Amy Lane's Blog: Writer's Lane, page 78

Christmas Shopping--Mate and I

"Okay, so Squish gets the--"

"We already got her the---"

"But what do we have at home?"

"I forget-- did you get ZoomBoy the--"

"I thought you got him the--"

"But what did you order from the place?"

"Do they both get clothes?"

"Do they both need clothes?"

"But they always get clothes--and pajamas!"

"Pajamas! For the big kids! Does T need pajamas?"

"Does Chicken need pajamas?"

"Chicken lives in pajamas--these will do nicely, and Squish?"

"I have no idea."

"This!"

"Looks like a sweatshirt--she'll wear it to school."

"But it's so FLUFFY!!!"

"Just no."

"Fine. Minions as reindeer, and a sweatshirt and slippers and--"

"I was a in a phone coma. Put most of that back."

"Shit."

"Now Big T?"

"Those won't fit him."

"Do they have some that fit him?"

"No. Pennies tomorrow."

"Do we have to go tomorrow?"

"I don't know--what time is it now?"

"It's time to get in line, because we have to pick them up."

"Dammit. Can we get them this--"

"No."

"Or this?"

"I don't even know what that is! How about an electronic chess set?"

"Do they have those now?"

"Apparently not since the nineties. Oops."

"Sorry, hon."

"No worries, there's an app for that."

"But the thing, the thing for Squish, the thing you hate--"

"Yeah, fine, we need that."

"Yeah we do."

*in tandem* "HOLY FUCK WHERE ARE ALL THE LEGOS?"

"Well shit, Toys R Us Tomorrow?"

"And the place for the thing."

"And Pennies."

"And Hot Topic."

"And the place with the puzzles--"

"And you know what this means?"

*in tandem*  "HOLY SHIT WE HAVE TO GO TO THE MALL!"

And the line and the line and the line and the--

"Scuse me while I go get toothbrushes!"

And the line and the line and the line and the--

"And won't my parents friend's like this?"

And the line and the line and the line and the--

"Did we get anything for--"  "And what about--"  "And oh crap we forgot and--"

*in tandem*  "OH MY GOD, WE'RE DONG THIS TOMORROW!"

And the line and the line and the--

*in tandem*  "WE HAVE OUR OWN BAGS FOR THAT!"

"Great-- that's $.35 off."

*collective sigh*

*in tandem*  "After we get the kids, maybe we can go down for a nap..."

And Oh Crap!

So-- I've been getting to the part of my year where, periodically, I have a quiet moment, gaze serenely into space, and suddenly shout, "Oh crap!"

Because one more damned thing didn't get done.

Goddammit and oh crap.

So, while I run around and finish an edit and write my Christmas letter so we can send it out on Tuesday, I'm going to be grateful I got to do a couple of non-oh-Crap! things this weekend.

The first thing was I got to take the kids shopping. I was a little depressed that we didn't do Santa this year--but then, I looked at last year's blog about doing Santa and last year, Squish realized she was the tallest non-grownup in the line.  ZoomBoy was going to get upset, but I told him, "Look at that line! Look at it! Would you rather be in that line right now or right here, slurping Icees?"

Well, DUH!

The kids enjoyed themselves--the older kids came too--and they split up the family nicely so each kid only had to shop for three people. It was funny-- before we left I said, "Dammit-- we put Big T and Squish together. She's going to spend money like insanity, and he's going to lend her some more of his own."

We got to the next store, and there they were.  Big T said, "She ran out of her own money so I gave her another twenty."

Mate and I cracked up, and I slipped him another twenty--but damn. Do I know how to read those kids or what?

Speaking of which--Squish asked to watch Home Alone tonight. I'd forgotten how awful that movie was--besides the cartoon violence at the end, that kid's family was pretty awful to him. So, when Catherine O'Hara was being mean to her son and sending him up to sleep in the attic alone, Squish said, "That's bullshit. Real moms don't act like that!"

I have to say I was flattered. Her mom didn't act like that. Score one in  the motherhood department-- this time of year, we need the win.

