and contribute to the collective effort.
Make no excuses. Make a decision! Whichever option you choose, you'll have that nagging novel under your belt in November by the time the turkey sandwiches come out.
No? Not even the novel you committed to writing?
All is not lost. There's still a chance to mark at least that one thing off of your list so you can call 2013 a success. November is the home of Nanowrimo - National Novel Writing Month. Sign up and say that you'll compose a 50,000-word narrative in one month. The Nanowrimo crew will provide help, support and encouragement throughout the endeavor. And you won't be alone. Thousands of writers take to the keyboard for this annual event.
BUT, if cooking the turkey and shopping for Christmas gifts crowds your calendar and you're just too intimated by doing the whole project yourself, don't worry. There are ways around that. You can still get your novel written and do it with loads of support from other writers. The folks at Grammarly can make your dream come true with Grammowrimo. The 50,000-word novel they propose will be a collaborative effort. You'll only have to type about 800 words and they provide cliff notes so you won't miss your cue. Sign up and contribute to the collective effort.
Make no excuses. Make a decision! Whichever option you choose, you'll have that nagging novel under your belt in November by the time the turkey sandwiches come out.