Also--Squish took us shopping to Target for gifts for the Mustard Seed School-- that's the school for homeless children in Sacramento. She was a good shopper for that--I was very proud.

Also, we saw Rogue 1, which was SO worth seeing--but I sobbed. Like, UGLY CRIED at the ending. So be warned!  Fun fact--and I forgot to get a picture--was that ZB wore his Jedi Robe--the one his grandmother made him last Christmas, as well as the hat I made for him when Force Awakens comes out.  Bless his little heart! *sniffle*

Oh-- and we had frost again. The kids think it's the end of the world-- they can't remember it was ever this cold.

Wow-- I am so falling asleep here.

I've only got one more detail to add to this boring-myself-to-sleep blog.

We got the dog groomed. Yeah, I know. We all may die of cute!

Past and present

I had a totally different plan for this blog...

And then I discovered I could pull up blog pictures from ten years ago and it all went to hell.

Aren't my babies beautiful, back when they were babies?

I can't wait to show them these pictures tomorrow.

*sniffle*


After I've sobbed my eyes out.

I've probably mentioned that the two older kids have moved out, and that I miss them--even though we see each other every week and we text.

And now...

The younger kids are almost as old as the older kids in these pictures.

I know it's obvious that time passes--I mean, I know I'm not the same woman I was back then.

But I look at the future, and all it's uncertainty, and the horrible person who may hold their future in his hands--and I'm hurt.

They're still these kids in my heart.

And I promised them so much better in a world.

I told them that diversity was wonderful, and that if they worked hard they could change the things that were broken.

I told them that love mattered and that if they had enough of it in their hearts, they could fix things.

I told them people were basically good, and that if you talked to them like reasonable beings, most differences could be worked out.

And they look so happy here.

They believed me.

I believed me.

This last year has been hard on our faith, hasn't it?

But my older kids still look to me for guidance, and the younger once don't see a world that's changed or frightening.

They see things as they have always been with their family around them.

And I need to remember that there is much that is good about our lives.

Last night, appalled by the destruction in Aleppo, I clicked one of those websites that had a list of things you could do for that situation.

Turns out, I was already doing two of them.

I've got a big fucking poinsettia in my kitchen--two of them, in fact. One is from my parents--and the list of their good deeds to the world at large is long and impressive. Ride-to-Walk, Mentorship programs, biking and horse toy drives--hell, my dad was Santa for something like ten years. For ten years, on Christmas Even, he and my mom and a getaway driver  (because these neighborhoods weren't awesome) would take a sack full of toys-and socks and underwear and food and clothes and love--to a kid who had written a letter to Santa, for things like shoes, or heat, or diapers for her little brother.

The other poinsettia is from American Red Cross, because Mate and I have been giving to them every month.

The other day, I mentioned in the pool that a friend and I were trying to set up a knitting for charity room at RWA, and the next day one of the women brought me a pattern book for chemo caps--because her knitting group had two copies.

So on the one hand, yes. I'm afraid. My country has been taken over by the evil, the ignorant, and the insane--and the future for my children has never been so in question. I cry--every day--for other people's children, who have so very much less.

But on the other--I am still alive, and my children are still alive, and I've given them hope, and I guess if my parents have been teaching me how to keep hope alive, then maybe I've been doing the same thing.

Maybe, with their generation, it will stick.

They say that if our high school students and middle-school students had voted, Trump wouldn't have had a prayer.  If we keep fighting the good fight, keep hope alive, maybe the evil and ignorant will die out in time for the young and the hopeful to takeover.

All I know is that my Squishy helped me shop for her sister tonight--and every choice was good. Both my younger kids asked for books for Christmas. My older kids asked for a vacuum cleaner, and Legos, and clothes.

And to have Christmas in my home, as messy as it is.

Because it's still the home where all this happened, and in spite of all the fear of the future, all THIS was still a good thing.

Just a Little Guilty

Okay-- falling asleep, so this is gonna go quick:

*  Finished Red Fish, Dead Fish-- it's almost 100K, and it's a sequel to Fish Out of Water. Woot!

*  Attended ZoomBoy's choir recital tonight--where I was not only impressed with my offspring, but also impressed at how wonderfully all those middle schoolers sang when most of them seemed reluctant to open their mouths.

*  The concert had an audience singalong, and yes, I enjoyed myself. But just when I feeling my dorkiest, Mate turned to me at the beginning of Winter Wonderland and whispered, "Keep it G-Rated."  And suddenly I was cool mom again. (HAHAHAHA HAHA HA... Cool mom... hahahahah...)

*  Was watching Modern Family when they ran the commercial for Gucci Guilty--the censored one, that only hints at the threesome. It didn't matter. My kids figured it out immediately. And I was free, I tell you, FREE, because they learned about threesomes from Gucci and Jared Leto, and NOT from anything I wrote. *wipes forehead*  I've been dodging that bomb for years.

* Geoffie gets groomed tomorrow. I'll be sure to send pictures, cause ADORABLE.

*  We are a little behind on our Christmas shopping, and I"m freaking out. It's December WHAT? But we'll do some this weekend and some next week, and we should be good and broke and up to our eyeballs in crap by deadline!

Off to edit Fish!

Hey, Lady--ya wanna see my pirate ship?

Seriously--I had the strangest day.

There was taking T to get his prescription, wandering the pet store, trying to finish this damned book--all of that had a patina of general weirdness over it, but nothing, NOTHING tops the morning walk.

For starters, this was the morning I left the house with only one poop bag.

Normally, this isn't a problem-- two dogs, two leashes, two little containers with rolls of poop bags inside them. One of the containers went empty yesterday and, as I was pulling on the bag in the other container...oops!

It's my last bag.

Note-- we do have TWO dogs.

And I shit you not (heh heh heh) it was the little poop bag that COULD--managed three dumps in that puppy (heh heh heh) but after the third dump, it was done, I was ready to throw it away and generally, things would have gone very ill in my neighborhood if someone caught me letting my dogs dump on their lawn without a poop bag.

But this is where being a friendly person comes in handy.

See, before I knew I only had one poop bag, I'd passed a young father, walking his son AND his dog at the same time. I pulled my dogs to one side of the street, he used the other, and we waved at each other as if to say, "Yes, we could enjoy this walk together, if only, you know. Dogs. Fucking dogs. Oh well."

Anyway, we were walking the same route in different directions, as I discovered on the other side of the loop, when I saw him.

I moved to one side of the street, he stayed on his side, and that's when it hit me.

"Uh, hi!" I called, feeling like seven shades of dumbass. "Do you, uh, have an extra poop bag?"

He nodded, pulled it out, showed it to me, and then set it down on the ground, pushing it with his foot so it wouldn't get caught by a stray breeze. I waited patiently as he walked about three houses down, and then crossed the street with my dogs and got the bag.

Which, yes, I used later.

The whole thing had the air of two spies in unfriendly territory, exchanging information.

Who knew there could be that much espionage in a poop bag.

So that was one thing.

The other thing happened a few houses down, where I came upon a guy standing in the middle of the street with a leaf blower.

The guy himself was, well, unusual. About ten years older than I am, wearing a velour track suit with the zipper pulled down, he had Nor-Cal star tats on his wrist, and a pierced chin with a christmas earring dangling from each piercing, like a fu manchu mustache.

I smiled at him (because it's been working well for me so far) and waved, and he proceeded to break my heart.

See, his cat had just died.

He'd found it--hit by a car--and he was devastated. Just destroyed. His section of street is NOT meant to be traveled fast--he's at the mouth of a cul de sac and at the end of some pretty narrow turns in a heavily residential area. There's no reason anybody should be driving fast enough to not stop for a cat.  And this wasn't just "a cat"-- this was his BABY. The cat that followed him to the bathroom, the cat who talked to him when he cleaned the house. All of his cats were spoiled (they had little beds with matching heating pads. MATCHING HEATING PADS. Sayin'.)  But this one was dearest to his heart, and he found it.

He was going to blow leaves because he's addicted to home improvement and he liked to keep the neighborhood nice.

What he really needed was someone to talk to, and, well, lonely dog walker here. I was his to do with as he pleased.

What he did was show me his pirate ship.

"Hey, lady, wanna see my pirate ship?" may sound like a come on from a bad porn movie--but in this case, it was an invitation to see his painstakingly created backyard.

You can see from the pictures, it's amazing. Like any craftsman, he knew where every piece came from, and he gave me a detailed picture of what it takes to build something like this using scraps, sales, rope borrowed from neighbors and lots of time on Craigslist.  I know that if I'm knitting something for someone else, they have to hear details about yarn, fiber content, weight, needles, pattern, and designer, so I totally got the explanation.

He'd loved doing this.

He wanted to share.

I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with Tim--and I do hope his brother got there soon with the kitten he was bringing, because the poor guy was broken hearted and needed something to cheer him up.

I went on my way--and about four houses down, I got to use my borrowed poop bag.

Because, I guess, good neighbors come in all forms.

The Virgin Manny--and Out of the Pool

The Virgin Manny
Sometimes family is a blessing and a curse. When Tino Robbins is roped into helping his sister deliver her premade Italian dinners when he should be studying for finals, he’s pretty sure it’s the latter! But one delivery might change everything.

Channing Lowell’s charmed life changes when his sister dies and leaves him her seven-year-old son. He’s committed to doing what’s best for Sammy… but he’s going to need a lot of help. When Tino lands on his porch, Channing is determined to recruit him to Team Sammy.

Tino plans to make his education count—even if that means avoiding a relationship—but as he falls harder and harder for his boss, he starts to wonder: Does he have to leave his newly forged family behind in order to live his promising tomorrow?

Buy at Amazon
Buy at DSP
Buy at ARe


Okay-- so now that you've seen THAT (and it's SO PRETTY! And out on January 1st!)  I'll tell a quick story about little old ladies at the pool and run.

Yes--politics. They're everywhere. But you still don't expect little old ladies in a sometimes conservative area to trash talk Drumpf when you're in the middle of a workout.

You appreciate them, but you don't expect them.

In this case, we were talking we got ready to leave, and I mentioned what I did and what I wrote--and this woman just flowered.

She was so happy to be talking to a sympathetic person. Her grandson had come out to his family, and in her words, it was like he was a whole different kid. She said, "He should have known we'd love him and support him--but the fear. It was crippling."

Yes. Yes it is.  And I'm sure her fear of rejection for being a staunch liberal were pretty harsh too--but she was out and proud and unafraid of who knew her opinion.

But Goddess was she glad to see someone else shared it--someone else believed in LGBTQ rights, and religious freedom, and that racial inequality needs to be addressed.

Someone in her neighborhood, even. Someone she knew.

We forget, sometimes, how much good there is in the world. Talking politics and LGBTQ rights with this woman reminded me that people of all ages fight the good fight.

Bless this woman--she really is all that's good in the world.

Now back to writing Fish--cause it's almost done!

Miracles and Catastrophes

So, general consensus is that it's been a fucktastic year and yes, PEOTUS Fuckturd still hasn't been removed from office and we're all biting our nails to see which of our favorite altruistic celebrities are going to be sacrificed at the altar of 2016's bloodlust.

Personally, this year can suck Satan's bag of dicks for me--I've heard five bad health words this year that used to make me leave the room when my grandmas started to talk about them and I've worried more about my older children since I have when they were in middle school, and worried hard about neglecting my middle school children because my older children have been a full time job. Tonight, Big T is in the ER with an asthma attack (from venturing into his old room here, actually, which he never DID clean all the way out. *smacks him on head between albuterol treatments*)  Mate is with him, and I am here, reminding myself on a minute-by-minute basis that small miracles still happen and have happened to my family all year long.

So here's a list of small miracles, some this weekend, and some from the year, that are going to keep me from buying into the general consensus that the world would be better if we all jumped off a cliff.

Miracles--

*  Small handmade snowflakes from friends

*  Chocolate to eat and glass santa ornaments from family

* A visit from my stepbrother whom I haven't seen in eight years--he's doing fine, as is his girlfriend.

* Had the big kids over last night for Big T's birthday cake and chicken night and movies.

*  Moana-- was an awesome movie.

*  The knowledge that even when the little kids are out of the house, Mate and I will still be seeing animated features like we did before the kids were born.

*  Lucas Till has not gotten any less cute on MacGyver.

*  Christmas colored sock yarn

*  Squish is stunningly beautiful as she holds that snowflake, right?

*  Big kids got cats.  Even though we're pretty sure dust is what set Big T off, we can still give him a moderate amount of shit for being allergic to cats.

* Today's bath bomb was lavender--which means both middle schoolers went to bed smelling soft and sweet and like flowers.

*  I'm almost fifty, and Christmas trees still make me happy, even though they're more like solstice trees.

*  Knitting for Charity

*  I'm going to my friend's house in Florida before Coastal Magic and we're going to see Franklin Habit and another knitting teacher, and I'm going to knit with a writing friend.  I've done this before. It doesn't get any less exciting. (Not with this friend though. Yay!)

*  My dogs are wearing matching sweaters

* The cat has crapped under the Christmas tree twice and in our benevolence, we've let him live

*  Mate went on a walk with me tonight.

*  If I could just catch a break--and seriously, doc appointments, fender benders, car repair, ad infinitum, you guys, I've kept you out of it, but you have no idea-- anyway, if I could just catch a break, I'm almost done with Fish and only a little late on deadline.

*  My next book is short!

*  I have a book out on January 1st that should make you happy!  (btw-- Dreamspun Desires are on sale right now-- go, get them, enjoy!)

*  And when I press "post" I'm going to finish a truly rockin' sex scene.

Okay-- I could actually do this all night. (I may have to-- Big T is still in the ER and I'm waiting for news. He's mostly fine, we're just making sure, breathing is nothing to mess with.)

But I think there's still more small human good out there to counter the massive evil empire bad that so scares us all.

It's something to concentrate on, at any rate.

Remember your small miracles--and may your catastrophes be something you can recover from.

Night!

A Few Snapshots...

*So I was getting ready to write this blog last night, Thursday, when my computer froze and I absolutely needed to go to bed.  Friday and Saturday are usually my nights OFF blogging, but I had to finish this up.  Just so you know why no blog last night but blog tonight.

Okay-- first of all, it's been the most frustrating two weeks--I can't even tell you. It's like if 2016 wanted to cement it's identity as a thorough shit-fuck of a year, it's doing a good job.

But a couple of nice things happened today, and I'll share those with you before I embark on my weekend--

First of all, I went to PetSmart today, and Melissa came to visit.

I actually mentioned Melissa--and Cedar and Dr. Saunders (a.ka.a. Doc Marty) in Freckles. They are the wonderful crew that has helped me pretty much for the last eight or so years.  They helped us put down our animals and help us welcome new animals into our home.

Today, Melissa stopped and hugged me and said thank you.  She'd read Freckles (I'd given the office a copy) and loved it, loved seeing herself and Cedar and Dr. Saunders (I changed it to Doc Marty because we already had Sandy) all on the page, but she also loved the love story, and the dog.

It was lovely to see her--as always, and I asked her if she wanted to pose for Twitter.

She was delighted--and that picture is one of my favorites of anybody anywhere, because that smile is just pure goodness.  Bless all people who work with animals for their patience and true joy in their work.

The other thing that happened was Mate's team banquet.  This year is probably ZoomBoy's last playing soccer-- and he's sad about that, but we told him he could still go practice with the team. But U16 boys play so rough--and that's where the team will be next year. Unfortunately, Zoomboy will be starting the year playing at 13 and turn 14 as the season ends. He'll be too small--and just not as focused as the rest of the kids. In short, we are taking him out of soccer and encouraging him to do things he will really enjoy so that he might not get beat the fuck up.

It's a painful decision--but we watched him play games and chatter with his teammates last night, and I think it's the best one. Soccer was a good part of his childhood. We'd really like it to stay that way.

Anyway--Matt is going to keep coaching because this group of kids is his favorite.

He'll also coach Squish's team, because she's begging him to.

So he'll still be in soccer. And ZB will get to see his teammates.

But last night was still a little sad.

Today was a flurry of doctor's appointments and working out and picking up kids and napping. Tonight's my first time with the CPAP machine. Wish me luck--I"m sort of falling asleep as I type--hopefully that will help me get past the strangeness of having the thing on my nose.

Night!

Surprises, Good and Bad

I'll be honest--

I really wasn't thinking of the Rainbow Awards this year. I'd submitted as I've done for the last few years, but I knew my offerings this year were quieter than other years, and that was okay.

I get really excited when I see other writers, newer writers, friends, win too.  It's sort of awesome.

So imagine my surprise when Winter Ball won best Romantic Comedy-- that was unexpected and delightful-- as was having Lollipop and Selfie in the Runner Up categories for Best Gay Romance.

I was pleased and excited.

It's always nice to have your work acknowledged, and I'm so very happy for all the other winners and runners-up out there.

On the other hand...

Last night I performed a sleep apnea study-- some wonky heart rate things going on, that mostly have to do with being fat and old and mostly fat.

Anyway-- I figured the study would be a bust, because, hey, FAT. I spent all morning in the car driving cross town to return my equipment, and that was it. I dropped it off, and if there's nothing to report, well, you pretty much don't hear anything after that.

I expected this morning to be a big fat hassle for nothing.

So...

Uh, imagine my surprise when I got a phone call from Kaiser, telling me I was going to have to wear another piece of equipment for a week, because apparently it's all very well to be old and fat, but when your body threatens to stop breathing in your sleep, that's where you draw the line.

So, I wasn't exactly excited to get this particular surprise.

*sigh*

All things considered, I sort of wish all surprises were like the Rainbow Awards. Uh, yay!!!

Parking

Parking.
I'm not great at it.
You'd think it would be easy, right?
Someone paints the actual lines on the ground and you just place the car between them.
I'm always just a teeny bit off. Or a little more off. Or I've parked just too close to the car to my left to get my fat ass out of the car, and I have to back up and try again.  Or, you know, I've almost taken off the mirror of the car on my right and, uh, same.
One of my favorite places to park is the yarn store-- they've got a big plate glass window, and it's like doing jete's in a mirror, I can see my self going in and I can keep my body straight.
And one of my biggest pet peeves (since, you know, I touched a nerve with the bag boys who are going to get thrown to the zombies and I seem to be on a roll here) is people who park so severely off, that anyone parking next to them is going to look fucked up as well.  
Oh, you poor deprived millionaire, did you not want to park and repark your Lexus fifty million times to make sure it's in between the lines?  Well, tough, because now that you are using two parking spaces and are parked opposed to all of the rules of nature, using that space and a half next to you isn't going to be hard at ALL.
Or, well, it shouldn't be, because it's a space and a half, but when you're trying to orient yourself to two differently pointed vehicles, you end up in a strange angle between of entry, and you're late for your doctor's appointment anyway, and fuck it! So what if when this person pulls out it's going to make you look greedy and uncaring AND even more of a fuck up than they are, since you apparently TRIED to park right, but just weren't competent enough to gitterdone!
So, anyway...
I got back, and the offending car was still there.
And a tiny, childish part of me was filled with glee.
Because there might have been odds that, somehow, people would realize this weirdly parked car taking up two parking spaces really WAS the catalyst behind two rows of bad parking and it WASN'T me after all. 
And, quite frankly, the whole thing reminds me of when I was sitting next to a tiny woman on an airplane who yelled at me because my fat thigh slid an inch and was, oh my god, touching her and contaminating her seat with my fat.
Except it's with cars.
And parking spaces. 
And why can't I be 100 pounds and drive a Kia Sportage and take up as little room as humanly possible?
Why?
WHY?